She’s Considered One Of The Worst
Many see Mary Todd Lincoln as one of the worst first ladies in American history. Sure, she may have spent like Imelda Marcos, and yes, she dabbled in seances and brought spiritualists to the White House. But could there be another reason why she gets such a horrible rating?
Todd faced unimaginable loss before, during, and after her stay at the White House. She also may have suffered an undiagnosed and mood-altering illness for her entire life.
Nicolas H. Shepherd, photographer.Jebulon for restoration and upload, Wikimedia Commons
1. She Was Born Into Privilege
Mary Todd was born in Lexington, Kentucky, on December 13, 1818. She entered the family as the fourth child, but her parents eventually had seven children in total. Her father, Robert Todd, was a wealthy banker who was also a slave-owner. It was a privileged life for Mary Todd, but there was also an early tragedy.
Mathew Benjamin Brady, Wikimedia Commons
2. She Faced A Devastating Loss
When Todd was just six years old, her mother went into childbirth. Sadly, Elizabeth Todd did not survive the ordeal, and Mary was left without a mother. Dad found a replacement the next year in another Elizabeth, who went by Betsy. These two would eventually have nine children together. Luckily, the mansion where she lived had 14 rooms.
Todd’s education was also just for the elite.
FloNight (Sydney Poore) and Russell Poore, Wikimedia Commons
3. She Went To Finishing School
Of course, Todd did not attend public school. Her education came from Madame Mentelle’s finishing school. Besides training in dance, drama, music, and manners, Todd also walked away with fluent French. Of those who knew her, most saw Todd as gregarious and witty.
When she turned 21, she made a big move.
4. She Was Popular With The Gentlemen
In 1839, Todd made the trek to Springfield, Illinois. She moved in with her sister Elizabeth, who was the wife of a congressman. The husband, Ninian W Edwards, was officially her guardian. As it turned out, she really needed a guardian to watch her, as Todd became quite popular with the local young men.
Choosing just one was going to be difficult.
5. She Gave Up On For Another
Of the men who were after Todd, there was a standout. The man in question, Stephen A. Douglas, worked as a lawyer and politician for the Democratic Party. It seemed like a good match, but then one day she met a man named Abraham Lincoln who had come for a visit to her house.
Todd soon forgot about Douglas and focused on Lincoln.
Screenshot from Lincoln, DreamWorks Pictures (2012)
6. They Shared Politics
One of the things that drew Mary Todd to Lincoln was politics. They were both Whigs, which would later morph into the Republican Party. The two began dating, and this led to an engagement. But there was one major marriage-destroying obstacle.
Mathew Benjamin Brady, Wikimedia Commons
7. The Engagement Did Not Last
The thing was, Lincoln wasn’t from an upper-class family like Todd was. He was definitely lower class and, at that time anyway, his future was still up in the air. Todd didn’t care about this, but her sister and Edwards, who was her guardian, did. They made them break off their engagement. It ended on January 1, 1841—a day that Lincoln would later call "that fatal first of January".
But this wasn’t over yet.
Alexander Gardner / Abraham Lincoln, Wikimedia Commons
8. She Kept It A Secret
Todd was apart from Lincoln for 18 months, but her heart had not changed. The two found each other again and continued their relationship. This time, she kept it a secret from her guardian. She and Lincoln also planned a secret wedding ceremony behind the backs of Todd’s sister and brother-in-law. The date was November 4, 1842.
But a chance meeting had the potential to derail their plans.
Screenshot from Lincoln, DreamWorks Pictures (2012)
History's most fascinating stories and darkest secrets, delivered to your inbox daily.
9. They Met On The Street
On the day he planned to elope with Mary Todd in secret, Lincoln ran into Todd's guardian on the street. Lincoln was an honest man and could not lie to Edwards. He confessed that he and Todd planned to marry that very day. Edwards was not happy, but he had a surprising suggestion.
Collections700, Wikimedia Commons
10. She Married Below Her Class
Instead of making Todd and Lincoln cancel their secret wedding, Edwards offered his own home as a venue. This doesn't mean he supported it, but he just wanted them to have a nice place to tie the knot. Todd’s sister also had to eat her words and let the marriage happen.
All they could do was watch as Todd entered a marriage with a lower class man with slim future possibilities.
Screenshot from Lincoln, DreamWorks Pictures (2012)
11. She Had To Settle
Mary Todd, now Mary Todd Lincoln, had enjoyed a life of luxury in a 14-room mansion. After marrying in Abraham Lincoln, she settled into—and settled for—a one-room apartment that sat above a tavern. It must have been true love, because Todd stayed with Lincoln and together they had a son, Robert. A year after living with a baby in a tiny apartment, the three of them moved into a small cottage.
But this family was just going to get bigger.
Screenshot from Lincoln, DreamWorks Pictures (2012)
12. She Supported Her Husband
Lincoln was busy becoming a successful lawyer, and Todd was equally busy raising their ever-expanding collection of children. In 1948, another son, Edward Baker Lincoln, entered their lives. In 1850, baby William was born. Sadly, the same year, Edward passed due to tuberculosis. He was just four years old.
This loss devastated both Todd and Lincoln. But there would be more loss in their future.
Unknown authorUnknown author, Wikimedia Commons
13. She Was All Alone
In 1853, Todd and Lincoln rounded out the family with yet another son: Thomas Lincoln, who went by Tad. The problem was that Lincoln's work often took him out of town, and this left Todd alone with her three boys. Sometimes this went on for months at a time.
And then her husband got much, much busier.
14. Her Husband Became President
In 1860, Mary Todd Lincoln and her husband moved up in the world. He went from being an Illinois lawyer to the President of the United States. During his election, Lincoln received no votes from the Southern states at all. This was primarily because they knew that Lincoln was against slavery, and the Southern states were still in favor of it.
This would prove to be awkward for Todd.
Screenshot from Lincoln, DreamWorks Pictures (2012)
15. She Went Against Her Family
Remember, Todd came from a family that owned slaves. So her husband’s anti-slavery stance created an awkward situation. Todd decided she would stand by her husband, even though it meant perhaps making her own relatives cross.
But there were other issues at the White House that made Todd’s life difficult.
Screenshot from Lincoln, DreamWorks Pictures (2012)
16. She Had Difficulties
As the first lady, Mary Todd Lincoln was now the social coordinator of the White House and she was not so good at navigating her way through some of her responsibilities—likely, because she had to deal with journalists, solicitors, and political rivals. Tensions were running high with Lincoln in the White House, and Todd was struggling to do her job well.
Well, tensions at the White House soon rose even higher.
Screenshot from Lincoln, DreamWorks Pictures (2012)
17. She Was Involved In Her Husband’s Work
Just one month after becoming president, a battle that pitted the Southern states against the Northern ones began. This was again about slavery, and Todd had to remain standing beside her husband. Todd spent her time maintaining high morale during this time. She visited the hospital and gave fruit and flowers to the wounded.
After doing all this good, there were still some haters out there.
Screenshot from Lincoln, DreamWorks Pictures (2012)
18. She Was Seen As Pretentious
Mary Todd Lincoln was the first First Lady to be from the west and most of the people she encountered at the White House were easterners. Because of this, Todd got a reputation for having coarse manners. They also called her pretentious. Well, she sort of brought this on herself.
Screenshot from Lincoln, DreamWorks Pictures (2012)
19. She Shopped Til She Dropped
Todd was not one to be shy about spending. One of her indulgences was jewelry. She made shopping trips to the very exclusive Galt & Bros, where she shopped on credit. She also decided that the White House needed work. She redecorated all the private rooms and then did the same on the public ones. When it came to the dining room, she decided that a complete set of expensive new china was necessary.
Of course, she still had to explain her spending to her husband.
Harris & Ewing, photographer, Wikimedia Commons
20. Her Husband Wasn’t Happy
Remember, Mary Todd Lincoln was from an upper-class family, and Abraham Lincoln was certainly not. So, when he saw her lavish spending, he got quite angry. Worse still, he had to ask Congress to pass a pair of appropriations in order to pay for her over the top spending.
While spending money like this seems like a lot of fun, Todd was suffering as well.
Screenshot from Lincoln, DreamWorks Pictures (2012)
21. She Lost Another
Todd had terrible headaches for most of her adult life. But when she banged her head in a carriage accident, they got worse. She was also dealing with depression. In 1862, both Willie and Tad got typhoid fever from drinking the White House’s contaminated water. Now Todd certainly had a reason to be depressed.
When Willie passed on, Todd’s battles with mental illness increased to a frightening level.
Chicago History Museum, Getty Images
22. She Locked Herself Away
After losing her son Willie, Mary Todd Lincoln went into her bedroom and stayed there for three weeks. Her grief prevented her from even attending the funeral of her son. She did eventually leave her bedroom, but would never reenter the Green Room, where they had embalmed Willie, or the Prince of Wales room, where he had passed.
But Todd’s depression was only going to get worse.
Screenshot from Lincoln, DreamWorks Pictures (2012)
23. She Needed Help
Todd was too heartbroken to even look after the son who had survived. Lincoln himself cared for Tad. Todd went so far as to forbid Willie’s friends from ever coming to the White House again. So little Tad lost those friends as well. Todd’s grief was so serious that Lincoln had to hire a nurse just to take care of her.
But Todd thought she needed more than a nurse.
Screenshot from Lincoln, DreamWorks Pictures (2012)
24. She Turned To The Spirit World
It was around the time of Willie’s passing that Mary Todd Lincoln turned to spiritualists and mediums to help her with her grief. But it went further than just seances to communicate with lost loved ones. One spiritualist told her that the president’s entire cabinet was against him, and that Lincoln should fire them all.
In time, Todd would come around. But there was an even bigger heartache in her future.
Screenshot from Lincoln, DreamWorks Pictures (2012)
25. Things Were Looking Up
On April 14, 1865, it became clear that the North had won against the South in the Civil War in the United States. Also in the news that day was an announcement that Lincoln and the First Lady were going to attend a play at the Ford Theater. Todd had one of her headaches and said she wouldn’t attend. Lincoln insisted, and the two went to the theater.
These would be their last moments together.
Adam Cuerden, Wikimedia Commons
26. She Held His Hand
Todd and Lincoln sat together closely in their box at the theater, holding hands. During the play, Todd asked Lincoln if their hand holding would bother their guest. Lincoln thought it was fine. During the third act, there was a scene that always provoked loud laughter from the audience.
But that night, there was another very loud sound.
Screenshot from Lincoln, DreamWorks Pictures (2012)
27. She Held Him Up
As the audience laughed, John Wilkes Booth entered the presidential booth and opened fire. Lincoln was also laughing as the slug struck him in the head. Lincoln was unconscious, and Todd became frantic. She had to hold him up in his chair to stop him from crumbling to the ground.
Lincoln needed medical attention, and he needed it immediately.
28. She Was At His Side
Lincoln was rushed to a house across the street so doctors could attend to him. He was in a coma. It wasn’t until the next morning that they allowed Todd to go to her husband’s side. Once there, she kissed him and called him “every endearing name". The coma lasted nine excruciating hours. Eventually, Lincoln’s breathing became quiet, and his face appeared to be calm. Todd was at his side, as he peacefully passed.
Todd had to get ready to mourn her husband. And unfortunately for her, it would be a very public mourning.
Alonzo Chappel, Wikimedia Commons
29. The Country Mourned
To commemorate the passing of the President, a funeral train carried his body around the country. Back at the White House, Todd's spiritualists were swarming around and putting ideas into her head about messages from Lincoln. These messages were playing with Todd’s sanity, so her son had them all thrown out of the White House.
Todd needed a stable place to live.
Screenshot from Lincoln, DreamWorks Pictures (2012)
30. She Needed Family
Mary Todd Lincoln was now a widow, and she realized she needed to be with family. She only had two living sons, so she moved to Chicago to be near them. Her other concern was money. Lincoln had left her quite a sizable estate, which totaled out at $80,000. This would be more than $1.5 million today. But Todd had one problem. She still hadn’t learned about handling money.
She had to stoop to desperate measures to keep her lifestyle where she wanted it.
Screenshot from Lincoln, DreamWorks Pictures (2012)
31. She Acted Irrationally
Todd’s first odd decision was to return most of the jewelry she’d bought on credit. She then advertised in the newspaper that she would be selling off some of her personal effects. Members of the public felt a great sense of shock to see the former First Lady reduced to these actions.
As it turned out, Americans would not have to watch Todd’s actions for long.
Screenshot from Lincoln, DreamWorks Pictures (2012)
32. She Left America
Mary Todd Lincoln decided that she and Tad would do better in Europe than in America. Even though she had money from Lincoln, she arranged for a wealthy American family living in Germany to pay for the passage and help her and her son settle there.
But Todd’s thirst for money continued.
Brady, Mathew B., 1823 (ca.)-1896, photographer., Wikimedia Commons
33. She Asked For A Pension
While still in Germany, Mary Todd Lincoln decided to lobby Congress for some more money. She held a letter writing campaign, and her reasoning was that since the wounded’s wives got a pension, she should too. Todd didn't have many supporters in Congress, but the motion passed anyway. Todd was now collecting $3,000 a year, which would be over $75,000 today.
When Todd had had enough of Europe, she and Tad returned to America. Sadly, there was more heartache in store.
Screenshot from Lincoln, DreamWorks Pictures (2012)
34. She Faced Yet Another Loss
Once back in the US, Tad fell ill—just like his older brothers before him. On July 15, 1871, he tragically passed. Reports of the cause vary and include pneumonia, heart failure, and tuberculosis. Whatever the reason, Todd was once again facing a terrible familial loss.
You couldn’t blame her for starting to come apart at the seams.
Screenshot from Lincoln, DreamWorks Pictures (2012)
35. She Was Paranoid
Todd’s family life had taken one beating after another. She’d lost a husband and three sons in her relatively short lifetime. All that remained was her oldest son, Robert. Todd became so sure that she’d lose him, too, that she started imagining him suffering from terrible illnesses. Her paranoia also affected her. She once believed that someone was trying to poison her while traveling on the train.
She had other strange behaviors.
Brady National Photographic Art Gallery (Washington, D.C.), photographer., Wikimedia Commons
36. She Hid Money In A Strange Place
Todd’s relationship with money spiraled out of control. She went wild spending money on things she didn’t need. Ironically, she couldn’t stop worrying about becoming poor. She still wore only black clothes, but there was something strange there, too. Under her mourning clothes, she wore petticoats stuffed with government bonds.
And then there was an infamous photograph that made some people really question her sanity.
![Title: Mary Lincoln in mourning attire] / Joseph Ward, 125 Washington Street, Boston
Abstract/medium: 1 photograph : albumen print on card mount ; mount 10 x 7 cm (carte de visite format)](https://www.factinate.com/storage/app/media/factinate/2026/7/22/1784712161ee28f1a7e9ca92aa5121254894a5600c32c2213c.jpg)
J. Ward & Son (Firm), photographer, Wikimedia Commons
37. She Saw A Ghost
In 1872, Mary Todd Lincoln went to visit spiritualist photographer William H Mumler. She disguised her identity and asked him to take her photo. When Mumler showed Todd the picture that he had taken, there appeared to be a ghostly image of a man beside her. Mumler’s wife stepped in and managed to get Todd to admit who she was and that the man in the picture was Abraham Lincoln.
Todd’s bizarre behaviors were mounting. It was only a matter of time before someone stepped in.
William H. Mumler, Wikimedia Commons
38. He Arranged An Intervention
Believing in ghostly images, her growing paranoia, and her bizarre attitude toward money led Todd’s surviving son Robert to do something desperate. He wanted to put her in an asylum for her own safety. He knew he needed a judge’s approval because she wouldn’t go willingly. So, Robert secretly organized a trial.
This was going to be a horrible surprise for Todd.
Retouched by: Mmxx, Wikimedia Commons
39. It Was An Ambush
On May 19, 1875, Leonard Swift, a lawyer who knew both Mary Todd Lincoln and her husband, forced Todd to go to the courthouse. She had no idea why. When she got there, it became clear that there was an insanity trial going on, and she was at the center of it. 17 different witnesses spoke about her behavior. The entirely male members of the jury called Todd insane.
Her next stop would’ve been an asylum—but Todd had a different idea.
40. She Sunk To Desperate Measures
Todd wasn't about to enter the asylum willingly. Before they forced her to go, she visited a few pharmacies and started putting together enough medication to end her life. Luckily, one of the pharmacists caught on to her plan and gave her a placebo.
It looked like she was going to the asylum after all.
Screenshot from Lincoln, DreamWorks Pictures (2012)
41. She Planned Her Escape
Mary Todd Lincoln did enter Bellevue Place asylum, but she was soon planning her escape. She secretly sent letters to her lawyer and his wife, who were also friends. She also wrote letters to the Chicago Times editor. Suddenly, Robert looked like the bad guy in all this, and many questioned his decision to lock his mom away. After all, Robert was now in charge of Todd’s finances.
Things were looking good for Todd.
G LeTourneau, Wikimedia Commons
42. They Set Her Free
When the publicity came out that Todd was living in an asylum against her will, the people at the asylum did something surprising. They said that she was free to go. Todd didn’t wait a second before going to live in freedom with her Eliza sisterbeth in Springfield. She also now had the right to manage her own finances and other affairs.
You couldn’t blame Todd for feeling a little cool toward her son.
Screenshot from Lincoln, DreamWorks Pictures (2012)
43. She Lost Contact With Her Son
Needless to say, after her confinement in the asylum, things with her son Robert were awkward. The two stopped speaking, and Mary Todd Lincoln left for Europe. She ended up in Pau, France, where her health started to decline. It was her eyesight that suffered most. She had cataracts that sometimes made her fall. One fall, from a stepladder, resulted in a spinal cord injury.
But she was well enough to do what she did best: look for more money.
National Photo Company Collection, Wikimedia Commons
44. She Lobbied For Money
Life in France was costing Todd money, and she was soon running short. In 1881, she went to New York City and tried to get her pension increased. You see, President Garfield had suffered a similar fate as Lincoln, and his family was receiving provisions. In spite of her terrible reputation for mishandling money, Congress gave Todd an increase and a cash advance.
Sadly, Todd would have little time to spend it.
Unknown; part of Brady-Handy Photograph Collection., Wikimedia Commons
45. She Collapsed
Mary Todd Lincoln didn’t return to France but decided to live out her remaining days with her sister back in Springfield, Illinois. Exactly 11 years after Tad passed, Todd collapsed and, like her husband, went into a coma. By the next morning, she was gone due to a stroke. She was 63 years old. They laid her to rest at Oakridge Cemetery next to her sons.
Years later, many people were wondering what had really happened to Todd’s sanity.
Robert Lawton, Wikimedia Commons
46. She Used Medication
In her book, The Emancipator's Wife, Barbara Hambly claims that Todd was using over-the-counter medications over her lifetime. But these were not your typical medications. Hambly believes that one of them was opium. Surely this could account for some of Todd’s bizarre behavior.
And then there were the forgotten and presumably lost letters.
Katherine Helm, Wikimedia Commons
47. Her Letters Were Hidden Away
In 1927, Myra Helmer Pritchard was ready to publish a book containing letters written by Mary Todd Lincoln. When Robert Lincoln’s widow read the book, she did everything she could to stop the publication. The author received a large payment and handed over the letters. But the story didn't end there.
No photographer credited., Wikimedia Commons, Modified
48. She Finally Got A Diagnosis
Many years later, writer Jason Emerson came across these same letters and decided to write a book. In 2007, he published The Madness of Mary Lincoln, where he proposed that Todd suffered from bipolar disorder. He said that if this happened now, they would commit her for seven days, give her medication and she’d be on her own.
But the jury is still out. Did she suffer from mental illness, or was she just a bad first lady?
Screenshot from Lincoln, DreamWorks Pictures (2012)
49. She Was Meddling And Disruptive
As far as historians go, most see Mary Todd Lincoln as a "meddling and disruptive” First Lady. Worse still, they see her as a first lady who made her husband’s life more difficult rather than easier. Some see the loss of her children and husband as factors that made her life more difficult than it should have been.
But the way we see Todd is slowly changing.
Currier and Ives, Wikimedia Commons
50. She’s On The Rise
Siena College Research Institute carries out surveys on First Ladies, and every time they do them, Todd’s name has sat firmly near the bottom. In 2020, something changed. Maybe it’s due to more research about Todd, cultural depictions of her, or maybe because society as a whole is more sensitive to mental illness, but Todd has started rising on the scale. She may never reach the top spot—Eleanor Roosevelt always gets that—but there’s still time.
Adam Jones from Kelowna, BC, Canada, Wikimedia Commons
You May Also Like:
Steely Facts About Eleanor Roosevelt, The Reluctant First Lady
Little-Known Facts About First Ladies
Tumultuous Facts About Eva Perón, Argentina’s Iconic First Lady
