Many of us have found ourselves in frustrating situations where we just know that someone is lying to us, yet we simply don’t have enough proof to do anything about it. And then there are the times when we do. There are few feelings in this world as sweet and glorious as that of serving up some sweet justice to someone who was trying to pull a fast one on us. Here are epic stories of times when people managed to call out liars who they had caught red-handed.
1. Food for Thought
When I worked at a fast food joint, I once had someone call in during the opening shift while we were still prepping everything for the day. He starts telling me all about how he was just here and how our service was terrible, and how we got his order wrong. I asked him when exactly he came in, and he said about half an hour ago. I said, “Oh, that’s weird, because we don’t actually open for another 45 minutes.”
He just hung up without another word.
2. The Ex-Files
My ex-wife once told my kids that I didn’t pay child support regularly. I was able to then immediately lay out each and every receipt for the past three years showing each individual payment I had made, all either on time or early. Even though I was vindicated, I wouldn’t exactly call it a triumphant moment. There are no winners in divorce.
3. A Conference Callout
We were on a conference call. A supervisor was taking credit for all of the work that had been done on a cross-departmental project. In reality, he wasn’t even a part of the project; his subordinate, Craig, was. I called him out on it in front of about 40 people. I said that even Craig didn’t really do any work.
The real star of the show was Leslie, the intern assigned to help us, since she actually did 75% of the work on his behalf. The supervisor got fired several months later for some other unrelated issues. A lot of people on the call reached out to me afterwards to let me know that they thought what I did was pretty awesome. That made me happy.
4. The Big Lube-owski
A lube technician at a Jiffy Lube once tried to convince me that I was in desperate need of a radiator service…for a car that didn’t have a radiator. He even showed me a PH strip to “prove” that the fluid had gone acidic. I told him that if he could show me the radiator, I’d cheerfully pay for the service. The expression on his face when he opened up my car’s hood and realized what I was getting at was pretty priceless.
5. The Proof Is in the Pudding
I called someone out for lying this morning. It was my wife. She said she was going to clean up after herself last night. But the countertop proved that to be a lie.
6. A Tale of Two Cities
I once called out a city councilwoman for lying live on the radio. I am a public servant, and she had lied about a government project that I had actually worked on. So, I called up the radio station (giving a fake name), got on the air with her, and called her out for it. It was definitely a fun moment!
7. Warning: This Is About to Get Graphic
I once had a graphic designer apply for a job at my marketing firm using someone else’s work in his portfolio. I asked him all about the work, and the thinking behind the designs, before I showed him the originals—and the door.
8. Proof of Purchase
I was once in an auto shop waiting room, watching one of my fellow customers angrily shouting at the guy behind the counter about how he had been waiting there for more than two hours. The shop manager just casually pulls out a piece of paper and calmly states, “We just printed the work order that you signed less than 30 minutes ago.” Well played, Mr. Manager. Well played…
9. We Now Return to Our Regularly Scheduled Program
I was renting a house with two roommates in Michigan. One of them (whom we’ll call S) and I had made an agreement about keeping the furnace low to try and keep our costs down. It was also because S’s room was in the middle and apparently got ridiculously hot at night—so hot that she admitted to cracking the window open sometimes.
We had talked to the other roommate (whom we’ll call E) about it and she was on board—or at least so she claimed. E constantly turned the heat up, sometimes even a good 8 degrees hotter than we had all agreed to. It would be one thing if she was legitimately cold—this was Michigan in the winter, after all. But, no.
She would crank the heat up and then just wear skimpy clothing. It was pretty frustrating that she wasn’t even trying to layer up before turning the furnace up. Not only that, but she would come home from school, turn the heat up, and then leave for the weekend less than 15 minutes later. It was ridiculous, and it got even worse.
One of her go-to excuses for the heat being higher was that the furnace was programmed to turn it up at a certain time of day (which it only was because she had programmed it that way). So, one weekend when she was back at her parents’ house, I reprogrammed it back. Monday rolls around, I get back from class, and the furnace is up again.
I turn it down and go confront E about it. She predictably said the heat was only up because it was programmed that way. I called her a liar flat out. She shouted at me a bit and called me a jerk, then went into her room to sulk.
10. Falsus in Uno, Falsus in Omnibus
We used to know this girl who would compulsively lie about the littlest things—so we were always kind of wondering if she was lying about other things too. Mainly, we wondered if she was lying about having epilepsy. Well, she faked a fit in front of a group of us once at a party. She started pretending to shake, fell dramatically to the floor, and so on.
She then stopped, confirmed that people were looking and paying attention, and then continued. We told her to stop and that she was obviously faking it. She left the party.
11. Reading Between the Lines
Some guys came into the bookstore I was working at during Black Friday and tried to tell me that a male coworker had given them the okay for a steep discount on something. I flat out told them that they were definitely lying, because I was the only guy who worked there. Not just the only one now, but the only one ever—since the store first opened more than two years prior.
Every other worker right up to the manager was female. In full disclosure, the district manager was a guy—but if he gave discounts, it was via an official email with an attachment and his personal signature. He would also call us as soon as he issued any discount certificate to give us some advance warning.
So I’m gonna go with it was not him…
12. The Best Things in Life Are Free
I recently called a customer out at my job for lying. The customer claimed that I had promised her a product for free, when in fact all I had actually done was offer her a significant discount for it. Nevertheless, she came in demanding it for free and, of course, I refused. She then claimed that she had a recording of me saying that it would be free.
I don’t know what her end game was with making that claim, but I told her that if she could play me the recording and prove that I had somehow screwed up and said that by mistake, then I would honor my promise and indeed give her the product for free. She then refused to play me the recording, allegedly because I was “being difficult.”
At that point, I called her out for having made this all up and told her that she would not be getting this product for free. She actually had the nerve to then ask for my boss’s number, and my boss’s boss’s number, so that she could complain about me not giving her the $400 product for free—and she actually thought that they would side with her.
While my direct boss actually ended up increasing the discount that I had offered her—which was fine in this case, and it was only a small increase—he still refused to give her the product for free, refused to give her more people’s contact info so she could go up the chain with more complaints, and said that if she didn’t act within a few hours, the deal would be void.
He told her that there was no benefit to our company in just giving stuff away for free (as is likely the case in most companies), and that there was no reason why I or any other employee would have ever made her that offer. He told her that she had no basis for a complaint, and that he wasn’t going to help her. And that was the end of that!
13. Time on Her Hands
During the first week of a new school year, our principal sent a group email out to all of the staff, scheduling every single meeting that teachers were required to attend for the next six months. I replied publicly, stating that I was unavailable at the particular time of day that she had chosen for our weekly meetings to be at.
This was actually pretty reasonable, as she had moved them to be a full hour later than when they had been the previous semester. She replied saying that every single meeting that we’ve ever had has been held at this same time, so I had no excuse for not being there. I was pretty incensed at the accusation, but I knew what to do.
At that particular point, I was the only teacher there who had also worked there the previous semester—so none of the teachers who were currently employed could have known what time we had held our meetings at last semester. Instead, I replied publicly with several screenshots showing each of the emails scheduling our meetings from the previous semester, at the correct time.
She suddenly changed the meetings back to the correct time.
14. Stop Me If You’ve Heard This One…
This guy I know was once telling a whole group of us the “glorious” story of how he epically struck out with a girl at the local bar. The only problem was, it was actually my story—and not even a good one, to be perfectly honest. That’s right, this guy was describing events that had happened to me, and presenting them as though they had happened to him.
I guess he was just trying to seem cool by pretending to have been the one involved. Now, there happened to be a few people among our group who had already heard this story from me, and they clearly recognized it. So, a couple of minutes in, everyone slowly begins shooting me glances as the guy is going on about it, obviously all knowing what’s going on.
No one said anything to him, and he just kept going and going, seemingly oblivious to the fact that I was the person who he had heard this story from in the first place. Presumably, he mistakenly thought he had heard it somewhere else. Eventually, I couldn’t resist. Right when he got to the end, I cut him off and said, “Oh, hold on, I remember how this went—it ends when she says ‘her girlfriend wouldn’t like that very much!'”
All of the blood instantly drained from the guy’s face as it suddenly hit him that I was the one he had stolen the story from. The rest of the group just burst out into laughter. I did feel sort of bad for him after, but oh well…
15. Sounds More Like Brain Freeze Than Freezer Burn
I had a customer once call up the store that I worked at and say that she had bought these ice cream sandwiches there the week before, only to get home and find that they were all freezer-burned. She was super aggressive and was angrily yelling at me, so I very politely asked her to please confirm which exact product she had bought so that we could take it from there.
She yelled the name of it at me. When I said the name back to her, she shouted “Yes, that one! That’s what I’ve been telling you this whole time, dummy!” So I just calmly said, “Ma’am, we discontinued that product over six months ago.” All of a sudden, she started to stutter a bit and then abruptly hung up. I was nineteen years old, it was the first job I had ever had, and that moment was SO SATISFYING.
16. Water Cooler Conversation
My supervisor was talking to my same-level coworkers about my private information that I had shared with him during an HR meeting. My coworkers informed me of this misconduct right away, and I confronted my boss about it. This is how it went:
Me: Hey boss, could you please not discuss my private info with my coworkers? I don’t care if you tell other managers or my lead about it, but not my peers.
Boss: I never talked about that to anyone!
Me: Well, [such and such] said he heard it from you—and so did [so and so].
Boss: Oh. Well…he shouldn’t have heard that!
Me: I agree!
He wouldn’t take responsibility at all for what he had done, but it just felt good to be able to let him know that my coworkers and I were closer than he had thought—and that he would have to watch his yap from now on.
An acquaintance of mine tried telling another friend of mine that we were dating. I told him to stop his ridiculous lies and stay away from me. Some time later, after about six months to a year, I bumped into him again and we talked for a little bit. He then tried to claim that he was now dating a colleague of his who I had once met.
I didn’t believe him for a second, so I found her on Facebook and asked her about it. As I had suspected all along, it was a total lie. In fact, the guy almost lost his job as a result of this. However, it was a weird feeling busting him. On the one hand, I loved the thrill of the takedown. On the other hand, I just felt sorry for him.
18. Sinking to New Lows
This girl at my high school lied to everyone about having breast cancer. She even got “counseling” from a teacher who actually did have breast cancer, and who has since passed away. Eventually, everyone found out that she was just lying about the whole thing to get attention. I doubt we’ll be seeing her at a high school reunion any time soon.
19. Being Forward With Her
To make a long story short, my ex-girlfriend tried to prove to me that her ridiculous lie was a truth by creating a fake email account and using it to fabricate a “forwarded” email to me—to supposedly prove that a certain made-up person and event were real. But I suspected her all along, and I came up with a plan to expose her.
I copied the email address and tried to log into it. I hit “reset password”and it prompted me with the question Yahoo gives when resetting a password: “Complete the phone number associated with the account.” I put my ex’s cell number in, and she miraculously got a “reset password” text message at that exact moment.
That’s when she finally admitted to the lie—and in my eyes, to all of her previous suspected lies as well.
20. The Wearing of the Green
I was at a music festival that requires guests to wear a white bracelet, while the musicians are required to wear a green one. This random guy was trying to impress a female friend of mine. He was telling her that he’s a musician and that he’s playing a gig the next day and that she should come watch. He was using the musician thing to basically get her to like him.
I was there with her the whole time, listening to the guy. Finally, at the end of his long session of bragging and attempted flirting, I just bluntly asked him why he was wearing a general admission white bracelet instead of a green one. He was confused. I then explained to him how the bracelets worked.
My friend and I had a nice little chuckle while he awkwardly walked away.
21. He’s Not a Poet, and He Didn’t Even Know It
A fellow author was bragging to me about how his unique literary talents in the areas of characterization and voicing are the reason why his books are so good. I took a full page of dialogue out of his latest work and edited out the names. I then read it to him and asked him if he could tell me which of the characters was which. He could not.
Bonus points? It was a romance novel. The dialogue was between the two leads. Yea. I’m gonna go with he didn’t actually do any of the writing, despite his claims of being some kind of literary genius.
22. You Used to Call Me on My Cell Phone
My ex-husband: “No, I am not having an affair!”
Me: “Well then why do I have two hundred pages worth of IMs, texts, and emails with explicit content sent between you and this girl?”
Him: “I, uh, I was hacked!”
Me: “For 4 and a half years?”
Me: “How did the hackers get these 37 photos of you in the nude?”
Him: (and I kid you not, he really said this): “That’s not me.”
Spoiler: it was definitely him. It clearly showed his unique birthmark, his pasty fatness, and every other distinguishing feature about him. Nice try, hubby!
23. I Know You Are, But What Am I?
A dude once tried to falsely accuse two of the kindest souls out there of forcing themselves onto a girl. So, I simply asked him “How do you know the details if you weren’t there?” He just stared at me blankly for a minute before saying “She (as in, the girl) told me.” He didn’t see her standing in the crowd and listening to all this, but I did. So, I just asked her, “Hey, is this true?”
She said no, it was not—and that, in reality, he (the accuser) was the one who had actually tried to force himself on her, while Nice Dude 1 and Nice Dude 2 were actually there to save her.
I once had a very crazy roommate who I had found on Craigslist during a fit of desperation when I was very poor and had just left an abusive ex. Me and my crazy roomie shared a bunk bed in a master bedroom in a home that was owned by our landlords. We had this arrangement where we would alternate who bought the toilet paper for the house.
One time, I bought a really big pack of the stuff. Halfway through the big pack, the rest of it just disappeared. She then bought a puny little pack of four from the dollar store, and accused our landlords of having stolen the rest of what I had bought. I had a hunch—so one day when she was out, I went rifling through her stuff.
Sure enough, I found the rest of the toilet paper that I had bought hidden in her dirty laundry hamper. After washing my hands about 10 times, I stowed it in the trunk of my car (along with everything else valuable that I owned), and didn’t bring it up again. I just sat back and waited for her to bring it up to me.
She came to me the next day, nervous and stammering incoherently about how it was her friend who had misplaced the toilet paper. She had obviously noticed it was gone and assumed that I had found it. I simply said “Oh, you found it! Where was it?”—to which she had no response. The next time it was my turn to buy the toilet paper, I bought just one roll—almost daring her to say anything about it.
I only stayed in that house for another month because I had already paid for it—but she got kicked out even before I left for messing up one of the rooms while the landlord and his family were away. Dorthy (no, that’s not a misspell) was a real class act. I have so many awful stories about her, especially considering that we only lived together for two months.
When I was young, I had these tiny magnetic figures that I always loved to play with. One time, I was at a friend’s house and I had just bought a new pair of them. When I was about to go home, I noticed that one was suddenly missing. I got very sad and asked my friend if he had seen it. He said no. But I knew that he had always been the liar type of guy, so I searched his pockets.
I found it right there in his back pocket. He started saying stuff like, “I didn’t know it was there, it must have been my brother that took it!” I felt like an awesome detective afterwards.
26. Total Eclipse of the Art
Someone stole my art back in high school. They used it and paraded it around as their own, after they had asked me to draw them something for free—which I only did because I was 17 years old and stupid. They even tried to pass the piece that I drew for them off as their own at a school art exhibit. I was furious and mortified.
As soon as I saw the person, I confronted him in the hallway about it in front of dozens of people. All of my friends knew about my art style and would recognize it instantly, but these strangers obviously didn’t—so they were very intrigued by my accusations. I loudly said, “You’re a talentless piece of trash, you freaking art thief. You stole my art! That picture was drawn by me, not you!”
The guy just stood there staring at me, saying nothing in response. His friends even left his side at that point, wanting to avoid any further embarrassment. He got called to the principal’s office and his parents got called in as well. He made a phone call to his parents while I sat in the office lobby, and I heard him apologize to his dad for having gotten into trouble.
I then got to listen and watch him as he attempted to explain what he had done to his parents. It was awesome. Screw that lying pile of garbage, he deserved the humiliation that he got!
27. We All Scream for Ice Cream
My best friend’s favorite story is from when she was working at McDonald’s. She was on drive-thru duty and a guy came by complaining about some bad ice cream that he had purchased earlier. That’s when everyone who worked there gathered around the window to watch. My friend casually let this person know that they haven’t had a working ice cream machine at this location in over four months. Person had no reply.
28. Won the Battle, Lost the War
I called my mom out for smoking while pregnant, and for continuing to do so while nursing. No one believed me. I got whooped, grounded, and ostracized by my whole family. Six years later, my parents were getting a divorce. My mom admits in court that she had smoked while she was pregnant and while she was nursing. I felt triumphant because I was vindicated. But really, as “triumphant” as that moment was, the whole incident really messed up my relationship with my family, and I’ve suffered a lot because of it.
29. Evaluating the Evaluation
I was being evaluated for job performance by a boss who clearly had an ax to grind with me. Naturally, she wrote up an unflattering report. She was not impressed when I went to her supervisor and brought up the fact that she had never actually observed me on the job, that her report had changed three or four times before the final one had come out, and that she had contradicted her previous report from only three months prior in her final one. It was painfully clear to everyone that the eval was completely biased.
30. Say Cheese!
I was waiting at a red light behind a red BMW. I happened to notice that its bumper was kind of messed up. The light turns green, and he starts going. I slowly begin to accelerate like any normal human. Then, all of a sudden, he slams on his brakes and I do the same. I didn’t hit him at all. He then reverses directly into my car, turns on his hazards, and pulls into the parking lot of a nearby shopping complex.
We exchange information. I remain absolutely calm the entire time. Later, at small claims court (after rejecting his claim with my insurance):
Him: Yes, your honor, he rear-ended me, and therefore owes me $5 thousand in damages—including a new paint job, plus an additional thousand for emotional distress, as I have needed physical therapy ever since.
Judge (looking over at me): And you say that you have a video of the entire incident?
Me: Yes I do, sir.
Hands DVD to bailiff.
Dashcam video clearly shows his fraud.
Judge: So, is that you in the video?
He literally got arrested and had to pay me over $5 thousand in damages. Get a dashcam people!
31. Driving Everyone Crazy
My freshman year of high school, there was a girl who claimed to have her driver’s license already, even though we were all too young. It was pretty funny to see her face when she showed up in my driver’s ed class that you needed to complete before getting your license. The very next day at lunch, she tried to lie about it again.
So I told her to show everyone her license to prove it. She tried to make up some story, so I told everybody that she was lying and that I had seen her in my class. She also once got caught telling the volleyball team that her brother was dead—and when someone said something to her mom about it, it came out that she never even had a brother…
32. The Fine Print
I walked by as my buddy was clicking “yes” on “Have you read the terms and conditions?” I called him out on that.
33. Mike Drop
My ex once told me that she was sick and that she therefore couldn’t go out with me that night. Fine, whatever. Well, I had previously been introduced to her best friend. For some reason, her best friend was mad at her on that particular night, and so she decided to call me up and let me know that my girlfriend was cheating on me with some guy named Mike.
She even told me what street he lived on. So, I drive down this street looking for her very unique car, with its easily-identifiable personalized license plate. At first, I didn’t see it anywhere. Then, as I’m starting to drive away, I suddenly notice that there’s a little alley behind the houses. Sure enough, there was her car.
I go back to the front door and knock. Some dude answers and I say “Is Mike here?” “Yeah, he’s up in his room” he says, pointing up the stairs by the door. “First door on the right?” “No, left.” Then this dude just stands aside to let me in. I walk up the stairs, open the door, and there’s my girlfriend putting her shirt back on.
“Hey guys, what’s going on?” I say. All she says is “WHAT THE HECK???!!!” while the dude ducks back into bed to hide under the blankets. She immediately goes into crazy-person mode, asking me how I found her and how I got inside, while this guy just keeps on saying “Dude, I did NOT know that she had a boyfriend! Why didn’t you tell me?” over and over again.
He was a short “little feller,” and at the time I was in the army and in the best shape of my life. The situation was so messed up that I just had to giggle a bit, but I quickly returned to reality and walked out of there before I lost control and physically hurt someone. The roommate who had let me in, even after hearing all the commotion, was just sitting there playing Playstation. I nodded to him on my way out and said “thanks” before continuing out the door.
34. Band on the Run
I met this dude who wanted to join my band. He said he was a huge Pearl Jam and Rolling Stones fan. So, just for the heck of it, I asked him if he was also a fan of the band “Stone Sessions”—a fictional band that I just made up on the spot. He told me that he had every single one of their albums. The look on his face was priceless when I told him that I had just made up the band!
35. Getting Week at the Knees
I had an angry customer on the phone saying that someone had promised her a ridiculous deal that had obviously never happened. She “couldn’t remember” when I asked her who she was speaking to at the time, so I tried to inquire a little further:
Me: “When did you call in?”
Me: “Did you speak to someone who was male or female?”
Her: “A woman.”
Me: “We don’t have any female employees who answer the phones on Thursday.”
Her: “No, wait, it was actually Wednesday!”
Me: “We didn’t have a female employee working the phones at any time for the past week.”
36. The Ties That Bind Us
I created a binder for a hotel that my company owns and filled it with forms and templates. I highlighted and wrote clear explanations of everything on each page. About a month later, I go over to the property to assist with some things, and the GM brings out the binder and says, “yeah, I just put this together as a tool for us here.”
I immediately tell him, “No, you didn’t. I made that and gave it to you.” His face went white as he tried to recover by saying, “Well, I added a few things.” He didn’t. I definitely loved the faces of my colleagues when I went back to the office and told them all about it!
37. Customer Disservice
I used to work for Comcast in their customer retention center. One call that I’ll never forget was the time this college kid called up trying to cancel his service and was put on the line with me. The call went something like this:
Me: Hi, welcome to Comcast. How may I help you?
Him: Yeah, I need to cancel my service on [this day].
Me: I’m sorry to hear that, have you considered not canceling? (Obviously, this part is heavily abridged here.)
Him: Nope. My semester is over and I’m moving back in with my parents in [a city that doesn’t have Comcast].
Me: Okay, no problem. I’ve gotten that all set up for you. Is there anything else that I can help you with today?
Him: Yeah. I need you to credit my last six months of service.
Me: …I’m sorry? Could you repeat that.
Him: (now sounding agitated): Your lousy service didn’t work and I shouldn’t have to pay for it. Credit it. Now.
Me: (still confused): Why didn’t you ever call into our technical support department in all that time?
Him: I didn’t have time. I’m a college student.
Me: So let me get this straight. Your service didn’t work at all. Like, if you turned on the TV at any point within the past six months, all that you’d get was static—and it’s been like that constantly since December?
Him: That’s what I’ve been saying!
Me: Then why, according to our records, did you rent a movie last night?
He then nervously spurted out a bunch of incomprehensible gibberish, followed by a short apology, followed by hanging up. That was probably my favorite call in the entire four years that I worked there for.
38. A Mechanical Error
When I was in college, I had just purchased two new front tires for my car this one time until, about a week later, one of my back tires got punctured by a nail. So I went in to the local tire shop to have it replaced. Later that day, they gave me a call:
Tire Shop: “The estimate to fix the puncture is X. Would you like us to repair it?”
Me: “Yes, please.” It was a reasonable price.
Tire Shop: “Also, I noticed that the treads on your front tires look dangerously low.”
Me: “My two front tires?”
Tire Shop: “Yes. They are at two-thirty-seconds of an inch low. This is legally worn down and they should be replaced. I can do it today for X dollars.”
Me: “So you are telling me right now that my two front tires are dangerously worn down?”
Tire Shop: “Yes.”
Me: “My brand new tires that I bought last week?”
Tire Shop: “Oh…”
Me: “You know what, forget about fixing the puncture. I’ll be by in a minute to pick up my car so that I can take it somewhere else.”
39. She Walked Right Into That One…
My boyfriend used to work the third shift at a popular gas station on the East coast. He worked with one of those notoriously terrible coworkers who calls in sick all the time with a ton of wild excuses. Well, one night, she called in saying that she was sick, that she was vomiting and feverish, and that she was sorry, but there was no way that she could come in.
The only person available to take her shift that night was the district manager, who happened to be in the area for a meeting. So, the district manager comes in and works the cash register with my boyfriend. At around 3 in the morning, who should walk in but the supposedly sick coworker! Oh, but it gets even better than that.
She was clearly wasted beyond belief and had innocently come in to buy two rolls of Tums, thinking that one of her friends would be there filling in for her. When she reached the front of the checkout line to discover that the district manager was the one who had actually taken her shift that night, she was fired on the spot.
40. He Would Have Found out Eventually Anyway…
My buddy was dating my roommate. They then broke up, which made things awkward for me. Well, after a few days, she suddenly went all crazy on him and told him that they needed to get back together right away because she was pregnant. A few days later, I started noticing that the stash of feminine products that my roommate always kept under the sink was mysteriously dwindling away.
Upon hearing this news from me, I’ve never seen a more relieved person in my life. He called her out on it and they broke up again—this time for good.
41. Never on a Sunday
It was a Sunday afternoon. I know that my fiancee sometimes skips meals because she’s too busy. So, I usually ask her if she has already eaten today shortly after lunchtime.
Me: “Have you eaten today?”
Me: “What did you eat?”
A few hours go by. For some reason, I can’t help the feeling that something is fishy. There’s no Chick-fil-A bag in the trash, and she usually does drive-thru. I start trying to think hard as to why it seems like she is lying. I have a sudden craving for Chick-fil-A as well. Then it hits me. I am craving Chick-fil-A because today is Sunday, and they are not open on Sundays!
The only day of the week when I crave Chick-fil-A is the day that they are closed! BUSTED! We had a good laugh when I confronted her about it. She graciously admitted her error and went to grab a bite to eat.
42. Hunting for Problems
Brother of mine caught his wife cheating. Her phone would always be going off and she would hide it. He got curious, looked into it, and found some guy had been texting her for a few months. She said she was going to stay home because she had to catch up on homework over the weekend. My brother and I went on our hunting trip and he told me about it.
We never left the city, we went to my house and stayed there till it got dark, then drove back to his neighborhood in my neighbor’s car. She sent him a picture of her at home saying she was going to go to bed early that night. Well, we snuck close to the house after a car parked down the street and a guy walked to the house and let himself in.
My brother was fuming at this point and wanted to beat the crap out of the guy. I settled him down and told him to think about the long run. We snuck up to the house and using the night vision camera got video of them bumping uglies in the living room. My brother wanted to confront this guy at this point so… I did something messed up and called the cops. I said I heard a lot of yelling from the house and asked if they could go check. It kept my brother from messing with the dude (a coworker of hers).
Cops show up, take statements. We leave and the next day he pulls her iMessages off the email account and talks to a lawyer. We give the lawyer the messages and when we show up five days later from our “hunting trip,” he calls her and says he got something wild and wants her to come out and see it.
When she comes out he gives her divorce papers and kicks her out of the house. She had the police do a civil stand by while she got her stuff a few days later. House was his before they got married so all she got to keep was some stuff they bought together and her car. No kids and the prenup nullified the alimony she could have gotten as he made way more money than her.
The guy she was sleeping with had a record. We saw her a few months later, she tried talking to my wife and said she missed my brother and she was sorry, the guy and her broke up shortly after the divorce.
43. Family Values
My mother is a terrible person. And I don’t say that lightly. She has stolen medication from me after I had oral surgery. On two occasions (a decade apart from each other), she stole my identity and my sibling’s, opened several fraudulent credit card accounts in our names, maxed them out (tens of thousands of dollars), and never made a single payment.
She tells people that she’s a nurse when she barely even finished high school. She also often makes up extravagant and potentially damaging lies, all of which she believes she’ll never be caught for. Yes, she’s a terrible person, but my dad isn’t—so when my now-adult daughter was an adolescent, my mother was allowed to spend time with her.
A few years ago, I’d lost my job, was having trouble finding employment, and had to trade in my sports car for a Sedan so that I could drive rideshare to make ends meet. My mother told my daughter and several relatives that my car had been repossessed for nonpayment. It was upsetting, but I knew just what I had to do.
I took great satisfaction in clearing by name by showing the dealership papers to my daughter, my relatives, and yes, the shrewish, lying old jerk herself as well. The aftermath was both hilarious and sad, as she tends to have a vile temper.
44. Cheaters Never Prosper
I knew my ex wife was cheating but didn’t tell her that I knew. Took her out for a dinner date and I casually asked questions about who she had been spending time with while I was at sea, she barely worked so she had to spend her time doing something. She failed to mention the guy that had been staying at my house for nearly two months, the guy she had to call the cops on just to get to leave because I was coming home in two days…soooo I slid her a copy of the police report that was filed for the incident and watched as she crumbled over the fact she had been caught, and I didn’t have to say a word.
45. Check the Texts
Ex girlfriend told me she was going to a “girls only” pool party with some of her fellow waitresses from the restaurant she worked at.
I had felt something weird going on for a bit and had put a lot of effort into making that night a surprise “date night.” I worked that morning, while she worked in the evening. While she was at work I cleaned the whole apartment (that we shared), cooked a fancy surf and turf dinner with filet mignon, lobster tails, butter pasta, expensive wine, etc. Also rented a few movies I knew she would like. So when after dinner she suddenly told me she was going to this pool party at around 10 pm (!!!) and I couldn’t come I was pretty exasperated and knew something was not right.
Noticed she was putting her phone face down every time she received a text about this party. While she is putting on her sexiest bikini to wear under her clothes on her way over to this party I decide to look at the phone and it’s some dude from her work (under the name Angela in her phone), telling her he can’t wait to see her, can’t stop thinking about the other night, etc. Scroll down a bit and they even said they loved each other. There’s not really a worse feeling in the world when you are in love with someone and they do that to you.
She comes back into the room and queue one of the worst nights I’ve ever had as she blames all of this on me not proposing to her quickly enough (we were 22, relatively poor, and in college and I did want very much to marry her). She trashes the apartment, breaks the screen off of my laptop, cuts up a few of my favorite shirts, and breaks MY phone after going through it looking for some sort of justification for her actions and finding none by throwing it at the wall and stomping on it. But hey…it was satisfying knowing that I wasn’t going crazy and I learned some valuable life lessons.
46. Don’t Let Sleeping Babes Lie
I worked daycare and was told to never accept babies sleeping in car seats or sleeping children at all. So if Mom or Dad brought a kid asleep, I immediately woke them up and pulled them out of their car seat. This made so many parents displeased with me but it’s policy.
I used to think it was to help the kid be on a schedule, then one day a grandma brought a baby asleep and he was not waking up at all. Just would raise his head, whimper, and go back to sleep. Immediately my boss called 911 and grandma was trying to downplay “he had a rough night, he’s just tired, etc.” I knew this baby, he wouldn’t sleep if he thought he was going to miss out, we had music playing and kids loudly singing and dancing. In the chaos, grandma slipped out and at some point, someone called the parents.
Turns out Granny had a history of giving kids stuff to knock them out when she babysat, but this time she did it to a six-month-old and that’s why he wouldn’t wake up. I think they pumped the kid’s stomach and he had a stay at the hospital. Legal actions were taken and the family moved away.
To clarify, the policy was put in place because my boss knew abusers have been known to do this. They’d break the kid’s arm, dose them, dump them with the sitter who lets the baby asleep all morning then because the kid was with the sitter all day, it’s easy to blame them for the baby’s injury. Or worse, the baby died and they do this to blame the sitter.
So yea, to this day if I’m babysitting, I don’t accept sleeping children. I flat out refuse to watch kids at their home while they’re sleeping for the same reason. I’ve pretty much stopped doing any child care because as much as I love kids, watching parents make bad decisions on purpose when they know better, was killing my soul.