NOT Welcome: Horrible Houseguests

As Ben Franklin once said, “Guests, like fish, begin to smell after three days.” But when it comes to these legendarily horrible houseguests, we’re pretty sure we’d be throwing them out within the hour. Here, Redditors share their most ridiculous stories about the behavior of the worst houseguests they ever let in the door.


1. Thanks But No Thanks

I reconnected with a friend who was moving back to town. There was a live outdoor music event going on that evening and I invited her over before my friends and I went to the event. She asked if I could pick her up. Once she was at my house, we were all having a few drinks, and she disappears. I find her in the kitchen, and my jaw dropped.

She literally has EVERYTHING out of my fridge and is cooking. When I say everything: I had just gone to the store and gotten fresh veggies, chicken breasts, ground beef. I was stocked up for a week or two. I ask her what she’s doing, and she tells me that she’s been a chef at some fancy restaurant for a while and wants to cook dinner for everyone.

First off: What the heck?? But although I’m annoyed, the food is already being cooked so I might as well get a meal out of it than get in a fight. Well, cue a few moments later when she gashes her finger open with a knife. Blood everywhere, including all over the food on the stove. Once I get her finger wrapped up, she asks me (and I quote): “Do you have a sewing kit? I’ll fix this right up.”

No is the obvious answer to that. I notice that she has gotten some blood on her dress and mention that to her. She asks me to take her home so she can change before we leave. Immediate “yes.” (I’m hoping I can ditch her there). As I’m driving her across town, she calls her mom and chews the poor woman out. Yelling at her to get a bucket of water and baking soda ready to soak the dress.

We finally get to her house and she could sense what I was thinking. She asks if I’d wait for her to change and she’d only be a moment. The second she shuts the door to my truck, I pull off. It escalated so fast. Seeing me do it, she then jumps on my hood and starts screaming about the two tallboy Bud Lights that she left at my house and that I’m a thief.

I finally get her off the hood of the truck and simply tell her she’s not invited, she destroyed ALL my food for over a week, and I never wanted to talk to her again. By the way: The food she was cooking looked and smelled terrible. She was not a chef, and she was not a good cook. I ended up cleaning up when I got home and whatever she was making was going to be uneatable, just a cross mix of chicken, beef, and every spice from my cupboard.

Think of a 10-year-kid unattended in the kitchen “making dinner.”

29CFR1910

2. This Is A Meet-Cute, Right?

I lived in a two-unit house, and we were the back unit that connected to a shared garage. The garage was used for nothing other than laundry and storage, and a previous tenant had left a mattress in it that no one ever bothered to move. One day I, a 20-year-old-woman, go into the garage and nearly jump out of my skin upon seeing some man sleeping on the mattress.

I freak out and flee back to my unit just in time for two of my male housemates to come home. They go to confront the guy and come back to tell me that he was friends with our other male housemate, and said housemate told him that he could crash in the garage as he was “in between leases for a few days”…without bothering to inform the rest of us.

Despite this jerk move by my roommate, I offered to let the guy sleep on my living room couch instead of some sketchy mattress in the crummy garage. Except a few days turned into a few weeks/months. I, the administrator of our utilities and rent payments, demanded that he chip in at this point. He agreed, but I was moving out soon because I finished a term early.

The couch and Wi-Fi router were mine and I was leaving them behind to pick up at the end of the year as a favor to my housemates. He shorted me a few hundred dollars (a large sum to a broke college kid) after I left. Another housemate ended up having to pay for this guest because I was about to go reclaim my couch and router if I didn’t get my money.

A year later, the guest had the audacity to text me to ask if he could “take me out” the next time I came into town. Yuck.

ElysianReverie21

3. Rotten To The Core

I went on a weeklong trip up the east coast when I was younger with my boyfriend at the time. It was a Tuesday-Tuesday trip. At the time we went, I had my “friend” staying with us because they fell on some hard times. It had been around a month and everything was going great, so we decided to ask them to watch the house for the week as we had three dogs.

We pretty much told them to take the car, do whatever, have some alone time, get a little vacation from the very tragic event that happened in their life and we would pay for their food as they did not have a job—but JUST TAKE CARE OF THE DOGS. I’m sure you can sadly see where this is going. Well, we decided to get home one day early and I’m not sure if it was a blessing or luck or just whatever.

When we got home, I noticed that the car I had purchased just that month had side-swiped a yellow pole of some sort. So, naturally, I’m fuming already. I come up and open the door to three random guys on the couch, all making a mess in my RENTED townhouse. The hardwood floor had random spots all over it, some covered in towels, and there was now a baby/doggie gate up, blocking all three dogs in the kitchen who were just almost screaming instead of barking at the excitement of seeing us.

Immediately, I threw everyone out before even walking around further in the house. Of course, my “friend” used this opportunity to get out with the people while I was not paying attention and running around in a frenzy. She must have had a bag packed, like she was going to leave just before we came back anyways. When I say the house was destroyed, I mean it was disgusting.

We came to find out that all of the spots on the hardwood floor in the living room were dry spots of dog pee that weren’t cleaned up and caused the floors to ripple up. Under the towels throughout the house was wet dog pee that was just left to dry on its own. I assume they were so angry at the dogs peeing in the house, that now the dogs were left and gated off in the kitchen for what looked like the entire weekend.

Walking into the kitchen, the piles/puddles of dog poop and pee were ABUNDANT. I had two full-size Dobermans, and those things ate like horses and pooped like them too. The miniature pinscher, well, you never even really noticed when she went to the bathroom, but still, not the point. The grout in the kitchen reeked of dog pee for months.

There was so much of it that it flowed together in a huge pile, made a literal 6-foot long creek of dog pee where I guess the tile sloped, and leaked behind the stove and absorbed in the freaking drywall behind the stove.

AND—the WORST part, one of the Dobermans ended up with a UTI!!!! We noticed it because within the puddles of pee in the kitchen, there were pink puddles. I freaking cried for hours holding my dogs. The cosmetic list just kept growing. But, I wasn’t angry about my belongings or the townhouse, really, but the utter *neglect* and disrespect for my animals that DEPEND on me/humans in general to take care of them!! It disgusted me to my core.

I felt their personalities shift a bit around anyone who ever came over after that. It was heartbreaking. My dogs were literally sleeping in their own pee and poop the entire weekend, at minimum. It was clear they were not taken care of at all and I was never able to go on another trip without taking them because I was afraid they would be neglected and I would come home to them gone, no matter who watched them!

I don’t know if they ever ate or what. I can’t honestly say they were ever let out. It was hands down the worst experience ever, and the one and only time I ever had a houseguest or someone watch my animals. She left some of her belongings and I threw every single thing she left away. It was never worth trying to get her to pay for anything because, well, she didn’t have a job and I probably would have blacked out from sheer anger if we ever crossed paths again.

xenobitee

4. The Hosts With The Most (Problems)

In my case, I was a houseguest and the hosts were the worst. I stayed in a home with three other girls while we did work for the church. While it was very generous of the host family to have us…They sold Amway, so we had to sit through a sales pitch one night. We slept in the basement on the floor, which was carpeted but infested with fleas from their numerous dogs.

One night for entertainment, we made balls of dog hair and watched to see how many fleas hopped on it. Answer: A lot. When they were finished cooking a meal, they left any leftovers in the pan until the next meal and then they just heated them up. So last night’s burger had been sitting on the stove for 24 hours, reheated and served again. Is that even a thing?!

Wide_Ocelot

5. I Wash Myself With A Rag On A Stick

I lived in a 1 bedroom, 1 bath with my then-boyfriend. He begged to let his best friend stay with us while he gets on his feet, since he was moving from several states away. My boyfriend explained that he had some interpersonal issues like anxiety and told me how he was a bit traumatized from an involuntary stay at a mental health ward as a teen but was otherwise harmless.

He was a lump and did nothing for a couple months. But I don’t know why I let him stay after learning about his special rag. A few days after he’s living there, I ask my boyfriend what’s up with the rag draped on the side of the tub, because it looks and smells gross. My boyfriend goes beet red and storms out. He then starts yelling at the friend.

“You freaking promised this wasn’t going to be an issue again!” This is how I learned this guy has a single rag he used to wipe his butt after pooping. He didn’t want more than that single disgusting rag, and he cleaned it by running hot water through it and ringing it out to dry. No soap because those unneeded chemicals could damage his precious butt.

Remembering the smell made me vomit when my boyfriend explained all this to me. I don’t know what they worked out after that. I never saw the rag again and I didn’t ask because I was scared of the answer. As disgusting as that was, it wasn’t evil or dangerous. But the last straw came after months of him doing nothing but playing our gaming systems.

One day, he used my game pre-order codes (back when they gave you stuff for that) while I was at work. Sounds petty, but we were both so done at that point. Honestly, I’m still angry about it as I was never able to get that gear from my favorite franchise at the time. His hygiene and smell was the worst, but he also didn’t cook, clean, or pay towards anything.

tepidCourage

6. Get A Room

I had a friend from college who used to invite herself to visit one or two times a year. It got to the point where I would dread these visits because my friend would complain about everything. Things like, “When you move again, can you find an apartment with a sink with only one handle? This current setup sucks.” She’d also brag about money, plus we had somewhat grown apart at this point, so the visits were sometimes awkward.

I was starting to feel like I was being used as a hotel since I live in Chicago. On her most recent (and last) visit, I firmly told her she had to get a hotel room. I had moved into a studio and did not even have a couch for her to sleep on. We were 29 at the time. I am an assistant and she is a pharmacist. We were out for drinks and she said, “I just think it’s so wild how I live in this huge, new beautiful home and you basically live in a tiny room.”

PSA: For the love of God, never invite yourself to stay with people, be it friends or family. Let them invite you. You might think you are welcome, but it is entirely possible that your “host” is just being polite and feels like she/he cannot say no. I recently reached out to this friend to wish her a happy birthday and her response was, “Thank you! Let’s plan a visit soon!”

the_coolest_chelle

7. Girls Trip

A high school buddy of mine called to ask if his late-teens daughter and her two friends could stay at our house for a night, as they were traveling around the world. Of course, we said, and we even gave them our master bedroom and master bath, so they could clean up and spoil themselves. Not to brag, but we have an awesome setup, and those two rooms are about 700 sq ft.

Shortly after seeing their new digs, they announced that they were staying for six days…actually assuming we’d let them have our room the entire time. We said, “Uhhhhh….no….one night of fun, then down to the basement” (which is still pretty nice). They left the next morning while were out, didn’t say thank you, took a bunch of snack food, and made us sound like horrible hosts to my buddy. The entitlement was laughable.

Marlowebabe

8. If The Shoe Fits

My friend who came over one day has a known foot odor problem. I’ve known this friend for more than 20 years, and every time he comes over, I tell him to take his boots off outside and leave them on the porch instead of taking them off inside and leaving them by the door. I just got a new deep freezer, the big chest kind with a flip-up lid, and he took his boots off and put them in my brand new, empty freezer.

Apparently he did this because he saw a post on Facebook about how foot odor is caused by bacteria and that if you freeze your shoes, it will kill all the bacteria, thus eliminating your foot odor problem. I opened my freezer and nearly passed out from the smell. Best part was, he took his boots out and for about three minutes, they did smell okay, so he was ecstatic…but not for long.

As everyone knows, you pour a cold drink and within minutes you have condensation running down the side of your glass. Well, his boots were super cold and after about three or four minutes, water vapor started condensing alllllllll over his boots. They were SOAKING wet inside and out and stunk even worse. He ended up throwing them away that day.

austin0matic

9. The Company You Keep

My now ex-boyfriend’s buddy took over our bedroom. Like, I came home from work to find him on our bed with his dirty socks on our pillows as he was on his computer. He would constantly sit in between my boyfriend and I, would eat on the couch or in our bed and leave crumbs, and if I attempted to talk to my boyfriend, he would immediately interrupt me to say something.

If we went to go out for anything he would invite himself along and sit in the front seat, no matter whether I was driving or my boyfriend was. He would then leave trash all over our car. But there was a kicker. He brought his girlfriend around too, and we later found out she was a minor—he was 19, she was 15. Not cool. I sometimes think the best part of our breakup was not dealing with that friend anymore.

Spazztastic85

10. Noodle Head

I was seven months pregnant with my second child, and we hit a period of severe financial hardship, like eating buttered noodles every meal because that was all we could afford. I made sure my daughter ate properly, but I didn’t. I saved for two months (seriously) and then bought myself a $7 steak because I was seriously craving meat.

I came home after work to cook that steak up, and my “friend” who we let stay there for a week because she “had nowhere to go” was eating it!!!! She knew how poor we were. Her excuse??? “It is inhumane to make a grown adult eat nothing but buttered noodles.” I grabbed her clothes, threw them outside, and told her to LEAVE.

tdlm40

11. Clowning Around

The clown that wouldn’t leave. It’s become family legend. My mother hired a clown for my brother’s second or third birthday party. My mother made the mistake of offering her a cup of coffee after she was done performing and she seemed to take that as a cue to stay for a while. Hours pass. The party guests are long gone and the clown is still there drinking the coffee chatting with my mother, still in full makeup and her outfit.

She ended up staying the entire day until my mom got fed up and told her she had to go because she had to prepare dinner.

abestosSNDWICH

12. New Sister, Same Problems

I had my mom take a DNA test because we had a sneaking suspicion that her father wasn’t actually her father. It turned out to be true. She got into contact with some family members who were related to her biological father and found out she had a long-lost sister. My mother already has a sister who is, for the lack of a better term, a leech.

So we were sort of hoping her newly found sibling would be better than her current one. Needless to say, that wasn’t the case. She was just as bad, if not worse. She and my mother made plans to travel across the USA to finally meet, and that involved her staying at my mom’s house. When she arrived, we found out immediately that her health was extremely bad, far worse than what she alluded to and that she essentially needed someone assisting her 24/7 to do everything…and I mean EVERYTHING.

My parents pretty much turned into full-time nursing home workers in their own house having to help this lady. She practically demanded attention 24/7, was constantly raiding our pantry and my parent’s wallet. She knew about this trip to meet for over a year, and she only saved up like $125.00 to last her the ENTIRE MONTH! That was it.

The really bad part is that my mother doesn’t set boundaries and is very giving, so it’s easy for people to take advantage of her. Well, her new sister did just that. She was constantly asking for money and having my mom buy her stuff. Within the first 10 minutes of meeting her, she forgot her walker at the airport that is two hours away from where we live.

Like, how do you forget a walker when you need it to get around? She made my mom drive all the way, a four-hour round trip, plus traffic, to get her walker. She also couldn’t use our shower because she has to sit while washing herself (she didn’t tell us this) so my mom has to set up appointments at Wal-Mart to have her hair washed at the hair salon every other day. AND MY MOM HAS TO PAY FOR IT.

slayer_gems

13. We’ve Got Aunts

My aunt came to visit for what was supposed to be a week or two…and didn’t leave for almost a year when I was a kid. But then she took it to the next level. She redecorated my room and even put up pictures of herself. Now the running joke in my family is to randomly leave pictures of ourselves around the house when we visit people.

slams-head-on-desk

14. House Sitting Or House Squatting?

My sister-in-law housesat for us this one time when we were out of town. There were tons of disrespectful presents left for us—for example, a cookie crumb trail of condom wrappers, which led to an actual used condom. But the worst was after cleaning all that up, which was merely aggravating and stupid, there was a putrid smell coming from somewhere.

I couldn’t put my finger on the source, until I finally opened a drawer in the dresser in the guest room. She had left an entire takeout container in there, and there was half an omelette that had gone rancid. I have to hope she just had to go quickly and forgot all that stuff was there when she left. Either way, though, we took our key back from her.

Billbaprno

15. It’s Not Me, It’s You

My old roommate told me that she had a friend who had fallen on rough times and needed a spot to crash for a while. No worries, I told her. Oooh, big worries. As it turned out, he was a professional beatboxer, but more than that he was a professional smoker. Like, I’m fine with weed generally, but this dude was on 12-15 blunts a day, and would roll one as soon as he rolled his tighty whitey clad butt off of our couch.

So for like four months, as soon as I woke up, it was nothing but clouds of white owl and “BRRRRMMMCHKCHK-FRKAFRKACHCKABRRRRMMM.” He didn’t fall on rough times. He WAS a rough time.

whitebabyjesus

16. Puppy Hate

This couple came for a weekend to my small apartment…and I was quite surprised that they brought three dogs and an extra friend. The puppy took a dump on my floor in the night, which nobody got up to clean. The other dog had a crate but managed to get a hold of a carpet outside of the crate, drag it in, and shred it. They also chewed up cardboard and wooden furniture. When they left, all the shredded stuff was just where it fell.

neon_dave

17. Show Some Respect

I ran into a guy I used to call a friend and let him stay with me for a while as he was down on his luck. I guess we’d run out of toilet paper one day, so he used a washcloth. Ok. Except…he left it at the side of the toilet. I kicked him out after that and found out later he walked away with some of my CDs. Well, some mutual friends let him stay with them, against my advice.

They came home one day to find him passed out on the couch with his pants around his ankles. After they kicked him out, they found out he’d racked up $900 in phone charges to escorts. Screw you, Nole. You always were and always will be a piece of trash.

whose_this_chucker

18. Baby On Board

This wasn’t my experience, but my mom’s. One of my dad’s younger cousins moved into my parents’ new house to stay with them until he found some other arrangements. My dad’s a pushover and my mom’s an introvert, so they were totally unprepared for the nightmare that was coming. This jerk eventually made my parents move out of their bedroom to the other room, since he “needed” it for his studies.

That garbage uncle then had his friends over every other weekend. Even when my older brother was born, he did not move out. And then my dad’s younger brother passed, which gave him yet another reason to stay with them. My dad was living a soulless life for a few months after that. Then after four years of this, I was born, and boy oh boy the baby me was a crier.

According to my brother, if my uncle was even within 10 feet of me, I would cry. If I heard his voice, I would cry. Then he finally left the house and has never been in our lives again. I guess I’m a blessing!

MeNoEnglishhhh

19. The Mother Of All Trouble

When our son was born, my mother-in-law came and stayed on our couch for two weeks to “help.” In the two weeks she was there, she did NOTHING to help. Dishes? Laundry? Feedings? NOTHING. And our poor son had real trouble feeding those first few months. My wife couldn’t get him to eat well, and it didn’t help that her mother was there the whole time, staring at us while the baby didn’t eat.

When my mother-in-law saw my wife for the first time after the baby, she said, “Wow, it looks like there’s another baby in there.” Also, my father-in-law wasn’t there to meet his first grandchild because he had a “prior commitment.” It was a Vietnam veterans’ reunion. I wasn’t bothered that he wanted to go to that, because I know how important that group is to vets.

But this is your only daughter and your first grandchild and you can’t skip it just this one year? Anyway, after two weeks, my father-in-law was going to join us, so my mother-in-law baked a pie. FOR HIM. But then again, if he’d been as “helpful” as his wife was, it was better that he was away. Still, that’s why I always said that if we had another one, I’d be on the doorstep barring her from entry until the baby was six months old.

edgarpickle

20. Locked Out

I agreed to rent an apartment with my younger sister while she was on her road to recovery from substance use, and we all thought she was doing well. I paid for the first month’s rent and deposit, which is standard where I live. She moved in a week early, because I was working the night shift and the whole process started on a Monday.

The weekend I got to move in, I made a sinking discovery. I found out my debit card was locked out because she pilfered it and attempted to withdraw money too many times. It didn’t get any better after that, sadly, and I never even got to spend any time in this apartment.

FunInvetiable5213

21. Ladies And Germs

Oh this is a good one. So I had a really old and good friend call me and tell me they needed a place to stay for maybe a few days or a week when I lived in the Pacific Northwest. I of course said yes. Then she told me her girlfriend was coming too. Ok, great. They show up, and when they get to my porch, she tells me her girlfriend has strep throat.

At first I think, “Ok, whatever.” But then I stop and think, “Isn’t that highly contagious?” But they are already here, so I just kind of start thinking to myself that I’ll have to somehow keep them to my spare bedroom and sterilize everything. Only, I’m also wondering why my friend didn’t tell me in advance, or if they don’t know much about the illness.

Like if my girlfriend had strep, I’d go get a hotel and not subject my friend to that. Then came the twist. After about a day, my friend tells me via text she has to leave. At first I’m relieved, but then she asks if her girlfriend can just stay at my place. I don’t know her, and I’ve never met her in my life before. So I had to get greasy about it.

I tell her I have another couple who need to come stay with me (which was true, a little bit) but that I’m also not comfortable housing someone I don’t know who is sick. My friend says that it’s fine, but then when she comes to get her stuff she acts all angry and says snidely, “Well see you sometime, maybe.” After that, I don’t hear from her for a long, long time. It was pretty messed up that she put me in that situation, to be honest.

Powerful_Artist

22. With Friends Like These, Who Needs Enemies?

My girlfriend was pregnant and we were taking a little vacation. We let two friends who are brothers use our house while we were gone on the condition that they maintained the yard and garden. First they borrowed the truck, which wasn’t a big deal, but they immediately wrecked it, driving it head-on into a garbage truck somehow.

Then our very best friend stopped by to borrow something and they told her to screw off. They found some hidden cash (maybe $100) and took it. They broke plates. We came home to find a pile of soaking wet towels and linens that had grown mold and all had to be replaced. Believe it or not, they did make an attempt to mow the lawn but somehow broke the lawnmower and then never fixed it or mowed or watered anything and many flowers were withered.

I had been collecting exotic varieties of heliconia there on the Big Island of Hawaii and they were all gone. Some of those flowers were worth $80 or $100. So, we come home from vacation and the boys have vanished without a trace and won’t ever—EVER answer our calls again. We are five months pregnant with no vehicle and a trashed house.

I think the worst part was that we really did think of them as friends, but then they ghosted us like that. Like we were disposable and our pregnancy and our lives didn’t matter.

traindodger

23. Getting Along Like A House On Fire

A former friend of ours called us and said that her house caught on fire, so naturally we offered her a soft place to land while she was dealing with the fallout. We went and picked her up, brought her home, and got her set up for the night. The next day, she grabbed what she could from her apartment and brought it over to our house.

My wife washed all of her clothes, which by the way smelled the way you’d expect from being in a house fire. Unfortunately, that scent is REALLY hard to get out, so our house smelled of fire for a long time as my wife was washing the clothes multiple times. Eventually, we realized the horrible truth. She was very much not trying at all to get her life back in order.

She also wasn’t helping at all at our house. She apparently just decided that she was going to stay with us and coast, I guess? Ultimately she then started being really critical of anything we did, tried to start drama, and was generally unpleasant to be around. What finally broke the camel’s back was when I returned one day to find her and someone we had never met before sharing a dart on our front porch.

Not really a big deal, but it was odd that she didn’t let us know that she was inviting anyone into our house. The next day I went to take my Adderall that I had just filled and noticed that there were like five left from the prescription. She and her friend helped themselves to my meds! After that, she announced that she was going to stay somewhere where she was “welcome” and said that we could throw the clothes and items away that we had at our house because she didn’t want them anymore.

Apparently, they smelled too much like smoke. But the best came after she moved out. We read a story about the fire in the newspaper, which was about the cause of the fire. Well, our friend had caused it by smoking on the back deck of her apartment and carelessly not putting it out. We never really saw her again; she tried to make contact but we just noped out.

She ended up moving in with some of our other friends. We tried to warn them about her, but they didn’t listen. She ended up almost accidentally starving their dog due to carelessness before being kicked out by them. Yeah, she sucked.

W0rk3rB

24. Down The Drain

A friend I haven’t seen in a year or so called me last weekend wanting to catch up, so he came over. I didn’t realize he was blackout drinking until he walked in. At that point, I didn’t realize how to defuse the situation. It started with him taking a poop in my bathroom and instead of flushing it, he just put both seats down? He then went into my fridge to grab a craft IPA that I have been saving for a rainy day and drank it.

Went outside and out of nowhere he started ranting about anything and everything. At this point, I told him to get the heck out nicely or calm down, but I also didn’t want him to crash his car home as he lives an hour away. He then said he’s going to go to the store so I offered to drive him. As soon as we’re down the road, he yells at me to pull over because he has to pee.

I told him to just wait three minutes and he takes out his Johnson, puts it into his IPA can, and just pees everywhere and then throws it outside. By this time I’m livid. He grabs my arm to apologize, but his hand was soaked in pee, so he basically just wiped it all over me. I knew I was going to punch him in the face if I didn’t get to the gas station, so once I got there I told him to go inside.

When he went in, I peeled out of there and called his girlfriend, saying she needed to pick him up. I took a shower and an hour later, his girlfriend calls me and says he’s in the backseat of a patrol car because he called 9-1-1 asking for them to sell him substances. Needless to say, that’s the last time I’ll be seeing him. Talk about his true colors.

Worldly-Turn

25. Privacy, Please

The husband of my great aunt came to visit us. Mind you, he was like 80-something years old, so he goes to the bathroom to do his business, comes down, and now he smells a little bit. Still, we all brush it aside. Then when he sits down and after a while gets back up to leave, you can see stains on the sofa. Not only that, but my mom then goes upstairs and finds the bathroom full of poop.

A bunch of it was sprayed on the walls, etc. To this day we haven’t spoken about it and that man passed a year ago.

Aioli_Tough

26. Brotherly Love

I was 23 and had just signed a lease for a duplex with my girlfriend. We got new furniture and a new computer, then my brother shows up one with a broken foot and says he can’t work, so he stays with me while. He acts grateful, and I had a spare bedroom that I was using as an office—I can’t really say no. My new computer was in the room.

Welp, he downloaded so many adult files that it crashed the hard drive. Like, we had to wipe the hard drive and reinstall Windows. I put a parental block on the computer after that. He finally got a job and pretty much spent all his money on substances and partying. I would ask him to pitch in money for food and bills, and he would be totally delusional, saying he gave $500 last week.

I think I got $100 from him in the six months he was there. He got messed up on pills and passed out and peed himself on my brand new couch, then he tried to fight me when I yelled at him and told him he had to pay for it to get cleaned. I told him to get out at that point—but that was just the beginning of the nightmare. He would send threatening messages to me saying how he was going to hurt me. The worst part was, my mom took his side during all of this.

ATXKLIPHURD

27. Thanks For Nothing

So my paternal aunt came to “visit” my father, who was in the hospital. She stepped off the bus with her husband, went to see my dad for an hour, then crashed at our home for a week and never went to see him again. Both of them (she and her husband) won’t do anything to help my mom or me. My mom had to take care of everything, prepare food for them, then go visit my father, come back, and cook again for them.

Those jerks took over our living room and would spend all day watching television without interacting with others, leaving lights and fans on, and doors open everywhere they go. Her husband used every item in the bathroom and grime dup everything—soap, razor, trimmer, he even used my TOOTHBRUSH. After a week of free vacation, they then demanded I drop them off at the bus station.

I was very sick myself at that time and we didn’t own a car, so I had to drop them off one by one at the station…on my bike. If I had owned a car back then, I definitely would have dropped them off at their home 160 km away, for free.

Emergency_Slice2487

28. Make Yourself At Home

My brother-in-law needed a place to stay after his divorce, and my wife and I were going traveling for 6+ months. Huge mistake. He moved his girlfriend in, ran up bills, moved his dog in (we don’t like dogs and explicitly said no dogs). He completely ignored a roof leak and let it get worse even though he’s a carpenter. He broke pots, taps, and he and his girlfriend tried to order things on Alexa but didn’t realize I’d protected myself from that once he’d added them to the basket. Finally, he didn’t clean…..ever.

ILikeItUnlessIDont

29. Take A Picture, It’ll Last Longer

My parents hosted a guy from another state who played on the same sports team as my brother for a year, though the dude was the same age as me. He basically stayed in his room the whole time he wasn’t at school or practice for the sport. Like, the door was always closed, to the point where he wouldn’t let anyone in to clean, even just vacuuming, the entire year.

An important point: This dude had allergies or something—we didn’t have pets or even use scented candles that would cause allergies—and he was always sniffing and then hawking loogies. My family thought he was using tissues for that while in his room. Nope. Giant loogy pile among other…fluids all over the carpet and walls when we finally went in.

The room had to be professionally cleaned after he left because of how gross it was. Then came the chilling piece de resistance. Early in the year when he was over, a picture of my friend and I was missing from my room. I thought the friend had taken it the last time she was over because it was a cute picture of us. Well, we also found it in a drawer in his room. Also covered in those same other fluids. It grosses me out to even think about it.

nannerdooodle

30. Caught Red-Handed

My roommate started seeing a guy who didn’t have a car and lived in the town over, which was about a 20-minute drive away. She would pick him up from his house and bring him to ours, but she didn’t always want to drive him home the next morning because she would have to work early. This quickly turned into him staying at our apartment full time, despite protests from my second roommate and I.

After about two weeks, I noticed over $100 was missing from my wallet. He and I were the only two in our apartment all day. My wallet had been in my bedroom while I was watching TV in the living room. He’d been locked away in her room all day, but I also can’t see down the hall that led to all of our bedrooms from the living room.

So it was easy to figure out that he had snuck down the hall and gotten into my wallet. But she refused to believe me. I kept my bedroom door locked for a while and kept my valuables inside until I was able to get a camera set up. Then I left my door unlocked one day with a small amount of cash in my wallet in front of the camera to lure him.

It worked like a charm and I got him on camera taking stuff from me again. Showing them the video got my roommate to believe me, but he still tried to deny it. He got dumped and kicked out, but I lost about $150 that I never saw again.

jazzylovely714

31. You Are What You Eat

My cousin and her kid, who was 18 years old, came to stay in our apartment because the kid needed a psychiatrist evaluation and treatment. The city they lived in didn’t have a facility for it, but ours did. My cousin said they would stay for about three weeks, and we said yeah, anything to help. They ended up staying for more than four months.

During this time, they didn’t put in a single penny for groceries, took showers that lasted for ages, left the heat running, lights on in every room, just wasteful all around. In my family we don’t have dinner, just some tea and bread, but she and her kid NEEDED to have dinner, so she would sometimes take the food I had set up for lunch for the next day and give it to her kid.

This kid, by the way, had the appetite of a monster, so a lot of times I would rush in the morning to assemble the lunch packs and discover there was nothing left. If there wasn’t any food ready, my cousin would just take whatever she wanted from the fridge and prepare it. Fancy steak we were saving for the weekend? Gone. She even gave the kid HALF of my sister’s birthday cheesecake BEFORE the party.

romidwife

32. Party Pooper

We were having a family BBQ and this gong show of a woman, Joanie, shows up. She’s the alcoholic girlfriend of a guy who my dad and uncle worked with and were friends with. We already knew she had a knack for ruining a good time and being a party pooper, so we decided to tell her we were all getting ready to leave and go to my grandparents so she had to leave.

She says she needs to use the restroom, so we wait and then pile into my mom’s van and drive down the street and circle back. We arrive back and my Uncle Kelly goes to use the restroom and immediately comes out and says what the heck, man. It was like a horror movie in there. She had pooped everywhere, smeared it everywhere, and then put her filthy panties in the sink and rolled out like it was nothing.

We didn’t see her for a few years and then ran into her at the bank. While there, she loudly apologized for pooping all over our restroom. We never saw her again.

menace-to-sobriety

33. Kick You When You’re Down

I let my buddy live with me rent-free after I got him a job. When my brother had a traumatic brain injury and I had a week to decide if my brother was going to live or not, this is when my buddy started whining that he had to smoke in the garage and not the house. Then he proceeded to go to work (where I also worked) and talk about me and my personal life to anyone who would listen.

He did this while I was on medical leave to take care of my dying brother.

ButtsTooBigForDoggy

34. Snitches Get Witches

My aunt is going through a divorce after she’d been cheating on her husband for years. She comes to stay at her sister’s place, AKA my mom’s, while “coping.” This psycho witch drank nearly every drop of drink we had, left the fridge open and ruined a month’s worth of groceries, fell down our stairs and left a massive dent in the wall, and to cap it off, got in her car while drinking and pulled out before we could stop her, hit my car, and sped off.

My mom begged us to not call the authorities. Yeah no, I flipped on that witch immediately.

spehizle

35. It’s Getting Hot In Here

I had a friend from college over for the weekend as he was visiting the area. On Sunday night when he was supposed to drive back to his place, he had one too many drinks before leaving. This was in the middle of a brutally cold winter, mind you, and the roads in our area were already terrible to drive at the moment due to the weather.

So not wanting him to drive, I offered to let him crash for another night. I also pointed out that the roads might be better in the morning, too. He thought about it and agreed. So after another round or two, we both headed off to our beds around 10:30 pm. At 1 am I wake up to my house’s heat on full blast. Like, drenched in sweat under my blankets hot.

I get up to turn the temperature down, wondering what the heck is going on, and notice my front door just sitting open. The porch and hall light were on, as if advertising it to the world or anyone who may drive by. He’s gone and so are the rest of my drinks. My calls went straight to his voicemail. I saw him once or twice after that and he acted as if nothing had happened. Maybe he blacked out and doesn’t remember? But regardless, never again.

CrazyBoy2413

36. Double Or Nothing

I think it was me who was the horrible houseguest. I went to a friend’s house after a day of drinking once and promptly fell asleep on their sofa. I woke up in the middle of the night, disoriented, and fell butt-first into their glass coffee table, smashing it. I wish that was the end of it, but it wasn’t. I then threw up all over their sofa. I have never felt so ashamed in my life.

To be honest, they were really good about it and I obviously paid to fix the table and have the sofa cleaned professionally.

JaHizzey

37. Four’s Company

I had a college friend and her husband stay with us after my husband and I got married…like, literally the day after we got married. She asked when she got the wedding invite if it would be ok to stay with us since it would be tough for them to come otherwise. I wanted her to be at the wedding and we had stayed with them a few times when we were visiting back east, so I felt like we kind of owed it to them.

My husband had to work a couple days the week after anyways (new job at a new company) so we figured what the heck. They stayed with us for three days and it felt like a month. They complained about everything…how expensive everything was, the traffic, how small our house was, the food. We let them borrow our car for day trips and they complained about how outdated it was.

We went out to eat with them a couple of times and they treated the servers like garbage. They also expected us to pay for everything because they were our “guests.” The straw that broke the camel’s back was when they had a 6 am flight back to Pennsylvania and didn’t want to spend the $40 for an Uber ride to the airport. So they asked me if I wouldn’t mind taking them to the airport at 3:30 in the morning.

I said “screw it” because I wanted them out and I knew I would never see them again after that. Lesson learned.

Flimflamidy

38. Honest To A Fault

This woman I met on Match drove from South Carolina to Ohio to stay at my place for Labor Day weekend. She seemed normal, until I found out one extremely bizarre habit. Every time she took a poop, which was twice a day, she used an entire roll of toilet paper. And let me be clear, she did not use a lot of toilet paper; she used all the toilet paper.

The first night, she just stared at me, and stared, and repeatedly said things like, “God you’re gorgeous” (I am average-looking) and telling me all the things she wanted to do to me. Finally, just to shut her up, I initiated intimacy. As I was about to go in, she looks me right in the eyes and says in a demon’s gravelly voice, “If you put anything in my butt I will literally kill you.”

We did not sleep together that night, or any night. She then asked me to give her advanced warning of when I’d be going to bed. “Why?” I asked her. This is when she revealed that she is bipolar and would “literally never sleep” if she didn’t take her meds an hour before bedtime. It didn’t matter. I woke up alone—and hopeful that she had left. Nope.

Turns out she (in her own words) “stood naked in front of the living room window all night, sobbing.” I live in a second-floor apartment in front of a sidewalk. You’re welcome, neighbors! The second day was me trying to avoid her in my own apartment and her posting updates to Facebook during her two-hour-long poops and post-poop wiping.

“I’m okay, still alive!” was one such post. I asked her to leave that afternoon and she did, but when she got back to South Carolina she sent me an email asking if we didn’t sleep together all weekend because I’m gay? I assured her that I’m as straight as the day is long, but that I don’t usually prefer to have intimacy under the duress of physical threats. Then I dug the knife in.

I added that after realizing how much toilet paper she used that no one would ever want to go near her butt, anyway. Her final email reply said she respected my being brutally honest with her.

Blue_Swirling_Bunny

39. Revenge Of The Jocks

I had a very swole, extremely intimidating, and hostile roommate one year. I’m a very non-confrontational introvert, so it was inherently stressful, but I made it through the year laying low as much as I could. On move-out he takes my nice bike, which he knew was something I used daily and took care of. I wasn’t 100% sure it was him, maybe it just disappeared the exact day he moved out…

But then the same day he blocked me on anything I could contact him through. It felt like his last way of being a jerk and picking on me. Screw him.

spreadzer0

40. Just Passing Through

I was doing an extended dog-sitting for my in-laws while they were on a 45-day tour of Africa. Three weeks into the dog sitting, my father-in-law’s cousin, his new trophy wife, and his four kids showed up unexpectedly at their house and asked to stay overnight on their way back home from wherever they had been. We could not reach our in-laws in Africa, and my husband knew this cousin pretty well, so we decided to let them stay with us.

Instead of cooking for eight people with zero advanced notice, we opted to go out, and they asked if we could get sushi. At the end of the meal, the cousin’s wife says, “Thank you for taking us out, we can rarely afford sushi for the six of us, so this was a real treat.” I said, “Uh, what? We didn’t offer to pay for you, and if we were expected to, we would have gone somewhere less expensive.”

My husband paid the $400 bill to avoid conflict, but I will never go out to eat with that side of his family again. Also, their kids took every single Lightning cable and charging brick they could find. Little jerks.

fgirt

41. Crowded House

My sister is…a card. No one in my family makes the best decisions, I admit. But my sister would easily win the yearly family award for bad decisions. So one day, she asked if she could come up to Iowa from Texas for a few weeks, a month at most. Now, I live with my mother. My dad had pretty advanced cancer before he went into the night.

My mom’s got early-onset dementia. I pleaded with my mom that if my sister asked to stay, we would firmly decline. Big surprise, my sister didn’t bother to outright ask or make plans. She just asked my mom how would she feel about her showing up for a bit. Four days later, surprise! She lives here now along with her five-year-old son.

At this point, we have four people in a two-bedroom house. She takes over my mother’s room and displaces her into a backroom with no heating in the middle of winter. She refuses to pay a single bill or lift a finger for chores. She applied for food stamps, put all of our names on it without our permission, then throws a huge fit if we ask for her to use them for anyone but herself.

She gets her pain medications at the start of the month, which just so happens to be the only time she has “narcolepsy” until she runs out of them. At which point she demands rides to the hospital to scam them for more medications. I catch her taking jewelry. She’s barely taking care of her son, my nephew, and she treats our mother like garbage because of an “all my problems are your fault” mentality.

This went on for 18 months until I had enough and got the authorities involved. I had her stuff put on the curb so she couldn’t take what wasn’t hers. Handed her $500 for the trip back south and told her to get out and never return.

splatterking01

42. Big Only Child Energy

My ex!!! I let him stay with me for a couple of nights after we had only been seeing each other for a couple months. It ruined our relationship. I dumped him after the second night. He literally ate all my food and didn’t buy anything, left skid marks in the toilet twice, threw a cloth down the toilet which you can’t flush…I have no idea why he did this.

He asked me to buy him a Deliveroo as it’s easier to apparently pay by cash, even though he earns over $100k a year. He didn’t wash up, never offered to make me a drink or help with anything. Used up all the hot water…He said my bed was uncomfortable, made fun of the movies and series I watched on Netflix. I couldn’t believe how selfish and disgusting he was.

I snapped at him and he genuinely didn’t understand why I was mad. He called me cruel and selfish. Now he’s somebody else’s problem.

DaisyFayeLove

43. Leggo My Lego

My mother’s cousin. Her husband and son came from India to come see all the family, and I think they spent about a week with us before moving onto their next stop. The son was about my age at the time, I reckon about eight years old, but he was a little jerk. Years later, my dad told me he wanted to throttle him a few times. Me trying to be polite, after a talking to from my dad about how we treat guests, was doing my best to get along with him.

We were playing on the PS1 when he says he needs to go to the toilet, so I pause and wait. After about five minutes, I’m thinking OK maybe he’s gone for a poop. After 10 minutes, I’m thinking, darn, this kid can poop! After 15 minutes, I’m told to go see if he’s OK. I walk up the stairs and see the bathroom door is wide open, so I call his name. His reply surprised me.

His response comes from my room. Oh God, I think. I dart in and this fool has got every LEGO aeroplane, car, truck and transformer from my LEGO airbase that I must have spent at least six weeks building. They’re all in one hand and he’s got them all stacked together. As I open the door and see him, he pauses, looks me right in the eye, and crashes all the models into the ground, destroying all my hard work.

Many people would probably say I should let this go with it just being about LEGO, but no! Screw that little jerk.

deepus

44. Wild Night

My family and I were going on a trip and told a family friend he could crash at our house while we were gone. Nonetheless, my parents said he would have to take care of things and pay for his own food and such. Halfway through our trip, we get a call from the authorities. Apparently, he threw a huge party and trashed the house, then proceeded to take one of our cars and drive it through the front of the house, totaling the car and collapsing most of the front wall.

This was last week. We had to cut our trip short and come home to deal with this. We are currently in the process of pressing charges.

Permalink

45. Easy Ultimatum

This guest let my new very old, very deaf foster dog out of the gate on purpose, and the dog took off up the street. He just stood there smirking while I grabbed my shoes and keys. After I shouted at him for being a moron, he told me that it was for the best and maybe I should focus my time on other things. I eventually caught up to the terrified and exhausted dog and brought her back home, then told my guest to pack his bags and get out.

ComfyInDots

46. Turn On The Waterworks

My brother’s girlfriend took a two-hour shower with the shower curtain outside of the tub and flooded our upstairs bathroom. The water eventually started pouring out from the light fixtures in our kitchen. She was not the least bit embarrassed about this.

wildabeastest

47. Family Feud

I had surgery and was on bed rest for a week. I asked my cousin, who was living with me at the time, to keep an eye on me while I was on heavy pain medication. I stayed on the couch and let her use my bedroom because my couch was close to the bathroom. When I recovered, I found used hair weave piled up on clean towels in the bathroom cabinet and a douche nozzle behind my nightstand.

There was trash piled all the way up the wall in the kitchen, dirty dishes everywhere, a plate of rancid food in the microwave, ketchup and mustard smeared on the floors, and she had taken a bunch of clothing and CDs along with one of my iPhone chargers (she had a Windows phone). Finally, she had poked a hole in my $2,500 mattress. I kicked her out immediately.

Jedi_Among_Sith

48. Clean And Clear And Out Of Control

My uncle and his wife came to stay for a while. They got my room and I slept on the couch for a few months, which is no big deal when you’re a kid I guess. What actually ticked me off is that when they finally left, we opened the door and walked into a horror.  They’d seriously messed up my room. Everything reeked, there were ground-up peanut shells in the carpet, ash burns on my mattress, etc…

We couldn’t figure out why the room smelled like an abattoir until we lifted up the bed and found mummified cat poop stuck up in the shag carpeting. They either had such bad hygiene that they didn’t notice the smell or they knew and they just didn’t care.

SquilliamFancySon95

49. Play It Cool, Man

This is how my brother’s friend was barred from the house forever. He cranked my dad’s speakers up to the max and blew them; they were from the 70s, so impossible to replace or repair. Then he clogged our toilet and grabbed a bunch of my grandma’s quilts to sop up the water. When that didn’t work, he then tried to stop the water by violently shaking the tank, cracking the bowl and dislodging it from its base.

In a panic, he tried to bolt from the house, but his wet feet slipped on the wood floor and he crashed into a wall, leaving a nice body-sized impression.

F0000r

50. Dog Days Of Summer

We had a house-sitter once who wanted to bring their own dog for the week. They assured us the dog was well-behaved and housetrained. This was a pretty close friend, and their house is nice and clean, so we believed them. We came home to find every rug in our house destroyed. The house smelled funky when we walked in, and I immediately found wet spots on our living room rug.

I lifted it up and it had more stained areas than not. Same with the kitchen, hallway, bedroom, and guestroom rugs. I’m guessing this dog didn’t pee outside a single time it was there. This was someone we paid to watch our house. As turned out, their house was all hardwood and had a dog door. I guess the dog just let itself out? Or maybe it does pee inside and they clean it up?

Maybe the dog was freaked out in a new place? I honestly have no idea. I didn’t confront them, though. We had a lot going on at that point in our lives, and I just felt it was best to silently sever the relationship and learn an expensive lesson. We were planning a cross-state move and a wedding at the time, so I really couldn’t handle much more.

All of the small rugs went through the wash, but the living room rug went right into the dumpster it was so bad.

SpicyWonderBread

Sources: 1, 2


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