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Burn Out My Eyes: Horrifying Sights That Can’t Be Unseen

Mathew Burke

There are some horrifying sights that can never be unseen. These unfortunate people had to learn this the hard way. Naked relatives. Gruesome accidents. Disgusting bathroom mishaps. Some experiences are so disturbing, they stay burned in our memories forever. So why can’t we look away?


1. Beware the Two-Way Mirror

I was once in a meeting in my client’s boardroom. The boardroom was at ground level and the exterior glass was mirrored on the outside, but see-through from the inside. In the middle of the meeting, some sketchy looking dude comes over on the other side of the glass and starts picking his teeth in the mirror.

Then, he looks left, looks right, sees that he has privacy, and scars us for life. He decides to whip out his private parts to start intensely inspecting them in the mirror. It looked as if he was checking for pimples or something of that nature. My client just got up, walked directly over to the glass, and gave a little rap on the window in front of him. He immediately pulled his pants up and walked away.

DrunkenGolfer

2. Some Mysteries Are Better Left Unsolved…

I was sitting in traffic and minding my own business when I suddenly looked over into the car next to me and saw a guy vigorously scratching his private area. Like getting into every crevice. He then takes his hands out, smells his fingers, and recoils at the odor. Then, he sticks those fingers in his mouth and closes his eyes like it was the sweetest taste since sliced bread.

I honked and got his attention, breaking him out of his trance. He looked at me and I mouthed the words “Why man? Why?” He returned my gaze, gave me this satisfied smile, and just drove away.

This was about four years ago. He was a normal looking fellow, but I still think about that man more than I would like to. What does he do for a living? Does he have a family? Do they know? Who is this man? I guess I’ll never find out…

Neato_Orpheus

3. Caught in a Compromising Position

My Dad walked in on me squatting over the business end of a hairdryer. I’d not long got out the shower and wanted to blast my gooch with warms. So there I was, naked, with my back to my bedroom door, hovering over the hairdryer. I didn’t hear Dad walk in due to the hairdryer. He just yelled “BUSTED!” and walked out.

Mikchi

4. Hair Raising Behavior

There was this odd fellow student at my old school who I once saw spit onto his hands and then wipe down his leg hair when he thought that no one was looking. I’m not exactly sure what his goal was or what he was trying to accomplish by doing that, but something tells me he’d be pretty embarrassed if he realized I had seen him in action…

NippyFlips

5. Something to Make Your Eyes Pop

A former coworker of mine had bad acne all over his face and neck. While I was sitting in my forklift waiting for pallets to come up the line one morning, I watched him pop a pimple on his neck. I thought it couldn’t get grosser, but I was so, so wrong. After he popped it, I watched him eat it.

He clearly thought that no one was looking, and he would probably be devastated if he ever realized that I had seen this. It was a horrifying sight to behold.

thewhitedevil42

6. That Didn’t Come in Handy

One night, I was sleeping next to my then-boyfriend and woke up because he moved. I opened my eyes without saying anything, and watched him scratch his butt with the same hand that he had been hugging me with, then proceed to smell his fingers. He then put his arm back around me again, and moved his hand very close to my face. It suddenly had this…butt smell. You all know what I’m talking about. Ugh…

Anninu

7. Whip It Real Good

He was on a hair trigger, and would easily snap and threaten people. Suspended multiple times. Two memorable incidents were when he freaked out at an art teacher. After he got mad, he went to his locker and came back with a bullwhip. He made that thing SNAP and sent everyone running, while the teacher barricaded herself in the supply room.

Another time someone made the mistake of teasing him about something and everyone laughed, and he pulled a knife and screamed “Who wants to be the first to die?!” He was expelled and I’m not sure what ever became of him. If I had to guess, though, I don’t think his life turned out all that well once he became an adult…

huckleberryjam1972

8. Nothing Can Come Between This Man and His Burger

I once watched some guy drop his cheeseburger on the ground, look around to see if anyone was watching, and then pick it up, put it all back together again, and bite into it. This was outside on the grass, too; so who knows how much dirt and garbage got into it. And the worst part? This was at a free company buffet thing, so the guy could have just gotten another one for free!

stoner_97

9. An Image Aisle Never Forget

I was sitting at the end of a racking aisle at the grocery store where I work. All of a sudden, a guy comes around the corner, pulls down his pants, flicks on a rubber glove, and sticks some kind of pill into his behind. I don’t know what was worse, having an old man’s privates swaying to and fro right in front of me, or the soulless grimace on his face while he was in full swing.

I saw the whole show from no further than five meters away. I froze in place, as I didn’t want him to spot me and try to give me an explanation that I didn’t need or care to hear.

tronaldbont

10. The Great Outdoors

Back when I was still living with my mom, she once had one of her friends come up for the week with her son. There wasn’t enough room in the house for them to stay inside, so they decided to camp out in the backyard. Now, I was working in construction at the time, and had to get up pretty early to get ready.

One morning, while I was putting my lunch together, I looked out the kitchen window to see my mom’s friend squatting over a plastic bag, taking a poop into it right there out in the open. It was without a doubt one of the most disgusting things that I’ve ever seen. Then, she proceeded to walk inside the house with her bag of fresh poop to get rid of it.

She stopped dead in her tracks with a look of horror on her face when she realized that I was up and watching the whole thing. To this day, there’s one thing I can’t understand: if her plan was to come inside to get rid of it anyway, then why couldn’t she just walk inside and use the fully functional toilet in the first place? You know, to just cut out the whole squatting over a plastic bag in the middle of a field bit…

Ohoulihan25

11. Sitting in a Tree

This is still a traumatic memory to this day. One day, I decided to take a walk to this park near my house. I took a book to read and figured I’d enjoy a summer evening. So, I find my favorite tree to hide out in, and climb up to a comfy position high up in the branches. A couple of minutes later, I see some guy walking by in the park down below.

Well, clearly nature called him at that exact moment. Without noticing that there was someone sitting in the tree right above him, this man pulled down his pants and took a massive stinking poop on the ground. He then pulled up his pants without wiping and walked off as if it was all cool. So, I’m now stuck sitting there in the tree, having seen it all, realizing that I will have to climb down somehow with a massive human poop sitting right where I was going to land.

Marlowe12

Embarrassing Moments FactsShutterstock

12. Blinded By The Light

I was very small, around four, and we were on holiday in Italy. My Mom was sitting behind me on the steps, and I remember thinking the sun from behind her was really bright because I could see a sharp shadow in front of me. But then I thought that that couldn’t be right; the sun was in front of me. I looked back and there was a figure standing behind my Mom, person-sized, but the outline of the body was kind of blurred.

Its face was pure yellow light, and looking at it was like looking into the sun. It was such a strange and surreal experience, and I remember it vividly even now that I’m almost 30. At the time, I just said, “There’s someone behind you,” and when my Mom looked back, it was gone.

SomewhereExternal

13. Cleanliness Stings

My aunt’s friend set up a nanny cam because she noticed that every time she changed her child’s diaper the child would start crying a lot more than usual. Turns out when they watched the nanny change her diaper, she would use Clorox wipes if they were nearby instead of grabbing the baby wipes. They fired the nanny immediately and the father became a stay at home dad.

calcifyon

14. A Technical Ghost

One night, when my brother was just watching Youtube videos on his computer in his room, he decided to go downstairs to grab a glass of water. He says that he remembers specifically what he was watching and it was apparently some videos about waterslides. He swore that the search bar said: “the world’s longest waterslides.”

He went downstairs to the kitchen, got himself some water and headed back upstairs. However, when he got back in his room, his blood ran cold. He looked at his computer, and the video about waterslides that he had originally clicked on was gone. Instead, there was a video playing of some ghost stuff and the search bar now said: “creepiest ghosts caught on camera.”

FlyingLime05

15. You Could Say He Was Yellow-Bellied

Mustard Boy. I’ll never forget him. He would cover his lunch tray in mustard. Chicken nuggets? Mustard. Mexican pizza? Mustard. Breakfast for lunch? Mustard. It didn’t matter what it was, he would drench it in sweet, yellow mustard. He wasn’t doing it to just to make a mess of his lunch tray, either: he always finished his mustard-food.

brooklynbelle274

16. Goes Down Smooth

I had it set up while me, my husband and kids went away for a few days to visit family. I had a friend of mine (who was a recovering alcoholic and staying with us to help get straight) watch our house and take care of our dogs. I felt like it was a simple enough task. There was zero alcohol in our house and she had no car.

The closest store was like 10 miles away, and her mom was her only contact in town if she needed help. She definitely wouldn’t get her alcohol. We are about two days into our trip. I text my friend to see if everything is going well. Hours go by with no reply. I try calling her several times and she won’t pick up.

Her sister calls me worried that she can’t get ahold of my friend, either. So, I turn on my nanny cam to see what’s going on. She’s laying on my couch with nothing on but a tank top and my front door is wide open! I can talk through the camera and tried talking to her, but she was unresponsive. I can see that she is breathing, though.

I call my uncle to go over to my house to check on her and find my dogs. I can see on the camera when my uncle gets there. He tries to shake her awake, but she just groans and won’t talk. He throws a blanket over her and finds my dogs locked in the laundry room with poop everywhere. And my dog chewed up the hose on my new Dyson, I was pretty mad.

My uncle hangs around awhile until she wakes up and has no clue what happened. He asks her how she got so messed up—and I still can’t quite believe her answer. She drank a bunch of mouth wash!!!!! Don’t underestimate addicts. I’d like to say though that she’s been sober a year and employed and getting her life on track now. So that’s good at least.

okaykitty

17. Friendly Ghost

My brother and I were home alone one night watching TV. My mother was working a night shift and my father was out. When he came home, he pushed the door ajar and poked his head through to say hello. We both turned around and said hello back, then he closed the door. 30 seconds after that, another man opened the door to say hello.

He was pale and had bright white hair; we assumed a friend of my father had come back to the house too. We both turned around again and said hello back, and the man closed the door. About five minutes later, I headed into the kitchen where my father was making dinner. I was expecting to see his friend again, but I saw that he was alone making dinner and assumed his friend was upstairs in the bathroom.

I asked my father who his friend was. “What friend?” I mentioned the man we had seen. He looked at me like I was crazy. He said, “I came back home on my own.”

ZPM89

18. Stand Your Ground

I worked at a haunted house. Once, when looking down the hall, I saw a figure. It was an all-black, somewhat transparent silhouette of a human, standing motionless in front of me. I stayed at the hall entrance, called my boss over, and asked her to look down the hall. I didn’t give any indication that I saw anything so that I wouldn’t give her a false impression.

I wanted to figure out if I was crazy or not. When she looked, her expression turned into pure, cold fear. “Who the heck is that?! I can see through him!” And before I could say anything more, it came full sprint at us. My boss screamed and ran away, but I was curious about what it would do, so I stayed. It got right up to my face and just stopped, inches away from my nose, and then suddenly dissipated into thin air.

I still occasionally see my boss, and she confirms every time that we saw the same thing, and thinks I was an idiot for staying.

MadBunch

19. A Murder of Crows

My mother used to work part-time as a substitute lunch monitor at a school that was near our house. She used to commute to the school by walking nearly the entire length of a massive cemetery. She would travel from its Northeast corner to the school near its Southwest corner. During one of her commutes, she found the entire ground completely covered with crows.

They were everywhere, as far as she could see. My mom didn’t think too much of it, as they mostly just hopped out of her way as she walked down the path. What she didn’t think about until later was the fact that not a single one of them was making a sound.

Eternity_Incarnate

20. Hidden Valley or Newman’s Own?

This kid used to drink cups of ranch dressing at lunch…and nothing else. He would have 15-20 of those little ketchup cups loaded on his tray and he’d start slurping it down. Pretty sure he had some kind of mental disability so I don’t want to rag on him too hard, but just watching him do that every day turned me off of ranch for a few years.

Zirkelcock

21. Grandma Walks a Thin Line

When I’m home from college I babysit for these pretty wealthy people. At the time of this story, the boys I would babysit were about two years old and nine months old. It was summer and I had laid the younger one down for a nap, then took the monitor out with me to the backyard so the two-year-old could play.

I hear the sound going off and see arms reaching into the crib to the sleeping baby. I grabbed the two-year-old, a knife, and slowly walked upstairs. Their grandma had come to see if I needed any help, but didn’t have my number so she didn’t text me she was there. We laughed about it but never have I ever been so ready to shank someone.

foolsdayeveryday

22. Curiosity Caught the Crooks

Not me, but a coworker. It was not actually nanny cams per se. She has three cats and apparently while she was at work, they were damaging things in the house. She set up the cameras to find out which cat was the culprit, and how it could be stopped. Well, before she was able to figure that out, something much, much worse happened. She actually WATCHED as three men broke into her house.

Now, she could not call 9-1-1 because she lives in a different state than she worked in. The 9-1-1 centers had no way to hand calls off to each other. She got lucky! Another coworker happened to live at the opposite end of the same county as she did. He was closer to my age and lived there before there was 9-1-1.

Just like me, growing up his parents made him memorize his county’s seven-digit emergency dispatch number. Luckily, his county had left that number active so that employees and other departments had a way to call directly into the dispatch center. He rattled off that number and she dialed it. VOILA!!! It got into her county’s dispatch center.

She was able to talk to the authorities and tell them not just what the guys looked like, but which room they were in and where they were crouched down. They were detained without incident, although all three had pieces on them. All property was recovered not only from her house, but from two other houses on the same street. They got long prison sentences. And it all started with one really bratty cat!

gkiltz

23. Watching the Clock

When I was a toddler, I went from fairly chubby to very skinny in a matter of weeks. My parents were worried that I was sick, and when they asked our nanny, she said, “Everything is fine.” A few days later, they decided to install a camera to see what was wrong—and they couldn’t believe what they discovered. Keep in mind that after lunchtime, she would let me nap and then go home (that was the deal).

It turns out that she would feed me a few bites and then throw my food away so she could leave earlier. I was too young to make anything of it. This was all caught on camera, and she was fired the next day.

lemonadebunny

24. Not to Dump All This on You

Not me but my mom—this was when I was around eight years old. I went to bed, and I’d always had the habit of going to the toilet in my sleep. Half sleepwalking to the toilet, taking a poop/pee, and moving back to bed with the very vaguest knowledge of what happened the next morning. One night, I did so as usual. I got up, went to the toilet, sat down and started my business.

For some reason, my mother came in after me, and started shaking me. I had no idea why, so I just kept going. I had to poop, ya know? She then started pushing me towards a seat and was encouraging me to dump on the seat. Confused, and half asleep, I did so. What the heck, it’s her problem getting poop off the chair.

Turns out I never originally made it to the toilet, instead, I took a dump in the middle of the carpeted hallway. She was actually trying to guide me to the toilet. Not the most dignified moment of my life.

Shadefox

25. Hello In There

It’s pretty standard as a parent to instinctually hear a noise in the deepest sleep in a really awesome dream and immediately wake up and turn the monitor on to investigate. Albeit, that lightens up with their progression. Anyway, my kid was of the age that she was standing and talking and liked to aimlessly travel around her 3×5 crib.

On this particular night, I awoke out of a sleep because of some odd noises, like rustling, and then sort of labored breathing. Then other noises I’d never heard before. So, as a parent (and if you don’t have kids, you won’t understand until you do) my heart drops. In that one second, someone has broken in, made it past our alarm, past our sleeping dog, and is now trying to take my sweet precious little girl!!!

So, in two seconds flat, I sit straight up like they do in the movies and I look straight over at the dark screen. I grab it, turn it on, and OH MY GOD!! I was NOT prepared for what I saw. My kid’s freaking face was the entire monitor screen, head turned sideways. All I saw was her cute little face and little beady night-vision eyes.

It’s an image that’s hard to explain, but it scared me more than the initial thoughts that ran through my head; my heart skipped a beat for sure. That’s when we found out she now knew what the camera was and could communicate with us through it. She was whispering into the camera while looking into the camera eye. She was whispering, “I love you mommy and daddy, can I come to your bed?” It really was a scary few seconds, then that weird feeling you get when you realize your child’s curiosity is so cute and they’re learning.

Bujaly

26. This Hat Stinks

First day of high school (UK—age 11), kid found a pair of badly soiled boxer shorts in an outdoor bin that had clearly been there all summer. I’m talking caked in a 1/4-inch layer of dried poop. Proceeded to put them on his head and start chasing groups of people around the playground…not the best first impression to make when starting a new school.

The poor guy never really pulled himself out of the social rut he dived headfirst into that day.

Sam_198

27. Slender-Cow?

About a year ago, I was in a car coming home from a concert. It was about 1 am, and I live in the UK. Everyone else in the car except for the driver was inebriated, but I was sober and in the back left seat of the car. I was looking out at the fields—and suddenly, I saw a tall creature. Eerily, it walked on all fours despite being about nine feet tall; it was very thin, but it had a human-like face.

I don’t know why, but I never mentioned it to anyone else in the car. I thought they would just think it was a cow.

frickbiscuitz

28. Soup or Soup?

This guy would just combine all of his food at lunch, including the drink, into a weird soup and eat it like that, no matter what we were eating.

Sonicman501

29. Dancing Like No One’s Watching

I used to deliver newspapers. One Sunday, I got the papers extremely early, and went to deliver them to my Sunday-only customers at around 3 in the morning. When I would deliver papers that early in the morning, I would always lift my paper up and smile so that the customers realized who I was and didn’t think I was there to rob them.

On that particular morning, as I approached this one house, I noticed some movement inside behind the front window. Cue the smile and raised newspaper as I approached. I then made direct eye contact with the shirtless, middle aged customer who had been vigorously shaking his large potbelly like a madman, thinking that no one could see.

When I reached the porch, I just smiled and dropped the paper down. The man immediately ran out of the room as fast as he possibly could. I was thinking to myself, “No dude. Don’t run away. Do your thing. I’m just a paperboy. Don’t let me dictate how you live your life!” Sadly, this gentleman was apparently so embarrassed that he canceled his newspaper subscription the following week.

mario2isamariogame

30. Bathroom Humor

I used to work with a gentleman who pooped himself on a regular basis. We used to time how long he had between washing, sometimes it was up to three months, we could smell him at the opposite end of the building. He once had what could only be described as a “Poosplosion” in the bathroom, and attempted to clean up after himself.

When I heard what he’d done in there, I wanted to puke. What he actually achieved was to further smear the matter around with a filthy toilet brush. He would have gotten away with it, except he was the only person in the loo, and we work in a high-security building, with access passes to get in everywhere, and the next person in was a manager, who just looked up who was last in the bathroom. He admitted it, and they made him clean it properly this time around.

He also once requested to go home and change after pooping himself when he sneezed. He was told to wash, change, and come back, but didn’t return all day. The next day, when he returned, he still hadn’t washed, as he stunk and his hair was still greasy. When asked why he didn’t return to work, it turned out that he had sneezed in the car, pooped himself again, and it shot out the top of his trousers and up the seat, and he spent all day cleaning the car.

Permalink

31. Digging for Gold

My co-worker does a lot of weird stuff that is mildly annoying. But the one thing I cannot handle is she always has her fingers up her nose. You’ll be talking to her and she has her hands on her face (on her cheeks Home Alone-style), then her pinky starts moving towards her nose and then…fully inside and poking around.

desbunny33

32. Bicycle Bill

I worked with this guy in the kitchen of my college who we called “Bicycle Bill.” Bill was a non-traditional student, mid-40s, lived with his mom when he wasn’t at school, short, and a bit stocky. He lived in the dorms his freshman year with an 18-year-old dude—who was shocked, to say the least, when he saw his new roomie.

We called him “Bicycle Bill” because he had a muscular disease that caused him to randomly lose control of his limbs, yet he still chose to ride a bike everywhere. He wrecked it at least a couple of times a week. He also wrecked his car, his mom’s car, and his roommate’s car, in a matter of one month. Bad month for Bill.

However, the weirdest thing about Bill was he would carry around a 64 oz jar of peanut butter around to eat with his hand. His hand was constantly covered in peanut butter goo. It was absolutely disgusting.

Permalink

33. Blood Brother

I worked at a summer camp during college and had one fellow counselor who turned out to be weird as heck. One day, we’re taking the kids on a hike up a mountain to camp out for the night in a big lean-to. Just as we get there, I tripped and gashed my knee open on a rock. It was deep, and immediately started pouring blood.

I ask around to find out who has the first aid kit, and it turns out to be this guy who I haven’t worked with before, let’s call him Dave. So Dave, rather than giving me the first aid kit, insists on treating my wound. Blood is flowing all the way down my leg at this point, so rather than argue I just sit down so he can take care of it. This, ladies and gentlemen, is where it gets disturbing.

He takes a wad of cotton, wipes the blood off my leg, and then puts it up to his nose. He takes a deep whiff of the blood-soaked fabric, his eyes closed in what appeared to be pleasure. That in itself was bad enough, but then he opens his eyes and looks directly at me. I’ll never forget what he said next: “The smell of blood is beautiful.”

mattreyu

34. Leave Them Kids Alone

We have a nest in our kids’ room and living/dining rooms. You can see partially into the kitchen from the living room cam, but not much. About the second week into using a new sitter we catch her talking tons of smack about my wife and how she coddles our 18-month-old son. Bragged about how she was going to quit at the end of the day because she hates working for us and doesn’t like our son—but that was just the beginning.

While she’s in the kitchen she puts him in his highchair and turns on an iPad for him to watch Elmo (no screen time is allowed). He asks to get down and go play after a few minutes and she says no, he starts to cry and she basically yells at him, “Oh my God, are you serious right now?! You’re so freaking needy.”

So, he cries harder. About 10 minutes later she takes him back to his room where he calms down. I get home a few minutes later and send her on the way. Sitter: “Ohhh you’re home early, we had a rough morning but we are feeling better now.” Me: “Yeah, hey you know that camera in the living room is on all the time and I can hear everything you say and do in the kitchen, right?” She kinda stuttered and I told her to get out. Then me and my kid hung out all day and had a blast. The thing that got me was being mean to my son. Like, he’s not even two yet.

Skreat

35. A Little Off

My brother had a camera that was left in the basement just for safety reasons. He had some workers over to fix a tile shower since it didn’t drain properly. I guess the guys were pretty annoyed at having to fix it, but it’s their own fault for not doing it right the first time. Fast forward a couple weeks and my brother’s sister-in-law is turning 21.

They are in his basement bar when they start pouring shots of Viniq for her. As they were pouring they could smell something wasn’t right. Her boyfriend immediately thought it smelled like nail polish remover. They decided to check the camera and sure enough, the workers drank some alcohol and replaced it with a full bottle of nail polish remover. They found the empty bottle under the bathroom sink and my brother’s wife knew that was her unopened bottle she had bought previously. Kind of messed up.

NDRoughNeck

36. Messed to Impress

This girl Maggie would find someone new to latch onto every month or so. When she found someone she wanted to befriend, she would do crazy, over-the-top stuff in an attempt to impress them. At one point, she was obsessed with a girl we’ll call Kat. One day, Kat brought in a baggie of celery and was dipping it in a sauce cup of peanut butter.

Maggie WOULDN’T STOP staring and basically watched Kat consume every last piece of celery….Sure enough, the very next day, Maggie comes into class with, I kid you not, like 6 bunches of celery stalks, and a family-sized tub of peanut butter. She just eats it ALL day, with the biggest smile on her face, all while staring at Kat from across the room.

This is a lighter example of the many off-the-wall things Maggie has done for her transient idol of the month, but the endless bushels of celery is just something I’ll never forget.

bellybagel

37. Leftovers

Well, this was a case that happened near where I live. There was a woman who used to work, and a husband who was out of country. They had a two-year-old kid. They hired a nanny to look after him during the daytime. Day-by-day, the kid started looking malnourished. So, she set up a nanny cam like any mother probably would.

Apparently, the lady used to bring her kid and feed him all the food left for the kid she was supposed to babysit. Then she would feed the kid cheap biscuits. She was promptly handed over to the authorities.

realxeltos

38. Wrong Place, Wrong Time

As I walk into the bathroom one day, all I see is my co-worker pooping in a urinal. He sees me and we just awkwardly stare at each other for a few seconds before I walk out.

Rienzo

39. Not Suitable for All Houseguests

My brother (about six at the time) came home from a friend’s house upset and confused and my mom figured out that the kids’ parents had been watching smutty videos openly in front of the kids. Needless to say, he wasn’t allowed back. So screwed up.

OtherwiseCriticism

40. A Room for Business

My friend’s family had a room where they would just let their dog poop on the floor. It didn’t look like it was cleaned often.

inline_asmurai

41. In the Game of Thrones, You Cure Cancer or You Die

A guy at work had a golden throne in his parents’ house that his mom bought for him. He lives with them. A literal golden throne. I didn’t see it, but my other coworkers did, plus it’s the guy’s Facebook picture. He’s about 20. His mom also paid for a literal fluff piece in the local newspaper about how he’s going to cure cancer. He was just a student and not a very good one either.

powabiatch

42. A Cleansing Fire

My friends had a can of gasoline next to the toilet in their bathroom. I asked them what it was for and they told me they’d put it in the toilet, bathtub, and sink to clean it because it takes off grime and gunk.

VolansGaming

43. A Fashionable Friend is Now Her Bodyguard

She had half a mannequin on her kitchen table that she dressed up. Just the head and torso. No arms and legs. Said it was because she liked some movie and this woman in a box that had no arms and legs. The same girl had a male blow-up doll that she dressed in clothes and buckled in her passenger seat, in case someone wanted to carjack her.

We called him Dan Dan the Rubber Man. She brought him into work so he wouldn’t melt in the car. She was weird.

truisluv

44. The Only Thing Worse Than a Chicken is a Spendthrift

I’m going to say medium-rare chicken. Had dinner at my friend’s house when I was 10. They said the blood made it delicious, I tried to politely ask if I could microwave it a little longer, which offended them and resulted in a lecture of how they ate people during WWII in Romania, and how lucky I was to have medium-rare chicken…

captainredbeered

45. Welcome to the Wasteland

I had an appointment for a dishwasher installation (I’m a handyman), out in a, real backwoods, redneck wonderland of a town. They were on what they called a free farm, I think? All the animals ran free, and some even had access to the inside of the house. There. Was. Poop. Everywhere. Like, literal animal poop. It covered so much of the driveway, I had to tiptoe, and it was all over the house.

I walked past five piles of animal droppings attempting to hike my way to their kitchen. They openly apologized for the poop, citing their disabilities as the reason they had not disposed of the poop. The primary animals running free were geese and ducks. There were lots of pigs, dogs, cats, and other animals too. I didn’t do the job and never went back.

bushpotatoe

46. Bloodsucker’s Pride

My mom had a friend who lived up the road that was an ex pole dancer and gave pole dancing lessons. She lived in a nice double-wide trailer with a really nice room with a stage, two poles, lights, fogger, full bar. It was a nice setup. That’s not the part that was weird. You know those Christmas towns they sell at Hallmark or whatever?

She had a huge Halloween one set up. A dozen little haunted houses and a hundred little creepy figurines. In the middle of summer. And it was very well done. She was very proud of the tiny figure of Dracula bathing in blood. It was cool but odd. She was like a grandma showing off her little collection.

WhabbityBam

47. Speak of the Devil and Smell Like One Too

My uncle is 50 years old. He is retired and a millionaire. He never had a girlfriend. He spends his time with video games and sex workers. His house is filthy the smell is unbearable. In that beautiful house of his, he has over 700 devils. Plush devils, plastic devils, glass devils, big devils, small devils. You name it, he has it. It’s all over the place on tables shelves and on the floor. He loves them.

molnarg1102

48. At Least He Didn’t Throw It

This one kid got hit in the stomach by a dodgeball, pooped himself, picked the poop up off the ground, and proceeded to put the poop in his pocket “so no one would know.” EVERYONE in class saw.

youn1442

49. What Happens Later?

I went to Catholic school and during mass, this girl sitting next to me didn’t fully get up, but just sort of squatted and started peeing in the pew next to me (girls wore skirts as part of their uniform). She left the school shortly after. Also, had a kid who would get a nice big ball of spit in his mouth then let it drop out of his mouth into his shirt pocket. He said he was “saving it for later.” Catholic school is weird, folks.

banstylejbo

50. The Dirty Days

While in elementary school, we lived in a four-story apartment complex. Had new neighbors move in just below us and they had four kids, I think. I had been invited over by the daughter that was my age. While getting the tour of her room and whatnot, I notice streaks on the floor in several of the rooms and an odd smell.

We get to her room and I move the door, and there’s human poop in the corner of the door, at the wall. One of her little brothers is running around with diapers on and she explains to me that he’s being potty trained. But explains it as if it’s normal that there’s dried poop behind every door “because he’s learning.” Never went back to that house.

DutchInfid3l

51. Someone Needs an Extreme Home Makeover

My next-door neighbor’s entire decor. Awesome to me, but it’s not every day you walk in and the shelves are lined with decorative skulls, spiders, various witchcraft items from ceiling to floor. She has a huge weirdly shaped jar filled with a hundred or so little plastic skulls and glass cabinets filled with potion bottles and such.

At one point, one whole wall was covered with the flags of the four Hogwarts houses, because she threw her kid a Harry Potter themed birthday party and didn’t want to take them back down. Never been in the bedroom, but she’s enthusiastically talked at length about her and her husband’s BDSM collection that fills an entire closet.

IDreamofLoki

52. Park Your Business Somewhere Else

My old childhood neighbors had nine dogs, a large German Shepherd/boxer mix and eight pugs. One old pug they rescued and a pair that they bred and had aspirations of becoming breeders with, and five of their puppies from the first litter because the wife couldn’t part with any of them. That put the kibosh on the breeder plan and they did get them all neutered, to their credit.

Anyway, the fact that they kept an entire litter of puppies isn’t the weird part. Because pugs have trouble in really hot weather and I live in the southern USA, it got very hot in the summer. The wife also didn’t like to make the pugs go out when there was snow on the ground, because of how short they are. Their solution? Let eight pugs use their garage as a bathroom.

And I’m not talking with paper or pads down. I’m talking just right on the floor. They didn’t clean it until it was too hard to walk through without stepping on poop. In which case they would pick up the poop and do a modicum of mopping. You might think, that’s not THAT bad I guess, except you don’t know that this wasn’t an unused garage, they stored many things including spare furniture, workout equipment, books, etc., so it was all basking in the stench of two weeks’ worth of eight dogs’ worth of poop and pee for at least half the year.

I moved out of my home before they did theirs and I checked it a few years later and wasn’t overly surprised that it had been condemned.

_klueless_

53. Shots Fired!

A kid in my class sneezed and pulled out a large red snot. Everyone watched as it seemed to never end. His arm stretched out until it was no longer bent, and the snot was still running from his nose to his hand. It then proceeded to fling out of his nose and across the classroom onto a desk. One kid threw up.

torvan

54. Kitty, Don’t Leave Home

I know someone who keeps her cat on a harness at all times, tethered by means of about 10 leashes attached end-to-end and tied to the coffee table. The cat is not allowed outside ever, but since she can’t be bothered to be careful with the doors or keep the windows closed this is her solution. Also, the cat’s litter box is in the bathtub, filled with way too little crystals, and 50% poop.

Smells like you would imagine, so I hate going to the toilet in her house. The reason for this torment? Her neighbors are Asian, and therefore she believes they will abduct and eat the cat if it wanders into their garden. I’ve been warned by several people not to mention it because she flies into a rage/panic and will not listen to reason and instead make you the bad guy for wanting to take away her beloved cat.

I would very much like to report her, but my reality is I can’t because she would know it was me and would retaliate. Besides, it wouldn’t do any good because the animal welfare authorities in this country can’t do anything if she’s not actively causing the cat any suffering, which she isn’t beyond restricting its freedom of movement and forcing it to live in unhygienic conditions, which is not exactly uncommon.

Sadly, it’s not a crime to be an ignorant bigoted idiot.

LeewardTheCow

55. Hello, Dolly!

My great aunt has had these toddler-sized old lady dolls scattered around her house for as long as I can remember. They are ultra-detailed, with human hair wigs, outfits that get changed semi-frequently. They’re dolls her late sister had made, so they are sentimental I suppose—but she sets them up in chairs all around the house.

One of them she calls by her sister’s name, and is always sat up in a rocking chair in the living room. The more horror movies I watch, the creepier they become.

Razaleann

56. SNAP

Friend of my brother’s (a year younger) in 10th grade if I remember right…I wasn’t there but I saw the aftermath—and I’ll never forget it. He was horsing around with a few other people in class, chasing each other and whatnot. There was a door that had one of those old-fashioned bolt-on slide locks with a round bolt that you lifted and slid into a round hole on the other side.

This door was wide open at the time…anyway, while running away from his friends he ran past this door. His picky finger slid perfectly into the lock where the bolt would normally fit, all the way to his knuckle, and literally just ripped it right off his hand at the joint. He didn’t make a sound himself when it happened (he did right after though of course), but my brother said the finger made a sound like a pencil being snapped in half.

They reattached it, and it still mostly worked after, but it always looked pretty wonky, all sad and crooked…Weirdest freak accident I ever heard of.

galvanash

57. A Bloody Bad Habit

Went to a work friend’s house for the first time. At the time his fiancée lived with him, very loud and very opinionated. The house was small, and the kitchen was a mess, but I didn’t think too much about it at the time. We went out back to shoot some hoops. After a bit, I had to go to the bathroom, so I went into the house and asked his girlfriend where the bathroom was.

She just kept watching the TV and just pointed down the hall to a small bathroom. When I opened the bathroom door, I was shocked, it looked like a crime scene and smelled awful. The entire floor was covered in bloody period panties with the pads still in them, like she had just dropped them and stepped out of them and left them where they lay.

They were literally everywhere on the floor and there was no safe place to step so I did an awkward balancing, twister pose to get the job done and get out of there. I couldn’t say anything. I was so embarrassed because she had to know, heck, they both had to know and thought nothing of it. Nothing was ever said, and they both used that bathroom before I left and never acted like anything was wrong.

I never went back, and still shudder when I think about it.

virtualdiablo

58. Cool to Fool

There was a kid named Shane I went to middle school with; this was in the early 00s when white rappers like Eminem were really big. He started going by “2Shanez” as his “rapper name” to sound cool. There was a fire drill/evacuation one day where we all had to go sit on the track and wait for the fire department to clear the building (…I don’t think it was a drill after all, looking back on it).

The track was furthest from the school, with a field for soccer and another field for field hockey in between. The track area was fenced off by a chain-link fence about four feet high, and it wasn’t a very long stretch at all. It wasn’t blocking anything, just more of a divider.

Anyways, everyone is making their way towards the track and walking through the “doorway” gap in the fence, while 2Shanez decided he would be cool, pull a stunt, and hop the fence. It ended badly, to put it lightly. He didn’t jump high enough, caught his junk, ripped his sack open. In front of the entire school. He was wheeled off by the school nurse in a wheelchair with a blanket covering his crotch.

2Shanez met his 2chainz that day.

sensitivity001

59. Brotherly Love

My 3-year-old daughter stood next to her newborn brother, looked at him for a while, then turned to me and said, “Daddy, it’s a monster! We should bury it.”

Like_I_was_sayin

60. Putting Your Faith in the Dance

One day many years ago my friends and I went to several open houses in West Hollywood to see how people with a little money lived. The third place we walked into featured framed photos of the owner with Richard Simmons in every single room, including the bathroom. I guess the homeowner lost a lot of weight 30 years ago and was forever grateful.

Richard’s eyes seemed to follow you wherever you went in the house.

queersatzhaderach

61. Will Curiosity Kill the Cat?

My 6-year-old has always had weird interests. She asked me to show her pictures of what’s in our bodies. I showed her diagrams on Google, and she said, “No, I mean inside of a REAL body. Like a dead person.” I showed her some random picture of an arm surgery and she was begging for more. Also, she always asks me to stop so she can look at dead animals on the road.

When my childhood dog died, she tried to sneak and look inside the bag while I was bawling. We’re really pushing for the medical field and not the serial killer field. Only time will tell.

monsterisincorrect

62. Scaredy Cat

When I was about 3 years old we had a cat that had stillborn kittens. I asked my father if we could make crosses for them, which he did. As he was making them, I asked: “Aren’t those too small?” He said, “What do you mean?” I replied, “Aren’t we going to nail them to them?” After several moments of silence, he said: “We’re not going to do that.” “Oh.”

Tom_Zarek

63. Creepy Conversations

So, my son and I stood watching his then two-year-old daughter as she stood looking, laughing and chatting away in toddler jibberish at…nothing…in a completely empty hallway. We just watched her and looked at each other with a confused look on our faces. Same granddaughter, some years later, still sleeps with me when she visits because “that girl” scares her.

That’s all she’ll say because evidently, the girl told her not to tell anyone about her.

TJC528

64. The School Dementors Strike Again

Man, so this kid was a strange one. Maybe something was up with him, but I don’t know. He really liked Slipknot, anyway. One day he swore he was a Wiccan. We used to have Smash Bros. tournaments and invite kids over to play at a friend’s, and he showed up saying he was able to change his eye color. He closed his eyes to concentrate and he opened them saying they changed. They didn’t. He said they became a lighter shade.

He tried to show me how to create fireballs and had this book of different wolf pictures and tried to determine what my wolf form was. He wasn’t a bad kid just weird so we dealt with it…until the incident. He was really into the Wiccan stuff, so two of my friends decided to screw with him. I guess you can say they were metalheads and they had that look.

Anyway, they told me they went up to him one day and revealed themselves as demons. One of them, let’s call him Vince, said he reached out to him from down the hallway, and said, “Your soul is mine!” and made gestures like he pulled his soul out of his body and buried into in the floor. So, the kid freaks out and begs for his soul back and my friends leave thinking the dumb prank was over—they were so wrong.

Later that day, I get a knock on my door and it’s the kid. He has a pair of those sharp metal scissors in his hands and he looks frantic. He is aggressive and tells me that he needs to find Vince. He needs to end Vince’s life to get his soul back. I’m pretty shocked, so I tell him that I don’t know where Vince is and the kid is reluctant to believe me because he has seen me with them. He asked me if I knew they were demons and I tell him I didn’t know.

Anyway, I pretty much shut the door on him and he leaves, freaking out. Supposedly, he was running around trying to find Vince to end his life and retrieve his soul. But this kid was pretty big, so someone saw him running around in the streets with scissors. We don’t know what happened to him. Obviously, as an adult looking back, it was a messed up situation for the kid. No one expected such an episode back then.

I do hope he is doing all right now. However, it was still weird as heck.

Amazingjaype

65. A House is Not a Home

My sister-in-law’s house she shared with her baby daddy. We knew they were living in squalor, and we were finally able to track them down. No edible food in the kitchen, broken glass littered the living room floor, kids running around in their underwear, no power but they had an extension cord run to the neighbor’s house so they could watch TV.

No working toilets. They pooped in buckets and dumped it in the back yard occasionally. Five children were living there, too. This is where it went from disgusting to heartbreaking. The oldest was seven and had never been to school. He was illiterate except he could read some words for food so he would know what to steal from the grocery store down the road, so he and his brother didn’t starve to death.

At seven, the only word he could spell correctly was “cookie.” Now, I cannot tell this part without crying…and I’m a full-grown man. Tears are streaming down my cheeks as I type this, but I’ve got to tell this story because the sadness of this broke my heart. The oldest boy was so desperate for any type of normalcy that he had cleaned about a 3×3 foot area of one remote corner of one bedroom hidden behind a bed.

He had meticulously picked the dirt out of the nasty carpet and had wiped the walls down as best he could. There, neatly lined up against the wall, were his little shoes with the laces all carefully folded into each one and the few Matchbox cars he owned carefully lined up in perfect order. That was the only part of his world he could control. I’ll never forget seeing his little island and those little shoes among the chaos that was that house.

That day, right after physically dumping the “parents” out of their bed and screaming at them to “clean your freaking house,” we essentially kidnapped the two oldest to save them—the other ones had been dumped with other people at the time. We called the Department of Social Services on the way home, and in short order got the other children permanently removed.

Fast forward six years later. We adopted the two oldest boys, and the other siblings (eventually six in total, five at the time) were also adopted out to other families. All are doing amazingly well, and we have regular get-togethers for the kids. They are all great kids. That little illiterate boy who had never been to school? He’s now a tall, handsome, well-spoken honor roll student in advanced math classes going into seventh grade.

The younger one is very musically talented and wants to be a neurosurgeon—he had brain surgery, so he knows about that profession. Our boys are both A/B students with mostly As, are polite, and trustworthy kids. They are growing into fine young men that any parent would be proud to call their sons. I shudder to think what could have happened had we not tracked them down and took them.

dhemrick

66. Apocalyptic Visions

My niece drew a picture “of a man in her room” that she kept telling her parents about. He had two different colored eyes, and one was grey. When asked why it was grey, she responded: “because he can see the storm coming.”

herobotic

67. Look Out, Truffle Shuffle

There were many weird kids across my school life, but this came to mind first. There was this one weird kid in my primary school who, on his last day, insisted on doing what he called the “chicken dance” (not the actual chicken dance at all) in front of the whole class. This act involved him derping around in a circle at tremendous speed all the while flipping his shirt up and down over his head, exposing his gross, blindingly white little boy chest, to a dramatic composition containing crashing wave sound effects.

Darque_Chocolate

68.  Why Wander to Let One Loose?

It was first the first time I ever slept over at a friend’s house. Think I was in kindergarten or first grade. When it was bedtime, his parents gave us empty cups with removable caps on them. I asked my friend what they were for, and he said for peeing. Apparently, his parents didn’t like the idea of their kids wandering around the house at night to go to the bathroom, so we peed in cups and emptied them in the toilet in the morning.

Joskilatrix

69. Culinary Creep

Playing tea party, little one keeps passing me “cake.” I dutifully eat each piece she passes me. “It was poison. You died.” Oh, okay then. She then proceeded to “chop me up,” mix my chopped parts with some spice in a pot, and then serve the resulting stew to her mother.

zenithas

70. A Different Kind of Dress Code

When I was a kid, there was a boy named Jeremy in our apartment complex. I was nine and he was a year older than I. One day he invites me over to his place to check out his comics. When I walked in the front door, his father was sitting in his recliner watching TV. I walked up to say hi to him and didn’t realize until it was too late that his father was completely naked.

I was pretty shocked and taken off guard by it. When we went upstairs, I asked Jeremy, “Why is your dad naked?” He said his dad was always naked. I never went over to Jeremy’s place again.

GeoffreyLaw

71. A Little Crunch

I will always remember the scab eater. This girl would get various cuts and scrapes on the playground pretty much every day and be carted off to get cleaned up and bandaged. When the scrapes hardened into scabs, she would always sit in the back corner of the playground picking the scabs off her skin and eating them.

Usually, these were on her elbows or knees. If the cut would start bleeding again, she would patiently wait for another scab to form before she went back at it. I’ve never seen someone so utterly pleased with themselves as the girl casually dining upon scabs while all the other kids were playing on the playground.

NapQueen713

72. Listen to Your Wing Man, Buddy

I can not stand it when I watch guys hit on girls unsuccessfully. One particularly painful example was a good friend of mine, who is not the best when it comes to flirting, and he had just come out of a long-term relationship so safe to say, he was rusty. At any rate, he makes a beeline toward this girl. I try to intervene and assure him that it will not work.

She was seeing someone, and her friend had told me that my friend, currently making moves toward her, weirded her out a little. I pleaded and pleaded with him to just refrain from doing it, but he was having none of it, as he thought I just wanted to take a stab myself. Anyway, I watch helplessly as he moves towards her, slides up and attempts to hold her hand.

She looks mildly scared, so he says to her in a fairly loud voice, “Don’t worry, I’ll hold you.” At this point, I have to look the other way as I am actually dying of embarrassment for him. She then slowly starts moving away looking quite fearful and then briskly walks outside. He comes back over and asks if he should go for her friend instead.

evanostefano

73. Singing Spirits

I was with my sister, her husband, and their 2-year-old daughter. We were talking about loved ones that had recently passed—my father had died sometime recently. My brother-in-law went and grabbed a picture of his mother, who had died in a car crash when he was six, to show me. When my niece saw the picture though she started laughing.

We asked her what was so funny and she looked at us and said: “that’s my special friend who sings to me.” I still shiver a bit just thinking about it.

KaiserXI

74. Something Rotten in the State of This House

Back in eighth grade, I was the only person to show up at my friend’s birthday party other than his extended family, who all lived in the same mountain “neighborhood.” His whole house had this nasty smell to it, like rotting plants. I’d never been there before and didn’t want to be rude, so I just ate party snacks in the kitchen while we waited for other people to arrive.

I finished some watermelon and asked where the trashcan was. My buddy and his mom directed me to the kitchen’s “backdoor,” which lead to a six-foot drop and a pile of decomposing fruits and vegetables. They also had just set up a downhill zip line, which was pretty dope except that you had to drop off at just the right time to land on an old track high-jump mat instead of the rock/metal pile behind it.

My buddy’s sister nearly died when she did a full flip and missed the mat. My family, who had come to pick me up, and I just stared at each other like “Did you just freaking see that?” while my friend’s mom just calmly said “Oh dear, let’s get you cleaned up…” and my buddy shouted at his screaming sister “I told you to let go Linda, but no—you just had to do it your own way and that’s why you got hurt!”

The_JayBird18

75. Getting it All Out

I remember being on the swings in primary school and there was another kid who was upset that all the swings were taken, so he tried to forcibly remove another kid. The teachers told him not to bother other kids and so he stood NEXT TO the swings, crying loudly, waiting for someone to get off. When I looked at him, he was crying so much his nose was running, but it looked like someone squeezing out a tube of toothpaste.

It was the grossest thing I’ve ever seen.

alexmunse

76. To the Bone of the Problem

I was sent to a new customer’s home by my boss to install some lights and ceiling fans. First thing I noticed was the house was kind of smelly, like old food. Nasty but no big deal. Then I walked into the living room and noticed the large bones on the floor. Apparently, the family would sit around and gnaw on the bones while they watched TV.

Downstairs I saw a bunch of hunting gear, bows, and rifles. I guess that’s where the bones came from. Hoping it was animals.

2sticks6strings

77. The Seven Seas of Regret

Stuck on a cruise ship for three days after my friend proposed to his girlfriend on the first freaking day and she said no. That same first night she made out with some random guy in the hot tub. I’m honestly not sure how devastated my friend actually was, but it was intensified by the fact that he’d drink himself stupid daily by 2 pm, which would lead to him going to beg her to get back with him.

At one point, she was sitting on the new guy’s lap at the bar and he grabbed her hand and “confessed his love for her” for what must have been the fifth time in two days. It was a constant battle of trying to pull him away and convince him to either go to sleep or come with us to another part of the ship. He is a good friend, so I felt terrible for him, ‘cause that was super awful on her part and tried to help him all he would allow, but it was awful to watch.

By the end of the cruise, the entire boat it seemed like knew what had happened. When I tried to bring it up with my girlfriend (who was on the cruise with me as well) days after we got home, she straight up refused to talk about it, saying that was painful enough at the time so we never need to speak of it.

b8le

78. Where Does the Pig-Sty End?

My family and I decided to buy a horse advertised for sale on the internet. We drove to the woman’s house—she had some fields around the house where she kept the horses. The place was badly run-down, and the fields were full of weeds. I needed the toilet while we were there, and she said I could go into her house and use it.

I have never seen a house in such an appalling state. As soon as you walk in, you see that there are huge—almost the size of a human—sacks of dry dog and cat food, which are open and have been tipped over, and the dog/cat biscuits have spread all over the entire floor, nobody has bothered to pick them up and they’ve obviously been like that for ages as they are all broken and trodden into the carpet, well you can barely see the carpet at all.

There is so much other junk that there’s barely any light as the windows are blocked by junk and you can barely move in there. Then I went into the toilet, and it was obvious it had never been cleaned. The toilet/bathroom was also full of junk and everything, the sink, toilet, walls, and floor were brown and crusty with filth. It was the filthiest place I’ve ever seen, and the owner seemed to think it was totally normal.

Permalink

79. She Looks Tasty

High school drawing class, two kids: Girl A (had known her for a while, fairly normal kid) and Girl B (had never spoken to her before). I was having a chat with girl A during class when girl B approaches. “Girl A, are you busy?” “Yeah, I’m talking.” “Oh, but can you just…” “No.” “Pleeeaasseee?” “I said no, come back when I’m not talking.”

Girl A and I go back to our conversation, the same convo between Girl A and Girl B happens once more. Finally, Girl A and I stop talking. “Are you free now?” Girl A sighs the sigh of a lost cause. Her eyes look dead. She tilts her head, “Go ahead, Girl B.” Girl B viciously bites her neck. In a full classroom, teacher present. No one moves, Girl A doesn’t make a sound, but Girl B loudly, sloppily bites at her neck.

I still talk to Girl A but haven’t brought up that time since.

marble-falls

80. Don’t Look to Them to Lend a Helping Paw

I have this friend who has a lot of cats. And with a lot I mean she had at least 11 cats. Not to mention, two dogs. I’m all about having pets but in my opinion, you need to keep it to a minimum when you have a very small house, which was my friend’s case. Now, why do I mention this? Well, when we were about to have breakfast in her kitchen, she suddenly put two little cat bowls in the middle of the tiny table, filled with wet cat food—so you know it smells bad.

Two cats jump up and start eating out their bowls, with their tiny pinkish-brown anuses just staring at me, while I tried to ignore the smell and did my best working my breakfast down. Apparently, she did so because the whole house already was filled with cat bowls and if the cats got to close to each other while eating they would start fighting.

So, she deemed the kitchen table a good location. When I finally thought well it can’t get worse than this, a chicken jumps up on the chair in front of me. A CHICKEN. It just sat there, joining us at the table. And I swear to God, my friend barely looked up. So needless to say, I was quite confused and weirded out. My friend didn’t seem to think there was anything wrong or unsanitary about this.

Reesesbuttercups

81. You Wanna Hang Man

My son stared at the corner and said, “Why is that man watching us? And why does his head like this?” Then he turned his head at a sharp angle, similar to how a hanging victim would look.

TheKatyisAwesome

82. And for My Next Trick!

I was napping on the couch and my then three-year-old was standing there with a felt toy in the shape of a saw. I woke up to him saying, “I’m going to saw mommy’s head off!!” Uhhhh….nope.

1982wasawesome

83. Power Nap

I stopped at a red light and saw a lady in the car next to me with really sporadic head movements. Not the head-bob dancing type, but just kind of crazy. After like 10-15 seconds of this, her neck went limp and her head just hung forward. The light turned green and I hesitated a moment wondering if she needed medical care. I almost pulled in front of her to check on her when her head abruptly jerked back up and she drove off without hesitation.

rabid_chestnut

84. And He Was Never Seen Again

His name was Joe. One day I was in class and saw him being marched down the corridor to the pastoral leader’s office. The pastoral leader looked absolutely shocked at what she had seen, but the best was yet to come. Thirty minutes earlier, Joe had gone to the toilet and while he was there he had pooped into his hands and placed his deposit inside the hand dryer.

The next person to use it had poop splatted all over their hands. This wasn’t even the worst part. Somehow it was figured out that Joe had done this and he was swiftly taken out of his class by the pastoral leader—who happened to be American—and taken to her office. Now it’s important to note here that pastoral leaders’ computers aren’t subject to the same internet restrictions as the rest of the school.

The pastoral leader left her office for whatever reason, leaving Joe alone in the office. When she came back we heard this massive, “OH MY GOD” in her American accent. While she had been out of the room Joe had used her computer to get onto adult sites and started touching himself. I wasn’t one of the kids who actually saw it, but others responded to the shriek.

I never saw Joe again after the end of that week.

Slicy_McGimpBoy

85. Poor Man’s Flashlight

I moved to a town that had a bit of a bad reputation. The first thing I saw when I got there was a man walking down the street with a bunch of plastic bags on fire. He was holding them like a lantern and was so casual about it despite the flaming plastic dripping onto him. Let’s just say, I was definitely regretting my decision to move there in that moment.

stophittingthyself

86. The Door Is There for a Reason

This kid once pooped at school, which is weird enough…but he had the cubicle door open, wiped his butt, and then held the tissue up to his face and smelled it. True story. My friend and I saw it by accident when we turned around the corner from the urinals after we went to the washroom. I’ll never forget it in my entire life.

PiruzianB

87. It Didn’t Have His Back

There was this weird kid named Gavin who sat in the front row of my nutrition class. One day, he was not in class (he never missed class). So, as the teacher is doing attendance, she asks “Where’s Gavin?” Just as she says this, everyone looks outside to see Gavin throw his backpack down a couple flights of stairs, jump down the stairs, and begin beating his backpack with a baseball bat.

The teacher silently walked over and closed the blinds as the entire class burst out in laughter. Had to be one of the most hilarious moments in my high school experience.

cR_MeRk

88. Don’t Play With Fire

This one kid regularly put a lighter to his hair in the computer labs to make the teachers think a computer was on fire. I suspect they knew what was happening, but had to take the necessary precautions like call the fire brigade. When the same kid was about 13 or 14, he was bullying some girl. The girl’s older brother, about 18, confronted him about it, and the bully put the guy in the hospital.

IAmNotStelio

89. All’s Well That Smells Bad

I knew this kid who smelled terrible. He’d walk in a room, and this disgusting stench would follow him, like some sort of cloud of garbage-scented air. If you were in class with him, it would permeate the entire room. Anyway, one time one of the teachers found a toenail in his locker. He had some sort of fungal infection on his feet and one of his nails fell off, which he then proceeded to take and save so he could send it to a family member.

Quite possibly the most disgusting and weird event I’ve ever witnessed.

Permalink

90. There’s Got to Be a Better Way to Say “Occupied!”

I was on a train going between London and Manchester (UK) and went to use the bathroom. The toilet at the end of the carriage was disabled-accessible, so it had a wide curved door that automatically opened at a steady and slow pace—about 20-30 seconds to complete, uninterruptible, retracting in a semi-circle to allow wheelchair access to the carriage.

If you’ve traveled on these trains before, you’ll know that to close the door you enter the stall, push a button to close the door, then when it’s finished closing, you press another to lock it. Someone had not told this to the lady in the loo. Just as I arrived, another person coming from the other direction pushed the outside button to open the door and it started its inevitable arc.

For at least 30 excruciating seconds, the button pusher, myself—and eventually everyone sitting in the packed commuter carriage beyond who was facing in our direction—got to see the woman bend up from the seat, reach and hop to the other side of the cubicle and desperately pummel the door-close/lock buttons inside. Pants around the ankles the whole time.

White bottom flashing. At a merciless pace, the door opened fully, contemplated its life and then closed on the pitiful image within. The button pusher and I looked at each other, said nothing and went back to our seats.

Taswegian

91. Cut!

Using a baby monitor to care for aging parent. My sister comes in and tries to convince my dad to cut me out of the will and give everything to her.

TooPrettyForTheSlammer

92. Safe & Sound

About two years ago, after our son was born with some breathing issues. He has a rare form of dwarfism and his airway is just smaller than most. We were issued state-funded nursing. A nurse came at night to watch him overnight and make sure he was safe. At the time he was very stable and really didn’t need the nursing, but because he had a tracheotomy tube you legally need the nursing.

He was a little over four months old at the time of this incident. One night I heard his oxygen monitor beeping, which was not unusual since it frequently malfunctioned. We had been so tired from getting up all the time from the beeping and stupid stuff that the nurses would frequently do, so I didn’t hear it for quite a while.

These were not highly trained nurses. We had been getting very little sleep for months. Very high stress. I walk in and the baby is royal blue and lifeless. An image I will never be able to erase from my brain. The oxygen monitor says 20% oxygen (normal would be 95-100%). I yell to my wife (who happens to be a surgeon) and she rushes in and we both start doing CPR on our kid.

We call 9-1-1. The nurse is standing there just kind of staring the whole time. She didn’t call 9-1-1, she didn’t call us. I didn’t understand what just happened. We do CPR for 15 minutes. No sign of life. The EMTs get there and do CPR for another 12 minutes. At the end of the 12 minutes they get some small signs of life and rush him off to the ER.

My wife hops in the back of the ambulance and continues to do life-saving measures for the whole ride. At the hospital, they call a code and do life-saving measures for another two hours. He was in and out. When I got to the hospital they brought over the chaplain and asked us these end of life questions. I was destroyed.

He survived the whole ordeal but suffered significant right and left-sided brain damage. He is three now and making great progress but I believe he will never be the same. He doesn’t talk yet but is getting close. He says a few words. He is a good kid. Only a few days prior to the incident we set up cameras in the room because the nurses seemed a little unsafe, but I had no choice. Long story there.

I went back and watch the recorded video. When I saw what really happened, I almost lost it: The nurse (either on purpose or by accident) had taken the nebulizer machine (an air mister, to blow medicine into your airway), and in an attempt to give him his breathing treatment (accidentally or on purpose) attached it directly to his airway (trach).

Meaning, that instead of gently misting medicine into his airway, he had a strong burst of compressed air being forced into him. It punctured his lung (think a balloon being blown up and popping) and caused crepitus (air under the skin) and he was without oxygen for over six minutes. If it weren’t for the nurse, he’d be fine.

He was a stable kid who needed a little extra help in the beginning of his life to get to average. He was not a child on life support. His form of dwarfism is limiting, but oftentimes these kids have higher IQs than average, and we don’t know why. Unfortunately, that won’t be the case for him. If it weren’t for my wife being a doctor and constantly saving lives, he’d be dead without question.

She is a professional life-saving master. I knew CPR, but she knew exactly what to do to save his life and not to quit. We had a few extra lifesaving things like an ambubag and we were able to save his life because of that. We sued the nursing company and won, of course. The money goes into an account to provide services for him for the rest of his life.

After we are gone, we want to make sure someone will take care of him. The nurse did not get her license revoked. She is still “practicing.” We tried to appeal to the nursing board, but that was the result.

darmanski123

93. Getting a Head Start for the Coroner

I am doing part-time freelance nursing at the moment. One of the cases I attended was a rather large house in the middle of nowhere for an elderly man. When I was let in by his caretaker, I saw the old man lying in a box, which was disguised as a bed. I was told it was because the family knew he was on his last legs and eventually he will pass on, so the box was his pre-coffin for the undertaker to take to the parlor and it’s a norm for their family to do this.

Creepy, but that wasn’t even the worst part. While I was waiting for the antibiotic drip to complete, I looked out the window and saw the backyard of the house, all the coffins of deceased family members were all above ground and you could open the window to see them in the coffins, preserved from the day they died.

They were only lowered into the grave once the decomposition began despite the preservatives. Apparently, it was part of their beliefs and family traditions.

ScienceofFish

94. Not Getting to the Bottom of This One

It was in my public speaking class at a community college over a decade ago. I can’t remember the exact assignment, or the context of the assignment, but we had to give a speech in front of the class every week. This girl got up in front of everyone and gave a full 5-minute speech about how her friend “had sex in the butt hole and didn’t like it.”

I have erased most of what happened from memory—for good reason—but I just remember her shouting, at the top of her lungs, the phrase “sex in the butt hole” multiple times in five minutes. I have never been more uncomfortable in my entire life and you could tell the entire class felt the same. Then I looked at the professor in the back of the class and she was white as a ghost.

Like, she didn’t know how to process what the heck just happened. Sitting through five minutes of that was the most uncomfortable experience I’ve ever had in my entire life.

RedShirtDecoy

95. Hereditary IRL

My friend’s family has a shrine for her grandma. When I first saw, I was like “Oh, she probably passed, and this is a way to commemorate her,” since we also have a little “shrine” for my grandma. I was on Facetime with her later on that night when I got home and asked about it. And it turns out that her grandma is VERY much alive and healthy.

She explained that she thinks her family is a cult with her grandma as the leader, and I don’t know…every time I go to her house, I freak out just a tiny bit.

evelxn

96. Pulling a Tyson

He once went into a berserker nerd rage in grade three or four. It was absolutely disturbing. He jumped on another unpopular kid and tried to rip the guy’s ear off. A ton of other kids tried to stop him but he just batted them all away. He eventually dug his teeth into the kid’s back and bit off a chunk of skin. It was pretty messed up. For anyone wondering, this was somewhere in Canada.

I don’t think he got suspended or anything (I honestly can’t remember) but he eventually became friends with the kid he attacked.

NeonKing

97. The Roach Motel Came Home

A guy in mom’s neighborhood found out I played guitar in a few bands and asked if I’d be willing to come to his house and answer some questions, give tips, etc., and I agreed. I enter his house and it’s infested with roaches. Roaches on the wall, in the sink, on the floor, freaking everywhere. And the roaches were completely unafraid of us.

He and his family (wife and two kids) seemed completely oblivious to the absolute horror-show that was their home. I’m trying to act normal, but in my mind, I’m freaking the heck out. I stayed a few minutes and answered a few questions before making an excuse to leave early.

Jukka_Sarasti

98. Too Much Off the Top

Went to an open house in my town. The realtor told us that the couple was getting a divorce. The man had left his wife. She was a bit strange. So, we make our way up to the master bedroom and the only piece of “decor” was a long glass display case like you might use to showcase a model ship or car. It was about two feet long. Inside was something that looked like a ticker-tape rolled up at one end and pulled across the length of the case.

It was a life monitor readout that slowly flat-lined to the end. Across the bottom of the case was displayed a ponytail…with a good-sized section of the scalp still attached to it. Totally morbid. We got the heck out of there. Found out later that the daughter of the couple had been killed by a drunk driver. The wife went a little batty and drove her husband away.

twogunrosie

99. Obsessive Father

One summer, when I was about 13, a friend of mine had a girl from her school who invited us over to go swimming in her pool. We go to her place and are shown to her room to change. As I’m changing my friend suddenly whispers “What the heck?” I turn around and see a bunch of used sanitary pads lined up on this girls desk. She comes to join us in her room and my friend flat out asks her what the pads are all about. She says, very plainly, “They’re for my dad so he can check that I’m not pregnant.”

permalink

100. Good Art Comes From Inside

When I was six years old my mother used to babysit my neighbor Annie. Annie was a very artistic girl; she loved to color and draw everything she saw. One day, I was playing Star Fox 64 on my Nintendo 64 and Annie was watching. Of course, being too absorbed in the game, I never turned around to see her greatest work of art.

My mom walks in the room to check on us and lets out a scream…Annie had made a drawing of a triangular looking ship with a circle around it. It was Star Fox doing a barrel roll…except she didn’t make it with paint. She made it with poop.

neric05

Sources: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9


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