It seems like, as a species, human beings can’t help but lie. Sometimes it’s to cover our tracks, sometimes it’s to spare someone’s feelings, and sometimes it’s just for the sheer thrill of it. But as these people learned, lies have a funny way of blowing up in our faces. Here are the internet’s wildest stories about two-faced liars.
Insane Stories About Lies
1. Truth About Their Parents
My kids are adopted. They all remember their birth mom and dad very fondly, and I hope to keep it that way. I just can’t bear the thought of them discovering the dark truth about where they came from. The real story is that their parents were drug addicts. They have no idea how horrible they really were and how much they put the kids’ lives in danger. I’m not sure if I can ever tell them that.
2. A Sweet Treat Before It Ends
When I was in kindergarten my dad would routinely show up, sign me out of class, and take me for ice cream. Best memory ever. Later, I discovered the tragic reason why. In retrospect, my dad knew he was dying, and passed when I was 6. He routinely did stuff like this. I feel as if I missed nothing, I’m now 35.
3. Denial Is Not a Healthy Form of Communication
My (soon to be) ex-wife met another guy about a year ago. She was so bad at hiding it that I thought she wanted to get caught. When I confronted her, she lied even with solid evidence. But a few months later stuff starts disappearing from the house and we started to have no money every month, even though I have a good job. I was devastated when I learned what she was doing. She was actually paying bills to start her new life with this guy, using my money.
4. Need a Hand?
While camping, I was helping my dad build a fire. My sister came up and asked, “Were you just standing outside my tent?” My dad said yes and changed the subject, but I knew it was all horribly wrong. We’d been building the fire together the whole time, so I knew it couldn’t have been him. Something in his eyes told me to keep my mouth shut. Later, after my sister went to sleep, I asked him why he’d lied, and he revealed the chilling truth.
He told me it was too late to go home so there’s no sense in scaring my sister when there’s nothing to do about it. I stayed in my sister’s tent that night with a knife in hand. I didn’t sleep. We stayed for another night without incident, but I couldn’t get my mind off of the fact that we weren’t alone.
5. Double Blast From the Past
When my mom was young, she called off a wedding just weeks before the ceremony date because she found out her fiancé had lied to her about his whereabouts and was partying at a hotel with friends and other women. She caught him in a hot tub with twin sisters. Fast forward a few years, and she’s dating again. She was getting serious with a new boyfriend—but that’s when she made a terrible discovery.
She starts dating and later marries the man who is my biological father. She said meeting the family was especially awkward when she discovered my father had three sisters… two of whom were the twins she caught her ex-fiancé with in the hot tub.
6. Not the Best Lie
I’d just gotten my first job when a guy asked me if I wanted to go away for a week. I said yeah, so I invented a tragic story for why I needed the week off—it turns out, my lie would have horrifying consequences. I told my boss that a family member had died and that I couldn’t come in for a week. My boss, who’s a great guy and knows my dad, calls him up and says, “I’m so sorry for your loss, please let me know if there’s anything I can do.” My dad was like “What do you mean? What happened?”
And he ended up telling my boss I lied about the entire thing. I don’t know which was worse—when my boss confronted me, or my dad.
7. Family Friends With Benefits
I have a breakfast place that I’ve been frequenting on weekends for years. One weekday I was going to work late, so I went there to eat. I saw my dad and went to say hi—that’s when I made a chilling discovery. He looked shocked when he saw me, and when I got closer I saw he was with a woman who wasn’t my stepmother.
He said she was someone he worked with. The waitresses were all my friends, and a couple of days later when I went for breakfast, they proceeded to tell me how he met that lady there every week. I never brought it up to him and pretended it never happened. That was about 14 years ago…I still go to that breakfast place and the girls told me after that day he never came back to that restaurant.
8. Well, I Guess He Walked Right Into That One…
This guy came into my dad’s firm saying he couldn’t walk after an injury at work. My dad then finds a video of the man walking no problem, so he decides to catch the guy in his lie in the most epic way possible. He tells the liar to come into the office because he’s found this huge breakthrough in the case and they were going to win a ton of money.
So the guy comes to his office, and he leaves him sitting in the lobby for almost an hour because my dad knows this guy is a scumbag just trying to get money over nothing (which makes lawyers look bad). Then my dad calls him into the meeting room, and plays the video. Let’s just say, after the meeting, a seriously furious man walked right out the front door.
9. Kicking When She’s Down
I was in a horrible place after losing my unborn child. That’s the exact moment my ex-husband chose to sue me for full custody of the other child. My sister consoled me and supported me through it all. I thought she was on my side, until I realized just how deeply she had been betraying me this entire time. I don’t know if I can ever forgive her.
It turns out that my own sister had talked my ex-husband into suing me for full custody at the exact moment I was unable to contest it properly. She also foddered his case with lies to make me look like a terrible mother, while simultaneously patting me on the back and consoling me that he was a terrible man.
He didn’t win, but the case made things contentious for us for years and made it impossible to grieve with my now husband, because I was in survival mode to make sure I didn’t lose my daughter.
10. Fly Me to the Moon
I had just got on a flight headed to Vegas. Sitting next to my girlfriend, and she wants to show me something she has planned for the trip, so gets out her phone. It opens to the Messages app and shows some messages that made me absolutely sick. She tried to hide it, but I saw everything I needed to.
It was a chat with a guy (I know him) saying how much she is going to miss him and how she doesn’t want to go away with me anyway. The doors close on the plane and that was a really fun 10-11hrs…
11. Sinking to New Lows
This girl at my high school lied to everyone about having breast cancer. She even got “counseling” from a teacher who actually did have breast cancer, and who has since passed away. Eventually, everyone found out that she was just lying about the whole thing to get attention. I doubt we’ll be seeing her at a high school reunion any time soon.
12. You Can’t Hide Your Lying Eye
I work at a daycare. If a child is sick they will be sent home cause we don’t want to risk infecting the whole class (generally happens anyway). A lot parents don’t agree with this policy which leads to parents arguing with us that their kid isn’t sick when they obviously are. My favorite time this happened was when a mother dropped her little boy off in an eye patch. Yep, the toddler was wearing a darn eye patch.
I ask what happened and she says he hit his eye or something. Which I didn’t really believe. She says whatever I do don’t take off his eye patch. I pick him up and immediately lift up his eye patch…pink eye. She was sooooo annoyed at me for doing that. The look on her face was so satisfying.
13. Ask for a Doctor’s Note Next Time
We’d been together for just under two years. It was particularly hard because her mom had a terminal illness, but we stayed strong—until one day, when my whole world came tumbling down. Out of nowhere, I got a text from some guy asking how I knew her. Confused, I said she was my girlfriend—and that’s when her utterly insane web of lies finally fell apart. I still can’t even believe it.
Turns out her mum was fine, and she had been engaged to this guy and living with him the entire time…they were due to get married in two weeks. It still blows my mind that she managed to play us both so well the entire time.
14. Shaking the Truth Out
EMS here. I had a patient start seizing in front of the cops after they were pulled over for possible drunk driving. We get there and the patient is still on and off seizing. We get them on the stretcher and in the back of the ambulance, surprisingly the cop joins us. As I take their arm, the shakes start up again, so I tell them, “Yo, if you want this medication, I need you to stop so I can start and IV real quick…” His response was hilarious.
Patient stops to let me start the line, and once I say I’m done, they start back up.
15. Cheaters Never Prosper
I knew my ex-wife was cheating on me but didn’t tell her that I knew. I took her out to dinner and casually asked questions about who she had been spending time with while I was at sea. During this time, she failed to mention the guy who had been staying at my house for months, the guy she had to call the cops on just to get to leave because I was coming home in two days.
So I slid her a copy of the police report that was filed for the incident and watched as she crumbled over the fact she had been caught, and I didn’t have to say a word.
16. Lies and Basketball
I played college basketball, and one of my teammates had a chronic condition with the truth. My first summer we were roommates, and I always suspected he was stealing my clothes. At one point, every player received a custom pair of Jordans in our school’s colors. But within a week mine went missing. A month later, I noticed my roommate/teammate was wearing a pair of Jordans. Later in the day we were in a gym and I waited until we were all relaxing, and he had the soles of his shoes facing forward as he sat.
I told all of my other teammates what I suspected, and approached him. “Hey, have you seen my Jordans?” “Naa, I already told you. Now leave me alone,” “Then why is my number written on the soles of the shoes you’re wearing?” The team equipment staff had predicted some shoes might go missing, so they had marked each pair. I made him take the shoes off right there, since I couldn’t trust I’d get them back at the end of the day. After that, his nickname on the team was Simba, for being the Lying King.
17. Say Cheese!
I was waiting at a red light behind a red BMW. I happened to notice that its bumper was kind of messed up. The light turns green, and he starts going. I slowly begin to accelerate like any normal human. Then, all of a sudden, he slams on his brakes and I do the same. I didn’t hit him at all. I couldn’t believe what he did next: He then reverses directly into my car, turns on his hazards, and pulls into the parking lot of a nearby shopping complex.
We exchange information. I remain absolutely calm the entire time. Later, at small claims court (after rejecting his claim with my insurance):
Him: Yes, your honor, he rear-ended me, and therefore owes me $5 thousand in damages—including a new paint job, plus an additional thousand for emotional distress, as I have needed physical therapy ever since.
Judge (looking over at me): And you say that you have a video of the entire incident?
Me: Yes I do, sir.
Hands DVD to bailiff.
Dashcam video clearly shows his fraud.
Judge: So, is that you in the video?
He literally got arrested and had to pay me over $5 thousand in damages. Get a dashcam people!
18. An Inconvenient Throwback
Boyfriend finally convinces me to have a threesome after months of begging. I finally agree, and our mutual friend comes over. Things get hot and heavy, and when he starts being with her, he moans “Darn, you feel even better than usual!” Everyone freezes. He tries to tell me that he was thinking about me while being with her, and that it just felt differently.
But she felt so guilty that she confessed on the spot. They’d been having an affair for months. She begged me to forgive her. We don’t really talk anymore, but last I heard she had been dating my ex for over a year.
19. Nightmare Renters
I helped an older woman who mistakenly rented a room in her house to the most evil family I’ve ever met. She offered the two rooms and private bathroom to the family of four because the house they were renting caught fire and they were forced out into a hotel. She just wanted to help. Took them out to dinners and all the insane things you’d imagine the nicest person in the world to do.
So they stabbed her in the back. Never paid rent. Abused the heck out of her laundry machine and ate her food.
So I went over one day and could hear the toilet running from the hallway. They didn’t care about wasting water. So I grabbed a recorder and knocked on the door asking if I could come in and check on the running toilet. The mother just banged on the door back at me so loud it sounded like she was going to break the door. Then shouted at me through the door about how she was going to bury the old woman in the back yard.
She eventually let me in, I fixed the toilet and moved on to other projects around the house. Figured that was over with. NOPE. About 15 mins later I see a cop car in the driveway. Ok, this is BS, but I guess I should go talk to them. Cop sees me coming and as soon as I was within earshot he starts lecturing me about how illegal it is to harass tenants.
I stopped him and said “You’re yelling at me without even asking for my side of the story. Would you like to hear what actually happened?” So I played the recording. He spun around and unleashed fury on this woman for lying to him. All the while I stood there smiling at her from over his shoulder. I’ll never forget that feeling of actual justice in the middle of an eight-month-long nightmare.
20. Not Made of Stars
A co-worker briefly dated a guy but broke up with him when he was demeaning to her over her career. The last thing he said to her was, “I guess you and I aren’t made of the same stardust.” A couple months later, she checks his Instagram and, lo and behold, “our little miracle has been born,” with photos of him, a woman, and a newborn infant. She did the math and realized that the whole time they were dating, he had a pregnant girlfriend he never mentioned. I guess they weren’t made of the same stardust after all!
21. An Oscar-Worthy Performance
I had a patient who presented with unrelated complaints, but on the standard intake for our clinic we always ask whether they used any drugs in the last month. This particular patient was wearing a short-sleeved shirt. As I asked, he looked down at his arms, exposing his numerous “track marks.” He then looked up at me, crossed his arms, and proudly stated: “Nope, never.”
22. Hunting for Problems
My brother started to think his wife was cheating on him since a lot of sketchy stuff was going on. So, we made a plan: We told her we were going on a hunting trip—but really, we were laying an ingenious trap. We never actually left town and holed up at my house. We drove to his place after dark and caught her red-handed. My brother was mad with rage and wanted to go in there and beat the guy to a pulp—but I convinced him there was a better option that would really nail them.
We snuck up to the house and using the night vision camera got video of them bumping uglies in the living room. My brother wanted to confront this guy at this point so… I did something messed up and called the cops. I said I heard a lot of yelling from the house and asked if they could go check. It kept my brother from messing with the dude (a coworker of hers).
Cops show up, take statements. We leave and the next day he pulls her iMessages off the email account and talks to a lawyer. We give the lawyer the messages and when we show up five days later from our “hunting trip,” he calls her and says he got something wild and wants her to come out and see it.
When she comes out he gives her divorce papers and kicks her out of the house. She had the police do a civil stand by while she got her stuff a few days later. House was his before they got married so all she got to keep was some stuff they bought together and her car. No kids and the prenup nullified the alimony she could have gotten as he made way more money than her.
The guy she was sleeping with had a record. We saw her a few months later, she tried talking to my wife and said she missed my brother and she was sorry, the guy and her broke up shortly after the divorce.
23. The Big Lube-owski
A lube technician at a Jiffy Lube once tried to convince me that I was in desperate need of a radiator service…for a car that didn’t have a radiator. He even showed me a PH strip to “prove” that the fluid had gone acidic. I told him that if he could show me the radiator, I’d cheerfully pay for the service. The expression on his face when he opened up my car’s hood and realized what I was getting at was pretty priceless.
24. A Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing
My sister’s ex-fiancé really charmed everyone in the beginning. We thought he was the sweetest southern gentleman you’ve ever met… but we were so, so wrong. Fast forward a year later, he got my sister into drugs. They lost all their money and moved in with my mom. He would abuse my sister and my mom. My mom wasn’t really a hoarder, but she had a lot of things in her home. This man was a neat freak.
So while my mom would be at work, he would “clean” out the house by throwing her belongings into the trash can outside and setting it on fire. These belongings included my late father’s things that were sentimental, like his clothes. Also any and all picture albums of our family growing up. He threw away and burned everything. I have no pictures of my dad or myself from when I was younger anymore.
My sister ended up leaving him, but they do have a beautiful child together. That’s the only good thing about the whole situation. He is and always will be a monster.
25. Dark Side of the Pond
I work as head of IT security for a large insurance company. One of the people I work with was recently scammed out of over 250k. Saddest thing I ever saw. She’s essentially screwed. 56 years old and she got nothing. I did what I could to give her advice about her next steps, but couldn’t convince her to tell her family, she’s so embarrassed.
She met a guy on a popular dating site. The profile looked good to her and the two of them “hit it off.” He claimed to be from the UK, but no surprise, turned out they traced it back to Africa. They chatted for a couple months and money was never mentioned, but from time to time he’d talk about a business opportunity he had.
He makes all these promises to fly her out to the UK and get married. Then the hook. He logged on one day and said he was very unhappy. He told her that he was short on money and couldn’t put the business deal together any more. He might even lose his house because of it. He convinced her to send $25k. That was the beginning of the end.
He continued to use various tactics (I won’t go into detail) to convince her to send a little over $250k through 7 separate transactions. In the end, he had her doing transfers to other people’s accounts (routed back to him no doubt) because Western Union suspected fraud and had stopped allowing transfers to him.
The wakeup call for her came when she saw a Dr. Phil show about this sort of thing. After seeing the show, she realized she may have been victimized and called the police. A really sad story.
26. Proof of Purchase
I was once in an auto shop waiting room, watching one of my fellow customers angrily shouting at the guy behind the counter about how he had been waiting there for more than two hours. The shop manager just casually pulls out a piece of paper and calmly states, “We just printed the work order that you signed less than 30 minutes ago.” Well played, Mr. Manager. Well played…
27. Good Riddance to Bad Rubbish
My roommate kicked himself out of my condo. I didn’t know this before he moved in, but he turned out to be a pathological liar and attention/pity seeker. He fabricated and gossiped all kinds of stories that were easily proven false and then he’d backpedal and lash out if caught. I was super uncomfortable with it.
I privately started making plans to give him his 30 days’ notice at the end of his lease, but hadn’t told anyone. Well, one day I get some text messages from some mutual colleagues asking if it was true that I was kicking him out TODAY and I tell them that this was the first I was hearing of it. Turned out that roughly after the third or fourth time that I caught the roommate in a major lie, he noticed that I wasn’t as chummy with him anymore, and he started spreading a vicious, completely untrue rumor that I hated him now and that I was going to kick him out on his butt.
He went crying to all of the prettiest ladies in the gossip mill at work about how he was getting kicked out tonight, and he got tons of attention. So that night, he comes home and starts yelling at me about how he’d heard that I’m evicting him. I told him nope, I had no idea what he was talking about. He starts ranting and raving. I tell him point blank that I don’t know what he’s talking about—but I was upfront about my intention to give him notice at the end of his lease.
He starts yelling WHAT DATE and then cuts me off and gives himself 30 days notice from today. Then he stormed off and updated his whole gossip train that he HAD been kicked out tonight and that the rumors were all true. I was pretty slack jawed at this point. The next day, he found a friend’s couch to sleep on and upped the gossip to “Billie hates me so much they kicked me out onto the street that night.” So he turned his own rumor that he created about himself into a quasi-reality. He did leave my home that day, but not on my doing. But joke’s on him: my home and my life are 1000x more peaceful now that he is gone.
28. Hidden In Plain Sight
My great-grandfather is the biggest liar I ever met. It turns out that he had two families that lived about 200 yards from each other for about 20 years. Neither had any idea the other existed until his funeral. When the priest asked the spouse to step forward, two women got up. I’ve been told it was a very awkward service.
29. A Narrow Path Between Truth and Lies
When I assisted doctors in the ER, I met a patient I’ll never forget. He was an 18-20-year-old male. Complaining of a foreign object in his…male organ. He had a set of iPhone headphones stuck right up in there.
And when I say stuck up there, I mean all the way to where the single cord splits in two for the two earbuds. Out of precaution we did an x-ray and sure enough, you could see the knotted-up cord in his lower abdomen, and it was going to require surgery to remove due to it being tangled. When he told us the “true” story, I was astounded.
He said that he was at a party with some friends and that when he got drunk and passed out, his friends shoved it up there as a joke. But this was a lie. The doctor I was working with had seen this guy for the same kind of thing not long ago. She recognized there was a bigger issue and convinced him to have an in-patient psych consult in the ER after surgery so they could get him the help he needed.
30. Sounds More Like Brain Freeze Than Freezer Burn
I had a customer once call up the store that I worked at and say that she had bought these ice cream sandwiches there the week before, only to get home and find that they were all freezer-burned. She was super aggressive and was angrily yelling at me, so I very politely asked her to please confirm which exact product she had bought so that we could take it from there.
She yelled the name of it at me. When I said the name back to her, she shouted “Yes, that one! That’s what I’ve been telling you this whole time, dummy!” So I just calmly said, “Ma’am, we discontinued that product over six months ago.” All of a sudden, she started to stutter a bit and then abruptly hung up. I was nineteen years old, it was the first job I had ever had, and that moment was SO SATISFYING.
31. High Time He Explained Himself
Ages ago I arranged a meeting with the local dope dealer through an acquaintance. I get ready, head out, and get to the meet-up location. I see a guy walking up to me, but he looks really familiar, even from far away. As he approached, my jaw dropped. Surprise surprise, it was my dad. My chino-wearing, dad-joke telling father is a secret dealer. Needless to say, major questions were asked on both sides.
32. Stop Me If You’ve Heard This One…
This guy I know was once telling a whole group of us the “glorious” story of how he epically struck out with a girl at the local bar. The only problem was, it was actually my story—and not even a good one, to be perfectly honest. That’s right, this guy was describing events that had happened to me, and presenting them as though they had happened to him.
I guess he was just trying to seem cool by pretending to have been the one involved. Now, there happened to be a few people among our group who had already heard this story from me, and they clearly recognized it. So, a couple of minutes in, everyone slowly begins shooting me glances as the guy is going on about it, obviously all knowing what’s going on.
No one said anything to him, and he just kept going and going, seemingly oblivious to the fact that I was the person who he had heard this story from in the first place. Presumably, he mistakenly thought he had heard it somewhere else. Eventually, I couldn’t resist. Right when he got to the end, I cut him off and said, “Oh, hold on, I remember how this went—it ends when she says ‘her girlfriend wouldn’t like that very much!'”
All of the blood instantly drained from the guy’s face as it suddenly hit him that I was the one he had stolen the story from. The rest of the group just burst out into laughter. I did feel sort of bad for him after, but oh well…
33. Awkward Dinner Date
I didn’t want to go to dinner with the gang from work, including my boss, so I told them I was having dinner with my wife and her parents. I lied. I get home, wife wants to go out to dinner. So, we head to the restaurant, and just as we’re getting near the door, I see the work gang with my loudmouth boss all piling out of their cars. What are the odds of us picking the same restaurant? Dang. Busted.
There was an old couple walking into the restaurant in front of us. I held the door for them and insisted they join us for dinner. They were quite perplexed but accepted my offer of a free dinner. It was the most uncomfortable dinner ever. They had no clue who we were, none of us had any shared interests… they rushed through dinner, thanked us, and got the hell away from what I’m sure they thought were a couple of weirdos.
34. Grandma’s Revelation
My step great-grandmother had a really sad life. Her first husband fell off a building and died, then she married my great-grandpa because she was destitute and he had money (women couldn’t really work back when she was young). Then on her deathbed, she told us the awful truth. It completely changed the way I thought of her.
She pushed her first husband off the roof to get his fortune, only to find out that he’d lost it in the stock market crash. Then she poisoned my real great-grandpa to get his money after he died. Grandma Velma was a stone cold liar and a complete and utter psycho.
35. Pregnant Disaster
I was pregnant with my oldest daughter and had extreme pain one day, so I came home early from work. When I get home I see two purses that definitely weren’t mine sitting on the stand. I head to my room to see if my boyfriend could explain the purses; I’m hearing noises coming from our room. I opened the door to peek in and he is with two other women. My life crumbled right in front of me, but I did what I had to do.
I was supposed to be on bedrest, but I was the only one who had a job, so I was going to school and working while he got to stay home all day. I was livid, but what was scary is that I was so furious that I remained calm. I went into the living room, sat on the couch and waited for them to come out; when they finally did I asked them if they had fun? I told them they needed to get out of my apartment.
He tried to talk to me, but I told him he needed to get out. I calmly packed off of his stuff up, had a friend come over because I couldn’t do heavy lifting being 7 months pregnant and dropped his stuff off at his parents’ house that night. It’s still shocking to me that I remained so calm being that angry.
36. Plot Twist
My friend had been dating this girl on Facebook for the longest time (around two years) and one night at a party got drunk and made out with a mutual friend. However, it was just a drunken fling with no attraction and as it turns out—he told the online girlfriend. She proceeded to lock him out of his Facebook profile (since he had given her his password) and for the next two hours following she uploaded every single nude photo he had sent her. Literally.
Cover Photo. Profile pic. Shared multiple photos of just my friend, in the nude, in multiple positions and angles. Sometimes with a cowboy hat. Other times with a ribbon around his nether regions. Needless to say, we all saw a bit too much of him. And that wasn’t even the worst part. It turns out at the end of it all, the girl wasn’t real. It was a group of guys playing a really sick prank on him.
37. Don’t Let Sleeping Babes Lie
I worked at a daycare and was told to never accept sleeping children. So if the mom or dad brought a sleeping baby, I immediately woke them up. This made parents angry, but it was policy. I used to think it was to help the child get on a schedule—until one day I found out the incredibly disturbing truth.
A grandma brought a sleeping baby but he wouldn’t wake up. Just raise his head, whimper, and go back to sleep. Immediately my boss called 911 and grandma was trying to down play “he had a rough night, he’s just tired, etc.” I knew this baby, he wouldn’t sleep if he thought he was going to miss out, and we had music playing and kids loudly singing. In the chaos, grandma slipped out.
Turns out Granny had a history of giving kids stuff to knock them out when she babysat, but this time she overdid it and the baby wouldn’t wake up. I think they pumped the kid’s stomach and he had a stay at the hospital. Legal actions were taken and the family moved away.
It turns out the policy was put in place because my boss knew that awful people have been known to do this. They’d break the kid’s arm, dose them, dump them with the sitter who lets the baby sleep all morning then because the kid was with the sitter all day, it’s easy to blame them for the baby’s injury. Or worse, the baby died and they do this to blame the sitter. So yea, to this day if I’m babysitting, I don’t accept sleeping children.
38. Greedy Landlord
When I moved out of a house I had been renting years ago, the landlady decided that she wanted to keep my security deposit. We had been on friendly terms for the 5+ years I had lived there, she even invited me to dinner parties at her house. I had been a model tenant, so I don’t know why she turned on me aside from pure greed. When I persisted in asking her for the money she started making up reasons to keep it, claiming that she had to do costly cleanup of some mess I allegedly left.
By luck, before things went sour I had arranged to store some furniture at the property until I was ready for it. When I went to retrieve it, it was obvious that the property was exactly as I had left it, and the details of what she had claimed were entirely false. She had no answer when I confronted her with this fact, and she finally grudgingly paid up. I still see her around and she tries to act like nothing ever happened, but she is dead to me. How someone can let a little money trump all reason and integrity is beyond me.
39. The Proof Is in The Ink
I asked my patient if he smoked, and he nodded sheepishly and told me that he did. That’s all fine, I note it down. Then I asked if he smoked anything other than tobacco, because cannabis is associated with certain conditions I have to be aware of. The patient gasps, gets sanctimonious, and then shakes his head vigorously. Five minutes later, his lies unraveled spectacularly.
I asked him to get undressed, but he wouldn’t remove his T-shirt. When I pressed him, he stared at the floor and then took his shirt off…to reveal a MASSIVE cannabis leaf tattoo on his chest.
40. Mission Less-Than-Plausible
My ex was in the Navy and had been deployed for a big portion of the 3 years we dated. Shortly after we moved in together, he said he was getting deployed again from February to October; the first of many lies. We Skyped for those first few months and I sent him care packages. In September, he suddenly told me that he wouldn’t be able to contact me until he was home, and it wasn’t until his homecoming party that I learned the heartbreaking truth of his deceit.
When the date of the party finally arrives, I’m happy to see him and everyone’s having a good time. My ex and his mom are speaking to each other in their native language (French Creole), and I can’t understand what they’re saying. His sister says to him (in English) that he needs to go to his mom’s house to help her clean out her gutters and change her air filter.
He says back, “Oh it’s okay, I did all that in September when I got home.” I think he forgot he was speaking English. I am stunned and honestly, I just left. I wouldn’t talk to him for two days. When I finally picked up the phone, he confessed that he had been living with his mom the past 2 months so he could “see other people” without hurting my feelings. I moved out and never talked to him again.
41. The Lie Becomes Real
Friend of mine started a job. Shortly after starting, they were having a company BBQ. He looked at the sausages and was grossed out by them for some reason. So he claimed he was Jewish to have a polite way to not partake. Lie snowballed and compounded, and he ended up converting. He is now Jewish.
42. A Chat to Remember
I met a guy named Josh online when I was younger. At the time I was too shy for phone calls, so for two years (from age 12 to 14 at this point) we would chat every day. I was completely in love with him, and then Josh got diagnosed with cancer about two years into our relationship. It was quick moving, sometimes I wouldn’t hear from him for days during his treatment.
I saved my allowance and did extra chores to send Josh flowers when I could, I considered myself an advocate for cancer research and volunteered for the cancer center and cried nightly. About six months after his diagnosis, I didn’t hear from Josh for a week. One day, his friend Kate logs on. She tells me Josh has died. She was so sorry, everyone at her school was devastated. My world stopped. My first love was gone.
About four years later, I get a message from a girl on Facebook. I have no idea who she is. She remembered my name though. What she told me changed everything. She said that she was Josh and that she had fabricated the entire thing because she was bored and wanted to see what would happen. She apologized for hurting me, but she didn’t know an ‘out’ at the time, and hoped I was doing well.
I don’t believe anyone on the internet is who they say they are anymore.
43. Falsus in Uno, Falsus in Omnibus
We used to know this girl who would compulsively lie about the littlest things—so we were always kind of wondering if she was lying about other things too. Mainly, we wondered if she was lying about having epilepsy. Well, she faked a fit in front of a group of us once at a party. She started pretending to shake, fell dramatically to the floor, and so on.
She then stopped, confirmed that people were looking and paying attention, and then continued. We told her to stop and that she was obviously faking it. It was painfully awkward.
44. Learning the Truth About Dad
I was always told by my family that my biological grandfather on mom’s side died in a rock climbing accident right before Mom was born. I found out what actually happened last year. I never could have seen it coming. It turns out that while he was still attending a military college in the South in the 60s, my grandmother discovered that he liked to wear women’s clothing after finding a box of dresses in his size in his closet.
The next day, she came back to find him hanging from the ceiling, and she and two of her brothers had to smuggle his body out of the room and convince a coroner to rule it an accident. I’m honestly not even sure of who all in the family knows the truth, but anyone who does sure as heck doesn’t talk about it.
45. Wingman With an Ulterior Plan
My friend was head-over-heels for his ex-girlfriend. He hasn’t gotten over her, and I’m scared that he never will. That’s why I can never tell him the truth about her—I’m terrified of what he would do if he found out.
The truth is, the girl’s a sociopath. She doesn’t care about anything she does when she’s angry, often making my friend her emotional punching bag. After a couple of breakups, as well as trips to the jailhouse for both of them, they both finally call it quits and my friend goes into a deep, deep depression.
So fast forward a couple of months and stuff is still at square one for him, but the only difference is that she actually moved on. And not only has she moved on, but she actually started seeing another one of my close friends. Now I’ve been keeping this to myself because my friend is nowhere near ready to take this news. He thinks I’m going through a phase where I’m OBSESSED with going out and meeting different girls but in reality, I’m trying to push him off on different girls, so he will forget the sociopath. I hope he never learns the truth.
46. Grandma, What Sharp Lies You Have
My step-grandmother, a woman with Munchausen’s, has been hanging out at hospitals and doctors’ offices for decades. I don’t know how she manages to convince every doctor that she is sick. She’s 98 years old, strong, and all of the health issues she has had in the last 20 years, despite her old age, are things she inflicts on herself. It’s chilling, but it’s true.
I’m not convinced that doctors always know when it’s being faked, because whenever we—her family—try to intervene, the doctor is already convinced that she needs treatment and moves forward, no matter how much we insist that she is not sick. She convinced a doctor she had leukemia. She has NO written diagnosis of leukemia. She kept that one up for 10 years. By “kept that one up,” I mean she received chemo, had cancer medication, everything—with no diagnosis.
Unless every doctor in my city is book smart and not street-smart, then I just don’t know. I refuse to believe that every doctor is an idiot, but I also don’t think they know everything if she can literally fall though all of the cracks.
47. The Wearing of the Green
I was at a music festival that requires guests to wear a white bracelet, while the musicians are required to wear a green one. This random guy was trying to impress a female friend of mine. He was telling her that he’s a musician and that he’s playing a gig the next day and that she should come watch. He was using the musician thing to basically get her to like him.
I was there with her the whole time, listening to the guy. Finally, at the end of his long session of bragging and attempted flirting, I just bluntly asked him why he was wearing a general admission white bracelet instead of a green one. He was confused. I then explained to him how the bracelets worked.
My friend and I had a nice little chuckle while he awkwardly walked away.
48. Thanks for Sticking Your Nose in, Sis
My sister lied to a social worker to have us investigated for child abuse and neglect, leading to our foster child being removed from our home even though the claims were found to be false. She also spread the gossip that we were being investigated which hurt some friendships.
That foster child she got removed? Not only did she mess up that baby’s life, she also destroyed my other kids because one day their sibling was home and the next gone with no warning. We had prepared them for foster kids leaving but this foster child was within weeks of being adopted by us.
To this day my sister maintains that she did the right thing because we “didn’t need more kids.”
49. Nothing Heals a Heart
A fairly attractive Asian girl started messaging me in a chat room on gay.com. I am lesbian, so the gay.com chatrooms for the women weren’t really known for having bots. She comes on strong and actually shows a lot of interest in me even though I didn’t really have much interest in her at first since she was in Florida and I’m in Oklahoma.
I actually start to really like her and think maybe we could really hit it off if we met. We started talking/texting pretty much 24/7. Then she tells me about how she can’t date anyone locally because her dad is a marine engineer and builds multimillion-dollar yachts for famous people. I don’t really believe it at first, but then she takes it to the next level.
She starts mailing me all these fairly expensive things like clothes, flowers, gift cards, etc. to ‘prove’ it, even though I tell her I didn’t really want them.The weird thing is she wouldn’t tell me her last name and would be very weird about it, saying if I found it out I could Google it and it’ll pull up her dad’s yacht business and I could see how rich they really are.
She said she wanted to make sure that I really wanted to be with her and wasn’t just in it for the money….Even though she kept sending me gifts without me asking to “prove” her wealth. She also said she was a head hair stylist at Tony&Guy and made $700/day in tips. Anyway, one of the gifts she sent the company sent a receipt slip that had her last name on it.
I Googled it, and nothing really pulled up. Even (name) Yachts, nothing. (Name) yachts Florida, nothing. Nothing at all came up for it. Things started to seem weird, so I called the Tony&Guy she claimed she worked at and asked if I could schedule with her. No one worked there with that name. I waited a couple days to tell her that her name came on the receipt.
When I did she flipped out and said I was crazy, and that she was going to stop talking to me anyway because she has cancer, then hung up on me and disconnected the number within minutes. It was so weird. I don’t know what the point of that catfish was, I’m the one who got a bunch of stuff, and I didn’t even ask for any of it.
50. We All Scream for Ice Cream
My best friend’s favorite story is from when she was working at McDonald’s. She was on drive-thru duty and a guy came by complaining about some bad ice cream that he had purchased earlier. That’s when everyone who worked there gathered around the window to watch. My friend casually let this person know that they haven’t had a working ice cream machine at this location in over four months. Person had no reply.
51. Evaluating the Evaluation
I was being evaluated for job performance by a boss who clearly had an ax to grind with me. Naturally, she wrote up an unflattering report. She was not impressed when I went to her supervisor and brought up the fact that she had never actually observed me on the job, that her report had changed three or four times before the final one had come out, and that she had contradicted her previous report from only three months prior in her final one. It was painfully clear to everyone that the eval was completely biased.
52. The Unwelcome Additions
My stepfather jilted his fiancée the day before the wedding. He had a long-time sweetheart in his home country, and they planned to marry once he had built a life in the US and had obtained citizenship. Four years later, he sent a letter to his family letting him know that he was coming to visit for a week and to let the fiancée know that he wanted to see her.
She and their families assumed that he finally wanted to marry that week, as planned, so they set up the wedding. But they were in for a cruel surprise. Imagine their faces when he showed up with a wife and two-year-old child. I don’t know what he said to his fiancée, but she hung herself after he formally called their wedding off. It was incredibly heartbreaking.
He ended up having to pack up my mom and the baby and flee the area the following morning because the fiancée’s family blamed him for her death.
53. Sleeping Beauty
EMS here. I had a patient who pretended to suddenly be paralyzed. Very dramatic, on the floor, saying she couldn’t feel anything below her neck. After assessing her, we had her stand and get on to the stretcher. Which she did without difficulty. Despite being “totally paralyzed.” In the ambulance, she told me how she “sometimes goes code blue” and said that if that happens I must NOT rub her chest or cause her pain.
The best way to revive her was to turn the lights low and talk softly and soothingly to her. She told me all about how she “went code blue” in the hospital over a dozen times last time she was admitted, and how the doctors were so scared they almost couldn’t revive her. During transport, I asked her for her birth date. Instead of responding, she did something ridiculous.
Her eyes fluttered shut and she went quiet. We drove in silence for several minutes while I worked on documenting the very detailed and unrealistic story she told me. Eventually, her eyes fluttered open and her hand went to her chest. She says “Oh! I think I went code blue there for a minute!” I replied, “Nope! No worries, you didn’t!”
I continued, “You’re totally fine and your vitals were pristine! You don’t have to worry, you’re safe! So, what’s your birth date?” She looked super annoyed.
54. Mike Drop
My ex once told me that she was sick and that she therefore couldn’t go out with me that night. Fine, whatever. Well, I had previously been introduced to her best friend. For some reason, her best friend was mad at her on that particular night, and so she decided to call me up and let me know that my girlfriend was cheating on me with some guy named Mike.
She even told me what street he lived on. So, I drive down this street looking for her very unique car, with its easily-identifiable personalized license plate. At first, I didn’t see it anywhere. Then, as I’m starting to drive away, I suddenly notice that there’s a little alley behind the houses. Sure enough, there was her car.
I go back to the front door and knock. Some dude answers and I say “Is Mike here?” “Yeah, he’s up in his room” he says, pointing up the stairs by the door. “First door on the right?” “No, left.” Then this dude just stands aside to let me in. I walk up the stairs, open the door, and feel my heart break: there’s my girlfriend putting her shirt back on.
“Hey guys, what’s going on?” I say. All she says is “WHAT THE HECK???!!!” while the dude ducks back into bed to hide under the blankets. She immediately goes into crazy-person mode, asking me how I found her and how I got inside, while this guy just keeps on saying “Dude, I did NOT know that she had a boyfriend! Why didn’t you tell me?” over and over again.
He was a short “little feller,” and at the time I was in the army and in the best shape of my life. The situation was so messed up that I just had to giggle a bit, but I quickly returned to reality and walked out of there before I lost control and physically hurt someone. The roommate who had let me in, even after hearing all the commotion, was just sitting there playing Playstation. I nodded to him on my way out and said “thanks” before continuing out the door.
55. He Would Have Found out Eventually Anyway…
My buddy was dating my roommate. They then broke up, which made things awkward for me. Well, after a few days, she suddenly went all crazy on him and told him that they needed to get back together right away because she was pregnant. A few days later, I started noticing that the stash of feminine products that my roommate always kept under the sink was mysteriously dwindling away.
Upon hearing this news from me, I’ve never seen a more relieved person in my life. He called her out on it and they broke up again—this time for good.
56. Mormon Baptism
When I was 16, I humored some Mormon missionaries to make my best friend and his family happy (they were Mormon). So after a few home “lessons” about the LDS church I had already shown a lot of fake support and interest. Being awkward, I didn’t want to admit to not being interested.
When they asked if I wanted to be baptized weeks later, I said yes, imagining I’d eventually back out. I didn’t. Instead, I became an atheist Mormon. I didn’t know it yet, but things would get even crazier. After months of living this double life, attending church, etc, my mom decided to show support by becoming Mormon. I was mortified.
My recovering Catholic dad pulls me aside and asks me if I really believe this stuff. I explained everything to him and he thought it was hilarious. I also made him promise not to tell Mom because, again, awkward and too far deep. She asked me to baptize her and I refused. This insulted her.
Fast forward a year or so and I distanced myself from church people while still maintaining the close relationship with my friend and his family. It’s been 12 years now, and we still hang out weekly and nobody considers me Mormon. I never explained this to him.
57. Ignoring the Truth
Growing up, I never knew how my mother died, and I was told my father just “disappeared.” I remember throwing a tantrum in middle school for wanting to know what really happened to my parents. My aunt finally told me the truth. I remember crying alone in my room for hours as she revealed the truth: that my parents died from AIDS in the early 90s when I was 2.
My family hasn’t mentioned it since then, and I’m now 27. As far as I know, we’ve never said the words HIV or AIDS aloud in my family. If it must be talked about, it’s “that disease” or something similar.
58. Trauma from the Past
I’m the liar. There are two things I will hide from my daughter forever. The first is that she had an identical twin who didn’t survive, and the second is that the man she knows as her father is not her father.
I was in an abusive relationship and the biological father decided he would rather us both be dead if I didn’t want to be with him, so he started driving into oncoming traffic. I reacted by fleeing the vehicle at 45 mph because I saw a cop car parked a block away. I opened the door and grabbed my knees and tucked my head and rolled out and ended up really bruised and sore and killed one of the babies. But I made it to the police and never saw him again.
She thinks her biological dad was a soldier who died in combat.
My grandmother had 5 sisters. They were all super close. One of them got cancer (this was in the 1960s) and they all decided not to tell the daughter (who was 12 at the time) of the sick one that her mother was dying because her father had just died a couple months prior. So the daughter just woke up one day and the mother had died.
Unsurprisingly, when the aunts explained why they didn’t tell her, she did not feel comforted.
60. Not Worth the Mileage
My best friend had been talking to this girl online for a really long time. He was planning on driving to Texas (we live in north Georgia) to visit her. When he told her that he was going to drive over to see her, she confessed that she was actually an overweight 43-year-old lady. He was 23 at the time. He doesn’t like to talk about it…
61. Surprise Delivery
When I was an intern, I was doing my ER rotation, and a woman in her late 30s came in complaining of nausea and lower abdominal discomfort for the last few days. I did the diligent history taking and, of course, asked her about the possibility of her being pregnant. She lost her mind and went off on me. She said she was a lesbian woman and had not been with a man for 10 years.
She yelled at me to get my boss and let an “adult” treat her. I reported back to my attending and described the tests I wanted done. He was like,”I didn’t hear a plan for a pregnancy test,” and I was like: “I don’t think that’s needed…she’s a lesbian and hasn’t been with a man in 10 years.” My attending smiled and said: “Humor me.” She was pregnant as heck. But that wasn’t even the worst part.
Went back to her room and there were two dudes mugging one another, about to fight. She couldn’t even look me in the eye.
62. Lying Is an Art
I work in the custom framing department at a craft store and there’s this one woman who always talks down to all the employees. Her husband is rich and she shouldn’t be kept waiting blah blah blah and she always tries to get ridiculous discounts. This glass has a scratch on it? Oh, sorry, I’ll just replace it real quick. Nope. She wants to be upgraded to museum glass (a $90 difference) because I made her wait a few minutes to fix a scratch that only she could see. She’s the worst.
Anyway, she came in one day with a painting she wants re-framed. And then emphasizes that it was her grandmother who painted it and it has such sentimental value. Also, her grandmother was a professional painter so it’s probably worth like so much money. It’s a generic painting of flowers in a vase and I’m like 80% sure at that point it’s not really that old. She’s just playing it up so when she gets the art back she can point out a flaw in it that we caused and she can demand we give her the whole frame for free.
So I’m taking the canvas out of the old frame and she’s reminding me that it’s super valuable. I take off the dust cover on the back and lo and behold there’s a sticker already there: Clearance: $19.99. I wish I had a photo of her face when she saw that.
63. PM’d Into a Love Triangle
I’d been chatting with a girl online for quite some time and we decided to meet. I drove 50 miles to her house and we had an amazing night together—but the next morning, events took an utterly chilling turn. I woke up to the sight of an enormous man ripping a window off its hinges and climbing in the bedroom. Turns out, this girl had a fiance. He was absolutely furious, and I was scared for my life. I managed to talk him down and explain the situation, but just as I thought I was out of the woods, the girl managed to make everything so much worse.
She had called the police and accused him of breaking and entering. During the time the police were questioning him, I made my escape and high-tailed it out of there.
64. Sick Lie
I used to work at a grocery store where one of my coworkers was constantly calling in sick, claiming she had one illness or another. Management couldn’t just can her for it as we were unionized, so she had protection unless she could be caught in a bald faced lie. One Friday I get called in to cover her shift because she “needed a kidney transplant.”
On her next shift on Monday she’s wandering around with gauze wrapped around her stomach and back claiming that she had that kidney transplant on the weekend. Apparently, she had been so sick that they rushed her into surgery and put her at the top of the transplant list! I was disgusted. It was shameless, even for her.
That’s when I stop her and say “Isn’t the recovery time on a transplant at least a month or two? The hospital shouldn’t have let you out.” Realizing I’ve caught her in a lie she rushes to the front desk, claims she shouldn’t be here and that she needs to go home or she’ll pop her surgery stitches.
A few days later she was fired when she couldn’t provide proof of the surgery, she tried to sue but no lawyer would take her case. It was hilarious.
65. No More Birthdays
A new coworker of mine tried downplaying his bday and eventually after me hounding him about why he didn’t like celebrating, he eventually told me the real reason…and it was devastating: in confidence, he revealed that his best friend was killed on his birthday and he hates thinking about it.
Fast forward eight years—this guy and I had become really good friends. Best friends. Lived together at one point. He was accepted into my friend group and I always made sure to downplay his bday (his is four days after another friend) so we just did a group thing and never made a big deal about it.
Finally, someone got brave enough and wanted to talk to him about it, and he laughed and had no recollection of telling me that and said he was probably just screwing with me. He always wondered why no one wished him a happy bday.
66. Dial-Up for Murder
When I was about 7 years old my mom was online dating on AOL (it was about 1996). She started talking to this one guy and eventually he planned to fly to where we lived and meet her. He claimed to have his doctorate degree and told her he had published a well-known book. She searched for the book and eventually she searched it in some online database and found nothing. His lies before they met got worse.
Something led my mom to go to the police and they said he was actually a wanted man for previously attempting to kill women. The police used my mom to catch the guy at this point, he agreed to fly down here, and she was having him meet her at her office. When he arrived, the police were there to arrest him.
67. Caught Red-Handed
I was around 15 years old and had a package delivered to my house. My neighbor came over, paced back and forth in front of the door before smoothly opening our gate, coming to the door, and picking up my package. I opened the door as she was walking off and she turned white as a ghost when she heard the door open.
When I asked her what she was doing with my package, she explained to me that she was going to protect it for me, that she didn’t know it was mine (?), before I demanded she hand over my package and leave.
I snapped at this lady, which was abnormal for shy little 15-year-old me. I was furious because what was inside that package was a gift for my mother, who was at work at the time. I’ll never forget that.
68. Caught with Your Hands on the Joystick
I actually worked with this lady at the time. She was good looking and very flirtatious. Most importantly: we both played World of Warcraft at its prime. She ended up inviting me to join her server and being a lonely 20-something, I, of course, joined up. We played for a time and had a good PVP group going—her regulars.
Of course, she was still flirty with me in game and I was flirty back, all in group chat. Either way, we had some great times together slaying players in PVP. Summer comes and it’s a company BBQ, I find out she is bringing one of our PVP partners to the event. Cool! It was her husband. A cop. I’ve been virtually sexting her in the game in front of him for at least three months.
69. Dad’s Tragedy
My dad never let me go on ferris wheels when we went to theme parks. He always said it was because they were dangerous and he didn’t want me to get hurt. It wasn’t a lie, but it definitely wasn’t the whole truth either. After he died, my uncle shared the real story. It immediately broke my heart.
My dad was madly in love with a girl when he was 17 years old. They were soul mates, lovers meant to be, engaged to be married and grow old together… all that sweet jazz. They went to the county fair one year and decided to ride the Ferris Wheel. About the time they got to the top and started heading back down the safety bar came unhooked and swung open. My dad grabbed her and held onto the seat. He tried to hold her but he couldn’t. She fell to her death.
My dad never mentioned it, never said a word to anyone, even to my mom. My uncle said her death broke his heart and he was never the same again, until after I was born.
70. Mess With My Mom and We’ll Have Issues
My mom met a guy online. He said he worked for an oil drilling company and was off in the middle of the ocean on an oil platform. Then he told my mom that his daughter was in some dancing competition in another country, and she had fallen and broken her leg and he couldn’t send her any money for the medical bills, and that he needed my mom to send thousands of dollars to some account, and that he would pay her back three times over when he came back into the country, and then he would basically take her away to paradise, and she would live in happiness forever.
I told her that he was trying to rip her off. She wouldn’t believe me, or any of our family or her friends. She insisted that we all wanted her to be unhappy, but in the end, she didn’t give him a penny, thank God.
She tried to explain why she wouldn’t to him, but he kept hounding her about it. So I took it upon myself to teach him a lesson. I used one of those websites where they catch these sorts of people, and after telling them info about this guy, they confirm that he is a known con artist who scams women with this story. My mom was devastated.
Seeing her cry was too much. I sent him an anonymous, very threatening email, telling him that he had better confess everything or I would use my hacking skills to reveal his personal information to the police. Obviously, this was a bluff, but he fell for it. My mother received an email from him confessing everything.
71. In the Crosshairs of a Shaky Alibi
Paramedic here. A woman was shot. We arrive on scene and she has a single gunshot wound in her right thigh, minimal bleeding, and she is standing up and limping while talking to the police. She is very polite and nice and thanks us for coming to help her. She said she was walking in the parking lot of a restaurant when she saw a blue car drive by.
Then someone leaned out with a pistol, and then she felt something hit her leg. We help her to the truck, I bandage her wound, give her some pain medicine and on the to the hospital we go. She jokes about how she’s in the wrong place and the wrong time and is having an unlucky day. Oh, how I wish I’d been suspicious at the time.
We arrive at the ER, and I’m giving my report to the trauma team there when an officer on scene quietly comes into the room. I’m telling the patient’s story to the docs when the cop gets this huge grin on his face then nods at me to come outside. What he told me blows my mind. First, he told me that a blue car pulled up just when we left the scene.
Then, the cops checked the camera to see my patient inside the restaurant, yelling at the driver of the blue car. They leave the restaurant trying to get away from her, but my patient is chasing her. The video from the parking lot then shows my patient going to her vehicle and getting a pistol out. She starts to run after the other person. There’s a flash on the camera and the patient starts limping.
Ladies and gents, she shot herself in her leg.
72. Three Is Not Company
I made friends with two girls, let’s call them Maisie and Maya, and we all got on great. We planned to have sleepovers, just generally have fun. The first day we met up went really well! We all had a good time; I thought it went brilliantly. But whenever I tried to get us all together, they were suddenly busy. It was like no times worked for all three of us. Then a few weeks later, I found out the awful truth.
They were carrying out all the plans without me. They still have sleepovers to this day when Maya is back from university, and I’m just left out. I don’t speak to either of them anymore. It hurt.
73. It Takes Two to Game a Relationship
A guy I knew in college met a girl online and spent every day talking about her. She lived about six hours away, so he planned to take a semester off and pursue this relationship. He got a job in her town and asked if I’d help him move out there, since my car would hold more than he could take on a bus. I had a long weekend off and figured why not?
A road trip cold be fun. I’d drive him out as a goodbye present, and the way back I planned to visit Yellowstone. Well…we arrive, and it turns out he doesn’t have an apartment lined up and while he found a job posting in his girlfriend’s town, he hadn’t actually gotten the job. Or even applied yet. I make a bunch of phone calls and find him a room to rent that will let him move in that day with just first, last, and deposit, even without a job.
I’m tired and disgusted with his lack of planning, but figure it’s worth staying the night and trying to end things on good terms with my buddy. Then he breaks down and confesses the truth: He hasn’t actually met this girl. The nights he spent “video chatting” with her were really just him watching her vlog and jacking it. They’ve never talked. Never texted.
Never even emailed. Hell, he’s never even left so much as a comment or “like” on one of her videos. She genuinely didn’t (still doesn’t) know he existed. His plan was to hang out at this game shop she talks a lot about, until she showed up and somehow create a relationship from that. He thought that they’d meet, and she’d fall in love with him and move back to our college town to marry him…all before the next semester began.
That didn’t happen. Instead, I made my “buddy” buy a bus ticket for his ride back to school and left. He came back to school and got more cringey, not less. I lost track of him after that.
74. The Hidden Kin
Found out through an angry vent given by my mother, that most of my cousins aren’t legitimate, and most of my aunts had lied to their husbands about the true father of their children. Also found out that there was a very large niche of the family I had never met and that no one really admits to—because they’re all inbred.
75. Nightmare Couch
My girlfriend and I arranged to buy a couch off of a couple in a fairly bad neighborhood. After a hassle of trying to find the place, we get in the apartment, the couch is in REALLY good condition, and it was retail listed for $1200 while we were paying $500. The sellers keep reassuring us that it’s the best couch ever, they just bought another one because they’re changing the decor. You know the saying, “If it sounds too good to be true, it is”? We learned it was true the hard way.
They were moving the next day and really needed to sell it. As I’m carrying one of the sections of the couch out with the guy, I see a bug scuttle across it. The guy flicks it off with a quickness and looks at me with the most apprehensive stare ever. Long story short, the couch was absolutely infested with roaches, like I’m talking thousands INSIDE THE COUCH. They knew.
76. Period Pain
One of my staff (who is, unfortunately, family with the owner so he’s not getting canned anytime soon) is the biggest liar I have ever met. We’ll call him Jim. He lies about everything, regardless of importance. He’s been caught in lies multiple times and really just doesn’t care. If someone is sick, guaranteed he will be off the next day having “caught” whatever someone had.
My whole department is female (5 females) except for him. One day almost all of us were suffering from some horrible period cramps. Everyone was complaining about the pain but no one said it was because of their period, because it’s usually pretty obvious why. The HR department has a wonderful supply of meds and so I had to empty their stock of midol and heat pads. Some of the staff was teasing that they will bring chocolate as a peace offering before entering our department.
The next day he emails in that he’s sick and he caught the horrible stomach bug all the ladies in the department had. He’s so sore he can’t move, has a migraine, blah blah. Word spread quickly and Jim has forever been mocked as the dude who had to take time off work for his period. He won’t be let go but he does get his pay docked when he flakes off like this. It was worth it to be able to make fun of him forever.
77. Liar Liar Pants on Fire
My aunt married a guy a few years back. He was a pathological liar and lied about literally everything for no reason. Tried to convince everyone he was in the military “black ops” and that there was no record of him because it was “secret.” He also did a lot of other messed up stuff like threatening our family members and friends, and other things. He actually even tried to kill my uncle and my two cousins, but got his butt properly beat down with a baseball bat.
Long story short, my aunt ended up divorcing him later ’cause he was an all around freaking jerk, and he came to her house, rang the doorbell, then shot himself in the head with a handgun right on her doorstep. Real messed up.
78. No Way Baby
Had a patient fake a ruptured ectopic pregnancy to get narcotics. Says she was diagnosed with an ectopic at another hospital and given medication to end it. Came into our hospital in extreme abdominal pain, rolling around, yelling, had vaginal bleeding, the whole nine yards. Gave her a bunch of pain medication so we could get an ultrasound. The results were chilling.
Ultrasound showed nothing. Urine pregnancy test showed nothing. Beta HCG was 0. Turns out she was conveniently on her period which made the whole thing very convincing. Got records from the other hospital, patient had been there yesterday but was not pregnant for them, nor was she diagnosed with an ectopic pregnancy. Definitely was a “wow she just made up this entire thing.”
We had a lovely conversation about all the results. She ended up screaming at me, threatening to sue me for all I’m worth and stormed out. Joke’s on her I’m worth -200K of student loan debt.
79. Who Needs Soaps When You Have AIM?
Back when AIM was all the rage, I started exchanging messages with a young woman. She described herself as being petite, attractive, and physically active, and the pictures that she sent seemed to confirm those claims. For a while, we discussed standard (boring) teenage topics… but eventually, our conversations took a turn for the bizarre.
One evening as we were talking, she told me a story about how she and her twin sister had “switched boyfriends” in the middle of the night. They were caught, and neither boy was particularly pleased about the situation… so in order to make it up them, the girls agreed to have a foursome.
The tale struck me as being more than a little bit odd, but I could see no reason for someone to lie about it, so I went right on believing.
Things got stranger from there.
As the months progressed, I was treated to a dramatic saga of epic proportions. First, the girl’s twin sister was killed in a car crash that also ended her father’s life. Not long after, her mother was killed in an accident (which was strongly implied as having been a suicide). The girl herself—being under eighteen—was sent to live with her uncle, who forced her to work at a strip club in order to pay the rent.
When I asked how she, a sixteen-year-old girl, was allowed to work there, she told me that “the fire marshal said it was okay.” A week or two later, she attempted a suicide of her own, but was caught by her piano teacher.
That was about the time that the alarm bells in my head drowned out my sense of trust. I went back and reappraised everything that she had told me, and I noticed some rather glaring inconsistencies. After coming to terms with the fact that I’d been blatantly lied to for months, I started calling out every potential untruth that I spotted, and I gave the girl an ultimatum: Unless she came clean about who she was, I would cut off contact with her entirely.
She protested at first, going through such acts as being angry that I didn’t believe her and depressed because her “only real friend” had stopped trusting her word. Still, I stayed adamant, and eventually, she agreed to let me see her on webcam.
It turned out that she was an impressively overweight girl who bore absolutely no resemblance to the pictures that she had sent me. Her stories—or so she claimed—were all invented to “keep me interested,” because (according to her) I wouldn’t have kept talking to her if I’d known who she really was.
Truth be told, she was probably right. Still, I made an effort to keep conversing with her after that, and to learn who she really was… but I never felt like I could trust anything that she said, and eventually, we just stopped talking entirely.
At least I never tried to meet her in person… which is more than I can say for the second time that I got catfished.
That’s another story, though.
80. The Ties That Bind Us
I created a binder for a hotel that my company owns and filled it with forms and templates. I highlighted and wrote clear explanations of everything on each page. About a month later, I go over to the property to assist with some things, and the GM brings out the binder and says, “yeah, I just put this together as a tool for us here.”
I immediately tell him, “No, you didn’t. I made that and gave it to you.” His face went white as he tried to recover by saying, “Well, I added a few things.” He didn’t. I definitely loved the faces of my colleagues when I went back to the office and told them all about it!
81. The Real Cancer Is Your Lies
I knew a guy who said that he had thyroid cancer, which later spread to lung cancer, then later spread to “unknown” cancer. His radiation treatment made him radioactive, so he had to spend nearly every day at his camper (it was over the summer, so he had a camper at a camping site), while his wife stayed home with his five children. It gets so much worse.
He had these mysterious “special treatments” in Chicago, so he needed money from his family to go to Cancer Center of America for the treatments. No one was allowed inside with him due to “top level” security, so if anyone went to Chicago with him, they had to stay at the hotel all day while he was gone. He also got money from fundraisers through his church for vacations with his wife.
He was granted extra vacation at work, burned through it, burned through his FMLA, and eventually quit his job. Because he was so sick and couldn’t work, other people started paying his bills. When asked by one of the friends to prove that he has cancer and was in treatment, he said he couldn’t get access to his medical records because he is taking an “experimental special treatment.”
When asked for the name of the clinic, he named a very small private practice clinic in a town of about 1,000 people (it is not an oncology clinic). He said that the cancer technician there gives him the treatments, but he couldn’t reveal the name of the medications due to security reasons. He also said he could not give the name of the doctor due to security reasons.
It went on like this for over a year. Finally, he declared one day that he was cured. A party was thrown in his honor. Money poured in to pay his remaining medical expenses (no bills were ever produced as evidence). Not a single person ever attended a medical appointment with him. No proof was ever seen (no bottles of medicine, etc.). His physical appearance never changed. It was insane.
82. Being Forward With Her
My ex-girlfriend tried to prove to me that her ridiculous lie was true by creating a fake email account and using it to fabricate a “forwarded” email to me—to supposedly prove that a certain made-up person and event were real. But I suspected her all along, and I came up with a plan to expose her.
I copied the email address and tried to log into it. I hit “reset password”and it prompted me with the question Yahoo gives when resetting a password: “Complete the phone number associated with the account.” I put my ex’s cell number in, and she miraculously got a “reset password” text message at that exact moment.
That’s when she finally admitted to the lie. It was just like I expected: She made it up because she was seeing someone else on the side. I dumped her then and there.
83. Band on the Run
I met this dude who wanted to join my band. He said he was a huge Pearl Jam and Rolling Stones fan. So, just for the heck of it, I asked him if he was also a fan of the band “Stone Sessions”—a fictional band that I just made up on the spot. He told me that he had every single one of their albums. The look on his face was priceless when I told him that I had just made up the band!
84. You Used to Call Me on My Cell Phone
My ex-husband: “No, I am not having an affair!”
Me: “Well then why do I have two hundred pages worth of IMs, texts, and emails with explicit content sent between you and this girl?”
Him: “I, uh, I was hacked!”
Me: “For 4 and a half years?”
Me: “How did the hackers get these 37 photos of you in the nude?”
Him: (and I kid you not, he really said this): “That’s not me.”
Spoiler: it was definitely him. It clearly showed his unique birthmark, his pasty fatness, and every other distinguishing feature about him. Nice try, hubby!
85. The One Who Was Holding and One Who Wasn’t
Patient comes in saying she has terrible abdominal pain. I say okay and start to examine her. She immediately starts screaming the moment I touch her belly. But look, I’ve seen patients in terrible pain, and nobody has ever yelled in pain with their eyes open. She wasn’t even tensing or anything. In the end, it was the saddest case I’ve ever had.
It turns out that this lady has a history of coming in, saying she’s pregnant when the urine and blood test are clearly negative. In one case she even tried to steal a pregnant patient’s urine (she got caught pretty fast). She was on psych follow-up. I’m not sure what the diagnosis was but my guess would have been Munchausen’s. Anyway, we sent her home without pain meds.
86. Cheater Cheater
I dated this guy off and on for about a year. Things didn’t always add up but I was young and dumb and made excuses. During that year his mom passed away from pancreatic cancer, he relapsed and then went to rehab, and after he got out he moved a few states away for a fresh start near where his grandparents lived. We decided we were done at that point but he still emailed occasionally and a couple times he’d randomly show up on my doorstep saying he was in town and needed to see me.
After one such surprise visit I emailed him and said that I couldn’t keep doing this and to please not come by anymore. A year or so passed and I got a bug up my butt one night to google him. And found a baby registry with his name on it. Looked up the baby mama on Facebook and found pictures of them living together just a few hours away during the time that he and I were dating.
I was able to determine that when we first started seeing each other they weren’t together, but when he was supposedly in California and missed me so much and didn’t want to be with anyone else he was actually just a few hours away with her. But that wasn’t even the worst part. The real kicker: his mom was still alive too.
It became clear to me that he was a pathological liar and I’d basically fallen in love with someone that didn’t really exist. Here’s the satisfying part – literally the next day he showed up on my doorstep. The first thing I said is “Where’s W (baby mama)? Does she know you’re here?” His face dropped, he started stammering making excuses that I didn’t know what was really going on. He even insisted that his mom was dead. I felt like I was in a girl power movie moment as I told him to get off my porch and never come see me again.
87. Hit Reply All
When I got divorced we “shared” a lawyer because it was amicable and we just agreed to keep our own stuff and move on. I was getting ready to deploy to Afghanistan in less than a week so I’m anxious to get everything done before I leave. So I get emailed the finalized divorce documents and my ex mentions my half of costs was around $2000.
What she didn’t know is she had forwarded me the whole email chain with the lawyer where they discussed final billing. Turns out the total amount owed was actually about $800. So I replied and said I’d be paying $400 and explained her mistake. Her reply was simply “whatever. I don’t care.” So much for an amicable break up…
88. Because You’re Mine, I Walk the Line
I’m an EMT. One day, I was getting the patient to take him to the doctor. I asked him if he could stand. The wife told me he hasn’t walked in 30 years. Lo and behold, The dude stands up unassisted and walks to the stretcher. I’ve been in this work a long time and simply don’t give a darn about a lot of stuff. So I blurt out exactly what’s on my mind.
“HOLY MOLY, ITS A MIRACLE!!” I say. I was prepared to get in trouble…. never happened…
89. Olympic-Sized Lies
Oohhh boy. So in college, I had this friend who was a very good pole vaulter. Seriously, one of the top in the state for his division. This was back in 2008. He tells ALL of his family, and friends, and even his boss that he was recruited to compete in the Beijing Olympics. Well his close friends, including myself, already smell a lie, but when the “day” comes he is nowhere to be found. In fact, we didn’t see him for a couple of days, and he started texting pics from Beijing.
So we were doubting ourselves a bit. Then we were driving along the freeway, and guess who’s broken down on the side of the road like two days after he left? Mr. Olympian! When we pulled over the look on his face was priceless. He stood by his story too, and said because of the time difference he already went and came back. Haha he’s an idiot. I still don’t know what he had to gain from such an elaborate fake story. Bonus, all the “pics from Beijing” were from a google image search of Beijing Olympics.
I once had a very crazy roommate who I had found on Craigslist during a fit of desperation when I was very poor and had just left an abusive ex. Me and my crazy roomie shared a bunk bed in a master bedroom in a home that was owned by our landlords. We had this arrangement where we would alternate who bought the toilet paper for the house.
One time, I bought a really big pack of the stuff. Halfway through the big pack, the rest of it just disappeared. She then bought a puny little pack of four from the dollar store, and accused our landlords of having stolen the rest of what I had bought. I had a hunch—so one day when she was out, I went rifling through her stuff.
Sure enough, I found the rest of the toilet paper that I had bought hidden in her dirty laundry hamper. After washing my hands about 10 times, I stowed it in the trunk of my car (along with everything else valuable that I owned), and didn’t bring it up again. I just sat back and waited for her to bring it up to me.
She came to me the next day, nervous and stammering incoherently about how it was her friend who had misplaced the toilet paper. She had obviously noticed it was gone and assumed that I had found it. I simply said “Oh, you found it! Where was it?”—to which she had no response. The next time it was my turn to buy the toilet paper, I bought just one roll—almost daring her to say anything about it.
I only stayed in that house for another month because I had already paid for it—but she got kicked out even before I left for messing up one of the rooms while the landlord and his family were away. Dorthy (no, that’s not a misspell) was a real class act. I have so many awful stories about her, especially considering that we only lived together for two months.
91. She Walked Right Into That One…
My boyfriend used to work the third shift at a popular gas station on the East coast. He worked with one of those notoriously terrible coworkers who calls in sick all the time with a ton of wild excuses. Well, one night, she called in saying that she was sick, that she was vomiting and feverish, and that she was sorry, but there was no way that she could come in.
The only person available to take her shift that night was the district manager, who happened to be in the area for a meeting. So, the district manager comes in and works the cash register with my boyfriend. At around 3 in the morning, who should walk in but the supposedly sick coworker! Oh, but it gets even better than that.
She was clearly wasted beyond belief and had innocently come in to buy two rolls of Tums, thinking that one of her friends would be there filling in for her. When she reached the front of the checkout line to discover that the district manager was the one who had actually taken her shift that night, she was fired on the spot.
92. Wizard of Disguise
My ex-boyfriend met a girl on WoW who lives in Texas. He lives in the Midwest. They talked for many months via WoW and email, but never via video chat. He told his parents about her as things were getting more serious, and they agreed to let her visit and stay at their house for a week so he and her could meet in person. The flight was bought for her, they discussed how excited they were to meet, and then the night before the flight, she admitted “she” was actually a 19-year-old gay guy.
93. Using A Lie To Escape Homelessness
I was homeless, sleeping under a bridge in Charlotte near the music factory. I needed a job so I dressed as best I could, which wasn’t very well, walked into a bar on 7th and lied about my work experience. They gave me the job, I started working that day. They paid me cash after every shift. I worked there for three years, became the manager, and now I love cooking. Never cooked a day in my life up till that point.
A lady, in her 50s, who was acting as the kitchen manager trained me. She knew I lied, but she also knew I was in trouble. I couldn’t even cut a tomato. She saved my life. She didn’t tell anyone and kept training me. I’m grateful for her every single day.
94. Double Life
My pawpaw had a secret girlfriend for several decades. We suspect some of her children might be his as well. He had 7 children with my mawmaw, and I guess to escape he’d leave and live with the girlfriend for a couple of weeks at a time. The woman lived a couple houses down from them, so my dad and his siblings never suspected anything, because he was still around the house a lot during those times.
My mawmaw didn’t like it, but she was a very prim and proper woman, and this was during a time when people didn’t air their dirty laundry and they certainly didn’t divorce. I was told that when the woman died in the early 2000s, my mawmaw sent flowers to the funeral; not sure if it was out of spite or just because that’s the kind of woman she was.
No one talked about it for years and years until my mawmaw started showing signs of Alzheimer’s and dementia in her 70s. She would revert back to that time a lot. It was hard watching her relive it every day.
95. Liar and a Thief
At work one day a co-worker started telling me and another co-worker a story about being stopped by the police. He went into great detail about how he stopped at a gas station for a drink and there were two cops standing out front and nobody else in the parking lot. He gave the cops a wave, being nice, bought his drink, and left.
Less than a hundred feet down the street these same two cops pulled him over. They told him that they smelled weed when he got out of the car. He asked the cops if they could smell it now, standing next to his open window, they said no but it was obvious it came from him. They asked if they could search his car, which he angrily let them, telling them he wanted the cops to climb through his hot car to find nothing. While one cop did the “Search” the other cop told him to calm down, he looked nervous. To which he said “I’m not pissed, I’m angry. You didn’t smell weed, you smelled a shaved head and tattoos.” The cops found nothing and let him go about his business.
THE LIE: It was MY story. It happened to ME months before and I told that story at work back then. He even quoted me, except I said “Long hair and tattoos.” A few minutes into the story my other co-worker and I start giving each other the side eye, realizing he was literally telling me my own story. I think he realized it towards the end because he quickly finished up the story and left without ever mentioning it again.
We never brought it up either, I had such a bad case of second-hand embarrassment for the guy. Plus everybody else already heard about it and he was forever branded the liar.
96. Way to Leave Us Hanging
A long time ago, back when I was still in middle school my mom’s best friend died. She wouldn’t tell me how she died. Only that it was sudden. When I asked why we weren’t going to the funeral she told me that there wouldn’t be one because “her body was being donated to science.”
I didn’t ask any more questions. That was the last time we ever talked about her.
Well, five months ago my mom handed me her phone to find the number for Domino’s and as I’m scrolling through her contacts I come across the phone number of the dead best friend. Biggest WTF moment of my life. The next day I called it from a pay phone at Waffle House and she picked up. I instantly recognized the voice and accent. She’s not dead. Second biggest WTF moment of my life.
97. Check the Texts
Ex girlfriend told me she was going to a “girls only” pool party with some of her fellow waitresses from the restaurant she worked at.
I had felt something weird going on for a bit and had put a lot of effort into making that night a surprise “date night.” I worked that morning, while she worked in the evening. While she was at work I cleaned the whole apartment (that we shared), cooked a fancy surf and turf dinner with filet mignon, lobster tails, butter pasta, expensive wine, etc. Also rented a few movies I knew she would like. So when after dinner she suddenly told me she was going to this pool party at around 10 pm (!!!) and I couldn’t come I was pretty exasperated. I just knew something was not right.
Noticed she was putting her phone face down every time she received a text about this party. While she is putting on her sexiest bikini to wear under her clothes on her way over to this party I decide to look at the phone and it’s some dude from her work (under the name Angela in her phone), telling her he can’t wait to see her, can’t stop thinking about the other night, etc. Scroll down a bit and they even said they loved each other. There’s not really a worse feeling in the world when you are in love with someone and they do that to you.
She comes back into the room and queue one of the worst nights I’ve ever had as she blames all of this on me not proposing to her quickly enough (we were 22, relatively poor, and in college and I did want very much to marry her). She trashes the apartment, breaks the screen off of my laptop, cuts up a few of my favorite shirts, and breaks MY phone after going through it looking for some sort of justification for her actions and finding none by throwing it at the wall and stomping on it. But hey…it was satisfying knowing that I wasn’t going crazy and I learned some valuable life lessons.
98. Trying to Scam A Well-Meaning Offer
Police get a deal at my bakery. Two guys once demanded to know why the cop in front of them paid less. I told them, so they claimed they were cops too. They were smug—but their day was about to take a dark turn. I asked to see proof they were police. They freaked out on me about how disrespectful it was that I didn’t believe them—but they forgot one important thing: the person I’d served just before them was a cop, and he was still in the bakery, watching all their lies unravel.
He stood up and asked to see their badges. They instantly started sputtering, claiming they left them at home. The real cop just looked at me and said, “They’re lying about who they say they are, and I sure as heck suggest you don’t serve them.” Watching them scurry out with their tails between their legs was so satisfying.
99. What It Takes To Be A Nurse
I’m a nurse and I started helping a paraplegic man at his home. He was really lonely, so when he offered me a coffee I said yes just to give him some company, even though I can’t stand coffee. The next day, I found he had left himself a note that said: “Remember to make fresh pot of coffee for Rachael” to make sure I would stay and chat with him again. I hate coffee, but I had a cup with my new friend every time I saw him for over three years until he passed away. Lies aren’t always bad.
100. Caught Red-Handed
My boyfriend let me use his iPad so I could watch a Netflix movie. He had his messenger account linked to it, and messages kept popping up on it while I was watching. That’s when I made a disturbing discovery. I watched in real time as he got his best friend’s wife to agree to sleep with him over the coming holiday weekend, with the promise that he’d get rid of me for that weekend so they could get intimate in our bed.