Despite what they would have you believe, the customer is not always right. In fact, they can sometimes be very, very, wrong. How wrong? Well, read these ridiculous stories and find out.
1. Nothing Gets Between Him and His Calvins
A customer took a dump in one оf my fitting rooms and then wiped hіs butt with a $125 Polo Ralph Lauren shirt. Nothing more needs to be said.
2. Mooving On
Customer to manager: "This bacon is so raw, I can still hear it mooing!"
1. It was pre-cooked bacon.
2. I know for a fact that his bacon never mooed.
3. In the Dumps
I was a manager at GameStop. On a busy day, a kid pooped on our floor because his mom didn't want to leave and have to stand in line again.
4. Having Your Chocolate and Eating It Too
I worked at an independent chocolate shop that sold various flavors of truffles, brownies, and drinks. We also had non-dairy options, vegan options, and nut free options available. A woman demanded to speak to the manager because we did not have a “dairy free, nut free, sugar-free, vegan” option. Luckily, the owner literally just laughed and said, “We do have one, it's called water.”
I have never seen such entitled rage in my life!
5. The Meme Lords Will Know About It
My mother once ranted to all and sundry that she was going to get the brand-new Wal-Mart Supercenter in our town shut down because a cashier closed her register as we were walking up. Apparently, she could do this because she "knew people on the internet." It was 1998. 14-year-old-me was mortified.
6. Dirty Little Secret
I used to work in customer service at Walmart. A woman came in one time to return a bag of soil because "the bag was dirty." She was dead serious.
7. Sir, I’m Afraid You Are Mistaken!
At our local Red Lobster, someone once grabbed the "manager" to tell him that his shrimp was cold and that he wanted a free beer as compensation. He even went as far as to exclaim that he could get better fish by fishing. This "manager" was actually just my dad, who was there to pick me up from work, but apparently looked like an authority figure since he had a tie on.
My dad replied, "That's cocktail shrimp, you moron!"
8. Self-Destructive
Worked at RadioShack for six months while in college. Pretty much had at least one terrible experience per shift. The one that stands out the most was a guy who wanted us to honor the warranty on his iPhone cable. The thing was a mutilated mess. It had clearly stopped working and he had tried to fix it himself by cutting the cable apart and attempting to solder two wires together.
We calmly explained that we couldn’t process a claim for an item that was willfully destroyed, and he starts screaming in our faces about how “RadioShack is a scam!” and “I’m going to sue all of you!” And then he tries to WHIP my coworker—a five-foot-tall non-threatening woman—with the cable! She managed to turn her head and catch the wire with her hand before it caught her in the face. Myself and another employee chased him out of the store and called the police but nothing came of it.
RadioShack shoppers were the worst.
9. Blood On His Hands
My craziest moment in retail was definitely the time when I was moaned at by a customer for not being available at a very obviously closed checkout counter. I was very clearly and obviously on the phone to 911 for an ambulance at the time, since a customer had very clearly and obviously collapsed while shopping and was now very clearly and obviously bleeding to death in the middle of the store.
10. Cheese-less Cheeseburger
When I used to work at McDonald's some lady came in and ordered a cheeseburger without cheese. So being the person I am I just put it in a hamburger wrapper and gave it to the front. Well, she came back like five minutes later and all hell broke loose. She was yelling at the poor girl who gave her the sandwich and the girl was new. So I went up to help and asked what was the matter.
This is what she said, "I ordered a cheeseburger without cheese you gave me a hamburger I want what I ordered right now and I want to speak to your manager." So I told her I was the manager. She proceeded to call me a liar even though I had a name tag that said shift manager on it. But I told her I would fix it. I took the burger and put it in a cheeseburger wrapper and gave it back to her she looked at it. Then at me and I'm pretty sure she had the realization of what a cheeseburger without cheese is. She then just walked away without thanking me or anything. Also, I had to send the girl home, since she was crying.
11. Get Pumped
I’m the manager at a gas station. A woman once asked to speak to me because she had somehow managed to spill gasoline all over herself at the pump, and wanted us to pay for new clothing.
12. Front of the Line, Back of the Class
I was with my parents on vacation, and the hotel put charges on the bill by accident. My mom marched to the front desk and demanded to see the manager. There was a long line, but she cut right in front of it. The manager wasn't very helpful, probably because she was rude. So my mom went to all the other customers in line and told them that the hotel was a scam and they were ripping us off with fake charges.
She made a scene. The hotel called the police and we were escorted off the premises by actual cops. I died inside.
13. Bullies Can’t Play With Us
I've thrown one punch in my life. It was on Black Friday. So it was the year the Xbox 360 came out. I was standing in line to get some external hard drive next to the video games. And there was this 11ish-year-old kid with a woman in her 60s. He was waiting for his 360 bundle. Woman before him had "gotten the last one," sighs all around.
Then he says, "Nope, one more" and begins the motion of handing it to the kid, and this guy comes out of nowhere and pushed the older woman and the kid. The kid hit his face on the edge of a video game rack, you know the one with the metal and plastic dividers. At 19 years old I don't know what came over me, but I instantly swung for the dude’s head and caught him right in the temple, sending him into a Keurig tower in the middle of the aisle.
Everyone froze, including me. Guy had dropped the 360 and got up and walked away. I slid it with my foot to the kid and he didn't say anything either. Best part was, as I still wanted the hard drive, and I turned to get back in the end of the line. At the same time the rep in charge of handing out the other items such as the hard drive asked who was next. The first two people in line just pointed at me, causing me to skip about five spots in line.
14. Ready, Aim, Fire
The number of cashiers who my father demanded the manager fire because they were too slow, rang us up wrong, etc., including one they actually did. I'll never forget that girl taking her Home Depot apron off and walking away sobbing. To his credit (I guess?), my dad seemed surprised that it actually worked. He must have felt at least some level of guilt, and never did it again.
15. Some People Shouldn’t Have Bank Accounts
“How can my checking account be overdrawn? I still have checks left.”
You meet a lot of stupid people as a bank teller.
16. Food Fight
I was 18 years old and worked at a local grocery store in the produce department. Beyond regular duties, we made fruit trays on weekends, nothing fancy, just a variety of cut-up fruit in large red bowls. Dude comes in after 10:00 PM—we close at 11—and asks for a tray with specific fruits. I tell him we, unfortunately, don't make custom trays.
The 16-year-old dude who is also on shift with me overhears and tells him it's slower tonight so he can do it for him. He says "Ok good," no gratitude displayed at all. This co-worker of mine is legit always extra kind to customers, it's admirable. 20 minutes later my coworker comes out of the back room and presents it to this customer.
He immediately starts screaming at him about how bad it looks. He yells things like "That looks like absolute trash! Are you an idiot!?" I run over to see what the problem is. The fruit tray looks absolutely standard but this guy isn't having it. He smashes it on the ground and keeps screaming about how we are stupid and how we have wasted his time.
I snap. I tell him to "get the heck out.” He postures up. Keep in mind this guy is like in his 40s, ready to fight some teenagers over a fruit tray. Numerous other employees run over and yell for him to get out. He says, "I'll be back for all of you idiots," and runs toward and out the sliding doors. All this is on camera luckily so management calls the cops regarding his actions and that last threat.
They ended up arresting him later on because apparently he also had some warrants. Hope the fruit was worth it, jerk.
17. Mr. Grumpy
I once worked at Kinko's, long ago. One dude was so angry, even as I started helping him. He asked for a bunch of copies, I made them and set them down in front of him. "How's that look?" I asked. "Well, you printed them upside down!" Guy was edgy. So I turned the stack of pages 180 degrees. The guy says: "… I don't like your attitude."
Some people are determined to be displeased.
Shutterstock
18. Mrs. Smartypants
I worked at a bookstore. We sold used and new books. This lady kept insisting that we were trying to scam her by labeling used books as new. She methodically unshelved two dozen or so books and brought them up to the counter, to argue one-by-one that they were actually used, not new. None of the books were used. We tried showing her that some were published literally three days ago, but she wasn't buying it.
I explained that the publisher chose to print the book on off-white pages with uneven page sizes, but she wasn't buying it. I said that the dust jacket just got dinged in shipment, it happens a lot, best I can do is 10% off, but she wasn't buying it. She'd do this nine or ten times, over the course of a month. She would come in, pick out about twenty books, bring them all up and argue that each and every one of them was used, and we were scamming people.
She'd involve other customers in the charade, get loud, and threaten to file complaints with the Better Business Bureau. Eventually, someone would have to give her a coupon or discount to get her to shut up so we could check out the rest of the customers and she'd leave. This persisted for the better part of a month, each time the ownership group declined to kick her out. Problem was, she was actually spending some money, even if she only paid 80% of what everyone else did, we still were making money.
Then she made a new hire cry. The assistant manager was late back from lunch, and discounts have to be approved by a manager. So she was holding up the line for ten minutes, calling the poor checkout girl all sorts of nasty things, questioning her intelligence. I was never so happy to kick someone out and tell them they're trespassing if they come back.
Lady was a massive pain, thought she was smarter and knew more about books than every single one of us.
Good e-Reader
19. If It Clucks Like a Chicken...
I once brought out an order of chicken parmesan to a lady at the restaurant I work at. The lady took one bite, called me over, and asked if there was really chicken in the chicken parmesan. I told her that of course there was. She immediately broke down crying because she is a vegetarian, and asked to speak to a manager.
20. Love, Money, or Mother?
I worked at Best Buy. I stopped in with my mom one day because she wanted to buy me the Star Wars DVD box set for my birthday. I had a huge, HUGE crush on the girl who was working the customer service counter. Well, the DVD set rang up $10 more than it was priced, and my mom deliberately didn't say anything until after the transaction.
Why? Well, so she could claim the freaking $5 Michigan Scan Law bounty. My crush didn't know how to process it and the manager was busy, so my mom tore into her about how it was her job and how she should understand how to do things. At my job. To a girl I liked. My life was misery for a while afterward.
21. Too Hot to Handle
I was working as an assistant general manager at a fast-casual restaurant. Some 40-something woman starts going off on my cashier. I round the corner from the desk to see her dump soup all over our front end cooler and knock a bunch of stuff on the ground. I tell my cook to call 9-1-1, say there is a woman causing a disturbance and breaking stuff, the address is next to the phone.
I walk up and stand behind the counter and put on my happiest manager face, so overly happy that it drove the woman even more into a fit. So raging cyclone Karen starts to knock stuff off the counter, throws two IBC root beers on the ground and starts yelling at another guest who tried to come over and defuse the situation. I hold out for another few minutes before two cops run in.
She has been screaming for a refund for 10 minutes at this point and breaking stuff. Cops walk in, I point at her and say "Get her out of my restaurant." She was arrested. Apparently, her soup was too hot. Thanks for the headache, Karen. I comped sevens meals of other guests, had to work a double because my cashier was in a state, and had to deal with the cops. Screw food service. So glad I'm out.
22. You’re a Mean One, Mrs. Customer
A lady told me that I had personally ruined Christmas for her children, because the store I worked at was sold out of Xboxes on the day she came in. She then told me that I should have kept some in the back. Umm, for what exactly? The off chance that some crazy lady would swing by last minute and demand one? The best part, though, was that she wanted me to call another store and check if they had any in stock.
She lost it when I told her that the next store was half an hour away and was closing in 10 minutes.
23. It's Called the Wii, Not the Me...
I worked at Target's electronics section in 2010 when Wiis were all the craze. Right before Christmastime, people would come in RIGHT when we opened, buy our whole stock and sell them online for double what they paid. This obviously prevented families from the ability to go to Target and just buy a Wii, so we made a rule that one person could buy 2 Wiis per day.
A man came in smiling like he won the lottery and said, "I'm buying all the Wiis you can give me." There was a long line of people behind him that looked outraged. I said, "Sir, the limit per customer is two Wiis." Him: "No...I got here first, so I'm going to buy what I asked for." Me: "Sir, I'm sorry that you feel that way, but I can only sell you two." Him: "Oh you're sorry? No, what you are is deaf because I already told you two times. Call your manager. NOW."
So our manager asked him to leave and he was yelling he was going to file a BBB report. I wanted to dive the counter and beat his greedy ass, but...you know...it's illegal and stuff.
Elle
24. If the Shoe Fits...
I'm a cake decorator. We recently had a customer pick up her cake which had a printed picture of a high heel shoe that she sent us, on top. She goes "what the %&^* is this" and starts flipping out. Banging on tables, screaming at the top of her lungs in front of other customers, trying to fight the owner, threatening to come back with a gun. We had to call the cops.
Turns out, she had wanted a life-like edible version of the shoe, not a printed picture. So all this, because when she ordered the cake she did not know the difference between 2D and 3D.
Imgur
25. Maternal Lockdown
I was 13 when this happened. My mom had made a reservation at a hotel for a trip, but when she got there the lady said there was some error with the reservation and that my mom’s payment didn’t go through, so the lady offered us a double bed room for a discount. Rather than just taking the room, thanking the lady, and leaving, my mom decided the best course of action would be to scream, in the middle of a hotel lobby, “NOBODY IS GOING ANYWHERE TIL I GET MY FREAKING ROOM!”
She then proceeded to pester the lady, who clearly couldn’t do anything about it, until eventually, she called the police on my mom for public disturbance. Mortifying.
26. Don’t Ask for Surprises
I was working in a frozen yogurt shop, and a customer requested that I “surprise” her with my choice of flavor and add-ons as well as the size. I created a medium chocolate topped with granola and rainbow sprinkles. She looked it over and said it was too small, too crunchy, unattractive, and oh, by the way, she was allergic to chocolate.
27. Remember Me?
I sold a guy a phone years ago when I worked for a wireless carrier. Spent an hour getting all his information transferred and set up his new phone. He comes in the next day with a shattered screen. Apparently, he didn’t remember that I was the rep who helped him and preceded to tell me that is how it looked when he left the store. Needless to say, the phone was not replaced.
28. Not From Our Part of the Milky Way
I used to work in a grocery store when I was younger. One afternoon, I hear a customer say "Excuse me" so I look up for a moment from stocking the milk, which I'm standing in front of. "Could you tell me where your milk is?" she asks me in a fully serious tone. I almost didn't answer her, milk is basically the whole aisle and I literally had it in my hands. Had she never seen what milk looks like before in her entire life? I honestly can think of no other possible explanation for this. What the actual heck could that have been??
29. Maybe the Real Horror Show Was Your Dad
Oh god. This all reminds me of my attempt at seeing Shaun of the Dead with friends in theaters. I was over 18, but didn't have ID, my friends were 17 or so, also without ID. Theater policy was you need ID to both purchase and enter the theater for R-rated movies. My dad bought the tickets and left, but then we couldn't get in because we had no IDs.
When my dad got back to the theater, he went freaking BERSERK and ranted at a frankly astonishing, window-rattling max volume about how this isn't Nazi Germany, and we don't need to show our papers every ten feet. He bought the tickets, that should be enough rah rah rah. It's a bit of a nonsense policy, but it doesn't deserve that kind of reaction, you know?
It was the most horrifying and embarrassing thing ever. I was trying to get the indignant rage beast to leave the theater and stop making a scene. It's one of the many reasons I do not visit him.
30. Face Facts: 17-Year-Old Ketchup is Going To Discolor
I worked at a grocery store around 2004 or 2005 and a customer brought in a bottle of Heinz ketchup and asked to return it because the ketchup inside the bottle was brown, not red. Customer service called me, the stock guy, to investigate. Not only were there no other bottles with the brown substance inside, Heinz had since changed the sizes of their bottles and we didn't even carry that particular size.
Finally, it hit me to check out the "sell by" date. It was in December of 1987! Needless to say, wherever she got the bottle (it wasn't my store, I'm suspecting she was cleaning out a rarely used pantry or something), we weren't allowing her to return it.
31. That’s the Best Excuse You Could Come Up With?
I remember working at a sporting goods store many years ago. I watched a middle-aged guy come in, grab a soft shell jacket from the rack, put it on, and walk out while the cashiers just kind of stood there stunned watching him. We didn't really expect him to just leave like that, so we were just frozen. The security tag was still on too, and the alarm didn't go off, so we were just like "...did he just steal that?"
When someone finally confronted him about it, he tried to claim that he had had it on when he came in. Yeah right...
32. Assault with a Deadly Appliance
My father works in a big store here in Italy, and he was at the return desk for a few years. A guy once showed up and wanted to give back a coffee machine well past the return period, so obviously, my dad said no. After a few minutes of arguing, this man raised the coffee machine and threw it at my dad, who miraculously avoided it.
He called the security and dude was arrested. It seemed just a "normal" aggression by a stupid customer but it was later discovered that he had a criminal record for assault and HAD A LOADED GUN IN HIS POCKET during the fight. My dad still gets shivers when he tells the story.
33. Anything You Can Do, She Can Do Better
I'm a female and I work in a video game store. One time, some guy walked right up to the counter and asked if there was a male around that he could speak to. At first, I thought that he had said manager, so I went to get my male manager. The guy’s mother then explained to me that he just didn't think that a girl would know what to do about his problem.
He refused to tell me the problem for over 10 minutes, as our manager was busy with something else and not ready to see him yet. When he finally gave in and described the problem, I was able to immediately tell him what was wrong straight up. He refused to believe me and insisted on waiting for the manager to come out. Finally, our manager came out a few minutes later, the guy explained the problem again, and our manager said the exact same thing that I had just said.
It was nothing short of pure bliss seeing this customer’s face register the fact that I knew more about his freakin’ Xbox than he did!
34. Taxes? How Do They Work?
I worked at a gas station. The customer walks in asks for cigarettes I ring them up. Guy flips his lid that I'm ripping him off. The sign clearly says $5.83 + tax. He wants to know why they are $6.15 or whatever sales tax adds to them. I then spent five minutes of my life explaining the intricacies of sales tax to a 42-year-old child.
35. Cat Got Your Tongue
I didn't work there, but I was behind this woman in line at my tiny town’s dollar store. She was buying a couple cans of milk supplement for kittens. However, she thought that it was actual cat milk, and was buying it to drink herself at some sort of fancy food party she was throwing for herself and a few friends. "Yeah, I done went to Kroger's and got me some fancy cheese and whatnot too!"
I had to leave the line because I was on the verge of bursting into laughter over the look on the cashier's face.
36. Water Volume
I had a customer say that I had placed her water glass too loudly on her table. The worst part? She was vocal enough about it that she actually ended up getting free food.
YouTube
37. She's Got it in the Bag
While working in retail, a woman came in demanding to speak to a manager. She was furious that we had not bagged one of the items she had paid for the day before. She claimed to have paid for four sets of boxers, but only found 3 in the bag. We looked up her receipt on our register and saw that we had only charged her for three. We even looked back at the security tape to see that she had only brought three to the register.
After giving her a call back saying that she had only purchased and paid for three, she blew up. Racial slurs, profanities, and threats were made about how we were all scamming her. 20 minutes later, she showed up at the store with her receipt to prove that she had paid for four. We counted together. One, two, and three.
Instead of accepting the obvious facts, she ripped up the receipt and reiterated that she had paid for four. She started knocking down clothes on our racks and then stormed out. The owner asked her not to come back again.
38. Read It or Weep
My mom REFUSES to show people at Walmart her receipt when we are leaving. It is annoying that they ask, like all of our stuff is bagged, c’mon. But she will fight them over it. She says she hates being treated like a criminal when she has clearly paid, and I get that I guess. But come on, just show the darn thing and we can leave.
But she’d rather stay and argue until they admit defeat.
39. Thrown Out Uncle Phil Style
I worked at a BBQ restaurant for my first job. We had a take out area where the customer can watch you cut the meat and pack the side dishes. The girl at the register rang up a quart of potato salad when the customer asked for pasta salad, so I pack potato salad. When the customer received his order he looked through it and flipped out when he saw potato salad and started screaming at me, go figure.
Unbeknownst to all of us the owner of the store heard the commotion and was on the other side of the swing door behind me, which had a small window. The angry customer decided to throw a quart of potato salad at me, which I ducked to avoid. It splattered against the window on the swing door as the owner was looking out of it. He burst through the door—he is 6'4” tall and very built—grabbed this scrawny dude by his shirt collar and he had straight fear in his eyes.
My boss literally threw him out the door. Went back to the register to ask the girl what his total was, grabbed the cash, and tossed it out the door at the angry customer as he was collecting himself off the ground. It was an awesome scene.
40. The Town Fryer
I worked at a fast food place for a while, and we had this one regular customer who would ALWAYS find something to complain about. Her favorite issue to complain about was the fact that, no matter what, our fries were NEVER fresh enough for her liking. Whenever we saw her coming in, we'd drop a fresh batch of them into the fryer just so that we wouldn't have to hear her complain about them.
She'd order, and we'd give her a package of fries directly from the fryer. Somehow, she would still tell us that they weren't fresh. What in the world? My manager would then apologize, take the fries from her, walk out of view, and bring back the same exact container to her a few seconds later. The lady would then say "these are perfect!" and move on with her day.
41. Fright Night Fight Night
I used to work at a haunted house. I worked both ends of the venue when it was slow. I would sell tickets and then jump into costume to scare. I was pretty good at my job. Family of three going through, pretty basic stuff. The father is jumpy but looks like he is having a good time, the mother and daughter are terrified.
I take advantage of one of my favorite spots towards the end to give them a good finishing scare. I jump out, yell, and then the daughter turns 180 degrees and runs face first into a wall. I take off my mask and radio my buddy to turn the lights all the way on. She is bleeding pretty bad but I can't tell if her nose is broken.
I escort them out to the lobby, grab the first aid kit, paper towels, instant ice pack, and a cold bottle of water. I start to apologize, but before I can finish the father goes all crazy on me. Starts off just yelling and poking me in the chest. Then it escalates to "WHY IS THAT WALL THERE" and shoving. The whole time his wife and daughter are telling him to calm down and that she is fine.
Being me, I laugh when he asked why a wall was there and he got really handsy. Backed off, told him if she was fine they could leave. "No buddy, I'm gonna kick your butt." I clocked out then and there and walked out to the parking lot. Still dressed as Jason Voorhees. Nothing ended up happening except him yelling at me more.
Oh, and some guy in the parking lot yelled "AWW GUYS, THIS DUDE ABOUT TO FIGHT JASON!"
42. Sick of Seeing Her
I was once managing two stores while one of our other managers was on maternity leave. That day, I had a terrible cold and there was nobody available to replace me. So, I went to the store, opened it up, and went to take a nap in the back, leaving everything in the hands of my salespeople. That same day, this one woman showed up who always seemed to be returning whatever she had last bought, whether or not there was anything wrong with it.
Lo and behold, that was the reason she had come in this time too—she wanted to return some clothes. She walked in and immediately demanded to speak to the manager, screaming about how the salespeople could not be trusted. That was a big mistake. Imagine my face, red with fever, not wearing any makeup, and hair undone. I was scary looking.
I took back the clothing from her, then escorted her out of the store saying that I never wanted to see her again. I angrily informed her that she was a waste of my time and that our store no longer cared about satisfying her feelings by taking back her unwanted clothing. A couple of weeks later, I was at the other store—and guess who I saw? Yup, that woman.
She took one look at me from outside the door and immediately started walking away. Don't mess with me when I'm sick.
43. You’re Coming With Me
I was at an Applebee’s with my grandma on like my 12th birthday. She and my aunt were just non-stop complaining about how cold their salads were and how it was taking ridiculously long. She ended up pounding on the table, DEMANDING she speak to somebody like she was freaking two. This was in a busy, crowded restaurant, and some poor girl who was already busy had to stop all she was doing to speak with my grandma.
She then started saying how the salad was so crummy and made a big scene. She couldn’t get a new salad for some reason I can’t remember, so then she yanked my arm, and as everyone stared at us, she said, “Come with Grandma! We’re gonna go to a place that has better service.” I was ssoooooooo embarrassed.
44. Low Fat, High Salt Diet
As a grocery store clerk, I was once berated for over 10 minutes because of the fat content in a piece of ham we were selling. This woman was absolutely adamant that ham "never had fat in it when I was a kid!" She demanded to know when they started adding all the fat into it. I just work here, lady.
45. Stickler for the Rules
I work at a Blockbuster and a few days ago I had a customer call in and ask for me to hold a copy of The Grey. At the time we didn't have any copies of the movie in the store and that they were all rented. The man sighed and began mumbling and grunting. He asked if I could check the dropbox for him, which I had already done. I told him I would double check but that the best time to call is right when we open, yadda yadda, blah blah.
He then began to call me names and that other employees held movies for him and that I "must be a reeeeal stickler for the rules" and he hung up on me. I'm assuming he thought that I wouldn't have held the movie for him if we had gotten a copy in—I would have. I wish I had the quick wit to snap back that, yeah, I was a stickler for the rules of life that say that if I don't have possession of something, I cannot set it aside for you.
46. The OTHER Phone Company
I worked in a T-Mobile store. A lady comes in screaming about how she bought a phone the previous day, didn't buy insurance, and dropped it in a pool. She was demanding I give her a new phone for free. But, she wasn't even our customer. She was a Verizon customer. She screamed at me for about 10 minutes demanding I call our manager.
She then started yelling at other customers about how awful we were, so we called the cops.
47. Thank Goodness for Paul Blart
My dad got escorted out of a mall by security and banned from the entire mall for making a sales assistant cry after shouting at her for about 30 minutes because they wouldn't fix my water-damaged phone. He's a jerk who thinks rules and policies don't apply to him, and that being aggressive and demanding will get him what he wants. I cut off contact with him a few years ago.
48. Playing a Prank on a Self-Proclaimed Leather Enthusiast
I was a furniture delivery guy in college. A woman ordered this high back red leather chair. We delivered it and she complained about the grain in the leather. We explained that leather is a natural product and bears irregularities. If she wanted uniformity, she should buy vinyl. She got insulted and informed us in no uncertain terms that she was well off and would only buy genuine leather.
We took the chair back to the store and exchanged it for the other one we had, a floor model. We brought that one out and she did the same thing, pointing out things in the grain that she disliked. We took it back to the store and asked the owner what to do. By then the chair was actually no longer made, so he told us to bring the first chair again. We delivered those same two chairs seven times. She never caught on and eventually decided she really liked the seventh chair. Which was, of course, the one she originally hated.
49. The Beginning of a Beautiful Friendship
A guy came into my store. I had never previously encountered him in my life. I served him at the checkout and all was well. No less than an hour after my shift, a notification pops up on my phone. This guy had found both my Instagram and my Snapchat and had added me. What's even more creepy is that the only thing he knew about me was my first name.
That was it. I had also only recently moved to the area, and knew nobody around there. That incident creeped me out for sure.
50. Food Fight
I was working at a sit-down chain restaurant when a group of teenagers fresh out of the last day of high school came in to celebrate. They even brought a cake with them, which isn't a big deal, except we don't allow that because we serve cake. One of the more level-headed ones talked to a manager and we decided to let it slide, even giving them extra plates.
All is going well until one of them pulls a flask out of his jacket and starts spiking everyone's drinks. Illegal (21 to drink in the good ole' USA), yes, but whatever. I thought If I let it slide I might get a better tip. Fast forward to about an hour later, when the cake is being cut up. These kids are borderline drunk now and one of them gets the bright idea to smush his cake into his friend's face.
This starts an all-out riot at the table, with drunk 18-year-olds throwing cake, half-eaten burgers, cups of Dr. Pepper and mysterious alcohols, and even silverware at each other. Our managers came out, but the policy is to not touch patrons at all (lawsuits), so we had to wait for the cops to come. They did eventually and took the lot of them away.
Since it was my table and servers bussed their own there, I was stuck with the job of cleaning up the remains. The cake was ground into the carpet, and the stains are still there. I spent maybe three hours making that section presentable again. The worst part was, since the kids were arrested, they didn't pay. I got no tip, registered $0 sales (manager comps don’t reflect in your total) for five hours of my shift, and later found out that one of the children's parents was suing the restaurant for not keeping a better eye on her ADULT son.
Nothing came of it, but still.
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51. Taxation Without Representation
I used to work at the front desk of a hotel. I once had a woman throw a complete temper tantrum because the state that we were in charged a six percent room tax. She absolutely DEMANDED that I remove the tax from her bill. I told her that we had no control whatsoever over taxes. She still wouldn't accept the reality of taxes, so I printed off the contact information for her state representative and told her to direct her complaints to them. She did not like that at all. She started screaming at me, so I got my manager. My manager basically repeated what I had already said.
The woman grabbed the bowl of mints on our counter, threw it at my head, and stormed out. We had her credit card on file and charged her for the full amount.
52. Tolerance Is Only For Those He Likes
I’d just come out to my parents. They’d never shown an ounce of homophobia before in their lives. We go for dinner at a nice restaurant and the restaurant accidentally put two steaks on our bill instead of one. My dad pointed this out to the waiter (who I’d gone to school with), and the waiter immediately apologized and fixed it.
Well, this just wasn’t good enough for my dad. He started shouting at the poor waiter about how terrible it was and how the restaurant was deliberately trying to rip us off, and then he demanded a discount. When the waiter apologized again and said he couldn’t do a discount, my dad asked to speak to the manager.
The manager came out, was berated by my dad as he said how incompetent the waiter was and how terrible the service had been (it was fine), and how the waiter was trying to rip us off. The (gay) manager told him that the problem had been promptly fixed, the extra steak was purely an accident, and he didn’t feel we deserved a discount.
That set my dad off into nuclear mode. He started screaming obscenities and homophobic slurs at the manager, threw the money down on the table without a tip, and stormed out. I was so embarrassed, I wished the ground would open up and swallow me whole. I quietly apologized as I left, but I couldn’t be too loud or long, because if my dad had heard me, he’d have turned his wrath on me.
53. No Wonder the Grocery Lines are Always So Long
As the cashier behind me finishes ringing up the customer's order for groceries (well over $100) the man yells at the cashier that the total is wrong. The register added incorrectly. The cashier and him went over EVERY ITEM to make sure nothing was the wrong price or double scanned. Everything scanned was correct; the machine just added incorrectly according to him. This poor lady had to clear out the order, which is a very difficult process, take everything out of the bags, and ring it up again. And yes, it came out to the same total.
54. Father (Doesn’t) Know Best
Building materials store. It was business to business, so not much retail I guess. This guy comes in with his son, wants to buy a $2,000 air tool. I pretty quickly recognize he’s going to attempt check/card fraud. Not a big deal, we get two to three a week for the same thing. But this guy wasn’t very good at it. He hands me a crap looking card.
I test the chip and doesn’t work. I can key in the numbers and process the sale if I want. So I know for sure now its fraud but I never accuse them, so I ask for cash. Most fraudsters can read my face and understand I know what they’re doing. Usually, they say they will go to the bank real quick and then they get lost. This guy starts getting aggressive.
I’m fed up so I look at his son. I ask him what his name is. John. Then I say, “John, when you grow up you don’t want to be stealing stuff like your daddy. And sucking at it, too.” Hoo boy.
55. Cleanup On Aisle Six
I work in a liquor store. One time, I watched a man who was carrying six bottles of red wine simply drop all six of the bottles to the ground, shattering them, and then proceed to just walk out of the store as if nothing had ever happened. His khaki pants were visibly stained bright red. He looked like some kind of a business casual savage warlord.
My assumption is that it had been an accident, and that he just left because he was horribly embarrassed. A part of me, though, wants to believe that it was all an intentional piece of performance art, because it was the most beautiful thing I have ever witnessed.
56. Cut out for Competition
I was working at a GameStop in 2010 on Black Friday. I saw a kid pull a plastic knife from the food court on another kid. I almost passed out laughing.
57. Baby, Baby, Baby, Ouch!
I used to work at a sandwich and wing place several years ago. I once had a woman order hot wings for delivery. After they were delivered, she called the restaurant enraged that "those hot wings made [her] baby cry!" The manager politely offered to send her mild ones instead, and didn’t bother to comment on the stupidity of feeding spicy chicken wings to a baby…
58. Slow and Steady Wins the Petty Race
I have a grandmother like this. When me and my sister were younger, we got drive-thru from McDonald's and they screwed up our orders. So Granny spent two and a half hours on the phone, going up the chain of command and reading the riot act to whoever picked up. Something you ought to know about Granny is that she talks a lot, and she talks very slowly, to the point where it's frustrating even when she's not tearing you a new one. I can only imagine how unpleasant the experience was for those on the other end.
59. Not Only Wrong, But Also Dangerous
We write software for scanning tickets at clubs. The software allows you to get a report of how many people were checked in overall. It's used to prove that the place isn't over capacity. A potential client wanted a secret button he could click that would lower the ticket count by 15% in case the fire marshal showed up.
60. Mr. Big Shot
I had a customer tell me I was a lazy piece of crap because I wouldn't grab his wife a flat cart. I was with another customer. He told me they were there to drop $400 on a lawnmower. I laughed and said, “Let me know when you plan on filling a trailer and dropping $20,000.”
61. Leaf Blower Versus Whistleblower
I had a crazy experience at a hardware store I used to work at. Some big dude parks his truck right by the entrance from the street, then walks in and shouts "WHERE ARE THE LEAF BLOWERS?!" I kindly tell him which aisle he can find them in. He proceeds to walk over, grab one, and then start walking out the front door.
I rushed over to him with a notepad in my hand and asked if I could see his receipt. He looks over at me and says something along the lines of "Nah, I paid up front! It's all good." So I kind of shrugged it off and let him go, but I wrote down a description of him as well as his car and license plate number. I called the higher-ups at my store and told them about what had happened.
Two days later, the lady I reported it to comes walking up to me in the store and says "They're arresting him right now. Like, right now." I head outside and watch it go down. Turns out that my stopping him to ask to see his receipt just so happened to cause the cameras to get a direct, clear shot of his face. As a result, companies will now be viewing the footage of the encounter as an example of how to properly deal with such situations.
62. Does Not Compute
Working at a sit-down chain Mexican restaurant, I had a customer present me with a Taco Bell coupon expecting my manager to honor it. I politely told the customer that Taco Bell was not even 2 minutes down the road and that we were in no way affiliated. Apparently, that response provoked this guy’s brain to fold in on itself and in a fit of rage he screamed for a manager and yelled that “This is America!”
63. A Steak in the Matter
I was a waiter at a small restaurant for a number of years. Our worst incident involved a group of six to eight guys, all in their late teens or early twenties. They went all out, ordering expensive drinks and cocktails. Everyone ordered a steak as their entree. One guy, who had seemed suspicious to me right from the start, ordered his steak medium well, with every sauce available.
They stayed for over two hours, racking up the bar tab after they had cleaned off their plates. Some of them were even literally licking their plates at one point. Well, they eventually called for the bill and I dutifully brought it over to their table. The suspicious guy pulled me aside and informed me that he would not be paying for his steak.
Intrigued, I asked him to explain. Apparently, in his opinion, the garlic butter was frozen, rendering the steak that he had happily wolfed down “completely inedible.” I looked him dead in the eye and said, “Dude, the garlic butter doesn't even stay in the freezer, there's no way it could've been frozen.” The guy took offense to this and demanded to see my manager.
I went to the back office and explained the situation to him. As we were going through the kitchen, he stopped and asked if their plates were still in the unwashed stack. They were, and every plate was empty. The manager and I walked back out to the table. He asked what seemed to be the problem. The guy pointed at me, saying that I had an attitude problem.
He demanded that his inedible steak be taken off the bill. The guy then explained that he goes to some of the best steakhouses in the city, and knows a lousy steak when he sees one. The manager then looks at our customer, looks over at me, turns back to the customer, and plainly says: “What kind of freaking moron orders all three sauces on one steak?”
A screaming match ensued, with the entire table telling the manager that he was an idiot. The manager told them to get the hell out of his restaurant.
64. Dine or Die?
I remember going on vacation with a friend and only then realizing that her parents treated waitstaff like trash. In one dinner, the mother reamed the waiter out because there was a hair on her MENU, and later accused him of trying to kill her diabetic husband because their iced tea was pre-sweetened (even though the menu obviously listed that Lipton raspberry iced tea that comes from a soda fountain).
65. Limited Supply
I worked at an electronic and appliance store that no longer exists but one day we got like 100 or so golf umbrellas. I don’t know why, but they were buying a bunch of random stuff those days. So we run a really good sale on them, for like $5. We got the sale from Friday to Sunday and we sell out by like late Saturday or early Sunday.
So on Sunday this guy comes in and wants one and absolutely loses his mind that we didn't have the cheap $5 umbrellas left. He started cussing out the staff and the manager had to finally tell him to get out.
66. Calling Out His Racism
I used to work in a call center doing tech support for a home broadband company. One member of my team, Victor, was a lovely fella. He was absolutely one of the nicest people I've ever met. He was also from Niger and had the thickest West African accent you've ever heard. Anyways, he was helping this one customer who just wasn't having it. The guy was flipping out left, right and center. He asked to speak to a manager, so I got pulled in:
Me: "Hello sir, what's the issue?"
Guy: "This idiot I've been talking to refuses to fix my broadband!"
Me: "Well, sir, Victor has just told me about the issue, and it seems that you will need an engineer to come and take care of it in person."
Guy: "AND ANOTHER THING, why am I speaking to an Indian?"
Me: "I beg your pardon?"
Guy: "Why am I speaking to an Indian?"
Me: "You're not, sir, I'm English."
Guy: "Not you, the idiot before! He was Indian!"
Me: "Well, not that it's important, but Victor is actually African."
Guy: "Pfft, they're all the same color anyway!"
It was at that point that I hung up and forwarded the call to our legal department. Screw that guy!
67. Hot Tea
I used to work in a very trendy teahouse in the cultural/arts/LGBTQ/bar scene part of my town. This was all well and good, but unfortunately, the unique nature of the cafe combined with this weird draw we had on teenagers led to a lot of people coming in from the wealthier conservative side of town—presumably coming for bars or hearing about it from their kids.
One day, this man came in wanting our silver needle white tea, iced. I asked if he wanted it sweetened rather hesitantly, as sweetening a white tea, especially to the degree he said he wanted, meant you pretty much lost all flavor. All of it. I warned him and he insisted, so naturally, I obliged. We brewed teas as they were ordered, so there was generally a five-minute wait.
Two minutes in he starts pestering us, we explain ourselves and he starts drumming on the counter. His drinks go out: two for one guy—yes he seemed to be drinking both. He tastes both, pushes his way past the line to me at the register, and yelled that it tasted like water. I began trying to explain that white tea is subtle and offering to make a less-sweetened one when he uncaps the cups and quite literally threw two teas onto me.
Two girls seated near the register promptly ran out and my equally terrified coworker rushed to refund him (against policy) while he shouted at us for being terrible at our job, etc., etc. At closing, we got in trouble for refunding him.
68. The Midas Touch
A customer at self-checkout spent five minutes trying to scan an item. She then called me over and rudely yelled at me about our lousy machine being broken. I walked over and pressed start. Voila, it was magically fixed!
69. When Being Wrong Turns Into Assault
I used to work in a patisserie and this guy ordered a Noah's Ark cake. My boss made these cute little fondant animals going into an ark on the sides of the baby blue cake. The customer came to pick it up and as soon as he looked at the cake his nose scrunched up and he frowned. He said, “This cake looks absolutely horrible, I demand a refund!” He had prepaid.
I called my boss several times, but no answer, and I told him I could hold onto the cake until my boss was free and could call him back personally. He starts yelling at me (a minimum wage cashier) and demanding his refund. I told him I wasn't able to because of my position and tried calling my boss again. He continued yelling, I asked him to calm down or I would have to ask him to leave.
He yelled back at me one more time, “I want my FREAKIN’ refund!” To which I told him again I couldn't do. So his response was to open the cake box, remove the cake, and throw it at me. I ducked, it hit the wall, and I told him in no small way that he wouldn't get his refund back and if he didn't leave I would call the cops.
The next day he called the patisserie and demanded to talk to my boss, she told him that since he threw the cake at her employee and that he wouldn't just relax and let her call him back he wouldn't get his cake and was permanently banned from the establishment.
70. I Threw It on the Ground!
A couple of years ago my phone broke, and my dad was taking me to Walmart to get a new one. Got there, and it turns out their phone section had been bought out by a company or something, and that it wouldn't be reopened for another couple of months. Whatever, no big deal to me, we could just go to a phone store in the mall.
NOPE. My dad throws my broken phone on the floor and starts stomping on it, telling these people what a "crock of manure" their store is, and that they should have it very clearly advertised that their phone department was closed. He demanded to talk to a manager about it. As I was walking away in pure embarrassment, he yells. "OY, WHERE YOU GOING?"
I died a little that day.
71. Oh, Man!
Several years ago, I worked as a supervisor at a call center. It’s important to note that I’m a woman. This jerk of a customer was once referred to me because he wasn't happy with the answer he was given by one of my workers. He asked me for the "manager" again. I told him that I was the manager. He said "I said I wanted the manager. M - A - N, manager! Now give me somebody with short hair and a tie!"
I hung up immediately. Then I secretly died of laughter.
72. Now Listen Here Young Man!
I work at a movie theater. There were four preteen boys who were causing trouble. Sneaking into movies, one wouldn’t put a shirt on, and they took an empty popcorn container and went to me for a refill as I was closing the popcorn counter. They had been asked to leave multiple times.
“Give me a refill.”
“I’m not giving you a refill tonight.”
“Why not?”
“You were asked to leave here already. I’m not going to give you any popcorn.”
“Just give me the popcorn.”
“No.”
He looked at me and chucked the popcorn container at me.
I looked at him and screamed in my most convincing angry mom voice, “Don’t throw things at me and get out of here right now!” It got the attention of the other manager who was able to call security to escort them out.
73. Undercut by Corporate
In college, I worked for a kitchen/bath/bedding superstore. There was a special on high-end pots and pan sets. Essentially, if you bought a particular set ($250ish) you got an accompanying pan for one cent. The signage was very clear that the bonus pan was only a penny if you bought the full set. It was in large print. I was a cashier, and I rang up the pan for the regular price ($75) because she didn't have the set.
She immediately exploded and said the pan was on sale for one penny. I didn't work in that department but knew that was BS. I call the manager up, who calmly explained what the special was. She said we were trying to scam her, and manipulate customers, and actually made us call corporate because we were too “stupid to understand the sale.” After she and my manager spoke to someone, corporate said to give her the pan for a penny and tell her we appreciated her business.
I, to this day, remain angry that the woman was rewarded for throwing a hissy fit.
74. Read the Labels Correctly, Ma’am
I'm a pharmacy technician and one time a patient told me her doctor said she could not have Tylenol, but acetaminophen was fine. They're the same thing! Tylenol is just the brand name. She was convinced I was wrong.
75. World’s Worst Man
I work at a McDonalds in Australia. A few Fridays ago there was probably the most inconceivable act I’ve ever witnessed by a customer. A lady and her elderly mother came through the drive-thru. They had to wait for fresh food and so we asked them to park to the side. They decided, while parked, to get dessert as well, so the lady came inside to order.
When she was served, she also received her order from before. Another customer waiting on food thought that she had just come into the restaurant and got her food before he did when he'd been waiting (approximately eight minutes) so he gets angry. This guy abuses everybody in the store. Customer, crew, manager, and this lady.
She tries to leave, so the guy goes out to her car, opens the door, pulls her elderly mother from the passenger seat and beats her. He beat an elderly woman. Because he had to wait 8 minutes. For McDonald’s. What really got me is that he could have destroyed her quality of life, for the rest of her life. From what I could gather she was quite fragile.
It makes me angry to think she might never fully recover from something like that.
76. Not a Frisbee
My dad's always been a bad influence on well…everyone, but one day when I was 13 my Minecraft disc got scratched and was unreadable. So, we went to GameStop with the express purpose of just getting the copy returned, except we were over the warranty by 4 days. My dad threw the disc at the cashier and stormed out (without getting me a new copy, I may add). Yeah, there's a reason I've booked a one-way flight 6,600 miles away from that guy.
77. The Price of Rum Cake
I used to work at a place where one half was a bakery and the other half was a cafe/restaurant. My job was basically to chill behind the pastry counter and get cookies, cakes, pastries, or bread for people. One day this really old lady came in, like she was ancient, and she approaches me by the pastry counter and asks how much a baba rum costs.
So I told her that it was $2.50 and she starts screaming at me "LIAR!" It really took me by surprise, and then as soon as she had flipped out she returned to normal and started asking me the prices of other things we had. Every time I told her the price she would start freaking out and say that I was lying to her, but then other times she'd gently say "Oh wow! It's only that much? What a great deal!"
So she ends up back by the baba rum and asks how much it is. I tell her what I told her before, $2.50. This time she's like "Okay, I'll take it!" So I'm putting it in a box for her (and by this time my manager had kind of been drawn out of her office because of all the yelling and is just standing by) and the lady goes, "CUT IT! I WANT YOU TO CUT IT!" so I asked her if there was a specific way she wanted me to cut it and she responds "YOU GOOD FOR NOTHING CRACK-PIPE WOMAN, GO BACK TO SCHOOL!"
Mind you this was a summer job so I was just like... what? But yeah, my manager decided to intervene then and tell the lady she had to calm down and she couldn't treat the employees like crap and that if she wanted to stay she would have to relax. Thankfully, the lady decided to go to the other half of the place, the cafe section, and she began bothering those poor waitresses about her coffee.
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78. Don’t Drink and Dine
I work in a Dutch 24/7 gas station. This German kid—20-25 years old—came in the shop drunk, while driving. Looked for beer, which we are not allowed to sell, and got mad that I hid the beers. He wanted to start a fight and he wanted to drive off in his car. That was impossible since I locked the door and alerted the cops. He lost his driver’s license and got a huge fine, which he had to pay instantly.
What a jerk.
79. Bad Son
A man and his mother always used to come into the café I used to work in, and he always was a bit strange, but a nice guy, and he'd talk with everyone, myself included, when he came in. One time, though, he came in with his mother, and his mother asked him to buy her a cup of tea because she'd left her money at home. He kept saying “No, no, I don't want to, I don't want to.”
His mother was being perfectly reasonable, and she asked him politely again, at which point he took the bag he was holding and flung it across the room, almost hitting a baby. The owner told him to leave and he did, but just as he was going out the door, he turned around again and began yelling incomprehensible things at the owner and hit him in the face.
The owner pushed him away, and with such force that he actually fell back onto his mother. THEN they left.
80. Just Play the Hits!
I work at a concert venue. I had a customer call the day after the show wanting a refund because the artist did not play his favorite song during the show.
81. Parting Gifts
I worked for Best Buy for 6 years. Everyone knows about the lines that you stand in outside on Black Friday. Part of the process is once you get into the store, you stand in another line to buy your products. Our manger thought he was particularly smart winding the line through our appliance department. Mind you, there is usually 1,500+ people in the building at 6 AM (with a line still outside).
Well, we get a complaint from one of our patrons. After checking the dryers, we find a nice turd in one. Good size, solid consistency, just sitting there. A lady who did not want to lose her spot opened the dryer and pooped right there in front of everyone. I decided that day even though I may want stuff, I will never poop in front of an entire crowd of people for a $799 50" plasma TV.
82. In the Garden of Pettiness
I grew up in a smaller town right on the cusp of its big growth boom. We knew our town had finally made it when we got an Olive Garden. We used to eat there 2-3 times a month. My mom and I would always split an entree, and my dad would get his own. We knew the rule: if you’re splitting an entree and you get more than one of the family-style bowls of salad, you’ll get charged an extra $4 for the extra person.
Welllll one day, my dad decides he wanted more salad. Only he wants the additional salad, but the waitress said if she refills the bowl, we'll be charged the extra $4. Lo and behold, my parents' threw the biggest tantrum because only HE wanted the additional salad. They demanded to speak to a manager, and the manager explained the rule (which we knew), but offered to comp the extra salad just to get my parents to stop yelling...and they did.
When our bill came, the manager comped my dad’s entree and the additional salad fee. Well, my mom got up. Interrupted the manager while he was talking to other guests, threw the check in his face, and asked, “What’s this?!?!” She was furious that he comped my dad’s meal. He ate the meal, therefore we would like to pay for it.
She wouldn’t stop raising her voice until she was allowed to pay for the meal (but not the salad). The manager was confused but obliged...when they brought the change, the manager slipped a few free appetizer coupons. My mom ripped them up and threw them on the ground as she left. Safe to say, I didn’t eat out with them for at least a month and I still refuse to go to Olive Garden with them.
83. Bad Burger
I’ve posted these before, but gosh darn it, they're still relevant. I worked at a crummy not-chain burger shop off of a highway in high school. A lot of the customers were horrible, and so was the owner/manager. A man comes in and orders a burger. He pays and walks out of the store. He always has some scam going, and constantly tries to con food out of us. He has money but just loves stealing/scamming. He lets it sit in the hot table for like a half hour, and comes back. "I DIDN'T ORDER IT WITH MAYO, I'M ALLERGIC TO MAYO."
He throws the now-rock-hard burger in my face so hard it gives me a black eye. My boss chases him out of the store trying to beat the snot out of him. He showed up a few days later and tried to pull another scam then freaked out on us. Ad Infinitum. He was a source of lots of laughs and head-scratching moments. Dude did NOT give up.
A woman comes in from one of the nearby motels. She orders a strawberry shake and takes it into the bathroom. She's in there for like a half hour. We don't see her leave, but someone screams, and we check the bathroom. it's COVERED in strawberry shake and blood. Even the ceiling. I clock out and leave. Jerk bosses and their jerk wife cleans it all.
Weird disgusting guy comes in and rants about boobs and porn and other disgusting stuff constantly. I mean like REALLY obscene stuff in front of senior citizens and four-year-old kids. It's like a freaking sketch comedy setup. Makes all the other customers angry. You can never call him out. He always orders like $90 of our nasty food.
He always talks about how hot his wife and daughter are in a really gross way. One day he comes in with his family, and his wife looks like a model, so do his daughter and son, and they're all nicely dressed. And of course, they all laugh and play along with his nasty stuff. There's way, way more. I could go on forever. Fights broke out in the lobby a few times, another weird woman stole the tip jar that had like $4 in it and actually ran off Zoidberg-style making weird noises, etc.
84. I Can’t See the Logic in This
Last night, a customer asked me if he could borrow a pair of reading glasses from our store, take them home for the night, and then bring them back tomorrow. He even promised to leave all the tags on. Unfortunately, I had to say no.
85. Fool Me Once
I worked at a pawn shop for a couple of years. We had a customer pawn a chainsaw, which turned up stolen and was confiscated by police, which causes the store to lose money and police to be aware that he is a known thief. He came back something close to three months later to pawn something else. I didn't recognize him right away.
I asked him if he had pawned anything before and he said yes, so I asked his last name and entered it into our computer system, which promptly said STOLEN. First I thought, "Really? You came back here?" I gave my boss—it's literally a two-person store—our not very frequently used signal to discreetly call the police.
Meanwhile, I started acting like I was working on his loan and stalled a bit. Just a couple minutes later, a couple of police cars pulled up and officers quietly walked in and he immediately gave up. I didn't really have to say anything to him. The handcuffs spoke for themselves.
86. Moms Say the Darndest Things
I dealt with a lot of dumb crap as a camp director but there’s one moment that always sticks out in mind. I had a mother come roaring up to me with murder in her eyes. Having introduced myself to the families less than an hour before, she knew I was an authority figure in the camp. She is irate over the fact that her son told her other campers were using foul and distasteful language in front of her son.
Assuming the worst I ask which words were used and she leans forward to me and whispers, “Fart, balls, and butthole.” Without trying to laugh I tell her I will discuss it with the staff. Did I mention that her son was 15 years old?
87. If You’re That Particular, You Shouldn’t Eat Out
I worked at a popular café, so we would get stupid stuff all the time. My two favorite moments:
Once had a man flag me down and start shouting about this “weird worm” in his savory pie. I took a quick look at the pie and noticed it was actually a piece of onion. After a couple of minutes of calming the man down, I ask him what sort of pie he ordered. Sure enough, he ordered beef and onion. He had me swap his half-eaten beef and onion pie for another beef and onion pie because of a piece of onion he thought was a worm.
Another time I was delivering a large tray of food to a table. Everything was going fine. As I'm about to walk away the older guy at the table grabs my attention and asks, “Is this cheese sandwich dairy free?” I respond, “As far as I'm aware we don't do dairy-free cheese, so no.” He replies, “No, I mean does it have any milk products in.” “Yes, it's got cheese and butter in it,” I say.
“Well, can you bring me it back without the dairy products?” he asks. I clarify, “You want your cheese sandwich without any dairy products?” and he responded, “Yes.” I promptly returned it to my manager, let her know the situation and said: "good luck figuring that one out."
88. Take a Nap, Nanna
When I was around ten years old, my grandmother went out and got us (her, my brother, and myself) McDonald's for lunch. We got home and we didn't have napkins in the bags. No big deal, right? We have paper towels and napkins in the house. Also, me and my brother are pretty good with not making any messes while we eat.
Nope. Grandmother got us in the car, drove back to McDonald's, demanded a manager, and screeched about how upset she was that we didn't get any napkins. I wanted to just melt into the floor and disappear. It's just napkins, Nanny...
89. Show Me the Money
A sign was accidentally left up in our shop from earlier in the week advertising men’s Levi's as “Buy one, Get one half off”—so for two pairs, it would be roughly $90. The current sale was to get two pairs for $70. I had a lady pitch an absolute fit over the fact that we weren’t ringing her pants up as “buy one, get one half off.”
She claimed that we were ripping her off, even though she was paying less this way. The cashier tried and tried to explain to her that we had accidentally missed a sign, but that she was actually getting a better deal at the current price. She wouldn’t have any of it. She demanded to speak to the manager. The store leader comes out and tells her the exact same thing, but the lady still will not listen and is adamant about getting them at the price on the sign. The store leader finally gives up and tells me to just go ahead and do a price override, and charge her the extra money.
The lady leaves smugly, like she thinks she’s just worked us over big time, and makes some stupid comment on her way out about how I need to learn to listen to customers in the future.
90. Have Fun Eating That
When I worked at Sam's Club, during the madness one Saturday morning, we caught a woman stuffing the inside of her pants with frozen lobster tail. She would unpackage them and throw the trash in a stack of tires that were on display.
91. Gobble Gobble
Having owned a grocery store for many years I've had some great and some really insane customers. The one that sticks out the most was a lady around Christmas time. She bought a frozen turkey from me and left happy as could be! A few days later she comes storming back into my store, she proceeded to throw this bag of turkey at me and starts tearing me apart for the subpar turkey.
"This turkey was so terrible I couldn't cut it, and when I did it tasted awful," this went on for a while, "I had my whole family there for dinner and this turkey ruined the entire meal" blah blah blah...As I took the turkey out of the bag to check, I noticed that she had managed to cook the thing in the plastic wrap that all frozen turkeys come in. Even after pointing this out to her, I was still the bad guy.
I couldn't win... after that we referred to her as the crazy turkey lady!
92. Straight to the Point
This guy comes in with a coupon for a free iPod. The fine print says: "Guaranteed and payable by Bill Gates." I asked why Bill Gates would guarantee an Apple product. The guy left.
93. Logic Foiled by Entitlement
When I worked at EB Games and we would have those “3 for $40” sales. A guy brought up a single game from that section and it scanned for $49.95. I think I'm about to make the guy’s day and tell him he can pick two extra games and I'll charge him 10 bucks less. He says “I don't care about the other games, just make it 10 less.”
I explain that I can't do that and I need to scan three games to apply the promotion. I tell him he's welcome to give the games away if he wants, or he can trade them right back in for some store credit the next time he wants something. Nope. I tried one more time when he just starts yelling, “I’M TAKING THIS GAME FOR FORTY DOLLARS AND YOU CAN BUZZ OFF IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT!”
He slaps two twenties on the counter, snatches the game out of my hands and storms out. So I went and picked out two games I wanted, scanned them and a copy of the one he just ran off with and processed the sale.
94. Oldest Trick in the Book
Today is March 2, 2019. I work at a restaurant. I had a customer come in today with a bill from November 26, 2018, demanding a refund because her pizza was not good.
95. Demanding the Stolen Goods
As I was walking in for my shift, there was a car stopped right in front of the doors. Next thing I know, I'm walking up on a guy carrying about ten pairs of shoes out of their boxes as he's running out of the store at full speed and basically Superman jumped into the car. They sped off and the sales associates were all kinda staring at each other going "What just happened?"
Later on that night, dude came back wearing a pair of the shoes he stole and his hoodie still had one of our security tags on it, so he set off the alarm when he walked in. They followed him around for a bit. Eventually he made a run for the door and a loss prevention associate grabbed the hoodie on his way out, hoodie came off and dude kept running into the parking lot. We were almost at closing time anyway so they locked the doors behind him.
THEN, this mad man came back to beat on our glass doors to demand "his" hoodie back. He'd also inadvertently lost one shoe and he needed that back as well. We obviously refused and HE called the cops. They were very amused with the situation when they got there. I don't think he went to jail though.
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96. You're Fired
I was 19 shopping with a friend. She was (still is) a smaller person than myself. She was trying on a shirt and needed a size up so i took it back out to find a bigger size. I couldn't locate it so I ask a sales girl if she could help me find a bigger size. She takes the shirt in a gruff way. I ignore it. She comes back with a hat and hands it to me. I say, "Um what's this?"
She said, "This is the only thing in this store that will fit you", contempt dripping from her lips. I'm like, oh I see. I go to the dressing room, tell my friend we need to leave now. She gets dressed. Tries to clean her mess I tell her leave it. We walk out, I go to the register with the hat, it's busy. My friend asks what's up with the hat. I say loudly, "
According to that girl this is the only thing in the store that fits me." My friend, shocked, lost her mind. Because her parents owned the store. That's how I got a girl fired because I was feeling petty. Saw that girl later that week where I worked. I smiled and showed her what customer service should be.
97. Trying to Scam A Well-Meaning Offer
We have a policy in the bakery that police, firefighters, EMTs, etc., get their first item free. So if a cop comes in for a slice of pie and a drip coffee, we'll charge them a buck for the coffee and gets the pie for free, or if a paramedic comes in and wants half dozen donuts, we'll only charge them for 5, whatever. Only thing is, you have to have proof. Most people take advantage when they're on the clock/just got off, so we don't even bother asking them because we can see their uniforms, but everyone has some sort of ID that they can flash when they're not, so it's a non-issue.
One day we had a cop come through, full uniform, and we gave him a slice of cake and a latte. He's one of our regulars, so I talk to him for a bit, he asks after my business partner, I ask about what his shifts been like, the usual. He goes to sit down and this couple ask why he got only got charged $3. I tell them our policy, and they tell me one of them is a cop and the other is a detective in a small city in our state. I tell them that's nice, but we only have it open to people that work in our city and the surrounding areas.
They freak out like absolutely lose their cool. And then they demand to speak to the manager. I am the owner, and tell them that. They insist that there's no way I could be, and tell me I'm lying, then demand to see the real manager. This goes on for a bit, until finally my cop buddy stands up, and asks to see their badges. They both sputter about it for a minute or two, and he firmly asks to see them again.
Neither one of them had their badges on them. He asks to see any ID proving that they are what they say they are. They have none. He looks at me and says, “They're lying about who they say they are, and I sure as heck suggest you don't serve them.” And they scurried out with their tails between their legs.
98. Real Smooth
I waitressed in high school. This happened when I was 16 or 17. A guy came in to eat with his family—a little girl and his pregnant wife. They were really, really friendly and at first, I thought it was a great table. The wife went to the bathroom and the guy asked for the check.
On the check, he wrote his phone number in the tip area along with "Call me, baby". I ran his card, waited until his wife came back, and brought over the guy's card and his receipt. I handed the receipt to the pregnant woman and told her something was wrong with the tip. She got SUPER upset and I got in a lot of trouble with my managers for stirring the pot.
In retrospect, I probably didn't handle that the best way, but at the same time I was furious that some guy would come to eat with HIS PREGNANT WIFE—they were both wearing wedding bands, acting couple-y, 99% positive they were married, pretty much 100% confirmed when I gave the wife the receipt with the guy's "tip" on it—and try to hit on a girl half his age. If he's pulling that stuff so brazenly, god knows what else he's doing behind his wife's back.
99. Eat Your Words
A while ago I decided to treat myself to some Burger King. I was having a bad day and had a headache coming on. So I was waiting in line at the BK, when suddenly this woman comes in with a monster of a child. He was out of control, screaming, punching his mother, throwing things around. The mother didn't pay any attention to him and he continued yelling, "I want a PIE."
My headache turned into a full-blown migraine. I calmly turned and asked if she could please calm her child down. Immediately she got up in my face, telling me to mind my own business. I nodded and turned around, when the child cried out again how he wants a pie. I then decided to ruin their day in the most devious way I could think of. When I got to the front of the line I asked the person at the register how many apple pies they have left. They told me and I bought all of them. I ate one and made sure the kid saw me throw the rest in the trash.
100. Temper Tantrum
I used to work at a very popular lingerie store. It was just after Christmas and we had a ton of customers—people returning things to use gift cards that they had received. I'm working at the registers when this lady comes up to the counter and says that she wants to return a bra that she bought. She had the receipt, but the bra was clearly used so I was hesitant to let her return it.
But my manager just said to do it, so, following the return policy, I told her that I could put the money back on the debit card she had used to pay for the bra. She had been polite up until then. But then she started screaming "NO! I WANT CASH!" I was pretty surprised but tried to calmly explain to her that I couldn't do that because the computer wouldn't let me.
I didn't have the authority to override the return system. She starts screaming "I JUST WANT MY CASH!" The manager comes over and tries to resolve the issue, but still, the woman keeps yelling "YOU TERRIBLE, INCOMPETENT PEOPLE, GIVE ME MY MONEY!" over and over. Finally, she throws the unwanted bra in my managers face and storms out. I thought it was over...but boy, was I wrong.
After she leaves, the computers stop working. I guess because we had been trying to override the return system, we had messed something up because it would no longer accept debit or credit cards at all. Then about ten minutes later she comes back, walks right up to my register and hands me a debit card. Knowing the response I was going to get, I calmly informed her that the computers were no longer accepting debit cards.
Good god, the stuff she yelled at me. I just stood there silently nodding and apologizing every now and then while she just yelled and yelled and yelled. After she left, the other customers in line all gave me thumbs up and said stuff like, "Hey, she was crazy. Don't worry about it." Worst day of my whole time working there.
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