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“By the time you swear you’re his,
Shivering and sighing.
And he vows his passion is,
Infinite, undying.
Lady make note of this —
One of you is lying.”
― Dorothy Parker

“Fool me once, shame on me. Fool me–you can’t get fooled again.” Unfortunately, we’ll probably get fooled again. In general, people suck at catching liars. For some reason, we’re just bad it. Studies show that most people can only catch a lie about 50% of the time–or roughly the same rate someone can call a coin toss correctly. Maybe that’s why it feels so satisfying when we do catch liars, because those are the times that we don’t get fooled again. It’s nice to know that sometimes liars don’t get away with it. There’s a little justice for the people who get caught up in the harm these lies can cause. The users over at Reddit have told of the golden times they’ve caught someone out. Here’s a list of the 30 most satisfying times where reddit users caught someone lying.


30. Parking Violation

I travel for work. 90% of the time I park in economy at the airport (I think $14 per day). About a 10 to 15 min walk. A few times out of necessity to catch a flight I park in the garage (I think $24 per day, 5 min walk). Usually 2 to 3 day trips, not a huge expense.

My boss suggests I park in Off Site Shuttle parking (about $11 a day, but a pain in the ass as you need a bunch more time to plan for the shuttle). He said he does it, because it is cheaper for the company (which he owns).

One day while walking through the garage from on site economy, there in the reserved parking (closest and like $40 per day) is my boss’s truck. And reserved takes planning, he wasn’t just running late and needed to park in the garage to make a flight.

I just put my business card under his wiper. I never brought it up, and I haven’t heard any complaints about parking on my expense reports since.

Johnny_Wurster

29. Olympic-Sized Lies

Oohhh boy. So in college I had this friend who was a very good pole vaulter. Seriously, one of the top in the state for his division. This was back in 2008. He tells ALL of his family, and friends, and even his boss that he was recruited to compete in the Beijing Olympics. Well his close friends, including myself, already smell a lie, but when the “day” comes he is nowhere to be found. In fact, we didn’t see him for a couple of days, and he started texting pics from Beijing.

So we were doubting ourselves a bit. Then we were driving along the freeway, and guess who’s broken down on the side of the road like 2 days after he left? Mr olympian! When we pulled over the look on his face was priceless. He stood by his story too, and said because of the time difference he already went and came back. Haha he’s an idiot. I still don’t know what he had to gain from such an elaborate fake story.

Bonus, all the “pics from beijing” were from a google image search of beijing olympics.

snukebox_hero

28. Academic Dishonesty

Wasn’t me, but a professor caught a student plagiarizing an essay… as she [the student] was reading it aloud to the class.

“That’s an excellent essay by my friend, Dr._____ you’re reading. Please keep reading it until the end.”

He made her stand in front of us and kept going until “her presentation” was over.

bbbberlin

27. Not Made of Stars

A co-worker briefly dated a guy but broke up with him when he was demeaning to her over her career. The last thing he said to her was, “I guess you and I aren’t made of the same stardust.”

A couple months later, she checks his Instagram and lo and behold — “our little miracle has been born,” with photos of him, a woman, and a newborn infant. She did the math and realized that the whole time they were dating, he had a pregnant girlfriend he never mentioned.

I guess they weren’t made of the same stardust after all!

transmacabre

26. Cheater Cheater

I dated this guy off and on for about a year. Things didn’t always add up but I was young and dumb and made excuses. During that year his mom passed away from pancreatic cancer, he relapsed and then went to rehab, and after he got out he moved a few states away for a fresh start near where his grandparents lived. We decided we were done at that point but he still emailed occasionally and a couple times he’d randomly show up on my doorstep saying he was in town and needed to see me.

After one such surprise visit I emailed him and said that I couldn’t keep doing this and to please not come by anymore. A year or so passed and I got a bug up my butt one night to google him. And found a baby registry with his name on it. Looked up the baby mama on Facebook and found pictures of them living together just a few hours away during the time that he and I were dating. I was able to determine that when we first started seeing each other they weren’t together, but when he was supposedly in California and missed me so much and didn’t want to be with anyone else he was actually just a few hours away with her. The kicker: his mom was still alive too.

It became clear to me that he was a pathological liar and I’d basically fallen in love with someone that didn’t really exist. Here’s the satisfying part – literally the next day he showed up on my doorstep. The first thing I said is “Where’s W (baby mama)? Does she know you’re here?” His face dropped, he started stammering making excuses that I didn’t know what was really going on. He even insisted that his mom was dead. I felt like I was in a girl power movie moment as I told him to get off my porch and never come see me again.

BraveLittleToastGirl

25. Lying Is an Art

I work in the customer framing department at a craft store and there’s this one woman who always talks down to all the employees. Her husband is rich and she shouldn’t be kept waiting blah blah blah (She was waiting for like five minutes because I was helping another customer) and she just keeps trying to get ridiculous discounts. This glass has a scratch on it? Oh, sorry, I’ll just replace it real quick. Nope. She wants to be upgraded to museum glass (a $90 difference) because I made her wait a few minutes to fix a scratch that only she could see. I’m pretty sure she got off on being an awful person, because I can’t understand why she would come back several times for different pieces if I was really such a terrible worker.

Anyway, she came in one day with a painting she wants re-framed. And then emphasizes that it was her grandmother who painted it and it has such sentimental value. Also, her grandmother was a professional painter so it’s probably worth like so much money.

It’s a generic painting of flowers in a vase and I’m like 80% sure at that point it’s not really that old. She’s just playing it up so when she gets the art back she can point out a flaw in it that we caused and she can demand we give her the whole frame for free.

So I’m taking the canvas out of the old frame and she’s reminding me that it’s super valuable. I take off the dust cover on the back and lo and behold there’s a sticker already there: Clearance: $19.99.

I wish I had a photo of her face when she saw that.

spacialHistorian

24. Sick Lie

I used to work at a grocery store.

One of my coworkers was constantly calling in sick, claiming she had one illness or another. Management couldn’t just can her for it as it was a union shop, so she had protection unless she could be caught in a bald faced and indefensible lie.

One Friday I get called in to cover her shift because she called in claiming she was very sick and needed a kidney transplant. On her next shift on Monday she’s wandering around with gauze wrapped around her stomach and back claiming that she had that kidney transplant on the weekend. That she had been so sick that they rushed her into surgery and put her at the top of the transplant list! When she does it to me I stop her and say “Isn’t the recovery time on a transplant at least a month or two? The hospital shouldn’t have let you out.” Realizing I’ve caught her in a lie she rushes to the front desk, claims she shouldn’t be here and that she needs to go home or she’ll pop her surgery stitches.

A few days later she was fired when she couldn’t provide proof of the surgery, she tried to sue but no lawyer would take her case. It was hilarious.

Iokuas

23. Library Liars

I’m a librarian and I’m actually very proud of this one. Back then I was in charge of the cinema and music section of my library. This guy came with his son and asked me where to find our Puff Daddy CDs. We have one and I show him on the shelves where to find it. Then I was called in another place of the library and go check on my colleagues. On my way back to the music section, I see him coming out of the library and I don’t know why (maybe he seemed dodgy) but I have a feeling something is wrong. I go check, the CD is gone. It’s not appearing on his library card, so he didn’t borrow it. I have a look if he didn’t misplace it but it’s not there.

The guy just stole the Puff Daddy CD, WITH HIS 8 YEARS OLD SON. FROM A PUBLIC LIBRARY. WHERE YOU CAN BORROW IT FOR FREE. At this point I do nothing because we have no proof, and no security camera. A few weeks later, the son and his sister (8 and 10 years old) come to the library again and borrow some CD. I’m watching them and to my knowledge, they didn’t steal anything, and I don’t want to confront them because it would break my heart to have them stopping to come to the library because of their father.

But this whole story still bothers me. So a few month later, I decide to try something. I still had the stolen CD barcode and I just decided to add it to their library card, as if they borrowed it. Worst case scenario, they say they don’t have it and I apologize and say that it’s a mistake from the library. A few days later they arrive, take some documents, return some, and just before leaving I proceed to explain them that they still have a document, a “Puff Daddy CD” that they need to return. The look of panic in their eyes and incomprehension was just delightful. They didn’t say anything and a few days later they came back with the CD.

I don’t really care about Puff Daddy, and we could easily have replaced it, but just for the principle, it was one of my greatest victories.

icetea32

22. Nightmare Renters

I helped an older woman who mistakenly rented a room in her house to the most evil family I’ve ever met. She offered the 2 rooms and private bathroom to the family of 4 because the house they were renting caught fire and they were forced out into a hotel. She just wanted to help. Took them dinners out and all the insane things you’d imagine the nicest person in the world to do.

So they stabbed her in the back. Never paid rent. Abused the heck out of her laundry machine and ate her food.

So I went over one day and could hear the toilet running from the hallway. They didn’t care about wasting water. So I grabbed a recorder and knocked on the door asking if I could come in and check on the running toilet. The mother just banged on the door back at me so loud it sounded like she was going to break the door. Then shouted at me through the door about how she was going to bury the old woman in the back yard.

She eventually let me in, I fixed the toilet and moved on to other projects around the house. Figured that was over with. NOPE. About 15 mins later I see a cop car in the driveway. Ok, this is BS, but I guess I should go talk to them.

Cop sees me coming and as soon as I was within ear shot he starts lecturing me about how illegal it is to harass tenants. I stopped him and said “you’re yelling at me without even asking for my side of the story. Would you like to hear what actually happened?”

So I played the recording. He spun around and unleashed fury on this woman for lying to him. All the while I stood there smiling at her from over his shoulder. I’ll never forget that feeling of actual justice in the middle of an 8 month long nightmare.

gidonfire

21. Caught Red-Handed

I was around 15 years old and had a package delivered to my house. My neighbor came over, paced back and forth in front of the door before smoothly opening our gate, coming to the door, and picking up my package. I opened the door as she was walking off and she turned white as a ghost when she heard the door open.

When I asked her what she was doing with my package, she explained to me that she was going to protect it for me, that she didn’t know it was mine (?), before I demanded she hand over my package and leave.

I snapped at this lady, which was abnormal for shy little 15-year-old me. I was furious because what was inside that package was a gift for my mother, who was at work at the time. I’ll never forget that.

Rrh058

20. Greedy Landlord

When I moved out of a house I had been renting years ago, the landlady decided that she wanted to keep my security deposit. We had been on friendly terms for the 5+ years I had lived there, she even invited me to dinner parties at her house. I had been a model tenant, so I don’t know why she turned on me aside from pure greed. When I persisted in asking her for the money she started making up reasons to keep it, claiming that she had to do costly cleanup of some mess I allegedly left.

By luck, before things went sour I had arranged to store some furniture at the property until I was ready for it. When I went to retrieve it, it was obvious that the property was exactly as I had left it, and the details of what she had claimed were entirely false.

She had no answer when I confronted her with this fact, and she finally grudgingly paid up. I still see her around and she tries to act like nothing ever happened, but she is dead to me. How someone can let a little money trump all reason and integrity is beyond me.

FrightenedOfSpoons

19. Lying Clients

In a large business meeting, boardroom style. Something went wrong on a project my company did. The executives were nervous because we were being blamed for a failure and the client was demanding we pay for it.

The thing is I was the project manager for this job, and had recently been promoted. I warned the client about a potential problem when the project was underway, but they chose to ignore it and press on. Now that it was failing they wanted us to spend hundreds of thousands of dollars to fix it, and our competitors were already about to take the next multimillion $ project.

So the client’s manager outlines his case and asks when he can expect us to fix it for him, assuming we’ll just cave in hopes of getting future business (that’s my company’s MO). They even said our on-site Rep should have caught the problem so this whole thing was our fault. Our project manager clearly didn’t know what he was doing otherwise he would have caught this. My boss was about to respond, but I gently interrupted. I basically said “I was the on-site PM and did catch the problem immediately. I have a few documents for your perusal.”

I had with me the printed email exchange where I warned about the problem and advised how to fix it, as well as the client’s very clear response that they thought it was worth the risk and wouldn’t change anything. The client’s face turned red. He looked at my bosses and said they should have told him who I was. We wound up paying for the fix anyway in exchange for being awarded the next project.

This kind of thing happens constantly in my business, though usually on a much smaller, less grand, and less public scale.

Red_bearrr

18. Period Pain

One of my staff (who is unfortunately family with the owner so he’s not getting canned anytime soon) is the biggest liar I have ever met. We’ll call him Jim.

He lies about everything, regardless of importance. He’s been caught in lies multiple times and really just doesn’t care.

If someone is sick, guaranteed he will be off the next day having “caught” whatever someone had. My whole department is female (5 females) except for him. One day almost all of us were suffering from some horrible period cramps. Everyone was complaining about the pain but no one said it was because of their period, because it’s usually pretty obvious why.

The HR department has a wonderful supply of meds and so I had to empty their stock of midol and heat pads. Some of the staff was teasing that they will bring chocolate as a peace offering before entering our department.

The next day he emails in that he’s sick and he caught the horrible stomach bug all the ladies in the department had. He’s so sore he can’t move, has a migraine, blah blah.

Word spread quickly and Jim has forever been mocked as the dude who had to take time off work for his period. He won’t be let go but he does get his pay docked when he flakes off like this. It was worth it to be able to make fun of him forever.

Reallychelseawow

17. Major League Liar

I come from a small-ish town. Brother made it into the MLB (Major League of Baseball). Was at the grocery store with my dad (who was wearing the MLB team’s jacket at the time) – checker says to us “you know I helped that kid get to the majors.” My Dad just politely pulled out his ID and told him to check the last name. Checker just laughed embarrassingly, immediately shut up, and gave us extra monopoly tickets for our time.

Edit: to clarify, my brother made it to a non-local team, so my dad wearing the jacket is what sparked the conversation.

2farty4me_irl

16. Fast Lies

My daughter signed an NLI (National Letter of Intent) for track and it was kind of a big deal in our small town. Had the cashier tell me all about how she did this and that and if it wasn’t for her, the girl wouldn’t have “made it.” Never saw the woman before and am 100% certain I was the one buying those shoes and getting her to the team bus at those ungodly hours for away meets.

DeadSheepLane

15. Liar and a Thief

At work one day a co-worker started telling me and another co-worker a story about being stopped by the police.

He went into great detail about how he stopped at a gas station for a drink and there were two cops standing out front and nobody else in the parking lot. He gave the cops a wave, being nice, bought his drink, and left.

Less than a hundred feet down the street these same two cops pulled him over. They told him that they smelled weed when he got out of the car. He asked the cops if they could smell it now, standing next to his open window, they said no but it was obvious it came from him. They asked if they could search his car, which he angrily let them, telling them he wanted the cops to climb through his hot car to find nothing. While one cop did the “Search” the other cop told him to calm down, he looked nervous. To which he said “I’m not pissed, I’m angry. You didn’t smell weed, you smelled a shaved head and tattoos.” The cops found nothing and let him go about his business.

THE LIE:

It was MY story. It happened to ME months before and I told that story at work back then. He even quoted me, except I said “Long hair and tattoos.” A few minutes into the story my other co-worker and I start giving each other the side eye, realizing he was literally telling me my own story. I think he realized it towards the end because he quickly finished up the story and left without ever mentioning it again.

We never brought it up either, I had such a bad case of second hand embarrassment for the guy. Plus everybody else already heard about it and he was forever branded the liar.

sebrebc

14. Story Thief

I had some hip pain when I was about 13 and got an x-ray and the tech asked me if I was pregnant and I said, “No, what?? I’m only 13.” and the tech said, “We always ask, because we didn’t ask a 12 year old once and she was. . . “. A few years later I told my friend the story as an interesting anecdote and she repeated my story back to me a few weeks later. I was like, “Oh what were you having x-rayed?” and she said she didn’t remember and I just nodded and let it go.

BlopBleepBloop

13. Trick or Treat

I caught my mom eating my Halloween candy when I was little after she told me it wasn’t her. Getting new candy from the store because of it was pretty satisfying.

CalvinsOlderBrother

12. House of Lies

Sued a bloke for not paying his mortgage. He filed an application claiming he’d never been served with the court proceedings, and he’d just found them in his front yard. He also managed in two pages to set out eleven separate claimed defences to the claim.

Something didn’t stack up. So I ran some Court file searches, and discovered he’d defaulted on another mortgage a few years earlier and filed the exact same affidavit back then. Even included the exact same photos of the court documents supposedly lying in his yard.

The case did not end well for him.

fistingdonkeys

11. Don’t Mess With Tech Support

TLDR; Tech support tells kid he is going to be arrested.

I was working in tech support at an ISP (internet service provider) on the afternoon/evening shift. It is a smaller ISP so tech support all sits in one office about a stone’s throw from each other. In the evenings there are only about 12 people working until about 7pm when it drops to about 7 people.

We got a call one night from a kid (sounded about 12) who was using a deep voice trying to get info on an IP address from us. This isn’t uncommon for kids who are gaming to call tech support to try and get information so they can DDOS (distributed denial of service) someone they are mad at. The first person he got followed protocol and asked if he had a warrant then hung up (We can’t give out that type of info to anyone without a warrant). Same thing happened to 3 other people over the course of about 15 minutes before he changed up his act.

I got him at that point and he said that he was agent something-or-other from the FBI and he needed info on the IP address (have you ever heard a 12 year old try to sound like an adult?). I played along and asked him if he had the account info he was looking for. He panicked at that point and said I should have it and John in customer service should have sent it to me. I informed him there isn’t a John in customer service (They worked in the same office as us so I knew them all). He was quiet for a few seconds before he tentatively tried another name and I told him I know that person. He got super excited and it was kind of funny listening to him think he was getting through. I asked him for the account info because that person had not sent it to me and the kid hung up.

The next few attempts were the kid pretending to be one of my coworkers and telling people to give him the info. Granted this was at about 8:30pm and that specific coworker had gone home at 7. At that point we were getting annoyed and just hung up on him whenever we heard his voice.

As 9pm rolled around, one of my coworkers was very upset that she hadn’t gotten him yet, she had this whole plan on what she was going to say to him and was super excited a few minutes after 9 when we all heard her yell across the office “I GOT THE IP GUY.” We all went on break or put calls on hold to come listen to what her plan was.

The kid was pretending to be our coworker again, which was very funny for us because the person he was talking to sits right next to the person he was imitating. She acted like she was going to give him everything, he gave her the IP address he wanted info on and she got him to sing like a bird on what he was looking for. After about a minute she said “Thank you sir, we just finished tracing your call and I am required to inform you that a member of the FBI will be swinging by shortly to pick you up to answer some questions.” We could hear the kid flip out for a few seconds over her headset and then he hung up.

We all lost it, that was the funniest thing we had all seen in a while and we didn’t hear from him again.

jamesdean20

10. Calling in Sick

Once had a person work for me who would always call out and use her past health problems as a crutch to miss work all the time. One Monday she called in, gave me some generic illness excuse and said she couldn’t get out of bed. That morning another department had a breakfast meeting at ihop (ihob) and saw her there eating breakfast with her friends looking like she was in perfect health. The picture evidence sent to me was oh so satisfying.

GurlinPanteez

9. Lies and Basketball

I played college basketball, and one of my teammates had a chronic condition with the truth.

My first summer we were roommates, and I always suspected he was stealing my clothes. At one point, every player received a custom pair of Jordans in our school’s colors. But within a week mine went missing.

A month later, I noticed my roommate/teammate was wearing a pair of Jordans. Later in the day we were in a gym and I waited until we were all relaxing, and he had the soles of his shoes facing forward as he sat.

I told all of my other teammates what I suspected, and approached him. “Hey, have you seen my Jordans?,” “Naa, I already told you. Now leave me alone,” “Then why is my number written on the soles of the shoes you’re wearing?” The team equipment staff had predicted some shoes might go missing, so they had marked each pair.

I made him take the shoes off right there, since I couldn’t trust I’d get them back at the end of the day. After that, his nickname on the team was Simba, for being the Lying King.

EDIT:

One more story, since people found the first amusing.

We had an athletic trainer whose job it was to make sure we were taking care of our bodies. If we got hurt, it was his responsibility to make sure we were getting treatment before and after every practice or game.

My teammate/roommate had sprained his ankle earlier that week in practice, and the rule was if you weren’t with the training staff getting treatment, then you weren’t really hurt. Skipping treatment, but saying you were hurt, was a huge no-no with our coach.

I was in there for my own injury, and the trainer comes up to say “Where’s your roommate? He was supposed to be here 30 min ago, and practice starts soon.” I didn’t know, so the trainer calls him.

Over the phone, my roommate tells our trainer that he’s just getting out of class on campus, and it’ll take him at least another 20 minutes to get back – so no time for treatment.

The trainer hung up the phone and stared at me with an incredulous look, “This MF-er just told me he was on campus… I called his room phone.”

drarch

8. Court of Lies

A year had gone by with no settlement in what should have been a very simple divorce (no children, no remarkable assets or property). Instead, it had been nothing but lies, harassment, and threats from this attorney who had just recently got her law license back after having it suspended for a year.

There was a lot of stuff that had transpired, but the last straw was when I begrudgingly agreed to pay $1,500 in legal fees to her attorney because I just wanted the nightmare to end. After she got the cashiers check, she claimed to have “destroyed” the check because it wasn’t made out to her and instead it was made out to my ex as ordered by the court. A few emails followed as I canceled the cashiers check. She tried to have my ex cash out the check while demanding another one in her name or else…

After a year of nonstop threats and lies, we had had it. We filed sanctions against her. It had been three months since the incident and they weren’t producing a settlement as ordered and when they finally did on the day of the sanctions hearings, it was more of a criminal document to implicate myself than a settlement. She had filed counter-sanctions against me for filing sanctions against her. That made us file a second order for sanctions against her because she basically tried to extort me by saying that she’ll lift her sanctions against me if we pay her $5,000.

For the entire year and a half at this point it had seemed like my ex and her crazy attorney had always gotten their way and that their consistent harassment and lies had been rewarded by the courts. I was shocked when at the sanctions hearing the judge started with a few simple questions to both sides and then immediately tore into my ex’s attorney for 15 minutes. I mean tore into, like yelling at her and telling her how much of an embarrassment this is to the court system. It was surreal to me.

What was even more surreal to me was when I got the judge’s ruling 90 days later. It was a document written by the judge who meticulously reviewed our case and basically wrote a 35-page thesis on it. It called out all of the lies from my ex’s attorney. It was unbelievable to see on paper by an impartial judge, calling out my ex and her attorney on all of their lies and their abhorrent behavior.

My ex had to pay back the legal fees, her attorney had to pay me $2,000, which means she had to report herself to the state bar. If she didn’t, the judge did it for her anyways by mailing the entire ruling to the bar. Last I heard, she made her law license “inactive” and moved to another state to be a waitress.

jujapee

7. Hit Reply All

When I got divorced we “shared” a lawyer because it was amicable and we just agreed to keep our own stuff and move on. I was getting ready to deploy to Afghanistan in less than a week so I’m anxious to get everything done before I leave. So I get emailed the finalized divorce documents and my ex mentions my half of costs was around $2000.

What she didn’t know is she had forwarded me the whole email chain with the lawyer where they discussed final billing. Turns out the total amount owed was actually about $800. So I replied and said I’d be paying $400 and explained her mistake. Her reply was simply “whatever. I don’t care.”

jeremythelee

6. Telling Rumors

I was in a bar having some beers when I feel a tap on my shoulder. It was a guy I went to school with. I didn’t really hang out with him back then, but decided to catch up and share stories anyways. At one point he mentions sleeping with a girl I knew very well, a girl I knew for a fact was a virgin until after she graduated. I just kind of nodded and let him go. Then, I said something along the lines of “oh, I actually know her very well, we’ll have to hit her up, she comes out and drinks with me all the time!” He turned white. The look of horror in his eyes was great.

Goyteamsix

5. Standing Up to the Boss

I had a boss who kept on getting angry at me because, “I wasn’t doing what he told me to do.”

Finally one day, I decided to start writing down exactly what he told me, dated it, and kept record of it.

Then one day came where inevitably, “WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING?!”

“Exactly what you told me to do.”

“I NEVER TOLD YOU TO DO THAT!”

“Well, I have it written here…” pulls out note card “On 5/22/16 — you told me specifically to do this task, exactly like this, and never do it any other way.”

I finally won. I started standing up for myself a bit more in the office, and I was respected for it.

anooblol

4. Don’t Let Sleeping Babes Lie

I worked daycare and was told to never accept babies sleeping in carseats or sleeping children at all. So if Mom or Dad brought a kid asleep, I immediately woke them up and pulled them out of their car seat. This made so many parents displeased with me but it’s policy.

I used to think it was to help the kid be on a schedule, then one day a grandma brought a baby asleep and he was not waking up at all. Just would raise his head, whimper, and go back to sleep. Immediately my boss called 911 and grandma was trying to down play “he had a rough night, he’s just tired, etc.” I knew this baby, he wouldn’t sleep if he thought he was going to miss out, we had music playing and kids loudly singing and dancing. In the chaos, grandma slipped out and at some point someone called the parents.

Turns out Granny had a history of giving kids stuff to knock them out when she babysat, but this time she did it to a 6 month old and that’s why he wouldn’t wake up. I think they pumped the kid’s stomach and he had a stay at the hospital. Legal actions were taken and the family moved away.

To clarify, the policy was put in place because my boss knew abusers have been known to do this. They’d break the kid’s arm, dose them, dump them with the sitter who lets the baby asleep all morning then because the kid was with the sitter all day, it’s easy to blame them for the baby’s injury. Or worse, the baby died and they do this to blame the sitter.

So yea, to this day if I’m babysitting, I don’t accept sleeping children. I flat out refuse to watch kids at their home while they’re sleeping for the same reason. I’ve pretty much stopped doing any child care because as much as I love kids, watching parents make bad decisions on purpose, when they know better, was killing my soul.

56149

3. You Can’t Hide Your Lying Pink Eye

I work at a daycare. If a child is sick they will be sent home cause we don’t want to risk infecting the whole class (generally happens anyway).

A lot parents don’t agree with this policy which leads to parents arguing with us that their kid isn’t sick when they obviously are.

My favorite time this happened was when a mother dropped her little boy off in an eye patch. Yep the toddler was wearing a damn eye patch. I ask what happened and she says he hit his eye or something. Which I didn’t really believe.

She says whatever I do don’t take off his eye patch. I picslk him up and immediately lift up his eye patch…. pink eye. She was sooooo pissed at me for doing that. And she was shocked I did it.

The look on her face was so satisfying. Although I got yelled at by my supervisor for it.

mommysababy

2. Check the Texts

Ex girlfriend told me she was going to a “girls only” pool party with some of her fellow waitresses from the restaurant she worked at.

I had felt something weird going on for a bit and had put a lot of effort into making that night a surprise “date night.” I worked that morning, while she worked in the evening. While she was at work I cleaned the whole apartment (that we shared), cooked a fancy surf and turf dinner with filet mignon, lobster tails, butter pasta, expensive wine, etc. Also rented a few movies I knew she would like. So when after dinner she suddenly told me she was going to this pool party at around 10 pm (!!!) and I couldn’t come I was pretty exasperated and knew something was not right.

Noticed she was putting her phone face down every time she received a text about this party. While she is putting on her sexiest bikini to wear under her clothes on her way over to this party I decide to look at the phone and it’s some dude from her work (under the name Angela in her phone), telling her he can’t wait to see her, can’t stop thinking about the other night, etc. Scroll down a bit and they even said they loved each other. There’s not really a worse feeling in the world when you are in love with someone and they do that to you.

She comes back into the room and queue one of the worst nights I’ve ever had as she blames all of this on me not proposing to her quickly enough (we were 22, relatively poor, and in college and I did want very much to marry her). She trashes the apartment, breaks the screen off of my laptop, cuts up a few of my favorite shirts, and breaks MY phone after going through it looking for some sort of justification for her actions and finding none by throwing it at the wall and stomping on it. But hey…it was satisfying knowing that I wasn’t going crazy and I learned some valuable life lessons.

garlinc_naaaannn

1. Cheaters Never Prosper

I knew my ex wife was cheating but didn’t tell her that I knew.

Took her out to dinner and I casually asked questions about who she had been spending time with while I was at sea, she barely worked so she had to spend her time doing something.

She failed to mention the guy that had been staying at my house for nearly 2 months, the guy she had to call the cops on just to get to leave because I was coming home in 2 days… soooo I slid her a copy of the police report that was filed for the incident and watched as she crumbled over the fact she had been caught, and I didn’t have to say a word.

links311

Source: 1

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