Keeping secrets can tear you up inside, especially when you're keeping them from the person you're supposed to love the most. Sometimes, you just need to get it off your chest—and that's where we come in. Whether they kept secrets or uncovered them, these spouses had to reveal the truth to someone.
1. Who’s Your Daddy?
My daughter isn't mine. My fiancée went away for a mud run the weekend "my" daughter was conceived. I took the baby to get a DNA test one day when my fiancée was at work and I was at home with the baby. Sure enough, just like on Maury, I was NOT the father. I went to a doctor and it turns out I am sterile. I can't tell anyone because I love the little girl like she's my own, but it hurts when people comment on how much "she looks like her mom" but never how much she looks like me.
I could never bring myself to say anything to her though because I don't want to NOT be in the little girl's life. As far as she knows, I am her father and she loves me unconditionally. I can't ruin that—so I have to keep my secret forever.
2. Down The Rabbit Hole
My husband had a whole other identity and persona online that he used to date women, take them to five-star hotels, vacations, etc. Meanwhile, I was wearing jeans and shirts with holes in them, and the same shoes for years, and had an “allowance” of 100 a week to buy everything I needed for our son, cats and I. But he would spend a whole month of my allowance on a single night in a hotel with these women.
It was heartbreaking to discover the truth. I truly loved him with all my heart and had been there with him since he was just new at his job and not making that much. We built a life together. We got married. I had his child. Unfortunately, that is when the nightmare started.
It took me a long time to discover just how deep the rabbit hole went. Even now, years later, I still get this weird feeling in my throat when I think of all the lies and how this person I had built up in my mind didn’t even really exist. I actually didn’t know him at all.
3. We Were On A Break
About three and a half years ago, I thought my then-on-and-off boyfriend of five years and I were going to break up. In that time, I met up with my married ex-boyfriend who I thought was getting divorced (he'd just learned his wife cheated on him) and just so happened to hook up in his car. The ex later admitted that he'd planned it—I naively thought we were just going out for drinks and to chat, well, maybe fool around a bit, but I wasn't planning to hook up with him.
It happened anyway, but I didn't feel as bad as I could because I thought my boyfriend and I would be breaking up soon anyway. Since I thought my on-and-off-again boyfriend and I were breaking up, I told a bunch of people I banged my ex. But then, married ex-boyfriend conveniently decided that secretly screwing me in his car was enough revenge and he didn't need that divorce after all, and soon stopped talking to me again. But that was just the start of the nightmare.
After I realized the ex wasn't leaving wifeypoo after all, I became TERRIFIED that my boyfriend would find out I hooked up with my ex. Suddenly, staying with him became all-important. A couple years later, formerly on-and-off-boyfriend and I got married...Most of the wedding party (both his friends and mine) knew I'd cheated years before, but no one said anything to my husband.
I worry myself sick that he'll find out. Some of my friends have said that it was years ago and that they think my husband wouldn't be that upset if he found out now, but I think the fatal combo of (1) the ex in question (it's a guy I've always been borderline obsessed with), (2) that I kept the secret for so long and (3) that so many people know would throw my husband over the edge. I assume that if he ever finds out, the marriage is over...but I suspect that many people can't keep a secret forever.
Sooner or later, someone's going to say something, it's just a question of when. And the darkest secret of all? In hopes it'll entice my husband into sticking around, I cook him amazing meals and get intimate whenever he wants to (including catering to any kinky whim, no matter how not into it I am). He thinks I'm just a good wife...I'm actually just waiting for him to find out and get ready to dump me.
4. Just A Friend With Benefits
Around a week after I met my current SO, I got a message from my old on-and-off friend with benefits: “Wanna grab a quick drink?” I knew what he really meant (“dtf?”) and I wasn't sure whether I was up for that. At this time, my current SO and I hadn't known each other that long and had only been on one or two dates.
We weren't exclusive, hadn't done any of the fooling around. I also wasn't looking for anything serious—in the autumn, I would be moving out of the country; I didn't really want to get too attached, and I saw our relationship pretty much as a fun summer fling. When we weren't hooking up, my FWB and I are fairly good friends.
I convinced myself there was nothing wrong in going, because I could just catch up with him and leave it at that. What's the harm in that? I knew I was fooling myself—but I didn't know how much I'd regret it. When we met up, he (my FWB) noticed I was a bit more reserved than usual, and I ended up telling him I was kind of dating someone. That's cool, he says, no pressure; we'll just have a drink and a chat, and then go our own separate ways.
Needless to say, that's not all what actually happened. Even though I know my SO and I hadn't agreed to be exclusive at the time, looking back on it, I feel kind of terrible. We ended up falling hard for each other, and I think it'd kinda break his heart if he knew. Nobody else knows, and I doubt that he'll ever find out but...but I'm just kicking myself internally for letting myself screw up the beginning of our otherwise wonderful relationship.
5. A Fake Hero
I got divorced in October after nine years of marriage. Yesterday, I was going through some things and found his DD-214. Apparently he failed out of boot camp and was never awarded any medals, ribbons or other awards. Why is this shocking you are probably wondering? Because the whole nine years we were married, he told me all about the horrors from his deployment…
According to him, he’d watched some of his friends horrifically pass from IEDs and been terribly injured himself. There were many, many stories that I now know were 100% fictional. I’m so mad that I just feel numb about it and I don’t even know how to feel……
6. Missed Connections
Before met my wife, I was with a girl for something like eight years. I was certain we were going to marry and be together forever. But for some reason, I just felt like we weren't going to be able to make it work out with our lives going separate ways (with a job, college, and the long distance). I wanted it to, but I ended it because I thought it'd be best for us both.
It worked out well for both of us in that we did succeed more in life. But there's a dark secret hanging over both of us. My ex just got married a few weeks ago to second-place. I call him second-place because that's what he is, and she and I both know it. Prior to her getting married, we professed to each other that we still loved each other after I had a fight with my girlfriend.
My ex said (after getting married) that if I had asked for her back just then, she would have come running. I didn't, because I wanted to have integrity and not break up her relationship nor mine. I just wanted to make things work for everyone. It was the easiest way for all involved. My girlfriend and I’s fight has really put a wedge in our relationship for me, emotionally.
I'm not able to connect with her anywhere near where I was before. I feel like she's only a friend these days. I still feel that way was best, but every day I think about her and every day I know that if we found ourselves single again, we'd be back together. We were perfect for each other...the timing and distance just got in the way.
If my wife knew this, she'd probably stab me in the face.
7. My Little Pony, My Not So Little Secret
This is a throwaway because I'm not comfortable letting thousands of strangers on the Internet know this with my main account...even though they already do. I write My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic fanfiction. Specifically, shipping stories. For those of you unfamiliar with the terminology, shipping involves taking two (or more) characters and putting them in a romantic relationship.
So, I write about the love lives of pastel cartoon ponies. My longest (and by far most popular) story is over 170,000 words. That’s right, over 170,000 words of ponies confessing feelings for one another and going through all of the trials and tribulations of dating. My wife doesn't know about this, nor does anyone that I know in real life.
There are only two people that I actually talk to on Skype on any sort of regular basis who know, and I only know them because they're authors as well.
8. My Fault
This isn't necessarily relationship-ending, but it's something that I think about almost on a daily basis. I met my wife when we were both sophomores in college. The night we met I knew I had very strong feelings for her. She was the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen, and I was pretty intimidated by her. We met at a bar that night and went back to her house with mutual friends (her roommate and my buddy).
I didn't try to pursue her strongly that night because I didn't want to push her away if I struck out. She lived in a house with six girls and this guy calls asking for directions (I thought to meet one of her roommates). I gave the guy directions to the house before I left with my buddy for the night. I didn't realize it, but I'd made a horrible mistake. Turns out, the guy was a creep from the bar and that had been trying to hook up with my now wife.
She thought I was going to do what most guys would've done—give him wrong/bad directions so he wouldn't show up. He ends up coming into the house and finding my wife in bed asleep. She woke up to him forcing himself on her. Because of me. And that's the story of how I met my wife. It haunts me almost every day.
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9. Secret Father
I've fathered two children for my first love who is now a lesbian and someone else's wife. We're planning a third child. I meet them at a hotel where I leave my specimen for them to use in a home kit type thing. It has worked well so far, but I haven't told anyone. I get updates and photos and sometimes get to see them. I used to feel guilty, but now I'm quite comfortable with this situation.
10. Sleepy Dog
My girlfriend bought the cutest corgi puppy. Once while she was at work, it was late, and I was preoccupied watching television while this puppy was just doing puppy things in the same room. I took a melatonin capsule to start winding down for bed. I failed to notice where I left the bottle. Time passed, and I eventually looked back at the puppy and saw a bottle chewed up.
I panicked knowing it was the melatonin bottle. I quickly grab it and realized it was empty. I saw the corgi just laying on his stomach watching me. I quickly Googled to see if this was dangerous for dogs, and in general, the results showed that it would be okay as long as it wasn’t the whole bottle. But, it actually nearly was the whole bottle.
For some dumb reason, I kept to myself, hoping nothing bad would happen. I told myself if he got sick by the time she got home, I’d come clean, and we’d do something about it. But, if he survives, then it never happened. The whole night he was just lethargic. I remember waking up in the middle of the night to my girlfriend coddling him like a baby standing up, while his sleepy eyes caught glances at me. My heart sank.
I just prayed he’d be okay. I asked her what was wrong, and she said, “He’s just restless". She was totally unaware of anything that had happened. To this day, she never found out, but our beautiful dog is alive and well. I know it was super irresponsible, and honestly one of the dumbest things that I did. I love our dog so much, and from that day, I told myself never again would I be careless with him.
11. Lighting Up
My wife and I started dating when we were in high school. One time, I was going back from her house late at night and my father-in-law offered to walk me to the bus stop. He casually lit up a cig and even offered me one (but, I declined). A couple of days later, my then-girlfriend told me a beautiful story about when she was a little kid. That's when my heart dropped.
She had asked her father to please stop smoking and he did because he loved her so much. I weighed my options for 0.8 seconds and decided it was not worth calling him out or crushing the image she had of him. I never even considered blackmailing him. Sadly, he passed a few years ago of unrelated issues. And I think I'm going to take this one to my grave.
Telling on him would serve no purpose. And I'm 100% sure that this man loved his daughter very much, and proved it in other ways.
12. She Wants To Be Your Girlfriend
I try not to hide anything from him, but I can never come out and say that I don't like his best friend, who is also a woman. I know that she has feelings for him, but he will never realize it. Everyone can see it but him...and that kills me. He has many other friends that are women, and I've never minded that. It’s a problem.
13. My Fair Lady
I just started dating a sweet, intelligent, hilarious, super-dorky guy. He is Christian and (I think) quite conservative. His family is quite traditional too. He held on to his virginity for a while and is definitely not the kind of guy who sleeps around. He is perfect for me in every way. I don't want to screw this up.
I have no idea how to tell him I worked as a street walker for a while, and it's not something I can keep from him with a clear conscience if this goes anywhere. Pretty sure it could completely change his view on me.
14. Two Extra
I really hate his kids. He has two from a previous relationship and we have one together. It is to the point where I wish he did not have full custody so we can raise our son alone. His daughter is 17 and his son is 14. His daughter is the nastiest person ever. She hardly showers or changes clothes. She steals my underwear and ruins them.
You know it is bad when you get them from the laundry and the crotch is black and stiff (after they have been through the wash). My boyfriend, his mother, and I have tried talking to her about it but nothing changes. We have to yell at her to keep her bedroom door closed because the stank is so bad. His son is just annoying. He is not mature for his age.
He still watches WWE (which is not a huge issue) but watches it while playing with action figures. The way he talks is like talking to a 5-year-old. I have tried to build a relationship with them but nothing has worked. I can only hope that as soon as they turn 18 they move out.
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15. Only The Nose Knows
I am heavily addicted to snorting drugs. When we first met, she found out, but at the time she was just a friend of a friend, I didn’t care how she felt about it. After a month or so we bumped into each other, and I asked her out. One of the first things she asked me on our first date was if I was sober or not. I lied and said I was clean.
We've been together for about nine months now and I've been using for three years. The main reason she wants me clean is because she doesn't want to find me in a ditch one day. She even kicked a pill popping friend out of her house when she offered me some. I love her and I don't want to lose her, and I should get clean for my own good but I just can't stop
16. Thou Art A Fraud
He claimed to be an artist and claimed to admire the old Art Nouveau movement and the Golden Age of illustration, as did I. He didn’t like to doodle nor paint with me, but enjoyed criticizing my realistic but stylistic pencil and charcoal drawings. He tatted himself and gave a lot of people "original" tats he claimed were all his design. I recognized one tat but couldn't place it at the time.
Then, when I was busy moving him to help make a happy living situation for us, and he wasn't lifting a finger, I discovered all of his "artwork" on tracing paper and magazine clippings in his strange cabinet stuffed in his closet. So much of my heart just crumbled that day.
17. Double Life
When my husband passed in a workplace accident, he was in another state. When I got his belongings, I discovered his secret. There were answering machine messages from a woman thanking him for being so amazing, and for dinner, etc. Then on his computer, I found emails and text messages from several women. I was pregnant and dealing with grief already. Then suddenly, I had this anger at him that I could obviously do nothing with.
Everyone told me you can't be mad at a deceased person. But it was confusing.
18. Secret Kids
I have at least three other kids, being happily raised by other men. And they’re all in Texas, somehow, some way. They also all have white parents, and I guess the dads just accept that they had a tanner, dark-haired kid. I’m native, with a hint of Boer (African and Dutch multigenerational mix), lighter skin, but the nose and eyes, etc. are there.
None of them were cheating or anything, I just so happened to have mutual agreement breakups with three different girls who ended up being pregnant and just never had any problems. I’m still very active friends with two, and greatly respect the other. I helped start a youth-focused church with one of them when we were 19! She’s just a very moral and admirable, nice person.
I found out on social media twice, just seeing their kid grow up over the years and said to myself, “Wow, that looks like me… oh, that’s why he popped out seven months after they met each other… huh". It’s nice to see happy healthy families like that though. They’re all wonderful women and I’m sure make excellent mothers. I’m sure they made great choices in fathers as well.
Maybe none of them saw me as any kind of father, just a couple years of casual fun. I get it, no hard feelings. But, yeah, that’s not ever coming up with my wife. I forget about it most of the time.
19. Trapped
I feel trapped and as though I have no say in my life. We got pregnant in college and I did not want to keep the baby. My partner wanted to keep it, so we had the baby. If we were going to have the baby, I wanted to live with them, but they did not want to live together unless we were married. I did not want to get married, but we did anyway.
One of my lifelong dreams was to get a doctorate degree, but I was told no. I wanted to move out of state to get away from my horrible family, but was told no. When they said they wanted another baby and I said I did not, we fought and argued until I gave in and now we have another child. Sometimes I feel like I'm going crazy, too.
We argue about things and my partner would tell me that I said something that I don’t remember saying or that it didn't happen that way. I feel like I'm going crazy. I've started writing down conversations because, at this point, I have no idea if I'm losing my memory from a concussion I had a couple of years ago or if they don't remember what really happened either.
I feel like I have no control over my life and I’m just being told to do things. The homework is split with them doing more than me, as I work full time. But, they tell me all the time about how I don’t do anything around the house. I feel so trapped and depressed I just want to run away but can't do that to my children.
20. Monsters-In-Law
I hate visiting his family, or when they come to visit. I hate it so freaking much. I know that it doesn't seem like that big of a deal, but he loves his family, and they come up here a lot. When we go to visit for holidays, I just want to scream. I often will make up work excuses to not do things when they visit, but when we visit, I have no escape.
His father is a complete jerk, who has never accepted the fact that his son is marrying a man and treats me like a woman. My fiancé comes from a very traditional family. I get left behind with his sister and mother and his brother's wives/girlfriends all the time. I'm supposed to do Black Friday shopping with them. I'm supposed to wrap gifts with them. I'm so bad at wrapping gifts.
At holidays, I get relegated to all the "womanly" tasks. I'm left to do the cooking or expected to bring something already made. I'm expected to gossip with them. But I can't cook. I CAN'T COOK—like at all. His mom treats me the same way. My fiancé doesn't notice, and I could never tell him that I freaking hate his parents.
I'm going to be real here and forgive all the generalizations and assigning of gender roles, but his family depends on them, so for people who survive on maintaining gender roles: I'M NOT EVEN THAT GAY. I don't have a lisp, I've never cared about dressing well, and I don't mince. No, I don't hunt, no, I don't eat meat, yes, I have liberal-leaning opinions.
But for goodness sake, I'm a professional carpenter. Yes, I build scenery for theatre, but dang it, I get paid to weld on a daily basis. I have more carpentry experience than three generations of his family combined. I come home every day and I'm covered in sawdust and dirt. Forgive my masculinity assertion, but seriously. I'm tired of his family lumping me in with the hens just 'cause I'm gay.
21. Questionable Past
I was good friends with my now-wife for four or five years before we eventually got together and fell in love. Back when we were friends, though, I was a pretty heavy user and hid it from most of my friends and family as best I could. We've discussed this generally, but I don't think she realizes the extent to which I was ruining my life back then.
It's still hard for me to talk about. The stuff I did still haunts me. I took money from my parents without their permission, there were repercussions with my job, etc. I'm lucky I never got into serious trouble. Honestly, things turned around when I started dating her because it inspired me to get my life together and I had something to really live for. I've said to her once or twice that getting with her probably "saved my life," but I'm generally very sarcastic and she thought I was being facetious.
I'd like to open up and be more honest about that time in my life, but there's still a lot of guilt and trauma buried inside me and I clam up anytime I think about talking about it.
22. Town Clown
My late husband was a clown, loved clowns, and went to clown gatherings. I played along and smiled and laughed and thought he was eccentric. He was the thing I loved most so I just HAD to lie to him. I HATED clowns. It was my biggest secret. We had been together for 10 years before getting married and as we were beginning to plan our wedding, he seriously suggested that we have a zombie clown-themed wedding. I've never been so horrified.
Absolutely not, that was where the clown stuff needed to not overlap into my life. After a short time, we were able to come to an agreement on the theme. Unfortunately, about three months after we married, he was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer and passed within six weeks. While he was sick and in hospice, I hired an artist friend to paint a portrait of my husband in his clown makeup and the painting arrived the evening before he passed and he got to see it. I’d do anything to have my clown back now.
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23. But Does She Know That He Knows?
I constantly check up on her texts and social media. I don't swipe her phone and read her stuff, but I check the bill to see who she's texting with, and when. I also found her private blog. When something is bugging her, she'll post sad gifs and quotes there. She doesn't know that I know about it, but I check it all the time, even when it's been months since her last update.
Earlier in our relationship, she was texting frequently with a dude out of state, and I think they got pretty serious. I was being a distant, incommunicable idiot, so I don't really blame her too much. Since working that stuff out, we've been great—but I keep tabs on who she's texting to make sure the dude respects her decision to work things out with me.
She used that blog to post a lot of crap about him, so I think she'd be pretty upset to know that I've seen it all.
24. Guardian Brother
About eight years ago I discovered my wife's sister's reddit account accidentally. It was a variation of a username she'd used for AIM before, but with different numbers and no underscore (the numbers were a significant date to her though). There were too many coincidences in her posts for it not to be her. She was posting on the relationship advice subreddit. When I saw her posts, it broke my heart.
Her (now ex-) husband was abusive. We'd known something was off about him but couldn't really put our finger on it. I created another account that I only accessed from incognito mode to send her encouragement to leave, and to ask her family or friends (but kinda steered her towards us) for help. She didn't want to impose or be a burden on any of them (we'd just had a kid, and I make a bunch of money but we live well within our means so you wouldn't think this based on appearances, so it was an understandable concern).
I slowly, over several weeks and several different posts she made, convinced her that it's possible her family realizes something isn't quite right and would not consider it a burden to help her out. After their divorce I deleted that account. Nobody will ever know that the random internet stranger who was weirdly persistent in encouraging my sister-in-lw to reach out to her family for help and leave her abusive marriage was actually me.
25. Cue The Compliment
When my girlfriend and I go out to eat at a restaurant, they will sometimes let us order food through our phones at the table. I'll insist on ordering because it lets me write in their "special instructions" box. I typically request that they compliment her outfit. Honestly, I think I get just as much enjoyment seeing her reaction. I can never let her know.
26. Karmic Crash
Okay hear me out, I NEVER go through my significant other’s phone. I haven't before this and I won’t in the future. Okay, so, rewind back to 2011. I’m fresh out of high school and dating the girl of my dreams. We're hanging at her house, just chillin’ and passing time, and while she's in the shower, she gets a text. No biggie, happens all the time. But another comes through…and then another. All in rapid succession.
So maybe it's serious, I look at her phone and the name is "Matt”. My heart drops. Matt was her most recent ex. Still, I’m an idiot and think, okay, maybe something happened with his family, they're close.
I open her phone and I see, "Cool, I didn't want X coming anyway”. And sure enough, I see, "I'm gonna tell him the beach trip got called off. We're leaving in like an hour and he'll go home”.
Oh. Oh okay, I see how it is. So, she gets out of the shower and I just hold up the texts. Of course, her first go-to was, "How dare you look at my phone etc etc etc”. But here's the kicker. She still went and tried to sleep with Matt. However, during the trip, she hit bad storms and crashed her car off a very tall off-ramp. She and her friends are all lucky to be alive. But what did they do?
They called me and blamed it on me and my "bad vibes”. Meanwhile, I was asleep on my couch, high as heck, watching Inception. Nice try Ashley, karma was looking out for you and your terrible friends.
27. Feeling Not So Hot
That I feel really, really unattractive and I'm also sure I have an eating disorder. I feel like I can't control myself and I've been trying harder and harder to not eat at all. I can't even go a full day without binging on something. I use a lot of his behaviors to feed into my low self-esteem. He unintentionally puts me down in the worst ways.
For example, when he's always with his face in the phone, "liking" scantily clad, perfectly beautiful models on Instagram. Or, every time an attractive woman comes on television or walks by, he's always saying how "fine" they are. Or, when he sees a woman with a certain hobby, he says how attractive it is that she's into that.
He doesn't say those things about me. I don't share their body types. I'm overweight, probably due to my daily binges on unhealthy foods that I'm trying desperately to control. I also don't share the hobbies he finds so attractive, though I do have hobbies of my own. I don't say anything to him because I don't want him to feel like it's his fault that I've got whatever mental issues I have.
I don't want him to feel like he can't express himself, but every day, I'm falling apart a little more and what did I do about it this morning? I ate a huge piece of cake to make myself feel better. I'm disgusting.
28. The Cat’s Out Of The Bag
My wife's very much a cat person. Once, she picked me up from a friend's house and was driving through town when a cat ran in front of us. We heard a thud underneath the car, she screamed and looked in the rear-view mirror and we saw the cat stagger into a driveway. She was very upset and was convinced it wasn't going to make it.
I told her that the cat clearly ran across the street and is probably fine! She was meeting some friends and I was taking the car home, so she asked if I would check the driveway on my way home to make sure the cat was okay. I said I would. I drove back that way and parked a few houses down and looked in the driveways and there it was...but it didn't look good.
It was lying motionless on the ground. Part of me was thinking I should just go home and say I saw the cat alive, but curiosity got the better of me. I wanted to check to make sure it was still living. The problem was it was a gated house that was also a B&B, so I didn't want to just wander in on someone else’s property. So, I rang the phone number on the sign at the side of the road!
By this stage, I'm thinking that I should have been home long ago, but I was on autopilot and just went with it. The owner answers and I tell him there's a possibly dead cat in his driveway, and asked if I could go in just to check if it’s okay. The guy gives me permission to enter the yard. I told myself that I’m in too far now and have to do it.
I let myself in and walked over and there she is, a big dead cat. Oh no. Well, I thought I’d just tell my wife the cat wasn't there and we can forget about the whole thing. But, the problem was that the owner knows there could be a cat on his property, and when he gets home and sees it lying there, he's got my number and will know I just left it there.
So, I had to decide what to do with the cat. Across the street was a store, so I walked over, bought bags and rubber gloves, made my way back over, and scooped the fluffy corpse into a bag. Then, I walked over to my car carrying this black bag. People are walking past me on the street, smiling, but I'm not fully into it because they don't know what’s in the bag I'm holding.
I don't feel like taking it into my car. So, I Googled vets and there happened to be one not too far away, walking distance. I called and asked them if they dispose of deceased pets and they said they do. So, I made my way down there and told the receptionist that I was just talking to them about pet disposal. She looks at me slightly freaked and nods.
I produced the bag and tell her I have a cat in here. She said to leave it at the back door outside, and charges me 50 quid for the pleasure. I walked back to the car, and sat there for at least half an hour, in silence, trying to process the last hour of my life. I texted my wife and said, “No honey, couldn't find the cat, she must be fine and ran off somewhere safe, see you at home".
29. Scared Of Myself
My girlfriend, soon-to-be fiancé, has no idea of my extreme mental health struggle in the past, how I used to be medicated and even checked myself into a hospital when I was extremely suicidal from said medications. I’ve since been fine and haven’t had an issue of anxiety or depression in years BUT it still hurts me knowing my brain could be so dark.
When she talks about depression or anxiety she just doesn’t understand because she’s never had to deal with it. So, I’ve kept it to myself to not put my old burden on her. Maybe one day I’ll bring it up.
30. Lost, Not Found
There is something I worry about my husband and kids finding. I was very mentally unwell about seven years ago and was convinced I was going to die.
So, I wrote my husband and children each a letter telling them how much I loved them and a few of my crazy ramblings, (I also thought I could time travel at the time so I can guarantee something about that is probably in there) and then I hid them. But here’s the kicker.
I was disassociating the entire time and my memory of that time is so foggy, I have no idea where I hid them. I’ve searched and I can't find them anywhere.
31. Near-Death Experience
After we were first married, we wanted to buy a house. She was in grad school and I had a public service job. To allow us to afford our first home, I took a job working on offshore rigs. It paid great. I always told her not to worry about me (this was about two months before the horizon disaster). While I was out there, I realized just how horrifying the job really was.
100 miles from shore, there were two fires, one person crushed by a crane, a fatal electrocution, and a high-pressure pipe explosion. One fire was 50 feet from my bunk and I was in the room with the electrocution. Turns out people can pop with enough direct current. I never told her about any of that and don’t think I ever will.
32. Doggone It
I didn’t actually find our dog, lost and alone, in a parking lot. I actually paid $70 to a couple smack addicts for her. He didn’t want a dog, and I knew these people wouldn’t take care of her. So, I made up a sob story that she had no one else and I just convinced him she should stay, rather than me finding her another home. He absolutely loves the little maniac now.
33. Wedding Blues
I really didn't like our wedding. He loved our wedding and often brags about how close to perfect it was, better than he ever thought, etc. He cherishes that memory, but I had a pretty terrible time. Part of it was because I had to put so much of it together, my friends and I, and he just showed up and enjoyed the party.
I ran every decision by him, of course, like what to eat or what kind of officiant to get, but when it came to ordering the food and finding and hiring the officiant, it was all me. I couldn't really enjoy it the same way because I felt so responsible for everything going OK and people enjoying it. But the biggest part of the issue is that I just remember it as a lonely experience.
It was very small as we wanted it, with just each of us having our four closest friends. But all my friends were locals I see all the time, and they were mostly preoccupied with entertaining their kids and otherwise enjoying themselves at just another event I hosted. He had his friends come in from all over the country, even one from Europe, and it was such a big happy reunion for him.
As I remember it, almost nobody talked to me at the wedding. Although I am sure there was more than I remember, I know nobody gave any toasts. I don't recall anyone even saying something as simple and acknowledging as "congratulations" or "what a lovely ceremony." And I definitely remember being bored out of my mind.
At one point the officiant (who stuck around for part of the reception), whom we barely knew, looked over at me alone and broke away from his conversations to come over to me just to make some idle conversation and keep me company. I also remember standing there looking at my phone, checking some sports scores, just to keep myself entertained and look like I had something to do. Looking back, it was absolutely horrible.
I would have loved it if we could have had a wedding that was an order of magnitude bigger so that I could have my friends and relatives who I haven't seen in ages and only get to see when we have excuses for events like that. I bragged about our $200 food bill for the whole event, having a friend take all the pictures, and my $50 dress, but I hate the thought now of how cheap and throw away our wedding kind of was.
What really drove it home for me was that a couple who came to our wedding got married about a year later with a very similar affair (though bigger). She even wore a dress similar to mine, and she said our wedding was an inspiration for her. That made me feel better about our wedding. I knew they were having another wedding later in the year where she lived, for her friends and relatives, and I assumed that would be a smaller event just to include those folks.
Later, I saw on Facebook that it was a real-deal beautiful wedding, with dancing, attendants, professional photographs, her looking utterly stunning in a gorgeous full-length gown, and dozens of amazing pictures. So, our wedding was the template for their "forget about it" wedding. She didn't even post any pictures of the smaller wedding at all. That's the part that really hurt.
I know people love small, inexpensive weddings here, and the idea is that anything else cheapens the love the event is meant to celebrate. But maybe, for some people, something can be too simple, too small, and maybe even too "intimate." I wanted to celebrate with my extended family and friends; not every single bloody one of them, but maybe 20 of them. I reduced the whole thing so much to its essence that it didn't feel like much of anything at all.
I don't want to spoil the wonderful memory for my husband, particularly since I labored so hard to make exactly that for him.
34. Spy Games
I used his Apple Watch to snoop on his conversations between him and his ex and saw some pretty frustrating things. This hasn't been the first time, and I've used it to snoop on him and a co-worker he was talking to while we were together. I had suspicions about it, and it turns out there was some slight emotional cheating on his part. I never told him the things I saw.
It was hard to be honest about that.
35. Losing My Religion
I am no longer a Christian. I had been struggling with my beliefs for a while and decided to live my life like God doesn't exist and see what happened. My mental health immediately got better. I was no longer anxious and depressed because I wasn't meeting the moral standards put on me by Christianity. But, I can never tell my partner.
Our shared faith was the whole basis of our relationship. I proposed after a bible study we both went to. I don't want to share anymore because if they saw this they would probably figure it out. But, I have basically resigned myself to pretending to still believe for the rest of my life.
36. I Don’t Like My Friends
I know a long-term acquaintance who has cheated on his girlfriend of 5+ years. It's a shame he told me, because now I can't go out to meetups without feeling guilty and disgusted when I see her with him still. He's a piece of crap and doesn't deserve her, but she seemed like the type of person who would forgive his misdeeds after over five years of being with him. It's tearing me up inside.
I don't have an SO, but if I had one that looked and was fun like her, I wouldn't cheat on her...or anyone for that matter, it's not right to do stuff like that just to "see if you still got it" or some screwed up reason like that, there's no excuse for it. Break up with her after that, you jerk. Then again, I'm a bigger jerk for not telling her, but I'm sure she'll find out soon enough from someone else.
37. High School Drama
We both went to a relatively small high school (120 people in our class), and everybody knew everybody. She had a little crush on me freshman year, but I literally didn't even know she existed. My first memory of ever seeing her was sophomore year in math class and I remember thinking "Who is that girl? Is she new or is she just an upper-classman?"
I feel bad because I think I knew everybody in our freshman class except her. We ended up dating the summer after high school and four years later we're engaged so I don't think she can get too mad at me, but I'll still never tell her this because it might hurt her feelings a little bit.
38. Urine Trouble
My ex-girlfriend had a few too many shots at a party and passed out on the couch. When I went to check her, I noticed she peed all over the couch. To avoid embarrassment, I filled up a bucket with water and threw it over her to disguise it as a prank (I'm that kind of boyfriend). To this day, she still has no idea.
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39. Cat-tastrophe
Several years ago one of our outside barn cats went missing, my wife's favorite. She was pretty upset. I had actually found the cat that morning. I discovered, to my horror, what had actually happened to it. The facts and circumstances leading to his demise would upset her tremendously. She still thinks to this day the cat was taken by a rogue coyote or something
In reality, she had incidentally backed over it in the darkness of morning when leaving for work. I've never been able to bring myself to tell her and never will. I felt awful for her. I even feel awful telling the internet about it now and it's been years!
40. Ex Friends
My girl’s friends didn’t show up for her surprise birthday party, because they wanted to punish her for being late to one of their parties, years before. They told me they "didn’t have time to plan." They knew 4-5 MONTHS ahead of schedule, in a group chat that was made to plan the party itself; then they added, "Besides she was late to xxx party getting her nails done."
Karen, please, you let my girlfriend know about the party 2 days beforehand. She only knows whatever they told her. I can't be the one to tell her that her friends are that malicious and petty.
41. My Mama Don’t Like You And She Likes Everyone
My mom hated my ex (lets just call her Sarah) for how bad she hurt me when we broke up. My mom passed on about a week after seeing Sarah at the mall, and she gave Sarah dirty looks and a cold shoulder. Sarah and I saw each other soon after my mom passed, and she broke down and told me that based on their recent encounter, she was sure my mom hated her.
I lied to her and said, “No, she was just really sick at the end. She didn’t hate you.” Sarah and I are still good friends to this day, and I will never tell her the truth that my mom hated her guts.
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42. Long Hair, Don’t Care
This started a few weeks ago. While cleaning the bathroom, I found a number of long hair strands over my bathroom wall by the shower. This is odd for two crucial reasons. Not only does my husband not have hair (he’s bald), I also wear a very cropped, short hairstyle. So it’s impossible for the strands I found to belong to either me or my husband.
Confused, I washed them away but couldn’t stop thinking about it. I decided not to mention it but kept looking out for them. There seems to be a pattern that there are hairs appearing when I’m either at work or out for a longer time period. I feel like I’m going crazy and feel like I shouldn’t just immediately go to the idea that my husband is cheating on me with a longer-haired woman.
I asked my husband about it and he just shrugged, which makes me more paranoid as surely this is something that’s strange, so why is he so blasé about it? I’m starting to think he’s playing it down to stop me from finding out the truth. It happened again two days ago and I asked my husband again. He dismissed it, but this time admitted it’s strange but told me the only explanation is that they must be my hairs.
They are not and after saying so, now he’ll just ignore me if I bring it up. I don’t want to assume my husband is cheating on me and accuse him of such over something so ridiculous, but I’m driving myself into the ground trying to work out how the hairs have got there without my husband dismissing it as nothing. But then I just figured it out.
I ultimately decided against getting a secret camera set up because ironically enough, I didn't want to betray my partner's trust, but I did plan to leave work early, which is something I've never done before. My boss allowed me to leave after a half-day. Upon returning home, nothing seemed amiss. I was expecting another car on the drive or parked outside on the street.
There was no other car I didn't recognise. Quietly letting myself in, I was immediately confused. In the hallway, there was a pair of shoes I didn't recognise, and not only that, they looked like men's shoes. I was standing in the hallway trying to work out what to do; I didn’t know if I should sneak around or make my presence known.
Before I could decide, my husband walked out of the kitchen with two cups of tea. By my husband's face, it was obvious he was surprised to see me. Playing along with naïveté, I asked my husband how he could have known I was coming home early to make me tea? Expecting my husband to lie, he surprised me by sitting me down and explaining everything.
Recently, his friend—someone I'm not all that close with because we only met once—was evicted, lost his job, and had been couch surfing. So for some days over the past couple of weeks, this guy has been traveling to our house, and with the acceptance of my husband, using our bathroom to freshen up to attend interviews.
He was also borrowing shirts and suits from my husband. As it turns out, my husband's friend has long hair and a beard. So it turns out my husband isn't cheating on me but was hiding the fact his long-haired friend was coming over to use our shower. After his shower, I ended up meeting "Dave," and he turned out to be a very nice guy just down on his luck.
I wished him the best and he went on his way. I asked my husband why he didn't just tell me, as I wouldn't have had a problem with it. He was worried about my reaction and me not liking his friend or approving of the situation. He also told me Dave was very embarrassed about the whole situation and didn't want people to know what he was having to do.
I told my husband I was starting to believe he was cheating and he was shocked, having not even considered those implications while attempting to cover for his friend. I told him this whole thing was ridiculous and even suggested his friend live with us until he's back on his feet. Funnily enough, my worst-case scenario was either a homeless man or woman living in my walls and sneakily using the shower.
And though this seems to be half the case, I'm glad it wasn't a stranger .
43. Mr. Roboto
My husband and I have been married for six years. We have two kids and I’m pregnant with a third. My husband works from 9-5, comes home, does his chores, plays with our two kids, talks to me for a little bit, and then goes to sleep. But he doesn’t seem to enjoy doing any of it. Like this whole thing is one big chore. It’s like he’s turned into a robot.
He used to be this goofy guy who smiled and told jokes all the time, but I haven’t seen the man smile in months. It’s not like he’s neglecting his duties as a husband and father, but he acts like it’s just that, duties. Like hanging with the kids and me is a second job. I’m grateful for all he’s doing, and he makes all of our lives sooo much easier, but it’s like he’s constantly on the clock and I think he might be depressed.
I tried asking him if he was doing ok and he tells me he’s doing “fantastic,” but I know he’s not. That’s the line he uses at work when customers try to make small talk and ask how he’s doing. He doesn’t take any time for himself. He doesn’t take any breaks; he stopped playing games and stopped watching TV. He just does what I feel he thinks needs to be done and I don’t know how to help him out.
Our bedroom life has become one sided. We do it frequently, but only because I initiate frequently. Even if he doesn’t seem in the mood, he’ll do it. Like it’s his responsibility to “make me happy.” It feels like he isn’t there in the moment, like his mind is wandering the whole time we’re intimate and that, to me, feels worse than getting rejected.
I don’t know what’s going on, and I don’t know how to help because he won’t let me in. To anybody else he seems fine, but I know something is wrong and I don’t know how to fix this. I miss my husband, the guy who complained and told jokes. Not this robotic shell that looks like him. It’s clear to me now that my husband is overworked and “burnt out.”
So tonight, my husband came home at around 6 o’clock, and after he had something to eat I took him to the bedroom to talk. It was a revelation. I sat him down on the bed and told him I was worried about him. When I finished my piece he starting crying, like full-on crying. In all the years that I have known this man, I had never seen a tear roll down his eye.
I held him for a few minutes until he could recompose himself, and he told me everything. He told me that the world was in a bad place right now, and that we’re bringing a child into a stressful time. He said when I became pregnant, he felt he had to step up. He needed to take care of things because it was his responsibility.
He said that the weight of carrying the family was so much harder than he anticipated so he thought if he “doubled down” he could get through it. But the more he tried, the “darker the tunnel got” and eventually he couldn’t see an end. He said that he feels like he’s “constantly drowning, and the only breath of fresh air is on the car ride between home and work.” But that wasn’t all.
He said that sometimes the stress is so much that he throws up, but doesn’t tell anyone and instead keeps going with his day. He then pulled out a pack of gum from his pocket and said, “this was for when it happens.” I asked him why he couldn’t tell me any of this, and he said he didn’t want to “burden me with the truth.”
He said that he thought if he told me everything, that I would stop seeing him as a “protector and provider,” and that I would inevitably stop loving him. Hearing him say that brought tears to my eyes. I didn’t know where he got the notion I would feel that way. I asked him if he wanted to quit his job, but surprisingly he said the job doesn’t bother him.
He said the work in and of itself was fine. It’s just now he feels an added weight to provide. He said that some days he feels like packing a suitcase and running to some tropical island for a week and not telling anyone. But then he feels guilty and doubles down even more. I told him that maybe he should go on a trip.
I said that he deserved a break, and maybe if he did exactly that, he’d feel better. He tried to protest, but I insisted. In the end, he said that he’ll only go if we go together. Like a romantic getaway between spouses. Before the baby is due, he wants to take a week off from work, drop the kids off at Grandma’s house, and have us go on a vacation.
Just the two of us, like we used to when we first got married. He also said he wants to take the day off tomorrow and just sleep in, so that’s the plan. I’ll call his boss tomorrow and say that he’s sick and can’t come in. Right now, he’s playing with the kids and it doesn’t feel like he’s doing one of his chores. He actually seems to be enjoying himself.
For the first time in months I don’t see the robot, I see my husband.
44. Ring Her Up
God this is a doozy. I swear my life feels like a movie right now. I am planning on proposing to my girlfriend of three years. Now, I suck at picking out jewelry. I’m the type of guy who doesn't see a problem with heart-shaped jewelry (seriously why is it considered so ugly?), so every time I want to buy something for my girl, I usually consult one of our mutual friends.
My girl's best friends are all friends with me as well and we all get along well, so asking them for help picking out jewelry is something I'm used to. When it came time to pick out a ring, I consulted my girlfriend’s best friend Justine. Justine and I are quite close and she knows my girlfriend better than anyone, including me.
So, when my girlfriend went out to visit her sister and baby nephew, I invited Justine over to the house to help pick out a ring. Justine and I looked through a few catalogs but decided it would be better to go to professionals at a jewelry store. However, I didn't know when my girlfriend would be coming home, so Justine and I thought of a clever text to gauge how much time we had.
I asked her when she'd be coming home, as I was ordering takeout and wanted to know when to tell them to have the food ready by. Her text back chilled me to the bone. She responded by saying it would be a few hours, since she met up with Justine to go shopping. I showed Justine the text, and she looked as confused as I was.
It isn't out of the ordinary for my girlfriend to meet up with people out of the blue like that for shopping, lunch, etc. She's a very spontaneous person and loves making plans on the fly. So ordinarily, I would have believed this text in a heartbeat. However, obviously this had to be a lie. When she came home she acted completely normal, and I played along, but it's been really hard to act like everything's fine.
We got takeout, ate together, and cuddled on the couch after. So far, she's caught on a little that something upset me, but I just can't tell her what. Looking at her hurts me. I don't know what to do. My girlfriend and I have zero trust issues and we tell each other everything, so this lie was ruining me. Eventually, I decided to confront her.
I decided to be honest. I basically just said that I knew we'd been thinking about marriage and she probably knew a proposal was coming soon, so I invited Justine over to help me find her the perfect ring, and that so happened to be the day that she said she was going to see her, so...what's the deal? She immediately started grinning like an idiot and prodding me about proposing and the ring.
Then we got back onto the topic of where she was, and she confessed what she was really doing. No, she wasn't cheating, and no, she wasn't picking out a ring for me. So, some people are dog people and some people are cat people. Well, me, I'm a snake person. I grew up with snakes my whole life. But I never felt I was able to get one because my girlfriend has always been uneasy about living with a snake, which I completely respected.
Also, the process of buying and raising a snake is very different than that of buying and raising a dog or cat. It's quite complicated. So you could imagine my surprise when my girlfriend showed me a picture of her holding the cutest Kenyan sand boa I have EVER SEEN! Needless to say, my girlfriend was going to surprise me with a snake!
We're picking her up next week.
45. Biggest Fear
I am terrified that my partner will die because I know I am not really a functional adult outside of my work. I am good for playing with the kids, bringing in a decent income, and making food. However, the idea of single parenting and taking care of everything fills me with an existential dread, which I have a hard time describing.
46. A Cliffhanger
My girlfriend is completely crazy but mostly in a good way. Spontaneous is an understatement. Sometimes she goes too far, but I love her for her crazy personality. I am more relaxed and we balance each other out. Two recent incidents really freaked me out though. I was driving on the highway with a lot of traffic. We were going maybe 40 mph.
She suddenly started tickling me and wouldn't stop when I yelled at her. I jammed on the brakes and someone almost hit us from behind. I asked her what the heck is wrong with her, but she just laughed about it and told me to chill. I said, "What would make you want to do that?" and she said "I don’t know, just felt like it."
Then last Saturday, I was hiking with her and I was standing near this steep cliff. I'm usually wary of her because you never know what she's going to do even though it's usually just a prank or something. I let my guard down and she went behind me and pushed me towards the cliff and I swear I almost fell off. She did it hard and I ended up right at the edge.
She was laughing so hard. I freaked out and started screaming at her and I may have been out of line but oh my God. She laughed about it at first but then she started crying and saying she was so sorry. The next day, she started texting me saying that she didn't mean any harm and she just "didn't know" that I would get so mad at her for doing that.
Am I crazy for even thinking about this? Is it possible she's just immature and if I get back with her she'll be different? I'm kind of lonely and I really love her, but this really made me rethink the situation because now I feel like she's legit crazy, not just fun crazy.
47. Replacement Ring
My wife lost her wedding band ring. She was devastated and blamed herself for being a careless wife and losing something that was so symbolic. I went and got her another ring made, in the exact way as the first one, then put it somewhere she'd find it. Lo and behold she "found" it in her car. She was so happy. I'll never tell her that she "found" the second ring.
48. Caught One-Handed
I was born with only one hand. I have rheumatoid arthritis in the one hand I have, and I know it’s spreading. I have osteoarthritis in my lower back and scoliosis to the point where I am most likely going to need spine surgery. I’m only 31 years old. I can’t do this for another 50+ years. I am in such bad pain now and it’s only going to get worse.
I have thought of suicide, but I can’t do that to my husband and kids. I don’t want my husband to turn into a caregiver. I can’t envision not being able to take care of myself.
49. I’m Too Handsy For Your Shirt
My girlfriend’s mom has a love/hate relationship with black people. She was against our relationship when we first got together, and all her driving points kept resorting to my skin color. I'm a good dude so I've always dismissed comments like that. However, over time she made a lot of comments about me being handsome and then one night during a party, things got out of control.
My girlfriend’s whole family, including her dad who had just got out of prison, were present when Momma tripped and fell forward on me in her kitchen. She then proceeded to grab my crotch out of nowhere. My girlfriend’s prick of a stepdad was in the other room, so this was mad awkward. I had to play it off as just the big black dude catching the small white woman.
Her mom definitely got a handful of my nuts while my girlfriend’s whole family were wasted. I don't talk about it, but my girlfriend has said on many occasions she feels her mom would smash me if I weren't smashing her daughter. Can’t believe that she drunkenly grabbed my crotch after pretending to not be into black men most of her life
50. Toilet Clogger
This may seem insignificant, but I can’t bring myself to tell my husband this. I was working at a very high-end health club as a sales manager, and one day I got notice that one of the toilets was clogged. I called maintenance. Well, maintenance called me back to tell me it’s not an easy job and that there must be something down in the pipes.
Two weeks, three massive floods, and hundreds of dollars worth of new piping later, and maintenance takes apart the toilet only to find out that a large brown hair clip had gotten stuck a few inches into the “S” portion of the pipe. It looked unsettlingly familiar. Well, I got to thinking. I’d misplaced my large brown hair clip a couple of weeks earlier.
I noticed my clip’s absence, only because I have incredibly thick hair and that clip was the only one that worked. I’m 99% sure that clip was mine and that the whole ordeal was my fault.
51. Let Me Re-do That
That I re-fold the towels, and re-wash the dishes (or re-load the dishwasher) after she does those things because if I don't, the linen closet will be a wreck and the dishes won’t be clean. We're both 15+ years into our careers and have two kids, and while we don't really care about traditional gender roles, I can tell it bothers her that I do all of the domestic stuff.
She obviously hates spending time cooking and cleaning and rushes through those chores, but when I suggest that she sit and rest while I cook, it upsets her because she's not being a "good wife" So, I just wait until she's not around and re-do it.
52. Hidden Pain
I discovered something in my wife’s belongings that just broke my heart: A journal where she chronicled her pain after a failed pregnancy. In it, she speaks of how she'd never get through it without me being strong for her (I never cried in front of her, only solo). I had to because of a few "friends" who got pregnant and thought that us still being upset was a slight to them.
I had to pull it together quick when she walked in after I put it away. She isn't a sappy type. She tells me she loves me, but never how much I mean to her, so seeing that melted me. Oh, and on the lighter side, she also has a calendar post that says "Yeah baby”! on the date of our first time in the bedroom. She's amazing.
53. Where Is The Love?
I found my wife’s self-help book "How to deal with a loveless marriage". That stung, because I loved her more than life itself. I wasn't the best husband but I was doing the best I could in a big crazy chaotic family and clearly all that effort didn't mean anything to her. Things got better between us afterwards and we were in a good place before she passed unexpectedly.
I got left to be a single dad of five kids with no support network. Still a little bit bitter about getting left with this mess that I'm not suited to handle. I love my kids, and I do the best I can with them, but it's not the same.
54. A Sordid Obsession
I found photos of my sister, without a stitch of clothing on, in his phone. My now ex-husband had looked through my younger sister’s phone while she was staying with us, sent her private pictures to his phone, deleted the proof from her phone to avoid detection, and shared them with two friends. Oh, but it gets worse. When I found them, he blamed our six-year-old. Our SIX-YEAR-OLD.
Sure, our child had the wherewithal to do this, then text them to his dad's buddy saying, "Remember her? She was in the wedding" ...a wedding that took place years before he was even born. He is a severely malignant covert narcissist, with serious issues with intimacy and obsession. I made sure he was never around my family again. Pics were scrubbed instantly, I even went after his friends.
He's a super sneaky, problematic creepsack whom I divorced in 2013 and he still tries to make my life a living hell. This is just one of countless stories of horrible things that man has done in and after the 11-year marriage ended. And I still haven't been able to bring myself to tell my sister, or anyone in the family after so many years. I just never knew how.
I had/have so much shame just being associated with him, but grateful to have gotten away. Don't ignore red flags and trust your gut. If there's any feeling of uncertainty, walk away and keep walking.
55. Beads Buddy
I’m from south Louisiana and my dad is in a Mardi Gras Crew. Every year he’s on a float throwing beads. My husband has never been to Mardi Gras so his first time he was so excited, and it was at my dad’s parade. Normally people on the floats throw the “good beads” to kids or women that will flash them. But I had a genius plan. I told my husband that if you yell “throw me something mister!” loud enough the people on the float will give you the “good beads.”
I told my dad and he told his float buddies, when their float came around my husband was screaming like a banshee “THROW ME SOMETHING MISTER!” My dad and his friend pelted my husband with their best beads. When we were leaving the parade my husband was flexing all his nice new beads and thinks Mardi Gras is the best thing ever.
Didn’t have the heart to tell him that I told my dad to do that. He just thinks that because he was so enthusiastic, he got all the good stuff.
56. There’s A Bee?!
He is terrified of bees/wasps. They are all "bees" to him. Completely terrified. Just the word "bee" will get him to start nervously looking around. If he was driving the car and a bee got in the window, I'd be afraid for my safety because there is a solid chance he'd accidentally crash. It's honestly a huge problem, and it scares me. He is very embarrassed about his fear though, he knows it's irrational. He can't seem to help it.
So, I have developed a sixth sense about the presence of bees. If we're outside and I see one buzzing around, I'll make sure I either stand in his way so he can't see it, or I'll make an excuse for him to go inside. I've found wasp's nests in and around our house, and I take them out while he's at work and then never say a word about it.
If a wasp comes around and he sees it, he'll run away, but then I'll hunt it down and kill it so when he comes back out, he can have the peace of mind of seeing its corpse (from a distance). He doesn't know that I've been on 24/7 bee patrol for him for the past three years. I'm afraid he'd feel humiliated if he knew, and maybe even get depressed about it. But I don't mind. They're just wasps and honeybees.
57. Let Him Win
That I let him win a particular game of Android: Netrunner. We bought the game because it was touted as one of the best two-player board games at the time. We played it several times a week for a few weeks and I won every single game. He always played the corporation and I was always the runner, which was ultimately his choice.
One time, he decided to try a new deck, but remained the corporation. I knew it was my chance to finally let him win. About halfway through the game, I made a deliberate mistake that turned the tide of the game and he went on to win that game for the first and only time. That was the last time we ever played and we later sold it online.
He still brings up that one win sometimes and I know that I can never tell him the truth.
58. If The Shoe Fits
My wife is a neat freak. Always has been. She throws notes on my desk out assuming they're garbage, my belongings get rearranged to the point where it takes me hours to find them; it's something I've come to accept. I'm not happy about it, but we have a pretty happy marriage on the whole. I am a volunteer EMT, and I keep my boots unlaced up against the wall next to my clothes hamper so that I can throw them on along with my uniform if a call comes in during the middle of the night.
Well, my wife has taken to tying the bootlaces when she sees them untied. Not only does she tie them, but she tightens them and double knots them to the point where I need to undo the knot, open up the boots, and let a little slack out to fit my feet into them. I ignored it the first two times, but the third time she did it, I made it a point to bring up to her the next day.
I very calmly said, "Honey, I appreciate that you want everything neat, but please do not touch my boots in the future. Time is of the essence when I'm going on a call and at two in the morning I don't have the time to unlace them and open them up. It's not just a minor inconvenience, it's people's lives, so I would appreciate it if you left them alone."
She rolled her eyes, said I was being dramatic, and that she wouldn't help me out by keeping my things neat in the future. Well, she never stopped. No matter how many times I've asked her, told her, begged her; she just laughs and says, "Well you know how I am!" Then disaster struck. The other night a page went out for a CPR in progress.
I went to throw my boots on and they were, once again, tightened beyond recognition. So I'm sitting there on the edge of the bed, cursing, trying to get my boots open, and fumbling due to the stress of the situation. My wife opened her eyes, groggily looked at me, and asked, "Don't you need to go on that call?" I know I was in the wrong here, and I regret it.
I slammed the boot into the ground and yelled, "Yes! I do! I would have been out the door five minutes ago, except SOME STUPID WITCH MESSED WITH MY BOOTS AGAIN!" My wife got up without another word, walked into the bathroom, and slammed the door. I got my boots open and went on the call. By the time we arrived, the officers had gotten her back, so I didn't have to do CPR.
Still, I was sweating and shaking thinking my delay could have cost a life. I got home and my wife wasn't talking to me. She ignored me the entire day until we finally sat down and talked. She said I had scared her with how angry I got, that she thought I was going to hit her, and she didn't know I was capable of getting so angry.
Note: I have never raised a hand to her, nor have I ever yelled at her before; I am absolutely not a violent person in any way shape or form. I apologized for yelling at her, and acknowledged that I hadn't meant to snap at her, I was frustrated with the situation as I needed to get to the person in need of CPR as soon as possible and it was a delay that didn't need to happen. I, once again, pleaded with her not to touch my boots because lives were literally on the line.
She told me that if I was going to overreact and make her afraid then she would never touch my boots again because she didn't want to live like that. Last night, before I got into bed, I had a sinking feeling. I went over and checked my boots, and I was very disappointed to find them tightened up again. So I decided to show her how it felt.
I went over to her closet and pulled out her running shoes. I unlaced the shoelaces on both of them, removed them from the shoes completely, curled them each into a little coil, put them inside the shoes, and put them back. I then went to sleep. At 6:15 I was woken up by my wife screaming, "How could you!? Why would you do this?" holding up both laceless shoes with tears in her eyes.
My wife likes to go for an early morning run and I knew she would want to get out the door as soon as possible. I smiled and said, "You know how I am! I just like things neat!" She continued sobbing and walked out of the room. So, by the time she was all laced up again, it was raining so she missed out on her run. I actually feel pretty terrible about that because I really only wanted to delay her, not ruin her plans completely.
At this point, she's alternating between crying that I went out of my way to hurt her and ignoring my presence. I acknowledge that what I've done has been pretty childish and not at all constructive. I just don't know what to do. She said, through tears, "You admitted you were totally in the wrong for yelling at me, and then you turned around and took it out on me in a different way! What is wrong with you?"
The problem is, to her, an apology means taking on 100% of the fault. When I apologized for blowing up, she took that to mean she was 100% in the right and that my feelings were completely unjustified. So at this point, I haven't apologized for ruining her run, because she'll take that to mean that she wasn't wrong to touch my boots.
I've tried to have these discussions but it's in one ear and out the other. We have such a good relationship otherwise, but I feel like this issue has reached a tipping point and it's going to continue to result in arguments until we resolve it.
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59. Double Whammy
My sister’s husband crashed his car, freaked out, and took his own life with a pistol he had in the glove box. But that wasn’t the only tragedy.
A few weeks later, we found out he had been cheating on her with both men and women, with the worst thing being him using HER Facebook account to talk to teenage girls. We were all beyond shocked.
60. Can’t Sleep, Won’t Sleep
My girlfriend snores. Been with her 19 years and she snores EVERY night. Mostly I can get to sleep, and I sleep through it, but I KNOW I am not getting great sleep. I've asked her to see if we can do something about it, even suggested we do didgeridoo lessons together (the breathing technique does wonders for snoring and why not learn a weird instrument?).
She's never really bothered. Her snoring can manifest as sleep apnea, which besides just not being good, is a contributor to anxiety (which she has) so it'd be good for her too. So, we've recently moved. Two nights ago, the next-door neighbor’s dog was barking in the middle of the night and kept her up for an hour or two.
She kept mentioning it all day and kept telling me how tired she was. I gave some perfunctory sympathy but no more. If she'd known how I really felt, she'd be furious. Secretly, it was all I could do to not say "Welcome to EVERY NIGHT in my life."
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61. Panty Party
My wife was packing up a bunch of my old music equipment during our last move about fifteen years ago. When she came to me with this shocked look on her face, I knew I was in for it. She found a cluster of about twenty pairs of women's underwear in the back of a burned-out, old Peavey guitar amp. I definitely had some explaining to do.
They were, technically, mine. Not because I wear women's underwear, but because I used to live in a party house and things got crazy a couple of weekends in a row where the girls at the party disrobed and left their underpants behind during some drinking game. I remember picking them up and putting them in the back of the amp. Mostly because I was an inebriated, lazy 20-year-old.
I hadn’t really intended to keep them, but I guess I never got around to tossing them out. And there they stayed until my wife found them years later. It made for a pretty absurd Saturday morning when she found them.
62. I Know I’m Not The Only One
I’d been dating this girl for six months. I could tell she was preoccupied and wanted to end our relationship, so I decided to do some snooping. While she’s in the shower, I creep into the closet—and my jaw DROPS. I find a whole collection of dangerous munitions—everything you could think of. Then I find a “USMC” wooden plaque and framed wedding photos.
This broad was married to a Marine Corp reservist who was deployed.
63. Free Bling
I never paid for my partner’s engagement ring. I went to a custom jeweler to have her ring made. It’s a beautiful piece, which she loves dearly, and it certainly wasn’t cheap. It was appraised and insured for around $10,000. The jeweler was dealing with a lot of family issues at the time and was incredibly disorganized.
I went to pick up the ring and brought my checkbook to pay for it, and when she handed me the ring, I took it out and asked her who to make the check out to. She said, “Oh no, don’t worry about it right now, just send me a check in the mail"! I thought that was strange, but I agreed. She then hurried off to help another customer and I left.
But, she never told me what the final price was. For the next six months, I texted and called the jeweler asking, “Hey, just tell me what amount to put and I’ll mail you the check"! There was always a reason she couldn’t tell me. But, she said she would text it to me. Her shop was a few hours away from where I live, so it wasn’t feasible to stop by and handle it in person.
I tried for six months, but after that, I stopped calling and texting. I just figured I got the ring for free. I wouldn’t tell my spouse, because I don’t want her to think I took advantage of the situation or that somehow the ring isn’t as meaningful because I didn’t pay for it.
64. I’m Onto You...
My husband is having an affair. I know but I am too scared of what will happen if I confront him. He is so narcissistic that he can't see anything wrong with anything he does. We have a nine year old and I think it would destroy him. And as a little background, my mom was married seven different times while I was growing up. I have a huge fear of becoming her. I know it’s irrational but that fear is what stops me. I have a good job and can afford it. I haven't confronted him yet. I know he will lie because he lies every time I confront him in an argument about anything.
65. Bye Girl, Bye
I found a notebook with a partially finished letter describing in detail how she cheated on me and how she wasn't happy in the relationship. I called her at work and asked about it and she confirmed it was true. I was packed and gone before she got home. Luckily, I moved three hours away with my best friend and have had a great time since then.
66. The Escape Plan
When my ex and I lived together I found a box with a single set of dishes under his side of the bed. When I asked him about it, he said he was keeping them just in case he decided to break up with me so that he could leave at the drop of a hat at any given moment. I remember the conversation, he seemed so nonchalant about it all. Turned out to be a total sociopath.
67. Sucked Dry
Oh, my ex-wife really did me dirty. I found months of credit card bills, for cards I had paid off. I worked three jobs while she was on "disability", and she threw the bills away when they came in. Oddly enough, she was fine enough to email other guys and meet guys to go dancing every weekend while I worked. 40k plus the divorce costs...
Oh, and the absurdly large “toy” under the couch. Thankfully, still in the package. Chucked her and the toy.
68. Don’t Keep It Bottled Up
On the day I kicked my ex out, I was removing his things when I stumbled across something that sent a chill down my spine: hidden bottles of urine in the back of the closet. Naturally horrified, I started checking and sure enough I found even more behind the couch, the curtains, and the radiator. There was urine hidden in bleach bottles and under the sinks in the back of the cabinet.
I also found one in the freezer and since I was throwing out my entire fridge, wretching, I'm gonna assume there was some in there too. No idea why to this day. None. Zero. No weird hint, absolutely nothing.
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69. Loaning To A Loser
Our basement flooded, so while cleaning, I noticed my husband had this old blackberry in a box with the charger. So I plugged it in—and got the shock of a lifetime. I found text messages between him and his best man, who ghosted him. Discovered that he loaned this loser 20k and said loser hasn’t paid back a dime. Oh, but it gets worse.
We were going through a bankruptcy and discovered our oldest needed out-of-pocket therapy for autism spectrum-related reasons and this guy refused to respond to the texts. I’m heartbroken for my husband, because he loved this guy.
70. Oh Deer
My wife has a beautiful heart. I jokingly call her a Disney princess because any animal that she comes across she has to talk to and greet. She has cried by seeing a dead raccoon on the side of the road before. At the time, I was working day shift and she was working a swing shift. I had a busy day, but I saw she sent me some pictures of a young doe that was eating in our front yard.
She seemed thrilled. I came home—and my blood ran cold. I saw the same deer...dead. On my darn porch. I felt like I started to hear “the first 48” theme playing as I realized I have six hours to get rid of this thing before my wife gets home and her world is shattered. I call my local city authorities thinking they wouldn’t want a dead animal in the middle of town.
Turns out, they couldn’t care less. I called some local raptor shelters to see if they could take a state donation, but it turns out the dead deer business is booming and they didn’t have a need for donations at this time, especially in the next 6 hours. Frustrated, I call my dad to vent and get advice on what to do. His response is only a, “Hold on bud, I’ll be there in 15 minutes.”
I go back inside to take care of the dogs and within the next 15 minutes, I see my dad back his huge truck into my back yard. He has the tailgate down and is knocking on my door with a pair of nitrile gloves on and another pair in hand for me. It was starting to get dark out, but we had that thing loaded up and found a special place to, uh, “dispose” of it.
We made it back with 20 minutes to spare before my wife got home. I haven’t told my wife because I think it would either break her heart, or creep her out at how efficiently my dad can dump a body. Anyway, wifey thinks her deer friend is alive and well, and totally not at the bottom of a ravine.
71. An Inside Job
I was a relationship banker for a little while (guy at the desk inside a branch). We would help people with account issues and such all the time. One time, this guy comes in saying there’s been a huge mistake with his checking account, there’s $80,000 missing! This seems crazy, and if it’s fraud, they likely would have caught something that big before letting the cash leave the account.
I pull up the account and see that it is a joint account with his wife and that she is the one who withdrew the money. Now, we had a rule that you could not reveal the nature of transactions like that on joint accounts. All I could say was that it was not fraud. Dude was shook, he was saying it must be fraud, etc. I just say that I can see the transaction withdrawing the funds and it is all above board.
When it dawned on him his face just went white and he says I just saw my wife this morning at breakfast (the withdrawal has been that morning right at 9 am). I didn’t say anything and asked if he wanted to speak with my manager, which he declined.
72. The Doll Room
When I first discovered my wife's secret, I was terrified: She had a collection of dolls. Like hundreds of them, all types, mostly made of cloth/stuffing, some plastic, some glass, some beanie baby style, but all "human", no fantasy or animals allowed. Apparently she had been collecting them as a child and kept it going. So when we visit a new city or country, she will get a doll or something that is from that area.
We dated for like four years before we got married and I didn't know she had this many. Her apartment just had a room that she called “the doll room” and I never really questioned it. Now I have a room I call “the collection room” so that I don't have to explain to people why I have hundreds of dolls and that my lovely wife is not creepy despite having tiny figurines.
After that, I didn't feel as weird about springing my massive comic book and Star Trek collection on her. Our kids are going to have a lot to deal with when we die.
73. Replacement Necklace
When I was 14, my grandma passed away. For years, I had been bothering my parents for my own gold necklace. Well, my grandma had a little bit of money and she gave me $300 for a gold necklace in her will. It was my pride and joy. I had it around my neck for 17 years before I met my wife. It was off my neck maybe three times in those 17 years.
My wife (then girlfriend) knew how much it meant to me and asked to wear it once. Well, it never came home. She had lost it somewhere. I was distraught like crazy for three or four days while we turned our house upside down looking for it. Inevitably, I gave up, but she was very bothered by it all. I had to take things into my own hands.
I decided to go to a pawn shop and buy the closest I could get to a duplicate and then I told her that I had found the necklace in the couch cushions. To this day, she thinks that I found my necklace from my grandmother, but this is actually version two.
74. Maternal Instincts
I hate my mother with every fibre of my being but I still can't tell her no. I'm tired of taking care of her financially and it's putting a burden on me and my husband. He thinks I am careless with money (like a wife spending money on frivolous things) but in reality I give it to my mom so that she can get her fix. I'm afraid that the one time she says it's for food or rent and I don't give it to her, she'll end up dead. I don't want to live with that guilt. It's been going on since I was a teenager. I'm 30 now.
75. A Blood Bath
My ex-husband tried to keep the most bizarre secret from me: He kept vials of fake blood. I thought it was weird when I found them stuffed in the closet, but I didn't say anything because it was not far off from Halloween. However, it wasn’t long before that blood came back to haunt me. Our marriage was over and I caught him cheating. I decided to leave. I went back to get some belongings—and made the most disturbing discovery.
My husband had staged an accident with the fake blood on the kitchen floor (he was a total nut job) to make me feel bad for leaving. He waited until I showed up and had an open bottle of Tylenol and fake blood all over his body as though he’d taken his own life. Well, he wasn’t fooling me. I banged on the window and told him to get up and stop playing stupid games.
Unsurprisingly, he started twitching and the life came back into him. He crawls to open the door mumbling he needs to go to the hospital. I step over him and grab my belongings. I find the tubes of blood thrown in the bathroom trash can and threw them at him on the way out.
76. Grandma’s Jewels
To my horror, I discovered my grandmother’s costume jewelry in one of my husband's suit pockets. He’d pilfered it when I took him to meet her. I had never so much as lied to that woman in my life. One of the items of jewelry I found was a locket with perfume inside that my grandma wore for church every Sunday. She was the only one who ever nurtured and loved me when my parents could not.
She did this in every way imaginable. At 65 years old I still open that locket and close my eyes sometimes and that is priceless to me.
77. You, Me, And Dupree
I'm certain I'm the worst person posting here. I basically have two boyfriends who both know who the other person is because they have both been exes before, but neither of them knows that I still talk to the other. See, one of them lives far away, but we made an agreement when I was broken up from my current legitimate boyfriend that we would get married at 31 or 32 years of age.
I got back together with my current boyfriend and never told him about that. I never broke it off with the previous guy because 32 is still five years off and I was head-over-heels in love with him in college. Thing is, that's not the worst part. I'm boy crazy. There is one (different) ex in particular that I would drop everyone for, but he's in no state to be in a relationship, but I still sleep with him every now and again.
I tell some guys I'm in an open relationship but I’m not really. Some are fine with that, and some aren't, but I'll take all the ones who don't care. I don't sleep around outside of my relationship often, but I have a serious lack of control when it comes to that one ex of mine. The boyfriend doesn't know I ever see him and I try to keep it infrequent.
Sometimes I tell myself I can wean off him. I don't know that I can. Worse, I don't know that I want to do so. I think I'm trying to make up for lost time. I never felt good enough to have any of the attractive guys when I was young, but now I know I can. I am horrible.
78. Double-Crossed
This wasn’t me, but my friend’s neighbor, we lived on the same street, so I always saw the guy. Old man and wife, lived on a corner lot, both retired. Everything paid off, the old man had no worries in the world and was set for the rest of his life. I used to see him cutting his yard daily almost every morning, just to be doing something. Well, when his wife passed, he found out the horrible truth.
The last 10 years of retirement, the wife had given hundreds of thousands of dollars to their daughter, and when their cash ran out, remortgaged the house and given that money as well. I heard the daughter had issues, obviously. He was beyond broke. The bank foreclosed on his house, and last I heard, he had to move in with someone.
This is the second time I’ve known where the wife gave all their money to their children without the husband knowing.
79. A Bag Full Of Trouble
I stayed home one day from work, and decided to do the laundry. I found 50 or so little baggies of what turned out to be tranquilizers. I’d had my suspicions, but this just confirmed it. Usually by the time we got home from work, my wife was halfway comatose. But the baggies were just the tip of the iceberg. After finishing the laundry, I began finding little bags of pills in the pockets of many clothes hanging in the closet.
Just as I was sitting down to have a “discussion with her,” a hypodermic needle rolled out of her purse and onto the table. I was in a controlled explosive rage at that point. "I'm holding it for a friend," she said. I know who that guy is, he's using her! He’d already left town a couple days ago, and dumped his hypo into her hands! I took it from her and said, “I'll deal with this”.
On my way to work the next day, I stopped on the side of the road, found a big old rotten tree trunk in the woods, made a big hole it, and put the hypo in the hole. I told myself, no one will ever find that! Her father, just like mine, was a heavy drinker. I can see why she did a bit of self-medicating, but that's not the answer to life. Within two years, our marriage was over.
80. Overwhelmed
I need a break. The truth is, I'm drowning and overwhelmed. I'm always "on" and my wife is recovering from a surgery, which requires me to be even more "on" with helping her and making sure the kids are occupied in a way that's not making it harder on her. Then, there's the dog she wanted, but has never put any effort into. Once she's better, I need to absolutely go disappear somewhere for a few days.
As an individual with ADHD, I require time to zone out in order to feel relaxed and it's been weeks since I've had an opportunity to do that for more than a couple of minutes at a time. But, I won't say that because I know she's in pain, constantly exhausted, and just miserable right now.
81. Happily Ever After?
I love my fiancée but we have a major problem. I feel like I can't talk to anyone about it. The thing is, my fiancée is completely uninterested in intimacy, and it's making me disinterested in our relationship. I have tried all manner of buy-in over the last three years to get her interest up. We have fought about it many times but I have finally given up. I am extremely interested in this stuff (and so was she when we first started dating) but now she's only into it a few times a month. She says she enjoys it when we do, but often rushes me to finish so even when it happens, it's rarely intimate or satisfying for me.
It makes me feel unattractive and undesirable and, in turn, makes it difficult for me to be affectionate with her. She is beautiful and fun and way out of my league so there is intense pressure from all of my friends to stay with her. I get constant "if you don't marry her, you are a moron" comments. We live together but I spend more and more time isolated from her and my friends because the anxiety of feeling like I am doing the wrong thing by marrying her is crippling. I usually end up at home with headphones on playing games while she watches TV or is out drinking with her friends.
82. One Big Happy Family
I don't love my wife anymore. She's pregnant with a child I'm not ready for. The child, in my mind, is nothing but a financial burden that we can't afford. But that's not even the worst part. I'm too afraid to divorce her because the state that I live in always punishes the father with very high child support.
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83. Don’t Toy With Me
I found a small thin rod that was attached to a plastic base when we were moving from our apartment to our house. The metal rod portion was covered with a thin plastic sheath. For all the world, it looked like some sort of naughty toy which brought up the question "Why have we never used this”??
I was stupidly apprehensive about anal play for the first few years we dated and in that time she had kind of cooled on it so nothing major ever happened on that end. I decided to try and be coy and showed it to her and asked if she wanted to take a little break "wink wink" and she busted up laughing.
My wife has to take daily HGH injections and it turns out that what I thought was a toy was actually an agitator that was part of mixing her meds together on a delivery system she used before we started dating. She was thoroughly amused and spent the rest of the night asking me if I thought various objects were toys as well.
84. Two Baby Mamas
He always wanted me to do yoga and insisted we go to certain places and eat food. And that’s when I found out his awful secret. Turns out, his ex shared all the same interests. She was doing yoga. She liked going to those same places and ate the same food I ate. But that wasn’t the most devastating part. When I discovered his affair, I was pregnant…and she’d just given birth to their second child.
So yeah, I found out all of this in his phone that he gave me and when he was confronted. He thought it would be better for me to find out for myself. He's still around, asking for forgiveness for the last four years, regretting that he shouldn't have ruined things with me and insisting that I was the best for him. He is a great dad though, but as a partner...NOPE. Co-parenting is the best decision I made for our relationship.
85. The Back Of The Drawer
Going through my ex’s stuff (which she had refused to go through—taking what she wanted, but leaving me to sift through everything as I purged her from my place), I found gifts I gave her that had literally been opened once and stuffed in her nightstand. Back of the drawer. Stuff I’d put real thought into. Also, gift cards sent to our kids by relatives. Quite a few over years. I doubt they even have any value anymore.
I just put them in her boxes, because like no way was going to explain that to my kids…
86. Double-Crossed
This wasn’t me, but my friend’s neighbor, we lived on the same street, so I always saw the guy. Old man and wife, lived on a corner lot, both retired. Everything paid off, the old man had no worries in the world and was set for the rest of his life. I used to see him cutting his yard daily almost every morning, just to be doing something. Well, when his wife passed, he found out the horrible truth.
The last 10 years of retirement, the wife had given hundreds of thousands of dollars to their daughter, and when their cash ran out, remortgaged the house and given that money as well. I heard the daughter had issues, obviously. He was beyond broke. The bank foreclosed on his house, and last I heard, he had to move in with someone.
This is the second time I’ve known where the wife gave all their money to their children without the husband knowing.
87. The Notebook
You can imagine my dismay when I found a small notebook with names of guys she’d cheated on me with. Along with what they liked, what they didn't like, dates, where I was during, her reasoning, and finally a list of people she thought I was cheating on her with at the time. The most messed-up part was not that the majority of them were my friends, but that it started two days after we started dating.
On one hand I felt enraged that so many of the guys I called friends were sleeping with her behind my back. On the other, I'm just glad I never went through with proposing a year into dating.
88. Secret Champion
I'm very, very good at pool, table tennis, and darts. But, when we go out, I have to let her win. Either that, or I avoid playing altogether. She doesn't know yet. Why? Whenever she loses, she holds grudges. It's these weird, subtle, long-time grudges, but only for certain things she likes to excel at, not everything. Definitely a type A thing, right?
I guess this competitiveness and energy is why I like her, but I don't play these games with her.
89. Out Of My League
She’s out of my league in looks, she just got a new job and went from 40% of what I make to 140%. She’s perfect in every way, but I’m terrified I’m going to lose her because I’m just a blue-collar worker. I’m around 40 and have kids from a divorce. Our kids get along like best friends. I honestly couldn’t ask for more.
But, I have nightmares that she’s going to leave me for a fancy doctor or lawyer. I hope she doesn’t.
90. Imaginary Friends
My ex-wife had this ongoing lie that I think she actually began to believe. It was scary. I found letters and large art sheets filled with love declarations to her deceased best friend Roxy. But here’s the crazy part. Roxy wasn’t even a real person. My ex had made her up for sympathy/attention.
91. Big Saver
I have $2,000 a month being directly deposited to my own savings account and my partner doesn’t know. The rest of the money I make goes to our joined account. She thinks I don't make enough, and that we’re poor. The reality is that she can't budget and spends poorly. The savings account has gotten quite large in the past five years.
I'm terrified for something to happen where I need to dip into it. Then, she may ask where I got it and why I've been hiding it.
92. Private Investigator
A couple of years back, my fiance hired a private investigator to follow me around and take photos of me going in and out of buildings. He snapped a picture of me talking to family, visiting a Starbucks, and working out at the gym. I found all of these photos in his suitcase when I went inside to borrow a legal pad.
I don’t think I’ve ever felt that brand of violation ever in my life. It was like everything I knew about him just got twisted. I waited a day, then I confronted him. Then the rest of it came up, more secrets.
An ex-wife I didn’t know about, a daughter, plans to ask me to transfer colleges abroad to some college I didn’t know. We’d only been dating for four months but it still made me feel like I’d fallen into a nest of spiders thinking it was an open field.
I left him very shortly after, mostly because I just felt like nothing about him was real anymore. I didn’t want to know more. I felt at the time that the less I knew about him, the safer I’d be.
93. Negative Association
While I do love and trust my husband and enjoy private time with him, being intimate is very hard for me. It should be this magical, special moment, but instead, it constantly brings back a lot of terrible memories. The truth is that when I was child, I was involved in incest. That's why I avoided intimacy until we got married and that's why I have such conflicted feelings about it to this day—but I don't think I can ever reveal my secret.
94. Unearned Glory
It's a more complicated story than I'm willing to tell, but I can never be close to my sister because of her husband. My brother-in-law molested me when I was young, and continued to be handsy when they became my guardians in high school. It, among other things he did, really started to mess with me, especially once I was trying to make it on my own in the real world.
I became depressed, dropped out of college and attempted suicide (none of which my sister knew about). Once I got out of the hospital I decided I should do us all a favor, tell her about everything so that she could know what a monster he is and justify the divorce she's be talking about for years. Before I got a chance to, he successfully committed suicide (in, might I add, one of the most selfish ways possible).
Now my sister and her kids are devastated, completely turned off to any kind of discussion on mental health, look at me as all the bad things he convinced them I was (to discredit me if I ever gabbed), and glorify him as some kinda saint. I even tried to keep it simple and say "I'd like to get my depression under control so I can focus on school," to which she'll freak out and yell at me because "oh so you wanna go kill yourself now and put me through this all over again?!" How could I ever tell her that I've already tried, and because of her now dead husband?
In short, I avoid my sister because I can't be around someone grieving for the monster who ruined my life.
95. Sandwich Stash
Bless her, she makes me lunch everyday. I will never tell her that I go shopping so that I have all the necessary sandwich-making material at work because she never packs enough. I've suggested adding more to lunch, but nothing really comes of it. I love that she puts the effort into preparing me lunch every morning and I wouldn't jeopardize losing that because of my sandwich stash.
96. He Shattered Me
My husband at the time THOUGHT he could keep his secret from me. He fell in our glass shower, shattering it, so I took him to the hospital. I was at work when it happened. I smelled that he’d been drinking when he wasn’t supposed to (medication, bipolar, and doctor’s orders). He denied it all and told hospital staff he wasn’t drinking. We spend all night in the hospital—but when I arrived home, I had to face a bloody and glass horror scene.
I’m cleaning up the shower and find part of a silver necklace. He did not wear jewelry ever. He flipped out and accused me of putting it there to cause issues. I did have trust issues. Well, he successfully gaslit me and I let it go. Then about a month or so later, I find evidence of cheating. He went through a Taco Bell drive-thru and befriended a 19-year-old girl (I was 24 at the time in great shape and the breadwinner).
He potentially slipped her something and had her in the shower with him and she confirmed it was her necklace, that they were drinking, and that he told her we were already divorced but cohabitating until the lease was up. I mean we had pictures of us together everywhere in the apartment so she learned a lesson too and I wasn’t upset with her.
But I kicked him out and started the divorce process the day I found out, of course.
97. Mother Lover
I never told my wife that her mother once tried to sleep with me. It was early in our marriage when we were living with her to save money for our own place. Her marriage of 28 years had ended badly, and she was emotionally fragile. She was very tipsy and was absolutely horrified at what she had done when she sobered up.
I promised not to ever tell my wife and I never did, even when she and I were fighting near the end of our marriage. Some things are too cruel to do, even when you're trying to hurt each other.
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98. Polite Dinner Conversation
This happened about a year ago. I was 18 years old at the time and I was dating a boy named Jacob, who was also my age. His father was a mechanic, and his mom was a homemaker. They were a pretty typical white suburban family in the south and had asked Jacob if they could meet me even though we had only been dating for a month.
At the dinner, I met his mom, dad, older brother, older sister, and her newborn daughter. The dinner went well and I was chatting about my volunteer work at my college's blood drive, to which his father explains that his doctor told him he was O negative and a universal blood donor. My boyfriend mentions he is also O, but his siblings casually mention they are both AB.
I don’t think anything of it because my boyfriend had mentioned that his mom was married once before and was widowed. The following conversation went like this: Me: “Oh that's really cool. You're a really rare blood type. If you don't mind me asking, is your mom's blood type A and your dad's B, or your dad's A and mom's B?”
Older sister: “What do you mean? He's O.” She gestures to my boyfriend’s father here. Me: “Oh I know. I was just asking about your biological father, but of course, you don't have to answer if you don't want to.” I notice his mom get really pale, and it was in that moment I realized I screwed up. Older brother: “What do you mean biological father?”
Me: “I'm sorry. I didn't mean anything by it.” At this point, Jacob's dad got real quiet and was looking at his wife's face. He knew instantly. I look over to Jacob who I think was starting to put the full picture of what was happening together. Dad: “Are you saying they're not my biological kids? Because my wife swore up and down in marriage counseling (by "marriage counseling" he means with a pastor) that they were my kids and she would never cheat on me.”
At this point, I’m putting together that she never had any kids from her previous marriage. Mom: “I would never cheat on you. They are your kids.” The dad turns to me and says, “So why do you think they're not my kids?” I tried to excuse myself because it was very clear the cat was out of the bag, and with a quick Google search from my boyfriend, he starts cussing out his mom.
She starts to sob and apologizes over and over again, and I am forced to explain 9th-grade biology to his father about the fact that the only kids he could have produced were with the blood type: O, A or, B, but absolutely not AB. Jacob was the only one with the possibility of being his son. They all start screaming at one another, and the older sister eventually leaves because her newborn is screaming too.
His mom goes and locks herself in the bedroom. His older brother follows her, screaming and asking who his real father is. My boyfriend is trying to figure out if his dad still wants to be their father. I eventually have a friend come pick me up. Yeah...we broke up shortly after, but not before figuring out through paternity tests that none of the kids produced from the marriage were the dad’s. They divorced soon after.
99. Family Strife
Somebody said that he was supposed to cheat with his fiancé's best friend the night before their wedding, but she died in a car accident on the way to the hotel. They went through with the wedding, and his wife still doesn't know. Imagine holding THAT secret your entire life.
100. The Pains Of Being Pure
My fiancé proposed to me about eight months ago. We decided on having a relatively small wedding, which is in two days. Everything was going great. He seems absolutely perfect and we are very much in love. I am a virgin and so is he; he wanted to save it for marriage and I wasn't fussed, so I agreed to saving it, too.
He has told me before this that in his family, the father checks the virginity of the bride the night before the wedding. I laughed this off as it seriously sounded like a massive joke. I was so, so wrong. He was super serious. He wants me, the night before, to open my legs up in a small ceremony-type thing so his dad can check me while he, his brothers, and uncle can watch so that they know I am still “pure.”
I told him fat chance I am going to do that, and he was begging to me to go through with it and saying how important it is for him. He said he knew it was slightly embarrassing for me but his mom did and it will prove how much I love him and that I have nothing to hide anyway, as I am still a virgin. I left and he was crying, it was very dramatic.
So I went and talked to him this morning I told him that his father is not going to look at me and he needs to respect that. He was adamant that it needs to happen, and then it got more brutal. He accused me of lying about my virginity. I was trying to be calm and rational, but he was not having it and just became more and more angry.
I told him if he really loved me, he would stand by me on this and tell his father no. Instead, he slapped me and said he didn’t need to prove anything. So I ended it and left him. I am currently at my friend’s house being miserable and eating pizza, which at least is pretty fun. Either way, I can’t help but think that I dodged a bullet on this on.
