When you've got toxic coworkers, at least you can escape them at home. There's no escaping your family though. From competitive siblings to helicopter parents and everything in between, these toxic families are the worst.
1. Not The Greatest Problem Solver In The World
My identical twin has always been competitive with me. We were raised by narcissists, so we were often pitted against each other. She married her high school sweetheart about a year after our father passed. I moved two states away for grad school when I was 22 and only come home on special occasions like holidays nowadays.
Christmas 2018 was one of those holidays I was home. I alternate spending holidays with my family and my partner’s family. At the time, I was dealing with a health scare that Web MD said could either be a hormone imbalance or cancer. I was freaking out. My partner didn’t know how to be supportive because we’re in our 20s and kind of dumb.
We were arguing somewhat consistently for the month. Anyway, my sister has a bad habit of cheating on her husband whenever they’re dealing with an argument. It’s been going on for almost as long as they’ve been married. He knows but won’t do anything about it because he’s in love with her. My sister invited me to spend an evening with her and her husband.
It was supposed to be us just catching up and having a few beers. I couldn’t believe it when I realized what her plan was. She invited a guy from her husband’s work that she thought I would find attractive. Because, you know, she thought I wanted to cheat on my partner because we were fighting at the time. That didn’t pan out, and he left.
She then invited one of her college friends over. We had a good talk, but that’s it. It turns out we had a lot in common. I was texting my partner the whole time, and he was less than thrilled about the whole situation. We had a good talk, and my issues were resolved a few weeks later; it was just hormones. My partner and I are now engaged and very happy.
He still hates my sister, and I don’t blame him.
2. We All Go Down Together
Back when my awful sister was planning her wedding, her even worse mother-in-law wanted to be a part of it. Unfortunately for everyone involved, this woman wanted her family traditions involved. The food...okay, the giant line dance...okay, but then she sprang the big one on my poor mother. It was apparently a tradition in her family that unmarried older daughters had to do a dance in a pig trough at the reception.
Well, my sister and brother-in-law thought that would be hilarious. Being that I was the only unmarried older daughter...So funny. My poor mom was getting torn down by this mother-in-law—because it was just a JOKE. That was repeated and insisted on in every single phone call. Meanwhile, my mom is just trying to protect me from that spectacle and wasn’t telling me.
But finally, I saw her crying and she told me what was going on. But there was one thing they weren’t counting on. At that point, I was only a short time out of a very horrible relationship. I didn't remember how to say "no" yet, but I did remember how to say "I'm taking you all down with me.” And oh boy, did I ever come up with a genius plan.
I told the mother-in-law that I'd be happy to do that dance in front of her entire family…undressed. And only undressed. Suddenly, it wasn't so funny anymore. Eventually, they all shut up about it, but that was the last time that woman ever spoke to me. It's been 12 years, by the way.
3. Meet Your New Mom
My mom has 75% and primary physical custody of us kids but my parents share legal custody. However, my dad is an awful jerk so I refused to see him after I was 13. Later, for various reasons, my mom and I moved to another state. My mom never remarried but my dad had a series of girlfriends throughout my childhood. This never really bothered me.
After all, he left when I was six weeks old and I never actually knew what it was like when my parents were romantically involved. Anyways, one day when I was something like 13 years old, I come back from school to find an odd car parked on the street and my dad basically said “okay, you’re gonna meet my new girlfriend now.” I went along with him and just kind of ignored him with a very bored look on my face.
That annoyed him, but whatever. I walk into the basement and there’s a random woman there. She’s significantly younger than my dad, who is in his 50s. She looks me up and down. I couldn’t believe her next words. With the most saccharine sweet tone she says, “Hi! I’m your new mom” and smiles at me. At this moment I was like “Oh, heck no”.
For what it’s worth, my mom raised me completely on her own and financed everything. My father did not pay child support. My mom took care of me in every way and she is the only one of the two who I consider an actual parent. So this witch was in no way my mom. I told her “screw off,” turned around, and went back up the stairs.
I couldn’t drive at the time but I was not having it. But they weren’t even finished. They followed me up to the driveway and kept bothering me and asking why that offended me. Then this girl tries to come up and hug me and I shoved her off me. I still had my backpack and jacket with me, so I decided to just leave. They followed me for a while and tried to chase me down.
However, a 13-year-old who is very angry is a lot faster than a 50-year-old man and his very annoying girlfriend who should have not worn heels that day. Once I got far enough away and closer to my mom’s, I texted her to come pick me up and that was that. This was one of the last interactions I had with my father before cutting him off completely.
I find this story hilarious, though then again I use humor to cope.
4. A Little Slice Of Life
A 13-year-old kid down the street has the most ridiculous family. His mom, dad, and grandma were always with him. ALWAYS. He had NEVER been away from them. Even when they have a nanny to watch him, one of them was there. The kid was never on his own for anything. But then it got extremely creepy.
We had them to a party in the park and when the 13-year-old asked for a hot dog the mom FREAKED out. Not because it was a hot dog, as some parents have dietary restrictions, but because I served them whole! She took the hot dog from his hand and cut it for him into little baby bites, like I would do for my one-year-old at the time.
She then handed it back to him like she saved his life. Let me get this straight: He was a normal teen with no mental impediments. The dad also took him to the bathroom with a gallon of sanitizer and baby wipes and make "sure" the boy washed his hands.
These people hold regular jobs—one is a lawyer, one is an admin at our local hospital, and the grandma used to be an executive with the state attorney. They seem to have taken it to the next level helicoptering weirdness.
5. Pony It Up
My dad finally got what he deserved in court today. I'm an adult now but he “kept his child support payments hostage” so to speak since I cut ties with him at 15 for his awful behavior. He now owes a grand total of $20,736. The court found him to be so untrustworthy that they have ordered that the amount come directly out of his paycheck each month until the debt is paid.
My next two years of college will be free thanks to him. See you never, Tom! I also just found out through some less awful family members that my dad's pregnant wife is NOT happy with the fact that he is now 20k in the hole with a baby on the way and she is seriously considering divorce. If she goes through with it, he will have to pay child support all over again for another 18 years. I am guffawing.
6. Not The Daddy
Let me preface this by saying that my relationship with my parents is terrible. However, due to....current global events...I have been forced to return to my parents’ house. I thought I had finally gotten free, and was prepping myself to finally cut them off for good...but no. In one phone call, they informed me that if I went anywhere else but their house, I would be cut off for good.
There were threats of pulling me off of their insurance, and as I have to take daily prescribed medication covered by that insurance, I cannot afford to be off of it until I have a job that also offers insurance. My father has always had severe anger issues, but being trapped in the house with him has been a true nightmare. He will not leave me alone. He is constantly insulting me and staring at me.
All the time. Today, things hit a new low. He was stressed about work and started yelling my name (loudly) while I tried to read a book. He then came and found me and was standing in the doorway. Finally, I put my book down and asked him what he wanted. He flew into a rage and started repeating that he was my "daddy" and needed to be called such.
Yelling in my face that he was my "daddy" and that I, a 22-year-old woman who NEVER called him daddy, even as a child, had to call him that from now on. He wouldn't leave, not when I asked him why he was doing this, or what he wanted. He just kept yelling, "CALL ME DADDY!" and to my everlasting shame I did. I called him daddy, and he left me alone.
7. Run White Boy, Run
A girl I had been on a few dates with had invited me back to her place. Score, right? Well, when we got there, I realized she had failed to mention one huge thing: her entire family lived there. I was introduced to her mother, father, and siblings at midnight when we got back to her place. The thing is, it got so much worse than this.
She told them, "We're going to my room to sleep together" and her dad said, "You brought protection, right man?" I kind of nodded in a daze. So we went back there and did the deed. To be honest, she was actually amazing. Afterward, I got anxious thinking about having to do the "walk of shame" as I passed her family on the way out, so to avoid all of that, I tried to duck out at 3 am.
Her dad was still in the kitchen, eating tamales. He asked me to sit down and I was like, “Oh God,” but then he served me up a delicious tamale—and told me the whole truth. He said that his daughter liked to hurt men like me and that if I had any sense, I would keep the memory of the night close and never speak to her again.
I thought it was just her dad who didn't approve at first, but then her brother came in and said, "You need to run white boy, my sister is crazy." I nodded sagely but I didn't end up taking their advice. I really, really should have. The relationship lasted about a month and ended with my car windows being destroyed by her during the middle of the night.
8. Netflix And No Chill
My friend got tired of her Golden Child Stepsister mooching off her Netflix account after they had a petty argument over the phone. The sister called my friend screaming at her about what a witch she is. Talking about how she'll never amount to anything, and how she's just a waste of space—meanwhile, the sister is $60k in debt in student loans.
Oh, and she dropped out in her final year. My friend decided she'd had enough. She then also changed the password to her Hulu and Amazon Prime accounts too, cutting her spoiled sister off further. After her sister exploded, my friend simply texted her saying, "You could always pay for your own accounts." The sister’s response was so priceless.
"I don't have any more money you witch! Sephora was having a sale so I'm tapped out! Screw you!” My friend and I are still laughing about this as we binge-watch shows on her accounts.
9. Stealing Her Thunder
I recently found out that I am pregnant. I am overjoyed as I have always wanted a child of my own. I focused on my career in my life and since I am single, I wasn’t sure if having a baby would ever happen. I was excited to tell my family the big news. My older sister has one child, my nephew who is seven. My brother is married but he and his wife have made it very clear they will always be child-free.
Last night we had a family dinner and I thought this would be the perfect opportunity to share the news. Since this will be my only child I wanted to make it special and I also wanted to involve my nephew. I got a shirt that read “this is what an awesome big cousin looks like”. I slipped away with my nephew before dinner and had a special moment with him while I told him he was going to have a cousin.
My nephew was very excited and put on the shirt. He put his sweater on over it and I told him he could take the sweater off whenever he wanted at dinner. In the middle of dinner, he took off the sweater and waited for someone to notice. Soon my sister jumped up and excitedly screamed when she saw the shirt. But here’s where it all started to go wrong.
They all then immediately assumed it was my sister-in-law. I wasn’t hurt by them assuming this and I kind of expected it because she is married. I was hurt because my sister-in-law didn’t try to correct them. She just went along with it and began to rub her flat belly while laughing. I must have looked completely hurt because my mother yelled at me to stop being rude and to congratulate them.
I tried to explain that I was the one who gave my nephew the shirt. They all didn’t even hear me and just continued to fawn over my sister-in-law. My brother stood frozen in shock just asking his wife if she was serious. I got up and went home. I received multiple texts at this point from them telling me what a jerk I am for making this all about me.
They said things like it wasn’t my sister-in-law’s fault that I was jealous. I didn’t reply to anything and just cried myself to sleep. This morning my sister-in-law must have finally let it slip that she is not pregnant. They have now all called me to apologize saying that they just got caught up in the moment. But they had to add in a cruel little twist.
They said I shouldn’t have left the dinner and that it’s my fault I wasn’t clear enough that I was the one who is pregnant. My mom said I could have a redo dinner so I can get it right and they will all act surprised. My sister-in-law sent me a message that said that the way I chose to announce was how she wanted to do it if she ever got pregnant.
She said that since she is not ever having a child, she just wanted to experience what the moment would be like. She also said I can have my chance at the redo dinner. I told them no and that I will not be doing a redo. Every single person has now told me I am being selfish and a jerk because I won’t let them make it right. To me, there’s no fixing this.
I will eventually forgive them but I don’t want to do a second announcement so they feel better.
10. Grandfathered In
So my fiancée and I have been together for about three years total and engaged for almost a year. We are planning to get married after the baby arrives. She's seven months pregnant and we are having a boy. Here's where the drama starts. My grandfather passed in a heroic but devastating way when I was young. Since then, I have always wanted to name my first son after him.
He was my mom's dad, and she wanted this even more than me. She has always, always stressed to me how important and meaningful this would be, but I've always wanted to do this as well. My grandfather didn't have the stereotypical old-man name but actually had a name that is still common today. His name is also actually my fiancée’s dad's name.
My fiancée never spoke about her dad other than telling me when we first started dating that she does not have a relationship with him and wants to leave it at that. She also told me a shortened name of his name which sounds similar but is different to my grandfather's. But anyway, I never pressed her about it. I didn't connect this at the time, but she never addressed my grandfather by name.
She just called him my grandfather. However, I thought this was normal because she's never met him and that's what I call him. I can't forget her reply when I told her what I wanted to name our son. She said no. I couldn't believe she said no so flat-out like that. I kept trying to convince her, letting her know how important and meaningful this was to me and the name is still common today.
It's not like I wanted to name him an ugly or outdated name. I found her crying a couple times though and she eventually broke down and told me that that was her father's name too and her father seriously mistreated her from the ages of 12-18, when she left for college. I felt horrible and of course, told her we won't call our son that. I love the name and I love my grandfather.
I miss him terribly and would love to honor him in this way, but I love my fiancée more than anything and I don't want her to spend the rest of her life having that name in regular use. I also don't want it to feel like to her or anyone else that we named our son after her father. Selfishly, it really sucks that we won't be naming our son this name.
But I am trying to come to terms with that. But that's not the problem really—my family’s reaction was 100 times worse. My parents and especially my mom and extended family on mom's side as well as my siblings have been doing everything imaginable to try to convince us to call our son this name. My fiancée ended up actually telling my mom what happened and why we won't use this name.
This was hard for her to do because other than her own mom and therapist, she had never told anyone else about what happened. My mom acted sympathetic and understanding but ended up telling everyone else in our family what happened. Now everyone is contacting us to offer "support" and console my fiancée but also to tell her about how wonderful my grandfather was.
They keep saying how the name would be after him and not her father and what a great name it is. I put my foot down (or so I thought) and told everyone that enough was enough and they had to stop contacting us. We blocked a lot of people on Facebook and a lot of phone numbers. This was a few months ago though, and now that the baby will be here in just two months, it’s gotten so much worse.
People have actually started referring to our son with the name. My mom made a post with a lot of photos of baby gifts and equipment and talked about how she was soooo excited to meet her grandson "______" who will be named after her father. My dad shared the post as well as most of her family. My siblings made their own posts about how they’re excited to meet their nephew, calling him by that name.
100% they are trying to name him that so that when he's born, everyone will already think that's his name and we'll think we might as well just name him that officially. I have spoken to my parents and my mom privately so many times. I also gave her an earful when she blabbed my fiancée’s secret. But it doesn't seem like anything is working.
My fiancée is distressed and cries almost every day, and every time she goes on social media. We did change her phone number though so that my family would no longer be able to text her. I'm just not sure what to do from here.
11. Time To Cut The Cord
My sister is a freshman in college, and her roommate's mother is absolutely psychotic. They're both on the cross country team and very good students. My sister said the roommate never drinks or goes out, but her mom tracks her through phone GPS and will text her constantly asking why she's at such and such a place anyway.
My sister said one time they were at Wal-Mart getting groceries, and her mom called her to ask why she was at Wal-Mart at 9 pm. Another time, they drove to my other sister's (she lives in the same town) apartment to pick something up and the girl's mom called and starts yelling and asking why she's been sitting in a parking lot for 20 minutes.
My sister said she'll constantly have to send pictures of them at the library to her to prove they're actually studying. I just don't get that kind of smothering of your kid. I mean, if you want to check up on what they're doing, then fine, especially if you're paying the bills. But dang, the poor girl can't even have a normal college experience and is constantly worried about upsetting her mom.
It just all seems so unhealthy to me. I mean, I had friends' parents who did that in high school, but once they're adults in college, you really have to cut the cord.
12. Bigger And Better
This post is about my cousin's ex-girlfriend. Back in 2003 (if my memory serves me right), my cousin began dating a woman who was smarter, nicer, and way more successful than he was. As the outsider looking in, I never quite understood why she chose to be with him. More than that, my aunt and uncle (my cousin's parents) never treated her with the respect that she deserved.
In fact, they despised her for being able to outshine their precious prince in every way possible. My cousin's chauvinism too would rear its ugly head and he would pick fights with her over the dumbest things. One such fight that my dad and I witnessed was him telling her not to accept a job offer that would pay her double what he was making at the time.
About a month after that, my dad received a call from her tearfully telling him that my cousin had left her for another girl. And what’s more, he did it over the phone. She said she knew who the other girl was and that she was probably with my cousin when he broke up with her, as she could hear her voice. They had been together for two years at this point.
This sad excuse for a human being didn't even have the decency to break up with her in person. My family’s reaction was despicable. As expected, my aunt and uncle defended their son. According to them, it was obviously his girlfriend's fault for "not knowing her place". My cousin's new girlfriend couldn't hold a candle to his ex in terms of talent and accomplishments.
But she did stroke his ego and didn't threaten his super-fragile masculinity, so he ended up marrying and having a kid with her. Fast forward to now, my cousin was laid off from his last job. The circumstances of his dismissal are not known to me. But there is one juicy truth. What I have found out is that, at his new job, his boss's boss...is the woman he had betrayed and humiliated years ago.
I can only imagine what this is doing to the jerk within my cousin and I cannot help but smile when I think about it. I learned all this from my dad. My dad is still in touch with one of the former girlfriend’s uncles and we decided to get her number and get in touch with her. Yesterday, my dad and I face-timed with her for nearly an hour.
She asked me about my life and I told her all about my job, my boyfriend, etc. She said she was happy for me. She told us she had been happily married for eight years now and had two daughters. She looked confident and radiant. I jokingly asked her how she planned to punish my cousin. She laughed and said she would probably thank him for breaking up with her and making her realize that he just wasn't right for her.
Her smile was that of someone who has completely healed. Someone who can say "thank you for doing what you did to me, my life is better because of it". The sense of pride and vindication I felt was almost overwhelming. She had won and she bloody well knew it!
13. To The Left To The Left
I'm super pregnant. I'm in my last trimester now and we waited until I was 22 weeks to tell my family due to complications. We're fine, but we've been spending all this time building our nursery and being excited to be parents. My husband worked on the nursery himself, without my overbearing family or his knowing about it. He is a very proud dad and it's helped him bond immensely with our baby, who isn't even here yet.
My family, full of awful people, is split in two. My dad's family isn't involved in this story—I'm fighting them on another front, but they took the news of the completed nursery very well. My mother's family, specifically my aunt and cousin, didn't take it well, but they were relieved I only wanted books from them for the baby's library. My cousin has been in competition with me since she was a child.
I don't know why, she’s the golden child and got everything she always wanted. I ignored her my whole life and never competed, which I think made it worse. She has repeatedly told our grandparents and her mom that I'm a thief. She claims I've always taken her things, called her rude names, and she always manages to get everyone worked up about it.
It's always been disproven, her things are always found, but the family always buys it. It hurt so much the last time that I refused to be around my cousin without a second witness to our interactions. Thanks to that, there was no drama for three years because my husband was always with me. After hearing I'd gotten married (we eloped in a ceremony abroad), had a destination honeymoon, and was now having a baby, she wasn’t happy. I think that’s when she snapped. I'm now having the first great-grandchild for both families, which is a big deal for my cultural background. She tried after our announcement to "take over" my baby shower.
However, I told the family I wasn't having one because we already got everything we needed. I have tons of clothes, furniture, etc. So I asked for books instead. Dinner went great with the whole side of the family being excited. However, I knew something was coming my way from my cousin because I'd refused her "generous offer" about the baby shower, thus not giving her any attention.
She texts me several days later (she shouldn't have had my number in hindsight) and told me she'd be coming by my house to drop off "gifts" for my baby. I told her no thanks, we weren't taking gifts. She tells me she's coming by at this time and I told her I'd be out. I also said that even if I was home I'm not taking them, and I'm not having any discussions with her about my pregnancy or baby. You can guess what happened next.
She showed up anyway. She was apparently banging and screaming at my door (I have video footage from my Waze camera) so much that my neighbor called the authorities. They showed up and surprise! She has a warrant for unpaid traffic citations and was driving under a suspended license. So she gets locked up. Between my appointment and an emergency visit to the hospital (bloodwork issues, we wanted to confirm baby was okay), she'd managed to tell my family a different story.
I'd apparently opened the door, called her horrible names and called her gifts cheap, kicked her when she tried to take them back, and then slammed the door in her face with the gifts. I then apparently called the authorities, told them she had a warrant, and lied telling them she'd physically gone for me. She then went to lockup and was treated horribly.
I thought for sure my family had to know she was full of it—I was in the hospital for my baby. I was shocked at their reaction. They believed her. They came at me with texts, calls, voicemails, and all of it nasty. They didn't believe me at all. My mother and bio-grandmother did, however, and tried to set the family straight. I decided I was done.
I'm not defending myself, why should I? I sent out a message to everyone that if they were going to believe my cousin, they were no longer allowed near my family. I would disown them all. I had proof she was lying. They didn’t believe me and kept up the nastiness. I blocked them all. Three weeks later, the church ladies at my work told me that the whole family was talking ugly about me to the whole (small) town.
I then showed them the texts and video since they were so shocked about what my family was saying. Once they saw the video and my pictures from the hospital (I made a video for myself of me watching my baby’s heart rate and the clock, so it kind of proves where I was) they were horrified. They stopped bothering me about it then and it got quiet.
A week ago, my cousin’s story truly fell apart when my grandfather and uncle ran into the officer who detained her. The church ladies and the officer backed my story up, and my cousin crumbled when she was confronted. The family is horrified, and my aunt and cousin are on the outs. They found out she also had substances in her car, so she's lost her golden child status.
My whole family has been trying to come by my house, only to discover my neighborhood has a new key-code gate. My mother called me today to ask what she should do, as my grandfather came by her house sobbing about the whole thing. I told her it wasn't my issue and I was sorry for her being caught up in it, but I'm not budging. I disowned them. And I went one step further.
I removed my family name from my hyphenated last name and just took my husband's. I deleted my Facebook. I changed my number. We are listed privately. I won, as sad as it is, because they're now facing the consequences of their actions. And I'm sad. I want my family, but they need to stay away. I can never give them another chance. What if they hurt me or, Gods forbid, my child next time with their behavior?
I'm at a loss. My mother says they want to send a letter. But do I even read it? My mother has effectively told the entire family I want to be left alone, she will not be passing any messages on to me from this point further, and that any more contact would involve our attorney. It got very quiet today and I'm quite relieved about it. I had my husband block everyone's number.
I also sent my lovely church ladies (who bring me food and visit sometimes) a message detailing that I was too stressed to hear about my ex-family anymore. I asked that we drop that uncomfortable subject when they visit and they were happy to oblige. We had a small visit today and all we talked about was my nursery for the baby. Going forward I've decided to stick by my no-contact rule.
I am not giving these people any more real estate in my mind.
14. What Goes Around Comes Around
I'm Indian and in my country, until a few years ago, you could get steel utensils from door-to-door vendors in exchange for clothes. This barter system still exists in villages and some small towns. My grandmother, being the insane hoarder that she was, loved getting utensils in this manner. Utensils that no one else was allowed to touch, that she would never use and would only gather dust in her room.
Any time my stepmom or my dad tried to donate our old clothes to charity, she would throw a hissy fit. She'd collect all the clothes we weren't going to wear anymore so she could exchange them for pots and pans. At times she would take it a step further and demand clothes that we were still going to wear. She would insist that they don't fit us anymore, or some other argument to get us to hand them over.
Seriously, we had to sometimes fight her to keep our clothes. Oh but she never, I mean NEVER, gave away her own clothes. She only took garments from others, namely me, my dad, my stepmom, and my stepbrother. When I was around 21, I had just lost a lot of weight and needed new clothes. Yes, I lived with my parents. In India, you can't afford to live independently unless you have a well-paying job and I was in college at that time.
So one day I went to a local store's clearance sale and bought a bunch of new threads. I left them on my bed and went off to a friend's place. When I returned a few hours later, my new clothes were gone! My dad, stepmom, and brother weren't home, so I figured out instantly who must've taken them. I confronted the Grandmonster and asked what she'd done with my clothes.
She was sitting on her bed admiring her latest haul of pots and pans. Without even looking up, she told me my clothes were ugly and "too westernized". And that she did the right thing by exchanging them for "something useful". At that point, I lost it. I yelled, cursed at her, called her every name in the book. And she had the audacity to actually defend her actions.
That evening, there was a major showdown in our home. I was still livid and asked my dad exactly how long we were going to put up with her. My stepmother and I don't get along, but when one of us was up against Grandmonster, the other always lent her support. This was no different, and my stepmother agreed with me wholeheartedly.
My dad told Grandmonster that she was now forbidden from entering my room without my prior permission. She started to fake cry and said we were all being so cruel to her. My dad later came to my room and said he would make it up to me and buy me new clothes. I, of course, was still livid. And I wasn't about to let that witch have this victory. So I got my revenge.
My grandmother needed sleeping pills to fall asleep. She took them even during the day. So a few days later, I snuck into her room during her afternoon nap. I opened her "utensils trunk" (yes, she had a whole trunk full of them) and took out a whole bunch of her beloved pots, glasses, plates etc. I shut the lid quietly and exited. I went straight to an old-age shelter that was nearby.
I donated the utensils and earned the joy of giving and the taste of sweet, sweet revenge. I didn't tell anyone what I had done and just waited for Grandmonster to discover her loss. Which she did, just a few days later. It happened in the evening. I was in the kitchen cooking dinner when I heard her ear-piercing wailings about how someone had pilfered from her utensils chest.
A satisfied smile spread across my face. My dad called me into Grandmonster's room and asked if I knew anything about the missing utensils. I admitted that I had taken and donated them. Grandmonster looked like her head would explode. I calmly told her I had done the right thing because those utensils were "ugly" and that the shelter needed them more.
And clearly, if she could come into my room and take my things without asking, I could jolly well do the same! I think my dad was upset with me but really had nothing to say to me. He spent the next hour or so trying to calm his mother down. I slept so well that night. When Grandmonster passed a few years later, the first of her belongings that we got rid of were those utensils.
15. Using It As A Crutch
I have misaligned hips, causing a lot of pain whenever I walk for a distance without the assistance of a wheelchair or cane. I usually only use the cane when I’m going to the mall with my friends since it is annoying to maneuver in the wheelchair, but I much prefer the chair since it allows for a pillow on my bad hip. This brings me to the disaster that was yesterday.
I’m going to my mom’s house this weekend. She called me to explain that my stepsister, who is about my age at 18, has torn her ACL and needs to use my wheelchair after her surgery. I don’t have any malice toward my step-siblings, but I’ve only met them a handful of times. The issue I have is that this weekend is the same day that a group of friends and I are going on a colonial tour around the city for my birthday.
When I asked if she could just ask the doctor for one or crutches for that matter, mom said it would come out of pocket since her insurance won’t cover it. I told her that my stepsister can have my cane, but I’m going to need my wheelchair since the tour was a whole day of walking. Mom got annoyed and started to sigh. I still can’t believe the “ultimatum” she gave me.
She said that I can use the cane, but the wheelchair was going to my stepsister. Or I could reschedule for another weekend—which would most likely mean never going as there aren’t any refunds nor enough money to pay for another ticket that I had to pay with my own money. I said the last part was fine (seeing as it was on my birthday weekend and not on the day) but she would have to pay for our tickets for us to go again.
She scoffed and said that it would cost more than buying a pair of crutches. I tried to explain that it would still be cheaper than buying a new wheelchair like mine. But she just kept shutting me down, saying that my stepsister will be getting the wheelchair for the weekend and for me to make do with the cane. The argument ended with “I’m not asking, I’m telling” and her hanging up on me without saying another word.
I admit that I was feeling a little bit spiteful after this. So I came up with a way to get her back. The other day I asked my friend if I could store my wheelchair in the back of her trunk for the trip. After all, I was planning on just going to her house after the trip even before she called. Me playing dumb is the best plan, I’m going to say I just forgot or something.
It didn’t help my mood that when I was looking up prices for crutches, the prices that she was looking at were for brand new ones rather than going on second-hand sites for ones a quarter of the price. When I tried to screenshot some of them and send them to her, she simply replayed the “we already have the wheelchair so it’s fine”. Yeah, MY wheelchair. And no, you don’t.
I feel like a jerk for planning on hiding my chair but this will be the first time in a few years that I’m actually celebrating my birthday and I don’t want to spend the whole time either in pain or resenting my stepsister for making me lose a lump sum of money I had to work overtime for. Either way, I’m going to be agitated because my mom won’t listen to any of my suggestions or see things from my point of view.
16. Animal Instincts
I had a pet kitten when I was roughly nine years old that we only had for a month. My parents got her from a pet store with bowls, food, etc. And one day I come home from school and she was gone. They said they got tired of buying stuff for her, and that she was smelly and so they gave it away. But here’s the worst part. I remember them buying her because I was lonely and wanted a friend.
Then it happened AGAIN. The second time, I was a bit older, I'll say 12-13ish. Well, they had a bunch of turtles and they gave those away after a year or so. They didn't even do much so I’ll never understand why my parents felt they were a burden. I was the one in charge of cleaning their water and feeding them. I’d let them roam the house and put them back afterward.
They were happy. And I liked decorating their containers to make them look "tropical". Again, one day I come home and they’re gone. The third time, we had a hamster. I was about 17? It was a gift given to my brother. But he didn’t really like it and as such ignored and neglected the poor thing. He didn’t even bother to name it so I did. I named it and went out and bought it food and a rolly ball thing he can get inside of to roam the house.
A week goes by and my parents notice me taking care of it. My mom tells me, "you know why he doesn’t want that thing right?" I say I don’t know and she goes "his ex-girlfriend gave him that thing. He probably gets sad every time he sees it too, because it reminds him of his ex-girlfriend". I tell her, "he saw me playing with it and said it's cool that I want it. He seems fine to me".
She just gave me this mad look and goes "we're getting rid of it because we don’t want him to be reminded of his ex for no reason". A few days later, the hamster was gone. It was a very affectionate little thing too and used to come to me when I called for it. My dad used to make fun when I called for it and to this day when he feels like being a total jerk he will mimic my voice and try "calling for the hamster".
The worst part of it all was that the only pets that lasted long (more than a few months) were my mom’s pets. She had this parrot for years and she made it loud and clear that the obnoxious loud bird was HER pet. She would buy it toys and perches on the walls for it. But she would also tell me I needed to clean the cage for her. So one day, it was summer and I opened her cage.
That idiot bird flew right out one of the open windows (my mom was cleaning the floors and airing things out). My mom ran outside then came back in and screamed her head off at me and demanded I buy her a new parrot immediately even though those things are $500+ and I was a broke college student taking out loans to make ends meet. But I had the perfect response.
I told her "I’ll buy you a parrot when you give me back my kitten, my turtles, and my hamster". She said I was crazy, whined some more, but she never brought up her parrot again after that.
17. The Picture Of Entitlement
My parents aren’t together. I haven’t seen my dad since a huge to-do occurred when I was 10, and I’m 18 now. That said, my mother stays in contact with him, because I have a severely disabled sister who often requires dual parental consent on forms. Her favorite method of contact is email, though they often call and she updates him on my sister.
Now, don’t be too harsh on my mother for this, but her password for her email is my sister’s birthday. So, it’s not too much of a stretch for the father of my sister to guess it. This is where it got creepy. My mother began to notice that whenever she received emails from her lawyer talking about decisions she made on my sister’s behalf (she has right of attorney), that my father would call the next day.
He would then suddenly go on a rant about the decision my mother just made. They’re things he’s actually against; he’s not just picking a fight. But strange how he always ends up choosing just the right time to rant about these things, huh? Anyway, recently, my family’s been going through some stuff. All my extended family are narcissists, alcoholics, criminals, etc.
So the ONLY support system we’ve ever really had has been my mother’s two best friends. For clarification, one is my godmother, the other is my honorary “aunt”. When I was little, my mother made me memorize both their numbers. She told me if anything happened to her, I was to call them right away, and they’d get me away from my dad before he even had a chance to fight for custody.
I lived with one of them during my rebellious teenage period. My mother didn’t understand mental illness—my aunt, who had a child with mental illness, was truly my savior at this time. The other one got us away from my father the instant she found out about his mistreatment. With a literal day’s notice, she flew out to our state, spent the day packing with us, then flew with my brother and I across the country.
We’d only booked tickets the night before, so my mother had to catch the next flight with my sister. They are our saving grace. So all this said, I always knew if something happened to my mom, I’d have them to fall back on; my mother told me that I’d go stay with my godmother, and my sister would go live with my aunt. Well, the worst has happened.
My mother’s sick. She’ll likely pass in the next year, or recover and live until 100. But my godmother and aunt are also sick too. They both have end-stage cancer and are terminal. My godmother is in her last six weeks. I’ve found all this out in just the past month, so it’s been a lot to deal with. As such, my mother had to update her will.
Power of attorney over my sister now goes to me, and everything is split equally between my brother and I—my brother is an addict and has responsibility issues. She took my dad out of it completely, knowing that if something does happen, I’ll need all the resources I can get—again, I’m only 18 years old, have an addict brother, zero support system to speak of, and a severely disabled sister.
Her lawyer sent the updated will through to her over email. It all came crashing down almost instantly. The next day, my father called her, madder than he’s been in years, or so my mother said. He spiraled into a rant, about how his “co-worker” has just been dragged through the mud by his ex-wife, who took him out of her will, and how evil is that?
Who could do that? He told her that the best thing she could ever do was give him 100% of her estate upon her passing. This man, who has done NOTHING for me, my sister, my brother, or my mother, thinks he should get EVERYTHING FROM HER?? I’m EIGHTEEN YEARS OLD. My sister is a mentally disabled, severely physically handicapped, brain damaged 22-year-old who needs 24-hour constant care.
My brother is an ADDICT who I don’t see for weeks on end. And he thinks he should get 100% of my mother’s estate (which is a plot of land and roughly $60,000 to both me and my brother) and leave me with my sister, no house over our heads, no food on the table? Screw off. I’m a teenage girl who’s enduring my world crumbling beneath my feet.
I have no idea what I’m going to do if something happens. I have no concept of how to even begin to deal with the task that’s been thrown at me. But at least with what my mother would leave me, I’d be able to learn. But he wants to leave us with nothing? Get screwed. Needless to say, my mother’s lawyer cut all communication through email.
He also told her to immediately make a new account. She doesn’t know how, so she gave me the phone and he told me what to do. She and I are now the only ones with the passwords, because I’d need to get records of everything in case of her passing.
18. Keep Your Friends Close And Your Enemies Closer
I remember when we stayed with my sister-in-law one time, and I bought two weeks’ worth of food with one paycheck of my fiancé’s. She told us, "The way you guys stock food like that is disgusting! You should only buy what you need"! I said "Hey, you never know what is going to happen. What if next week we can't afford food"? Her answer made me want to scream.
"NOOOOOOoOoOoOo! God says only buy what you need and don't be greedy"! Well, guess what? After one week in quarantine, she is now on Facebook ranting about having no toilet paper and worrying about the lack of food on shelves to buy. Hmm. Looks like me buying extra food and necessities every week isn't disgusting or nasty or a sin or immoral now, is it?
We're here in our apartment with a toilet paper stock we bought over the course of the past year, pounds of rice, seeds to grow our own food, pounds of beans, canned goods, and microwave meals. Suddenly me growing up poor and always keeping a small stock isn't gross? Hilarious. Good luck surviving on Walmart scraps.
You shouldn't have hated me for being bi; I would have shared our stock with you gladly. But I'm not family, remember?
19. Queen Of The Family
Well, there were a lot of reasons why I ultimately broke up with this guy named Tom, but his family was definitely one of them. The cast of characters included the mom, dad, brother, and sister. The mom was great—she was a total salt-of-the-earth type and a lovely lady. The rother was great too, though kind of distant from the rest of the family. I figured out why quickly.
His father was the biggest piece of trash I ever had the misfortune of meeting. He treated his wife like garbage for no reason. She was a lovely woman, well put-together, an excellent cook, and had a full-time job...yet, he just looked at her like she was gum stuck on the bottom of his shoe.
He hated Tom just as much; again, for reasons that I could never figure out. My boyfriend was a DOCTOR—so educated and successful—and because he was in medical school until his late 20s, he wasn't married. He concentrated on his education instead. However, to his father, something was "wrong" with his son because he wasn't married. He would hassle him about it all the time.
He’d tell him he was "a homo" (his words, not mine) and how he had "no life" and he needed "to get it together." Then there was Tom's sister, Julie, the queen of the family who could do no wrong. As far as the father was concerned, the sister walked on water. Everything was about her—piano lessons, pageants, private schools, etc.
She grew up being a spoiled little princess and also acted the part. For example, my brother and his wife were in a very serious car accident while on vacation. They were vacationing where Julie lived, which was a six-hour flight from where the rest of us did. They were hospitalized for their extensive injuries, and their luggage ended up at the rental lot where the car was towed after the accident.
This lot was about a 10-minute drive from Julie's house. We asked Julie to go pick up the luggage and made arrangements with the rental company so she could just go in and grab them quickly. My brother needed his extra glasses (his glasses were destroyed in the crash and he can't see without them) and my sister-in-law needed some stuff out of her luggage, too.
Julie said she'd do it "if she had time" but she was "really busy." It didn't matter that my brother and sister-and-law nearly PERISHED in a car crash. It was all about Julie and her busy, important life. Eventually, she did go pick up the luggage, but I later found out the disturbing truth. It was because her mom called and screamed at her basically for being a selfish witch.
She got the luggage, but not happily. It spoke to her character, and not in a good way. There were other issues that ultimately ended the relationship, but his family certainly didn't help matters.
20. Take It Easy
My mom is a helicopter mom. When my mom and brother came to visit me in the city I lived in at the time of this story, we went to a building that is a tourist attraction. She's already been there so she stayed down in some coffee shop while me and my brother went in to go to the top. There was a really big line and while we were waiting he was telling me about all the times she'd go crazy because I wouldn’t reply to her text for one day or so.
We were joking that considering how long the whole tour of the building was taking, she'd probably already be talking to the authorities. We had no idea what was actually happening.
When we got out, there she was, talking to an officer. Because you know, someone probably kidnapped two adults in a crowded building packed with security and tourists.
21. A Little Too Close For Comfort
My best friend left her husband after five years because of his mother. She was insane, but it was really the spineless husband who refused to stand up to his mom. This is the crazy stuff she did: She threw a tantrum because she didn’t like the wedding invitations. Like, she ripped up 50 invites and they had to order more.
She also told my friend that she looked pregnant in her wedding dress. Then, when the bride was walking down the aisle, she got up to change seats and blocked the groom’s view, only moving out of the way at the last minute when it was too late. Throughout the wedding, she was hanging all over her son and openly pouted when he wanted to dance with his own wife.
She took wine bottles after the wedding and bragged about it, even when she didn't pay for anything except the flowers. She interrupted their wedding night by banging on the door and telling them she wanted to spend more time with them…He then ACTUALLY left to go hang out with his mom on the night of the wedding, while the bride stayed in bed, mad.
She tried to move into their home right after they got married and that caused a fight. She ended up not moving in luckily, but she still had a spare key to their house for emergencies. She used the key to walk into their house unannounced whenever she wanted. Finally, she constantly accused my friend of cheating because she worked late.
There were a ton of other reasons that built up over the years and he always deflected. She finally had enough and left.
22. A Long Way Down
It was my ex-husband and ex-mother-in-law who were the main problems. He allowed himself to get sucked in by her and excused her for the dozen major offenses she committed that resulted in our divorce. I was so distraught by her that I even straight-up told her, “When we have kids, you will not be in their lives,” just to get her to understand how serious her bad behavior was.
She purchased him a plane ticket home when I really needed his support most—that was the catalyst for the divorce and the final straw. No one told me or discussed it with me. I found out when my aunt asked me if I was taking my husband to the airport that weekend...She showed me the message where, aside from the whole ticket thing, his mother told my aunt to “control me.”
I cried on my way to work and told my boss I needed a short shift so I could drop off my husband, who was basically leaving me. He offered me the day off, but work was a needed distraction. Besides that, my mother-in-law took the car keys when I visited once and left me no car to drive for that weekend. Controlling much?
She once told me that the only reason my ex-husband was interested in me was that I had a big chest. I heard her. At the time, I was young and had given her no real reason to dislike me. It was hurtful. I cried. My husband held me, and back then before we went downhill, he marched upstairs and demanded that she apologize to me.
When he left on that plane ride, I told him I would be serving him divorce papers. Everyone freaked out and she sent me a big, dumb Facebook message making excuses. I sent her one back firmly, but not rudely, addressing all her points. I told her he was now her problem, just like she always wanted. Months later, she replied and apologized while taking some responsibility.
I only know that because I read it two years later when I knew I wouldn’t be as angry. Besides that, my former sister-in-law bailed on my wedding the DAY BEFORE without telling me and that started a whole other issue. Her girls were meant to be my flower girls, so it felt like a slap in the face.
She wouldn’t talk to me for a couple of years, even to ask for recipes. It was petty. Oddly enough, we are on good terms now and I think we could still be friends. She tells me the lies he tells his mom to make me look bad. He really spiraled, and I still hope he can get it together at some point in his life.
Today, most of them think I’m sleeping around the entire city. I have a stable job, I fly planes, I have amazing friends and a new loving relationship. I travel, climb mountains, and have generally built the life we were supposed to have on my own. On the other hand, he fell into depression, his mother pays his rent, and apparently, they get into fights because she won't pay for him to move across the country.
23. What’s In A Name?
My wife is seven months pregnant, and my brother's girlfriend is four months. The other day I made a joke about "claiming" a baby name. It was just a reference to a game my brother and I played as kids, where we pointed at random stuff and said "I claim it" and the objective was to build the coolest inventory. The girlfriend knew about the game and got upset because my joke had accidentally "claimed" her father's name.
We assured her it was a joke and we wouldn't be using the name, but she was really upset. This wasn't the hill to go out on so I went and apologized to the girlfriend's standards—a full-on apology where I said that I messed up, promised not to make the joke again, and said I wouldn't make references she didn't get after this. But then it got completely deranged.
She then said, for her own peace of mind, that she needed to see our list of baby name ideas to prove that we weren't choosing her father's name. I thought that was already a bit much, but my wife pretty much said "look, the worst is over, at this stage what's the harm of just showing her the list?" I agreed so we texted my brother the list of potential baby names.
We had two options for first names, and our chosen middle name, which was a family name from my wife's family that both her brother and grandfather have. He then calls me and says that "she thinks the middle name is too close to her father's. She says is there anything else you can use?" I explain the significance of the name to both of them over the phone and it's what we're using.
They say that it's too close and we need to pick another name. I then, sarcastically, say "and do we have your approval for our first names?" to which the girlfriend responds "well, actually..." and goes on to tell me that they really like one of our two choices (the one we were leaning more towards) and ask if we can use our other option so they can have the one they like.
It's a gender-neutral name and not only do they not know the gender of the child she's currently carrying but they plan to have more children. I love my brother, I really do, but this is ridiculous. I have to put my foot down, I know, but we're really close and I don't want to completely screw up our relationship by ticking off his pregnant girlfriend. But, man.
24. Boy, Bye
My husband is a misogynist and I am done shoving his behavior under the rug. A few weeks ago, he kept making comments about my weight. Well last night, I snapped. He wanted to talk politics. He only ever wants to talk about politics when he wants to fight with me. He out of NOWHERE looks at me and says, “Women aren’t elected into positions of power because they can’t make the tough decisions. Pre-menopausal women are too moody. And women all together as a whole just aren’t as intelligent as men.”
I scoffed and said, “That’s such a cop-out to stop women from being in positions of power. Men are just as hormonal and moody as women. You DO know that women mature faster mentally than men do, right? And that women have an easier time identifying and correcting their negative emotions?” Him: “Well, I’m a numbers guy. I like to look at the facts. Unlike you who just spouts off garbage she knows absolutely nothing about and demands that she is right. I’m going to look up some FACTS for you right now”.
Me: “Great. I want to hear articles written by actual doctors.” Him: “Don’t talk to me like I’m stupid. I actually get my news from reputable sources.” He then spent TEN MINUTES trying to find a scientific article that supported his opinion. When he found one that he thought supported his opinion he very loudly started quoting it. Then came the best part.
He then immediately started trailing off when it started disproving his thoughts. Me: “So, what you’re really trying to say is that the ‘garbage’ I was spouting was actually fact. I know it was fact because I studied psychology in college. So, AGAIN. Saying women are too hormonal to be in positions of power is an excuse that men made in order to keep us oppressed.”
Him: “You’re literally so stupid.” Me: “Keep deflecting because you know you’re losing the argument.” I got up and grabbed my college textbooks and notes that I have stored on a bookshelf. I set them next to him. Me: “Two things. Don’t spout off garbage that you know nothing about and demand that you are right without looking at the facts. AND don’t be a hypocrite. It’s unbecoming and makes you look stupid when you are trying to prove a point.”
Him: “What’s all of this?” Me: “My textbooks and notes from college. Read them thoroughly, particularly the notes so that the next time you want to come after me about a topic that I am clearly more educated about, you’ll know how to properly base your argument. So much for men being more intelligent than women. This is why I’m a feminist. This is why I’m leaving you.”
I walked out of the room and went to bed. I had never slept so well in my life. I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
25. It’s My Party, I’ll Be A Jerk If I Want To
My dad and I are currently on our way to a big Mexican birthday party and he likes to talk about ol' back-in-the-day stories. Now I've heard each of these a few times over but got a new one I never heard about. I wasn't born yet in this story and my older brother was only a few years old. My dad was freshly dating my mom. My mom and brother were living at my grandma's house, my dad’s mother-in-law.
My mom called my dad crying because the mother-in-law was taking over my brother’s milestone birthday party. Nothing was how my mom wanted it: Decorations, food, and worst, who was invited. Specifically, awful family members planned to show up who hadn't spoken a kind word to my mom since she became a "sinful" single mother with no husband.
My mom tried pleading to her mother not to let these horrible people crash her party and was given the title line. The answer was vicious. "You can't tell me who I can't invite to my own house. These are my family members. They are always welcome in my house". So my mom called my dad crying, dreading this party and knowing she's going to be insulted in front of her own son.
My mom kept trying to think of ways to stop these people from showing up but my dad shut that down. His words mirrored his mother-in-law—that's her house and you have to follow her rules. But then my dad followed this with, "Do you want me to fix this?" And my mom agreed. So my dad made a bunch of calls and organized a pizza party in less than 12 hours.
All of his cousins brought their kids, many my brother's age. It was a big, fun thing. My parents never told my grandma about the change of plans. She threw her party her way with her guest list and no birthday boy. My mom and brother came home late in the evening and the decorations were still up. My grandma was so angry and demanded to know where she had been.
My mom said her new boyfriend stressed the importance of respecting her mother's rules so they simply took the party elsewhere. To this day my dad still stresses the importance of respect and rules. He never argues or tells someone they are doing things wrong. But if he sees something he doesn't like he either never shows up, or leaves early and distances himself from the nonsense.
26. Mommie Dearest
I think I am at a breaking point with my mother. 10 weeks ago, my husband and I had a baby. She is the first grandchild on both sides of the family. My in-laws live down the street and are so helpful and wonderful. They see our daughter a lot but also respect boundaries. They are wonderful and I would be lost without them. My mother is single and lives alone in another state three hours away.
She came up when my daughter was born and stayed for a week at our house while the baby was in the NICU. Aside from being unhelpful and leaving our house a mess, during this time she made several comments about my postpartum physical appearance, including that my long hair "made her nauseous". I wanted to scream. I said she had no right to comment on my physical appearance, especially after just delivering a baby, and left the room.
She also was fixated on me sending proper thank you notes for all of the baby gifts we had received and dragged me to a stationary store the day after I came home from the hospital to pick out proper stationery. Mind you, I was still in a lot of pain and it hurt to walk, but...heaven forbid her friends would think I was rude if I didn't send the notes out ASAP.
On her second trip back, our daughter was three weeks old. Again, she made a comment about my hair, stating that it reminded her of the movie Gray Gardens (but they wear kerchiefs? I digress). Again I reminded her that she has no right to comment on my physical appearance. I even reminded her that her mother did this to her when she was growing up, and she hated it, and now she is doing the same to me.
I never quite got an "I'm sorry" from my mother but she acknowledged it hurt me. While she's been home, she repeatedly demands multiple videos and pictures of my daughter, several times a day, so she can send mass texts to our entire family. When I don't send them quickly enough, or when she doesn't like the ones I send (spoiler alert: all the time), she guilt trips me.
She starts saying things like "how dare you do this to your grandmother, the baby is all she is living for!" and "[The in-laws] are so close, and I feel like I'm so far away! I miss her soooo much!" A few weeks ago my mother booked her third trip to visit. A few days ago, I get a text saying, "While I am here, I will be happy to watch the baby while you get your hair/nails done and clean yourself up".
I responded, "I know you mean well and have good intentions, but do you realize this is the third time you've made a comment on my physical appearance?" Reader, she LOST HER MIND. I reminded her of the past two incidents, and she said I'm being "too sensitive" and "that was a long time ago,” and she feels like she's "walking on eggshells around me".
I said that I knew she meant well but it hurt my feelings and to please refrain from commenting on my physical appearance. Her response? OK, I'M NOT COMING. Yesterday she officially canceled her flight. Honestly, mom? GOOD. We don't want you to come. But at the same time, she can't 1) not come to see her granddaughter, and then 2) complain how she's so left out and misses her. YOU CAN'T HAVE IT BOTH WAYS.
Meanwhile, my in-laws are so wonderful and helpful, I am just embarrassed that my husband has to put up with my mom's behavior. I'm dealing with a new baby and I'm exhausted, and on top of this, I have to deal with my mother acting like a child? I just can't. She won't go to therapy and I think I'm just grieving at the fact that this relationship won't get any better, especially as my daughter gets older.
27. Ulterior Motives
My father cheated on my mom when I was four and went on to marry his mistress. Now, this is not even about that but about the fact that my father not only divorced my mom but also divorced ME. To give you a bit of background, he avoided me for most of my childhood and teens. My parents had shared custody of me but he would only ask to see me once a month.
Twice if I begged and called a lot to see him. He refused to pay child support and when he would, it would be 6+ months late and would be much less than what was agreed on. According to him, my mom was rich and my grandfather was fully capable of supporting me. Except as far as I know he is the one who helped create me...not my grandfather.
He moved out of the country (which is one of the most dangerous countries in the world) when I was 17 under the excuse of a two-week vacation and never came back. He took his wife and two kids and left me. When I found out I was too hurt to say anything but my mom confronted him. His words back cut me to the bone. His only response was “I have to take care of my family”.
His wife doesn’t like me, of course, and there are no pictures of me at their house. My mother remarried and I have a WONDERFUL stepfather who raised me better than my father ever could. He paid for my education and everything I ever needed. Later on, I moved out of my country with my father’s visa. My stepdad offered him money to allow me to come to school under his visa and he took it.
I saw my father maybe four times in the last five years (awkward, forced trips). It was maybe for a day each time, and each time he wanted a family picture to post on social media and act like a doting father. He has never helped me with school, never helped me move, and never came when I was sick or heartbroken or sad. I was in the same country as him all on my own, and he was the only family I had there.
Fast forward to the last two years. I met an amazing man who happens to be a citizen of the country I’m in. We were together for a year and a half and my dad met him once. It was at my graduation that he asked to be a part of, and I reluctantly invited him. However, as usual, he only came to take a picture to post on Facebook.
There was no dinner, no present, nothing. He spoke for maybe a minute to my then-boyfriend about baseball and that was it. Today I’ve been married to that same man for six months. My father didn’t bring us a card or a present. Fine, whatever. But there’s just one thing. Now my father and stepmom want to see us...a lot. And well, I think I know why.
Now, my father is in this country on a visa, which means eventually he has to leave. His children are citizens but much too young to do anything for him for at least another decade, when they become of age and can sponsor their parents. His family and my husband’s met for dinner and he took the bill for ALL 10 OF US. This was very shocking since my father is incredibly cheap.
I had already told my husband’s family to split the check since I knew my father would pay only for himself even if the event was his idea. Then before we left he jokingly told me I have to facilitate his way to citizenship since I’ll be married and a citizen myself soon...so there’s that. A month later, he invited me and my husband to a fancy hotel to spend New Year’s Eve.
He paid for absolutely everything for two days. The whole time my husband and I were just confused at all this attention we were getting...which brings me to this week. He has been calling weekly since early January to have my husband and I spend the weekend at their house (they live three hours away) this month. To be honest we are not buying it.
I always (stupidly) give him chances and he always disappoints me. My mother-in-law told me maybe he finally wants a relationship with me but the timing is SO OFF! Why did no one call when I was all alone in this country? Why now? My husband really dislikes him (he knows all he has put me through) and has already told me he won’t allow me to help him with citizenship.
He says he doesn’t deserve it and didn’t offer me help when I was in that situation, and he is right. I don’t want to help them, it would be a huge insult to my mother who in her own imperfect way took care of me all on her own. But I also feel bad for turning my back on him because it’s just not who I am. But I will not help him.
Karma took a while but it’s finally happening. I can’t wait to tell him “I have to take care of my family” once the time comes and he asks for my aid.
28. Computer Dreams Crashed
I've been working on getting a laptop for a year. I’ve been saving money, researching what I want, etc. And my cousins (bless them) just gave me a belated birthday gift—a big ol' sum of cash. I can finally afford what I want after a year of tirelessly working for it! Now, my little sister is a very busy person. She has school, a job, and soccer.
Her schedule is set weeks in advance, so if I want to go get a laptop, I have to pick a day she's doing nothing. Which is like, I don’t know, once a month? Because if she has plans, my parents are driving her around and I need to find a different ride. So I set up a day for me and my dad to go laptop shopping, which is the only day this month my sister isn't busy!
And my dad kept his schedule clear for me too! Today is the day, and we were maybe an hour away from being ready to go, when my little sister called. She wants to go to a party. It's an hour's drive. She wants dad to drive her. This completely disrupts our plans, and now I'm sitting at home while he drives her to a party she decided on a whim she wanted to go to.
Surprise surprise...No matter what happens, no matter what I want to do, no matter how much I plan around her, she is always the priority. My options now are, I guess, wait until next month or find someone else to take me.
29. Full Of Hot Air
I've always known my mom lies, has tantrums, and I knew about her Borderline Personality Disorder diagnosis years ago. But she fudged up a lie recently, and so I started asking questions. That’s when her web of lies unraveled. The first major lie I caught her in was her accusation that my grandfather, her father, mistreated her. Turns out, never happened.
He just made her angry one day. Today I learned something that has my mind and body numb. When I was around 3, I had a brother. I broke a bowl and my stepdad (total psycho) lost his mind, and my mom and him got in a fight. Because of it, my brother passed from shaken baby syndrome. Or at least, this is what I've been told my entire life.
I remember my brother. I remember breaking the bowl. I remember them fighting and me hiding under my bed during it. Only thing is, that wasn’t my brother. And the baby didn’t die. The truth is mind-blowing. The truth I found out today is that my mother had told me that our neighbor’s kid was my brother since the day that he was born.
She babysat for them daily so it makes sense why I have so many memories of him. I was told daily "hug your brother, kiss your brother, your brother is napping, brother is eating". So little child me assumed she told the truth, and it was my brother. Turned out I broke a bowl, and then she and my stepdad started fighting. The child's real mom showed up to pick him up.
She heard the fight and said they'd never watch the baby again. Like any good mom would. My mother decided to tell me my brother was dead. My aunt said after my mother had a miscarriage she lost her mind, but no one knows if she actually had a miscarriage because her story on that changed a lot too. All this came to light because I said pregnancy while taking care of toddlers is rough and my mom said she did it for five months.
I said what...only five months? Pregnancy is 40 weeks, and she had never mentioned any child being premature. Back then babies born at five months didn’t make it like they sometimes, very rarely, do now. So I called my aunt for the truth. Apparently, everyone hid it from me because they're afraid of my mom. For good reason. She is a great liar and prone to violent outbursts, and if she sees you as "her enemy" she is capable of anything.
30. Burning Bridges
We are officially done with my husband's family. It is over. So, I watch my sister-in-law’s one-year-old child for basically nothing every day. I run a business full-time from home. I have a two-year-old daughter as well. They regularly don't pick their daughter up on time. I have to take her to the doctor when she's sick. It's just a mess.
They have had CPS called on them for drinking problems, unsupervised children, etc. My husband's whole family lives in the same house. His family is just...narcissistic? Anyway, I was informed this morning that one of my clients wants to do a video call tomorrow or Tuesday to talk about our upcoming project. I inform my sister-in-law that I will not be able to watch her child one of those days, but she is free to choose which one and the time.
She flips out and tells me she can't take the day off of work, has no one to watch her, etc. I tell her she will have to figure it out; I have to take this call to pay for my daughter's upcoming surgery (it's minor, but it costs $2,000). Well, approximately five minutes later my father-in-law calls my husband, yelling. My husband works for my business too, so he was home.
He complains that we didn't give them enough notice. My husband informs him that we just found out this morning and that this client is quite major. The family's group text starts blowing up with family members yelling at me. So I did it. I told them I wasn't going to raise their child anymore. Calling my husband and yelling while he is at work is unacceptable behavior. That's when things really took off.
My mother-in-law tells me she is so disappointed in all of this. I informed her that I was quite disappointed in her favoritism. She pays for all her other children's stuff, but has never given us a cent; she regularly misses my husband's events; etc. Apparently, she blames me for everything because I spend too much time with my family (???).
I tell her that I make a concerted effort to spend equal time with both families even though she works and drinks constantly. Even when we are over there, she doesn't interact with her granddaughter (or son) at all. And then I laid it on her: "You're the one that canceled her first birthday party at the last minute. You're the one that doesn't even know her favorite color. You're the one that didn't know she cried when her grandfather stumbled into the vacation house, tipsy, because she was scared”.
And that is the end of that, I hope.
31. Get Out
We had dated for about three months before I went to her house. I didn't complain that it took so long because she was fantastic; however, I always did suspect something was amiss because I never saw where she lived. She explained that she still lived with her parents to save money and pay off student loans, which made sense to me.
When I was finally invited to pick her up at home, I arrived at a very nice place in a quiet neighborhood. I didn't meet her parents because they were not home at the time. The "you-just-missed-them" timing continued for another four months or so. Once I went into the house, it was clear she lived with her parents and was an only child. Seven months in, and I was already falling for her.
Just before we went on an out-of-town trip, her car broke down. Not a problem. I let her know that I was heading her way and would be there in about 30 minutes. As I was getting close, I sent her a two-minute warning text. No response. I parked in front and waited like she had asked me to do on all occasions. I spent five minutes waiting, but no one came out. I send her a text—no response.
I then headed for the door. Her father answered. He was a quiet man—nice, but incredibly quiet. I introduced myself and we shook hands. Then her mother appeared. In my head, I was thinking: "Mother and daughter are clearly related," since they looked the same except for their age. Then she spoke, and my face went pale. Her mother was the devil incarnate. She spewed hatred with every breath.
She turned back to her daughter and threw something at her; something heavy that thudded off the wall and then the floor. The mother proceeded to yell and curse at her daughter while her father and I stood quietly at the door. In retrospect, he was probably so quiet because his wife would have boiled him alive if he didn't follow her directions perfectly.
Within 30 seconds, their daughter broke free by running out through the garage. Her mother watched her go, then turned and charged at me. She stuck her hand in my face and began wagging her finger. The vitriol then about deflowering her daughter then spewed out. It sounded like scary Bible verses, except they weren't.
They had the right shout-about-it preacher cadence, though. I can't remember all of what they said as it all came out too fast. I was amazed their daughter turned out as nice as she did. The mother never had a nice thing to say about anyone other than herself.
I tried to imagine life with their daughter, but I would always be haunted by the thought of her father, who was the shell of what must have been a man at some time in the past. Each time I saw him, I faded a little bit inside. She never sounded like her mother, but she eventually became EXTREMELY manipulative as time went on. I eventually noped out of that relationship after many failed conversations. Life is now good.
32. The Crazy Is Coming From Inside The House
Everyone in my family is a worthless pile of trash who would diss the Pope for attention. I mean, there is something seriously wrong with them and I have no idea why I didn’t turn out like them. Long story short, I brought a girl home who I was dating and it went exactly as I thought it would.
The first thing out of my stepdad's mouth was: "Doesn't he have a tiny Johnson!? You should come over here and sit with me." It was like an old-school cartoon...I could have sworn I saw dust kick up with how fast she took off out of there and never spoke to me again.
33. Happily Never After
My first wife’s parents had no concept of boundaries. Her older brother was in and out of rehab all the time, and her sister did shady things to pay for her habit. We foolishly thought that we'd be able to keep them at arm's length, but she felt guilty and let them pull her back into their dysfunctional messed-up lives. After a while, I couldn't take it anymore and we split.
34. One And One Only
I knew a kid way back in the day, and his parents overly supervised everything he did. If he wanted to "play outside", well it has to be in the little "park" that's 50 feet from their front door. And when he did go over, the dad would just be staring out the windows. Any bad language? That's a paddlin'. Sarcasm? You better believe that's a paddlin'.
I remember one time someone had bought some Swedish Fish and was sharing them with everyone. Their response stunned me. The mom comes flying out and says, "You can only have ONE fish....." and then watched him eat a single fish to make sure he wouldn't eat any other.
Now the kid is so deep in the closet he's wrapping Christmas Presents and so stressed he could turn coal into diamonds.
35. Sometimes You CAN Choose Your Family
I'm 26 now, and have known I was adopted since I was three years old. I don't know what kind of adoption I was (open or closed) but I know that my biological parents signed their rights for me away shortly after my birth. I was in the foster system from five days old until three. This is because I was hard to place, as I was born with an atrial septal defect (ASD).
I developed complications due to the condition, which needed surgical intervention. I eventually was adopted by a NICU/pediatric nurse, my mom, and was raised in a loving and caring home. When I was 18, I was contacted via letter by some woman named "Claire" saying that she wished to speak to me. I didn’t respond, because I didn't want to, and because I was having another heart surgery at the time. I had loving grandparents, who were older and passed when I was 20 years old, but then suddenly life threw me another tragedy.
My mom passed when I was 22 after an intense fight with cancer (she had been in remission). I was heartbroken, but I went to therapy from 22 until now to handle my grief. I didn't even think of "Claire" again until I received another letter. The letter basically detailed that "Claire" was my older sister via my biological father and she had spent some decent money to track me down.
The letter detailed that she had done some serious work to discover what happened to me. The story chilled me to the bone. Basically, my biological father and biological mother were both married and had an affair together. I was the by-product of it and when the other spouses found out, there was a serious conflict. My biological parents signed away their rights after I was born to save their marriages
I was my biological mother's first child and my biological father's fourth. Basically, Claire discovered this secret when she went through her father's records and found a single photo of me plus my birth certificate. He denied my existence and Claire spent a good chunk of a few years looking into it. My biological mother's family was surprised at finding out I existed. They shamed their mother, who gave up my information almost immediately.
So basically I had seven siblings reaching out to find out more about me. I didn't really respond to her letter and instead talked to my aunt, my adoptive mom's sister, who told me that I should proceed with caution. She works in social services, so I valued her opinion. I opted to tell Claire I had no reason to want to speak to her or the other siblings, but would appreciate a medical history.
She's since reached out on Facebook and has tried friending me. She's sent me messages and letters including family photos unsolicited to my house. I finally had enough and reached out six months ago to tell her I had no interest. And I really don't. I feel kind of grossed out. I was placed for adoption simply for my existence and don't feel good communicating with her. Her reply infuriated me.
Claire blew up and is sending me messages saying that the family wants to know about me. They've moved on from the infidelity and the affair. She said "the entire family wants to embrace you—your mother is ill and wants to make up for lost time". I told her I didn't want any communication, especially since she called her "your mother" when I very plainly explained I already had a family, and I don't feel like I should be anyone's source of closure.
I don't know how to navigate this, but I know after thinking about it that I don't want any communication or to meet these people. For what it’s worth, Claire is the only one mentioning that my biological mother is sick. Everyone else is sending me messages berating me for not responding to Claire and telling me that they want me to talk to them.
Some are also admonishing me for being rude to Claire. There's no sign of my bio mom being ill on any social media and my request for more information on her illness, which I sent a week ago, hasn't been answered. My aunt has also put me into contact with a lawyer that she knows through the system.
He's begun looking into my adoption—which was closed according to my father—and to see about creating a paper trail for harassment. The messages keep coming and I even opened my PO box today to discover a package plus a few letters, all from Claire. I promptly wrote return to sender on everything and dropped it off at the post office.
Luckily I'm in a different country and the only mailing address they have is my post office box. Hopefully it comes back that my adoption was closed and I can send them some form of cease and desist through the adoption agency.
36. A Nice Day For A White Wedding
My fiancée and I decided on a casual wedding, not extremely fancy but also not sweatpants and sweatshirts, you know what I mean? My mother-in-law decided to go dress shopping the other day and she chose a literal bridal dress…which is...not so great. We’d be fine if it was maybe a short dress or a cream or off-white color, but this was a full-on wedding dress, train, and everything.
My fiancée asked her if she could get a dress that wasn’t a bridal gown and just choose one of her own? Or something that doesn’t make it look like she’s getting married? Which is funny considering she just went in what she slept in for her own wedding. She threw a hissy fit, calling my fiancé an entitled witch, saying that she could wear whatever she wanted and that my fiancée shouldn’t stop her.
She said that she’s the adult and my fiancée is the child (you’re both grown women, sit down). My fiancée told her to screw off and that she doesn’t need to worry about the dress because she’s no longer invited! She just responded with another insult and blocked my fiancée before running off to my father-in-law and telling him what happened.
My fiancée asked him if he’d still come to the wedding if his wife wasn’t there and he said “that’s fine, there’ll be less complaining anyways”.
37. It’s Like You Lost A Whole Family
So long story short, after I graduated college I moved back home with my parents and in less than a year I gained like 50+ lbs and spiraled into a terrible depression. I basically lay in bed and ate and slept all day and all night. My parents would make fun of me for "getting fat" and call me lazy and made it nearly impossible for me to muster the motivation to get up and take care of myself.
Luckily, I eventually found a job and started getting out of the house, but I still couldn't lose the weight I gained no matter how hard I tried to diet and exercise because I couldn't stop eating my feelings. Well, I moved out and lost a ton of weight without even trying, my old clothes are starting to fit again and I feel fantastic. I had to stop by my parents’ house to give my little sister something and my mom saw me. I’m still stunned at how she reacted.
She became enraged that I lost weight. She said it wasn't fair (she has been on "diets" for as long as I can remember and never really loses any weight) and that I'm trying to make her look bad because "everyone knows if you lose weight after leaving someone it means they were the problem". I was like yeah, I'm much happier now, go figure.
I'm just frustrated that my own mother can't be happy that I'm happy. Just ugh. I'm mad that I can't see my family without being made to feel guilty. It’s just not fair.
38. Let Go Of My Lego
This happened four years ago, and my blood still boils at the thought of it. My mother-in-law believes I took her little boy away from her. I just can't win with her. Nothing is good enough. I've come to terms with that. Even moving in next door didn't solve the “taking her son” issue, but that's another story. My husband does shift work, 14-hour days.
During our wedding planning, he was doing this seven days in a row, two days off, then another seven days. He asked me to plan everything. We wanted to elope, but family insisted we have a real wedding. So, I planned everything. Literally everything. Because my future husband asked me to. We wanted super non-traditional, and I nailed it.
I did it on budget. On point. It was the best we could do with being forced to have a big wedding. No church. So I found a great local lady to marry us. General ceremony type. We put in as many hidden inside jokes into the ceremony as we could, related to our history and interests. Geeky jokes that would fly just under the radar unless you knew us.
But, the most meaningful part was our sand ceremony. My husband and I still have Lego from our childhood. So we went and dug out pieces and colors to use instead of a sand ceremony. It was my favorite part. Literally mixing the Legos to never be separated. One bucket, one life. This went on without a hitch. I poured. He poured. It was adorable.
I laughed at the pieces he picked. He asked me: Did you put a shark in there too?! Of course I did. We came back from photos a few hours later. That’s when I noticed something that made my blood boil. I noticed kids playing with a pile of Legos at a table. Our Legos. From our sand ceremony. I go looking for the box of ceremony items and it is gone.
Everything is gone. I asked the kids where they got it (They were young) and they said a nice lady was giving away free Lego! My blood was so hot. I asked my Maid of Honor for help and she lost her mind too. We tried to find all the pieces, but you know how kids are. The important, meaningful pieces were gone. The figurines, the shark, the cool special pieces.
When we finally confronted my mother-in-law, she told me how selfish it was to have Lego at the wedding and not let kids play with it. That I'm too old for Lego. That it wasn't a real sand ceremony and I ruined the wedding once again. She was convinced she did nothing wrong. We made an announcement eventually and traded the kids money for any Legos they found.
We got back even more, only missing a few. It was enough to fill back the special boxes I had made for it. Except... no childhood shark (my special piece). No childhood figurine (his special piece). Ever since then, my mother-in-law and I are barely on speaking terms. It took a good year, I think, to use more than a few words with her at any given time.
She did finally realize what she did, however, after a later fight. She had again insisted I had ruined HER son's wedding by getting upset about “silly items with no meaning”. I knew just what to do. I took her wedding album and told her I threw it out. It's just a silly book with pictures, after all. Eventually...and I mean EVENTUALLY...she did apologize for everything she did at our wedding.
This included other things like telling everyone I'm just a good-for-nothing gold digger. I did eventually give back her wedding album. We are still on very thin ice. However, boundaries are much more respected after a few other item-taking situations. You do what you have to do when negotiating with crazy people, I suppose. You DO have to get on their level sometimes.
39. When Nature Calls
We didn’t have a traditional wedding as we couldn’t afford it. Besides that, my parents would not give us any money. I knew they wouldn’t but gave it a shot since I was the first child to get married. We also lived five states away at the time. We settled on a date two months out and I called my parents to let them know about the news.
Me: I just wanted to tell you that we are going to get married at the courthouse on that Friday’s date. Mother: Ok. Sounds good. Father: That won’t work. Pick another date. Me: …Well, we already paid and booked it. There is a fee to change it. Father: Well, deer season starts on that Monday. I am not missing opening day because you can’t be reasonable.
Me: I am not changing the date because deer season is more important to you than me. You can fly in on Thursday and leave Saturday and still have plenty of time to be ready for Monday Father: No. You are just doing this so I can’t go hunting. You are being so selfish to want to waste my hunting money on you. Yes, he seriously said this.
Me: Ok, dad. Your deer season is way more important than watching me get married. I do not want you there. I want my day to be happy and with you there it won’t be. I will mark you down that you won’t be here. Mom, will you, brother and sister come? Mother: Your sister will, but your brother is going to hunt with your father. Me: sounds great. Hangs up.
“Father” did not come. I gave myself away. My mom and sister came. They were so happy for me. The best part was that my “father” and brother did not get one deer that season! I laughed until I cried and my sides hurt.
40. A Sweet Sore Spot
I haven’t spoken to an entire half of my family in a year now. Life is good, no regrets, and there was no drama involved as I just quietly slipped out of the picture. But my grandmother made these cookies...kind of like sugar cookies, but different from any other cookie I’ve seen. Her own original recipe, and I can’t find anything close online.
I made them with her probably 50 times as a kid/teenager but have no memory of what went in them or how to make them. I’m craving these cookies as we always made 100s of them for Christmas, but it’s not worth trying to reach out to someone just for the recipe. So just a reminder: If you feel you may go no contact with your awful family, casually get the recipes first.
41. Screw Them, Every One
So, I have a narcissistic sister who my mother groomed to be the golden child. She has to constantly be the center of attention. She's one of those people who can't be bothered doing things that are boring or icky, and lives for attention. Her need for attention often involves the way she dresses, meaning often objectively "inappropriate".
As in, she'll wear very light beige to weddings. A funeral for an elderly relative came with a request to wear traditional mourning colors (black, navy, grey) for a rosary service in a Catholic Church, and she showed up in a lime green short dress. "People expect me to look attractive". I have numerous stories on that front, just trust me on it.
My mom refused to address this throughout the years, so it's a fact of life. I just sort of expect it. Anyway, another major narcissist in the family was being presented with an award from the state government at the capitol, several hours away. It was a huge honor and a very conservative organization. We were sent multiple copies of a strict protocol on dressing for the event, which was basically business evening dress of suits in blue, black, grey or burgundy.
You were supposed to wear low heel shoes and no flashy jewelry. Media would be present, we could not be late, you needed your invitation to enter, there were pointers on who you can approach, etc. The day of, I calculated the drive time and everyone loaded in the vehicle. My sister as usual wasn't ready. My mom was making excuses, also as usual.
I told her we were leaving in five minutes with whomever was in the car because if we were late, we could not attend the reception. My mom ran inside and told my sister I was being "difficult" and to hurry up. She came down the steps with my mom. I saw what she was wearing and groaned. I told everyone else in the car to not say anything because if we had to wait for her to change, we would be late and it would just be a fight and not worth it.
I figured if it was a huge issue, they would stop her at the door. I knew the relative getting the award would be angry but I figured it was better that only one of us was in trouble rather than all of us being late. She had on a tropical sundress in bright turquoise with palm trees and parrots on it and strappy sandals—something you would wear to a barbecue.
She had on big beachy jewelry. Everyone in the vehicle was wearing a black suit with black pumps. No one said a word and I could see that my sister was angry that no one commented on how cute she looked. We arrived with about two minutes to spare. We walked into the reception and it was 100 people standing in small groups talking.
We were greeted by the head official and my sister entered last. Probably half the room turned and stared. There was an awkward silence and then whispering. Every single person was wearing a dark suit except one elderly lady who wore a dark purple dress. From across the room, I see the relative that is being honored with a “what the heck” look on his face.
I just shrugged. My sister messed up bad. She knew it too; she spent the entire evening in the restroom. The relative lost their mind, and my mom tried to blame me because somehow I did not give my sister enough time to get dressed? Of course, my relative pointed out that if she had time to put on a sundress, she had time to put on a black skirt and button-down blouse.
A month later, my mom was telling relatives I embarrassed the family because I didn't make my sister go in and change, even though everyone got the same email. This is what happens in a nasty family.
42. Do As I Do, Or Else
I do not drink. It is not a personal choice; it’s because it started to make me sick in my early 20s. It got gradually worse and in the end, one sip of anything gave me stomach cramps and hives lasting a week and I ended up in hospital. I had a gastroscopy and some tests. Nothing wrong was found with my stomach but apparently, my bloodwork was off the charts.
The doctor said there was a possibility it could end up in anaphylactic shock if I drink again. So I thought meh, no big deal, guess I’m not drinking ever again. Well turns out it’s a massive deal for my family. I thought simply saying no thank you when offered a drink would be enough. I did tell them it makes me sick, but they said to stop making stuff up.
In my family, if you are not drinking you are not being “social”. I’ve never been much of a drinker even when I could drink, but for them, it’s normal to empty 3-5 bottles of the hard stuff and 4-6 bottles of vino as a group of 10 in one afternoon. The last time I saw my family, we were all sitting in my aunt’s garden and the usual started: Aunt: What do you want to drink?
Me: Water, please. Aunt: Ahh don’t be silly, your husband isn’t here, what do you want to drink? Me: Water please Aunt: Are you pregnant? Me: No, I’m not, can I just have water, please. Aunt: Your husband doesn’t allow you to drink? Me: What? He doesn’t care. I just don’t want any. Can I just have water please? Aunt: Did you drive here?
Me: No, I walked. Still, I don’t want to drink. Aunt: Alright I’ll bring you some water. A few moments later she put a glass of clear liquid in front of me and said here you go. I picked up the glass, and it was cold. Great, it was a hot day. I took a gulp and swallowed—before I realized the horrible truth. It wasn’t water. I asked her what is that!?
She shrugged and said “Cinzano and tonic” and winked at me! I sat there in bewilderment, not sure what to do or say, so I just stopped talking, trying to take in what just happened. I started to feel unwell soon so I made my excuses and left. I spent the night throwing up, sweating, and shivering, but thankfully I felt ok in the morning and didn’t have to go to the hospital.
Now, I am going back to my hometown for the first time in two years. Please tell me, am I being silly when I don’t want to see this aunt ever again? I feel like I’ve been violated in some way but cannot quite put my finger on it. Am I making mountains out of molehills? Am I being too sensitive?
43. Party Pooper
My husband and I have been together for eight going on nine years, and married for a year and a half. Ever since we got married, his sisters have been an absolute nightmare. They always try to sabotage my plans with my family. They take over family vacations. His sisters are passive-aggressive and they make backhanded comments. They make him feel guilty over the stupidest things.
My husband is the youngest and they treat him like a know-nothing twit, but at the same time place responsibility on him that shouldn't be his in the first place. Today was the last straw. They're planning a surprise birthday for their dad and they gave us the option of choosing between two weekends. I told him to tell them no to one weekend because it's my mom’s birthday.
I have a whole day planned. He didn't say “no” exactly, he just said it's my mom’s birthday on weekend number two. She took it as a yes and planned for weekend number two, and then said their mom had asked for that day off already. This was all in the span of three hours at 8 pm. My husband told me and I was furious that she would do that after he had already said it was my mom’s birthday.
He told her it’s not going to work and she tried to guilt him because he never said no straight up, and didn't communicate well enough. Excuse me! If he said I have surgery that day, would she have taken that as a yes as well? She’s only saying that because she's petty and trying to be a witch. She tried to make my husband feel guilty for not wanting to go to his father's birthday.
He asked her why she would give us the option of choosing between two dates if she had clearly already planned on doing it on a specific date. But still trying to compromise, he told her Sunday of weekend number two would work out better for us since my mom’s birthday is Saturday. Nope. She said that wouldn't work, even though everyone in the family has weekends off and my mother-in-law also requested to have that Sunday off.
She told him to tell me and my family that he won't be attending my mom’s birthday and that I should just celebrate it with my mom alone and he should celebrate it with his dad alone. And to add insult to injury she said he still needs to pitch in with money for the party regardless of whether he’s going or not. I finally told him that his sister was a witch, and I'm sorry if he can't see how petty and vicious she is, but she is.
She only does things because she thinks they'll create a rift in our marriage or just to get to me.
44. A Bunch Of Babies
I am getting married in about two months. I sent out my wedding invitations recently and at the bottom, it says “ADULTS ONLY. NO EXCEPTIONS”. First, let me say that I love kids. But my fiancé and I made the decision to not allow kids/babies to our ceremony because they get bored, cry, won’t sit still, have tantrums, and I just don’t want that to happen during our wedding.
We’re also going to have an open bar, and I don’t particularly want a bunch of drinking adults around my little cousins or my friends’ children. But this backfired almost immediately. My cousin Sam texted me last night saying: “So you’re seriously telling me I cannot bring my son to your wedding”? To which I said…yes. I really wasn’t expecting her next response.
Sam responds: “Then I can’t come and that kills me. I just want you to know how badly I want to be there and I have dreamt my entire life of standing next to you at your wedding. But I just can’t want to be somewhere with someone who doesn’t want the other half of my heart there”. She’s trying to guilt-trip me into letting her bring her son.
Saying things like “and I’ve confided in my best friends and they say it’s your wedding it’s your right to have it the way you want, but yeah. I just want you to know it’s not vengeance when I don’t come. I’ll probably cry the entire day”. I suggested that she take her son (he’s seven) to his friend’s house for a few hours so that she can attend.
She says “I can’t just tell him no and leave him somewhere. I’m not strong enough to do that to his sensitive little heart. I could, if he wasn’t so aware and sensitive. It would hurt him too much. He’s too smart to manipulate”. Um. I’m not asking her to manipulate her son. I’m asking that she be an adult and tell him he can’t come and that children aren’t allowed to attend. But there’s something else at play here.
Not to mention, she’s angry that I didn’t choose her to be my Maid of Honor. I chose my stepsister. While on the phone, Sam said “I don’t mean any offense by this, but SCREW HER”. She’s literally only mad about this because my dad cheated on my mom 10 years ago and married the woman he cheated with. She hates my sister because she hates my stepmom.
I ended up being on the phone with her for half an hour talking to her about this. With her constantly telling me “I’m trying to get sober, so I just wanted to talk to you and tell you how I feel”. Which to me sounds like she’s going to blame me if I still tell her no, and she decides to fall off the wagon. We ended the phone call with her saying “Will you just promise me one thing, even if it’s a lie? Will you just promise me that you’ll consider it, and that you’ll talk to your fiancé about it”?
So I told her yes, that I’d consider it and talk to him about it. And I did. I talked to him, and I’m not changing my mind.
45. Enough Is Enough
You're going to need a little backstory. I have two sisters and a brother, and one of my sisters is the most dumpster fire person I've ever met. I'd like to say she wasn't always this way, but now looking back, there's always been a sense of entitlement with her that I could never quite understand. My sister is three years older than me.
We lost our mom very young. I was five. We were raised by my father. Now, my sister is not my full sister. We share the same mom, not the same dad. However, my father met our mom when she was pregnant with my sister, adopted her right away, and her real father never wanted a relationship with her and signed over parental rights immediately.
We didn't find that out until right before my mom passed, though. I guess she didn't want to die without telling her. Makes sense. Anyway, my sister was a runaway. It started young. Every time she'd get in trouble—she'd run. And it wasn't that my dad was strict, quite the opposite. He yelled a lot, but we never got hit, we never even got grounded.
We of course had to help out around the house because he worked midnights, but overall, he was a decent enough parent. He never treated my sister any differently. Never made it seem like she wasn't his child. Heck, he was the only one there when she took her first steps. But she started getting interested in boys, bad boys that were in lock up, normal teenage rebellion on her part.
The first time she ran away she ended up going to her real father’s house. My dad tried to hide it, but I could see how hurt he was. She kept running away, and she'd come back for a month or two, then leave again. Sometimes for a few days, sometimes a few weeks. Sometimes months. Months of not knowing where she was. My dad would follow any lead he had.
We'd be out well past dark almost every night trying to find her. I heard him crying a lot. And then the big change hit. She got pregnant at 18 and had the baby at 19. She moved back in, and my dad paid for everything until the kid was nearly three. At that point, he told her she had to get a job. Instead, she moved out with a man who paid for everything and took care of her kid.
She didn't love him, and she made that obvious. They fought all the time. He got her pregnant, but dude only stays for so long before he finds someone who actually does love him and does want to be with him. He buys my sister a trailer, and she insists she will get a job now. She lives down the street from me, we offer to drive her places (she doesn't have a license), and we offer to watch her kids for free.
We offer to let her come over and use our Wi-Fi. For months she comes over and uses the Wi-Fi, but doesn't fill out applications for jobs. She downloads movies instead. I ask her all the time: Did you pay rent this month? Did you feed your cat? I had two cats and was always offering her litter and food. She always said she was fine.
Months go by. She tells me she's getting evicted in three days. She had stopped letting me in her house for about 3-4 months. Anyway, I help her move her stuff out. Then I find out what’s really been happening. She hadn't been feeding her cat. He's SKIN and BONES. There was nothing left of this cat. There are Cheerios in its food dish.
I take it home. I rename him. The vet says another 2-3 weeks he would have starved. He puts on 14 lbs within a year. He's happy and healthy now. She still tells people I kidnapped her cat. Then she meets another guy, and this guy has a rap sheet. He's been behind bars for big time things. He makes her give her daughter (from the guy she never loved) to the girl’s father.
He still has her. She stops contacting her daughter. Then it took an even darker turn. I get worried about her because she starts posting some bizarre things on Facebook and not answering my calls. Things that are not her. Things that sound like she’s being forced to write these humiliating posts about how awful she is.
I ask for a welfare check on her. She blocks me and I don't hear from her for over a year. Our grandmother passes away, and I try to get her to go see her. She makes up some excuse and doesn't talk to any of us until three months later when my family held a service. My grandma didn't want a funeral; she wanted a party after people had a chance to grieve properly.
She has a kid by this bad guy now. Getting ready for the party, she has to pin her shirt to her bra because her shoulders are showing and he says she looks inappropriate. I get her alone, and she says she’s happy. I tell her she can leave if she wants to. She doesn't. I try to talk to the guy for a little bit, and things seem okay. His parents are great, fantastic really considering their son.
But, they ask my sister and the boyfriend to sign over rights to their new baby to them, in exchange that they will buy them a house. They agree. They get pregnant again to replace that child, and they don't tell me until the day she goes into labor. I'd been talking to her every few weeks at this point. She never mentioned it to me even once.
I give her $3,000 when they move to help them get the kids their new bedrooms as she’s seeing her daughter again and they still have their first child and now this new kid. Neither her nor her boyfriend work. Of course not. Two months later, she asks me for $350 but I am hurting for money and I can't give it to her. I tell her I can in a few weeks when I get a bonus. More unsettling truths come out.
She tells me her power is shut off and this guy’s parents took the kids. I still can't help her. She tells me never to call her again, that I'm a bad sister and an awful aunt. That I'm pathetic and needy. She hits all the low blows. I just said okay, let me know if you change your mind. She blocks me. She contacts me two days later and her story has changed.
She needs $125 for a hotel room. I tell her to just stay at her house without power, as the kids aren't with her and it’s not hot or cold. She then says her house was broken into. Every time I tell her no, there's a new story as to why she needs this money. I send her $40 for food. I then find out through a mutual friend that they are selling their newly acquired home (18k home) for $5,000.
They are rehoming their dog for a fee. I am blocked from seeing these posts. The comments indicate she has sold both of them. I block her because I don't want to confront her. What’s the point? She’s just going to lie. Whatever the real reason is, she’s not going to tell me. At this point she has not spoken to 90% of the family in months, my grandma’s funeral being the only time, and before that, it’s been years.
She starts messaging all of them for money. She tells them I'm a liar because I warned them what was going on. She says she’s sleeping under a bridge now. They refuse to go to a shelter because they will get split up. My parents offer to take her kids. My parents offer to let her move in, but jailbird can't come. She chooses the so-called bridge.
My parents told me yesterday that they got custody of her first child. I see her second child quite regularly, as the father and I have a great relationship, but she hasn't spoken to her daughter for months. I feel guilty for not doing more to help her, at the same time I feel like I have officially reached my end with her. There is nothing more I can do.
46. More Wheels, More Problems
In October my fiancé’s dad, grandpa, grandma, aunt, and cousin schemed to take my brand new all-terrain tires off of my Jeep while we were out of town. I told them that they had to give them back ASAP or I was filing charges. They didn’t, but they didn’t know who they were dealing with. I kept my word and reported my tires as stolen.
Well, we recently went to his company’s Christmas party and while we were there, his dad told him that I was not invited to Christmas or any family functions “as a result of my actions”. I told my fiancé that they best cough up my tires soon because I’m in the midst of preparing to sue. I don’t like his family, but we used to get along until this began.
Now I just want to go off on them. I want to text his grandpa and tell them that if they don’t want me at Christmas, then I don’t want them at our wedding. Is that too harsh? We moved up here so he could be closer to his family, but they’ve exiled me because I continue to fight back over my property. Should I continue to plan my wedding and leave out half of my intended guests because of tires?
I genuinely never want to see them again. They have thrown me under the bus, tried to get him to leave me, started all of this over tires when they could’ve just used the ones they bought for themselves in the first place.
47. Baby Crazy
My sister and I haven’t been on speaking terms due to long-term issues. Long story short, she has anger issues, serious jealousy problems, and my mom enabled her. When she found out I was pregnant she did a complete 180 largely due to a severe case of baby rabies. She basically tried to convince me to move back home, then when that didn’t work she tried to convince my husband for us to move back home.
She’s been largely overbearing trying to control everything about the child. So into today: I’ve had a rough couple of days between insomnia, depression due to insomnia, and just a state of stagnation while waiting for things to happen so I can finish set things for my baby. What this ultimately meant was I had no time for her garbage.
So she calls me and asks about “her baby”. I just snapped at her. I was like “Oh, I didn’t realize you’d conceived and were currently expecting”. She expressed dissatisfaction at my response and then eventually amended it to “our baby”, to which I responded well unless I was mistaken you weren’t in the room when she was conceived. Eventually, she just had to drop the baby talk because she realized she was getting nowhere fast.
48. Ladies And Gentlemen, The Father Of The Groom
Two years ago, I got married. It was a casual wedding; we had it up north at my grandparents’ ranch and for the most part, it was nice. Except for the fact that my father can’t let go of a divorce that happened 20 years ago and has no idea how to act civil. My parents got divorced 20 years ago, my mom was getting tired of him being a jerk and left him.
He still has not gotten over it and always has something to say about my mother on Facebook and in person. A week before the wedding, my father sent me this long text message saying he didn’t want my mother to “ruin his childhood home with her presence” and that “her and her family are not welcome at the wedding”. He also added that because his parents own the house, he has reason to exclude my mom’s side from the wedding.
I had to remind this man that A) She is my mother, she is allowed at my wedding, B) I’m not excluding my grandparents, aunts, and cousins from my wedding because you’re petty, and C) You don’t live in that house anymore, it’s not your wedding, and if you don’t like it you don’t have to come. He didn’t like my answer, so he cried to my grandparents.
He said that they were “betraying him” by having the wedding at their house. I was delighted by their reply. My grandparents told him he should stop acting like a child and attend his own son’s wedding. So he pouted about it and decided to go. On the day of the wedding, we picked separate seats for the two of them so my dad didn’t throw a tantrum over having to sit next to my mom.
The ceremony went fine without any interruptions from him…and then it turned into a nightmare. Because then we had the reception. Jesus. Christ. This. Man. My mother still talks to my dad’s side of the family since my maternal grandmother and paternal grandfather were close friends growing up. There is no awkwardness or tension between both sides of my family...except for my father.
Everything’s going well at the reception, my wife and I are just vibing at the table with our food and my uncle and my mother are at the table with us. And then my father comes over. First, he asks my uncle “what the heck is he doing at the table”. My uncle shrugs and says that he’s just having a conversation with people and not “sulking in the corner because he’s bitter”.
My father tells him that my mother isn’t allowed to interact with his family and he should have pushed her away when she approached him. My uncle told him that he’s an adult and he can do whatever he wants. This only made it escalate that much further.
My father then tells my mom that she needs to leave and that “he won’t allow her in his presence”. My mom just stares at him and goes back to her conversation. He yells at her to leave louder and she continues to ignore him. My uncle tells him to screw off, and my dad tells him that if he doesn’t tell “that witch” to go away that he’ll flip the table over.
I obviously don’t want him to do that, so I tell him “Dad, since you obviously can’t be civil at your own son’s wedding, I’m going to ask you to leave”. He huffed and told me that America is a free country and that he had every right to stay. So, my uncle got up from his seat, grabbed his arm, and dragged him out of the tent before telling him that if he decided to come back the authorities would be called.
The next day he sent me a long message demanding an apology from ME and saying that what I did humiliated him in front of the entire family. I told him that he humiliated himself because he’s petty and can’t let go of a divorce that happened 20 years ago. C’mon man, you’re 56 years old and you’re acting like a child, get a grip on yourself.
49. Looking A Gift Horse In The Mouth
We were together for 10 years and his mom cried all the time. She made everything about her. For example, one Christmas, her children pooled their money to buy her an expensive TV for Christmas. Her response was chilling. When she opened it, she burst into miserable tears, saying it wouldn't fit in her favorite TV cabinet. She then kept repeating how disappointed she was in the presence of everyone for the rest of the holidays.
She also referred to her daughter-in-law as "the vessel" that provided her grandchildren.
50. Brotherly Love
I actually had the opposite happen to me. During the course of our relationship, my girlfriend was cool most of the time, but she would often flip out after some perceived disrespect. She would always be apologetic later, but towards the end, I felt like I was walking on eggshells. Her family, though. was amazing. Unlike mine, I looked forward to visiting with them.
Her dad and I would shoot pool every week and her siblings were always inviting us to some cool activity. Then, one day, they invited us to play mini-golf and my girlfriend didn't want to go. I was actually relieved because that was the moment I realized that I was only still with her because her family was so awesome. We broke up and I kept in touch with them a bit, but I do miss hanging out with the coolest group of people I ever met.
51. See No Evil, Do No Evil
I was moving in freshmen to the dorms, because if you agreed to move the newbies you got to move in three days early and beat the rush. This man approaches me and asks, "Is this a co-ed dorm"? "Yes..." "I asked for my daughter to be in the all-female dorm". "Oh, I understand sir, that's actually right across the breezeway. Usually, it's in Building X, but X is being renovated so they moved it here. That entire wing is only female".
"But she could walk over here and it would be co-ed" "...Well yes sir, she could walk anywhere she wants to". ".................I'll tell her she's not allowed to walk this way". I never found out who is daughter was, but I'm sure she followed those rules.
52. Great Minds Think For Themselves
One lady we had over at our house was shocked that my (at the time) nine-year-old younger brother could dress himself and brush his teeth. She claimed that he was “so mature” and that her daughter, also age nine, couldn’t do anything like that. My mom immediately realized it was helicopter parenting and had a long talk with her.
I hope that little girl has learned how to dress herself and do lots of other basics now...
53. Ruining It For Everyone Else
My dad coached my hockey team when I was 10-12. He was a great coach and was friends with my friends’ dads and also got them to coach. So here we are in this rinky-dink town and we're running the table on team after team because my coaches actually cared about the kids. We have organized practices. We have skills we try to develop.
Every day we got better. Every game, whether it was a win or a loss we learned something. The last year my dad coached, we had this kid on the team. His name was Chad, and he didn't want to be there. He was very overweight (at 12) and he probably had asthma. He lacked any sense of competitive instincts and he was a complete introvert.
The entire season my dad focused on trying to get him to open up. He tried to get him better and tried to get him to love to play sports. By the end of the season, it was starting to work but...you can't coach asthma away just by being positive about it. And there was another problem. Chad's mom was at all of the games that year and every tournament.
A real winner that woman was. Never cheered for anyone but her son, and her son was the absolute...best. For out-of-town tournaments, we used to have the Zamboni come on between periods.
During that time, we'd be in the dressing room. Chad's mom would come in with a burger for her son....to eat between periods 1 and 2. Between 2 and 3....it'd be fries and gravy. Just like all the sports stars eat. She also kept track of his minutes.
She brought a notepad to every game with a stopwatch and timed how long Chad's shifts were. How often he was passed the puck. How many power play or penalty opportunities he got. You know, the full stats package that you'd expect to get as a professional athlete.
Near the end of the season and throughout playoffs, she would accost my dad, a volunteer coach who had two jobs and three sons to take care of, and ream him out in the hallway. She would do this within earshot of the dressing room. She'd complain about Chad's time on the ice and show the stat sheets she had accumulated. This we all heard.
Chad couldn't have shrunk any lower into his seat. We tried to pump him up but she embarrassed him...every game. EVERY single game she did this. Until at the end of the season, when disaster struck. She finally got her way and got my dad "fired" from his volunteer job. My dad...a former high school and university level coach...fired from his volunteer job...because her son wasn't treated "equally".
I wonder sometimes how that story is spun around Chad's family. I wonder if my dad is cast as the supervillain like some Disney sports movie. I wonder if Chad is always the hero and I wonder whatever happened to him. If all that fighting and pushing by his mom ever ended or did it just continue...for life? I'll never know because he quit hockey and never came back.
Meanwhile, the rest of the team who had the best-coached hockey in their young lives lost three amazing coaches because of one nutcase woman. Participation trophies are NEVER something a kid demands. They have everything to do with the crazy moms and dads who are living vicariously through their poor kids.
Then these jerks have the nerve to say, "Well when we grew up we didn't get participation trophies just for showing up..." Well of course you didn’t, you idiots. You're the morons that invented them.
54. The Black Sheep Of The Family
I'm a 39-year-old woman who is successful and quite well-off. My siblings, sadly, are not. My brother, who is 42, has three children. My sister, who is 35, also has three with another one on the way. My youngest sister, who 28, is married and pregnant, but she had nothing to do with the events of this story. In fact, she's the one member of my family I'm actually close with.
We were all raised to believe that money doesn't matter and that all you need is a happy marriage and lots of kids to live a happy life. Being poor and having lots of kids was somehow glorified. Maybe because that's the way our parents lived and wanted to convince themselves that they didn't mess it up. Fortunately for me, I didn't buy into that nonsense.
I always knew I never wanted children. I focused on my career and on achieving success. Today I have my own house, wonderful pets, and a loving boyfriend. My family, however, seems to think that there's something wrong with my lifestyle. My parents have often commented that my five-bedroom house is empty without any kids running around.
My siblings often tell me I'm selfish for not having kids and actually enjoying my life. However, their disdain for my "selfish" lifestyle doesn't stop them from begging for money. My brother and sister have called me and asked me to help pay their bills. Now, if it's something serious like clothes or school supplies for their kids, I'm willing to pitch in. But they have more ridiculous demands.
They’ve asked me to pay for trips to amusement parks etc. I always refuse. I also pay for my parents to stay in a high-end assisted living facility. They're my parents, I owe them this much. However, I can't help but feel insulted when they sing praises for my siblings for breeding and following in their footsteps and how my parents wish I had done the same.
As if, among all their kids, I'm the biggest disappointment. For this reason, I've distanced myself from them. I only call or visit to check up on them and don't let them be a part of my life. The other day, I got a call from my sister asking if she, her husband, my brother, and his wife could come over. I said OK. I cannot believe this new demand that they made.
They asked me to leave my fortune to their kids, in equal portions. They said if I did, they would stop asking me for financial help. They said this as if they were doing me a favor. "You don't have kids, so who're you gonna leave it to?" asked my brother. I told them I was going to leave my money to charity and that I don't owe them anything at all.
When they went on the "you're selfish" rant, I told them to get lost. The next morning, I got a call from my dad telling me they were disappointed in me. I simply hung up. These people decided to have kids they can't afford and actually have to ask me for handouts every other month. But somehow they think they're so much better than me. The delusion is really something to see.
I should add that my middle sister had her first kid at 22. My brother became a dad at 26. My sister decided not to get her college degree and became a stay-at-home mom. My brother's wife is also a housewife. They are raising soon-to-be four and three kids respectively in single-income households. It's like hitting yourself in the foot and then wondering why there's blood on the floor.
But I'm proud of my youngest sister. She finished her education, married a great guy, has a promising career and she says she'll have another child only if it's feasible. Unsurprisingly, she too has been subjected to snide remarks for "placing money over children".
55. Spoiled Brat Doesn’t Cut It
My 38-year-old sister has just demanded that my parents force me to sell them my house for her to live in without me. I wish I were making this up. My sister has always been extremely selfish and entitled and probably has narcissistic personality disorder, since she appears to legitimately believe no one loves her unless they're doing outrageous things for her.
She did live in my house for about a year before I kicked her out for many reasons. She's literally convinced herself that she will die in any other home. My parents did say no to her demands on my home, thank heavens. I mean, the house is mine. They can't force me to sell it since I'm independent and they have no claim to my home, but I'm glad they're not throwing our relationship under the bus according to her whims, as they've done in the past.
My sister is now furious with all of us and asked us not to contact her until she's "treated like family again". Easy enough. I had zero plans of interacting with her again in any capacity. I can't even with her expectations. It's just too absurd, and I'm slightly terrified my parents will eventually cave and start harassing me to sell them my home for her sake.
I have a really good relationship with them where she's not concerned, but it's a nightmare when she gets involved. Anyway, just venting and getting it off my chest.
56. Survive, Then Thrive, Then Suffer
A bit of background, I am married with two biological daughters and just adopted my son. He is nine months old and has been in my care since he was six months old. His birth mother is my cousin, and we had talked about adopting him when she was pregnant, but she was shamed into keeping him by her mother. There was never a father in the picture.
My cousin also has a daughter (three years old) from another man. The baby is born and it was a hot hot hot mess. My cousin never held him, underfed him, left him in the car seat all the time (which ended up giving him a flat head), and moved in with a horrible man. My cousin's mother didn't do diddly! Which I know it is not her responsibility, but she pressured her daughter into keeping him so badly, but she isn't even going to make sure he is eating right?!
Some serious stuff ended up happening between them. The baby ended up getting passed around, her mother didn't want to take care of him, some other family members didn't want to take care of him, and finally my cousin asked me if I still wanted to adopt him. I did, and I love him very much. This was a closed adoption, as in the birth mother doesn't want pictures, updates or to see him at all.
This is easy to do, as we weren't that close to begin with. I got him caught up on his medical checkups, he has a helmet to reshape his head, he is gaining weight, and emotionally he is doing so very well! He is smiling, laughing, saying mama, and just loves cuddles and kisses—I am sure because he never got them. Until it all came crashing down around me.
See, apparently, APPARENTLY, per the former grandmother and a few other family members, I am depriving him by giving him a stable and loving home instead of letting him float around to awful family members. They also hate that I’m enforcing new family title roles, such as his former grandmother is now aunt, not grandma. Yes, I am the one depriving him....give me a break! He is thriving in my care!
57. A Pregnant Pause
My cousin has always been the spoiled one of the family. She is the kind of person who always gets what she wants no matter who she hurts in the process. We were close growing up, but we drifted apart in the last decade. She met her fiancé about 1.5 years ago, got engaged last May, and set the date for the wedding for this coming August.
Last I heard, back in October, they had already spent $40,000 on it and counting, but alas, there was no way they could invite my partner. Shocker. I moved abroad five years ago and met my partner two years ago. For the last year and a half, we've been trying for a baby. In February the impossible happened. I finally got pregnant!
My little one is due to arrive in October and everyone is over the moon...except for my cousin. She won't understand how there is no way in heaven or heck that I will get on a plane for a two-hour flight and another two-hour train when I'll be seven months pregnant, all without my partner. She threw a fit at me, my aunt, my parents, and anyone willing to listen.
Apparently I am so selfish because of all the time in the world I chose now to get pregnant, probably to take her thunder or something like that. My mostly awful aunt also won't tell her to shut up because her baby can do no wrong in life. Still, at least she doesn't try to convince me and actually admits I'm right when we’re speaking as just the two of us.
58. A Skeleton In The Closet
Long story as short as possible, when my mom and her siblings were between six and 14, their father just up and left one day—on my grandmother’s birthday of all things. No notice. But he revealed to my grandmother he’d been having an affair with a co-worker, and since the house was in his name, he wanted her and the kids to be out within a week.
She never had the resources for a court case and never went after him for child support. So she gathered up the kids and their things and they left. He never gave them a penny and would rarely come pick up one kid at a time for his visitation days, plus he and his new wife were mentally awful when he had them. My poor grandmother worked three jobs just to make ends meet.
Once the kids were old enough to work, they had to help with bills. My mom always used to say if she wanted anything besides basic necessities, they had to work to get it themselves. He married his wife without telling anyone. Well, he just passed last week and my mom and I are the executors of his estate. It’s been a lot of emotions—but one detail is particularly brutal.
We’ve been seeing just how much money they saved over the years. More money than we’ve ever seen, which all has to go to the care of his wife as she’s sole beneficiary and needs to be in a nursing home. But when I was calling the life insurance policy to notify them so she can get her payout, there was a big twist. The woman on the phone said “wait, who is [grandmother’s name]?”
Turns out he had taken out a separate life insurance policy after he abandoned them and made my grandmother the beneficiary. It’s worth five times as much as the one for his wife. Since my grandma passed in 2016 and he kept paying the premiums, it’ll be evenly split between my mom and her siblings. Her siblings, who all went no contact with him as adults, are convinced he must have forgotten about it. I think the truth is much different.
I know him and how careful he was with his money. I remember one day last year when I went to drop off groceries for them and he was in a fuss because he couldn’t account for $1.75 in one of his bank accounts. We can say what we want about him, but he was a highly intelligent person. He knew what he was doing when it came to his finances.
There’s no way he was paying four figures a year on an insurance policy and didn’t know what it was for. I don’t know how I feel about it. Maybe it shows some remorse or humanity, but all the same, I don’t care. They needed money then. An insurance payout after a lifetime of pain doesn’t absolve him of his guilt and selfishness. How he could pass with a fortune and my grandmother passed with just enough to cover her cremation.
I kept him in my life for some reason but dealing with all of his post-passing things is making me hate him.
59. Pulling The Purse Strings
So, I recently got married. When I first got engaged, my parents were super excited and offered to pay for the wedding and reception. We graciously accepted because that would take a lot of financial stress off us and we could focus on buying a house. My parents decided since they offered financial help, they could dictate everything from the guest list to the food to the venue.
They wanted to invite everyone in their neighborhood subdivision, people I have never met. They wanted to serve meat while my husband and I are both vegetarians, and all sorts of things we explicitly were against. After months of fighting, them threatening to take away financial help, and then threatening to not come if we did it on our own, we finally said screw it and we got married in a courthouse.
My mother told me I was the worst daughter in the world and now refuses to talk to me. My father did the same. I’m just exhausted.
60. Not Seeing Eye-To-Eye
Growing up, my family was always close to my mom’s sister. My aunt has two girls who are identical twins and I was always forced to play nice with them even though they never wanted to hang out. When I got married, I asked them to be my bridesmaids, and they stood up in my wedding…only for them to go back to ignoring me and not putting forth effort into the relationship.
I mailed them flowers, would call them each month, send happy birthday texts, and handwrite them letters. But they never initiated. I decided to forgo the relationship and stopped reaching out. They didn’t reach out or contact me for over a year, only to say thanks after I texted “happy birthday”. I am turning 30 in a few weeks and my parents had a plan to host a party, with people flying in from across the country.
Yesterday, one of the twins had a bridal shower and my mom begged me to go, even though I was not asked to be a bridesmaid and did not want to go. When I got ready for the shower, my mother didn’t like my hair and told me to wash it, didn’t like my outfit and told me to change, and once I did all those things to just get through the day and survive, then she was upset with how little I talked with everyone at the shower.
She was giving me nasty glares across the table and hitting my knees underneath it. I found out at the shower that my twin cousins both bought houses, graduated with their masters, and they didn’t even tell me. I felt so hurt at the shower that I decided to tell my parents I did not want them to be invited to my 30th birthday party, as on my 21st my dog passed in my arms and I’ve never had a big party for it.
I wanted to invite people who do not make me feel bad about myself. I didn’t expect the backlash I got. My mom stopped speaking to m and my dad wrote me the most hurtful message I’ve ever read from him—sharing that they are canceling the party, that they will not be attending, and that I am being a selfish spoiled brat.
For what it’s worth, I have invited my twin cousins to every birthday party, every college party—all of it. I have never been invited to any of theirs. I spoke with my brother about the situation, sent him the text messages my dad sent me, and immediately my mom calls my brother apologizing and playing the victim, saying how hard it was for her at the shower because I didn’t talk enough to everyone at the party.
My brother calls my dad and then talks to me. He and I are very close, and he also has beef with the twins, so I thought he surely would understand how stupid this all sounds. His words crushed me. He instead lectured me on how the family needs to get along and how he needs to play devil’s advocate. This all happened as I was in town to visit everyone for the shower.
He then proceeded to tell me that I must have hurt people by not talking to them enough, (but I did talk to everyone!) and as I started to cry, he gave me an ultimatum saying he could either drive me to the train station and I catch the next train back to my home or that I will need to “collect myself” as he was having people come over.
Since I live in a different state, I was planning on staying at his house instead of my parents’. So I decided to Uber to a hotel and stay until my train departs. I feel so betrayed, unsupported, and hurt right now. The worst part is that before my brother spoke with my parents, he offered to host the party instead but after this, I just want to cancel it all, not go to my cousin's wedding, and distance myself from my family entirely.
61. A Disaster From Start To Finish
At my baby shower, my sister insulted my unborn baby, tried to fight with everyone, and then smashed my cake because it wasn’t vanilla and she didn’t get her piece first. But that wasn’t all. My female cousin said that even though she was at my baby shower, it would be just like me to not show up at hers—which is coming up and scheduled on my due date.
She then took a onesie from the gift pile because it would “look better on her baby”. My male cousin used the shower to announce that his girlfriend of three months was also pregnant. He also made fun of my baby’s name the entire time, saying “we’ll never name our baby something stupid as insert common baby girl name here”. Oh, we’re just getting started.
My aunt stated, “Your daughter will be fine but hopefully she looks like her dad, white babies are always the cutest”. I’m half Asian and strongly resemble the Asian side of my family. She also kicked out all of my friends as they showed up, stating “I planned it, I get to choose who comes in”. Various other family members’ comments were icing on top.
“There’s no way you’re 36 weeks, you must have the wrong day”. “You’ll have to stop your career now that baby’s here”. “If you’re not getting her baptized, she’s going to the devil”. “When are you having your next one”? This one didn’t really upset me, just kind of added fuel to the fire. “You’ll have to work out the second she’s born if you want to be pretty again”.
“Why are you getting cloth diapers, do you think you’re better than us”? Don’t get me wrong, I’m thankful for all the efforts. But I really don’t want to see ANY of them ever again.
62. What Was His Is Ours
So, my husband was a heavy-duty mechanic. Before he passed, he had over $15,000 in tools at his work, plus massive tool boxes—and that is the used price I could sell them for, not the new price. His boss agreed to help me sell them since I know squat about tools. Well, his boss called me today and told me that my husband’s parents had called.
They had previously tried to get his tools while he was on life support at the hospital and wanted them again. At that point, the boss told them no, that they weren’t leaving the yard without my permission. But they had to go and do something horrifically selfish. They convinced one of my husband’s co-workers that my husband had given them several tools before he passed, and to get them from his toolbox and deliver them.
Luckily, his boss has a list of which tools were taken. So tomorrow morning I am taking the list, his boss’s statement, and my husband’s will to the authorities and having them charged with theft, getting a restraining order, and getting those tools back. These people haven’t given me a moment’s rest since my husband was admitted to the hospital with terminal cancer.
They have threatened me, told lies about me, tried to take things from me, and just harassed me constantly. It was so bad that my dying husband had them banned from the hospital. At which point they tried to force their way in. Security turned them away. And the sad thing is, they don’t even think they are doing anything wrong.
They believe they are more entitled to his things than his wife and five-year-old son. I have tried ignoring them, but they just keep escalating. And since they refuse to speak to me directly, the only option I have available is going to the authorities. And since his dad has a history of disorderly behavior, assault, and uttering threats, it should be easy to get officers to throw in a restraining order.
I really hope no one is home when the officers show up so they have to go to his mom’s work. She has a type of job where you need a clean record to work there.
63. Joined At The Hip
I went to boarding school for high school, and when I was a senior, there was a freshman whose mother would drive three hours every weekend to be with her. On said weekends her mother wouldn't take her out. Instead, she would hang out with her friends with her, to the point where I think the mother thought she was friends with her daughter's friends.
Field trips? She would go. Band tours? She would make sure she was at every place they performed.
The mother would try and assign extra homework for her to do on top of her school work, which went on until a Dean found out and yelled at the mom. I went to alumni this year and I stayed at an old staff member's house. This house happened to be where the class that graduated that year was having a gathering. Lo and behold, the girl was there...and so was her mother.
64. Calling You Out
I was a trustee for my college fraternity. The final week of pledging has the recruits live in the fraternity house. We have them turn over their phones for the week. This turned out to be a huge mistake. On day two of the week, campus officers come knocking on the door looking for one of the recruits. Turns out that his mother would call him every morning to wake him for class.
65. Fake It Until You Don’t Make It
My parents are super controlling. I confronted them like a week or so ago and told them I was getting married this year, that I am an adult and I get to make adult decisions and I hope they will come to the wedding but if not, that's on them. My dad broke down and said he wanted a better relationship with me and my fiancé. My mom was just mad that I had the "audacity" to speak to my parents that way.
Mind you, I was super calm and diplomatic. My mother then accused me of spreading lies about them and trying to blame all my problems on them. My dad told me he was going to work on her. This past weekend, my dad bought a bunch of pumpkins and invited me and my fiancé to come carve them with my family. We had a great time and even decided to stay for dinner.
At the end of the dinner, my parents told us they wanted to work on our relationship and had scheduled a family counseling meeting after work on Monday. We reluctantly agreed to go because it seemed like they were genuinely trying and it would be nice to have a moderator. I soon found out what a horrific mistake this was.
We went, and it turns out the "counselor" was fake and my parents basically paid this lady to agree with them and gaslight me. They tried to convince me I was "unstable," possibly severely mentally ill, and I needed to call off the wedding and move back in with them immediately. The fake counselor lady just kept saying how perfect and caring my parents are.
She said that they have the financial means to take care of me. I ended up freaking out at them and telling them that they were not perfect parents and they were super dysfunctional and that what they just did was not okay. My fiancé (who was there) started yelling and defending me. When he did so, my parents started insulting him and told him he doesn't know me and he doesn't have the ability to take care of me.
The circus ended when my mom told everyone in the room that I was delusional and said that last year I fantasized that my dad was cheating and told all my siblings. Only, that’s not what happened at all. This was a real event, except it was my mother who thought my dad was cheating and told everyone. When she confronted my dad about it and he got furious, apparently she told him I made it up and convinced her he was cheating.
I ended up pulling up screenshots of messages that she sent that showed she was clearly the one who thought he was cheating and was trying to convince everyone else he was the bad guy. My fiancé was able to back me up and told everyone about the times my mom went off to him about how she thought my dad was getting it on in the back of his office.
My mom ended up admitting that she contributed to the cheating drama but she said she thought I made it worse. In fact, all I did was listen to her nonsense like I have my entire life. We all ended up storming out after that. I'm super devastated right now, I truly thought my parents changed and wanted to fix our relationship and then they did this to me.
I also can't believe my mother tried to use me as a scapegoat when she believed my father was cheating and instead of being honest she threw me straight under the bus. To be fair, I'm not 100% sure the counselor is "fake" but I am 99% sure she isn't licensed or broke all code of ethics because I have seen therapists in the past and this lady was nothing like them.
She didn't ask us our names and there was no paperwork—every therapist and counselor I have ever seen had me sign several pages to tell me my rights and that I consent to treatment as well as disclosing medical history and all that other stuff. She didn't have us take turns talking, she didn't even try to hear my side of things, and she let my parents interrupt me constantly.
66. No Means No
I was never very close to my parents and two brothers. My dad is pretty horrible and clearly preferred his sons over me. He would take them camping, rock climbing, etc. However, I wasn't allowed to do any of that because according to my parents "that's not for girls". My mom often berated me for not being girly enough because I watched action movies, read superhero comics, and wanted a career instead of becoming a stay-at-home mom like her.
She said I disappointed her by not following in her footsteps. To top it off, my older brother could always get away with picking on me because "boys will be boys". He would take away my comics and would be allowed to keep them until I found a safe place to hide them. Growing up, these comic book characters (Batman, Catwoman, and Wonder Woman) were my safe place.
The one relative who I felt understood me and actually gave a darn about me was my mom's cousin, Fred. Fred was also my dad's business partner, and we'd see him quite often. He agreed to take me climbing with his kids, would buy me comic books and didn't ridicule me when I got zits. I'm closer to his kids than I ever was to my brothers.
I was able to move out of my hometown at 27 and haven't gone back since. Nor have I seen or had any kind of contact with my family. I even got Fred and his family to promise not to reveal my whereabouts to my parents. Fast forward to a few weeks ago. Fred has passed due to a massive heart attack. I came to his house to pay my respects and to help out with the funeral.
As expected, I ran into my family. When my mom saw me, she started crying. She tried to hug me but I pushed her away (not hard). My dad demanded to know why I hadn't come home to visit them for all these years. My oldest brother was accompanied by his wife and two kids and the younger one by his fiancé. They tried to introduce me to them.
I just said a polite hello but I honestly felt nothing. I just don't care about them anymore. My mom tried to guilt trip me by crying again, but I told her to show some respect for Fred and to not make a scene. After the funeral, Fred's daughter took me aside and told me that my mom had been pestering her mom to divulge my contact information.
She asked if they could give it to her just to get her (my mom) off their backs. I didn't want this family to be troubled, so I said yes. Sure enough, the next day, my mom called me and again began to berate me for missing my brother's wedding and the births of his kids. I tore her a new one. I told her she had done nothing but make me feel like a subhuman.
I said that they were misogynistic, hypocritical narcissists and had no business raising kids. I reminded her of every humiliation I endured while growing up in her home. I was never treated as a part of her family when I was a child, so why was she bothering now? She kept bawling and telling me I was being cruel to her. Before I hung up, I told her if she ever harassed me again, I would get a restraining order.
67. Let It Go, Let It Go
My sister, Charlotte, passed 14 years ago at the age of 22. It was very sudden, she went in her sleep next to her fiancé, Hassan, while abroad visiting Hassan's family for the first time. It was very horrible for the whole family, not least Hassan who woke to find her and had to travel a long way home alone without his fiancée while completely distraught that he couldn't save her.
We were all absolutely destroyed for years. My mom, somewhat understandably, went completely insane in her grief, and there were many arguments between her and everyone else in the family, including Hassan, about funeral arrangements etc. This is probably quite normal in the circumstances, I only mention it here to illustrate that my mom and Hassan have a somewhat strained relationship as a result of this.
In fact, her relationships with me and my brothers do too for the same reasons. She was very unreasonable at the time, but my brothers, Hassan, and I were always in agreement about the things my mom wanted to fight with us about. Hassan, as Charlotte's fiancé, was considered part of the family, so my mom’s next actions really cut him to the bone.
I found it unsettling that in the early days after her passing mom was saying things like "Hassan may want to go his own way after this, he has no obligation to stay in touch with us if he doesn't want to". It's not really untrue, but it seemed a bit quick to be reacting like that. It took Hassan years to get back on his feet after Charlotte's sudden passing, but he has kept close contact with us.
He also eventually met somebody, Tanya, and they started a relationship. Tanya is a lot like Charlotte, but also very different in a lot of ways, but my family loves her as much as we love Hassan. We have maintained close relationships with both Hassan and Tanya while respecting that both of them, especially Tanya, might find it weird that Charlotte's family is still "hanging around".
We're careful to let them take the lead and not be too imposing, give them space to move on with their lives if they wish to. Everybody had grief counseling in the first few years, except my mom who simply refused. She said there was nothing wrong with how she felt and it was all natural. She wanted to feel her grief, but I think she developed some unhealthy coping mechanisms, and she continues to grieve for Charlotte.
She now finds connections to her in the most random things. Dragonflies have some significance because they're prevalent in a place Charlotte went on holiday this one time, so she wears dragonfly jewelry a lot. When she found a stray dog and failed to locate its owner, she took it as a sign Charlotte wanted her to have this dog and adopted it. But that’s not all.
Every year on the anniversary of Charlotte's passing she goes on holiday to the same place with the dragonflies, like some kind of pilgrimage. Stuff like this. Pretty understandable but probably not the best coping mechanisms. Anyway, five days ago, Tanya and Hassan had a baby, George. My mom text me on the day to let me know, but I didn't get in touch with Hassan or Tanya.
I figured it's their news and they'll tell me when they're ready. I'm super happy for them and can't wait to meet George, but I'm respecting their space. Things are crazy enough when a new baby arrives without your deceased fiancée's family adding to the chaos. Last night my mom texted me again to say Tanya and George were out of the hospital and she was on her way to pay them a visit at home.
I said I hadn't let on that I knew yet, as I was waiting for them to make the first move. Hassan texted me after my mom left, so I "officially" know now and will call later today. But after all this, I was left with a weird feeling that my mom might be getting a bit imposing here. Tanya just got out of the hospital and she has to deal with the awkwardness of introducing her new baby to her partner's past-fiancée's mother.
I mean, technically George doesn't have anything to do with my mom, but she seems to have invited herself around as though she's Grandma #3. This is the same woman who just days after Charlotte passed was prepared to let Hassan cut himself off from us if he wanted, but now he's had a baby she's immediately wanting to be involved in his new family.
Is it just me, or is this all pretty weird? I've yet to speak to Hassan and Tanya, but I suspect they weren't too comfortable with a visit from my mom so soon, and just felt like they couldn't turn her away. I'm worried this might the beginning of a whole new unhealthy behavior for her.
68. Watch Your Back
My mother-in-law is a monster. My husband is currently acting like a jerk, but...we’re dealing. I’ll be darned if I let that woman take anything more from my kids. At the beginning of this year, I was contacted regarding my younger sister’s four-year-old daughter and one-year-old son after she passed. She had issues, and the kids came with their own issues.
My husband and I had four kids of our own. At the time, I was pregnant with our fifth—we had a 10-year-old boy, four-year-old triplet girls, and this new baby boy. It was manageable for us to take them in, so we did. So far, my niece gets along AMAZING with the triplets. My nephew is catching up to where he needs to be, and my niece started school in February with the girls, where she is excelling (ahead of her class in math, and reading).
Niece had also been mistreated at some point when living with her mother. Keeping it vague, she has to travel back to her state to go through medical examinations (made processing evidence easier) and they have since caught the guy, he will be going on trial this year. We still haven’t officially adopted my niece and nephew. We’re currently still only fostering them.
However, we are making progress towards official adoption. Part of this process is making sure there aren’t any other relatives that would be a more suitable fit for them. Their case worker says that we do seem like the absolute best fit for these kids, and not to worry. Before we were contacted regarding them, they contacted my sister’s husband’s family.
No one would take in the kids. My older sister didn’t want to spend the money or time on them, believing they’d grow up to be just like our younger sister, and she said as much to their caseworker. A few weeks ago, that sister contacted me. She was wondering how the kids were doing, if they were adjusting, just generally asking questions about them.
She and I have been no contact for the better part of the last 10 years, as I’ve been with all my family, but I decided for the sake of the kids I’d go from no contact to low contact. It casually comes up that I’m receiving benefits for the kids (a whopping $334 for two kids, a month) which gets split in two and goes into two separate accounts set up for my niece and nephew.
This can be college funds, a down payment on a house, whatever they want to use it on in the future. It’s there for them. My niece is also receiving therapy for free, and my nephew’s physiotherapy is at a discounted rate due to the fact that he’s behind because of neglect. Yesterday, I made a brutal discovery. I find out from the kids’ caseworker that my older sister has petitioned to adopt the kids. She’s claiming that she’s gotten her finances in order to care for them. She’s saying that because I have five of my own kids, and she only has one daughter who’s nearly 16, that it would also be beneficial to me for her to take the kids.
I’m heartbroken, and officially going back to no contact. Now, the adoption won’t be as open and shut as it could have been because we’re going to have to prove that we are a better option for the kids than she is, and that the fact we have five kids isn’t detrimental to them. Thankfully, their caseworker is completely on our side, and agrees that we are the BEST fit for these kids.
She told us that it would be really unlikely for a judge to give my older sister full custody, but did warn that he may award mandatory visitation for a short period of time to see where the kids do best. I know she’d just use them for the money, and not actually care about them, as that’s pretty much what she did with her own daughter for the last 14 years, ever since her ex-husband has had to pay child support.
I’m just so frustrated. And I don’t want to lose these kids. Yes, seven kids under one roof is nerve-wracking on the best days, but when they’re all getting ready for bed, and they’re sleepy and cuddled up against me, listening to me read them a story or watching a movie with them, or just the way their faces light up when my husband or I pick them up from school, or daycare...I wouldn’t trade it for the world.
69. Mother Knows Best
At the point of this story, my ex-husband and I have been separated for over a year. It was a bit of an emotional roller coaster, and the drama never seemed to end. I honestly felt like I was drowning from time to time…and the biggest problem was my mother-in-law. The stuff her son put me through was horrible, but she was giving him a run for his money the entire time.
So I’m eager to be divorced and move on. Or move on as much as I can, considering we have a kid together and he uses the kid to exert control over both of us. Plus, his mother is doing the same thing and trying to manipulate the situation. Now, our divorce is an easy DIY process. I fill out court paperwork, but then realize I have to get an adult to serve it to my ex.
The server signs a “I served him” form and it’s all filed at court together. I then take the paperwork with me to my mother-in-law’s house, because my ex lives with her and I went there a lot for changing over taking care of the kids. At the time, my ex and I were in a fairly good place and life was going ok (provided he always got his way).
I no longer angered him by seeming like I had a brain of my own or anything. However, it was just after he and his mother tried to buy me back with flowers. They totally think they’ve got me all swindled and distracted by these massive flowers…and I ruin it as I want to divorce. It probably shocked them as to why I wasn’t swooning and begging for him back.
In any case, I ask my mother-in-law if she minds handing the divorce paperwork to him to serve him officially. It just has to be served by an adult; any adult that isn’t me. Then sign on the dotted line on the “I served him” form that I had with me. She says, “I’m not handing it to him unless I read it!!! I’m not being involved with anything that would be nasty towards my son. I need to know what you are saying isn’t lies”.
Now, in our state divorce in a no-fault system. The paperwork is literally tick a box saying “I want a divorce please” and filling in our personal particulars. There’s no room for embellishments, reasons or...lies. So I agree that she could read it. She asks if I could leave it with her for a few days to read. I tell her it can’t leave my sight and needs to be served in front of me.
This is also partly because I’m not an idiot. So she says she will read it. At this point, my ex—he’s home—tries to read it over her shoulder and she has to shoo him off. She reads the entire thing end to end as I sat there. She puts it down and proceeds to infuriate me. “I’m not handing that to him. It will upset him”. “There’s nothing nasty there, it’s just our personal details and a request to divorce. He just needs to agree or not. Either way we’re getting divorced”.
“Not going to happen. You’re not getting divorced, he clearly doesn’t want to and you’ve both got to want it”. But this is where she was wrong. “I don’t need his permission to divorce him, we don’t both need to be there. If it’s too hard for him to face, just serve this and I’ll do the rest. He doesn’t even have to show up to court”.
“I will not serve it. I will not upset my babyyyyyy”. I recall asking if I could ask an adult sibling to serve it, seeing as they were also all there. I got told by them too that I was being unreasonable to want to divorce their precious brother and was absolutely nuts for letting him go. Ok. So I leave and on my way out my ex is sitting on the floor in the doorway of the front door.
You know, very unsubtly blocking my exit. Full on tears and victim mode. “Whyyyyy are you divorcing meeeeeeeeeeee”. Really? Um, every type of mistreatment the book. The narcissism, the gaslighting. But of course, I can’t say that as it will set him off, so I don’t really commit to an answer. I gingerly try to side-step around him and get out of there.
I’m feeling super “triggered” by his blocking the exit but trying not to show him that I was triggered. Show him a weakness and you’ll have it used against you. He then proceeded to try to whine his way back into my heart. It was uncomfortable. I stood there for a polite time to make him feel like I’d listened, then I left as quickly as I could, trying not to anger him. But I still have a huge problem.
As my mother-in-law won’t serve him the paperwork and I still want my divorce, I pay money for a qualified process server to do the job. The server’s first question was “Why don’t you just get some friend to hand it to him? It’s far cheaper”. Then I explained and he said he understood. Two weeks later, the process server called me and said, “What the heck is wrong with these people"?!
This was before I even said hello. The story he told me made my jaw drop. Apparently, they locked down everything to stop him! He had to leap over their wrought-iron gate to even knock on their door. Every time my mother-in-law or anyone else came to the door they claimed my ex was not there even though his car was in driveway and a man was behind them who met his description.
They also tried crying and screaming “go awayyyyy”. They eventually stopped answering the door to his knocks and all three screamed “go away” to the server. Now, a while ago my ex sustained a work-related injury, and he rarely left the house because my mother-in-law waited on him hand and foot. It was definitely him there at the time.
The server decided he had to do a technical serve, stick it on his car, nail one to the front door, post one in the mailbox, and do a long, detailed affidavit explaining everything he did. He also said that he saw a man that matched the photo I provided, but the people in the house said it wasn’t him. Finally, he noted the huge number of times he went to the address and tried to serve.
Later I find out my ex had turned his waterworks on his mother and she went into protective mama bear mode to protect him from...being divorced. The financial settlement and kid settlement stuff had already been done, so this was just divorce to no longer be married—that is all. It’s like a sick joke. Perhaps they had another money-grabbing idea in the works, I guess I’ll never know.
So court day arrives. I’m crazy nervous. The biggest hurdle: Will the judge accept that he was served? Otherwise, I’ve got to keep trying to serve him, which is more money for me to pay. I half expected them to show up and be dramatic and refuse to go ahead. But I got some advice and the lawyer said that provided one person asked for a divorce, it’s pretty much a sure thing to get a divorce regardless of what the other person says.
But they could still cause delays so the judge could verify their claims or whatever. I can’t believe what actually ended up happening. They didn’t show up. I sat in the courtroom watching other cases go through like a well-oiled machine, and all the staff in the courtroom moved mechanically and repeatedly. It was almost beautiful to watch them do their thing.
Then finally my name was called. I stand up and introduce myself. The Judge stops. The well-oiled machine stopped. The courtroom staff look from judge to me. I get the feeling this doesn’t happen often. The judge was silent as she read through the paperwork once, then twice. She looks up at me and peers at me for a few seconds.
Then she asks, “Why was he so difficult to serve, do you think”? “Um...I believe that he thought if I couldn’t serve him...that we won’t be getting divorced”. She looked at the paperwork again. “You’ve been separated for more than a year...finances sorted...kids sorted…” The rest of the court staff lean forward in interest. It’s like this court file is the kind that they’re all going to read later and discuss for weeks around the lunch room table.
Judge shook her head in a big nooooo. I thought all was lost—but then came the twist. “Well despite his best efforts, my opinion is that he was legally served. You’ve brought this to his attention on a number of occasions and you WILL be getting your divorce today”. Well-oiled machine kicked back up into gear she said something about him having 30 days to object to the divorce.
Still, the only thing that can stop a divorce at that stage is us reconciling the relationship and us skipping back into the courtroom hand in hand. Nonetheless, some people do try to object just to be difficult. She looked at her file and suggested I might need more advice as a precaution if he’s that insistent on not being divorced. After that, the blood rushing through my ears drowned out the rest.
Oh the relief. A month later, the divorce papers arrived by post. I knew my ex got his own paperwork the same time as he and my mother-in-law claimed I was a con artist and somehow lied to the court. However, they didn’t apply to the court to get it reversed after all that effort. My poor mother-in-law’s son was all divorced. And, thank God, so was I.
70. Wrongfully Accused
My sister disowned me 12 years ago. She was having an affair, and the whole family had gone out to a bar for a graduation celebration. She got really angry as the night went on. I was confused and we got into an argument and I ended up leaving, I didn't hear from her for a few days which was unusual, so I called her and she was still super angry.
I asked, "What's wrong now? " She was pretty moody most of the time, I think my whole life I've walked on eggshells around her. But now she said, "You know what you did"! Um, no. I had no idea. So she begins to tell me that on their way home from the bar that graduation night, her husband told her that I told him she was having an affair.
No, I did not. I told her as much, but she would not believe me. I finally said, “You got played, he must have been suspicious and made it up. When you figure out the truth, call me”. Well, fast forward 12 years later. My husband and I run into her now ex-husband today. I finally asked him why he had said that?? He looked at me like he had no idea what I was saying.
He told me, "You never said anything to me"! I felt...gut-punched, relieved, all kinds of emotions. I knew I had drinks that night, but I remembered the whole night. I felt justified but still sad. I told him, so you both had affairs and I was the collateral damage? He said he was sorry. I've lost my whole family over this. In fact, our brother was in an industrial accident about five years ago and because of this, I wasn't invited to the family funeral.
I've been through therapy, have a great husband and wonderful kids, but have always felt this abandoned feeling. At least I know I really did nothing wrong,
71. Weddings Make You Crazy
My fiancé and I are going to get married in a few months, and we've decided we don't want kids at the wedding. We've also assigned the roles that are usually performed by children to our beloved pets. My dog will be the flower girl, my fiancé’s dog will be the ring bearer, and my two cats are co-maids of honor. Our friends, my fiancé’s sister, and my brothers think this is adorable.
Alas! Our other relatives do not share this enthusiasm. His parents said they thought it was strange but accepted it because they want us to be happy. But my parents were downright horrible. They threw a fit and accused me of "placing animals above children". I calmly explained to them that this was my fiancé’s and my wedding and it really wasn't their place to decide who would be a part of it.
Our pets are well trained and well behaved, which is more than I can say about our relatives' kids. But as it happens, my parents aren't even coming to my wedding because I refused to follow a certain wedding tradition I object to—the father "giving away" the daughter. Good riddance! However, they sadly are not the only ones causing trouble.
One of the friends I've known since childhood is a mother of three and was going to be one of the bridesmaids. She was "horrified" when she learned that my dog and cats will be in the wedding party. Surely, her three ill-mannered kids should have had that honor. She threatened to not come to the wedding too. I made it easier for her by taking her name off the guest list.
Then, my cousin who has two kids told me she would bring her kids anyway. When she and her family were actually there, surely I won't be able to do anything about it. I told her I would have her, her husband, and their kids escorted out by security. That shut her up. My fiancé’s then-friend asked him to "make me" replace my dog with his daughter as the flower girl.
He was warned to never bring it up again. This wedding will be a special day for my fiancé and I and we will not let other people's entitlement ruin it.
72. We’ve Got Your Back
So my husband has been on pins and needles because he wants to tell everyone about my pregnancy. I'm eight weeks along now, and we found out when I was six weeks. We agreed that we wouldn't tell anyone until I was halfway through my second trimester. However, his mom's birthday is this Saturday and she's turning 70—they are older grandparents.
Although we got her a nice handbag that she had been hinting at for her birthday months ago, he really thought this news would make her happy and I agreed. So she took the train down with her sister, my husband’s aunt, and we’re making a long weekend of it. Also, his siblings don't live far away, so we all decided to go to a hotel for a staycation so we would be in the heart of the city.
That way, we wouldn't have to host that many guests in our large but not fully furnished condo. We were having dinner at a nice Italian restaurant and my husband tapped his glass to get everyone's attention. Then he announced our little bean’s arrival. Everyone is happy and we are all giving hugs, kisses, congratulations, good jobs etc. It turned dark out of nowhere.
Suddenly his aunt just says, “Well it's about time! The way you spend his money, you should have given him children ages ago"! So I'm about to rip this woman a new one, but my brother-in-law jumps in and says "Oh Aunt, I didn't know you were the executor over my brother’s finances"! I was happy he defended me, and you’d think this would’ve shut her up.
But no. She then says, "Well I mean she doesn't work, all she does is shop”. Side note: This aunt likes to make stuff up in her head, especially when she doesn't like someone. I jumped in and said, "I have worked every day since six months before graduating from college”. Then my husband says, "The only person who has ridiculous spending habits, aunt, is you. My wife has never spent more than she made and has always bargained shopped though she's never had to”.
He continued: “We have not had children yet because I didn't want to disrupt her education with an infant, and that was OUR decision we made together. My wife has been nothing but good, kind, faithful, and loving toward me and this family and you owe her an apology for attempting to disparage her and our relationship with your lies".
Oh man, I was walking on air at that point. But then it got even better. My wonderful mother-in-law comes in and says to her sister, "You really need to apologize to my daughter and the rest of the family because you’re projecting who you are into her. In the six years she has been a member of this family you have barely said a word to her and you choose now to say something and it be negative at that”.
The aunt has now turned six shades of red and looks more indignant than contrite. But she begrudgingly "apologizes" by saying “Well, I was not aware that you work, I guess I stand corrected”. I wasn’t going to let her get away with that. I’m super angry at this point and I tell her "That is not an apology". She says “Well that's all you’re going to get, Missy".
I said, "Then you can take yourself home or somewhere else because you will not be enjoying a hotel room that me and my husband paid for. Also, don’t think you’re going to partake in the festivities that we all planned and also paid for, not while disrespecting me at the same time". My husband backs me up with an "Exactly"!
She then says "What are you going to do, kick me out of the suite"? Everyone says in unison "Exactly"! She looks appalled and my mother-in-law says, "Aunt, apologize or leave”. She finally apologizes for real and we continue on with the dinner as if nothing happened. Today we are going to a play and then an early dinner as my mother-in-law and her sister are not a night owls.
I just want to say it feels so good to be loved, and to have family that supports and loves me. This is my first time having this, and these past six years with my in-laws and husband have been a dream. We are not perfect, but we love each other and have each other's backs. They taught me what a family really is and about loyalty. I feel so blessed.
73. Get Your Own Husband
We are a big family. Grandparents, mom, my mom’s boyfriend, my half-sister, me, and my fiancé. It’s a decent house with four bedrooms, two bathrooms, and the house belongs to my grandparents. I moved in while going to college and my fiancé joined me after we got engaged. We are going to move out next month to get our own lives started.
My mom, her boyfriend, and their daughter (who is two years old) moved in about four months ago when they sold their house. Little things have been driving me bonkers, like them not shutting cabinet doors, or my mom’s boyfriend leaves his razor out and his hair in the sink or on the counter. Their dog always gets on my bed and is always laying on me when I’m allergic. But that’s not the worst part.
My mom’s boyfriend, who is a loud and big guy, says the weirdest things. His latest thing has been teaching their daughter to address my fiancé as her husband...The first time, I laughed. But after that first time, she went back to calling my fiancé by his name, and my mom’s boyfriend corrected her, saying, “No that’s your husband”.
At that point, I kind of looked at him funny. She said, “that’s my husband”. My mom’s boyfriend corrected her a few more times and started telling her, “go get your husband, give him a hug and a kiss”. My fiancé hasn’t said anything to me because he loves her and doesn’t let her kiss him on the lips, he slides his head to the side for a cheek kiss. But, ugh.
When I said to my mom “Don’t you think that’s weird”? my mom asked me if I was jealous of my sister...Um. No? I just think this is weird! I don’t know, maybe this time with them is making me lose it, but I’m so over living with them. My fiancé and I also talked to my grandparents about it, and they also found it strange and uncomfortable, thank God.
We have decided we will, whenever they are calling him her “husband”, respond with “you love your brother, don’t you”? Since he will be her brother-in-law, after all. My fiancé said it made him uncomfortable and if this trend continues we will be more aggressive in our approach. My mom’s boyfriend can be a bit of a doofus and I don’t believe it’s anything too malicious.
I can’t believe he would be hurting his daughter or do something to harm our family. I think he doesn’t realize what he’s saying and how blatantly weird it is, considering I’m not his child. I’ve almost been considered like a sister to my mom rather than her daughter. This has made for an odd family dynamic, separating our mom and daughter bond to more of a friendship.
Still weird. Not disregarding that fact. But if he continues to be weird about it and if the rest of our family joins in, we will make our voices and opinions heard.
74. Just Let It Go
My mother is ridiculous. She sets up fake Facebook accounts with other peoples' names (like her financial advisor) in order to see if she can view my own FB page. I'm 38. When I was married a handful of years ago, she would reprimand me if I went places—the grocery store, dinner with MY friends—without my husband. My mom is VERY independent.
This is a family rumor that she denies: She somehow got through on the phone to my college's president and told him "My daughter was a good Christian girl until she went to YOUR school". I went to a Christian college, and I have no doubt that this "rumor" actually happened. She's definitely the type. When I was in high school, I was barely allowed to walk the four-six blocks to school. But there was a catch.
No one was ever allowed to use the telephone in the school office except in an emergency. Except me. Everyone in town knows my mom AND her reputation, and they bow to her whims because they pick their battles. So I was required to call my mom every morning when I arrived at school after those six blocks—I had special permission to use the phone.
One morning I forgot. She called the principal, who called over the intercom in my classroom and asked whether I was in class, because my mom was on the phone wondering if I had made it the six blocks to school. Throughout my 18 years living with my parents, I spent ONE night alone at home. I was never allowed to be alone, just truly never.
Even as a teenager, on the rare occasion that both of my parents were not home overnight, I had to have a babysitter. My mom's former best friend, who made me sleep on her neighbor's pool deck and then took photos of me in the morning as I woke up, bleary-eyed in my sleeping bag. And this woman also had an exaggerated love of clowns. Thanks mom.
Public domain pictures
75. Lies, Lies, And More Lies
I had a friend during college whose mom was overly concerned with her whereabouts constantly. I'd say it was borderline mistreatment points, and she possibly wasn't entirely mentally well. She'd randomly come and pick my friend up while we were out, and would monitor the water/gas/electricity in their house whenever she went away to try and see whether my friend had stayed out or had people over.
Her mom saw how relaxed my mom was about my life, and definitely took an immediate disliking to BOTH of us pretty early on. We once got tickets to a city music festival—you know, the ones where loads of bars and music venues across one city hold performances during the daytime. There was only one act that I reeeeeally wanted to see, and it was at the end of the night.
So I spent most of the day trawling around town, drinking and seeing the acts that my friend wanted to see. I was having a good time, but was also sort of counting down the hours until I got to see the band I'd really bought my ticket for. We were planning on meeting some of our other friends there and managed to organize it all…before my phone really annoyingly died the act before, in another venue across town.
My friend's mom (obviously) knew which acts we were planning on seeing and where they were. Bear in mind that we were adults, and that this was during the day in what was pretty much our home city. About half an hour before we were about to leave to see the band I'd essentially waited ALL DAY for, my friend's mom called her to say that she'd checked online and saw that the final venue was overcrowded.
She said that they were turning people away at the door, so she was coming to pick us up and take us home right away. I didn't question this and was meant to be staying with her family so wasn't about to turn my ride home away. I was kind of disappointed that I'd paid a fair bit of money (to me anyway) to see one of my favorite bands for the first time, and didn't even get the chance, but I'd had a good day regardless, so I wasn't totally bummed out.
Anyway, we got back to her family's house. I grabbed my phone charger and managed to restart my phone and bring it back to life. The text messages I saw infuriated me. There were a few messages from the friends we had intended to meet at the last venue, and they flashed up all at once. Apparently, the venue was hardly full at all and we'd missed out on a really good gig.
It was super weird, but I chose not to bring it up to this woman even though I was angry about not only missing out on a good gig for no reason, but also wasting all that money. It's one thing to be a helicopter parent and control everything your kids do, but doing the same thing to your adult kids' friends is just certified crazy. I do not enjoy that woman.
76. Thanks But No Thanks
My sister was friends with this girl in middle school whose mom would put her tampons in for her because she was worried she wouldn't do it right. Tampons, not pads, not that pads would have been normal either. My sister was at a sleepover and before they went to bed the girl told her mom she needed her tampon changed. The whole thing was just really bizarre all around.
77. Mommy’s Little Girl
Back in the 90s, this popular girl in grade five or so would get dropped off by her mom to school and picked up. Ok, that's normal. But several times a week her mom would drive by really slow at recess and park on a gravel road about 200m away from the playground and just sit there and watch. I'm guessing her mom didn't have a job or something, but it was super creepy.
This girl would also get constant phone calls from her mom at the office because this was before cell phones. It happened several times a week and I have no clue what her deal is.
78. I’m An Adult Now
I was going to move into a dorm with a friend, but her mother contacted the administration and insisted that she live in the same residence as the dorm minder to make sure she was doing her homework and staying away from parties. We were 20, and where we live, the drinking age is 18. So essentially, absolutely none of this woman’s business OR the dorm minder’s.
Her mother would also show up after seminars to walk her home (10 minutes away), and would contact professors to negotiate extensions and protest bad grades. There was something I didn’t know, though. I found out afterward that this girl had a pretty serious history of mental illness, so there were legitimate reasons to be concerned for her safety.
Still, I couldn't help but think a lot of her problems resulted from being told over and over again that she couldn't be trusted to stand on her own two feet.
79. Don’t Worry, Mommy’s Here
My brother was injured in a training accident in the Israeli army. It wasn't life-threatening but it was a pretty messy injury that needed immediate care. For some reason, the base commander tried to hide the injury and refused to send my brother to the hospital. Instead, he sent him to the camp medic, who took one look at my brother and said "Here, have some morphine and I'm going to call for help".
My brother asked him to call my mom. My mom, a colonel at the time, commandeered a helicopter along with a squad of men. She then flew up into Lebanon where my brother was based, landed in the middle of his base, ordered her way into the medical tent while setting the men outside as guards, loaded my brother into the chopper, and evacuated him out.
To be fair, she's a great mom who usually lets us fail on our own, but you asked for helicopter parenting examples, it doesn't get more helicopter parent than actually commandeering a helicopter to go take care of your son!
80. The Buck Stops Here
I’m usually the one running around every birthday and holiday to make sure everyone feels special and all the gifts are thoughtful. My husband, however, has a very easy ride and only has to cater for me. I have run around like a loon during this last holiday season for my parents and in-laws, food shopping, medication, hospital appointments, everything.
I’m also working full-time in a hospital. On my birthday, nobody except my husband did anything special for me, and even my adult kids had to be reminded to call me. On Valentine’s Day I bought my husband a special gift he loved. Meanwhile, I got gas station flowers. So for Easter, I sat back and did nothing. Everyone got random chocolates that my husband went to get last minute because I informed him on the Saturday I’d bought nothing and had no intention of doing so.
I cooked nothing special for Easter lunch when I usually make starters, mains, and desserts from scratch, and spent the whole day doing what I wanted to do. Everyone noticed. And they know why I did it, because my husband told them. On the Monday, my kids cleaned my house and my husband made dinner and did the washing. I think they might finally get it.
81. Don’t Tread On Me
When I was 22, my extended family, aunts, uncles, cousins, and everyone else began asking me why I wasn't married yet. I spent my childhood and early 20s in a fairly conservative North Indian state. People in those areas tend to be deeply misogynistic and the only way a woman has any value in their eyes is if she's attached to a man as his wife.
Her own accomplishments, talents, etc., are of no consequence. So it wasn't all that surprising when I began getting these ridiculous questions about marriage while I was still in college. I had also recently lost a lot of weight and for the first time I actually looked good in jeans. My weight loss seemed to cause their queries to reach whole new levels of idiocy.
You see, they all assumed that the only reason I had lost weight was so I could land a husband. Surely I hadn't done it for the sake of my own health and well-being, or because I wanted to look good for myself. That would be preposterous! This is where my troubles truly began. My aunt was friends with a busybody "matchmaker".
Matchmakers in India are these middle-aged women who have nothing better to do than to go around carrying photographs and information about "eligible" bachelors and bachelorettes. They then share them with the families of young men and women who are looking to marry them off. My aunt's friend was no different. She showed my aunt a picture some guy in his late 20s.
He also "had a great job and was from a respectable family". Let's call this guy Ajay. My aunt shared the picture and the information with my grandmother, who is also an awful person. Between the two of them, they decided that Ajay, whom I had never met before, would be the perfect match for me. Keep in mind that neither I nor my dad had any inkling of what was going on.
One afternoon, I think it was a Sunday, total chaos broke out. My aunt came over when I wasn't home. She told my dad to "get his daughter dressed up and pretty" because she had promised me to a guy and his parents were coming over to see me that very evening. The tone in which she spoke made it sound like she had done me and my dad a big favor.
My dad was shocked and asked what the heck she was talking about. She told him she had taken it upon herself to find a groom for me (without my knowledge or consent) and "taken some of the burden off his shoulders". She said that their mother (my grandmother) had approved of the match, too. My dad told her he would have to speak to me first.
He also made it clear that whether the guy's parents can come over or not depends on what I have to say about this. The little witch actually tried to convince my dad that my consent wasn't necessary and that as elders, they had every right to make this decision for me. But my dad wasn't having it. When I came home a few hours later, my aunt greeted me with a hug.
This was enough to send red flags flying everywhere. I asked her what was going on and she gleefully told me what she had done and how her proposition had my grandmother's blessings. I told her to shove it and that I was in no mood to have an arranged marriage—not then, not ever. She looked shocked and asked how I could say such a thing after all the trouble she's been through in order to find "such a wonderful young man" for me. So I decided to get dirty.
I told her if the "wonderful young man" is making her so happy, why doesn't she go marry him? My dad heard this and told me to watch myself. I told him I would if this witch knew her place and knew not to poke her nose where it doesn't belong. Meanwhile, my grandmother had heard the commotion from her room and called out to my dad.
She began telling him about how she had seen the guy's picture and the matchmaker had told them all about his family. She said how a match like this may not come along again. My dad told her that he would never force his daughter to marry if she doesn't want to. My stepmom said the same. I merely told her she was insane and belongs in a lunatic asylum.
This of course, caused both my grandmother and my crazy aunt to fake cry and go on and on about how my dad doesn't trust them to make the right decision for his daughter, and that they were family and family has the right to make decisions for each other. I wasn't going to budge, however. I told them I wasn't going to meet the guy or his parents and that my aunt better cancel the meeting if she knows what's good for her.
My aunt left our house grumbling. But the drama was far from over. My grandmother, in order to emotionally blackmail my dad into agreeing to the match, stopped eating. Anytime food was brought to her, she would break into crocodile tears and whine about how my dad was dishonoring her wishes. As she was diabetic, her health began to deteriorate.
My dad was scared. One evening, he and my stepmom sat me down and asked if I would consider the proposal and just have a meeting with Ajay's family. I was still adamant and said no. My aunt came over again and said she had great news, as Ajay's parents were still interested in meeting me and they would allow me to study and have a career after I married their son.
I asked her what part of the word "NO" did she not understand the last time we spoke and who the heck do Ajay's parents think they are to "allow" me to do anything? My aunt once again flew into an impotent rage and asked how I could be so selfish. How I could disobey my family like this and some other garbage about how marriage is a union between families and not just individuals.
She also talked about how in her days, girls were married off as soon as they reached adulthood whether they liked it or not. I let her go on for some time as her little hissy fit was quite amusing to me. After she and exhausted herself, I told her that if she, grandmother, or even my parents try to force me into this marriage, I was going to harm myself.
And if I survived, officers would know that I did it because I was being forced to marry against my will and all involved would be in a world of trouble. Even if I perished, I would leave behind enough evidence in the form of emails to all my friends and college professors detailing how I was being mentally tormented so I could be forced into this marriage.
Both outcomes would result in all of them in deep trouble. But I was just getting warmed up. I even showed them the email I had already written, all I had to do was send it. And if any of them even think of locking me up and taking away my phone, laptop, etc, they should remember that my vocal cords still work and I would gather the entire neighborhood with my screams.
As I spoke, my aunt's eyes kept getting wider and wider. She was in shock, but she knew me well enough to know that I was very capable of doing all of this. She left quietly. Grandmother must have heard every word, because her hunger strike came to an end. My aunt never tried to look for a match for me again. Later, my dad told me that he was only asking me to think about the match and that he would never force me to do something I didn't want to do.
I told him I knew that and assured him that my threats were only meant to scare my aunt. And they worked.
82. To What Do We Owe The Displeasure?
My husband and I have been married 10+ years now but don't have kids. His family is overseas, and he was sent to the US at age 14 to attend school because his family is pretty wealthy—oil business, film stars, and politicians. Not Crazy Rich Asians level, but certainly a far cry from my own working-poor background. Over the years, we discussed moving back, but the big roadblock is his crazy family.
Some of the stuff they've done over the years include: Guilting us for money so his older brother (who has three kids, two servants, and never held a job) could go on a vacation. Making us cancel a trip to an island because his mother wanted to “surprise” me with a trip to the orphanage to hold babies...because I didn't hold my niece enough, which means I hate kids.
I should mention I've worked in childcare for five years...but they don't know what I do for a living. They threw us a "wedding" that we didn't ask for, mostly to drum up support for their political campaigns. They then insisted on getting us rings that don't fit and making my dress, which also didn't fit. My auntie is a seamstress and told me the measurements I sent were fine.
However, my mother-in-law insisted that I couldn't be that skinny and my sausage American fingers were definitely not a size 4 for the ring. They also told my husband to divorce me because I refused to wear that hideous dress she wanted me to wear. Really guys, it was an awful, tight, heavy-fabric dress that was so narrow that I couldn't walk in it.
They love constantly guilting us with memes and sayings about "give all you have to your parents" and "heaven is at the feet of the mother" then outright telling us that we "owe" them money because they raised my husband and sent him to school. I'm thinking, why the heck did you have kids then? Last I checked, sending your kid to school is raising your kids!
Recently, my husband got a raise and foolishly tells them, thinking they might just MAYBE say something like "we're proud of you". But no. Just "Okay, you owe us $1,000 a month now to payback living expenses”. What the heck. I should mention that this family has $$$ and my husband—having grown up with their brainwashing—has been doggedly insistent that we NEVER seek help from them, even if it means sleeping on the streets.
Now I understand why. He's always "in their debt".
83. They (Don’t) Grow Up So Fast
I knew a mother who kept her five-year-old daughter in diapers. And not for any understandable reason, no. Her motives were ridiculous. It was because when they went out of the house, she didn't want her using public restrooms. Because the girl sitting in her own excrement was much better for her health, apparently.
84. The Odd Woman Out
I have been with my boyfriend for a number of years now. When my parents found out, I was screamed at, pushed, and told I was disowned for my choices. They told me my boyfriend would mistreat me and “don’t come crawling back when he hurts you”. Anyway, years later things are great with him and my parents are seemingly realizing they might’ve messed up.
Everyone wants to rug sweep and play happy family with some texts and phone calls. Recently I graduated from a year-long master’s program. It was incredibly hard, I excelled and should do well in my new field. My parents told me it was a bad investment and have not supported me in any way including financially (not that I expected it).
They knew when I was graduating and never expressed any interest in coming. Interestingly enough, they were in my state house-hunting but only stayed the weekend. I didn’t remind them of my graduation date (having already told them). But then they outdid even themselves. They invited me to lunch which would’ve been a 5-HOUR ROUND TRIP for me.
They have never come to visit me. I didn’t go as I still had finals to submit. So graduation goes off without a hitch! Beautiful, I’m so excited…until I get a text from mom. She knows I graduated, which is not a secret. She then mentions all the social media photos—which actually is weird that she even saw them, because she blocked me before. This is what she texts me.
“Listen, Congratulations on graduating. I think that’s wonderful. I’m just letting you know the lack of respect you and your sister have for your father is unbelievable. You both continuously just hurt this poor man. It’s really sad. The things he’s done for you both growing up and the continuous lack of respect you both show him as adults is beyond me”.
“I would never treat my parent with such disrespect. I feel really sad for him. This has nothing to do with me because I let go a long time ago and I could have a cordial relationship with both of you. But that man gave you life and gave up a lot for both of you when you were younger. Just wanted to remind you of that. Again congratulations yes. We saw all the pictures from everyone who sent them to us today”.
Excuse me, YOU KNEW.
85. Somebody Call Pest Control
My dad wanted me to make a music video for him for free, as I work in the film industry. My parents have always been indifferent about my career. However my littlest brother—who is the golden child of the family—now wants to be an actor, and suddenly they are highly invested. OH BOY. So my dad found an opportunity for a "family commercial" for a local news station.
He then volunteered the whole family for it without asking us first. Oh, but it gets so much more outrageous. It’s an extermination commercial, and it would require dressing up in a full insect costume. I said no thanks. Dad was mad because they were "counting on me".
I stuck with my previous answer. A few days later Dad texted again saying the producer had "asked for me specifically” (ha, yeah right) and would I let him know soon what I had decided? What the heck?? I already decided. Why are you pretending that I haven't? 12 hours later he texted again saying "I feel hurt when you don't respond" and "Am I expecting too much? Would you prefer I not reach out so often"?
Ugh, so manipulative to send a I-guess-you-don’t-love-me-anymore text. I composed maybe the most confrontational text I've ever sent him, saying: "I already gave you guys my answer. I said no thanks and that hasn't magically changed. I'm frustrated that you seem to think that I haven't made a decision unless it’s the one you want me to make".
He waited a couple of hours (oh irony) and then responded "I don't care what decision you make... I remain hurt, but willing to bother you less". ARGGGGGH. Way to twist my words dude. I never said "stop bothering me" I said, "respect when I say no". And now the whole family is irritated that I won't just "be invested in the family" and dress up like an ant.
My life is so weird.
86. Cheaters Never Prosper
My wife, being a teacher, had to deal with helicopter parents on a regular basis. Usually, she would have that parent do menial tasks so they would not bother the class. But with one parent she had to take drastic measures.
This parent became so overbearing—doing things like demanding to see lesson plans or making my wife take class time to re-explain subjects—that she had to take matters into her own hands.
One day while the parent was in the classroom, she deliberately left an upcoming quiz out for the parent to see. This parent took the quiz and slipped her kid the answers. Knowing the kid was not a good student, my wife got the parent to fess up to taking the test and passing the answers.
This went to the principal, and he banned her from the class. The parent made multiple complaints, even going to a district meeting. The school board held up the ban.
87. My Precious
The kid I know with a helicopter mom is about nine years old, so like 3rd grade. I’ve known him since before he started school. His mom is an acquaintance of mine and the kid himself has had classes with one of my kids who is the same age. She has forced herself into every activity and classroom that he's ever been in. She starts off volunteering in the classroom normally.
Most teachers ask for a few hours one or two days a week, just to help in our school. But little by little she shows up more often whether the teacher asked her to or not. Some teachers have told her to stop, but others just let it happen. She basically spends every day all day with him and never gives him any space. She hovers over everything he does and if it's not perfect she "fixes" it.
I’m pretty sure she's done his homework herself several times. Sometimes the teachers will send home an art project as homework, like a pumpkin to decorate in the fall or whatever, and his always looks like an adult did it alone. She never lets him face any uncomfortable situations or adversity. She got actually mad when one day she said to the 1st-grade teacher, "He woke up in a sad mood today".
The teacher answered, "I'll keep an eye on him, but I think he'll be okay". This was infuriating to her, to the point where she vented to me about it. I had to ask her "But was he okay though?"... Yeah. He was. What was she expecting, you ask? She wanted the teacher to make a big fuss over him and give him special attention. She felt that the teacher didn't care because she didn't fall all over herself to coddle him.
88. Travel Far Away From That Man
I have just realized how much my husband doesn't have my back and I'm at a loss for words. The issue occurs whenever I recount my life story to anyone and mention that I lived in three countries. My husband has been triggered by this lately and tells me that "this is not impressive and it's not that many places" and "you think it makes you better than everyone else”.
I currently live abroad again, in HIS home country where he spent his life and I previously lived for a year, and he has also told me "Just tell people where you're from and that you lived where you're from, you don't have to tell them anything else". What?
So he wants me to hide facts about my life? He is offended that I love my life. However, he tells me that my history is not impressive and when he sees anyone who responds to it with interest, he tells me that I embellished the experience (not true either, I tell true stories and I love to share). Weeks ago, he also told me that "someone who lived in 30 countries is impressive and your history is not".
By the way, we live in his home country because he didn't want to leave it, and he never lived abroad himself. Also, I don't know anyone who actually lived in as many as 30 countries but if I did, I would be impressed. I recently told one of his family members about living abroad and my husband entered the conversation to tell him that I didn't live where we currently are, in their home country, "for that long".
I'm coming up on three years here and lived here previously for a year with my family (moved back to get married) but I never said it was longer than that. I later told him he entered that conversation to try and undermine me, as if I were some liar. He said he just wanted to tell the guy that it hasn't been that long. And then he told me that I should "get real about your life experience" and "someone should put you in your place when you talk about your life".
I am not speaking to him this morning. The sight of him disgusts me. I told him last night that he didn't put me in my place but lost my respect. I can't even believe he attacks me in such a childish way. I just don't understand this, and why this is a trigger. I asked him what the problem was last night and he says I think it makes me better than everyone else.
I never said that, I don't school people on where they should live, I love people's stories about studying or living abroad and traveling, and I have the right to love whatever I want about my life and share it with people, especially when it doesn't hurt or embarrass him. I just have no words.
89. Congrats, It’s A Meddling Mother-In-Law!
My mother-in-law just sent us a box…full of baby stuff. I was confused and so was my husband. And then we read the note and I nearly screamed. It said, “for my future granddaughter”. We are NOT pregnant right now, but she is desperate for a girl. She HAD to send that, knowing full well my sister-in-law ain’t giving her any grandbabies and she “only” has two grandsons from myself and my husband.
I was so angry she wasted this baby stuff on a nonexistent granddaughter, what does she expect? For us to be like “Oh we have baby clothes now time to make a baby”! Also, is she not considering the fact that there’s a 50/50 chance of any baby being a girl or boy? Honey, you have two grandsons, be happy with them because they’re the only grandkids you’ll ever have.
Imagine how the boys feel knowing that their grandma keeps wanting a granddaughter and not them? It sucks. Luckily one of our friends is expecting a girl in August so we donated all that stuff to her. My husband later told her, “Thanks for the baby stuff! [Friend] will be thankful for this”. She then got angry we were “destroying” her nonexistent granddaughter.
90. On To Bigger And Better Things
I met my ex-fiancée after my best friend introduced us when I was 13. My ex and I hit it off instantly and became inseparable. About a year later my parents passed in a car accident. I didn't want my grandparents to put their life on hold, so I decided to get myself emancipated. I got a job selling my art and was doing well and still ended up graduating top of the class.
My ex, best friend and I decided to get a place together to save on college expenses. When I was 20 years old, I proposed to my ex, and shortly after we found out she was pregnant. We decided to keep the kid. After my daughter was born, it all went off the rails. My ex became more distant and spent less time with our daughter, and I later found out she dropped out of college.
She started partying more. At one point, I thought she was getting better but she just hid it better. One day I came back from a doctor's appointment for my daughter…and that was the last thing I remember. My best friend later told me the horrible truth. She told me that there was an “incident”, to put it lightly. My ex had been cheating on me and the guy showed up at my place and chaos broke loose.
He ended up shooting me a few times. My ex decided that she was more worried about getting her illicit substances out of the apartment before the authorities came. She never came back. My best friend found me on the ground with my daughter crying her eyes out in my arms. She took my daughter next door while she called the authorities.
I was in a coma for about for about two weeks. When I woke up, she told me my daughter is fine and my grandparents are taking care of her. I instantly started crying while she was holding me. The guy ended up going to behind bars and my ex got charged with child neglect and possession. While behind bars, she signed away her rights to my daughter.
To this day I still can't remember what happened. During the trial, the guy said the only reason I was alive is that his gun jammed. I had to learn how to walk again and move my right arm. There were sometimes I just wanted to give up. Just one thing kept me going. My physical therapist told me once "just imagine the look on your daughter's face when you're able to walk to her and pick her up".
I honestly don't think I would've made it through physical therapy if I didn't have my daughter and my best friend. The first time I walked without help I gave my best friend the biggest hug ever and thanked her for everything. My best friend and I grew closer because of the whole ordeal, and we now have a baby boy and she is my fiancée.
Weirdly I'm kind of grateful for what happened to me. I'd never felt this kind of love with my ex as I do with my now-fiancée, and I also found my new passion in life as a physical therapist—I’m currently going to school for it. So now to the present day. My cousin called me up and said he wanted to talk to me. We met at a coffee shop, but the instant I walked in I knew something was up.
He didn't even say hi, he just asked where my daughter was. I told him she's with her mother (my current fiancée) and brother. I never encouraged her to call my fiancée “mom” but the moment she did and I saw the look on her face I knew that I had to marry this incredible woman. The instant I said that, my ex rounded the corner.
She said that she's the mother and that no one else can be called that. I lost it on both of them and yelled that she gave up that right the moment she left her daughter next to me while I was dying so she could hide her stash. I left shortly after that. My cousin called the next day to say sorry about ambushing me like that. And then he dropped another stunner on me.
He said the main reason he asked me there was to let me know he's dating my ex and wanted to bring her to my wedding. I told him that I'm glad he found love after his divorce, but she's not coming and she's not going to see my daughter. It ended in another argument, and I told him that he's no longer my best man. I hung up and blocked him for the moment.
Now, most of my relatives that I don’t really talk to are calling me a jerk for what I did. I honestly don’t think that I am a jerk, but I’m starting to second guess myself. My fiancée said that she will support me no matter what decision I make, even if that means calling off the wedding to deal with the drama. God, I love this woman. I'm definitely not calling off the wedding.
I really want my cousin to come to my wedding because he helped me out a lot after my parents passed and he has always been there for me and my daughter.
91. Mommy Dearest
I dated a guy for just shy of four years but ended it because his mother REFUSED to let us have a future together. His mother was basically his owner. She told him where he was allowed to go, what he could spend his own money on, and who he was allowed to see. The dude was 32 when we started dating, by the way. I was his "rebel phase."
He managed to carve out four hours a day, once a week, to see me (and it was always at my house). He insisted, during that whole time, to get pizza delivered, and always got a separate pizza to take home for his mom. The guy despised pizza and would force down half a slice, but his mom wanted it, so that's what we had.
I met his mother once, about a year in. He invited maybe eight people around for a D&D night and he tried to sneak me past her. I ended up bumping into her later in the night and introduced myself. Her reply shook me to my core. I went to shake her hand and just she stared at it, grunted in disgust, and left the room.
As cliché as it sounds, I really did think he was my soulmate, so I put up with it. We'd talk on Skype every day and text each other constantly, so I guess I'd convinced myself that things would eventually get better. The final straw was when I ended up in hospital. I called him in pain and asked him to come down since I was really scared.
He told me he couldn't because he needed to take his mom to her bridge club.
92. Simply Shameless
If you have ever seen the show Shameless, his family could have inspired that show. Man, where do I start...So, he was my first love—we were 15 when we started dating. He had two older brothers who were complete wastes of space. Neither of them had a job and or any intention of getting one, yet they were both in their 20s.
Their mom worked at a school, but it was a rough place. The dad was eerily quiet and worked for a phone company. Both of them were separated and would not speak to each other at all unless they were drinking, which happened every weekend. I often used to stay over on Fridays as he lived near my place of work and I usually had early weekend shifts.
Every Friday night, the brothers would invite their friends over to drink and play video games. The dad would go out with his brother and return extremely out of it, which would always end up in a fight somehow. It would usually be enough to wake me, but I’d just go back to sleep. Then, Saturday night would come and everything would go downhill...
The mom and two brothers would go to the local working man’s club. It was some bizarre family night activity they did every week. They would get in their cups and return home at around 1 am in a state. I’m talking kick-the-front-door-because-we’ve-forgotten-the-key kind of shenanigans. The eldest brother was a nasty drinker and would usually end up starting a fight with someone—either in the house or in the street.
The dad would then get out of bed and they’d all end up arguing. Things would get smashed. The middle brother would come and wake my boyfriend up as they couldn’t sort it out themselves. He would sometimes go downstairs and try to settle things down, and other times he’d tell them to get lost. If he didn’t go down, they would keep coming into the room and try to drag him into it.
One time, the eldest brother came upstairs and pulled me out of bed by my hair. He claimed he thought it was my boyfriend and it was dark. I don’t know how many statements I had to give to the authorities about the domestic violence in that house. At some point, I was on a first-name basis with several officers...it was embarrassing. The older brother, in particular, was straight-up bloodcurdling.
One day, my boyfriend and I were getting it on in the bedroom. Afterward, I went to put on a T-shirt before I went to sleep, and when I opened the closet door, I found his older brother in there. He’d been watching us the whole time. He said he’d only meant to scare us, but yeah right. It makes me think this wasn’t the first time either...
I felt so sorry for my boyfriend because he really wasn’t like them at all. He was so different, but his family was trash. At the same time, I could kind of see he just was never going to get away from them. He didn’t have their anger but he had no ambition. He was at college, but he put no effort in and he didn’t want to do really anything with his life.
I wanted to go to university and make something of my life. I tried so much to motivate him, but he just didn’t have it. I tried for three years, then I realized I had to walk away.
93. Do What You Love
The family’s actions were 90% of the reason for the breakup. I was a high achiever in high school and college. I was at a top 20 university majoring in STEM and was one of the best in my class. Everyone, including my girlfriend and her parents, thought I was going to get some super high-paying job because of my major.
However, I really wanted to be a public school teacher. My dream has always been to run a school one day. When I told my girlfriend that, there were a lot of tears. Her parents fully expected her to become a stay-at-home mom. They acted like I was throwing my life away. Her dad spoke to me one-on-one and told me I could never propose until I was "financially stable," even though I had been working for two years, paying for everything for both me and my girlfriend, had no debt, and was still saving $1,000 a month.
When my girlfriend talked about spending an extra semester in grad school, her mom said openly, "We're not a bank; we can't always support you and your boyfriend obviously can't either." There were also a lot of texts from the mom to my girlfriend about "rose-colored glasses. "He makes you happy now, but when push comes to shove, he won't be able to be there for you."
For years, after making the decision to become a teacher, her parents would ask me, "Oh, so when are you going to get a real job?" or "When are you headed back for grad school?" That one was especially silly since I already had a master's degree. It got to the point that I started applying to jobs in my STEM field. I actually had two offers that would double my salary.
Ultimately, I decided I'd rather keep doing what I loved than be with someone I loved. Recently, I was told by a mutual friend that the mom said, "Thank God they broke up. He had such potential but just no work ethic."
94. Money Matters
My ex-husband. His whole family had such a different concept of money and work compared to me. They were constantly living above their means and buying ridiculous things. Then, when something important came along, they had to scramble and borrow. For example, one time his mother borrowed cash from me, a teacher, even though she lived abroad in a fancy penthouse with a pool.
She told me she’d deposit it in her father’s account and I could get it from him. When I asked him, though, he said that she took it back. We’re talking about like $100 here. I was just baffled. I thought my ex was different...until he blew $3,000 of our wedding gift money on a trip he took without me.
He just said that it was no big deal and that he’d put it back someday. That was the last straw.
95. Ticky Tacky Goes To Town
Yesterday was my mom's funeral. She passed a week before her 50th birthday after a very long battle with different illnesses over the last 15 years. It was incredibly hard, especially for me, my little sister, and my grandma (her mom). I come from a very large extended family on both my mom's dad and mom's side. She also had a million and one friends and neighbors.
They all told us they were coming to her funeral, so we expected a large crowd. My grandma has two brothers. One of them I adore (nice uncle, also my mom's godfather), the other can sit on a cactus (smells musty and is generally rude with a witch of a wife). The one I adore stayed with us, the other one stayed in a hotel. The awful one is married to the great aunt, who is the star of this story.
I will refer to her as "Tacky” because after yesterday that’s the impression she left. I dreaded seeing this woman at the funeral, so much so it was taking away from my ability to comfortably visit with everyone else because I was so anxious for her arrival. I have always hated Tacky due to the fact she's always been tacky, in ways that have sometimes made my jaw drop.
She brags about living off the government, has to tell you how much money her jewelry costs (it's Pandora, nothing fancy), asked nice uncle's gay son if he has AIDS and that's why he's thin, put a label on my great-grandma's jewelry so we'll know what she wants to get when my great-grandma passes (she is still alive and well!), tries to hug everything with a pulse, smells like flowery old person, and is generally a huge witch.
My mother also hated this woman so I felt no regrets about being a witch to her right back yesterday.
Yesterday morning, my grandma, nice uncle and his family, another aunt who stayed with my grandma during the last week, my little sister, my boyfriend, and myself all arrive at the church an hour before visitation to finish setting up. We have a huge flood of guests during the hour-long visitation, and thankfully Tacky and crew don't arrive until about 10 minutes before the ceremony starts.
So, Tacky waltzes in. When I look at her, I can’t help but get furious. She’s wearing a purple t-shirt, white cargo shorts, and a sparkly belt. TO A FUNERAL. Strike 1. Then she came over to my sister, my best friend, my boyfriend, and me, and tries to hug me. I say "No thank you, I'm feeling overwhelmed". She tried anyway. I again said, "Why don't you go find my grandma or something?"
And she goes "NO HUNNY GIVE ME A HUG". So I start walking away with my pals, she follows, and eventually we lose her in this massive crowd. Strike 2. THEN we need to go inside the worship center where the ceremony is being held. As per funeral etiquette, the immediate family is to be seated in the front-most row. My grandma reserved the pew for herself, my sister, my boyfriend, and myself.
Tacky comes up and tries sitting down in that row. I said, "Oh no sorry you need to find another pew, this is ours”. Once more, her behavior stunned me. She says, "SHUT UP THIS IS FOR IMMEDIATE FAMILY". Yeah witch, not you! I tell her, "You aren't immediate family, move". After staring at me and realizing I'm not kidding, she sits behind me and tries to play with my hair.
I smacked her hand and said stop touching me and inched to the front of the pew. I didn't even care how rude it may have come off to people who don't know the dynamic. She has always been a Tacky jerk with no social awareness, so she can screw right off with her jerk of a husband. Strike 3. It annoyed us so badly that on the drive to bring my sister back to our dad's house later that day it was all we could talk about.
96. Where There’s A Will…
My grandfather left a $20 million portfolio when he passed. He lived in a one-bedroom condo that was built in the 1950s, drove a rusted-out Honda, and his entire wardrobe was over 10 years old and came from Walmart. At the reading of his will, a bunch of distant relatives showed up hoping to get something. I couldn’t believe it when we read it.
First, he ended up roasting them all in his will. Then after he made fun of all of them, he spent 10 pages detailing all of the charities and foundations he was leaving his money to. Some of the info was really surprising, as nobody besides him knew that he casually owned 160 acres of forest in Vermont. The land was donated to a land trust and turned into hiking trails.
97. Dad Checks Up On Daughter
When I was 20 years old my brother let me know that I was adopted. Everyone in the family—I'm the youngest of five—knew and kept it a secret. It turns out my mom and birth mom are distant cousins. My birth dad was in a biker gang and he and my mom both had addiction problems and had absolutely no clue how to care for a baby.
After I found this out, I saw some pictures of my birth dad, I was shocked. Turns out I recognized him. He was a regular in the restaurant I worked at the year before I found out about being adopted. He was always very kind to me and told me he knew some of my distant family but left it at that. It turns out he wasn’t there for the food, he just wanted to see who his daughter was and know that I was turning out ok.
98. To The Bitter End
My parents had a very difficult marriage. They married in the 50s, and my mom was mostly Catholic so divorce, while often discussed, was never actually accomplished. They fought, sometimes physically, and he was often and very publicly unfaithful to her. After they both passed, I was sorting through some of her things.
I found this fancy Mother's Day card, which my father had given her. He even wrote a short affectionate message, which was very unlike him. It was dated when I, their only child, was two. My father had actually worked for a greeting card company, so it was elaborate with its own little box. Then I looked underneath it, and my heart broke for my mother.
There was a letter dated around the same time. It had been read and reread so many times, folded and refolded so many times, that it was literally falling apart, and I almost couldn't decipher it. It was from a would-be lover of my mother's deep in discussions of how she could leave my father just begging her to do it.
I put it back where my mother hid it. I had a lot of thoughts about it, but I knew it was probably a rewarding jolt that my mother got from hiding a love letter behind one of my father's bombastic and totally foolish attempts to hide what a jerk he was.
99. Change The Name
My ex stalked me for five years. She would make fake social media profiles to try to follow me, which I would block endlessly, and she would try to find where I worked so she could talk to me. But that's just the tip of the iceberg. This lady cheated on me with seven different men in the two months after we were married. I kicked her butt to the curb and made her sign the court papers.
When we had our day in court she cried in the judge's office while I just wanted to get this stuff over with. After, my dad was with me and dealt her one final blow: He threw 50 dollars at her and told her to, "Change your last name." Good thing to do as she deserved it. I haven't seen or heard from her in about five years now. Thank goodness.
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100. Thou Shall Not Covet
This incident happened exactly one year ago today. My wife and I are in therapy, not so much because of issues we have in our marriage but because both of us have horrible families, and neither of us until meeting our therapist had strong spines about it. We are very low contact with my mother-in-law. She more sucks than is horrible but she also has some substance issues she’s dealing with, namely an addiction to pain medication.
Anyway, let’s go back a year and a few days. My wife is due any second with our first child. So the plan was to have both sets of parents at the hospital after the baby arrived and my wife and I had time to bond. Her parents accepted that, my dad who is an enabler was okay with that, but my mom was not. She demanded she be at the hospital earlier, and we told her no, she had to wait.
Finally, she said OK after she saw we weren’t budging. So the baby was born. It’s a boy, and we hadn’t found out so it was a big surprise. Anyway, both sets of parents come, everything’s good. Until suddenly, it took a dark turn. My wife was getting tired so I walk my parents out; hers had already gone home. My dad went out to get the car while I waited by the front door with my mom.
She then turns to me and says that my dad and her are filing for custody of the baby. Before I can speak, she claims my wife is on substances like her mom (my wife doesn’t even drink) and that she saw how my wife was around the baby and she fears for his safety. I’m stunned. My dad pulls up and she gets in and leaves. I go back upstairs and my wife sees my face and knows something is up.
I really don’t want to tell her but I’m not going to lie to her, either. She’s as upset as I am, so I text my mom that she’s not to contact us anymore. I then block her number. At this point, my younger sister is blowing my phone up and I know it’s my mom. We go home the next day, and my wife had tearing and therefore needs medication.
She refuses pain medications because of her family history but says she will take Advil. So I go get some things at CVS, she and baby are sleeping (him in his cot) at home. I’m in line getting us dinner when my wife calls me sobbing. She woke up and there’s no baby. I run home and we are both a mess at this time. Then my neighbor comes over and asks what’s going on.
She sees me running like my feet are on fire, so I tell her. She tells me, “Wait, so your parents weren’t supposed to take the baby?” Yep, my mom came and kidnapped my baby. I immediately call the sheriff’s office, since my best friend is a deputy there. As soon as I tell him and his partner what happened, they head to get our baby.
Turns out my dad wasn’t involved in the actual kidnapping, although I’m sure he knew about it. My mom knew at the time where we kept a spare key and let herself in. We went all the way and pressed charges. According to my friend, they had a nursery waiting at their house. Our baby was returned to us. My mom was sentenced, but because of her standing in the community she was only given a slap on the wrist.
However, the negative attention she got after that event spurred her and my dad to move. Thankfully, my sister turned 18 before then and she stayed with us a few months before going a few states away to school. For a long time, both my mom and my dad were radio silent. However, my mom has tried to reach out in the last few months.
Thankfully we’ve learned from this. We now have cameras, a security system, and no spare key outside. Our neighbor, who is now a great friend, has our spare. We are three months along with our second child, and I’m hoping my mom doesn’t find out about it until long after.
