Some things are never meant to come to light–but of course, the internet eventually reveals even the darkest secrets. From heartwarming white lies to life-shattering skeletons in the closet, these people have confessed to the biggest secrets they’ve ever kept.
1. The Harsh Truth
My mother was in a fatal car accident when I was three—but my family never told me the whole story. I found out from a newspaper article years later that it was her fault. She wasn’t paying attention and crossed the yellow line and ended both her life and that of the person in the other car.
2. He’s a Biter
When I was about 14, my mom took me to a tattoo shop to get her nipples pierced. While the procedure was happening, she turned to me and said something so disturbing that I’ve never forgotten it: “Your dad bites harder than that.” I could have lived without that info.
3. Wrong Place, Wrong Time
My secret is that I really don’t want to be with my girlfriend anymore, but she might have cancer so I feel like I need to stay in the relationship in order to not be judged as some kind of a monster.
4. Big Bear
I’m ten years older than my youngest brother but we’ve always been close. When he was five he decided to test out whether or not Santa was real, so he told our parents that he wanted Legos for Christmas when really he wanted a giant teddy bear from a store we go to a lot. The only reason I knew about his test is because I overheard him talking to his friend when I was babysitting the two of them.
The bear was pretty pricey for a 15-year-old without a regular allowance or a job that wasn’t babysitting but I got the money together and on Christmas day that giant teddy bear was sitting next to the tree with a tag that said “from Santa” on it. He was soooo happy. Even though my little brother is 14 now, he still has that giant Teddy bear. I hope he gives it to his own kid one day.
5. The Thrill of the Arches
I’m taking my daughters to McDonald’s and the movies after school today. They have no idea. They think we’re going home to do spring cleaning (which I already did). I can hardly contain myself, I’m so excited.
6. Home Is Where the Heart Is
Two and a half years ago, I was in dire financial straits, so I sold my home to keep my struggling business afloat. I neglected to tell the new homeowners that they had an 800 square foot secret bunker hidden on the property that I had built underground in the backyard about seven years earlier. I have secretly called that bunker my home ever since the day that I sold the house to them.
The entrance to it is very well-hidden, and I come and go every day very early in the morning and very late in the evening. I’m a single man who generally keeps to himself, so no one else is even aware of this whole situation. I’m now in a financial position where I could afford to move somewhere new, but I love this hidden paradise so much that I don’t bother to.
7. I’mma Head Out
When I got back from Iraq, my dad broke some bad news to me—he and my mom were getting a divorce. Shortly after, he told me the painful reason why. They had financial troubles and my mom sent me care packages quite a lot. Apparently, that put them into bankruptcy, and if I hadn’t joined it wouldn’t have happened. I never really wanted to join the military anyway, and it messed me up big time.
I just wanted to get out of that house because it was like I didn’t exist.
8. Anyone But You
Someone once told me how many people my ex-girlfriend had cheated on me with. When I found out she was cheating, I had assumed it was just one guy, an affair. Nope. Guys at her work, guys she met while out having drinks, guys we used to go to school with. Pretty much whoever gazed in her general direction and made a pass at her.
For some reason, knowing this made it so much worse to deal with at the time. It just felt like, “Wow, you literally want to be with any other guy but me.”
9. Good at Two Things
I didn’t meet my dad until I was 15. It was in secret since my mother wanted nothing to do with him. Within the first three sentences exchanged, he felt the need to tell me that I was conceived on a beach in July during the last time they did it. I was the product a going-away screw in a relationship doomed before my conception.
He followed it up with, “We were good at two things, me and your mom. Fighting and screwing. Unfortunately, we were fighting more than we were screwing, so it stopped being worth it.” 10 years later and this is still what I think of when I think of my “family history.”
10. Bathroom Troubles
I always blamed my best friend’s erratic behavior on mental health issues, until one day I found her passed out on my toilet and realized that her behavior always got erratic after bathroom visits. Unfortunately, she may have mental health issues, but addiction to certain substances was the reason for most of her behavior.
11. The Scandal
Years ago, I heard rumors that a relative through marriage had lost their license to practice medicine because of some accusations of misconduct. At the time, all I heard were whispers of something amiss but didn’t know much about it. Decades later, a friend who became a doctor was able to look up the case since I had mentioned it offhand—I said I heard scant rumors.
It turns out it wasn’t just some rumor, it was a full out massive scandal of severe misconduct of patients, many of whom testified at trial about how he misused his position, including wanting naughty favors in exchange for medication. He vehemently denied the accusations, but his character witness was severely flawed and there were way too many accusations for it to have been a conspiracy.
The details were far beyond what I was expecting. It happened years ago, and he’s been barred from practicing, but I still don’t even know if I can hide my disgust next time I see him. I don’t want to bring up skeletons in the closet to disrupt the familial peace, but I’m actually really angry that none of my family members were honest to me about the situation.
12. Fake Grandpa
I found out last year that my grandfather wasn’t my biological grandfather—I’m 35. He fought in WWII and did all of these heroic and brave things. I always loved knowing that I shared my genetics with him—except now I know I don’t. Apparently, he met my grandmother and father after the war in Germany (my grandmother is Polish) and he brought them to America.
My dad was only three at the time. Everyone in my family apparently kept this from me because they knew how much I looked up to him. And sadly, both my grandparents are long gone so I can’t even ask them questions about what really happened. I kind of wish I didn’t know; ignorance is bliss sometimes.
13. Slasher Flick IRL
When I was around 10 years old, I was sitting on the couch and my older sister came towards me with a knife and put a hole in the cushion about a foot from my leg. She pulled the knife out and immediately told me not to tell dad. I was young and naive, and my sister had a kind of twisted sense of humor, so I really didn’t know what to think.
It definitely did some damage now that I look back on it. Years later, my sister told me the disturbing secret that she’d been holding onto for years. She had planned to come at me with the knife but chickened out at the last moment. At this point, I had all but moved on from the incident, but this brought it all back and then some.
14. Partying with Teddy
Even a house can have secrets. I found out that Ted Bundy might have partied multiple times on my property. We found an old journal of a hippie girl that used to live in my house and she mentioned a “Teddy B” multiple times. I know that some of his victims were found in the vicinity of my area too—what if he did a crime on my property or found one of his victims at a party on my property? Ugh.
15. No More Jokes
One of my teachers in high school had this strange habit of leaving the classroom every so often and return after a period, sometimes as long as 40 minutes. Older students and graduates knew about it, so he had been doing it for a few years at least. People joked about it all the time, on a couple of occasions one person or another would follow him around.
One person said he went to the cafe and got a slice of pizza, ate it and came back. One person said he went to one of the offices and came out after a bit. One person said he touched random doors while he walked around, doing nothing and eventually coming back. I joined in the jokes, it seemed harmless and as far as teachers went, he was knowledgeable and cared about his subject matter, which made him better than half our school at least.
However, one of my parents was also a teacher at the school and one day, when I randomly brought it up for some reason, my Dad told me why the history teacher had this bizarre habit. Several years before, both his parents had gotten very sick within months of each other. For most of that school year, he would regularly go down to the main office throughout the day to call the hospital or his parents’ house.
They would both pass away that year, but even years later, the habit remained. I told a couple of my good friends about it. We refrained from the jokes from then on, but I couldn’t bring myself to tell more people. There was one time the teacher left but declared to the class he was going to fill his water bottle, obviously defensive—somehow, the jokes had got back to him.
I haven’t thought about this in years. At the time, I was already shocked and ashamed when I found out, but now, some four or five years later and a year after my Dad passed away from heart problems, it’s that much more heartbreaking to me. Every day for two months, I drove my brothers and I to the palliative care hospital.
When it was finally over, I suddenly didn’t know what to do with myself. It’s strange, thinking back and his behavior suddenly makes sense to me.
16. Brothers Never Known
I always knew that my parents had some kind of “family secret.” Various mutterings amended streams of conscious, etc. in my childhood. From the sound of it, I was under the impression that I had an older sibling. I am the oldest sibling of four, so I was fixated on the few little details, but as I grew older, I assumed it was a very morbid kind of imaginary friend delusion I had.
When I was in high school, I was talking to my mother when she slipped, saying something about her early relationship with my dad. I pushed her on it and found out that she had stayed with my dad after they had a child at age 15. She went on to tell me that I’d had not one, but three older siblings, and that were lost in some kind of accident.
My mom broke down. I didn’t push for details and never have. That day, I went from being the oldest of four to the middle of seven. Probably my frame of reference for the concept of “trauma.” Every obsession, every worry, and character flaw of my teenage self at that time burned into my character like scars.
17. Keeping Your Mouth Shut
My boyfriend’s parents just lost their house. I told my mom what he had told me and she didn’t think the story lined up, so she went all Sherlock Holmes and started looking up his parent’s names in our county’s public records. She got more than she bargained for because she found a locked file labeled “ADOPTION” with my boyfriend and one of his brother’s names listed on it.
None of his other three siblings were on there—they are all way younger. He’s never mentioned being adopted though, and is well past the age where you would tell a kid something like that—he’s in his mid-20s. His family has already had a really bad few months and I don’t want to cause any more drama by asking about it.
He has the same last name as his “dad.” He was in the military and claims his “dad” is on his original birth certificate so, I’m really confused. I don’t think his parents were married yet when he and his brother were born because his dad was still in the military and away from home a lot. The papers weren’t even filed until he was almost 10 years old.
But a biological father wouldn’t have to adopt his own kids, even if they weren’t married yet, right? I regret knowing because now I’m insanely curious and I can’t say anything because this has that feel of “your darkest family secret” to it and I don’t want to start anything.
18. Early Engagement
Way back when my husband and I were dating, I snuck a peek at his order history near my birthday and ruined my present. It was a beautiful engagement ring, exactly what I was hoping for. I was working multiple jobs, going to school full-time, and a general PMS monster during that time. I looked because my birthday present was “late,” and I assumed that he forgot.
Nope. I never told him I knew that I knew he was planning on proposing and I don’t ever plan to. Lack of sleep, stress, and hormones may have made me quite the jerk around that time, but he saw me through that and I’m eternally grateful.
19. The Birthday Blues
I wish I never found out that one of my best friends is having a birthday party this weekend and I’m not invited. It’s a large milestone birthday and her husband planned this huge event with lots of people. She told me he would send me the info and he never did. He has all of my contact info as we have messaged and emailed in the past. She even verified my info for him.
I am disappointed, but I get it. We live very different lives but that has never been an issue before. I’ve already made other plans for the day so even if I get a pity invite, I won’t go.
20. Heisting for the Family
When I was around 17 my Nona told me how my father stole $30 000. To explain: My oldest brother has had severe ADHD all his life—he’s 24 now. When he was younger, my mother applied for this insurance thing from the government. My brother was too young at the time to know that he was about to get so much money, and it was all put into a special savings account for him for when he was older.
Well, when they got the money, my father took it out of his savings, bought a truck, and then used the rest to pay the bills. My mother was obviously really upset at him, but he said that he would put the money back when he had it. Fast forward to today, my brother lives in the basement. He works at a fast-food restaurant and has to pay rent.
When I found out I told my brother right away because he’s always wanted to go to college like me and my other brother, but my father would always say, “We don’t have the money.” I feel so bad, and he has such potential at being a voice actor. My brother forgave my father because he knew that he had to pay the bills—but for a long time he was pretty sad that he could have gone to college.
21. Mo Money, Mo Jealousy
How much my friend/co-worker makes. Basically, she’s in a skilled position and I’m not, so I’m not surprised that she makes significantly more than me, but I was under the impression it was 50-100% more than me. Today, someone dropped about how much her position makes, I thought it was a joke and asked her.
She said that was about correct, which comes out to about triple what I make. I’m not mad at her, just bitter about what my worth is to the company. I know that’s capitalism for you, but it’s still a hard pill to swallow.
22. Foreign Matters
I start conversations with random people on the bus if it seems like they’re having a bad day. One of the most notable people was a Russian woman who seemed proud of having a pacemaker and an elderly Japanese woman who I helped navigate the bus system. I actually ended up skipping class to make sure she got to her son’s place safely.
23. Penny Dropper
I secretly drop pennies. For many years, my Uncle used to bend down and pick up every penny he came across, which was maddening to my Aunt who was worried the neighbors would see him and assume they were poor. They used to tease each other about it.
My Uncle got cancer and passed away after a very long struggle. After the funeral, we were walking to the car and my Aunt saw a penny, and said, “Oh John is thinking of me. He left this penny for me today.” So, whenever I am around my Aunt, I purposely drop pennies on the ground for her to find. I haven’t been caught yet, and I hope I never am.
24. Long Drive Home
I offer people I know lifts home even if they’re totally the opposite direction to where I’m going. I know firsthand that walking home in the cold and dark is way worse than an extra ten minutes in the car. Plus, it’s nice having a chance to get to know people in that setting.
25. Snooper’s Regret
Recently, my mom used my husband’s phone to make a call—to the man she was having an affair with. The phone had auto record on. And that was how I found out she’d been in that relationship for 17 years, and tried to have kids with him as well. My dad found out about it years ago and almost ended the marriage as a result.
What he doesn’t know is that she continued the relationship up until last year, and only recently broke it off because the loser CHEATED on her with someone else. She’s also a raging narcissist.
26. The One Ring
My fiancé lost her engagement ring on one of our dates. It was a lovely and romantic evening, walking around, on the beach, lobster dinner… until she noticed the ring was missing. She was beyond distraught, fearing it was a bad omen, or some sign that she wasn’t good enough. It broke my heart to see her like that. So, after we spent an entire day searching without a trace, I secretly drove to the jeweler, and begged them to size a replacement that night.
They actually pulled it off! They had one last twin of the version I proposed with and were happy to help after hearing my story. I pretended I found her ring in my car just after midnight. I staged a picture of me finding it in the disassembled center console. Had to smudge it with dust and grease to make it look legit. But she bought it, everyone did. She still doesn’t know, and we’ve been married for four years. I vowed that would be my only lie in our marriage. So far, so good.
27. Cat Prowler
I love going prowling with my cat out in my street. He loves it too and is so delighted to have me there, but I’m always terrified of being seen loitering outside my neighbor’s gardens at night without a good excuse.
28. Never Swimming Again
Naegleria fowleri, or the brain-eating amoeba. Used to really just be a problem down south but now people are dying of it as far north as Minnesota in the summer months. No way to prevent it other than trying not to get water up your nose while swimming in a lake. Once you get it, you come down with a headache and are dead within two weeks.
The fatality rate is 95% and it is almost impossible to diagnose in time. It has made me basically shy away completely from swimming in lakes now. I still snorkel or scuba in lakes because the mask protects any water from getting in my nose.
29. Good Lord, Mom
I wish I’d never found out about my mom’s love for adult romance novels. We share the same Amazon account, so I can see what she’s reading in Kindle. She always says her favorite genre is “Biblical fiction,” but she’ll never say what book she’s reading—she just avoids the question. When we were kids, she always read in her room or the book had a fabric cover on it, she always kept it secret.
But on her Kindle, it’s only romance books. Almost every single book has a shirtless guy on the front. Think that’s not so bad? Well, check out these titles: “Taming the Virgin,” “Riding Her,” “The Fedsex Man.” The most recent one I’ve seen has been “Wrapped in my Wife.” And here I was saying my mom was such a spiritual person that read her bible every day—but no!
All that she has read for the past 45 years is books about shirtless men and threesomes.
30. Liar, Liar…
My sister married a guy who lied about a lot of stuff. In the first six months after the wedding we’ve found out he had lied about:
His previous job—he wasn’t a history professor apparently.
His house back in his country and the fact that it was damaged by a hurricane—he didn’t even own a house.
His previous marriage, unfaithful ex-wife, and him having kids—he was married but only for a couple of years and those kids were not his…she kicked him out.
His mom being dead (a really strange moment for us and her).
His other relatives like cousins, etc. treating him badly. We couldn’t figure out why nobody in his family wanted to help or even come for a wedding.
Turns out he’s a pathological liar hated by everyone. Needless to say, they’re separated now.
31. Keep the Dogs In
I promise you this is legit: My wife kept it a secret our entire relationship, but she just revealed to me she is terrified of Baha Men’s “Who Let the Dogs Out?” She says they sound very angry and it makes her very upset. I wouldn’t say she hid this from me…but it’s an interesting development.
32. You Think You’ve Had a Long Flight?
Just got on a flight in London headed to Vegas. Sitting next to my GF and she wants to show me something she has planned for the trip so gets out her phone. It opens to the Messages and shows a chat with a guy (I know him) saying how much she is gonna miss him and how she doesn’t wanna go away with me anyway. The doors close on the plane and that was a really fun 10-11hrs…
33. Oh Baby
My husband never revealed just how much he loves babies. He had avoided them until after he married me because he thought it made him seem less manly. After, at family gatherings and such, he’d make a beeline for any babies. Every time. When we had one of our own, he’d practically argue with me. I’d be breastfeeding, and he’d be all, “Are you done yet? Is it my turn? But I want to hold him.”
34. Still Struggling
I’ve been married for almost 12 years, together more than 16, and roughly three years ago, my wife made a shocking confession: she has/still suffers from bulimia. It was so bad a few years ago that she had a nervous breakdown and we sent her to a program to cope with the disease. While there are relapses and I expect she will deal with this the rest of our lives together, she’s doing great.
She’s been dealing with this disease since high school, and mostly because she dealt with many insecurities as a result of my mother-in-law’s inability to give positive feedback. She hid this from me for years, and while many may think that bulimics do this for the sake of vanity, I assure you it is not. My wife, while beautiful on the inside and out, still deals with this daily…even a few days ago.
We have three children and overwhelm them with praise about inner/outer beauty to ensure the same mistake isn’t made again.
35. Oh… Everything, Where Art Thou?
My husband managed to keep the fact that he’s a slob a secret for our entire relationship. Apparently, while we were dating he was on his best behavior, but after we got married? Dear god. Clothes everywhere. Hats everywhere. Paper everywhere. He throws dirty clothes next to the hamper. My biggest beef is how he’ll just set dirty dishes on the island rather than walk an extra five steps to put them in the sink.
Also, he loses everything. He’s lost so many sunglasses that I had to put my foot down and tell him he can’t buy any more. At $200.00 a pop, it isn’t happening. He loses his wallet regularly and he had his Apple watch for maybe three months. Once, he lost $300 between work and home. He swears he had it in the car and didn’t stop anywhere on the way home.
So, where it went nobody knows. If I had the money that we’ve spent on stuff he’s lost in the last 20 years, I could pay cash for a brand new car.
36. Cheaters Never Prosper
Before we got married, my husband was cheating on me with a friend I thought was a lesbian. He invited her to the wedding. She showed up with her latest girlfriend (who was uninvited). It was arranged seating and I’d stick her next to a group of mutual friends. Turned out she had slept with nearly every person at that table (men and women), and they all found out about it. Her girlfriend and her got into a fistfight and then left.
Nearly two years later and I’m still married to that guy. We separated (for the second time) a week ago after I found his latest Tinder account and the dates he’d been planning with random women for when I’d be at work.
37. Needs the Freedom
My husband finally revealed his deepest secret to me: he completely undresses from the waist down to go number two. He says he needs the freedom.
38. Hidden Mother
His cruelest secret of all? That his mother was alive. He gave me a sob story about losing his mother to a heart attack in a grocery store, and of course, I was all about comforting him. We dated and eventually married, but what could he say? So, he just kept her a secret. I later found a card from her, to him, for his birthday, in the garage, wedged in some books. I was horrified to find out I had a mother-in-law and hadn’t invited her to our wedding.
We divorced after three years. She was a lovely woman and treated me very kindly, knowing I had no idea and believing I was horrified by the circumstances. She wasn’t surprised at his duplicity and later regretted not warning me about her son, but, she had hoped I’d be a “fix” for him. I wasn’t.
39. Her Little Quirk
My wife managed to keep the fact that she’s near totally incontinent from me for years.
We dated for five years before we were married, and during the first year of our marriage, I found a stash of incontinence pants in her cupboard when I was hanging her clothes up. I asked her about it, expecting to hear that she has occasional accidents, as I knew her bladder was weak, but I never expected the extent of it. She burst into tears and confessed.
She was 16 when I met her, and she had been mixing regular underwear with incontinence pants for years. She would wear them when we were together but change into regular underwear when we would sleep together. She always carried a bag with her, quite a large one, and she would take it everywhere with her. I was never allowed near it, as she didn’t want me finding her change of clothes in there.
On our wedding day, she had her sister keep a bag with her. She was wearing incontinence pants during the ceremony, for the full day, and she would go with her sister to the toilet to change occasionally. At night, she changed into regular underwear. There were a few times when she either ran out of her incontinence pants and peed through her regular panties or couldn’t change in time and overflowed.
Once, in my car, she peed in her already full pants and they overflowed onto the seat. Another time she ran out of her incontinence pants while on holiday and would occasionally run back to the hotel with pee running down her leg. I found out later this was because she was wearing regular underwear. I was not bothered at all.
I still love her, and I understand her not telling me, as she was embarrassed by it. It’s her little quirk and I love her for it.
40. The Toy Fairy
When I was a kid I used to twist the quarter machines on the way into stores just in case. Got lucky a couple of times and got a few free toys. Now that I’m grown, if I’m leaving a store with them I like to drop change into them if I have it and leave them half twisted.
41. Cinderella Story
There is a girl at my church (I’ll call her M) who is really good friends with my sister. She and her brother recently moved in with an older couple at church because their parents aren’t providing a good home environment for them. Anyways, this couple spent a lot of money making sure M and her brother had good clothes and adequate school supplies, only for M’s parents to call and make her feel bad for being a “charity case.” M felt like people were being nice and giving her things only because of her situation.
Well my mom was talking to the woman that M was living with and found out that M has a military ball coming up (she’s in ROTC) and didn’t want a formal or semi-formal dress because 1) she didn’t want money spent on her and 2) she didn’t think she was pretty enough to wear one. She wanted to wear a plain maxi skirt and the long sleeve t-shirt that she wears to church.
My mom decided that M needed something nice so she and I found a red dress (M’s favorite color) that was made of a soft, stretchy material (she has skin sensitivity issues and since this was going to be a surprise so we wanted to be sure it would fit her). It was casual enough that she’d feel comfortable but nice enough that she wouldn’t feel totally out of place.
My mom and I told M that mom ordered the dress for herself but it came in the wrong size. We thought it might fit her and wanted to see if she’d like to try it on. M looked a little surprised but said sure so a few days later we gave her the dress and she went into the bathroom to try it on. She stepped out and it was perfect. She looked so happy.
42. Prom Prince Charming
My best friend in high school was homely. In our senior year, she kept saying that she didn’t care about prom…even though all of our friends were going, and I happen to know she loves dancing. She’s super cool and down to earth, so it wasn’t too weird that she wouldn’t care about prom but I had a hunch that it was because she didn’t think anyone would ask her.
There was a boy in our grade who I had a few classes with. He was a very laid back, nice guy. I asked him if he had a date for the prom or anyone in mind. He said no, so I suggested he ask my friend. He was totally game! I asked him to please keep it between us that I brought it up, because “it’s way more fun to remember being asked to prom as a complete surprise.” I also nudged him in the direction of asking her in a cute way, and he devised a plan on his own.
She came to school a few days later beaming, saying she would be going to the prom, because she “couldn’t let the guy down.” It was wonderful. We all had a great time. We’ve been friends for 24 years, and she still has no idea I had anything to do with it. She never will.
43. The Legend of the Breakfast Man
Whenever I can, I anonymously buy a meal for a senior citizen eating breakfast alone. I used to get breakfast with my Dad. He passed away suddenly and a few months after, I saw a man eating breakfast alone who looked like my Dad. Right down to the awful gaudy suspenders. It broke my heart. So, I started buying breakfast for a senior dining alone as my random act of kindness that also fulfilled my wish that I could still take my Dad to breakfast.
Unbeknownst to me I became a bit of an urban legend. There was a tiny greasy spoon coffee shop around the corner I’d grab breakfast at often. One time I went to pay and quietly told the woman ringing me up “I also want to pay for the gentleman dining alone in the third both on the right.” She jumped back from the counter, pointed at me and proclaimed, “YOU’RE THE GIRL!” Apparently, the story had been passed around the diner.
44. Santa’s Golden Promise
In December, my best friend’s five-year-old wrote a letter to Santa as part of her kindergarten class. The kindergarten teacher then had the Grade eight students write the replies from Santa. Unfortunately, the grade eight student answering five-year-old’s letter promised her everything she asked for. Five-year-old’s parents found this out two days before Christmas, and they couldn’t find a source for some of the items in time.
So, I’ve been tracking the missing items down on the internet and arranging to have them mailed to the five-year-old with a note from Santa apologizing for the delay. So instead of living in a world where Santa breaks his promises, she gets occasional surprise parcels in the mail from Santa.
45. The Beer Gods
One time when I was 14, my dad, his friend’s nephew, and his stepson were riding their motorcycles around when we heard a loud crash, and kids yelling. My dad takes off, tipping over his beer in the process. As he runs off, I pick up the beer, brush all the dirt off of, and sit it back up right where he dropped it. After everything’s said and done, scrapes and bruises accounted for, he comes back to find his beer standing upright.
The look on his face was priceless, he thanks the ale gods for saving his beer, and told the story of his magic beer. I decided I’d never ruin it. I’m the beer god. Sometimes I swap the almost empty beers in friends’ cozies out with fresh ones without them ever noticing. Nobody’s sure who does it. Gotta keep the magic alive.
46. Conductor Forever
My dad can’t work anymore due to ill health. He receives a little money from the government, just enough to get by. One of his biggest passions before he had to finish work was building model railways. He has two, both are still unfinished. He had to stop working on them because he no longer had the money to continue. When I took over looking after his finances I started to transfer some extra money from my wages into his bank account so he could start working on it again.
I told him there had been a rise in his benefits as I know he would never accept the money from me. It isn’t much, but at least now he can buy himself one or two bits every month to keep himself busy, and happy.
47. Christmas Giving
I come from a somewhat larger family (four older siblings). For the past few Christmases, we’ve drawn names for who gives gifts to who. A few years ago while I was a freshman in high school, I drew my sister’s name. She was recently married and I overheard that her and her husband were struggling a little bit with money. So for my gift I got her a shirt, but I hid a $100 bill in the small box I wrapped with a note explaining where it was so she didn’t throw it out.
It was a secret because I knew that if mom and dad knew, they would say, “That was very nice of you, but let us handle that, we’re the parents.” I wanted it to be just between me and her. Still makes me happy to remember the silent look she gave me and mouthed “Thank you.”
48. Vacation from Afar
Without revealing too much information, my previous job had a major perk: a lottery system in which the winners got to accompany a group to various locations in the world for a hybrid vacation/work trip. I won the lottery one year and was selected to go to Istanbul. I heard a coworker talking to her spouse on the phone about how bummed she was she did not get it.
She had hoped to visit a long-lost family member. She is a quiet, sweet, helpful person. Very behind the scenes, rather underappreciated. I gave up my spot due to a “prior commitment.” She got to go instead. I had a great time looking at her pictures.
49. Boss Points
I stay after work sometimes for an extra 10-30 minutes just to hang out with my boss. He thinks it’s cause he gives me a beer and I got nothing better to do, but I do it because he’s a sad guy at heart with a lot of pain in him. I try to keep him company because we’ve developed a sort of “father/son” relationship and I don’t want him to feel lonely. I poke fun at him and try to make him laugh so maybe he feels a bit better.
50. The Secret Housekeeper
My mom works really stressful hours, so she thinks my dad is the one cleaning the house and doing all the laundry when really it’s me. He thinks she’s doing it, she thinks he’s doing it. No one ever talks about it but I don’t take credit because it makes them more relaxed and happy with each other.
51. Sneaky Dollar
A friend of mine has problems with paying his bills. His parents don’t support him that much and he can’t get a good student loan because of stupid regulations. He is about to get his bachelor’s degree and has to be in lab almost all day, thus he cannot work more than a few hours a week. I sometimes leave behind 5-20 bucks randomly lying around in his room to support him. He wouldn’t take the money if I gave it to him directly.
52. A Few Simple Words
My niece hasn’t got a very nice mother. Since she was born, I have been anticipating the day she starts realizing what kind of person her mum is and beginning to turn her back on her. She is only five now and since she could walk and talk I have seen many occasions where she will be genuinely sad and crying and needing comforting from her mum who will physically push her away and say, “No, go away.” There are countless other issues.
My little secret is every time I see my niece, even if it’s been months between visits or only a day, I always greet her and always say her the same thing: “I missed you. I love you. Tell me about your day.” I hope that when she’s older and if she needs family, she can see me and know that she is cared about and that she can talk to me about anything.
53. Good Guy Grandpa
Nobody knows about this secret except me. My dad walked out on me when I was 14, but he kept in touch with my older brother. He bought my older brother a car, a $3,000 DSLR camera (when they were a new thing), took him on trips, etc. He hasn’t said a word to me since I was 14, though. I don’t know why. All I know is it’s messed up.
Anyway, when I turned 16 my grandfather went out and bought me a car. He’d have me over a couple weekends every month to help him around the house, help work on the boats with him, etc. At the time I thought he just needed help. I thought my problems with my dad were my fault for misbehaving for something, and that nobody in my family knew about them except me and my mom.
The older I get, the more I realize my mom must have gone to him over the way my father was treating me, and he stepped in to help raise me. He was the best man I ever knew.
54. Paying the Bills
My uncle is a truly fantastic guy. He’s the sort of dude that would give you the shirt off his back without a second thought. He’s the only truly kind and generous person I’ve ever met. He took me in twice when me and my parents were having problems. Once for two weeks, once for a full year. He’s always been who I go to for advice, because I genuinely want to be just like him.
Last year he collapsed in the kitchen. I was there when it happened. That was the start to a seemingly unending battle with his health. He’s had to quit his job, and it’s put him into some intense financial distress. He would never accept help from anyone. I asked my aunt if I could help pay their bills, it took a while, but eventually she agreed. He has no idea my husband and I give them several hundred dollars a month.
55. Homeless Lives Matter
When I have spare money, I’ll go to a shop and buy all the basics a person would need, like a toothbrush and toothpaste, deodorant, baby wipes, dry shampoo, plasters, high energy snacks that will keep for a long time (granola bars, breakfast bars etc.), and a few pre-made sandwiches. I take it all in the bag and walk around, and give it to the first homeless person I see.
I don’t stop to talk to them, because I don’t want to sit and listen to them thank me or feel embarrassed. I just want to make a little bit of a positive difference in people’s lives.
56. The Good Wings
At the beginning of our relationship, I noticed that when we shared chicken wings, my girlfriend preferred the wingettes (or flats). So I always reached for the drumettes whenever we ordered wings. My girlfriend thinks I like the drumettes better, while actually, I too prefer wingettes. This is a secret I will never tell her, because she would feel bad about it.
57. Cupid on Earth
Back in college I liked to do special things for my friends on Valentine’s Day. One year I taped chocolate boxes to their doors, and the next year I taped bags of heart-shaped cookies. My friends would find out that it was me one way or another, but it still felt good to do something nice. The next year, after most of my dorm friends graduated, I still wanted to do something nice.
So I created about 150 little paper envelopes and at around 2 a.m. I set out to taping them on all the doors on my floor. I then filled every tiny envelope with a few heart-shaped Reese’s and Snickers candies. It probably took about 2 hours to completely finish. I know a few chocolates really aren’t that big of a gift, but I wanted everybody to feel some love on Valentine’s Day.
The next day, some of the RA’s posted about it on Facebook. They were saying that we had the best residents. It made me feel really warm and fuzzy inside, but I never let any of them know that I was the one that did it.
58. A Real Hayley Williams
During the middle of my junior year of high school a girl transferred from another nearby school because she was bullied and harassed both in-person and online. After a lot of digging online, I found her Tumblr. After scrolling through her blog, I found out she was actually super into singing and that her idol was Hayley Williams, the lead singer of Paramore.
So one day in class I causally said that she reminds me of “this singer from a band I like” and the look of absolute joy on her face when I said Hayley Williams was absolutely incredible. After that, she was visibly more comfortable and confident, and she even got a few people together to rehearse as a band! They played at our school’s talent show senior year and the first song of their set was by Paramore.
59. Snow Story
When I was 17 years old my BFF and I decided to take the snowmobiles out for a ride in the blizzard. We thought it would be amazing to hit some fresh forming powder and drifts. The visibility was low, so we stuck to the main roads. We ended up on a desolate road with two homes and acres and acres of farmland. As we got close to the homes, we noticed some lights and went over to see what was going on.
It turned out that the old couple living there had ventured out to the store to get food in case they got snowed in. They made the long drive, and everything went fine until they slowed down to turn into the drive. The car was completely stuck. My friend and I dug the car out, shoveled the driveway, and made sure they got the car in the garage.
Lo and behold the next day at church this couple was there. At the end of the service, the old man gets up and tells everyone about their trip the night before. He said two angels appeared, barely spoke, unstuck his car and disappeared. He said that he had been pleading with the Lord for some help but figured it could never arrive because no one ever travels the road. My mom looked at me and knew it was me. She didn’t say anything, I didn’t say anything.
60. Best Brother Ever
My 15-year-old little sister has a small book review blog she’s really proud of. I use a VPN to make it look like there are people all over the world that read her blog. I comment in other languages sometimes too. She’s working on her Spanish and French to respond in simple phrases.
61. Old New Phone
A friend of mine was going through some rough times and needed a new phone, so I gave her my iPhone 4. She refused at first, but I said that I won it and it was just going to sit in a drawer anyway when in fact I had paid outright for the phone (600 bucks) and was talking to someone about buying it for $250. She was very grateful.
62. Sticky Little Encouragements
In high school I would put Post-It notes with encouraging messages, inspiring quotes, or just a smiley face around the school.
63. Take My Money!
When I can afford to, I tuck extra $20s in my parents’ and boyfriend’s wallets, so they think they forgot they had extra money. They’ve done so much for me, including covering my bills when I wasn’t able to, and none of them will let me pay them back, so it’s my way of secretly thanking them for their help and support.
64. New Threads
I have a really poor friend who wears the same size of clothing as me. I give him my old clothing but what he doesn’t know is I go out and buy new clothes just for him and I just say they’re stuff I got lucky with at thrifts stores, on super sale, or just stuff I got and didn’t like enough to wear more than once.
65. The Love Rants: A Tape
When I’m in the car with my military-hardened dad, he will occasionally go on long rants about how much he loves, respects, and appreciates my mom for everything she does. He’ll start saying these things completely unprompted and out of the blue, and my mom has no idea. I’ve started recording these with my phone without him knowing, and plan to throw them all together into one big file and play it for them on one of their anniversaries.
When I was a little girl there was an elderly woman who lived alone down the road. One day I saw her digging through the garbage behind a diner and saw she was collecting food. I felt so sad for her that every day after that I would leave my lunch sack and my milk money on her porch. On days I didn’t have school I would get up before anyone and make a sandwich or something for her and drop it off.
I did that for four years, the last time not knowing she had died in her sleep the night before.
67. Tumblr Shame
I would occasionally buy things for people who had wish lists on Tumblr who I followed anonymously. They didn’t know me, I didn’t know them, they just seemed like nice people. I’d never tell anybody IRL as I don’t want them to know.
68. Putting on a Show
I’ve done a lot of embarrassing things over the years that I now feel guilty about. Nevertheless, even with all of those things considered, there is still one particular incident that will always stand out in my memory as the worst thing that I have ever done, by far. The incident in question is the time that I mixed a pot of fake puke together at home, then went out to a movie theater and hid the fake puke in my jacket pocket.
I climbed up to the front of the balcony section, and then let out a loud heaving noise while dumping the contents of the pot all over the shocked and disgusted audience below. This stunt did not end up going over quite the way that I had imagined it beforehand. Warning: what comes next is truly horrible and not for the squeamish.
As soon as the audience heard the sound that I was making and began to feel my gross concoction landing on them from above, a whole bunch of the people in the area below me started to react by getting sick for real and, ironic as it may have been, throwing up all over each other. I have never felt so guilty in my entire life.
69. You Sound Like a Fun-Guy
When I was a young kid, I once went around the backyard of my house and ate all of the wild mushrooms that had been growing there before running back up to my mom and yelling “Mom, mom! Jeff (my little brother’s name) just ate all the poison mushrooms in the backyard!” I then showed her all the leftover stubs as proof.
My brother was immediately rushed to the nearest Emergency Room, where he was given some sort of “coal milkshake” to absorb anything harmful in his stomach as well as some anti-poison stuff through an IV. I really sucked at pranks back then…
70. Don’t Let the Bed Bugs Bite
During my awkward pre-teen phase, I had a sum total of exactly one pal ever come to stay at my house overnight. At one point, I woke up in the middle of the night for no particular reason and became intrigued with watching him sleep. He had kind of long hair, and it was all stretched out above his head in a cool looking way.
So, I did what any other red-blooded 11-year-old boy would do. I stuck toothpicks into it. After a few minutes of this, I pulled them all out, put them away, and went back to sleep. And that’s all there was to it. I still have no idea what in the world I was thinking…
71. The Naked Eye
When I was seven years old, I once saw a cute girl skinny dipping in the lake. While she was in the water, I snuck up along the shore and stole her robe. She was then forced to run back to the nearest change rooms naked and in tears while I secretly watched.
72. Fraud in the First Degree
I never went to college. In fact, I barely even spent any time at a community college before dropping out. Before working at the company where I do now, I had never had a job higher than third assistant manager for a retail store. I was unemployed and really starting to feel stressed out about finding a job before getting evicted from my apartment.
So, one night, in a bout of depression, I made up a fake resume. I gave myself a bunch of awesome past jobs, gave myself a degree from a prestigious college, made up some impressive references, and basically created the perfect profile of an exceptional job candidate. I then submitted it to what was a dream job for me at that time.
Amazingly, I got an interview. At this point, I was thinking that it would be a great story to tell my buddies about after bombing the interview. But I didn’t. It went perfectly. I’m telling you that I could have done that interview 1,000 different times and it would have never come off better than it did in real life. I was simply on fire that day and they ended up offering me the job.
So, I accepted. It was for a salary that was almost 3 times the amount that I had ever earned in my life. I figured at this point that I should give it a try. After all, what was the worst that could happen? I thought that maybe I could get a week or two of paychecks before they caught on and fired me. But that didn’t happen.
I’ve been promoted 4 times since then. After having started off making around $60,000 a year (almost $40,000 a year more than I had ever made before), I now make over six figures a year. Before this job, I had never had a job outside of retail. I turned in the resume more as a joke than anything else, yet it kept snowballing.
It created the life that I now have under totally false pretenses.
73. No One Messes With My Guinea Pig
My mother’s husband killed my pet guinea pig. In response, I scrubbed the toilet with his toothbrush, peed in his wine, put glass shards in his shoe, put hydrogen peroxide in his eye drops, and spiked one of his lunches with ketamine. The worst part? He got into a car accident after the ketamine one. Despite that, I’m still pretty darn proud of what I did.
74. A Trip Down Memory Lane
When I was in elementary school, some kid walked up to me one day, put his arm around my shoulder, and asked: “Hey man, how was your trip?” I told him that I hadn’t had any recent trips. He said, “I can fix that, I’ve got a trip for you!” He then tripped me, causing me to fall on the ground. I was extremely mad at first, but, after a few minutes, I thought it was hilarious and clever.
After calming myself down, I ran up to some smaller kid with glasses who I didn’t know and got to work. I put my arm around him, threw him on the ground, and yelled “HEY, I HOPE YOU ENJOY YOUR TRIP. DID YOU HAVE A TRIP?” I was so embarrassed about having butchered the whole script that I just ran away while some little kid was lying on the ground with broken glasses and crying.
Every time I think of that story, I feel SO bad about what I did. I just wanted to make a funny joke, but I screwed it up, got embarrassed, and fled the scene without helping him. This little kid is probably about 25 or 30 years old by now, and I sure hope that he has contact lenses or some better glasses by now.
I once took a poop in the bathtub and then realized what a horrible mistake I had made. In a panic, I reacted by flinging the poop into a discreet hole in the wall. A few months later, my parents renovated the house and patched up that hole. Therefore, there is now a 15-year-old poop sitting in between the bathroom and kitchen wall of my childhood home.
76. I’m Not Who You Think I Am
My guilty confession is that, while everyone who knows me thinks that I have a good job and nice roommates, I have secretly been homeless and doing sex work to support myself for over a year.
77. Going, Going, Gone
Back in third grade, my family moved cities and I had to change schools. A girl from my class let me borrow her New Kids on the Block tape, her watch, and a pair of earrings the day before my family left. I had never told her that we were moving, so she thought that I was just borrowing her stuff for a day or two at most.
I told my parents that she gave the items to me as a “going away” present. We were really poor and I had nothing even remotely stylish of my own, so I just wanted to start out fresh at my new school with a cool watch and earrings. If I could remember the girl’s name, I would track her down and apologize.
78. Lost in Translation
I speak two languages, so every time I received a new essay assignment in school, I would just browse the internet for existing essays on the topic in my other language, translate the existing essays word for word into English, and then submit them to my professors as my own work. No one ever caught me for plagiarism in all the years that I consistently did this.
79. A Fishing Expedition
One time, when I was a kid, I was pretending to use my father’s fold-up wooden measuring tool as a fishing pole off the side of the living room sofa. My little sister walked by and I accidentally whacked her with it. It broke in half. I made her bring it to my dad and tell him that she broke it, and she got spanked. Sorry about that, Becky.
80. Down the Drain
I once had some triops as pets. For those who don’t know, triops are these cute little crustaceans that look like mini shrimps. I loved them, until they started appearing in my nightmares as massive monsters that turned giant. After that, I murdered the poor buggers by flushing them down the toilet. When my dad eventually asked where they were, I didn’t want to fess up to the murder.
So, instead, I just started crying and said that they had died. My dad was so upset by the sight of his darling daughter crying over a lost beloved pet that he bought me a bike!
81. This One Takes the Cake!
I run a cake business. I charge people hundreds of dollars for a wedding cake. But I have one dark secret: every last one of them is made using a Pillsbury cake mix that I buy for a dollar a box at Walmart. I suck at baking. Every time that I’ve ever tried to make a cake from scratch, it has sucked. Nevertheless, baking is, like, kind of my whole deal at this point.
My friends all call me the cake girl. It’s as if my whole life is a lie. People compliment my cakes all the time. They constantly come up and tell me how delicious they are and how much better they taste than ones from a mix. They tell me that they could never bake a cake so good. Well, guess what! For just a dollar, they too could make a cake just as good! All they would have to do is just add oil, eggs, and water.
In my defense, I love cake decorating. I make all of the frostings and fondant from scratch. I just hate actually baking the cakes! I base my prices mostly on the decoration of the cakes and not on the cake itself if that makes sense. Still, no one knows the truth about this except for my husband. Even my best friends think that I literally slave over the oven all day mixing and baking these darn cakes.
I have been doing this for YEARS at this point, so there’s no going back now. If anyone found out, my business and reputation would both go straight down the toilet without a doubt. I keep telling myself that I have to learn how to make the darn cakes without the box mixes, but I never actually do it. I feel like such a sham sometimes.
82. Bringing Out the Animal in You
One day, a girl in my class brought a “Sylvanian Families Playhouse” toy to elementary school. It was filled with those little toy animals dressed as humans. When everyone was out on recess, I deliberately, and calculatingly, took all of the arms and legs off of the toy animals. Luckily, the limbs were easy to pop in and out without damaging the toys.
Nevertheless, I was already feeling guilty while doing it, so I didn’t even look as I worked on the beasts. I eventually left the limbless bodies of those animals lying all over the inside of her playhouse before rejoining my classmates outside as if nothing had ever happened.
83. Who Ever Herd of Such a Thing?
When I was 10 years old, I once stuffed my uncle’s boots full of goat poop. When confronted with my crime by the adults, I blamed another boy. The poor kid got punished, while I escaped justice entirely.
84. And They Both Lived Creepily Ever After
I once offered to help out my female friend’s family by taking care of their cat for a week. Every day for the whole week, I would go over there and snoop around their house. One day, I found my friend’s diary and proceeded to read the entire thing. I used the information in it to get her to like me, and she is currently my wife.
85. A Shot in the Dark
While on deployment, I killed a man in a coup de grace. The feelings that come with taking a man’s life always weigh a heavy burden on me, every single day. No one likes hurting people. This guy had been hit by some of our mobile artillery. While a part of me just wanted the enemy to be in pain, I knew it wasn’t right.
My medic was busy with my wounded and, as the officer on duty, I took out my .45 and put one in his head. I knew my boys wouldn’t say anything. Most just watched, accepted it as a fact of war, and kept walking. I remember throwing up afterwards. When I came home, everyone acted like I was a hero. I never felt like more of a sham my entire life.
86. Home Alone
Once, when I was wight years old and my sister was 13, my parents went out for the night and let her babysit me for the first time without the help of any of our older cousins. We had always had problems getting along with each other and she was pretty darn mean to me sometimes, so that was the main reason that she had never been allowed to do so before.
For no particular reason—I think she may have called me a dork or something—I decided I would get my revenge on her once and for all. When it started to get close to the time when my parents were supposed to be coming back, I decided to wait near the front windows and watch for them while she was off watching TV or something in another room.
Then, when I saw my parents’ car coming up the street, I quickly ran over to the corner of the room and stood there facing the wall as though I had been sitting there all night as a punishment. When my parents came in and found me like that, I instantly turned on the fake waterworks and told them that my sister had forced me to stand in the corner since just ten minutes after they had left, allegedly because I was a “loser.”
She got grounded for three weeks.
87. An Improper Business Model
This is a horrible secret that I’ve kept for nearly two decades at this point. During the summers when I was growing up, my parents would often leave my brother and me with our aunt and uncle who lived out in the country. It was great, as they had four sons of ages close to ours, so we always had a lot of fun doing kids’ stuff.
One year when I was eight years old, the oldest cousin was maybe about 16. We somehow got to talking and he asked me if I wanted to sleep in his room that night. He had the nicest room and bed, so I was all for it. When we got into bed, he asked if I wanted to kiss him. I was 8 and just thought it was ok, so I said sure.
As soon as I did it, he handed me some money and told me never to tell anyone about what had just happened. The next night, he wanted to do the same thing. At this point, I realized that I could make a lot of money off of him by continuing to play along, so I agreed. This continued to happen on a regular basis for two summers.
Eventually, I got old enough to realize that this situation was quite wrong regardless of how much money I was getting. I put a stop to it at that point and never told anyone about it. Today, both of us are grown up and married with children. We often see each other at family events. I don’t have the guts to even try and talk to him about it. Heck, I’m not even sure what I’d say!
88. You’ve Got a Friend in Me
My secret confession is that I hate all of my friends. Literally. I don’t have a single thing in common with any of them, and I don’t care about their lives or anything that they have to say. At the same time, I choose to keep hanging around them because I’m too scared to be alone and have no one else to go to if I’m ever in need.
89. On the Other Side of the Screen
I’m an IT guy, and my confession is that I read and watch everything that my coworkers do on their computers while at work. It’s amazing what people will do and say online despite having signed a waiver that all computer activity at work is monitored and recorded. I have half the company’s banking, social media, and personal email account info and passwords.
I know who is secretly sleeping with who at the office behind their spouses’ backs. I know when people are having marital problems or financial problems. But the worst thing I ever found out? A person here had their children taken away from them because a social worker found drugs in their house. I know who is embezzling money.
I know when people get fired for completely ridiculous reasons—like the boss just wants to replace them with someone younger and nicer on the eyes. And, best of all, I know who my boss is buying drugs from. Basically I have a treasure trove full of my coworkers’ personal secrets. I won’t actively do anything with this info, but it’s nice knowing that I have the ammunition there in case something were ever to happen.
90. Bedtime Story
When I was 13 years old, I caught my father in bed with my 15-year-old brother’s girlfriend, who was also 15. I haven’t seen her since, but I’ve been blackmailing my father with this info for the past six years.
91. Pillow Talk
Every night when I go to bed, I have a little pillow and an assortment of blankets that I pretend is this girl I like. She would never like me in real life—in fact, she doesn’t—so I just play pretend. I tuck it in, talk to it, and wish it goodnight before closing my eyes for the evening. It’s inherently creepy, I know, but it’s what keeps me from being a total wreck all the time.
92. They Grow Up So Fast
In third grade, I cheated on my history exam. In fourth grade, I stole my uncle Max’s toupee and then glued it onto my face when I was playing Moses in a Sunday School play. In fifth grade, I knocked my sister Edie down the stairs and blamed it all on the dog. In sixth grade, when my mom sent me away to a summer camp for fat kids and then they served lunch, I went nuts and pigged out to the point where they kicked me out of the program.
93. Diamonds Are a Guilty Girl’s Worst Enemy
I have to confess that my giant, sexy engagement ring is really just a fake diamond. You, my dear coworkers, all love it to death and go on and on about how amazing it looks because you think my fiancé dropped $10,000 on it. In reality, it cost $50 on eBay.
94. A Fair Weather Friend
Way back in second or third grade, I was going to school in the north Chicago suburbs. I had a “friend” named Seth. I put the word “friend” in quotation marks because I would typically treat him like a friend when nobody was looking, but like a total douche when anyone was. I guess I did so to prove how “tough” I could be to everyone around us.
Seth was a really nice guy. He was very soft-spoken, wore glasses, and sadly, everyone picked on him. One day, we were walking out of school to the bus to go home. It was right around Mother’s Day, and Seth was carrying something. I think it was a plant, but I’m not positive. It was his present to his mother for Mother’s Day.
Kids were teasing him, and I saw my chance to be a tough guy. I wish I could erase what happened next. So, I knocked it out of his hand to the ground, watching the pot shatter to pieces. The bullies laughed. Seth cried. I got on the bus and went home. To this day, probably about 20 years later by this point, I still feel more guilt over that one moment than over just about anything else that I’ve ever done.
Seth, if you’re out there, I’m really sorry man…
95. Speaking Ill of the Dead
My cousin tragically passed away when we were both just 17 years old. There was a reception at his family’s house just after the funeral. During the reception, when no one was looking, I went into his room at one point and stole all of the money that was lying around. I also took some other valuables that his parents wouldn’t realize were gone.
No one knows that I did it, as they probably just assumed that he didn’t have any money in his room aside from some loose change. I don’t regret it, but I will never admit I did it either.
96. Turning the Tables
There was a girl who I had a crush on from the very first moment I saw her on my college campus. She ended up starting to date a jerk a few weeks later. I happened to end up sitting in a study room with him and a few mutual friends one day. He talked about how he didn’t think she was that attractive and how he liked other girls.
I wrote the girl an anonymous email using one of those sketchy websites, telling her all about the things that I heard and how the guy was a jerk. She ended up breaking up with him after she found out he was cheating. The girl has now been my girlfriend for the past six months. She has no idea that I was the one who sent her that email and initiated the process that would break up her previous relationship.
She is also sitting right across from me in the library as I’m typing this. I’ve never told anyone about it before, and don’t plan on her ever finding out.
97. Free Falling
I pushed a third-grade kid over for no reason back when I was in the sixth grade. He started crying, so I panicked and ran away. I turned my head back at one point to take a look and the kid was all alone on the playground, sitting in his own tears. I’m sorry.
98. Unfinished Business
My confession is that I faked the last two years of my college education. My parents put so much pressure on me to succeed that I just couldn’t handle it anymore. I was suffering from severe depression and anxiety to the point where I couldn’t cope with anything, so I faked it all. I lied to everyone. I made up fake transcripts.
I got my foot in the door in my desired field thanks to a friend, as he hired me as a subordinate. This place only hires college grads, but no one double-checked my credentials since I was recommended to them. My hope is that if I ever need to find another job, I’ll have been at this place long enough to get it by my experience alone.
I work for a very prestigious company. I’m not bad at my job. On the contrary, I’m actually quite good at it. But my fear is that, eventually, I’ll hit a wall and the lie will come to light. No one has known about this for the better part of a decade now. It’s a relief to finally say this “out loud.” I can’t even tell those I love about it. My silence is my prison.
99. Seeing People at Their Worst
I used to be a 9-1-1 police and fire dispatcher but had to quit because it nearly made me suicidal. I have kept my struggles completely secret for several years now, and no one knows the true reason why I quit. At one point, I became so depressed as a result of the things I witnessed in that job that I actually began to have serious thoughts of killing myself.
Thankfully, I managed to force myself to drive 40 miles away to go to a hospital center where no one knew me so that I could seek help without fear of being recognized and revealing my secret. I was having nightmares about a few calls that I had taken where the callers had either killed themselves, killed someone else, or passed away while on the phone with me.
To this day, a few years after my resignation, I still can’t listen to a phone ring or to sirens going off without having a mild panic attack. I am fairly sure that what I have is a form of PTSD, as it includes flashbacks, nightmares, panic attacks, and an inability to function sometimes. Nevertheless, I’m embarrassed and scared to tell my fiancé or anyone else I know about this part of my life.
I am very good at hiding it, though. I sometimes wait until my fiancé goes to sleep, and then I go sit by myself in the other room and pretty much cry my eyes out for several hours. It’s a nightmare.
100. A Fresh Start?
I got tired of my ordinary life, so one day I just abruptly cut off all contact with every single person that I knew and moved all the way to Kenya. I now go by a fake name and a completely made-up background story here, and I have made it appear to my family back home as if I got killed on a boat trip in the Pacific.
No, I am not joking. I am really believed to be dead in the United States, while I am secretly living it up in Africa under a false identity. How’s that for a confession?!
101. Last Words
When I was 17 years old, I once had an argument with my father and told him I hated him. Later that evening, he hung himself. Our argument was the last time that he ever spoke to anyone in our family and, for that, I feel a terrible amount of guilt to this day. Instead of him saying goodbye and I love you to my mom and brothers, he was told that he was hated by his own son before he went and killed himself.
My punishment now is to live the rest of my days in immense shame and guilt. He never left a note to explain why he did it either, leaving us all totally in the dark and leaving me to feel like the whole thing might have been because of the argument.
102. Can’t Put a Price on Education
On September 14th, 1986, my dad dropped me off at boarding school and gave me a five-dollar bill. I never heard from him again. He never paid my tuition bill. So, from the age of 14, I took every job I could get and worked my way through. At $4 an hour, I didn’t even come close to paying off my entire bill, but the school let me stick around because I was a model student in and out of the classroom.
We get to graduation. I opened my little diploma thing expecting to see a bill in five figures. Instead there was a note: “Congratulations on your graduation. A group of us who believe in you and love you have taken care of your bill. We are proud to present you with your diploma.” I later found out that one of my friend’s dad, a fairly well-off dentist, went fundraising among his golf buddies because he didn’t want to see me enter life at 18 under crushing debt.