“The Customer is Always Right” is an old adage often repeated at training sessions around the world. But if you were to ask any person who has worked in retail or customer service their thoughts on the phrase, they’ll most like you tell it’s baloney and that more often than not, “The Customer is Usually Wrong and Entitled.” As these Reddit users demonstrate, customers are not always right, are prone to cover up their errors and become incredibly unreasonable when confronted with the truth.
1. Putting More Money in Ronald’s Pockets
I used to work at McDonald’s. A woman came in and ordered a Big Mac, fries, and a drink, so I put her order in as a Big Mac combo. since it is cheaper than getting those three things separately. She then proceeded to scream at me claiming that I am ripping her off and charging her for something she didn’t even order. My manager then proceeded to simply charge her for those three things separately and she ended up paying more.
2. Logic Foiled by Entitlement
When I worked at EB Games and we would have those “3 for $40” sales. A guy brought up a single game from that section and it scanned for $49.95. I think I’m about to make the guy’s day and tell him he can pick two extra games and I’ll charge him 10 bucks less. He says “I don’t care about the other games, just make it 10 less.”
I explain that I can’t do that and I need to scan three games to apply the promotion. I tell him he’s welcome to give the games away if he wants, or he can trade them right back in for some store credit the next time he wants something. Nope. I tried one more time when he just starts yelling, “I’M TAKING THIS GAME FOR FORTY DOLLARS AND YOU CAN BUZZ OFF IF YOU DON’T LIKE IT!”
He slaps two twenties on the counter, snatches the game out of my hands and storms out. So I went and picked out two games I wanted, scanned them and a copy of the one he just ran off with and processed the sale.
3. If You’re That Particular, You Shouldn’t Eat Out
I worked at a popular café, so we would get stupid stuff all the time. My two favorite moments:
Once had a man flag me down and start shouting about this “weird worm” in his savory pie. I took a quick look at the pie and noticed it was actually a piece of onion. After a couple of minutes of calming the man down, I ask him what sort of pie he ordered. Sure enough, he ordered beef and onion. He had me swap his half-eaten beef and onion pie for another beef and onion pie because of a piece of onion he thought was a worm.
Another time I was delivering a large tray of food to a table. Everything was going fine. As I’m about to walk away the older guy at the table grabs my attention and asks, “Is this cheese sandwich dairy free?” I respond, “As far as I’m aware we don’t do dairy-free cheese, so no.” He replies, “No, I mean does it have any milk products in.” “Yes, it’s got cheese and butter in it,” I say.
“Well, can you bring me it back without the dairy products?” he asks. I clarify, “You want your cheese sandwich without any dairy products?” and he responded, “Yes.” I promptly returned it to my manager, let her know the situation and said: “good luck figuring that one out.”
4. Moms Say the Darndest Things
I dealt with a lot of dumb crap as a camp director but there’s one moment that always sticks out in mind. I had a mother come roaring up to me with murder in her eyes. Having introduced myself to the families less than an hour before, she knew I was an authority figure in the camp. She is irate over the fact that her son told her other campers were using foul and distasteful language in front of her son.
Assuming the worst I ask which words were used and she leans forward to me and whispers, “Fart, balls, and butthole.” Without trying to laugh I tell her I will discuss it with the staff. Did I mention that her son was 15 years old?
5. Some People Shouldn’t Have Bank Accounts
“How can my checking account be overdrawn? I still have checks left.”
You meet a lot of stupid people as a bank teller.
6. Just Play the Hits!
I work at a concert venue. I had a customer call the day after the show wanting a refund because the artist did not play his favorite song during the show.
7. Don’t Ask for Surprises
I was working in a frozen yogurt shop, and a customer requested that I “surprise” her with my choice of flavor and add-ons as well as the size. I created a medium chocolate topped with granola and rainbow sprinkles. She looked it over and said it was too small, too crunchy, unattractive, and oh, by the way, she was allergic to chocolate.
8. A 60 Person Walk-In is A Stampede
A lady comes into our restaurant, an hour before closing time, and announces she’s having her bridal shower of 60 people come into our restaurant in about 15 minutes from now. We tell her we’ll do our best to accommodate them but we already have a wedding party in our private room, which only seats 50 anyways, but we’re happy to accommodate her group in the regular area, warning her that we aren’t set up to just immediately feed this number of people, this late at night, all at once.
I heard her say, “Well, this is ridiculous, I sent out invitations to my guests two months ago!” My manager replied, “Well we didn’t get one of those, you’ve made no reservation, and we’ll do what we can to feed your group but the meals are not going to come out at the same time.” She starts having a hissy fit about us “ruining her dinner.”
She was being rude enough that manager then informed her that we’d love to help her but a party this large, at no notice, at the end of the night would require a 30% mandatory tip, and we would only stay open long enough to serve their food plus 20 minutes to eat.
She stormed out, and a lot of her party ended up just eating dinner at our restaurant (we didn’t enforce the required tip for them), because they had no other option. Most tipped at least 20% anyways. Several of them left glowing reviews for how accommodating we were and how great the staff was and how much they enjoyed the food.
9. Not Having the Support of Your Boss is So Dispiriting
At the Blockbuster I used to work at, this woman would repeatedly rent games and keep them until they cycled out of inventory and she would get charged for them. Then she would complain about the charges, stating she returned the game weeks ago. My doormat of a boss would always remove the charges, and then the game would magically be in the drop box the very next day.
This happened all the time with this lady. I even commented on her account every time it happened. Finally one time, I refused to remove the charge and told her I was sick of her petty game. She called my boss, he listened to my side of the story, told me to remove her charges, and the next day the game was in the drop box. I told him it happened again and he transferred me to a different location.
Fast forward a few months and the woman’s 10-year-old daughter comes into my new store to rent American Pie. Sorry kid, you need an adult to come in and rent this for you. She goes out to her mom, who I can clearly see through the window, tells her what I said, and I get the most evil glare I have ever seen as she throws her car into reverse and leaves without a movie.
10. This Takes the Cake
I’m a cake decorator. We recently had a customer pick up her cake which had a printed picture of a high heel shoe that she sent us, on top. She goes “What the hell is this” and starts flipping out; banging on tables, screaming at the top of her lungs in front of other customers, trying to fight the owner, threatening to come back with a gun. We had to call the cops.
Turns out, she had wanted a life-like edible version of the shoe, not a printed picture. So all this, because when she ordered the cake she did not know the difference between 2D and 3D.
11. State Your Food Allergies Up Front!
I work at a food delivery company. A lady ordered a delivery with about three meals, one of which had mushrooms in. She called about 15 minutes after receiving her order to complain that I tried to kill her by putting mushrooms in her meal. She did not state that she or anyone had a mushroom allergy and went to yell and demand free stuff.
The call lasted about 10 minutes of her just yelling and threatening to report us and all I could do was say why she did not state that she had an allergy. In the end she got nothing and funny enough ordered again about three weeks later.
12. Even When You’re Rich, You Look For a Discount
I used to coach gymnastics for what were largely upper middle class and above clients. A mom who managed to find a way to talk about how much money her husband makes in several conversations with me and others, tells me her husband wants to know why they were charged 13 times for the monthly tuition fees last year. I tell her we charge every 4 weeks, not every month.
This is made very clear in the contract they sign, and on any of the literature about our class times and tuitions. A couple days later her jerk of a husband comes in demanding an explanation as to why he was overcharged last year, because he was unsatisfied with the explanation I gave his wife. He’s a big powerful salesman or something, and I’m just a dumb little girl who teaches kids to do somersaults. He was so smug, thinking he’s going to school me on being so dumb, or worse, doing sketchy business.
I once again explain that we charge in four-week increments, not monthly. I explain that there are 52 weeks in a year, and 52/4 is 13. He still didn’t get it, so I had to pull out a calendar and count it out to him. He got huffy and walked out. That was about four years ago and they still bring their kids as far as I know.
13. Tornadoes Are No Joke
I worked at a local upscale restaurant in the Midwest. We had bad weather coming in one night that turned from a tornado watch to a tornado warning. I stayed later than the rest of the staff minus two other managers who were going to stay put since they lived half an hour away and the tornado sirens just went off. I’m on my way out the door because I live five minutes away and run into the 20 person reservation that didn’t answer their phone when we called five times to tell them we were closing due to the tornados.
So we’re outside, in a thunderstorm with the tornado sirens blaring and these people cannot grasp the situation and are acting like it’s just a normal day. I try for a few minutes to get reason in their heads but they’re having none of it. So I get the two other managers to deal with it and went home because I couldn’t handle that level of stupid anymore.
14. Not to Mention Plane Floors are Probably Really Dirty
I’m a long haul flight attendant. I had a passenger on a flight once that had laid their nine-year-old on the ground to sleep. I asked the mother to politely pick her up as it wasn’t safe, to which to mother informed me that it was safe and pulled the “I’ve done it plenty of times before” line. Things escalated dramatically from here when I insisted she pick her child up. It took 20 minutes of arguing, the waking of the entire aircraft, the captain, the purser, and threats of restraint to calm her down. We eventually managed to get the child in the seat with a pillow I had found in the aircraft cupboard.
The reason we can’t have anyone on the floor is that in the event of sudden decompression, the masks won’t reach ground level. A person has around four seconds of useful consciousness in a worst-case scenario, so the mother wouldn’t be able to take her mask off to bend down, pick her child up and put her on oxygen. This is also the reason we tell you to put your own mask on before assisting others—it’s a hell of a lot easier helping your child with their mask while your conscious.
15. Fuming at the Gas Pumps
I was working at a gas station that had updated pumps, except for one. The one old pump had the thing under the nozzle you had to flip up to turn the pump on. Now I can see on the register if someone is using or trying to use a credit card. This lady comes in and says “My card isn’t working at the pump” and I explain to her that you have to flip up the lever for it to work.
She tells me “Well I already put my card in.” I tell her, “Ma’am, your transaction cancels after a short time to prevent inaccurate transactions.” She says again “But I already put it in.” I explain to her that I can see active cards by looking at the register but this just isn’t computing in her brain and I’m superbusy. I explain to her two or three more times and she’s still not getting it, now there’s a line of 15 people behind her so I look past her to the next customer and ask, “What can I get for you?”
She storms out, gets her gas and comes back in to wait in the line she created. She gets to the front and angrily asks “WHAT’S YOUR NAME?” and I tell her Patrick. She asks, “WHAT’S YOUR WHOLE NAME?” I tell her that doesn’t matter because I’m the only Pat that works here and she tells me she will be making a complaint because I was very rude.
At this point, I put my line on pause for a second and say “Lady, you came in, I told you what to do, you went back out and did WHAT I TOLD YOU, and got your gas, if I wasn’t busy I would have come out and helped you.” She says, “I’m suuure you would have” and leaves. Told my boss about it the next day and he says, “If she calls me I’ll tell her you only have one leg.”
16. Father Doesn’t Know Best
I had a customer’s father call and yell at me because his daughter rented a storage unit at a different price he was quoted. His daughter, who was in her 30s mind you, had no problem with the price. No one at our location ever had a conversation with her father. I sat and listened to him tell me how awful at customer service I was, and all the people he referred to my location were going to move out now. Oh no! The kicker was his daughter left us a five-star review on Yelp after she moved out, praising us for our stellar customer service.
17. There’s Being Wrong and Then There’s Being Totally, Embarrassingly Wrong
I was working at a hotel and a guy comes in and just slaps his ID on the counter without saying anything. I look up his reservation and it’s not in the system. I tell him we don’t have it and he flips out, starts calling me incompetent and saying he’s going to call corporate, etc. Then he says he’s been a Hilton Honors member for five years and how dare we lose his reservation. So I just pointed at the large sign on the wall behind me that said HOLIDAY INN EXPRESS. He said nothing, snatched his ID off the counter and left.
18. When You’re Not Willing to Listen to Reason
When I worked a summer job at a store in Texas, I had the honor and privilege of ringing up a lady who was buying organic plums. The regular price for non-organic was $3.99 a pound. The organic plums were, I kid you not, $6.99 a pound. Well, as what often happens with organic produce, it wasn’t in the system, so it wouldn’t ring up. I told her I would just ring up the non-organic plum price.
She firmly said, “No.” I looked at her and said, “I can type in the code for regular plums, so these will be 3.99 a pound, instead of 6.99. You’ll still get organic.” She wanted to see a manager. Manager comes up. Tries typing in the code, but again it’s not in system. He says, “Well, we’ll just ring it up with the normal code then and give it to you for $3.99 a pound.” She says, “No.”
He looks at her and says, “You don’t want the fruit anymore?” She says, “I want the fruit, but give it to me for the organic price.” The manager looks at her in disbelief and says, “Just to make sure, I have offered to give these to you for regular price at 3.99 a pound. You still want me to manually charge you 6.99 a pound?” She says, “Yes. I want the organic plums, and I want them for the price on the shelf. That’s the price I want to pay.”
The manager shrugged and manually typed in the weight and price per pound and walked away. I wish you could have seen her face go from angry as she demanded to be charged more, to smug after she “won” her argument, to surprised as the plums rang up 16 dollars total. Then her face kind of settled into this, “Oh…I guess this is my life now” as she paid silently and didn’t make eye contact as she grabbed her bag and left.
19. A Song of Fudge and Ice Cream
I worked at Cold Stone Creamery one summer and loved the job through and through. Best job ever. I lived in a desert town and people were so stoked to be getting something to cool off that they didn’t even grumble about long lines or anything. One day, a girl came in and ordered an item that had hot fudge. I would always mix in the other ingredients and put the fudge over top of it, so that it wouldn’t melt the ice cream. She requested specifically that I mix in the fudge. I hand over her order, and she looks at it and says, “It’s all melted.”
I say I’m sorry, I can remake it and just pour the fudge over the top. She says please remake it, but still mix in the fudge. I point out we’re probably going to be having the same conversation in about two minutes about how hot things melt ice cream, but she insists. I redo her order the way she requested. She looks at it again and, predictably enough, complains that it’s melted. I say I’m sorry, but I am unable to keep hot things from making ice cream melt. The customer tells me “no offense,” but she would rather have a co-worker remake it.
I get my manager and explain what’s happening. He offers to remake it. You can guess what happened. After the third bowl of melted ice cream doesn’t meet her approval, she says she maybe just wants a different item. The manager says he’s not giving her a fourth item if she only paid for one. So she demands her money back. He says no, so she calls us both rude names and storms out.
20. Cue the Facepalm
When I used to work at Subway I was asked multiple times “Which ones bigger? The six-inch or the foot long?” I was astonished every time.
21. A Wheat Belly Full of Lies
I wait tables in a pizza place and I think at lead once a day we get someone that screams about being gluten-free and worrying about cross contamination while munching on the cheese bread. I’ve heard everything from “I don’t have a sensitivity to cheese bread” to “I’m allergic to pizza crust.”
22. Deceitful Customers are the Worst
I worked retail in the early 90s. So, we still had actual price tickets, which were scanned and read an internal SKU. Initially, it would just bring up the SKU and the price on the screen. Well, we started having real problems with tag switching (i.e. people would take the tag from a $20 item and put it on a $300 item so it would scan $20).
Now, this was a department store, so there was no one who truly KNEW all the items, just the ones in their own department, so people would switch tags and bring the items to another department to be rung up so they wouldn’t be caught. The cashier would just assume the ticket was correct. So, to combat this, the registers were updated so that it would show not only the SKU and the price, but also a short description of item on the register when you scanned it (i.e. 2574274, $19.99, Esprit Blue Skirt). The customer couldn’t see it, only the cashier could.
We got new inventory in and this woman brought all this new Jones & Co apparel that we had received THAT day (and I helped put out on the floor) and switched all the tags on it so it rang up on sale at much lower prices. I knew what she was pulling, but I also knew she’d be a jerk about it. I ring the first one, a sweater, but it reads that it’s pants. Just for kicks I try another one, it’s a skirt, but it reads a scarf when I scan it.
So, I look at her and say, “There seems to be a problem, looks like the prices on these are incorrect.” She looks me square in the eye and says, “Absolutely not, if you misticketed them, that’s your problem, not mine and you have to honor the price.” At this point, I see plainclothes security out of the corner of my eye, so I know they must have picked the lying customer on the cameras.
I said, “Well when I scan your sweater, it comes up as pants and a different brand. Somebody must have changed the ticket on it and I’ll have to take it off the floor to be reticketed.” She started to say something but I had already scanned the next item and said, “Oh, weird that one is ringing up as a scarf.” Then I scanned another one and said, “Oh, look, socks.” She started to look a little nervous at that point and just kind of muttered under her breath, “Oh, forget it. I don’t have time for this” and ran out of the store.
After she left, security came over and said they’d been watching her for a while and to let them know if I saw her again.
23. You’re Not the Only Customer
I worked in a grocery store deli, we had some premade stuff, and there was a register down at the end that we sometimes operated from around 11:30 – 1:30. There was a line of about 10 people waiting to get meat or cheese sliced. This guy came and grabbed one of our premade sandwiches then asked me if I could ring him up because the store was busy and he didn’t want to wait at the regular registers.
I told him I don’t have the code to use the register. He asked me to go get someone he can. I told him I can’t stop serving customers to go looking for someone who can operate the register, and it’d be faster if he just went up front. He demanded my name and said he was going to go talk to my manager. So I pointed to my name badge, then told him where customer service was, and that they could ring up his sandwich for him. The whole time I was still preparing a customer’s order, and after the guy left even the customer commented about how that guy was such a jerk.
24. Movie-Goers Aren’t Always Movie Buffs
Customer comes out of his theatre ranting and raving about how “The images in the movie keep flying out at him” I see that he has 3D glasses in his hand, so I tell him “Yes sir, the movie is in 3D. That’s what happens.” He flips out and demands a refund. Also had a woman complain that the movie didn’t make any sense, so she wanted a refund. I was confused, as it was less than five minutes after showtime (there are usually 10-15 minutes of previews) so I told her the movie hadn’t started yet and that she was watching the previews. She let out a big “Ohh” and walked back to her theatre.
25. Trying to Cover Up Your Mistake
I work as a cashier at a store with a really large bulk food section. We have tags and pens for customers to write down the code on the item they filled. All our coffee starts with 18. A man came up with a code that was 1698 and he was very frustrated with me that it wasn’t ringing in as his coffee. He kept telling me he had been coming to this store for 10 years and had this code memorized so he couldn’t figure out why I was making this mistake.
When I pointed to the screen and showed him the code was exactly the same on the screen as his tag he retorted, “Yes, I see the mistake YOU are making.” I suggested calling my manager to help him and he instead decided to go back and take a picture to prove me wrong. He came back almost 10 minutes later with the code being 1852 which wasn’t even close to the original code. He shook his head and said, “This was so frustrating I promise you that I will never return.” I was so happy to see him go honestly and couldn’t believe he still tried to make me feel guilty.
26. “Determined to Be Displeased” is a Good Way of Putting It
I once worked at Kinko’s. One dude was so angry, even as I started helping him. He asked for a bunch of copies, I made them, and set them down in front of him. “How’s that look?” I asked. “Well, you printed them upside down!” Guy was edgy. So I turned the stack of pages 180 degrees. The guy says, “I don’t like your attitude.” Some people are determined to be displeased.
27. Drive Through Hell
Back in the day of working a crummy drive through, I had a guy in a new car come through and proceed to hit a pole or wall on his way up. He began to yell at me about how this car just cost him $40,000 and he is expecting compensation for the damage we did to his car and how it’s all our fault. I told him that if he is going to buy a car that expensive he should be able to drive it properly—which I know was rather rude, but 15-year-old me had no patience for anyone like that—and then rang up his order. He then went off again about how we should be compensating him for his car and he couldn’t believe I was going to (gasp!) still charge him for his meal. Sorry buddy, I am not responsible for your inability to drive.
28. You Say Cheeseburger, I Say Burger With Cheese
I was working at a concession at a racetrack at the time, running the register. This one particular night it was super busy. It was the last race weekend of the season, we ran out of Coke, and the deep fryer caught fire. I was at the burger stand and the line was crazy. This one lady came and ordered a burger with cheese.
Trying to be quick, I yelled back to the cooks, “ONE CHEESEBURGER.” She looks at me and huffs, “No, I said a burger with cheese, not a CHEESEBURGER!” So I had to yell back, “SORRY, A BURGER WITH CHEESE! CANCEL THE CHEESEBURGER!” It’s just one of the many moments in my customer service/ retail career that made me question my sanity just a little.
29. Not Only Wrong, But Also Dangerous
We write software for scanning tickets at clubs. The software allows you to get a report of how many people were checked in overall. It’s used to prove that the place isn’t over capacity. A potential client wanted a secret button he could click that would lower the ticket count by 15% in case the fire marshal showed up.
30. No Wonder the Grocery Lines are Always So Long
As the cashier behind me finishes ringing up the customer’s order for groceries (well over $100) the man yells at the cashier that the total is wrong. The register added incorrectly. The cashier and him went over EVERY ITEM to make sure nothing was the wrong price or double scanned. Everything scanned was correct; the machine just added incorrectly according to him. This poor lady had to clear out the order, which is a very difficult process, take everything out of the bags, and ring it up again. And yes, it came out to the same total.
31. Playing a Prank on a Self-Proclaimed Leather Enthusiast
I was a furniture delivery guy in college. A woman ordered this high back red leather chair. We delivered it and she complained about the grain in the leather. We explained that leather is a natural product and bears irregularities. If she wanted uniformity, she should buy vinyl. She got insulted and informed us in no uncertain terms that she was well off and would only buy genuine leather.
We took the chair back to the store and exchanged it for the other one we had, a floor model. We brought that one out and she did the same thing, pointing out things in the grain that she disliked. We took it back to the store and asked the owner what to do. By then the chair was actually no longer made, so he told us to bring the first chair again. We delivered those same two chairs seven times. She never caught on and eventually decided she really liked the seventh chair. Which was, of course, the one she originally hated.
32. When Being Wrong Turns Into Assault
I used to work in a patisserie and this guy ordered a Noah’s Ark cake. My boss made these cute little fondant animals going into an ark on the sides of the baby blue cake. The customer came to pick it up and as soon as he looked at the cake his nose scrunched up and he frowned. He said, “This cake looks absolutely horrible, I demand a refund!” He had prepaid.
I called my boss several times, but no answer, and I told him I could hold onto the cake until my boss was free and could call him back personally. He starts yelling at me (a minimum wage cashier) and demanding his refund. I told him I wasn’t able to because of my position and tried calling my boss again. He continued yelling, I asked him to calm down or I would have to ask him to leave.
He yelled back at me one more time, “I want my FREAKIN’ refund!” To which I told him again I couldn’t do. So his response was to open the cake box, remove the cake, and throw it at me. I ducked, it hit the wall, and I told him in no small way that he wouldn’t get his refund back and if he didn’t leave I would call the cops.
The next day he called the patisserie and demanded to talk to my boss, she told him that since he threw the cake at her employee and that he wouldn’t just relax and let her call him back he wouldn’t get his cake and was permanently banned from the establishment.
33. Undercut by Corporate
In college, I worked for a kitchen/bath/bedding superstore. There was a special on high-end pots and pan sets. Essentially, if you bought a particular set ($250ish) you got an accompanying pan for one cent. The signage was very clear that the bonus pan was only a penny if you bought the full set. It was in large print. I was a cashier, and I rang up the pan for the regular price ($75) because she didn’t have the set.
She immediately exploded and said the pan was on sale for one penny. I didn’t work in that department but knew that was BS. I call the manager up, who calmly explained what the special was. She said we were trying to scam her, and manipulate customers, and actually made us call corporate because we were too “stupid to understand the sale.” After she and my manager spoke to someone, corporate said to give her the pan for a penny and tell her we appreciated her business. I, to this day, remain angry that the woman was rewarded for throwing a hissy fit.
34. No, I Can’t Provide You a Discount
I work in a large chain home improvement store. I can’t believe how often it is demanded of me, a barely above entry-level employee, to provide a 35 to 50% discount on all kinds of goods. Whenever I refuse they want the manager, who tells them the same. When the manager leaves, they try me again like I’ll magically be capable and willing to give them absurd discounts.
35. Read the Labels Correctly, Ma’am
I’m a pharmacy technician and one time a patient told me her doctor said she could not have Tylenol, but acetaminophen was fine. They’re the same thing! Tylenol is just the brand name. She was convinced I was wrong.
36. Taxes? How Do They Work?
I worked at a gas station. The customer walks in asks for cigarettes I ring them up. Guy flips his lid that I’m ripping him off. The sign clearly says $5.83 + tax. He wants to know why they are $6.15 or whatever sales tax adds to them. I then spent five minutes of my life explaining the intricacies of sales tax to a 42-year-old child.
37. Face Facts: 17-Year-Old Ketchup is Going To Discolor
I worked at a grocery store around 2004 or 2005 and a customer brought in a bottle of Heinz ketchup and asked to return it because the ketchup inside the bottle was brown, not red. Customer service called me, the stock guy, to investigate. Not only were there no other bottles with the brown substance inside, Heinz had since changed the sizes of their bottles and we didn’t even carry that particular size. Finally, it hit me to check out the “sell by” date. It was in December of 1987! Needless to say, wherever she got the bottle (it wasn’t my store, I’m suspecting she was cleaning out a rarely used pantry or something), we weren’t allowing her to return it.
38. Can’t Tell If This Person is a Hero or Just Off
So I used to work at a pizza place not too long ago and this woman who’s at least 60 years old walks up with the Parmesan cheese shaker that we leave on all the tables. She asks us if she can take the shaker home. We tell her no but we can give her some to-go packets of cheese. She accepts. We give her probably about three or four as usual when she asks if she can have ten more. My manager tells her that she can’t give her that many and that was it, or so we thought. The old woman turns around, grabs a hand full of cheese from the salad bar, shoves it in her mouth, and walks out.
39. The Christmas Spirit is Still Alive
I worked at Walmart during my high school years. A couple walked up to the customer service desk with an Elf on the Shelf doll, asking to return it. When I asked them what was wrong with the doll, they said that it wasn’t moving around at night like it’s supposed too. It took every inch of willpower I had not to laugh in their face.
40. The Employees Probably Know If The Place is Open For Lunch
I work in a restaurant that changed owners this summer. The restaurant has always been well established and is a bit of a historical landmark for my small town. It was open for lunch in the previous 10 years, but the new owners haven’t opened for lunch yet because it’s not very economical. Anyway, there have been multiple people who have called and asked about lunch reservations, who have then accused us of lying when we say we’re not open for lunch. The hosts and managers have literally gotten in back and forth arguments about whether we’re open for lunch.
41. Trying to Scam A Well-Meaning Offer
We have a policy in the bakery that police, firefighters, EMTs, etc., get their first item free. So if a cop comes in for a slice of pie and a drip coffee, we’ll charge them a buck for the coffee and gets the pie for free, or if a paramedic comes in and wants half dozen donuts, we’ll only charge them for 5, whatever. Only thing is, you have to have proof. Most people take advantage when they’re on the clock/just got off, so we don’t even bother asking them because we can see their uniforms, but everyone has some sort of ID that they can flash when they’re not, so it’s a non-issue.
One day we had a cop come through, full uniform, and we gave him a slice of cake and a latte. He’s one of our regulars, so I talk to him for a bit, he asks after my business partner, I ask about what his shifts been like, the usual. He goes to sit down and this couple ask why he got only got charged $3. I tell them our policy, and they tell me one of them is a cop and the other is a detective in a small city in our state. I tell them that’s nice, but we only have it open to people that work in our city and the surrounding areas.
They freak out like absolutely lose their cool. And then they demand to speak to the manager. I am the owner, and tell them that. They insist that there’s no way I could be, and tell me I’m lying, then demand to see the real manager. This goes on for a bit, until finally my cop buddy stands up, and asks to see their badges. They both sputter about it for a minute or two, and he firmly asks to see them again.
Neither one of them had their badges on them. He asks to see any ID proving that they are what they say they are. They have none. He looks at me and says, “They’re lying about who they say they are, and I sure as heck suggest you don’t serve them.” And they scurried out with their tails between their legs.
42. Not All Changes Come Easy
I used to work in an Old Navy store for quite a few years back in the day. We weren’t particularly known for our thorough loss prevention and security capabilities, so some customers had gotten quite comfortable with openly stealing things in front of employees whenever they wanted to. Eventually, loss prevention got turned over to new management and was subsequently kicked into overdrive.
They had squads of people who would team up in our stores to attempt to catch a few people in the act of shoplifting and bust them publicly. The purpose of this was so that the word would spread that there was a new sheriff in town and, as a result, we’d hopefully see a few less shoplifters from then on. They were running this operation at a store in a low-income area, when suddenly a mild-mannered lady in her mid-50s came in and started shoving random things into her purse with little regard for her surroundings.
There were literally a bunch of shoes and tops visibly hanging halfway out of her purse as she walked around the store. When she tried to leave, loss prevention stopped her at the door and informed her that they had notified the police and that she needed to remain there until they arrived. She immediately said “But I have to go to the bathroom!” and as they tried to tell her that this was not an option, she started to scream “HERE I GO!” and pooped in her pants.
With no other option at this point, they escorted her to the nearest bathroom. After all, it was a single room without any windows, so she had no chance of escaping from it if they let her go in and finish her business in peace. They figured that this would be an opportunity for her to clean herself up, and felt that it would also probably be best for the police’s sake if they could avoid having to spend time soaking their squad car in bleach after taking her in it.
Shortly after the police arrived on scene, they realized that she had been in the room for a while and was not responding to questions. She also would not unlock the door despite multiple requests from the officers. Finally, management opened the door with a key and found the woman covered in her own feces, which she had also rubbed all over the walls, ceiling, and floor. Thankfully, I did not have to clean up the mess for once! And I definitely don’t envy whoever did have to. People are honestly nuts. I’ve got a million stories, but few can beat this one.
43. Always Check the Sell-By Date Before Making a Fool Out of Yourself
I worked in a store that sells ice cream cakes. This woman came in with half a cake, we thought it’d be melted. Nope, much more concerning, her son had a piece yesterday and got ill. They didn’t make the connection until the daughter ate a piece that morning and also became ill. To say the least, my manager was freaking out. If there’s some kind of food poisoning going on, the whole store could be shut down and it would be a huge mess.
She passes me the cake and tells me to check who made it so we can call it in. I open up the case, look at it, and it took every bit of control I could muster to not laugh in front of the customer. This was a Valentine’s Day cake, and it was September. My manager had to explain to the woman that half-eaten ice cream cakes don’t hold for a half a year, and the woman kept insisting we test it.
44. No Interest in Smalltalk
I had a customer come into my store and tell me that I was only happy and smiling because I wasn’t old enough yet to realize that life is nothing but pain, suffering, and waiting to die. That definitely brightened up my day!
45. Counterfeit Card
I used to work a game store a little more than 10 years ago. Once, I had a woman come in, dressed fairly trendy, and ask for 2 PlayStation Portables (PSP), 2 Xbox 360s, and a handful of games and accessories. My store was pretty slow, so this would be a pretty big sale for the day and I was excited about it.
She goes to pay and hands me a credit card which was not laminated and appeared to be printed out on a home color printer. I told her it wouldn’t work and she said just scan it anyway. So I scanned her fake credit card which clearly did not have a magnetic strip and it didn’t work—of course. She told me to just “put the numbers in” on the computer. I refused and she asked why, seemingly legitimately confused. I told her I just couldn’t. She told me she would be back with cash. I put everything back on the shelves. She did not return.
46. Demanding the Stolen Goods
As I was walking in for my shift, there was a car stopped right in front of the doors. Next thing I know, I’m walking up on a guy carrying about ten pairs of shoes out of their boxes as he’s running out of the store at full speed and basically Superman jumped into the car. They sped off and the sales associates were all kinda staring at each other going “What just happened?”
Later on that night, dude came back wearing a pair of the shoes he stole and his hoodie still had one of our security tags on it, so he set off the alarm when he walked in. They followed him around for a bit. Eventually he made a run for the door and a loss prevention associate grabbed the hoodie on his way out, hoodie came off and dude kept running into the parking lot. We were almost at closing time anyway so they locked the doors behind him.
THEN, this mad man came back to beat on our glass doors to demand “his” hoodie back. He’d also inadvertently lost one shoe and he needed that back as well. We obviously refused and HE called the cops. They were very amused with the situation when they got there. I don’t think he went to jail though.