There’s nothing quite like inviting houseguests into your humble abode, only to have the experience turn into a downright horror story. From friends with atrocious manners to the worst house-sitters imaginable, these stories are chockful of guests who overstayed their welcome. Buckle up, because these stories might inspire you to cancel all your best-laid plans.
1. It Looked Like Something Out Of CSI
I took in my niece because she was kicked out by her landlord. I gave her a month and she left the guest bedroom a total mess. It was so disgusting, it’s unforgettable. It looked and smelled like someone had passed in there. I had to have professional cleaners come in. The carpet was gone as she threw all her trash on the floor. She left her tampons and dirty clothes everywhere.
She even had bowls of food that had grown their own ecosystem. I took pictures of it all and when relatives chewed me out for sending her packing, I just sent them the photos.
2. Sunday Dinner Disaster
My dad had a cousin who was schizophrenic. He used to come over every Friday, Saturday, and sometimes Sunday for dinner with us. One time my dad made some good KC-style BBQ with ribs and baked beans. My cousin’s digestive system couldn’t handle it—but it was what he did next that was the problem. He went to the bathroom and got sick absolutely everywhere and didn’t tell anyone.
He went straight back to watching the football game in my dad’s man cave with my parents. My sister walked in after him and told me. I had a look and was shocked. We went to the man cave to tell my mom because my sister was about to pee herself and we weren’t going to even try to clean it. My mom totally didn’t believe us.
We finally convinced her to come into the house and see for herself. She screamed and got my dad, who had to clean it all up.
3. Social Media Snobs
My brother brought a few friends over after a party. We weren’t prepared for guests but rushed to clean up before everyone came. We told my brother to make sure everyone stayed downstairs and used the downstairs bathroom since the upstairs one was cluttered. While the party was going on, I went to use the bathroom upstairs and the door was locked.
I banged on the door and out popped two girls with suspicious looks on their faces. I went inside and my jaw dropped. EVERYTHING was open: the closet, the shower, the cabinet. They were just rifling through our stuff. It turns out they were recording and taking photos of themselves reacting to different products and our shower in a very mean girl way.
We had just moved in and hadn’t yet redone the bathroom. The home previously belonged to an elderly couple who hadn’t updated it since the 60s. We live in a high-income town and these girls came from much wealthier homes than ours. They took pictures and videos basically mocking our house and products after we graciously let them into our home. It was beyond violating and disrespectful.
4. Thanks But No Thanks
I reconnected with a friend who was moving back to town. There was a live outdoor music event going on that evening and I invited her over before my friends and I went to the event. She asked if I could pick her up. Once she was at my house, we were all having a few drinks, and she disappears. I find her in the kitchen, and my jaw dropped.
She literally has EVERYTHING out of my fridge and is cooking. When I say everything: I had just gone to the store and gotten fresh veggies, chicken breasts, ground beef. I was stocked up for a week or two. I ask her what she’s doing, and she tells me that she’s been a chef at some fancy restaurant for a while and wants to cook dinner for everyone.
First off: What the heck?? But although I’m annoyed, the food is already being cooked so I might as well get a meal out of it than get in a fight. Well, cue a few moments later when she gashes her finger open with a knife. Blood everywhere, including all over the food on the stove. Once I get her finger wrapped up, she asks me (and I quote): “Do you have a sewing kit? I’ll fix this right up.”
No is the obvious answer to that. I notice that she has gotten some blood on her dress and mention that to her. She asks me to take her home so she can change before we leave. Immediate “yes.” (I’m hoping I can ditch her there). As I’m driving her across town, she calls her mom and chews the poor woman out. Yelling at her to get a bucket of water and baking soda ready to soak the dress.
We finally get to her house and she could sense what I was thinking. She asks if I’d wait for her to change and she’d only be a moment. The second she shuts the door to my truck, I pull off. It escalated so fast. Seeing me do it, she then jumps on my hood and starts screaming about the two tallboy Bud Lights that she left at my house and that I’m a thief.
I finally get her off the hood of the truck and simply tell her she’s not invited, she destroyed ALL my food for over a week, and I never wanted to talk to her again. By the way: The food she was cooking looked and smelled terrible. She was not a chef, and she was not a good cook. I ended up cleaning up when I got home and whatever she was making was going to be uneatable, just a cross mix of chicken, beef, and every spice from my cupboard.
Think of a 10-year-kid unattended in the kitchen “making dinner.”
5. Dialed Into Debt
I was going to be gone half the summer, so I let a guy stay in my house for a month while he was in summer school. He was an excellent houseguest, other than he would call those racy 1-900 phone lines when he had been drinking. He even told me that they were going to be these phone bills coming and that he would pay for it.
However, we had no idea that it was going to be almost $1,000 in charges. The bill was 100 pages long. Each of the 1-900 numbers he called operated as individual little telephone companies that generated a separate bill for their services. So, there were about 50 separate bills printed that were bundled together by my local provider.
If I didn’t pay the bill, my service was going to be cut off. Luckily, I was able to get some of the bills canceled or reduced. My houseguest coughed up $500 and gave me a CD player, a PlayStation, and a TV as payment.
6. Rotten To The Core
I went on a weeklong trip up the east coast when I was younger with my boyfriend at the time. It was a Tuesday-Tuesday trip. At the time we went, I had my “friend” staying with us because they fell on some hard times. It had been around a month and everything was going great, so we decided to ask them to watch the house for the week as we had three dogs.
We pretty much told them to take the car, do whatever, have some alone time, get a little vacation from the very tragic event that happened in their life and we would pay for their food as they did not have a job—but JUST TAKE CARE OF THE DOGS. I’m sure you can sadly see where this is going. Well, we decided to get home one day early and I’m not sure if it was a blessing or luck or just whatever.
When we got home, I noticed that the car I had purchased just that month had side-swiped a yellow pole of some sort. So, naturally, I’m fuming already. I come up and open the door to three random guys on the couch, all making a mess in my RENTED townhouse. The hardwood floor had random spots all over it, some covered in towels, and there was now a baby/doggie gate up, blocking all three dogs in the kitchen who were just almost screaming instead of barking at the excitement of seeing us.
Immediately, I threw everyone out before even walking around further in the house. Of course, my “friend” used this opportunity to get out with the people while I was not paying attention and running around in a frenzy. She must have had a bag packed, like she was going to leave just before we came back anyways. When I say the house was destroyed, I mean it was disgusting.
We came to find out that all of the spots on the hardwood floor in the living room were dry spots of dog pee that weren’t cleaned up and caused the floors to ripple up. Under the towels throughout the house was wet dog pee that was just left to dry on its own. I assume they were so angry at the dogs peeing in the house, that now the dogs were left and gated off in the kitchen for what looked like the entire weekend.
Walking into the kitchen, the piles/puddles of dog poop and pee were ABUNDANT. I had two full-size Dobermans, and those things ate like horses and pooped like them too. The miniature pinscher, well, you never even really noticed when she went to the bathroom, but still, not the point. The grout in the kitchen reeked of dog pee for months.
There was so much of it that it flowed together in a huge pile, made a literal 6-foot long creek of dog pee where I guess the tile sloped, and leaked behind the stove and absorbed in the freaking drywall behind the stove.
AND—the WORST part, one of the Dobermans ended up with a UTI!!!! We noticed it because within the puddles of pee in the kitchen, there were pink puddles. I freaking cried for hours holding my dogs. The cosmetic list just kept growing. But, I wasn’t angry about my belongings or the townhouse, really, but the utter *neglect* and disrespect for my animals that DEPEND on me/humans in general to take care of them!! It disgusted me to my core.
I felt their personalities shift a bit around anyone who ever came over after that. It was heartbreaking. My dogs were literally sleeping in their own pee and poop the entire weekend, at minimum. It was clear they were not taken care of at all and I was never able to go on another trip without taking them because I was afraid they would be neglected and I would come home to them gone, no matter who watched them!
I don’t know if they ever ate or what. I can’t honestly say they were ever let out. It was hands down the worst experience ever, and the one and only time I ever had a houseguest or someone watch my animals. She left some of her belongings and I threw every single thing she left away. It was never worth trying to get her to pay for anything because, well, she didn’t have a job and I probably would have blacked out from sheer anger if we ever crossed paths again.
7. Rotting Away
The worst guest my family has ever had was our friend’s son who was 20 and had a habit of eating an apple before bed every night. But every night, he took that apple into bed, ate it, and left the core down the side of the bed. After having them up for a week, we discovered a stash of apple cores shoved down the side of the bed. It would have been so much easier to just to throw them out!
8. He Was A Grump To My Grams
When I was 13, my cousin had a friend over. My grandma offered to make him a sandwich. A little while later he said, “Where is that sandwich coming from, South Dakota?” I guess he thought it was taking too long. I was completely appalled at how someone could say such a thing to someone’s grandmother that they had just met.
9. Party Pukers
I hosted a party once and my friends came over, but two had already had several drinks each. No one told me, and they were acting really sober. Later, I found out what was really going on. They were having a competition. They continued to drink through the night and a couple of my more straight-laced friends were leaving. I showed those guys out, and when I came back downstairs I watched one of the tipsy friends just fall out of her chair.
The rest of the night was spent monitoring her to see if we should call an ambulance. Another person puked all over my bathroom, literally everywhere but the toilet, and passed out on the couch where another friend just held a spit bucket for him for about three hours. We pulled the heavily intoxicated friend outside where she barfed about 10 times. It was awful. I was mad but just glad they were okay and thankful for all the help my not passed-out friends were.
10. I Wash Myself With A Rag On A Stick
I lived in a 1 bedroom, 1 bath with my then-boyfriend. He begged to let his best friend stay with us while he gets on his feet, since he was moving from several states away. My boyfriend explained that he had some interpersonal issues like anxiety and told me how he was a bit traumatized from an involuntary stay at a mental health ward as a teen but was otherwise harmless.
He was a lump and did nothing for a couple months. But I don’t know why I let him stay after learning about his special rag. A few days after he’s living there, I ask my boyfriend what’s up with the rag draped on the side of the tub, because it looks and smells gross. My boyfriend goes beet red and storms out. He then starts yelling at the friend.
“You freaking promised this wasn’t going to be an issue again!” This is how I learned this guy has a single rag he used to wipe after pooping. He didn’t want more than that single disgusting rag, and he cleaned it by running hot water through it and ringing it out to dry. No soap because those unneeded chemicals could damage his precious posterior.
Remembering the smell made me vomit when my boyfriend explained all this to me. I don’t know what they worked out after that. I never saw the rag again and I didn’t ask because I was scared of the answer. As disgusting as that was, it wasn’t evil or dangerous. But the last straw came after months of him doing nothing but playing our gaming systems.
One day, he used my game pre-order codes (back when they gave you stuff for that) while I was at work. Sounds petty, but we were both so done at that point. Honestly, I’m still angry about it as I was never able to get that gear from my favorite franchise at the time. His hygiene and smell was the worst, but he also didn’t cook, clean, or pay towards anything.
11. Left Unattended
A relatively new friend of my partner’s came over because she and her husband were fighting. Before she arrived, we had colored our hair and left her alone to watch TV while we rinsed our hair. When we were done, she and my partner went onto the patio to talk. Fast forward 45 minutes later, her speech got weird, and she started falling asleep. The realization only hit us later.
Right after we called an ambulance, we found out that she’d taken an entire bottle of my son’s medication.
12. She Made Me Want To Flea
I let a friend and her dog stay at my house for a weekend while I was away. My kitchen was a disaster and she left the back door unlocked—but that’s not the worst part. I had asked her directly if her dog was on flea prevention and she assured me it was. After I was swarmed with the bugs in my living room, I questioned her again and she admitted that the “flea prevention” she was giving the dog was yeast and garlic tablets.
She made no offer to help me treat the house or reimburse me. She was not invited back.
13. Brother From Another Mother?
My brother’s best friend came to live with us for “a few months” because he wanted to move back to our state. My parents agreed because he was supposed to go to college and they believe college education is important. Well, eight years later, he was still there. All of my parent’s children had moved out, but for some reason, my brother’s best friend was still living there.
14. Late Night Losers
I invited about 15 friends over for a party at my house and late into the night, we were having so much fun that anyone who wanted to stay over, did. We were watching movies, playing card games, and roughhousing. At 2 am most of us were winding down and trying to go to sleep. Three of my guests went into the common area a few yards away from the rest of us.
They stayed up all night on their phones and iPads, watching racy videos, playing music, laughing, and joking. Eventually, my mother (who was sleeping literally behind the wall they were making the noise from) got fed up and told them all to put it away and go to bed. They put headphones on but still didn’t go to sleep.
The next morning, the three people who had stayed up were passed out on the carpet and all around them were wrappers from almost every snack and sweet in our entire house. They emptied three tubs of ice cream, half a cake, all of our chips, cheese sticks, puddings…EVERYTHING. Thankfully they didn’t empty our cereal and bread stash so we were still able to make everyone breakfast. We don’t talk anymore and I haven’t invited them to social gatherings since.
15. She Just Didn’t Leave
I had an old friend who was in town. I offered to let her stay with me for a week instead of getting a hotel. A week turned into two, which became a month. When I confronted her and asked when her new place would be ready, her reaction made me blood run cold. She said she thought she could just stay with me. Since she had all of her stuff there for over two weeks, I had to formally evict her.
16. Get A Room
I had a friend from college who used to invite herself to visit one or two times a year. It got to the point where I would dread these visits because my friend would complain about everything. Things like, “When you move again, can you find an apartment with a sink with only one handle? This current setup sucks.” She’d also brag about money, plus we had somewhat grown apart at this point, so the visits were sometimes awkward.
I was starting to feel like I was being used as a hotel since I live in Chicago. On her most recent (and last) visit, I firmly told her she had to get a hotel room. I had moved into a studio and did not even have a couch for her to sleep on. We were 29 at the time. I am an assistant and she is a pharmacist. We were out for drinks and she said, “I just think it’s so wild how I live in this huge, new beautiful home and you basically live in a tiny room.”
PSA: For the love of God, never invite yourself to stay with people, be it friends or family. Let them invite you. You might think you are welcome, but it is entirely possible that your “host” is just being polite and feels like she/he cannot say no. I recently reached out to this friend to wish her a happy birthday and her response was, “Thank you! Let’s plan a visit soon!”
17. There Was Snow Chance Of Him Leaving
We had a dinner guest who asked to stay overnight because of impending snow. My spouse and I agreed as we didn’t have work the next day. However, the guest did. He started freaking out at 7:30 in the morning because we hadn’t shoveled the driveway for him yet. He yelled at us saying, “How am I supposed to get to work on time?!”
18. Christmas Catastrophe
I invited a very close friend over for Christmas dinner the first year after our daughter was born. My wife and I lived in a very small ranch-style house. After a lengthy discussion with my friend about what he could bring to dinner, we settled on a salad. We were pretty clear on time and length of stay since at that time we had a six-month-old baby.
He showed up 45 minutes late, with a new girlfriend who we had never met and had no idea about. She thought it would be okay to bring her old, aggressive, large dog, who terrorized our beagle and elderly chihuahua. Her dog then peed right on our one nice rug and they didn’t clean it up. She didn’t even apologize. And then there was the cherry on top.
They didn’t even bring the salad they said they were going to, and they stayed until 11 pm. My wife went to bed an hour before they left, but they simply did not get the hint. I was shocked at their behavior since this was my oldest friend. Not anymore though…
19. Two Week Takeover
My dad’s best friend and his family stayed with us for two weeks one summer. I was nine years old and my sister was a two-week-old newborn when they arrived. The wife kept putting my sister onto her stomach while she slept when no one was looking. When my mom finally caught her and told her to stop, because of the risk, she replied, “I did it with all my kids and they turned out fine,” and continued doing it. But that was just the start of the nightmare.
The wife would also only cook sausages and mashed potatoes for dinner. She would get angry at my mom when she cooked something different. She also heavily restricted anyone in the kitchen. I had to ask permission to get a cup of water or eat a biscuit from the pantry in my own house. Her husband would also dictate what activities we were allowed to do and when.
20. He Wasn’t Using His Noodle
I had a houseguest over. Suddenly, I heard the fire alarm ring. I ran to the kitchen—and I couldn’t believe my eyes. He had started a kitchen fire by cooking spaghetti in cake pans…without any water. I found him looking over the stove trying to blow out the fire, with his mouth, which was basically stoking the flames. I slid the flaming cake pan into the sink and doused it in water to put it out.
21. Girls Trip
A high school buddy of mine called to ask if his late-teens daughter and her two friends could stay at our house for a night, as they were traveling around the world. Of course, we said, and we even gave them our master bedroom and master bath, so they could clean up and spoil themselves. Not to brag, but we have an awesome setup, and those two rooms are about 700 sq ft.
Shortly after seeing their new digs, they announced that they were staying for six days…actually assuming we’d let them have our room the entire time. We said, “Uhhhhh….no….one night of fun, then down to the basement” (which is still pretty nice). They left the next morning while were out, didn’t say thank you, took a bunch of snack food, and made us sound like horrible hosts to my buddy. The entitlement was laughable.
22. If The Shoe Fits
My friend who came over one day has a known foot odor problem. I’ve known this friend for more than 20 years, and every time he comes over, I tell him to take his boots off outside and leave them on the porch instead of taking them off inside and leaving them by the door. I just got a new deep freezer, the big chest kind with a flip-up lid, and he took his boots off and put them in my brand new, empty freezer.
Apparently he did this because he saw a post on Facebook about how foot odor is caused by bacteria and that if you freeze your shoes, it will kill all the bacteria, thus eliminating your foot odor problem. I opened my freezer and nearly passed out from the smell. Best part was, he took his boots out and for about three minutes, they did smell okay, so he was ecstatic…but not for long.
As everyone knows, you pour a cold drink and within minutes you have condensation running down the side of your glass. Well, his boots were super cold and after about three or four minutes, water vapor started condensing alllllllll over his boots. They were SOAKING wet inside and out and stunk even worse. He ended up throwing them away that day.
23. They Caused A Full Metal Racket
We had friends who were house-sitting for us. When we returned home, they had rearranged almost all the furniture. Most of it was just moving things back but they pushed an old teacher’s desk we had down into the basement. It was one of those huge metal monstrosities that weighed a ton. There was no way to get it back up the stairs without some type of machine that I couldn’t afford. So, that thing stayed in the basement and was sold with the home. They also damaged a recliner so it didn’t recline anymore and claimed they didn’t.
24. Pizza With Extra Toppings
I was 18 and living in my dad’s house with his new wife after he got married. I invited a local friend to stay with me for a week. She invited another friend. No problem so far. However, I had leftover pizza in the fridge and came home one night after work looking forward to eating it. I opened the pizza box. Yes, the pizza was gone…but that wasn’t why I nearly screamed in terror.
See, not only was the pizza gone but there was also a used maxi pad in the box. WHY.
25. He Was A Doggone Nightmare
I had a friend who came to stay with me. As he was moving in, he said, ”By the way, I have a dog. I hope that’s fine,” as his dog ran into my house and jumped on my couch. He never once cleaned up the dog’s poop from the backyard. Then, he sat right next to me on the couch when my husband was at work and asked me to restart what I was watching from the beginning so he could join.
He also complained that I was using the second bedroom for my office when the last friend who stayed with us, and paid rent, had it as their room. His stay was cut short.
26. Not So Sweet 16
At my 16th birthday party, a girl who I had been friends with for my entire childhood said she wasn’t feeling well and while the party was going on, she went up to my bedroom to sleep. Later that night, she came back down to announce that she had a new boyfriend out of nowhere! MINE, who was on vacation with his family. She had been texting him the entire night.
27. Late Night Losers
My partner’s friend showed up after 11 PM on a weeknight with some other random friend. They would come home after 11 PM every night of their stay knowing we had to work in the morning. They weren’t quiet either. They would be ready to party and try to get us to drink. They would spill things without wiping them up, leave glassware everywhere, use our fancy dishes, and never pick up after themselves. But that was just the tip of the iceberg.
They never even bothered to ask me anything about myself, insulted my restaurant recommendations, cheered against my team for no reason when I had the game on, and made a comment about how there must be a lot of “gay stuff” going on in my brother’s rehab stay. They were both just obnoxious to be around.
28. The Company You Keep
My now ex-boyfriend’s buddy took over our bedroom. Like, I came home from work to find him on our bed with his dirty socks on our pillows as he was on his computer. He would constantly sit in between my boyfriend and I, would eat on the couch or in our bed and leave crumbs, and if I attempted to talk to my boyfriend, he would immediately interrupt me to say something.
If we went to go out for anything he would invite himself along and sit in the front seat, no matter whether I was driving or my boyfriend was. He would then leave trash all over our car. But there was a kicker. He brought his girlfriend around too, and we later found out she was a minor—he was 19, she was 15. Not cool. I sometimes think the best part of our breakup was not dealing with that friend anymore.
29. Noodle Head
I was seven months pregnant with my second child, and we hit a period of severe financial hardship, like eating buttered noodles every meal because that was all we could afford. I made sure my daughter ate properly, but I didn’t. I saved for two months (seriously) and then bought myself a $7 steak because I was seriously craving meat.
I came home after work to cook that steak up, and my “friend” who we let stay there for a week because she “had nowhere to go” was eating it!!!! She knew how poor we were. Her excuse??? “It is inhumane to make a grown adult eat nothing but buttered noodles.” I grabbed her clothes, threw them outside, and told her to LEAVE.
30. Sitting by the Open Fire
My bible-thumping grandma stayed the week of Christmas when I was 12 or 13. I woke up Christmas morning super excited for all of my gifts. My parents were already arguing with her because she had taken all of my Harry Potter books and thrown them in the fireplace even the one my parents had just gotten me for Christmas. She wasn’t welcome back for Christmas anymore.
31. Gone With The Wind
We were helping out my nephew and letting him stay with us. He ended up selling the car that we let him use, then he got on a plane and left town without telling us. We didn’t even know he was gone until we received a Facebook message from some random guy saying my nephew told him to contact us for the pink slip. He left his bedroom filled with cigarette butts, empty drink cans, and old vapes.
32. Goblin Go Home
A few years ago, our good friend and her boyfriend came to stay with us for a week. Our friend was a saint, however, her boyfriend was a goblin. To this day I have no idea how this man survived into his 20s—he was the absolute strangest person I had ever met. He was fine for the first couple of days. He took us all out for drinks and acted like a total gentleman.
A couple of days in, he decided he wanted to be a dealer in our neighborhood. For reference, we lived in a residential family neighborhood in “the hood” of our city. There were already several dealers on our block. We tried to convince him this was a very bad idea, specifically because we didn’t want the others thinking our house was the competition.
He didn’t listen. Fortunately, nothing serious happened and he didn’t run into anyone important. He did, however, run into our next-door neighbor, and invited himself into the guy’s house. Our neighbor was a nice dude, but not someone we had ever actually hung out with, so we began the process of trying to extract him. However, having no social cues whatsoever, he wasn’t picking up on it.
Suddenly our friend’s boyfriend stood up and exclaimed, “I’m bleeding!” His shin was bleeding a lot, where he had apparently picked a scab. Our neighbor asked him if he wanted a Band-Aid, but he just said, “Nah man, I can handle it.” We eventually got him out, but not before he bled all over the place. The next morning my fiancée got up before sunrise to use the bathroom and saw the guy in the backyard with his pants down, pleasuring himself.
She decided not to confront him because it would be weird. We later asked his girlfriend about it and we offered to leave if they wanted some privacy to get busy. Apparently, he believed it was rude to be intimate in someone else’s house and thought it would be more polite to have at it in the yard. Again, we lived in a residential family neighborhood. We had no idea what possessed him to think this was okay.
He also had a condition where every time he was cold, he would grab at his stomach, make audible “uhh…brrrr” sounds, and complain that his stomach hurt. We couldn’t figure out what that had to do with being cold. At one point, he bought a gallon of milk and a can of chili. He rapidly ate the chili and chugged the milk, then projectile vomited all over the backyard.
When we asked his girlfriend why he didn’t just use the toilet, she said he’d told her he “wanted to be polite.” He would sleep in our living room all day and pass gas a lot. He would take hour-long showers and use up all of our hot water, shampoo, and conditioner. On the day they were supposed to leave, I decided I had enough and was burned out.
I got in my car and started driving to the local drugstore to get out of the house. Lo and behold, our guest hopped our fence, slid in my passenger door, and said he needed a couple of things for the trip so he was coming with me. When we got to the store, he was being loud and yelling across the place trying to have conversations with me.
At that point, I was just counting down the minutes until he was going to leave. We got to the checkout line, he cut in front of me, and before the cashier even started to ring him up, he started asking for discounts. I believe he asked for the “out of towners discount” and also tried to apply for a credit card—at CVS.
When this didn’t work and his stuff came out to be more than he wanted it to, he said, “Hey man, can you get me this drink, I thought I’d be able to get some discounts.” I reluctantly added his drink to my basket because I didn’t want to deal with the hassle. But then came the cherry on top. He looked in my basket, which contained shampoo and conditioner to replace the ones he used up, and said “Dude, you go through a lot of Suave for a bald guy.”
33. Halloween Hurl
We had our first “big” Halloween party in our new place. We had all the food and drinks for everyone and invited a handful of friends. My one friend asked to invite her new-ish boyfriend to the house. She brought him a six-pack, and when he showed up, he drank another six-pack himself. He spent most of the evening staring daggers at another guest and drinking all the drinks they had brought for him.
Once that was gone, he started rummaging through our fridge. We had to ask him to leave the fridge and maybe have water. We all sat down to play an “adult game” after the kids went to bed and he got up in the middle of it and walked down the hallway to the bathroom. When he got out, he went out to his car and came back in wearing a different shirt with noticeable vomit spots on it.
We asked him if he got sick and he said no. I went to go to the bathroom a few minutes later and noticed all down the hallway there was puke leading to the bathroom, and everywhere in the bathroom. I yelled, “What the heck!?” So my husband came to see what was up. We spent a good amount of time away from our party cleaning up another adult’s barf. Once that was done, we confronted him.
Thankfully, a couple of our good friends were bigger guys and tried to help defuse the situation. The guy got instantly offended and belligerent and just refused to admit it was him. He even tried to pin it on the kids. He ended up threatening my husband and friends and we ended up calling law enforcement. He was very scary, especially for someone we had just met! Thankfully, they took him away and most of us never saw him again.
34. Tiny Torment
There was a nine-year-old little girl from down the street who was friends with my daughter. She would come to our house at least every other day, and would mostly just show up. She had an opinion about EVERYTHING we did. My wife and I could not make a move without feeling judged, or receiving some advice I would never expect from a nine-year-old, ranging from how messy our house was, to how we spent our money.
Not only that, but she would talk back as much as my own kids did.
35. He Was Odd, No Matter How You Sliced It
I had a guy stay with me for about a month because he met a girl online which turned into a big catfishing debacle. We had mutual friends and he was waiting for his parents to wire him money for a plane ticket back home. I didn’t want him to be out on the streets, so I offered him my place. The entire time he stayed with me, 90% of his daily caloric intake was eating slices of American cheese out of the fridge.
He went through about two dozen packs of cheese in that one month.
36. Weekend Intruder
My boyfriend’s friend and his girlfriend flew in for the weekend. It started off with all of us working from home and the girlfriend snapping at us anytime we talked. Anytime she said she was hungry, it was implied we need to make her something. She didn’t say thank you or clean up in any way, shape, or form. She started spinning cat hair she would find from my cat between her toes.
I found cat hair yarn for weeks around the house. She wasn’t happy with our guest room and tried to sleep in our room instead. She was upset when she walked in when I was sleeping, and found me in my own bed. Towards the end, she was actively trying to start a fight with my boyfriend by instigating him in an assortment of topics. Her behavior was absolutely bizarre and we didn’t quite understand what was happening. Still don’t.
37. Don’t Mess With My Dog
I had a high school party with 10-15 fairly close friends and a few friends of friends. People were in multiple rooms, playing games, watching movies, doing whatever. A few hours in, the friends of friends were nowhere to be found. I go looking for them. I had specifically told everyone that upstairs was off-limits since my parents’ room had some fragile valuables that I didn’t want anyone messing around with.
I went up there to find that all three of them are messing around with my dog. One was holding an airsoft pistol from my room, another had my dog in a headlock in the corner of the room, and the third one was trying his best to scare the absolute bejeezus out of her. Needless to say, I lost it. I kicked them all out immediately. The friend who invited them was trying to defend them, while I spent the rest of the night with my dog, who had welts from mistreatment.
I cut ties with said friend who invited them because she insisted that what they did “wasn’t that bad.”
38. He Had An Appetite For Destruction
I was in a band with some dudes. I was the bass player, the manager, the roadie, the sound guy, and the financier. My best friend was the drummer, and another guy was the lead singer and guitarist. The singer’s wife had kicked him out, so I let him stay with me. His wife had destroyed all his clothes, so I spent about $500 on clothes for him, which he said he would pay back.
I also bought his kids Christmas presents, which he said he would pay me back for. A couple of weeks later, stuff suspiciously started turning up missing. It was all minor stuff, and we had parties from time to time, so I wasn’t sure if this guy was the culprit. About a month later, I booked a significant gig. It was a music festival and paid WAY more than any other gig we ever had.
Two days before the gig, I came home and the guy was gone. Later that night, we were supposed to practice, but he didn’t show. I went to practice and all the microphones and guitars were gone. He pawned them and went on a partying spree. Two days after that, he got into a fight and broke a guy’s neck, and was locked up.
Because I had spent so much on his clothes and kids, I didn’t have enough money to get the guitars out of pawn, and his new life pretty much ensured that he was never going to pay me back. I lost the guitars and microphones and that was the end of the band.
39. Too Close For Comfort
I let a friend stay with me while he was in town. At the time I lived with four other people. He woke up in the morning and just started rummaging through the cupboards and was eating my roommates’ food. When I asked him why he would do that, and that it wasn’t even mine to offer to him, he said he would want guests at his house to feel comfortable just eating the food in the cupboards.
40. Washroom’s Just Down the Hall
I have three roommates. Two of them are excellent, quiet, friendly clean, do their share of everything. This other guy is a total jerk. He doesn’t clean at all and wants people to buy stuff he’ll go halves on but never does. He opened my wall locker to use my laundry soap, which is like $10 for a small jug overseas. He says he’ll spot me back. He doesn’t.
I take the initiative to take the garbage out when it starts to get full—but that’s when I made a disturbing discovery. I found a few water bottles filled with a clear yellow liquid. Pee. Pee bottles. I’m by no means a loud type, but this was horrid, and I needed to yell to get some shame factor in. He denied it. Then later I came in to see him clear out two more bottles from under his bunk.
He now laughs and says I’m the one that was being ridiculous. He gets on Skype at 3 AM, and wakes us up. Yet when we do anything at a normal time, like 7 PM, we’re the jerks. Plus, he’s totally awful to his family back home along with his girlfriend. Not cool, I’m trying to get this bag of dirt out of my room and building.
41. Out and Away with You!
My worst guest was an ex-friend of mine. This was after trying to help her for months. At one point, my girlfriend and I let her crash at our place for two weeks while she sorted her life out before she went into full crazy mode. We went away for the first five days of that and got engaged. We came back to our entire apartment reorganized and found out she went through everything. She had taken over the living room and the office by bringing all of her stuff from home to our place.
We thought that she would crash on our pull-out couch and we could help her get back on her feet. Instead, she dominated our lives and seemed disinterested as to ever leaving, and we couldn’t enjoy our recent engagement. She then started to spout conspiracy theories. We convinced her to leave after a few weeks and threw away the rest of her stuff after a few months when she wouldn’t pick it up. Then we moved away soon after and threatened everyone to not tell her where.
42. He Left A Trail Of Destruction
I had a friend of a roommate try to get into my room, which I kept locked, numerous times. He ate my food, destroyed my cookware, burned a hookah, which set the couch on fire and nearly smothered me because I have asthma. He broke the washer, the bathroom sink, and the lanai door. He then “lost” the keys to the apartment, so I had no idea if someone could get in.
Then to finish it off, he harassed me and tried to put cameras up. I finally got the roommate evicted and the locks changed.
43. Sauced Ceiling
My ex-brother-in-law plopped himself along with a plate of BBQ ribs on my nice, cream-colored sofa. He then proceeded to chow down. He used the sofa as a napkin, spilled the meat on it, and I kid you not, I actually had BBQ sauce on the ceiling above where he was sitting. I still have no idea how on earth he got that up there.
44. We’ve Got Aunts
My aunt came to visit for what was supposed to be a week or two…and didn’t leave for almost a year when I was a kid. But then she took it to the next level. She redecorated my room and even put up pictures of herself. Now the running joke in my family is to randomly leave pictures of ourselves around the house when we visit people.
45. House Sitting Or House Squatting?
My sister-in-law housesat for us this one time when we were out of town. There were tons of disrespectful presents left for us—for example, a cookie crumb trail of rubber wrappers, which led to an actual used rubber But the worst was after cleaning all that up, which was merely aggravating and stupid, there was a putrid smell coming from somewhere.
I couldn’t put my finger on the source, until I finally opened a drawer in the dresser in the guest room. She had left an entire takeout container in there, and there was half an omelette that had gone rancid. I have to hope she just had to go quickly and forgot all that stuff was there when she left. Either way, though, we took our key back from her.
46. Coffee Anyone?
One New Years’ Eve we hosted a family party. Two elementary-age boys were having a disagreement of sorts, as kids do. It was hot and cold, fighting one minute, the next being best friends. The problem was they were the only sons of two single mothers. A little while later, the kids were in a bounce house with a few other children and their fight was forgotten.
Except, well, one of the moms went to the bounce house enraged over the ongoing conflict and threw a hot coffee on the opposing boy. Fortunately, it didn’t scald the boy, but we had to kick the mom out.
47. A Total Fake
A girl I considered one of my closest friends at the time wanted to crash at my place after a night out. We come in, she immediately lies on the couch and starts fake sleeping. Within actual seconds. I poke her, give her a shake, she does nothing. It’s very clear she was pretending but I was too inebriated to care, so I went to bed. This girl was well known for fake fainting and fake falling for attention and I couldn’t be bothered entertaining it.
Shortly after, she took money from my bag, money from my mom’s bag, some heirloom family earrings, and also the lipstick I’d been wearing that night for some reason. The worst part was she climbed out of the window, leaving it wide open for my inside cat to be able to get out. We found the cat later that day, but when I messaged her, she accused my mom of doing it.
48. Snack Attack
Once, I picked up my sister and her husband from the airport. I dropped them off at my house before taking my preschool kid to a doctor’s appointment. I told them to make themselves at home, and that we would be back in two hours. They ate all the snacks in the entire house, including ten brand new boxes of Girl Scout Cookies.
It was at least two months’ worth of snacks. They laughed and said that they, “Just couldn’t help themselves since they don’t have junk food at home.”
49. He Left My Grandpa Plumb Exhausted
My grandpa drove over to our house every day for a few months to get away from his insane wife. In turn, he was fixing up our disgusting bathroom. He was perfectly fine, but when it came time to fix some of the plumbing, he decided to play it safe and find someone to do it instead. Luckily, my mom found some guy next door willing to do it for free. Well, we were in for a surprise.
The first red flag was when he showed up six hours later than he had agreed to. It was late, but my grandpa was just grateful to have someone help him who wasn’t his ex-wife. However, this man was acting a bit manic and stayed until 4 AM. My grandpa was absolutely exhausted. We highly believe he was on something. When he finally left, my mom took the time to inform me that she thought this guy was my great uncle!
50. Puppy Hate
This couple came for a weekend to my small apartment…and I was quite surprised that they brought three dogs and an extra friend. The puppy took a dump on my floor in the night, which nobody got up to clean. The other dog had a crate but managed to get a hold of a carpet outside of the crate, drag it in, and shred it. They also chewed up cardboard and wooden furniture. When they left, all the shredded stuff was just where it fell.
51. Show Some Respect
I ran into a guy I used to call a friend and let him stay with me for a while as he was down on his luck. I guess we’d run out of toilet paper one day, so he used a washcloth. Ok. Except…he left it at the side of the toilet. I kicked him out after that and found out later he walked away with some of my CDs. Well, some mutual friends let him stay with them, against my advice.
They came home one day to find him passed out on the couch with his pants around his ankles. After they kicked him out, they found out he’d racked up $900 in phone charges to escorts. Screw you, Nole. You always were and always will be a piece of trash.
52. Sandwich Swiper
I would make all of my sandwiches for the week on Sunday nights and put them in the refrigerator. An acquaintance was over with a group of friends, and he went into the kitchen for a minute. He came back with one of my premade sandwiches. It wasn’t about the food per se, but the fact that he took a premade sandwich from my refrigerator without asking.
53. I Wanted To Sake To Him
My husband’s old friend stayed with us for two weeks while we were living in Japan. He was very smug and irritating. He thought he was an instant “expert” on Japan after a few days when we had been living there for two years. He finally left on a Friday. My husband and I had separate plans on Saturday. I returned in the afternoon to an unlocked door and the sound of the TV.
I thought my husband had returned early—but I was so wrong. It was the friend. He thought we were gone for the weekend, so he broke into our apartment for an extra two-night stay. He actually protested and said, “You weren’t supposed to be here!” He refused to leave until my husband came back home and told him personally that he had overstayed his welcome.
54. Half-Hearted Housesitters
My girlfriend and I went away for a week and a half and a friend of ours volunteered to housesit and take care of our pets (two cats and two lizards). We made sure they knew what to do and wrote a care sheet for each animal, outlining what was needed to keep the animals healthy while we were away. Feed the cats, clean their litter, chop up veggies for the lizards and feed them bugs, and give the lizard a quick bath if she poops because she’ll definitely run around in it.
After we ran our friend through the daily care routine, we said our goodbyes and went away. When we came back, our apartment looked nice, but there was a HEAVY scent of cat urine all over the apartment, and when I checked on my lizard, she had poo all over her underside. Not cool. Bearded dragons have salmonella in their poo, and this meant she ran a risk of getting very sick if she ran over her food.
We ended up having to take her to the vet and spend $300 for tail rot and to check for food poisoning. The cat litter was literally solid. Our one cat was so fed up with the amount of excrement in the litter that we saw him peeing on the floor, which had never happened before, or since this incident. It was clear to us that he did next to nothing to care for our pets like he promised he would.
55. Judgement Day
I had just gotten my first apartment and I had scrounged up all of my money to buy some decent furniture. I wanted to invite my closest friends over and make them a home-cooked meal. All of my furniture had just arrived on the same day, so I thought it was perfect. I prepared spaghetti for them and invited them all over. After dinner, my friend proceeded to lift up her feet on the head of my brand new couch and pick her toes and the dry skin on her feet on my first ever couch.
I wanted the earth to swallow me up. She also proceeded to make fun of me for “doing cheap things” and judged me for doing stuff like couponing. She made me feel really terrible.
56. She Was A Retch
When I was 19, I moved to a new state with my girlfriend, who I hadn’t been with for all that long. A few months in, she decided her friend from college was going to move in with us. On her first night with us, we were all watching TV, when, without warning, she puked all over her end of the couch. She absolutely covered it.
To add to the experience, she was partying a lot and whenever she wasn’t high, she would bawl and scream every single night because she was running on serotonin fumes.
57. She Was On A Feeding Frenzy
We had someone my mom knew from work stay with us for a while when he and his wife were going through a divorce. He was all-around bad news but the thing that really set us off was that we caught him and his new girlfriend feeding random stuff to our dog. When I caught them, they were tossing our pooch chicken bones from KFC, which can be really dangerous for dogs.
58. Constant Complainer
My sister’s boyfriend was extremely disrespectful to my parents and sister. He was staying at my parents’ house because my sister inadvertently got him kicked out of his aunt’s house. She felt bad, so she asked my parents to let him stay for some time until they could find other living arrangements. He brought over all his stuff and made himself right at home quickly.
He set up his Xbox in the living room and played all day because he didn’t have a job. He’s 27. He would constantly complain about the Internet being laggy and would tell anyone who was listening that our Internet was terrible. He would constantly take an entire loaf of pepperoni bread, fill it with cheese, bake it, eat some, and then throw the rest away, and literally screamed at my mother that she was disrespecting him when she called his music “screamo.”
He and my sister shared a room right next to mine, and at night I could hear him singing to her. Not so bad except he proclaimed that he was incredibly talented and never missed a chance to mention it. The best part about his stay was when he told me that aliens were on Earth, helped build the pyramids, and altered our DNA so that we would evolve faster.
59. The Wok That Broke The Camel’s Back
My wife and I let my sister stay with us after my folks finally kicked her out. She had to be about 18-19 at the time. She was to watch our toddler while we were at work. When we got home, we often had to clean up the kitchen and most of the house because she was a slob who couldn’t be bothered to clean up her messes or our son’s.
It came to a head one day when my wife discovered among all the left-out food and dishes that my sister had browned some ground beef in her brand-new wok using a fork. The wok was scarred and scratched beyond belief. My wife freaked for a second and asked her why she did that. A couple of minutes later, my sister walked up to me in a huff and yelled, “You better talk to that wife of yours.”
She went on for several minutes, calling my wife all kinds of names and threatening what she would do if my wife says anything else to her. She had the nerve to look surprised when I calmly told her to get her stuff because she wasn’t spending another night at our house.
60. An Extremely Awkward Situation
I was in a pretty new relationship when my girlfriend told me she had to leave her apartment. She told me that she had another one lined up but it wouldn’t be available for a week. So, of course, I let her stay with me for that “week.” Two months later, she was still there, living rent-free. That’s when I made a disturbing discovery.
I walked in on her with another guy. I told her she needed to leave immediately. She went and begged the head tenant to let her stay as she had nowhere to go. He asked me if it would be OK and I felt bad to put her out on the street, so I said it would be alright if she rented the spare room. Three weeks later, she still hadn’t paid any rent and the head tenant hit me up for the money.
I told him it wasn’t my problem and offered to help him shift all her belongings out onto the driveway. She found a new place pretty quickly after that and I never heard from her again.
61. Holiday Showdown
I invited a good friend of mine over for an early Christmas dinner one December. We hadn’t seen each other in a few months. I took two days to plan the dinner and went all out making foods she loved. To start things off, she was 45 minutes late, without calling. Normally I wouldn’t care, but when it comes to food—that’s just rude. We ate and had a good time. Then she said, “Oh, hey. I need to call my cousin. Do you mind?”
I shook my head thinking she’d just be a few minutes. Nearly 40 minutes later, she was still on. At one point, she got up to put her boots on while on the phone, then sat at the door. Meanwhile, I was in the kitchen angry and started clearing the table loudly so she could get the hint. She finally hung up without any apology and said, “I have to go now.”
At that point, I didn’t care anymore. I just wanted her to leave. We haven’t seen each other since.
62. Baby On Board
This wasn’t my experience, but my mom’s. One of my dad’s younger cousins moved into my parents’ new house to stay with them until he found some other arrangements. My dad’s a pushover and my mom’s an introvert, so they were totally unprepared for the nightmare that was coming. This jerk eventually made my parents move out of their bedroom to the other room, since he “needed” it for his studies.
That garbage uncle then had his friends over every other weekend. Even when my older brother was born, he did not move out. And then my dad’s younger brother passed, which gave him yet another reason to stay with them. My dad was living a soulless life for a few months after that. Then after four years of this, I was born, and boy oh boy the baby me was a crier.
According to my brother, if my uncle was even within 10 feet of me, I would cry. If I heard his voice, I would cry. Then he finally left the house and has never been in our lives again. I guess I’m a blessing!
63. The Mother Of All Trouble
When our son was born, my mother-in-law came and stayed on our couch for two weeks to “help.” In the two weeks she was there, she did NOTHING to help. Dishes? Laundry? Feedings? NOTHING. And our poor son had real trouble feeding those first few months. My wife couldn’t get him to eat well, and it didn’t help that her mother was there the whole time, staring at us while the baby didn’t eat.
When my mother-in-law saw my wife for the first time after the baby, she said, “Wow, it looks like there’s another baby in there.” Also, my father-in-law wasn’t there to meet his first grandchild because he had a “prior commitment.” It was a Vietnam veterans’ reunion. I wasn’t bothered that he wanted to go to that, because I know how important that group is to vets.
But this is your only daughter and your first grandchild and you can’t skip it just this one year? Anyway, after two weeks, my father-in-law was going to join us, so my mother-in-law baked a pie. FOR HIM. But then again, if he’d been as “helpful” as his wife was, it was better that he was away. Still, that’s why I always said that if we had another one, I’d be on the doorstep barring her from entry until the baby was six months old.
64. Their Stay Left Us Stymied
My cousin and her boyfriend, who were both in their mid-20s, were in between homes. They couldn’t afford to rent anywhere, so my wife and I let them stay for a week. However, the week turned into two months. They took over our downstairs and left it filthy. They let their dogs relieve themselves all over the place, ran the air conditioner at freezing temperatures, and left her Tesla plugged in all day.
I had a $400 power bill and another $400 in carpet cleaning. It was a disaster.
65. Impromptu Partiers
My roommate invited two friends over, who brought another two friends over without asking or mentioning it. Those people, in turn, brought an additional person in. I took off to run an errand. I told them there were some snacks in the fridge and where the chips and salsa were. I was gone for less than 30 minutes. When I got back, what I saw made my blood run cold.
A freshly purchased bottle of high-end booze I had just brought home was 90% consumed. I also found out that about half that crowd was underage and they were now too tipsy to get themselves home. They had parked in my roommate’s wife’s spot and she had work that night. The next day they stumbled out around noon, leaving the place a mess.
Not one of them offered to help clean, and no one offered to replace or compensate us for any of the booze they had during their impromptu party. They were never invited back and the one time one of them tried to “just drop by” with another unwanted guest, they were asked to leave.
66. Locked Out
I agreed to rent an apartment with my younger sister while she was on her road to recovery from substance use, and we all thought she was doing well. I paid for the first month’s rent and deposit, which is standard where I live. She moved in a week early, because I was working the night shift and the whole process started on a Monday.
The weekend I got to move in, I made a sinking discovery. I found out my debit card was locked out because she pilfered it and attempted to withdraw money too many times. It didn’t get any better after that, sadly, and I never even got to spend any time in this apartment.
67. Ladies And Germs
Oh this is a good one. So I had a really old and good friend call me and tell me they needed a place to stay for maybe a few days or a week when I lived in the Pacific Northwest. I of course said yes. Then she told me her girlfriend was coming too. Ok, great. They show up, and when they get to my porch, she tells me her girlfriend has strep throat.
At first I think, “Ok, whatever.” But then I stop and think, “Isn’t that highly contagious?” But they are already here, so I just kind of start thinking to myself that I’ll have to somehow keep them to my spare bedroom and sterilize everything. Only, I’m also wondering why my friend didn’t tell me in advance, or if they don’t know much about the illness.
Like if my girlfriend had strep, I’d go get a hotel and not subject my friend to that. Then came the twist. After about a day, my friend tells me via text she has to leave. At first I’m relieved, but then she asks if her girlfriend can just stay at my place. I don’t know her, and I’ve never met her in my life before. So I had to get greasy about it.
I tell her I have another couple who need to come stay with me (which was true, a little bit) but that I’m also not comfortable housing someone I don’t know who is sick. My friend says that it’s fine, but then when she comes to get her stuff she acts all angry and says snidely, “Well see you sometime, maybe.” After that, I don’t hear from her for a long, long time. It was pretty messed up that she put me in that situation, to be honest.
68. A Series Of Unfortunate Events
I worked the overnight shift. My brother was in town with no place to stay. I didn’t really want him at my place but it was cold out. While I was at work, he had a friend over. They drank a bunch of mini bottles and left them on the living-room floor. He dug through my closet and found two candles that were gifts I had planned on giving. He lit both and never blew them out.
He opened all the windows on one side of the ground floor apartment and turned up the heat. I left him a guest towel, as well as an extra one. I told him to wipe the bathroom floor because it would get slick. He used MY towels instead. I also had a tissue box in every room, but instead, he opened a new roll of toilet paper for said purpose.
I came home to the door ajar, lit candles, the furnace running, windows open, smoke butts and ashes in my non-smoking place. I could easily have been evicted.
69. She Was A Wrong Number
When I had my first apartment, my friend’s older sister lived in the apartment below. The sister and her boyfriend were always fighting, and you could hear them through the floor. During one particularly bad fight, he broke their landline phone. So, she came to my door and asked if she could come inside and use my phone.
I told her she could and to make herself at home. I still can’t get over what she did next. While I was distracted by something, she unplugged my phone and took it down to her apartment. She didn’t give it back for a day and a half. I could hear her inside talking on it when I knocked on the door. Not only that, she just wouldn’t answer the door.
70. With Friends Like These, Who Needs Enemies?
My girlfriend was pregnant and we were taking a little vacation. We let two friends who are brothers use our house while we were gone on the condition that they maintained the yard and garden. First they borrowed the truck, which wasn’t a big deal, but they immediately wrecked it, driving it head-on into a garbage truck somehow.
Then our very best friend stopped by to borrow something and they told her to screw off. They found some hidden cash (maybe $100) and took it. They broke plates. We came home to find a pile of soaking wet towels and linens that had grown mold and all had to be replaced. Believe it or not, they did make an attempt to mow the lawn but somehow broke the lawnmower and then never fixed it or mowed or watered anything and many flowers were withered.
I had been collecting exotic varieties of heliconia there on the Big Island of Hawaii and they were all gone. Some of those flowers were worth $80 or $100. So, we come home from vacation and the boys have vanished without a trace and won’t ever—EVER answer our calls again. We are five months pregnant with no vehicle and a trashed house.
I think the worst part was that we really did think of them as friends, but then they ghosted us like that. Like we were disposable and our pregnancy and our lives didn’t matter.
71. Getting Along Like A House On Fire
A former friend of ours called us and said that her house caught on fire, so naturally we offered her a soft place to land while she was dealing with the fallout. We went and picked her up, brought her home, and got her set up for the night. The next day, she grabbed what she could from her apartment and brought it over to our house.
My wife washed all of her clothes, which by the way smelled the way you’d expect from being in a house fire. Unfortunately, that scent is REALLY hard to get out, so our house smelled of fire for a long time as my wife was washing the clothes multiple times. Eventually, we realized the horrible truth. She was very much not trying at all to get her life back in order.
She also wasn’t helping at all at our house. She apparently just decided that she was going to stay with us and coast, I guess? Ultimately she then started being really critical of anything we did, tried to start drama, and was generally unpleasant to be around. What finally broke the camel’s back was when I returned one day to find her and someone we had never met before sharing a dart on our front porch.
Not really a big deal, but it was odd that she didn’t let us know that she was inviting anyone into our house. The next day I went to take my Adderall that I had just filled and noticed that there were like five left from the prescription. She and her friend helped themselves to my meds! After that, she announced that she was going to stay somewhere where she was “welcome” and said that we could throw the clothes and items away that we had at our house because she didn’t want them anymore.
Apparently, they smelled too much like smoke. But the best came after she moved out. We read a story about the fire in the newspaper, which was about the cause of the fire. Well, our friend had caused it by smoking on the back deck of her apartment and carelessly not putting it out. We never really saw her again; she tried to make contact but we just noped out.
She ended up moving in with some of our other friends. We tried to warn them about her, but they didn’t listen. She ended up almost accidentally starving their dog due to carelessness before being kicked out by them. Yeah, she sucked.
72. All Washed Up
I had a houseguest who was dating my roommate. He didn’t leave for six months. He ate all our cheese and used all our dishwasher tablets on “re-running the dishwasher because it had done a bad job.” Because he was dating my roommate, she undermined all our attempts at getting him to leave once we realized he was a freeloader.
73. He Just Couldn’t Take A Hint
My sister and her best friend at the time were at our house hanging out. It was getting late, so she said he could stay the night and leave first thing in the morning. However, it was the type of offer that you don’t take someone up on, rather the host just says to be polite. He ended up staying for three days regardless of what my sister said to him to get him to leave without being rude.
He didn’t pick up on any hints that we didn’t want him there any longer and that he had overstayed his welcome.
74. He Was Running Me On Empty
I had a friend who became homeless after missing his rent and being evicted, which I didn’t know at the time. I offered him my couch for a few days to sort himself out. He kept leaving the air conditioner and all the lights on while I was at work. He also drank about $500 worth of my booze cabinet, left hairs all over, and never did his laundry. He just left it for me to do. But the final straw was yet to come.
That came when he started eating all of my food for work, which I had specifically told him not to do. I took my key back, locked the door, and told him to pay me about $250 for two weeks of rent, which is how long he stayed. He somehow came up with it and I gave him back his stuff. He then proceeded to leech from other friends for a few weeks before someone bought him a ticket home.
75. Twisted Sister
My sister used to stop over, drink my beer, and take my wife’s clothes. She would make a mess, then leave. We changed the locks so she couldn’t get in. She would then take my parents’ key to get in, so we stopped giving them one and somehow she’d still get in. She was like a darn cockroach. We have since moved far out of her visiting range.
76. Bad Deal
A friend of a friend crashed a party at our house. He proceeded to tell everyone that he was a dealer and that he could get them the best product. He hit on all of the married women who had not brought their husbands, punched the friend who brought him over, and drove home intoxicated and impaired. He is the only person I have banned from my house.
77. Down The Drain
A friend I haven’t seen in a year or so called me last weekend wanting to catch up, so he came over. I didn’t realize he was blackout drinking until he walked in. At that point, I didn’t realize how to defuse the situation. It started with him taking a poop in my bathroom and instead of flushing it, he just put both seats down? He then went into my fridge to grab a craft IPA that I have been saving for a rainy day and drank it.
Went outside and out of nowhere he started ranting about anything and everything. At this point, I told him to get the heck out nicely or calm down, but I also didn’t want him to crash his car home as he lives an hour away. He then said he’s going to go to the store so I offered to drive him. As soon as we’re down the road, he yells at me to pull over because he has to pee.
I told him to just wait three minutes and he takes out his Johnson, puts it into his IPA can, and just pees everywhere and then throws it outside. By this time I’m livid. He grabs my arm to apologize, but his hand was soaked in pee, so he basically just wiped it all over me. I knew I was going to punch him in the face if I didn’t get to the gas station, so once I got there I told him to go inside.
When he went in, I peeled out of there and called his girlfriend, saying she needed to pick him up. I took a shower and an hour later, his girlfriend calls me and says he’s in the backseat of a patrol car because he called 9-1-1 asking for them to sell him substances. Needless to say, that’s the last time I’ll be seeing him. Talk about his true colors.
78. What A Scream!
My roommate’s friend was staying with us. Within a week, they used my food and expensive shower products. Not only that, but they let their child run screaming up and down the hallway for hours without stopping. They even looked at me like I was a weirdo for being out in my own kitchen. I was ecstatic when they finally left.
79. He Chipped Away At My Patience
My mother’s friend and her children went on a vacation with us. We were sitting in the common area of the place we were staying at and started chatting with some strangers there. The friend’s kid got up, walked to the coffee table, and just opened the stranger’s bag of chips and started eating without ever asking first.
His mother did absolutely nothing. She just watched him do it. One of the strangers just paused for a second and said, “Uhh, sure. Feel free to eat some.”
80. Privacy, Please
The husband of my great aunt came to visit us. Mind you, he was like 80-something years old, so he goes to the bathroom to do his business, comes down, and now he smells a little bit. Still, we all brush it aside. Then when he sits down and after a while gets back up to leave, you can see stains on the sofa. Not only that, but my mom then goes upstairs and finds the bathroom full of poop.
A bunch of it was sprayed on the walls, etc. To this day we haven’t spoken about it and that man passed a year ago.
81. Brotherly Love
I was 23 and had just signed a lease for a duplex with my girlfriend. We got new furniture and a new computer, then my brother shows up one with a broken foot and says he can’t work, so he stays with me while. He acts grateful, and I had a spare bedroom that I was using as an office—I can’t really say no. My new computer was in the room.
Welp, he downloaded so many adult files that it crashed the hard drive. Like, we had to wipe the hard drive and reinstall Windows. I put a parental block on the computer after that. He finally got a job and pretty much spent all his money on substances and partying. I would ask him to pitch in money for food and bills, and he would be totally delusional, saying he gave $500 last week.
I think I got $100 from him in the six months he was there. He got messed up on pills and passed out and peed himself on my brand new couch, then he tried to fight me when I yelled at him and told him he had to pay for it to get cleaned. I told him to get out at that point—but that was just the beginning of the nightmare. He would send threatening messages to me saying how he was going to hurt me. The worst part was, my mom took his side during all of this.
82. He Was Nothing But A Heartache
My cousin moved in with my grandparents. Things started off well. However, after about a month, he stopped doing his laundry and picking up his room. All he would do is work part-time and play video games until late at night. Then it all fell apart. He quit his job for another, then subsequently got fired from that one, and found another as a food delivery driver.
Even though he was working, he wasn’t helping my grandparents with any of the bills. Not only that but he was often gone during both the day and night, which made them worry. A few weeks passed, and he admitted to my grandfather that his “working” was actually him staying in the parking lot near their condo, just close enough to have the WIFI reach his phone for him to use it.
My grandparents were upset, as they were seeing him dig a deep hole for himself. My cousin would also text my brother and me pretty frequently to see if we could spot him a couple of hundred dollars, saying that he would pay us back. Knowing he never would, we never gave him a cent. Months passed and he met a girl online. Finally, it looked like things might change. He decided to move in with her.
He asked my grandparents if he could take their guest bedroom set to furnish the apartment where he and the girl were going to stay. He then went MIA for a couple of months. He showed up at my door out of nowhere and told us he was living about two and a half hours away. But, that didn’t last long. The next thing I knew, he was back home, back to square one.
The saddest part about all of it was that he sold the bedroom set my grandparents gave him, never paid them a cent for all of their troubles, and never gave them a thank you or an apology for giving them the unnecessary heartache he gave them. My grandfather still talks about my cousin with sadness in his eyes for what he put them through.
83. She Was A Relative Nightmare
When I was about eight years old, we had an aunt come stay with us for a short amount of time. My parents let her stay in my bedroom. She decided on day two that she wanted to “help me decorate” and basically turned my bedroom into her own room. She took me shopping and denied every single thing I picked out. I figured I could change it when she was gone, so I didn’t make a big deal over it.
A couple of days later, I came home from school and all my stuffed animals were gone. I had a collection of about a hundred stuffed animals. When she told me she had thrown them out, I lost it. I went off on her and told her to get out of my house while crying frantically. My dad made his only sister go find a hotel for the last bit of her vacation. I haven’t seen her since.
84. This Situation Stunk
When I was renting an apartment, my roommate had their girlfriend stay over every day for two months. She would take a two-hour bath and would never flush the toilet, as she was “saving water.” She also would cook without cleaning up and her food was always terrible, and she refused to use any hygiene products. When they finally broke up, she had the audacity to ask us to let her live there because her parents had kicked her out.
85. Cake Anyone?
This couple sat down at the table with a cake that had not been served yet. They each took a fork and started to eat it. They were not cutting the cake into a piece for themselves, but rather going back and forth with forks to mouths and back to cake, smacking and slurping. Needless to say, no one else wanted any cake after that, and I did not have them over again.
86. Bender Relations
A “friend” asked to stay with me for a few days because she was having relationship problems. Turns out, the real story was a doozy. The “relationship problems” were all due to the fact she had a massive habit and her boyfriend was fed up with her spending all their money on it. The first night she invited five people who I didn’t know to come over after I’d gone to bed and I had to work the next day.
Then she disappeared for three days and I had her boyfriend calling me worried sick and nobody knew where she was. When she finally turned up, she called me a bad friend for not covering for her.
87. He Dung Ditched Us
I had a friend who came over, used the bathroom, and clogged the toilet. He panicked. He got poo everywhere—EVERYWHERE. It was on the floor, sink, walls, you name it. There was more stuff out of the toilet than in it. He came out after using the bathroom and said he had to leave. My mom made my dad clean it—she wasn’t about to mess with that situation.
88. Rise And Shine
My mother’s sister would usually come in very early in the morning. She wasn’t a quiet person. She would be in the basement, talking to my grandmother. However, she wasn’t talking, she would pretty much be shouting the whole time. Therefore, if you happen to be asleep at 8 AM, on a Saturday after working the night shift, when she would come in, you would be awake in about five minutes.
89. The Moonshine Did Him In
I had a friend who was a big guy that could hold his booze—he said he was from the Appalachians. I had another friend from there that gave me some peach moonshine. I didn’t touch the stuff myself but gave it to my friend in the mason jar. Not only did he throw up the entire way from the porch, down the hallway MISSING the bathroom, but, he knocked everything over that was in his path. Then he passed out, leaving me to clean up.
90. Thanks For Nothing
So my paternal aunt came to “visit” my father, who was in the hospital. She stepped off the bus with her husband, went to see my dad for an hour, then crashed at our home for a week and never went to see him again. Both of them (she and her husband) won’t do anything to help my mom or me. My mom had to take care of everything, prepare food for them, then go visit my father, come back, and cook again for them.
Those jerks took over our living room and would spend all day watching television without interacting with others, leaving lights and fans on, and doors open everywhere they go. Her husband used every item in the bathroom and grime dup everything—soap, razor, trimmer, he even used my TOOTHBRUSH. After a week of free vacation, they then demanded I drop them off at the bus station.
I was very sick myself at that time and we didn’t own a car, so I had to drop them off one by one at the station…on my bike. If I had owned a car back then, I definitely would have dropped them off at their home 160 km away, for free.
91. Make Yourself At Home
My brother-in-law needed a place to stay after his divorce, and my wife and I were going traveling for 6+ months. Huge mistake. He moved his girlfriend in, ran up bills, moved his dog in (we don’t like dogs and explicitly said no dogs). He completely ignored a roof leak and let it get worse even though he’s a carpenter. He broke pots, taps, and he and his girlfriend tried to order things on Alexa but didn’t realize I’d protected myself from that once he’d added them to the basket. Finally, he didn’t clean…..ever.
92. I Couldn’t Sink My Teeth Into This One
A relative and his second wife were staying at my place for a month. She came down with the flu and was bedridden. However, she joined the rest of us for dinner in the evenings. While she would be sitting there with the rest of us, she would start flossing her teeth—every night. As if flicking her oral debris everywhere wasn’t bad enough, she would sit in the living room blowing her nose and piling her used tissues on my $10,000 leather couch.
93. Gettin’ Busy Bodies
My fiancée invited her friend over for the weekend and she ended up bringing her boyfriend with her. They ended up staying for two weeks. During the first few days, they would go to the bathroom and “shower,” except their showers lasted about an hour. They were quite obviously doing the deed but left the shower running the whole time trying to cover the sound of her moaning and their bodies slapping together.
The second time they did this we told them we knew what they were doing and they could continue to do so only if they were willing to pay the extra amount for the water bill for running their “showers”. However, this caused them to just start randomly doing it whenever we left the room. One day, we were making them dinner in the kitchen and there was a little window where you could see into the living room.
I heard a noise and looked in to see the duvet moving up and down in a way that was obvious what they were doing. My fiancée and I just stood in the kitchen waiting for them to finish and then they complained the food was cold. Towards the end of the second week, I went to pick up my fiancée from work and we came back to see them both in their birthday suits on our sofa.
They saw us come in and didn’t stop, just carried on. It was at that point we asked them to leave. Needless to say, my fiancée was not friends with them after that.
94. Taking a Step Down
My wife’s friends had stayed over after a party because they lived pretty far away. The next morning, I was in the kitchen making coffee when one of the friends silently shuffled by in nothing but their underwear. It turns out that in her drunken state, she was unable to find the bathrooms and decided to just poop on my floor under the staircase. We never spoke to these friends again.
95. Leaving A Memorable Impression
I once walked in on my roommate getting his posterior brutalized by his parents. Yes folks, you read that right. I walked in on my college-age roommate getting disciplined by his parents for not having his stuff packed up on move-out day. Here’s the full story: It was move-out day and my roommate was working on a paper last minute.
I was packing my stuff. His parents walked in and were absolutely enraged that he wasn’t packed yet. They immediately started scolding him while I was still in the room, but thankfully I had a final to go to and figured I’d dodge the storm. I said my goodbyes, assuming they’d be gone by the time I got back from my two-hour final and went on my way.
As it happened, my final only took 20 minutes, so I got back much sooner than they’d have expected. I opened the door and saw my roommate bent over his bed with his bare behind showing, just as his mom wound up for a spank. I slammed the door shut as quickly as I possibly could. I went over to a friend’s dorm and helped her pack for a while until I felt safe enough to return. I never brought it up to him after that.
96. Clean And Clear And Out Of Control
My uncle and his wife came to stay for a while. They got my room and I slept on the couch for a few months, which is no big deal when you’re a kid I guess. What actually ticked me off is that when they finally left, we opened the door and walked into a horror. They’d seriously messed up my room. Everything reeked, there were ground-up peanut shells in the carpet, ash burns on my mattress, etc…
We couldn’t figure out why the room smelled like an abattoir until we lifted up the bed and found mummified cat poop stuck up in the shag carpeting. They either had such bad hygiene that they didn’t notice the smell or they knew and they just didn’t care.
97. Their Stay Went Viral
We had some good friends stay at our house while we were out of town for the holidays. We came home to a clean house, maybe cleaner than we left it. Two nights later, our toddler woke up and couldn’t stop throwing up. We took her to the emergency room. She stabilized after about five hours or so, just enough time to ring in the New Year under the fluorescent lights.
But then, things for weirder. A few days after, I started feeling like I had a kidney stone or something. I had pain at first, then fever and chills started up. I ended up going to the emergency room as well. I had a bunch of tests done, multiple IV bags of fluid, etc. They hadn’t figured out what was wrong when my wife called saying she wasn’t feeling well either. I knew it all had to be connected.
After about a week or so, we were all better, so we went on with our lives. About a month later, we were recounting our illness events to a mutual friend. That’s when we finally learned what had really happened. He said, “Oh, wasn’t that right around the time our friend was in town? We never got to see them because they all had Norovirus that week.”
That sure explained the number of sheets that were changed at the house and a couple of not quite dry spots on the bedroom carpet. A heads up before we got home would have been appreciated.
98. Future Serial Killer Alert
I was a kid, probably 9 or 10, and my mom had a friend and her son over for lunch. The kid disappeared for about 10 minutes, and at the time I thought he had gone to the bathroom because I really had to go. So when he came back I quickly maneuvered my way past him into the room before the bathroom, where we had a fish tank.
This would be completely irrelevant if the fish tank wasn’t cloudy and swirling about. At first glance, I didn’t know what it was, until I noticed smashed and ripped apart pieces of little fish faces moving around in the swirl. The kid had reached into the fish tank and squeezed the ever-loving life out of every single fish in that tank.
99. Make Yourself Less At Home
Asked a couple, who are friends of my BF, to watch my home for a little less than two weeks. I left my home sparkling clean, fridge packed full of their favorite goodies, movie tickets, gift certificates, bottles of beer and wine, and my car to use as they pleased (since neither of them have their own car or live on their own). Upon returning home around 10:00 p.m., after 20+ hours of flights and traveling…I found a scene out of a horror movie.
The house was filthy. The floor was covered in dirt. Counters were crammed with stuff as if they pulled everything out from the cabinets and left them. Beer bottles were left empty on every surface. Pistachio nut shells were thrown on the floor and left strewn on my bedside table and bedroom dresser. And I’m just getting started…
Their dirty underwear was just left on the bathroom floor. The kitchen sink was FILLED with nearly all of my dishes, which had been used and left dirty. Most of my Tupperware was now in the fridge filled with their leftover food. My patio furniture was pulled into my bedroom and used as a game set-up with my bedroom TV moved to a different spot. Still not the worst part…
They left “love oil” on my nightstand. They somehow broke my washing machine. They threw out all of my “chemical” cleaning supplies and replaced them with “organic cleaning supplies” (aka vinegar and water). When we got into my apartment, they said, “Wow it’s so weird to have you here. It’s like this was OUR house, and now it’s yours.” Like, GIRL this was always my freaking house. How could you forget that so quickly?!
They seemed in no rush to leave. They sat in the living room and opened up some beer. I didn’t rush them out. I also did not bother to help them clean up their huge mess. I was exhausted and fell asleep on the couch while my boyfriend awkwardly made small talk and unwillingly hung out. The next morning, I finally thought it was all over—then the girlfriend sent me an insane text just to twist the knife. She says she thought it was disgusting and rude of me not to wear a bra when I fell asleep (implying that I was trying to turn her boyfriend on).
First of all, I was wearing a friggin’ bra. Also, if I didn’t want to wear a bra to go to bed, I don’t need to because I’m in my own freaking house. There are so many more things they did that irritated me. These are just a few I can remember right off the bat.
100. The Creepiest Staycation
There was an older woman who checked in my second week of being there, she definitely should not have been independent. She lived in town and booked a room for a week. She said that she was getting her house renovated because it was infested with “fiberglass.” She was probably in her 70s. She would walk around with one of those surgical masks and wore yellow rubber gloves.
As the week went on, she started to wear bandages on her arms—we think she was scratching herself, I bet if we asked it would have been because of the fiberglass. She shouldn’t have been able to drive. but she kept going to and from her house to get more things, basically was moving in. Our hotel was on a main road, and she would just back up into it without looking.
It was a miracle she never got into an accident. But other than that, she would spend most of her time in the room, and occasionally would walk to the office and just spout crazy stories about fiberglass and how it was everywhere and all over her room. Once the week was up she extended her stay another five days because her house wasn’t ready yet.
She repeatedly declined maid service so we could never really get a glance of the condition of the room, yet she would keep complaining that her air-conditioning had “fiberglass all over it.” One of the days, she came to the door complaining that the room was infested with spiders and she showed a tissue that she said had “spiders in it,” but there was nothing.
Like really sad stuff. Unfortunately, since we didn’t really have any real way of helping her, my boss advised me to tell her that we are booked solid for the rest of the summer, etc., so she couldn’t extend her stay any longer. We waited out those last few days dealing with her complaining and occasionally catching glances at the room as the maids brought her towels and such.
From what we saw there were pillows everywhere, a big bag of like perfumes, pills, etc. sprawled out on the dresser (like sooo many random things), etc. She was seen a few times carrying large garbage bags into the room we weren’t sure what was in them. Just imagine a room that a mentally ill person had been staying in.
She also had a few weird interactions with guests that made them complain, so we really could not wait until she was gone. But this is the freakiest part, where we get to the answer to what we found after a guest’s stay: IT WAS SPOTLESS. On her last night, we think she climbed out the window (first floor) and put stuff in her car and left—stealing the key too, but that’s common enough, we just replace them.
We went back and looked on camera and she was not on camera leaving at all, and the night manager did not see her leave. If you leave the regular way, you have to be seen by the manager, the office is in the front and it’s a small hotel. The only way she could have done it was through the window. Every worker at the hotel was so curious to see what the room was like after she was gone.
It was insane, clean, with nothing broken except the air conditioner air filter (the one she’d said had fiberglass all in it). Other than that not much else. We still had a third party clean the room, but it was freaking weird man. My boss said she drove by the address and it was a beautiful house that must have cost a couple million, minimum, and there was like a metal trailer in the driveway.
We think she started living in that after the hotel. Sad, and just so, so bizarre. I really hope she got some help or something. There really wasn’t much we or I specifically could do, so we had to just move on.