Doctor’s offices are a perfect storm of awkwardness. They're a place where every single one of us needs to go, yet they are also a place where all the boundaries of normal life disappear. Not to mention, our physical vulnerabilities are on full display for someone we hardly know to inspect and analyze. Under those circumstances, is it any wonder that doctor’s offices are the source of tons of awkward and embarrassing moments for so many people? Here are 50 unforgettable stories of extremely awkward doctor’s office moments.
1. A Minor Miscommunication
When I was about eight or nine, I needed a routine physical to play sports at school. My dad took me to the doctor, and everything was going fine until the doctor told my dad they needed a urine sample. My dad handed me the cup and told me to go to the bathroom, do my business in the cup, and bring it back.
I was pretty naive and honestly didn’t know what “urine” meant, so I went into the bathroom and, without thinking twice, I pooped in the cup.
My dad was waiting for me near the front desk since we were supposed to leave after I turned it in. I walked up proudly, handed him the cup, and said, “Is this enough, or should I go back and scoop up some more from the toilet?”
The nurse at the desk looked up and almost spit her coffee out when she saw what I’d done. My dad, sounding very serious, quickly set the cup on the desk and said, “We’re leaving right now.” I didn’t understand what the problem was until later that night, when my mom came into my room and explained my mistake.
2. A Case of Mistaken Identity
When I was about 12, I had to go to the hospital to get my appendix removed. It was the first surgery I’d ever had, and I was really nervous. The doctor told me to let him or a nurse know when I passed gas, because it would mean my bowels were starting to wake up after the anesthesia.
That night, I woke up pretty late and, sure enough, I passed gas. I saw a guy in white walking by, so I called him over and said, “Excuse me, I just passed gas.”
He looked totally confused and said, “Okay… you should probably tell a nurse.” Then he went right back to mopping the floor. Yep—that’s right. I announced it to the janitor for no reason.
3. Taking a Morning Flight
I once had to go to the doctor for a routine smear test when I was a student. I hadn’t slept the night before because I’d been out partying, and I was still pretty out of it when my morning appointment came around. The doctor was a man and hadn’t done a smear test before, and for some reason a nurse was asked to come in and observe the procedure.
As you’d expect, the doctor had trouble finding my cervix, and the nurse told me to tilt my hips up. The doctor was getting more and more nervous—and then I somehow managed to make it even worse.
Trying to lighten the mood, I started singing the old Rawhide theme: “Rolling, rolling, rolling, keep those doggies movin’, Rawhide!” It sounds ridiculous, but at the time it seemed like it made sense in my head.
Then I started laughing uncontrollably at my own joke. That made the doctor’s speculum suddenly slip out and basically launch toward him. It hit him right in the face and knocked his glasses off. I was completely shocked and embarrassed and had no idea how to react. The lab results eventually came back inconclusive.
4. When One Door Opens, Another One Closes
This happened to my friend’s mom. She was trying a new OB/GYN. After the exam, they handed her a cup and told her to give a urine sample. When she got to the bathroom, she was stunned to see there was no door. She figured this laid-back new office just didn’t have bathroom doors, and that patients were expected to do their business out in the open.
So, feeling really nervous, she went ahead and provided the sample while people walked past in the hallway. I’m sure they either tried not to look or gave her a few odd glances.
But as she was leaving, she finally noticed the sliding door was there the whole time—just pulled all the way back. Honestly, that’s one of the most awkward things I’ve ever heard in my life.
5. A Tasty Treat
I recently had a sore throat, and when I tried to get a good look at it in the mirror, I noticed these big pink spots all over the very back of my tongue. I spent a week worrying about it, wondering what they were and why they weren’t going away. Eventually, my mom and I got concerned enough that she came with me to see my doctor.
After checking my throat and tongue, my doctor told me that what I was seeing was…my taste buds. I’ve never seen my doctor—who’s usually a very serious, straight-faced guy—smile that widely before.
He clearly thought the whole situation was pretty funny. I was completely embarrassed. My family is never going to let me forget this one.
6. Timber!
I’m the kind of person who can fall asleep almost anywhere. One time, I started nodding off while I was waiting for my doctor to come in and see me. The thing is, I was sitting upright on the edge of the exam bed instead of lying down.
So, right as the doctor walked into the room, my body tipped forward as I relaxed. I woke up just in time to nearly faceplant right at the doctor’s feet.
7. This One Holds Some Weight
The last time I was at my doctor’s office, they left me waiting in the exam room for a really long time. Long enough to flip through all three magazines in there. Eventually, I got so bored that I started looking for anything to do to pass the time. There was a scale in the corner, so I thought, “Why not? Let’s weigh some stuff!”
I started with my shoes, then moved on to the magazines and a few of my clothes. When I ran out of my own things, I looked around the room and decided I really wanted to know how much a chair weighed. So I picked up the doctor’s big chair and set it on the scale to find out.
That was the exact moment the doctor and her resident walked in. There I was, in nothing but a hospital gown and socks, trying to balance a chair on a scale for no obvious reason…
At least I got my answer!
8. Shock and Awe
I went to the hospital when I was a teenager, and my doctor was a pretty young woman. She needed to check me for testicular cancer. The room was separated by curtains, and my parents were waiting right on the other side, close enough to hear everything. The doctor was looking away when I pulled my pants down, and when she turned back and saw me without them, she said, “Oh my gosh,” in an annoyed tone.
I thought I’d done something wrong, so I apologized. But it turned out pulling my pants down wasn’t what bothered her—her beeper had just gone off.
She must have been having an extremely busy day. The moment doesn’t sound that embarrassing on its own, until you remember that my parents could hear the whole exchange but couldn’t see what was happening.
I don’t even want to think about what they assumed had just made a teenage boy apologize to an attractive doctor while she was examining him…
9. But Tell Us What You Really Think!
A friend of mine was in medical school. As part of his training, he was working at a local clinic one day. While he was there, he went in to see a patient who needed a breast exam. Now, keep in mind she was middle-aged but very attractive.
While doing the exam, he accidentally blurted out, “Hmmm, yes, very excellent… uh, I mean normal! Very normal.” He turned bright red and stayed embarrassed for the rest of the day.
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10. Blowin’ in the Wind
When I was giving birth to my second child, I was determined not to have a bowel movement. I even used an enema to try to keep that from happening. It definitely did its job and cleaned me out, but it also gave me the worst gas I’ve ever had. I had an epidural, so I couldn’t really feel much. By the time I was ready to push, I figured the gas was long gone.
I told the doctor I was ready, and he got right down there in the “danger zone.” He watched my contractions and told me when it was time for a big push.
I pushed with everything I had—and accidentally let out the biggest, longest fart I’ve ever heard, right in his face. I swear I saw his hair move. And the fact that he was young and good-looking didn’t make it any less embarrassing…
11. Worse Than a Toothache
When I was training to become a dentist, I spent a couple of weekends shadowing a doctor in the Emergency Room as part of my general medicine requirements. Late one Saturday, a young woman—about 18, I think—came in with her parents because she was having really severe stomach pain.
The doctor asked a few questions, then told her to take off her pants and lie on her side. He put on a glove and did a rectal exam.
I’d seen it before and knew it was a standard part of the workup, but I still felt pretty awkward standing there, especially since she was close to my age.
Then it somehow got even more uncomfortable. While the exam was happening, her father turned to me and asked how many years I had left until I became a doctor. I said, “Well, um… I’m actually studying to be a dentist.”
He gave me the most awkward look I’ve ever gotten, like he couldn’t understand why I was there at all. It definitely made me feel like I was in the wrong place at the wrong time.
12. The Butt of the Joke
When I was pretty young, maybe 12 or 13, I started having some weird stomach problems. They saw something unusual on an X-ray and said they wanted to do a pretty intense procedure to take a closer look. So I’m in this room, and they explain that they’re going to insert a tube and fill my intestines with a milky liquid.
I must’ve looked terrified, because the doctor asked what was wrong. Trying to sound more grown-up, I told him it sounded like it might hurt, but that I was also really ticklish. I figured that was a good way to avoid admitting I was just embarrassed. He told me not to worry, and that it wasn’t as bad as it sounded.
Then a female doctor starts inserting the tube, and 13-year-old me starts doing this awkward, fake giggle. Which turns into real laughing. And then crying.
13. The Windy City
One time, I was at the doctor’s office getting a lump in my private area checked out. I explained it to the doctor, and he started trying to find it himself. I was lying down, staring at the ceiling while he felt around, trying to locate it. After about a minute of searching, he finally gave up and asked me to point it out.
So I sat up and started feeling around to find it with my own hands. I was hunched over, and he was less than a foot away, watching closely, when a gust of wind suddenly blew the door wide open.
At that exact moment, a nurse walked by and got a full view of what was going on. We made eye contact, and it was incredibly awkward.
14. The Real Accident
I made the mistake of moving over the holidays last year. I was clearing out my bedside dresser—clothes and whatever else was in there. In the top drawer, I had two big open boxes of condoms. I grabbed a bunch and stuffed them into my pockets before heading out. And, of course, on the way to the new house, I got into a major car accident.
After a short ambulance ride, I ended up in a private ER room with just a nurse, my girlfriend, and me. My girlfriend had to take off my pants—but first she had to empty my pockets. So there she is, shooting me a look while she pulls more than thirty condoms out of my pocket right in front of the nurse. I swear it looked like a magic trick. They just kept coming…
15. I Have an Announcement to Make
One time, I was at the doctor’s office for a checkup. I went to the bathroom, peed in the cup, set it on the little counter they had, went back into the exam room, and waited forever. The doctor finally came in like thirty minutes later and said, “You have protein in your urine.” I immediately blurted out, “Probably because I slept with someone last night!”
She looked totally confused, and I wasn’t even sure why I’d said it. After this awkward pause, she went, “I’ll note that in your chart. Congratulations!” She was clearly trying not to laugh. I felt like a complete idiot. But in that moment, I genuinely thought that might somehow affect the results of the urine test.
16. Breach of Contraction
With our second child on the way, my wife woke up one morning having contractions. It just so happened that she already had a doctor’s appointment scheduled that day to check her progress, so we kept it. We met the female doctor at the clinic, which was across the parking lot from the hospital.
I’m in the exam room while the doctor is examining my wife, who’s up in the stirrups. The doctor says, “Oh yeah, you’re pretty dilated and effaced. Today is definitely the day.” I’m sitting nearby and politely looking away when she adds, “Your water bag is bulging, too. I bet I could—uh oh!” My wife immediately starts laughing nervously.
I glance up and see the doctor with two fingers still inside my very pregnant wife, trying hard to keep the just-broken water from spilling all over the exam room. She reaches for a bottom drawer, and some amniotic fluid sprays out in a few unexpected directions.
The doctor tells me to grab some absorbent pads from the drawer and throw them down as fast as I can before she pulls her fingers out and quickly steps back.
17. It’s Not Where You’re Going, It’s How You Get There
I have a really poor sense of direction. One time at the hospital, I went to the bathroom to give a urine sample and quickly realized I couldn’t remember how to get back to my doctor’s room. I’m not sure how many waiting areas and busy hallways I awkwardly wandered through, the whole time holding a cardboard cup with my urine.
18. Getting Physical
So I needed to get a physical. Honestly, this is probably one of the most awkward parts of any freshman’s first high school experience. I walked into the office and did all the usual stuff—filled out forms, peed in a cup, got weighed, had my height taken, all of that. Then the doctor came in to check for a hernia. So far, totally normal.
I pulled my pants down and the doctor did the exam. Then he looked up at me and said, “You know, you’re really well-endowed. I don’t think I’ve seen anyone like that in a long time.”
He kept making casual small talk about it for the rest of the checkup. After that, almost nothing in my life feels awkward, because that moment still tops everything.
19. Command Performance
I had a pilonidal cyst that needed to be lanced and drained, because it had gotten so sensitive I couldn’t sit down or even wear pants comfortably. When I got to the doctor, he was surprised by how big it had become. He wanted to bring in some nurses, students, and a few other people who were interested to show them a “prime example of this kind of cyst.”
Two minutes later, I’m bent over the exam table with my pants around my ankles, and there are about seven to ten people gasping and quietly talking about an egg-sized cyst right above my butt.
I honestly found the whole thing kind of funny. If I hadn’t, it probably would’ve been really embarrassing.
20. Lost and Found
I once went to the gynecologist’s office to get this unpleasant smell checked out. While they were examining me, they figured out what was causing it—and it was worse than I ever expected. They found a feminine hygiene product still inside my body from the month before.
I had also agreed to let a medical student observe. The whole experience was really embarrassing, even though I’m not usually a shy person.
21. Ain't That a Kick in the Head
The most awkward and embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to me at a doctor’s office occurred during my annual checkup one year. Like at most checkups, my doctor tapped my knee to test my reflexes. When she did, I accidentally kicked her right in the face. I felt awful for her, but I also had a hard time holding back laughter…
22. Right Place, Wrong Time
My poor OB/GYN. He’s a younger, really great male doctor and, because of that, he’s always calm and reassuring with his patients, making sure to explain everything anytime he’s in the room. It’s honestly kind of sweet. I had completely forgotten I had my annual exam with him, and I’d had some pretty intense bedroom time a day or two before.
I got into the room and the nurse told me to undress and put on the paper gown like usual. While I was changing, I looked down and suddenly remembered my breasts were bruised, and that the appointment includes a breast exam. The look of alarm on the doctor’s face when he pulled back my gown is still one of the most unforgettable things I’ve ever seen.
In this really concerned voice, he asked if the exam was going to hurt, and I had to work hard not to laugh when I answered. He did a super quick, very gentle breast exam, then got briefly fixated on one bite mark he noticed. He started to say something about it, then immediately covered me back up and moved on with the rest of the exam.
Canva
23. Placing the Blame
This wasn’t embarrassing for me, but it was really embarrassing for my dad. When I was a little kid, around six or seven, I bruised super easily. So one day my dad took me to the doctor, and I had to take my shirt off.
My chest and arms were covered in bruises from top to bottom because I’d been play-fighting with my brother the day before. Still, the doctor gave my dad the harshest look I’ve ever seen.
24. Too Soon
This happened to my dad. He actually told this story again yesterday. He was going in for a vasectomy after I was conceived—guess I just made the cut! They gave him the numbing medicine, but the doctor didn’t wait long enough for it to fully kick in.
When he did the first pinch and snip, the pain was so intense that my dad got sick and threw up right on the nurse in the room.
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25. Deja Vu
While I was in labor with my first child, they noticed her heartbeat was starting to drop. The doctors told me I needed to try lying in different positions because the cord might be around her neck, and we had to relieve the pressure quickly. They turned me onto my left side, then my right.
When nothing helped, they had me get up on my hands and knees on the table. And there I was—very medicated and not fully with it—announcing, with total confidence, that this was the same position my child was conceived in. In the middle of the emergency, the whole room went quiet for a beat, trying to process what I’d just said…
26. Motherly Instinct
So, I’m at the doctor having a private exam done by my doctor, who’s in her late 40s. She’s making small talk and eventually asks where I go to school. I tell her the name of my high school, and she goes, “Oh, my son goes there!” That’s when I notice she has the same last name as one of my best friends.
Then I remember my friend’s mom is a doctor. And it suddenly hits me: my friend’s mom is the one doing my exam. It was super awkward in the moment, but it was honestly pretty funny the next day at school. I couldn’t wait to tell my friend, “So I met your mom yesterday. She said I’m very healthy… down there.”
27. What a Way to End Their Day
This happened at the pharmacy at my doctor’s office. I’d just had a wisdom tooth pulled, and it was a tough one. I got it out that morning and felt pretty normal for most of the day—no nausea or anything. But by the next day, I was sicker than I’d ever been. Everything set me off, even walking more than a few feet.
The dentist hadn’t thought to prescribe antibiotics or anything, so I called to tell him how bad it had gotten. He said he’d call something in and that I could pick it up at the hospital pharmacy down the street. The only issue was they were closing in ten minutes.
I rushed over and somehow made it with two minutes to spare. I felt relieved—but I had no idea what was about to happen. While they were getting my prescription ready, that wave of nausea hit. I ended up throwing up three times on the counter right before they closed.
The women were stunned, and I kept apologizing, but I honestly couldn’t stop. I left with my prescription feeling ashamed and embarrassed, and also awful that they had to clean it up before they could go home.
28. A Private Concert
While I was living on my college campus, I got a kidney infection and ended up going to the ER around five in the morning. They gave me some strong pain medication to help me settle down, and for some reason I started singing “Bohemian Rhapsody” really loudly, with other students all around.
The nurses had to ask me to keep it down about five times until the meds finally wore off…
29. You Passed the Real Test
One time, I was at the OB/GYN for my yearly appointment. The nurse came in to ask the pre-exam questions. While she was flipping through my chart, she said, “It looks like you’re pregnant,” and my face immediately dropped. She goes, “You didn’t know?” and I said, “Um, no!” Then she asked for my name again and said, “Oh, whoops! I grabbed the wrong Erin’s chart!”
30. You Snooze, You Lose a Doctor
One time, I was three minutes late for a doctor’s appointment. My mom works for an orthodontist, so I understand how important it is to be on time. But on the way to the doctor, I had to pull over twice to throw up because of the very issue I was going in to get treated, and that whole situation slowed me down.
When I arrived, I went to check in, and I already knew I might have to wait longer. I wasn’t expecting them to drop everything and see me immediately. But as soon as the receptionist saw me walk in, she loudly said, “You’re late. The doctor will not be seeing you today,” right in front of about ten other patients in the waiting room.
At that point, everyone was staring at me. I blinked back tears, walked up to the counter, and tried to explain. I even offered to sit and wait as long as needed, but she wouldn’t budge.
So I got back in my car, drove to a walk-in clinic, and I’ve never gone back to that office since. It’s a shame, too—the doctor was really kind, but the person at the front desk made sure I’d never return.
Wikimedia Commons
31. Cleanup on Aisle One
A few weeks after my vasectomy, I had to bring in a sample to confirm everything was clear. Turns out I hadn’t screwed the lid on the container tight enough, and when I set it down on the receptionist’s desk, it leaked everywhere and made a huge, gross mess. I still get flashbacks to the look of alarm on her face.
32. Performing for an Audience
A while back, when I was in high school, I had to get surgery in a pretty sensitive area. I had this condition with a fancy scientific name that basically meant a bunch of veins down there were messing with the flow of my swimmers. So of course, I had to go in for a pre-checkup with the doctor. I also didn’t have a driver’s license yet, so my dad drove me.
I met the doctor, and he got straight to the point. He pulled out this big ring with wooden balls in different sizes and said the area would need to be measured to check for any difference and see how serious things were. Then he looks over at my dad and says, “If you want to step out for this part, you can.”
My dad goes, “Haha, no thanks. I’m fine right here.” Yep—my dad decided to make the whole appointment even more awkward by staying to watch.
So a minute later, there I was, fully exposed, while the doctor is down at eye level using this wooden measuring thing to compare sizes. The entire time my dad is watching and laughing. And I’m just standing there wishing I could disappear.
33. Time Is Never on Your Side
I went to the doctor once when I was about eight months pregnant. At that point, I was ridiculously gassy all the time. If I tried to hold it in, it would start to hurt after a while. While I was sitting in the doctor’s office, I felt like I needed to pass gas. I held it for a bit, assuming the doctor would walk in any second.
Fifteen minutes went by and still nothing. So I finally decided to just let it out. It was the tiniest little one, and it barely even made a sound—I had no idea I’d just made a terrible mistake. The smell filled the room like something had crawled up my backside and died.
And of course, about 30 seconds later, the doctor finally walked in. The first thing he said was to ask what that smell was…
34. In the Hall of the Hospital King
A few years ago, I had a cancer scare. The doctor was fairly sure it was nothing serious, but I still had to get an ultrasound of a very private area at the hospital just to be certain. I’m lying there with basically my whole body exposed while a nurse uses the ultrasound wand to check everything. Somehow, the situation just felt way too perfect for something embarrassing to happen.
Twice during the procedure, another nurse opened the door to ask random questions of the tech doing my ultrasound. But that wasn’t even the worst part… both times, she left the door wide open, giving people in the hallway a clear view of me lying there naked.
She wasn’t asking anything about my exam, either—she was just popping in to ask pointless questions about their work schedule.
Needless to say, I was embarrassed and completely shocked. When I heard the door open a third time, I told them that if it happened one more time while my exam was going on, I’d be reporting both of them to the hospital administrators. After that, the nurse didn’t come back again.
35. Picture Perfect
I was in pre-op for ankle reconstruction. We had some time to kill, and my girlfriend was sitting by my bedside. We started chatting with a nurse, and my girlfriend was showing her some recent vacation photos on her phone. While she was scrolling, she accidentally swiped one picture too far, and there it was for everyone to see—a photo of my face between her legs.
The nurse immediately stood up and walked away without saying a word. My girlfriend just froze in embarrassment. I couldn’t stop laughing.
36. I Scratch Your Itch, You Scratch Mine
I was about 11 or 12 when this happened. There were a hundred acres of woods behind my house, and I loved playing back there. The problem is, I’m really allergic to poison ivy. So I go wandering around the forest happily for a few hours—nothing unusual. Eventually I come home, go to bed, and then wake up in the middle of the night with an itchy leg.
And when I say itchy, I mean *really* itchy. After scratching for a while, I finally pull the blankets down. I do a double-take and go, “What the heck???” My leg looked like something out of a nightmare—huge raised red patches, raw and oozing in places. Needless to say, I started screaming.
Things moved fast after that. My mom decided we were going to the Emergency Room. After waiting a bit, they brought me into a room right off the waiting area. A nurse took one look and came back with a needle that looked absolutely massive. The “good” news: it was going in my backside. Now, I did *not* want that needle in my backside. I didn’t care what angle, which side, or how long it took—I just didn’t want it.
But fine, I told myself I’d be brave. I dropped my pants and tried to prepare for the inevitable. The second she leaned in to give the shot, I panicked and every bit of courage I’d built up disappeared. I bolted for the door and ran straight into the crowded ER waiting room.
So there I was: two nurses (one holding the needle), my mom, and all of them chasing me like I was trying to dodge a tackle—in front of everyone. Meanwhile, my poor pants were still back on the floor in the exam room. And yes, my bare backside was out for the whole waiting room to see. I managed to keep going for a couple minutes, but eventually they caught me, pinned me down, and gave me the shot while I yelled and cried in full view of the crowd.
On the bright side, the itching went away!
37. Her Personal Fanfare
When I was in my late teens, I went to a doctor for a checkup. I’d never seen this doctor before, but I was sure she was going to be great because her name was Dr. Friend! She was an older woman and very nice, but halfway through the visit she started passing gas loudly and repeatedly. I had no idea what to do or how to react.
It was funny, gross, and ridiculously loud. She left the room several times, and the only time it would stop was for the tiny split second between her steps. Even when she came back in, the sound just kept going like nothing was happening. It was easily the most awkward appointment ever. I never went back to that doctor.
38. Telephone Tag
A friend of mine accidentally dialed her gynecologist’s office instead of her dentist’s when she was trying to schedule an appointment. She kicked off the call casually saying she was long overdue for a cleaning. The puzzled silence on the other end was only topped by her own embarrassment once she realized what number she’d called…
39. Breaking the Ice
While the doctor was shaving the area just before doing my vasectomy, we suddenly realized we’d grown up together and now lived in the same neighborhood. It was awkward, but I couldn’t resist joking, “So, when we were kids, did you ever imagine you’d be getting paid to shave me for a living?”
He didn’t seem to think it was as funny as I did…
40. Blood Bath
Once at a doctor’s office, a nurse removed the needle from my arm after taking blood. As she did, I accidentally tensed my arm. That made a stream of blood shoot more than five feet across the room and splatter onto some posters. It’s safe to say this was easily my most embarrassing moment at a doctor’s office.
41. I Hear You Loud and Clear
I wear small over-the-ear hearing aids in both ears. One time, I had to go in for new fittings in a city more than three hours from where I live. The reason was that the left one would always hurt when I put it in. I made the trip, got the new fittings, and everything seemed fine. No issues, and I went on with my life.
About three months later, I went to my primary care doctor for a physical before starting a new scuba diving class. He asked if I’d ever had tubes in my ears. I said I used to, but not anymore. Then he mentioned he could see a little rubbery-looking thing inside my ear and wanted to figure out what it was. Next thing I know, he grabs mosquito forceps, carefully pokes around for five minutes, and pulls out one of the old fittings!
I had no idea there was a second one in there. Turns out, that was what had been causing the discomfort the whole time. I was pretty embarrassed sitting there having to admit I didn’t realize I’d had a small piece of plastic in my ear for months.
After he removed it, I went back to using my hearing aids like normal—and I noticed a whole new level of clarity once that piece was out.
42. Waterfall
Once, my dad went in to have his prostate checked by a very attractive female urologist. She needed to insert a catheter because he was having trouble urinating. After the exam, she removed the catheter, and my dad accidentally started peeing all over the doctor’s leg.
She handled it like a pro and joked, “If I don’t get peed on at least once a day, my husband will think I’m skipping work to have an affair!”
43. There’s a First Time for Everything
Getting my very first pelvic exam was the most awkward experience I’ve ever had at a doctor’s office. The doctor was new, and she seemed extremely nervous. Because of that, she dropped the first speculum while trying to get it out of the package—hands shaking and everything.
Umm, okay? That definitely didn’t help me relax… and it was about to get even more uncomfortable.
A few minutes later, I’m on the table with the speculum inserted, and the doctor and nurse are working down there. I’m trying to mentally check out when the doctor suddenly asks, “Are you on your period right now?” I said, “No. Why?” She goes, “Ooooh…” Turns out, with all her nervousness, she’d been way too rough and made me bleed. Not exactly reassuring, Doc!
44. Lightweight Champion
When I was around 12, my doctor knew I really hated needles. So he tucked the shot I needed into his pocket with his pens so I wouldn’t see it and tense up. While he was talking, he suddenly pulled it out and moved toward me. I panicked and hit him right in the face, breaking his glasses.
It wasn’t on purpose, exactly. Someone was coming at me with something sharp, and I didn’t even have a second to understand what was happening. It was pure instinct. He grabbed me by the shoulders, held me still, and gave me the injection anyway. I can only imagine what he was thinking. For years after that, I couldn’t stand to see him.
45. Popping the Question
When I started waking up from anesthesia after getting my wisdom teeth removed, and before my ride home showed up, I apparently felt well enough to pull out my IV and a few sensor things and wander into the waiting area. I started asking random people if they’d sleep with me.
The nurse quickly brought me back to my room, and I remember grumbling that someone might’ve said yes, and I deserved the right to find out.
46. Out to Lunch
I once had a pizza delivery guy walk in on me while I was in the middle of a pelvic exam at the OB/GYN. My feet were up in the stirrups, and my doctor was doing the exam—yeah, the whole thing. Apparently, the nurses had ordered a pizza and told the guy to take it to the break room, but he accidentally opened the wrong door.
You’d think that if you know you’re at an OB/GYN’s office, you’d have the common sense to at least knock before walking into any closed room, right? Nope. It happened so fast that he probably didn’t even really see anything. I’m also pretty sure he was more mortified than I was.
Still, I have to admit, the whole situation sounds a lot like the setup to a cheesy late-night movie.
47. Leaving the Doctor in Stitches
Thankfully, this was only a little insulting, not totally awful. When I was about 18, I went to the doctor because I was dealing with really intense nausea, along with a few other symptoms. He kept asking me—again and again—if there was any chance I could be pregnant. Like, “So, um, is it possible you’re pregnant? Maybe we should do a pregnancy test.”
“I’m pretty sure I’m not,” I said. Then he asked, “When was the last time you had intercourse?” I answered, “Uh… never?” He started laughing and blurted out, “NEVER?!” Then he whipped his head around from behind his clipboard and looked right at me. “Oh, wow—okay. I had no idea. That makes things a lot simpler!”
Was all that really necessary??
48. Doing Things the Old Fashioned Way
I was at the doctor’s office for a physical before my freshman year of college. The doctor was this very confident, kind of intimidating woman, and it was time for the hernia check. My whole life, that part of the exam always involved the doctor holding my private area and asking me to cough. But apparently these days they only need to feel just above it, not the area itself.
I didn’t know that at the time—and it led to one of the most embarrassing moments of my life. I’m sitting on the exam table, and the doctor tells me to unbutton my pants for the hernia exam. I had no idea she didn’t actually need me to pull them down.
Then she turned away to grab a glove. While her back was turned, I pulled my pants down to my knees. She comes back with a completely neutral expression and calmly places her hand on my lower stomach and asks me to cough.
She checked both sides twice. The whole time, I was exposed for absolutely no reason. She never said anything about it or even acknowledged it. Honestly, I think I got lucky with that particular doctor on that particular day. If someone more reactive had been examining me, I probably never would’ve gotten over the embarrassment.
uhhh… yep.
49. Well, I Guess That’s One Way to Travel...
First physical of my life. I drop my pants, and the doctor says, “Turn your head and cough.” For some weird reason I still can’t fully understand, I thought he said, “Turn your head and crawl.” I can’t explain how confused and awkward it got when I casually started crawling around on the floor of his office…
50. A Crazy Story
When I was seven, my doctor told me to pull down my pants. It was just the usual hernia check, but back then I had no idea what that even meant. Not knowing any better, I bolted out of the exam room and shouted to my mom that the doctor was nuts and wanted to look at my private area.
I still clearly remember yelling, “Mom, grab your coat! This guy is crazy!”
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