People are just the worst. Sure, maybe not everyone, but nothing will make you furious faster than an entitled/annoying/rude jerk, and they seem to be absolutely everywhere. At school, at work, even in our own homes. These people couldn’t keep in their frustration, and have shared their insane stories about the most infuriating human beings they have ever encountered.
1. Here Today, Gone Tomorrow
My son got a $200,000 inheritance when his father passed away two years ago. He is now completely broke.
2. Cold, Cold Heart
I deliver appliances for Best Buy. We once had a woman call and complain that her fridge was not pre-cooled before it was delivered and that she had to wait for it to come down to temp. No one in the office was prepared for that one.
3. Save It for Later
Oh man, thanks for asking this one, I’ve got a great one. This happened at my former restaurant. There was a reservation for 6:00, a young guy comes in a few minutes early, tells me he’s kind of nervous because it’s a first date and he hasn’t had many before, blah blah blah, kind of sweet really. Anyway, the girl arrives about half-an-hour late and proceeds to get very, very drunk.
About mid-way through the meal, she answers her phone, takes the call, and starts talking about her date, in front of her date, saying stuff like, “Well, he’s not usually my type, I don’t exactly like him, but I felt like why not,” right in front of him. The young man looks so discouraged, walks up to me, pays his bill, and leaves.
He’s a really nice guy, he’s come to the place I work now a few times—but that girl was the absolute worst.
4. No Part of This Makes Sense
Him: “I’m vegan, but I still eat chicken and turkey. So can I get the Cuban (a sandwich with pulled pork and ham) made with turkey instead of the ham?” Me: Sure, so do you want me to take the pulled pork off as well? Or make it with double turkey? Him: No, leave that on. Me (with visible confusion): Okay?…
He comes back later with his lady, all mad saying that he wants a new sandwich because he didn’t know pulled pork was from pig—and, of course, he doesn’t eat pig because he’s apparently “vegan.” I also forgot the mention the sandwich comes with cheese. He didn’t complain about that part for some unknown reason…
I’m amazing my head didn’t straight up spin off while talking to him.
5. Fast and Furiously Spoiled
In high school, this one rich kid was bragging that he got in his third fender bender in his “old” car (three years old) that his parents gave him, but he hated, so his parents were buying him an entirely new (current year) car to incentivize him to drive better.
I was teaching a sweet 13-year-old girl who obviously couldn’t see the board very well and needed glasses, as she was falling behind in class. I called her mother—this is in south London so imagine a Jade Goody voice—and her mum told me to screw off and that “I didn’t need freaking glasses, my mother didn’t need freaking glasses so she doesn’t need any freaking glasses” and hung up.
In that situation, you just feel for the girl.
7. The Mother of All Break-Ups
I’ve had a lot of younger male potential clients come in for divorce consults with their mother. Then, during the consult, the mother does 98% of the talking, and it’s clear who actually wants the divorce (I’ll usually escort Mom to wait in the lobby while I talk to the son directly, and most of the time he’s just there to appease his mother).
On a related note, I once had just the mother call for a consult because she explicitly said that she wanted her son to get a divorce. I politely informed her that’s not how divorces worked…
8. Radical Cure
I had a pregnant woman come into my hospital, and her ultrasound showed the baby had Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome. It means the baby has half a heart, and it’s 100% fatal without surgery. She stopped seeing her obstetrician so she could have the baby in the forest and bathe it in breast milk to cure him.
9. Yea, Why Don’tcha?
I made some comment to my college roommate one time about how annoying the bus route I took to work was, and she turned to me quizzically and said, “Why don’t you just tell your dad to buy you a car?” I was 22 years old at the time. I didn’t even know how to respond, I just stared at her.
10. Did He Order Gazpacho Soup?
When my date complained about the beer selection at a place with over 50 beers on tap, because they didn’t have a specific one he had, “while doing a peace mission,” which was actually just him taking a vacation and staying on peoples couches that he met off the internet in Central America. He also was super judge-y about my taste in beer, music, food, hobbies, and career.
Too “corporate” and too “mainstream.” He also was just a huge tool bag in general—he didn’t even offer to pick up the bill. Like not even his half, I’m fine with going Dutch. He then took a bunch of my leftovers home—that he didn’t pay for!!! Another time, a guy told me he really liked to snuggle with his mom. He was almost 30 years old.
Needless to say, I’ve dated some winners.
11. The Aunts Go Marching
I have an aunt who knowingly put herself into insulin shock at my sister’s wedding because no one was paying attention to her. Then, as if that’s not crazy enough, she did it again at her mother’s funeral! Both times were complete with ambulances and doctors involved.
12. Feeding Further Questions
I recently overheard a girl in my 11th-grade health class state that “breastfeeding is unnatural.” Where do you even begin with something like that?
13. Save the War for Home
Went to a destination wedding in a Mexico resort. Rich kids rented a golf cart, tore through the streets and flipped the cart (injuring people and causing a huge commotion and traffic jam). A Mexican lady comes out and begins to scold them for their behavior. “You wouldn’t act this way at home!” I could not believe his answer.
He just looked at her and said, “I promise you we do.” It was the earnestness of his reply that got me. He really believed that he was placating her with that response. There’s gotta be a German word for something being funny because the other party is aloof to their own behavior.
14. Literally Living in His Dad’s Shadow
I taught first grade at a small private school. My first year, I had the ultimate helicopter parent. He looked at everything and got on his child’s case about everything from his test scores to the quality of his homework. He always had questions about the curriculum, my teaching methods, etc. The child was a bit of a precocious boy, very smart but already rebelling from being under his dad’s thumb all the time.
The dad would want to come in and observe the student’s behavior. Dad would volunteer in the classroom but would spend most of his time critiquing his son. He’d then want to have long conferences about his son’s behavior. I told him I thought his son acted out more when he was there and that I didn’t think he should be in the classroom anymore and the dad’s solution was to install a camera in the classroom so he could observe him without actually being there.
Obviously, that didn’t happen. I learned a lot about setting boundaries that year.
15. I Now Pronounce You Squatter and Wife
My aunt was dating this unemployed dude for a while. He was staying in her house rent-free. They got married and were getting ready to go on the honeymoon when the new husband tells her he’s not going because he has to take care of his plants at the house. Big fight. Aunt goes on the honeymoon with her sisters instead.
She comes home and tries to kick him out of her house; he refuses to leave. She tries to get the police involved. Dude is live streaming on Facebook how he is being trapped in his own home. Police tell my aunt there is basically nothing they can do. She can file for eviction after a divorce. Dude gets to live in her house with his precious plants for like three months until everything legally gets worked out.
16. Wishful Thinking
I’m part of a military medical unit, not a doctor, but I once had a patient tell me that there was no credible research that smoking was bad for one’s health. Okay.
17. A Long List of Worries
My kid is lazy, he lies about everything, and he steals from everyone. I love him so much and I’m at a loss. I’m sincerely afraid that he’s going to end up in prison someday.
18. Fast and Furious
A very entitled lady once told me that I shouldn’t work on my own car in my own garage during the day, because she didn’t want my fast-looking car to influence her sons “to be hooligans like you.”
19. Bad Date Topics
We had our flight canceled due to a snowstorm on Christmas Eve. The only place open for dinner was an Indian restaurant. There were a few customers in there. It was an interesting looking bunch, sort of what you’d expect eating out on Christmas Eve. This one couple though looked to be in their 40s. A guy and a woman.
She never said a word and looked like she was in a trance. The guy though kept talking at her in this slow monotone: “And another thing I hate about you,” and proceeded to critique her while she continued to stare into space.
20. Mr. Know-It-All Goes to Washington
When I worked in Congress, I frequently gave tours of the Capitol. As I was wrapping up the tour, one of the constituents asked me to explain the difference between the Capitol and the White House. Ok sure, not everyone is knowledgeable about American government. I gave them a quick explanation and figured it would be sufficient.
Nope, I was clearly mistaken. I then proceeded to listen to this person loudly proclaim that I was incorrect and that “the White House is the same thing as the Capitol.” Bruh…
21. Unreal Estate Problems
My brother works at a rehab center for the kids of wealthy parents. He’s always got stories, but the one that sticks with me the most was a kid who was in trouble with the law and doing rehab before his court appearances. You know, to look like a better person and hopefully the judge would go easier on him.
He was mopey one day and my brother asks him what’s wrong. The kid starts talking about how tough the whole experience has been for him, how it’s been so hard on his family that his parents had to sell his house to pay for his rehab. My brother felt sympathetic and says, “Damn, that sucks that your parents had to sell their house over this,” to which the rich kid corrected him, “No, they kept their house. They had to sell mine.”
22. Writings of a Madman
This is an actual letter that I once received from a student’s parent: “Do not ever write down my son’s name as Chris M. just because another student has his same first name. He is receiving unequal treatment because you are addressing him by his first name and the first letter of his last name. This is deeply unfair and I will be talking to your principal.”
23. The Claws Come Out
Paralegal here. A couple got divorced over a cat. Wife called cat Snowball because of white fur and only wanted the cat to eat wet food or chicken breast. Husband called cat Lily, again, because of white fur, and believed it should only eat dry food. These two argued for a year over custody of the cat but did not give a darn about their human kids aged six, four, and 15 months.
24. Disease Machine
Optician here. We had a patient who refused to let us use the tonometer, which is a machine that checks ocular internal pressure to diagnose glaucoma. He said that machine gives you glaucoma, and we weren’t going to pull that on him. He told us his father got an exam, and had glaucoma after using that machine.
His uncle and brother also had no signs of glaucoma, and after getting the puff test, both people had been diagnosed with the disease. Glaucoma doesn’t have any outward symptoms before you start going blind. This idiot just told me he has a very strong familial disposition to glaucoma and refused to be tested for it.
25. At Least They’re Happy With Somebody!
My ex-husband was like the son that my parents had always wanted their actual son to be. So, they’re pissed at my brother for not being more like him, and they’re pissed at me because I divorced him. Double-whammy. Never mind the fact that we just fundamentally did not work as a couple.
They basically see it as me stealing away their one chance at having “The Perfect Child” in a son-in-law.
26. We Can Work It Out
A woman once came up to me and told me that I needed to leave the gym because I was making her son feel like only fat people go to the gym.
27. Gone in 60 Seconds
A girl and guy came into the barbecue restaurant I worked at. They met at the door exchanging the usual, “Hi, nice to meet you!” pleasantries. The guy was a complete jerk. She ordered ribs, and he said, “Do you want to keep that hot figure of yours or look like that chick over there?” while pointing at a slightly overweight woman nearby.
Then, when they were waiting to pay, he straight-up starts flirting with the woman behind them. She waited until he paid then left without waiting for the food. At my work you ordered, then paid, then the food was brought to you. She left before the date even really started—and I have to say, I don’t blame her one bit!
28. Sing, Sing, Sing
There was a girl who used to be part of this group of friends who I would see on the odd occasion when I was a teen. I only ever met her twice, but on both occasions, she started to full-on sing super loudly whenever everybody else was talking and not involving her in the conversation. Yeah, that’s very cool and normal…
29. Booking Problems
In 12th grade, I was going on a class trip to Disney World. Our teacher chaperones were all bustling around at the gate, making sure that everyone was ready to board the plane.Idiot Girl: “I lost my boarding pass! I must have left it at the bookstore I was browsing in!” Teacher: “Run back to the bookstore and see if they have it!”
Girl leaves for like five minutes and then returns. Teacher: “Did you find it?” Girl: “No.” Teacher: “Did you go back to the bookstore you were in before?”Girl: “No. That one was really far away, so I went to the closer one.”Entire Class: Silently staring with mouths open. I never forgot that girl’s stupidity for the rest of my life.
30. Money Please!
I work for a dentist, and her son is a spoiled brat. He was at the office one day because she had to bring him to an appointment later that day. He got bored and went out wandering around some of the local shops. He came back a little while later and without any preamble walked up to her and said, “Give me $80.” She asked him what it was for, and he just repeated himself and she gave it to him.
So, the kid is 19 years old; he was 17 at the time of this incident. The father is in the picture, but my boss (the dentist) is the main breadwinner and disciplinarian of the family. The husband is more like another child and just works here and there and lives off her money. She tries to act tough and instill certain morals and values in her kids, but then turns around and caves to all of their demands.
For example, her twin daughters are going to university next year and instead of staying in a dorm they demanded a two-bedroom, two-bathroom apartment. They refused to share a bedroom or even a bathroom. At first, she told them absolutely not; but they whined and complained, and she caved. This will be a two-bed, two-bath apartment in Toronto by the way where rent prices are through the roof.
My boss is very much about appearances and from a young age got her rich kids accustomed to a privileged lifestyle. She created monsters. Yes, they are totally like Jean Ralphio and Mona Lisa Saperstein.
31. No Longer a Child
I teach at a university, and on a couple of occasions, I’ve had angry parents calling my office wanting to talk about why their kid isn’t doing well in my class. I’m required to say that I’m legally not allowed to confirm or deny any student’s enrollment in my class or discuss any student’s progress in my class with anyone but the student, which ruffles a lot of parental feathers.
On one occasion, I had said my spiel to a parent and gotten the usual: “I pay their tuition, it’s my money so it’s my right, etc.” in return. Fed up, I replied with, “If you’d like to set up a proxy, you’ll need to go to the registrar for a form which your son can fill out and sign, and that will allow me to talk to you.”
The parent totally lost their temper at that point. They completely snapped and screamed, “HE WON’T SIGN IT,” followed by a stream of insane verbal abuse and obscenities, mostly speculating about my parentage and my educational attainment. Good lord. I just have no clue why your kid doesn’t want to talk to you about his grades.
PSA—If you are a college student, please be aware that your parents are NOT legally entitled to information about you, even if they pay your tuition. If you are a parent of a college student, please be aware that your kid is considered an adult by their institution, and professors aren’t just being obstructionist jerks when they won’t—as in can’t—give you information.
32. Not What the Doctor Ordered
I’m a divorce lawyer, and my client put his wife in an assisted living facility based on a misdiagnosis, the medication of which caused the wife to be unable to care for herself. While in the facility, my client—shocker—started dating another woman and methinks began using hard drugs. He used a loooot of money on both of these things. She eventually got off the medication and got better.
Suffice to say, she was not happy about what had transpired.
33. Annoying Family
An 80-year-old male patient was declining with multiple diagnoses and three bedsores. The daughter was adamant that her father was kept on his strict “paleo” diet because that would “supercharge” his healing. She had a stack of diet books. He simply wasn’t getting enough nutrition to heal the ulcers. He didn’t like the diet at all.
At some point, you kind of have to stop being polite, and just tell patients/family members bluntly that you don’t have time for this and what you recommend, and they can do what they want and just document everything. It happens a lot but she sticks out.
34. Too Much to Handle
My son is 23 years old. He is incredibly mean to everyone around him, including his girlfriend and their kids. He tells her things like, “That’s why nobody likes you,” and tells me things like, “My kids don’t even like you.” I had to cut him out of my life because the hurt he was causing me was unreal. I couldn’t deal anymore.
It got to the point where I was having issues in my daily life because of it.
35. Civil War
When I was in the military, there was a private in my unit who once said to the first sergeant, “I’m not trying to pull rank or anything, sir, but my mother is a major.” The guy literally thought that he could get away with bossing around the command team because his mother outranked them. Let’s just say he didn’t end up lasting too long in the military.
36. Mommy Dearest
I work at a bubble tea restaurant right near a college. It’s a nice hangout spot with dim lighting, comfortable furniture, and board games. A lot of first dates happen here. Probably the worst I’ve ever seen was this guy who looked somewhere between 17 and 19 years old. He was meeting up with this girl around the same age.
They got teas, took a seat, played a board game, and talked. His mother sat at the table next to him the entire time, and just stared them down. It made me feel so bad for him—but the icing on the cake is when she goes up to them at 8:30 pm and tells them that it’s time for the two of them—her and her son that is—to head home.
The guy is visibly upset, but says goodbye to his date, and follows his mom out. The girl comes up to order another tea, and I asked her about it. She was more than happy to fill me and the other girls in. This lady had essentially injected herself into the date, interrupting their conversation and critiquing her son’s behavior.
37. Time for a Checkup
My ex is the biggest attention hog that I know. When I told a friend to go check up on her because she kept posting suicidal comments on her social media, she immediately posted a long and dramatic rant about how I was obsessively stalking her. Bro, I literally just checked on you. Calm down!
38. A Penny a Day Keeps Jerks Away
Went to HS with this insufferably rich kid. Family had a couch in their home’s elevator. And classical European sculpture (this was in the US). Kid talked down to/about the less fortunate on a regular basis. Once made fun of me for picking a coin up off the ground.
39. Size Doesn’t Matter
When I was still a student teacher, I was asked by my cooperating teacher to sit in on parent-teacher interviews. The first parent scheduled for that night was the parent of a student who was completely tuned out in my class, usually sleeping, never did any work, never did well on tests or assignments, the usual stuff.
The student was also often caught on his phone in class watching streams on Twitch with the volume on and complaining when his phone would get confiscated. My cooperating teacher tells this parent all of our concerns in the nicest and most polite way possible, going as far as beginning to suggest homework management solutions, study tips, and even formulating a plan of action for the student so that his grades could improve come next term.
Now, if I asked you to go and look up the definition of disconnected in the dictionary, you would find a picture of this woman. Everything my cooperating teacher said, all her concerns, her suggestions, her plans of action for this student, went in one ear and straight out the other. When the teacher finished voicing her concerns/suggestions, I couldn’t believe this woman’s reaction.
She blinks—like one of those “I have no idea what you just said” kind of blinks—pauses for about five whole seconds, then replies with, “How many students are in this class?” My eyes immediately bulged out of my head at that response. This wasn’t a classroom size problem. This was a “your child puts in zero effort” problem.
Still, the teacher politely replies with 26, relatively small for a school of more than 1,700 students. The woman stood up from her seat so violently that the teacher flinched, and proceeded to storm out of the room mumbling, “Too many. Class is too big. Too many kids. Too many.” My cooperating teacher and I were both speechless.
It turns out that she went straight to the principal’s office right after the interview and began to complain to her about the class size and how it was hurting her son’s education. When the principal said that there wasn’t much she could do about the situation, the parent began to complain about how I, the student-teacher, obviously didn’t know what I was doing for her kid to be failing, and that the regular teacher should teach the class alone.
Thankfully, the principal backed me up, but I still couldn’t believe what an airhead this parent was.
40. Two Strikes, I’m out
My jerk cousin told his wife she had three chances to give him a son. Daughter was born first. Strike one. Son was born second. Then they find out the boy can’t eat gluten. So, my cousin divorced her and has made zero effort to see his kids. He would also take off work, and instead of spending time with the babies or her, he’d tell her, “Just act like I’m at work and do all your normal stuff.”
Then he’d watch TV all day. Jerk.
41. We Didn’t Start the Fire
Not my story, rather, my colleague’s. A patient was admitted for anemia and a localized cancer was found. She was referred to surgery so that the cancerous cells could be removed. She started telling everyone that it was the doctors who had caused the cancer and that she was doing just fine before coming to the hospital.
She lectured the surgeon and my colleague, who pleaded with her to get surgery, so that the cancer doesn’t advance, and yet she refused, saying she knew better and probably didn’t even have cancer…
42. Missing the Good Old Days
My oldest son has all kinds of attitude problems. Every day is an uphill battle. He used to be so sweet, loving, and obedient. Now, he’s corrupting his little brother. I’m just exhausted. I miss just being able to love my boys and have fun with them.
43. How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying
I once had a coworker that all of us knew was sleeping with our boss. She only worked part-time hours, yet received full-time pay. She was awful.
44. Don’t Order for the Lady
I witnessed the “shortest date” once. I immediately knew it was a first date because I’d greeted the lady, and directed her to the bar while she waited for her date to arrive, and then saw them introducing themselves when he finally showed up. They ended up in my section, her with an almost empty martini, him still drink-less.
It looked like the small talk was going somewhat well. Normal first approach, good evening, blah blah, what can I get you to drink sir. He orders a Jack and Coke or something similar, I can’t remember exactly, and I ask the lady if I can get her another. Before she has a chance to answer, the guy interrupts, and says water will be fine for her.
Normally, I’d ignore a comment like that, or pretend like I didn’t understand and ask her directly again, but didn’t even have a chance. She went off on him, “How dare you,” etc. etc. She stood up, apologized to the small dining room and to me, and walked out. Though clearly embarrassed, and speechless, the guy stayed and continued to order dinner for himself anyway.
Super awkward. Tipped me well though if I remember correctly.
45. Pointing Fingers
My ex-girlfriend was always an attention-seeker and, when we broke up, she claimed that I assaulted her. When that allegation got cleared up and she found herself completely ostracized from our entire social circle, she went quiet for about a month…and then decided to claim that it was actually the disabled kid in our class who had assaulted her.
She was utterly relentless.
46. Rich Enough to Cheap Out
This girl I know is absolutely clueless. “I could absolutely survive on my own; my parents just pay for my food and house, but I pay for everything else. If I got a job, I could pay for my food and house too.” Said at 18, in the middle of a discussion between two middle-class peers who were talking about saving money because they had to pay for their own college and living expenses.
About five minutes prior to this conversation, both peers had ordered the cheap dinner options and declined a shopping trip later that night, while rich-girl was talking nonstop about buying the best/most expensive souvenirs for her friends. She once tried working a regular-person-retail-job and quit within a couple weeks as it “just wasn’t right and I didn’t like it” (read: had actual responsibilities for the first time).
She moved cross-country for an eight-month education course, where her parents pay food, rent, and school. They also gave her a debit card which replenishes up to $500 when it hits $50…she still posts Snapchats with captions of “that broke person life” over pictures of her getting Starbucks every day and insists she could survive on her own.
Constantly suggests the most expensive options for meals, activities, etc., and tacks on things like “We can just split the bill, I know you’re saving but it’s just [amount at least $50], you’ll be fine right?” Then gets upset when people can’t afford to spend time with her, or when someone dares to suggest that she helps cover costs.
47. Family of Lies
I had a student who repeatedly lied about assignments, saying he’d turned them in and his teachers had lost them. As a team, with admin present, we had a conference with mom and dad, who deflected and provided excuses that he just “Doesn’t like school” and “If my son says he did something, he did it. We value integrity in our family.”
Three months later, some friends of mine invited me to a bar a few towns away to see a band perform. Near the end of the night, I ran into the mom, who was out on a date with a man who wasn’t her husband. From that point on, she wouldn’t return any of my emails or calls about the son’s behavior. She is now an administrator in another county.
48. Not So Sinful as To Not Get One, I See
I’m a divorce lawyer, and my heart went out to this one client’s poor wife. He had OCD which manifested primarily financially, so he made their lives a penny-pinching hell. Examples: he was obsessed with avoiding unnecessary driving (wear and tear on the car, gas expenses), so he cut the whole family’s hair at home and never let them eat at a restaurant or go to the movies.
Weirdest of all: he kept one toilet paper roll on him at all times, and you had to get one square from him before you could go to the bathroom. He never gave more than one square. Wife finally got fed up and left him when 1) he gave her bangs during an in-home haircut and 2) their daughter was so traumatized by the toilet paper thing they couldn’t potty train her.
Also: he HATED paying his divorce lawyer bill. He was also an old-fashioned mega-Catholic who considered divorce a deadly sin. He viewed my whole job as an unnecessary (and sinful) expense.
49. Walking Dead
I didn’t treat this patient, but I was on shift when this guy came in with chest pain. His EKG showed tombstone shapes, meaning he was in the middle of a cardiac episode. He told the emergency doctor, “I want a second opinion before going to the cath lab.” This EKG is unmistakable. The interventionalist had to come down to the emergency department to tell him he was having a heart attack.
50. A Poor Choice of Words
I once witnessed my cousin refusing to take any form of public transportation because, and I quote, “it’s for poor people and mopes.”
51. Wine About It
I worked as a waitress in an Italian restaurant while attending university in 2006. An obvious first date comes in. He’s booked it and requested a table in a secluded area of the restaurant because the acoustics would be perfect. She arrives and asks to move to a table to by the window. No big deal, but he’s annoyed at this.
They ordered a carafe of the house red with their meals. Anything she said, he’d turn it into some achievement he’d already accomplished. He kept making comments about her order, such as how fattening a dish would be, and then proceeded to say his family owned a vineyard, and he knew a good red wine when he smelled one.
He then asked for the most expensive wine on the menu, and to take away the what he called, “poor house wine” then talked about how the bouquet was different, and the clarity was so much better on the “expensive” wine. When it came to dessert, she had enough of his crap and flipped when he said that she shouldn’t have any, or she’d end up with stretch marks.
She was a bit overweight, but not overly so. She stood up and yelled at him for being a condescending piece of crap, for knowing fudge all about wine, and dropped the coup de grâce that her father was our wine supplier and that the house red was exactly the same as the most expensive wine—all of which was totally true.
He was left speechless with the full check to pay.
52. Oh, That’s Rich!
There’s a girl in my college classes who claims that her dad owns a huge professional soccer team. Which one you ask? Unfortunately, she doesn’t remember their name. This same girl claims to be dating one of the LA Lakers, but can’t give his name out to the public. She is also apparently talking to someone who’s in the NFL—you know, just to keep her options open.
She says that her dad works at a local steel factory and that she can’t tell anyone where all of his extra money comes from, because he gives her hush money to keep it a secret. But that’s not the worst part: One day, this girl actually had the gall to call out another girl in class for “lying to fit in.” I could have screamed!
53. 911, How Much is Your Emergency?
I once had a mom ask if I could open up the back of our ambulance so that her kid could see what was inside since he “wanted to be a firefighter” (I’m a medic, not a firefighter). I agree as long as he doesn’t touch anything. Of course, the second the doors open the kid hops in and goes straight for our expensive monitor.
I tell him to stop, that it’s dangerous and could break…to which he starts screaming, “I don’t care, my mom will buy it!” and the mom actually says, “It’s fine, just let him play with it, if it breaks I’ll replace it.” I had to physically pick him up and carry him out of the ambulance since she didn’t even try to control him.
While this is happening, we get paged out for a call and this witch suggests that she could pay double our hourly wage if we stay for a few more minutes so her little brat could explore/destroy more of our equipment! Screw outta here with that nonsense lady. You’re willing to delay an ambulance so you won’t have to deal with precious little Joey’s tantrum? Unbelievable.
54. Get Your Priorities Straight
This was years ago but has stuck with me. I was teaching high school and my class was immediately after lunch. My class is held in a room full of computers, so there is a strict no food/drink policy. Every day, this student brings in a slushy. Every day, I give him the choice to either finish it quickly in the hallway or throw it away.
Obviously, he can’t chug the slushy, so each day he throws most of it away. I ask why he brings it, and all he has for me is that he doesn’t feel like having it during lunch. Cut to conferences. I’m meeting with mom because he is failing. He’s there with her and she doesn’t seem to mind the fact that he’s failing. All she cares about is the $1.25 I’m wasting of hers every day for making him throw out the slushy.
I guess suggesting he eat it during lunch was not the response she was looking for. Thank god my ICR teacher was there with me.
55. In a Divorce Court Far, Far Away
I had a client incur over 20 additional hours of very expensive billable hours just because he and his ex-wife were battling and went to trial over their Star Wars collection. This was the only issue at trial, they were able to work out custody, child support, and the house…but the Star Wars collection went to trial.
The judge ended up splitting it in the worst way possible, basically giving each side half of what they wanted and then mixing and matching everything else and breaking up “collections.” When speaking about it at a conference, the Judge admitted she did it because if they were going to act like children, she would treat them like children. The thing is, the value of this collection was over $100k, so hardly kids’ stuff.
Neither side had it in them to appeal.
56. Spread of Hysteria
I had a mom in hysterics because she was convinced that her neighbor’s friend’s stepson’s teacher’s dog has MRSA, so her baby was going to die. It took everything within me to not tell her she was being unreasonable. But it took three hours for me to finally calm her down after I called: infectious control, her pediatrician, her gynecologist, and her family doctor.
Yes, I had to call all these people; yes they laughed at me; yes she was beside me the whole time questioning their judgment. I love my job, but at times it makes me crazy!
57. Getting Schooled
My daughter is currently home for the summer and heads back to college in a few days. I feel bad for saying this, but I’m honestly ashamed that she’s still enrolled there. This will be her fifth semester there, but she was supposed to have failed all of her classes back in her second semester. And her third. And her fourth.
Every semester, she skips class and parties, not even attempting to do her school work. Then, when the school attempts to kick her out, she appeals the decision and somehow, I honestly have no idea how, she always gets her professors to bump up her grades just high enough for her to pass and continues on for another semester.
She has lost all of her scholarships and grants already. Initially, I was paying whatever tuition costs were left over, and then was paying 75% of her tuition while she received student loans for the rest of the amount. She was home for break last semester and I overheard her on the phone bragging to one of her friends about how she doesn’t have to do any work because all she has to do is file an appeal to pass her classes.
I was absolutely appalled and, now that I know that, I’m not paying another dime for her. I just don’t understand why she does it, or if I’m somehow responsible for causing this behavior as her father. But we were poor when she was younger and, even now, we’re maybe lower middle class at best. She certainly wasn’t spoiled in any way and she saw how hard I worked to provide for her.
We had an agreement that when she turned 16, if she wanted a car, she was responsible for paying for gas. When that time eventually came, she got a part-time job, so I got her a used car. My thought was that working to earn gas money would teach her firsthand the value of a dollar. That was the best way I could think of to teach her and give her some real-life experience.
I don’t know if it didn’t stick or what, but she seems perfectly content to keep up the routine of slacking and expects to just get a degree handed to her on a silver platter. I worked extremely hard for everything I have in life, as well as for everything that she has. Her college fund was the result of me squirreling away every dime I could for over 10 years.
She’s currently pissed at me for it, but I will not continue to use this money to literally buy her a degree that she doesn’t deserve. I’ve begrudgingly decided to take a step back and let her handle her education on her own from now on.
58. Entitled Kid Phone Home
I once watched a 13-year-old kid break his iPhone on purpose because he wanted the newer model that had just come out. He had the model from right before it. He had a new phone the next day.
59. Look Out for Each Other
This was the worst first date I ever went on. It was unusual because he picked a very fancy location that was way out of town—like an hour drive. I normally prefer casual dates like walking in the park or coffee, but he insisted we go. I arrived first, and when I sat down I ordered a drink—strawberry lemonade, as I don’t drink alcohol—and was talking to the waitress, saying I was waiting on a date.
She was super nice to me and said, “Oh, I hope it’s fun, good luck!” Once he arrived, suddenly her mood shifted, and she gave him an attitude when he ordered. He was trying to bully me into getting some alcohol, but I was firm and said I would stick to my strawberry lemonade. Throughout the date, he kept trying to order me vodka.
The waitress was being really weird and kept complimenting me, giving me free lemonades, refills every two minutes, and basically giving him dirty looks. She stayed close by always watching. The guy was being a jerk about the situation, and started acting rude, saying, “I hope she’s not gonna charge for those.” He looked incredibly angry and uncomfortable.
I was starting to wonder why this waitress was being so mean, so I went to the bathroom and waited to flag her down. She told me he goes there every other weekend with a new girl, and that the girls would walk out of there acting very drunk, she suspected he roofied them, and wanted to make sure I was okay and kept changing my drinks to make sure I wouldn’t get screwed up.
I did confront him, and demand he empty his pockets, he didn’t have anything, but admitted he gets girls drunk to sleep with him via pressure tactics. I took off right when he said that and the waitress took me to my car, I made sure to give all the cash I had as a tip. I seriously love that waitress, and I’ll never forget her.
60. Batting for the Other Team
There was a chick in my high school who faked a pregnancy, claimed to do drugs in the restroom with her buddies, and then told people that I was the father of her child. I am quite positive that I have never had sex with her, considering that I am gay.
61. Flying Solo
My roommate refused to go with his family for spring break since there wasn’t a flight with first-class seats and only business-class was available. He ended up taking a connecting flight that did have first-class available while the rest of his family just took business-class on the direct flight.
62. But Mama Said
I teach elementary music but I also assist in before school care. There was one boy in third grade that was sitting at a table with several other students. One girl was attempting to engage with the boy and he abruptly stood up, pointed at the girl, and screamed: “YOU ARE THE DEVIL”. Obviously, at this age, there needs to be an intervention, because you can’t talk to others in that fashion or with that language.
We always try and talk through emotions rather than explode. We call the mom and explain the situation. The mom’s first and only response was, “Well, if he called her the devil, she probably is the devil.” Can pretty clearly tell where that behavior comes from.
63. She Won’t Drink to That
I do my student practice at my family’s law firm. A young woman filed for a divorce because her husband drank ONE beer during weekdays after a day of work. The guy wasn’t violent, doing drugs, or anything like that. He was just a normal, polite guy who liked to have a cold one after 10-hour shift. They are a very good couple and argue so rarely that this woman’s friends told her to write down everything he did to upset her and re-read it every day, so she had reasons to stay angry.
My mom (lawyer) set the woman straight. She told her he was just doing what all guys do and to find herself new friends instead of ones ready to sabotage their marriage.
64. Teaching Moment
I had a patient who was a very young child. She came in with an extremely high blood glucose level. Once she was stable, we did some teaching and kept her for a few days for observation. For some mysterious reason, every time I checked her, her levels would be extremely high, although we were appropriately treating her.
Turns out her family would bring her fast food for every meal and hide it in the side table.
65. How Selfish Can Someone Be??
The parent in this case was not me, but my uncle. He is a very kind and hardworking man who did everything for his sons and for all of my other cousins as well. While the younger ones are decent and successful people, the oldest one was always a piece of work. He never finished school or worked in his entire life and, at the same time, belittled my uncle for his work.
He often said things like that he wouldn‘t even leave his bed for the money that my uncle makes. He also said that my uncle is stupid for working for someone else and hadn‘t understood life. They always believed in him. They gave him money so that he could open his own store(s), or bought him expensive cars and stuff so that he would get motivated and do something with his life.
After about 10 years of this pattern, at the age of 28, he ran out of money again and asked my uncle for another gift so that he could start another business. My uncle told him basically that he wanted to see a business plan first and that he would have to wait about three months because they were in the process of renovating their house.
My cousin responded by throwing an absolutely insane temper tantrum and leaving the house for a while. In the meantime, his parents continued with their plans and renovated the main floor’s walls, floors, and bathrooms. They even bought new furniture for my each of my cousins’ rooms. And guys, this is where it gets ugly.
One day, the oldest son came back home while nobody was there and just completely lost it. He called my uncle up on his cell phone and screamed something about how he refused to wait for HIS money while they were out spending it on themselves. And then, he proceeded to smash their newly renovated and beloved house to pieces.
Everything in the house, new and old, was totally ruined. He ripped out the floor and destroyed the bathroom. There was water everywhere and all of the walls were smashed in. He slashed the furniture and destroyed his brothers’ electronics. He must have been really freaking angry. I was utterly speechless when I saw the damage.
They threw him out, took his keys, and haven’t heard from him since—but not before he fought with his father one last time and called his mother an idiot without an opinion of her own. This whole thing just totally broke my uncle’s heart. He isn’t the same man anymore.
66. Extreme Couponing…Taken to the Extreme
When I was working in the retail industry, this one woman once came into my store and had a big bag of coupons by her side. Most of them were unusable because they were either expired or they were duplicates. Nevertheless, she had every intention of being able to use every single one of them. She berated me over the fact that our system was rejecting most of the coupons.
She called me stupid amongst other names and insisted that I just wasn’t doing it right. Then, as a typical entitled person would do, she asked to speak with my manager. My manager came out and asked what the problem was. The women ranted to her about how incompetent I was because I didn’t know how to scan a coupon properly.
My manager looked at the coupons and confirmed that the coupons were indeed the problem, and not me. My manager then told off the customer for being disrespectful towards me and asked the customer to leave the store. I hated working there, but I’m so grateful that I had managers who totally didn’t go by the “customer is always right” rule and weren’t afraid to stand up for their employees when necessary.
That was just one of many such incidents.
67. Missing Information
When I was a host at a restaurant, I sat a couple in their mid-40s at the bar. Their server was my roommate, and she comes up to me, saying how weird they were, same-siding, making out at the table, etc. A few minutes later, an angry-looking man comes storming into the restaurant, and stands at the host stand just looking around.
I asked him if he needs a table, and he gives me a death glare, and then marches over to the couple in the bar and sits down opposite of them, the woman looks horrified. The angry guy is whisper-yelling at the woman, all I could make out was that she was on a date with a man she works with and the angry guy was her husband, who found out through another friend.
Now, I’m just standing at the host stand, five feet away, watching all this go down. I grab another server walking past me and tell them what’s going on. The husband at the bar starts getting louder, so my roommate gets the biggest cook we had, and had him go to the table, and tell them to leave. The woman and husband leave, leaving the other man there just looking confused.
He sits there for a few minutes, just kind of staring down at all the uneaten food, before getting up, and coming to the host stand to ask for his bill. I go get my roommate so she can print the check, when I come back, he pays and just says, “I’m sorry for the disturbance, I didn’t know she was married,” and leaves. I felt so bad for the poor guy.
He seemed very into her up until her husband showed up.
68. Crying Over You
In high school, there was this one girl, a semi-popular cheerleader if I remember correctly, who took pictures of herself crying and posted them on Facebook with captions saying that her grandmother had just died. She had, no joke, an entire album of pictures of herself crying, taken from many different angles. It was really freakin’ weird…
69. Money Can’t Buy Friendship, But It Can Buy a Look the Other Way
The dude who relentlessly bullied me in school was also the son of one of the richest people in the city. One day, a teacher caught him with his hands around my throat, and I was pinned against a wall. We were both taken to the teachers’ meeting room, where it was explained to me that we should try and get along and that we should apologize to each other.
Did I mention his dad also built the flashy new cafeteria for the school that year? He was caught on numerous occasions with me in some state of distress, and every time they found ways to make it both our problem. His dad pumped a lot of money into that school. He also flew his friends on his private airline to Manchester United games so nobody stood up for me because they could lose their privileges.
My saving grace was a lot of his mates in early years of secondary school turned on him in the later years because he was such a jerk.
70. Figure It Out
I’m not a teacher but when I was in high school my form tutor was ranting about one child’s mum. It was the final year and exams where approaching. This one lad would come to school but sleep the entire day and never do any work, like literally none, and would often fall asleep. He was asked why he was so tired and obviously, the kid just replied, “dunno.”
After some digging, they found out his routine was—home from school, two-hour nap, play Call of Duty all through the night and then have a bath before coming to school. His mum was called in and told what was going on and that her son was going to fail everything. Her response was, “Well what do you want me to do about it?” in a tone that suggested, well you’re the teacher so it’s not my problem.
Poor lad slept through the handful of exams he turned up to.
71. You Can’t Wipe Away These Differences
My boss just got divorced. His wife was telling people one of her reasons was the amount of toilet paper he used. She was a super coupon clipper thrifty lady and would listen when he went to the bathroom to see if he was using “too much TP.”
72. Who Needs That Money?
I was doing a respiratory system examination on this guy who frequently (about once a month) gets admitted in the general ward with complaints of breathlessness. He’s had COPD for a couple of years. Quite bad. And he tells me that he isn’t going to quit smoking because God told him not to. When asked why, he tells me that the people who are relying on him for their daily livelihood won’t survive if he stopped.
I went on to ask him if he meant the people at the cigarette factory or the health industry. He didn’t get the sarcasm though.
73. Living for the Present
Our son is 20 years old and refuses to go to college or get a job. He lives with his mom, so all I can do is talk to him about it. I fear for his future because we (his parents) are not immortal and he doesn’t seem to have any self-preservation skills.
74. A Very Picky Eater
I used to work at a fast food place in a theme park when I was only 18 years old. An obnoxious entitled person held up the line because she was demanding that our staff assemble a particular dish for her daughter which we aren’t allowed to do, because we go by a specific menu. That doesn’t seem like a policy that should be at all controversial.
She was saying stuff like, “My daughter can’t have that!” “Well, what can you do for me?” “Do you want her to starve to death?” Those are just a few of the quotes from this woman in response to our refusal to accommodate her ridiculous request—all of which remain among the most irritating lines that I have ever encountered in any walk of life.
75. Have Dinner or Else
I tended bar at a country club. I worked the busy league nights. One night, it was late and there was still a straggler that said his group left him behind and asked me for a ride home. Being young and naive I agreed. The address he gave me directions to was a restaurant—back then I had a Blackberry and cellphone GPS was still a very young technology.
When we arrived, I was irate. He said he wouldn’t give me the address for his home until I had dinner with him. I feigned getting out of my car so he would get out before me, and then sped off, leaving him standing in the parking lot alone. He really thought he could blackmail me into a first date.
76. Loyal Followers
My high school ex posted a picture of a knife next to his wrist on Twitter after I broke up with him for cheating on me and being a pathological liar. He told all of his followers to message me and demand that I talk to him or else he was going to kill himself. I hate that I was young and dumb, but unfortunately his scheme worked and we ended up back together again.
77. Money Can’t Buy Class
Attended an international high school in Ho Chi Minh City, where a lot of new-wave millionaire’s kids live. The school was ridiculous, a third of the kids were expats (perfectly lovely kids), a third were local Vietnamese kids whose parents were working their BUTTS off to send them to a private school, and the other third were these rich kids.
They wouldn’t ever hesitate to show off their mummy and daddy’s wealth. They’d pull up to school in Lamborghinis, Ferraris etc. etc. and if their Rolls Royce didn’t come on time to pick them up after school it would be a straight phone call to their other driver to COME PICK ME UP RIGHT NOW.
They’d be such jerks 24/7 to the non-rich locals (classist kids), and constantly just bringing up the most trivial things and complaining about them. I’m literally not exaggerating here when I say this: e.g., my maid bought me the WRONG LV bag! I TOLD HER it was the TAN BROWN one not the LIGHT BROWN one! Ugh I can’t believe it—now we have to send her on the jet to Shanghai to get it.
They all paid and used family connections to get into Harvard, Stanford, UPenn etc. etc., and even now constantly complain on Facebook and Instagram about how bad their residence hall food was so they just hired some freaking personal chef or something. Mind you, these kids were the DUMBEST bunch I’ve ever seen—one of them literally was clueless about the most basic facts but still got into business management.
Despised the lot of them. Glad I’m in Europe, far away from most of them.
Man, I’m clearly not entirely over it.
78. Stupidly Lazy
I was a French teacher and the kid was in Level 1 French class. Clearly, he put his assignment through google translator or something. I confronted him, he admitted to it, so I gave him an F. His family absolutely lost their minds. They claimed I was calling him stupid. Long story short—the principal let him redo the assignment.
79. Untraditional Gender Roles
My dad hasn’t worked a real job in over 25 years. My mom has been working and providing for us that entire time. Nevertheless, my dad expects to still be fully in charge of everything in our household, including how our money is spent on any purchase more important than groceries—you know, because he still considers grocery shopping his wife’s responsibility.
Talk about entitled…
80. Luck or Skill
I was on a first date, and we were comparing extra-curricular activities. He was in a bowling league and played softball. I was in a darts league and played volleyball. We were talking about darts and whether it was or wasn’t an activity that demanded some sort of skill over luck. I felt a bit insulted by his patronizing attitude, and before our food even came we started to argue across the rather large booth where we sat.
He said, “FINE, since you’re so skilled at darts, see if you can get an ice cube into my mouth from there,” and I said, “FINE, open up!” He opened his mouth, and I totally just launched an ice cube straight into the back of his throat. His eyes bulged and he clamped his mouth shut, grabbed his throat, and fell over in the seat.
This waitress that had been standing nearby, shaking her head at our stupid argument, ran over to help when, he sat up, threw the ice cube onto the table, yelled, “SCREW YOU!” and stomped out. I said that I was really sorry, that I didn’t mean to get it into his throat, blah blah, but he kept on stomping and I never saw him again.
Sometimes it’s better to be lucky than good.
81. The Brave and the Bold
My sister-in-law is a huge attention hog. When her dad was getting remarried, she told everyone at the wedding ceremony that she had cancer, but that she had come to terms with it. Everyone thought she was so brave and praiseworthy. The only problem was that she had never actually had cancer…
82. Call It a Bad Harvest
Group of rich high school kids in Montana out driving around, drinking. Found two combines (large farm tractor thingies, worth about $250,000 each) out in a wheat field. Decided to have a demolition derby. Got caught. In the judge’s chambers with the farmer, who just wanted the damages reimbursed. The high-end family lawyers asked what the heck they were thinking when they did it.
The response: “Well, you can’t put a price on a good time.” Turns out that was the wrong answer…
83. Pushed Over the Edge
I’m definitely not a teacher, but this is relevant, I swear. After I graduated high school, I heard that one of the best teachers I ever had ended up quitting. He was absolutely fantastic and just a very genuine human being. Everyone loved him, even if they hated the class. Well, the class behind me absolutely broke him.
I remember being a senior and watching the man become a hollow shell. At the end of that year, he ended up failing a girl because she never did her work, never tried, just kind of screwed around even with extensions and help, and constantly gave him attitude. When the mom came to talk to him, she went OFF. She accused him of being prejudiced, doing it because he just didn’t like her daughter, blah, blah, blah.
She ended up suing both him AND the school and he quit.
84. A Walk in the Park
One time, I was at the park with my daughter who was three years old at the time. She and a couple of other kids started to play together. Then, she attempted to use the monkey bars, as she’s a very adventurous child. About midway through, she fell down. I didn’t do anything because she’s fallen before and I wanted her to learn to get back up on her own and not to be scared to try again.
Anyway, one of the boys was about to get on the monkey bars too, until I heard a woman run towards him screaming to stop. She picked him up and looked at my daughter. She told my daughter that it wasn’t “smart” of her to go on the monkey bars if she wasn’t fully ready because then others might get that same idea.
That’s when I got up and went to my daughter’s defense. I sternly told the woman not to speak to her that way, and that it was no fault of hers that she wasn’t scared to try something new. The woman took her kid and left the park.
85. Wrecking Someone Else’s Date
I was 18 years old, and my date and I went to a small café. Not the most glamorous date, but he and I had known each other a while, and both agreed we wanted somewhere pretty basic. As we were talking I noticed this older woman across from us giving us nasty looks—if looks could kill I would have died 10 years ago.
She was talking to her husband, who was obviously trying to get her to quiet down—keep in mind, we’re two guys on a date in the conservative South. Now at this point, my date hasn’t noticed her, and I haven’t said anything. I get up to use the restroom, and this lady gets up, grabs my arm, and starts mouthing off about how inappropriate it is to be acting this way with someone of the same sex.
She’s spouting off a bunch of bible-thumping garbage. I look at my date, and he is super bewildered. The husband grabs his wife’s arm and says, “Go get in the car, we’re leaving.” He escorts her out the door. The husband actually came back, and apologized before offering to cover our bill—we declined, but appreciated the gesture.
86. Ghosting Gone Wrong
My fiance has been my best friend since we were kids. Once, in high school, he was dating a girl who decided that, after scaring the hell out of him by trying to cuff him to a bed against his will, she was going to threaten to kill herself if he ever dumped her. About ten years later, I ran into her at a party. She was there with her husband and infant son.
It was typically not the kind of party that one would bring a baby to, but whatever. She then proceeded to tell me about how she and my fiance never technically broke up since, being 15 years old, his answer to “If you dump me, I’ll kill myself” was to just stop talking to her. Because of that, she argued that they were technically still together and that she was therefore “cheating” on him with her husband—making her son a bastard.
It was all his fault, she complained in front of a crowd of stunned and confused people. She was 100% serious, and she also told me to tell him that she wanted an apology for this inconvenience that he caused. The crowd was captivated, and she was loving every second of the attention. It was the craziest thing I’ve ever seen in my life.
87. Where There’s a Will, There’s a Brat
This one guy was 25 years old when I knew him. His father owned oilfields. He had a credit card that he used for anything and everything, which his parents paid the balance on every month. He never even kept track of what was charged on it, just bought whatever caught his fancy. He openly and shamelessly admitted that he had offered his college professor money to give him a passing grade.
One day, he was cranky about something and said, “I wish my parents would just die, so I could have their money. Why should I have to wait?”
88. Placing the Blame Elsewhere
I had this complete nightmare of a student who never did her homework, never studied and did terribly on tests. One day after class, I had a meeting scheduled with her parents to talk about her current F in the class and the possibility of her repeating the course. When the parents got here they proceeded to yell at me and make threats to what they would do if their daughter didn’t pass the class.
They told me I obviously was singling their daughter out and she was doing badly because of me. My god, parents have gotten ridiculous.
89. Bloody Mary
I used to work in retail, so I have come across my fair share of rude and entitled people. They were a huge reason why I went back to school and no longer work as a cashier. Anyway, one day while I was manning the registers with a few other coworkers of mine, I had a massive nosebleed right as I was finishing a transaction.
I grabbed a tissue and quickly excused myself to run to the restroom so that I could try and get it to stop bleeding. This, of course, meant that I couldn’t say goodbye to the customer I had been assisting, or give her the little spiel about how I was oh so grateful for her shopping with us. After about 10 minutes, I was finally able to get my nose back under control and headed back to the registers.
I saw that customer waiting at the side with a scowl on her face. Her arms were crossed over her chest—it was really the whole nine yards. She then proceeded to scold me about how rude I was for not saying goodbye to her and thanking her for shopping with us. After I apologized and explained that I’d had an unexpected nosebleed, she told me that I should have tried holding it in and that the customer always comes first.
My brain was literally melting after hearing that.
90. Nice Car, Awful Guy
My mum went on a date with a guy who picked her up in a fancy car when she was young. She pointed out a cute rabbit eating grass near the side of the road, so he sped up and hit it on purpose trying to impress her. Instead, she cried and made him take her home instantly. She met my dad not long after.
91. A Shot in the Dark
In high school, my buddy was seeing this girl who told everyone that she had recently gotten shot. I asked her to see the bullet wound, and she pulled her shirt down a little so I could see her shoulder. You know what was covering her alleged wound? One single cartoon-themed, self-administered bandaid. Yeah, that seems legit…
92. A Drop in the Ocean
Back in high school we were doing one of those ice breakers where we passed a beach ball around and whoever caught it had to answer the question their thumb landed on. Well, this kid who has proclaimed being rich numerous times before talking about his parents owning a known pizza place and how he drives an expensive sports car caught the ball.
His question was, “If you won a million dollars what would you do with it?” His response was somewhere along the lines of “A million dollars wouldn’t make any difference in my life.”
93. Think Before You Talk
Middle school teacher here. Students had attended a trampoline park as a field trip to award good attendance. While there, one student had stolen a rubber bracelet. Not a big deal but still stole it nonetheless, so the principal contacted the father. The father called back and left a voicemail, basically accusing the principal and the rest of the staff of thievery as well.
He said, “How many pens do you walk out of that school with? How many pens purchased by the school do you walk out with every day? My tax money!” Anyone who is a teacher sees how funny this is because, of course, we’re providing our own pens!
94. Father, How Could You??
I went to a pretty upper class private high school thanks to the fact that my mom worked there. As you might expect, some of my classmates were extremely entitled. During my senior year, I saw a girl go into a full-on screaming, tear-filled public rant directed towards her father in the parking lot after he had surprised her with a brand new, fully-loaded BMW for her birthday.
It turns out she had wanted a Mercedes and straight-up would not accept the gift.
95. How Quickly Everything Can Change
My son is 24 years old and has a full-blown meth addiction that just started within the last six months. He was fired from the job he got at 18 because he was high and manic. Unfortunately, his manager at that job was the one who had introduced him to meth in the first place. Since then, he has dedicated the majority of his time to either finding or using the drug.
He has been arrested three times and spent 30 days in jail, yet he continues to use the substance even though he is on probation. He is angry because we will not allow him to live with us while he is using. He is now homeless. He broke into our house and stole some of his father’s sports memorabilia to support his habit. Some of it is not replaceable and very sentimental to us.
He is a shell of the human being that we knew and loved just six short months ago, both figuratively and literally. He can no longer even hold a normal conversation and is constantly twitching. We have offered to get him help, but he is convinced that the drugs have set him free and that we are all living in some kind of delusional world where we have to work and conform to society.
Dealing with this is killing us. On the other hand, our daughter (23 years old) just graduated college in June with a paralegal degree and has decided to go to law school. Unfortunately, she is afraid to openly celebrate her success because she doesn’t want to make him feel bad or upset him. I don’t know if I can ever forgive him for taking that away from her!
96. Don’t Be Cruel
I worked for IHOP for a very long three months. Most of my experiences were decent. On one occasion, one of my acquaintances came in with a date. We had been friends as kids, and still sometimes chatted amicably. At this time, I had a stutter that would happen if I spoke too quickly, was stressed, or just trying to speak hard words.
I went up to their table, said hi to my friend and her date, and instantly flubbed the greeting with a stutter. Honestly, my stutter has never bothered me, never felt like a bad thing until that moment. Her date looked at me, did that little condescending laugh that we’ve all heard before, and then repeated what I said while mocking my stutter.
I could see my friend physically recoil from him, her face clearing showing a “did you really just act that way?” expression. At the time, I just brushed it off. It bothered me for about two seconds in the moment, but even years later I still haven’t forgotten. Still, I could tell with that one little moment of acting like a jerk, my friend was not going to go on a second date with him.
97. Fishing Expedition
I know someone who often posts pictures of herself on Facebook with captions like “OMG, I’m soooooo uglyyyy!” If that’s not fishing for attention and compliments, I don’t know what is!
98. Sounds Promising…
Both of my kids joined a group of hippies. My daughter regularly conspires behind my back and my son, the little brat, challenges me at every possible opportunity. This will definitely not end well…
99. Woman Down! Woman Down!
On a high school field trip, a girl in my class faked falling unconscious after she was hit by a bottle cap. She even did the whole dramatic “dying swan” thing where she touched her forehead with her wrist, moaned slightly, and slowly lay down on the ground without hurting herself on the cobblestone pavement. It was literally like something out of a movie.
100. Missed Encounters
At a wedding of a college friend of my husband’s, we learned that the bride (his old friend) had been in love with him for over a decade. We learned this from the women at our table at the reception. We introduced ourselves while we waited for the bride and groom to arrive. They were horrified that we were there—and extremely worried. My husband had NO idea that she had feelings for him.
She bee-lined right for our table after the “introducing Mr & Mrs” thing—ignoring her family and leaving her husband standing alone. She clung to my husband and sobbed—lifting her head to glare at me. She had to be pulled off of him. She repaired herself, then followed us as we tried to leave quietly—her parting shot was to stare at my chest and say, “Well I guess I know what I was missing all along!”
Her new husband was in shock and my husband was horrified and embarrassed—he was completely clueless and would never have gone to the wedding if he’d know she was obsessed with him. It was bizarre.
101. Baby’s First Attempted Chemical Lobotomy
So, I’m a therapist and I work with kids. Worst misdiagnosis was a family with a two-week-old who was convinced the baby had 1) anxiety—because he cries, 2) autism—little eye contact, and 3) bipolar disorder—because the baby would seem content then suddenly angry. I spent HOURS explaining child development, what these diagnoses mean, how they would present in kids.
I provided them with books, handouts, etc. They insisted on going to see my co-worker and a psychiatrist as I was surely lying to them. Even after meeting with the other two professionals, they still weren’t convinced. They requested psych meds from the doc.
102. Cheaters Never Prosper
I knew my ex-wife was cheating but didn’t tell her that I knew. Took her out for a dinner date and I casually asked questions about who she had been spending time with while I was at sea, she barely worked so she had to spend her time doing something. She failed to mention the guy that had been staying at my house for nearly two months, the guy she had to call the cops on just to get to leave because I was coming home in two days…soooo I slid her a copy of the police report that was filed for the incident and watched as she crumbled over the fact she had been caught, and I didn’t have to say a word.
103. So Much for the Language of Love
Friend of mine divorced his then-wife because she would only speak French when her family would come over. She was Spanish, as was her family. To add, her family spoke English, French, and Spanish; he could only speak Spanish and English. She got bored of being married to him, her family basically talked smack about him while he was there, was only when he recorded a conversation while they were there and got it translated he found out what was going on.
104. Irresponsible Faculty Meeting
One of my favorite moments: I walk into the school office to check my mailbox. A parent of one of my students sees me and says very loudly, almost screaming, “Oh, FINALLY!!!! LOOK, EVERYONE, I FOUND A TEACHER!!! Do you realize that I left work EARLY to come here after school to talk to my son’s teachers about his report card, and you are LITERALLY the ONLY teacher I have found?!!! I went from classroom to classroom and everyone is GONE!!! Do you know what time it is?!! It’s 3:45 pm! School ended FIFTEEN MINUTES AGO!!! FIFTEEN MINUTES!!!! And you’re the ONLY teacher STILL HERE!!!! CAN YOU EXPLAIN TO ME WHY EVERYONE IS GONE?! CAN YOU EXPLAIN TO ME WHY EVERY TEACHER HAS LEFT THE BUILDING WHEN SCHOOL JUST GOT OUT?!!!!”
I paused, waiting to see if there was more. When I realized he had finished, I said, “All the teachers are in the library. We’re having a faculty meeting.” The look on his face was priceless. He knew he was in the wrong, but by that point, he had committed so fiercely to his anger and righteousness that he couldn’t just apologize.
So he said, “Well that’s just irresponsible.” And he walked out of the office.