There are certain questions that we will always rely on Google for. How to cook quinoa? (no, I’ll never remember). How to do a screenshot on a Mac? (why isn’t there one button?). Why is the sky blue? (we’ve got you covered). And for those of us who don’t have to wear a suit to work every day, there’s the infamous, wedding- or funeral-driven eternal question: how to tie a tie?
How to Tie a Tie Editorial
How to Tie a Half-Windsor Knot
If you’re here, you likely don’t often have to tackle the medieval torture device known as a men’s tie. And for that reason, it’s a fair assumption that you’re not here for some kind of fancy, complicated knot. You just want to get that tie around your neck and out of the door. May we suggest: the half-Windsor knot. First, start by looping the tie around your neck and looping from left to ri—oh, who are we kidding, this is a process that needs a visual aid.
The half-Windsor is a great everyday knot—less thick than its full Windsor counterpart, and suitable for all occasions. Still too hard?
How to Tie an Oriental Knot
The regressively-named Oriental knot is somehow even easier than the half-Windsor. It works with nearly any kind of tie and shirt collar. It runs a bit long, so if you’re a short king, try that half-Windsor again, it’ll serve you better.
There you go. You’re ready to get out of the door and get to that job interview/cousin you’ve never met’s wedding/funeral that hopefully has really good catering. But wait? Gasp! It’s an even more formal event, and it requires…oh no—a bow tie?
How to Tie a Bow Tie
We’re so sorry it got to this point. No one wants to be involved in an event where you’re obligated to wear a bow tie, unless you’re James Bond—but if you were, you’d probably already know how to tie a bow tie, so let’s get on with it and get to the diagram.
Honestly? This one’s beyond even my field of expertise. Nine steps? Good luck, brother. Next time, just get a clip-on.