Everyone has overheard something they shouldn’t have at some point in their lives, whether it be an awkward conversation between strangers, uncalled-for remarks blurted out by friends, or shocking revelations made by family members. Sometimes it can be funny, while other times it can be frightening or even emotionally scarring. These unfortunate eavesdroppers share the most messed-up thing they’ve overheard while just trying to mind their own business.
1. The Scar
My daughter was talking to a kid at the playground. She was showing him a scar she had on her leg from a bike wreck. He showed her a scar on his arm and his next words caught me totally off guard: "I got cut and had to get stitches. It’s why I can’t see my mom anymore". He was maybe five.
2. Ouch
On my last family vacation, I overheard my father talking to my cousin who was the same age as me (18, just fresh out of school). The conversation broke my heart. My father basically said that my life is completely pointless because my older brother has already achieved all the goals a son should. He basically said there was no point in my existence.
3. Holding A Grudge
I waited tables at a fancy steakhouse in Texas. Toward the end of the night, a family of four came in with two young kids; a boy and a girl. They were dressed in black formal wear, looking somber. I greeted them and asked them how they were doing. The mother told me that they were not doing very well because they just came from a funeral.
I replied, "Oh, I'm so sorry," then Dad chimed in, pointed to his young son, and he uttered the most baffling explanation: "Yeah, his bird passed on and this is his favorite restaurant".
Two things came to mind: 1) knowing that they just came from a bird funeral was hilarious, and 2) they must be absolutely loaded. This was the kind of place where people would come once a year for birthdays and such, and these folks just waltzed in after a bird funeral.
For the rest of their dinner, I overheard them discussing various topics. At one point, the little boy shouted, "I'm never going back to Mexico after what happened in 1836!" What happened in 1836, you ask? The Battle of the Alamo. This six-year-old was holding a grudge against Mexico because of the Alamo.
Weirdest table I ever had.
4. Not Bringing Sexy Back
I was standing behind a couple arguing loudly. The man screamed, "WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?! I THOUGHT YOU WERE IN DANGER! I ALMOST CALLED THE EMERGENCY LINE!"
To which the lady screamed back a response that had me in tears: "I’M SO SORRY FOR WANTING TO SEND YOU SOMETHING SEXY! THAT WON'T HAPPEN AGAIN"!
My friend and I had to contain our laughter.
5. He Left The Seat Up Again
I was walking through a mall when I overheard a woman talking to her husband. Her words were mind-boggling: "What you’ve done is worse than mass murder". I’ve thought about this for a long time.
6. The Diner
Strap yourselves in for storytime.
I work at a thoroughly unpleasant diner chain in a low-income town for a long time and I've overheard some really nasty stuff. This one time, for example, a customer started seizing really badly. We had to call an ambulance and, as the paramedics did their thing, one of my tables decided to start mocking the individual who was quite literally dying on the floor.
But that incident doesn't even come close to this one.
One time, I had a young couple in my section. I was wolfing down some coffee so I missed them being seated, but when I noticed them sometime afterward, I went over to say hi and get their drink orders. Immediately, it was obvious something was wrong. The guy had this...vibe to him. You know when you meet somebody and you can just tell they're the kind of person to kick someone when they're down or the kind of person who'd bite the hand that feeds them, the slimy kind of troglodyte who'd play the accordion or some other disturbing thing? He was giving off that kind of vibe. Slimy, unpleasant. She, on the other hand, seemed sweet.
They ordered their drinks and as I was pouring them, a coworker came up and said, "Dude, you gotta watch that table, that guy is weird". I asked why, and he said, "I was walking past when the guy grabbed my arm and just said, 'never cheat, man, never cheat'". Huh.
I took the drinks out and the guy grabbed me by the arm and told me, similarly, "Never cheat, man, you don't ever want to cheat". His girlfriend looked embarrassed. I laughed nervously and said something along the lines of "I love my wife enough to not have to". Then they ordered some food.
Every single time I approached the table, he told me the same thing. "Don't cheat man, don't cheat". "Don't be dumb, man, never cheat on your girl". "You don't wanna play, man, don't cheat". Her face was looking worse and worse and it became apparent, very quickly, that he had taken his girlfriend out to tell her he was cheating on her.
Eventually, he paid ("Here man, just promise me you're never gonna cheat, don't throw stuff like that away man, don't cheat") and then he said something to her. She blurts something out at the same time and gets up to leave, and that's when I saw it:
She was pregnant.
7. I Want To Know Too
I was standing in line behind a couple at a restaurant waiting to be seated. Their conversation left me utterly confused, itching for answers:
Guy: Oh, so you’ll never believe who I got an email from.
Girl: Oh yeah, who?
Guy: From the old place, it was about the compost and—
Girl: Look I just…I just can’t, okay? I can’t get into that again. Not again.
I want to know what happened with the compost at their old place SO. BADLY.
8. A Perfect Mimic
I was trying to sleep on my brother’s couch and his parrot, who usually did cute things like whistle The Simpsons theme, suddenly said something in my brother’s voice that gave me chills: "He's dead, he's finally dead".
I shot upright and the bird and I locked eyes. Until now, it was our little secret.
9. The Pageant Girl
In the late '90s, I worked at a horrible Italian restaurant in a city whose most prominent native son is fictional.
A family sat down in my section. One of the kids was wearing a pageant costume and an absurd amount of makeup. She looked to be about seven years old. That was creepy enough—but buckle your seatbelts, friends, it's about to get a whole lot creepier.
So I delivered carb bombs to this table and noticed that the little girl's cup of chocolate milk was nearly empty. I asked her parents if they would like me to bring her a refill, some 2% or whole, or some water, careful not to utter the words "chocolate milk" just because most parents don't want their kids having more than one cup of chocolate milk. They asked for water, so I brought over a fresh cup.
As I approached the table, I heard unhappy child noises. Then, an adult said, "Jon Benet ALWAYS took at least one bite of her dinner".
For context, the Jon Benet Ramsey case was a big deal in New Mexico—it was just up the road, and it hadn't been but a year or so before. It was scary for parents, and not something they joked about. Surely I'd misheard because honestly, I had thought, "Who still does that Jon Benet stuff anymore?"
I gave the little beauty queen her water and she lost her mind. "I want chocolate milk"! She took a swing at the water cup and knocked it over. I picked it back up and got to cleaning up the mess.
The mother then said, clear as day: "Brianna, what happened to Jon Benet when she knocked over her drink?"
Now I've let a lot of things slide while waiting tables. If I'm not actively tuning out conversations, I'm certainly acting as if I am. But this, friends—this would not stand. After a long silence, I ask the mom, "I'm dying to know—what did happen when Jon Benet knocked over her drink?"
Silence".
Oh no. No. You're not implying..".
Silence.
I often wonder what happened to that kid.
10. Thanks Darlin’
The woman sitting behind us at a diner was clearly an emotive former exotic dancer with a complicated past. It was like a scene from a movie. She was apologizing to her date—who had left the priesthood for her—for still being in love with her abusive ex. She was very wound up and ended up trauma-dumping for an hour with him saying almost nothing.
At one point she said, "You must hate me so much".
His reply, calm as ever with a little bit of a Southern accent, was hilarious: "Darlin,’ I’m about ten minutes past hatin’ you".
11. Eve 2.0
This lady I met threw me for a loop. From the moment I first laid eyes on her, I knew she was crazy—but then she opened her mouth and took it to a whole other level. Basically, she told me that she believed she was an experiment created in the Mayo Clinic lab. She said she had no parents and was the first of her kind. The entire conversation was completely bizarre. She absolutely needed some mental help.
12. The Sand Castles
I was on a beach in Hawaii with my wife. We were sunbathing and this family of three, also Irish, came walking by and set up beside us. A tween son, mom, and dad. The son didn't look like he is a very active kid if you get my drift.
They were talking and the dad was dropping F-bombs the entire time; not angrily, but still rather aggressively. Then the son walked a couple of meters over and sat down to start building what I could only imagine would soon be a masterpiece of a sand castle.
As soon as the dad noticed this, he got very visibly upset. He stood up, pointed at the kid, and yelled: "I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU BUILD ONE MORE SANDCASTLE WE ARE GOING HOME". After a couple of minutes of deliberation, the whole family then went into the water.
After hearing those words, I just lost it. Those were the two longest minutes of my life, waiting for them to walk away, and as soon as they were far away enough, my wife and I couldn't stop laughing. It was such a ridiculous sentence and there was just so much baggage and resentment in those words.
Why? How many sandcastles had this kid built? Did the dad spend the last of his savings on the trip as a Hail Mary to get the kid to realize the wonderful world of beach bodies and swimming to change his videogame ways, only to find that the kid was just interested in sandcastles?
What a weird dynamic.
13. Kitten Rescue
I just took in a kitten that was trapped outside in a carrier with no food, water, or litter box. Thinking about the events leading up to this point still gets me in a rage. The kitten belonged to my downstairs neighbor and I overheard from my window their son telling other kids not to touch it because his mom threw it away. I looked out my window and there was the carrier next to the trash can with the kitten crying in the cage.
I took the kitten that night and now she’s eating and drinking. She's currently skin and bones, and I can feel them all. She's purring at my feet right now, playing and giving me headbutts.
Some people don't deserve animals.
14. The Elevator Ride
My friend and I were just using an elevator when one of my neighbors, an elderly woman, joined us. We tried some small talk with her, but she took the opportunity to "word vomit" all over us. She basically ranted on about how no one wanted her despite doing everything in the house, and how her daughter was looking at some asylums to throw her into.
Cue awkward silence.
15. A Slow Tuesday Night
It was a slow Tuesday night behind the bar and one of my new guests came in. I had tended to him a few times and he seemed like a super nice guy—he tipped well, drank well, and ate well.
On this particular night, a woman came and sat down next to him. They seemed to know each other pretty well, so I was thinking they were work buddies because I knew he didn't have a girlfriend (honestly, I thought he was gay). So an hour or so went by and they had two bottles of really nice drinks, ordered basically everything they could off the menu, and both of them were having a great time. Then my hostess came around the corner of the bar and motioned for me to talk to her".
There is a man on the phone who is extremely upset and needs the bartender to answer the phone", she said, so I went to answer the phone, having no idea what this man wanted".
Hello sir, thank you for holding, what can I help you with"?
The man started with a chilling question: "Is there a man with dark short hair, brown eyes, a bit on the bigger side, sitting next to a short blonde woman with blue eyes at your bar?"
I turned around to get another look at them and replied to the man, saying, "Yes they have been here for a while, what's up?"
The man didn't say anything for a few seconds, and then in a very unhappy tone, he said, "That's my wife and my brother".
Just as he said it, I turned to look at the couple one more time only to see the end of a kiss. I told the man on the phone that I wasn't sure what I should do, or what he should do. I felt so awful, witnessing this man's life literally crumble.
I told the man I thought I should hang up and he should call his wife. After that, the man at my bar asked for his check, left me a good tip, and the two of them left. I haven't seen them since.
16. The Mechanic
I worked roadside assistance and I was changing a group of guys' tires in an apartment complex parking lot. It was not a good area. They were all standing around me, extremely agitated. Then, I discovered the dark truth—they were in a rush because they had planned to go out for revenge against someone.
I was wondering if I could make it to my truck in time to get my pistol if I had to at that point. They nearly ran over me leaving—the moment the car dropped on the new tire, they turned the engine on and floored it.
I blacklisted the entire zone and called the authorities after I left, but they didn't seem to care.
17. The Fishing Trip
When I used to bartend, I overheard a conversation between a few regulars—they were these rich finance guys whom I knew fairly well and they were talking about their yearly "fishing trip" in the Bahamas. Apparently, they rent a yacht and they don’t bring their wives.
I’m not sure how much fishing is actually happening because they kept describing the South American women that come on board for a couple of days. They each get their own ‘companion’ and it’s apparently a tax write-off too because it’s a business trip.
The worst part? It felt super weird because I know their wives and serve them occasionally too.
18. Good Advice
I was on the subway in NY and there were three kids about 11 years old, two boys and one girl. The whole subway ride, the boys were trying to convince the girl to sleep with them because everyone has already done "it". This poor girl looked so uncomfortable.
Fortunately, my husband and I exited at the same stop as them and as we were walking up the stairs, we saw the chilling scene—the boys were calling her crude names for not wanting to sleep with them. Enough, I thought and I told those two boys to knock it off and that what they were doing was not cool.
I then looked that little girl straight in the eye and said, "These two brats and all boys are going to say anything to get their way. You hold your ground and protect your body".
I'll never forget her smile. She definitely needed an adult.
19. Don’t Mess With This Mom
When I was young, maybe 8 or 9 years old, my mom and dad were fighting. I heard my mom tell my dad, "You don't even care about them! I'll take them and you'll never see us again"! And then my dad yelled back, "Why don't I just get rid of you and then get rid of them right now!"
At that point, my heart jumped. I could hear glass shattering. I ran and grabbed my baseball bat thinking I'd have to fight my dad to save my mom, but he just ran out of the house instead.
Turns out, the glass shattering was something my mom threw at him after he said he'd get rid of us. She's a fierce woman.
20. The Time Travelers
I overheard a couple talking about a specific time period in history and how fascinating it was. They were eating steaks and kept talking about how good the real thing was.
Then they mentioned how crazy it was to think all these luxuries would be gone someday. But the freakiest thing they mentioned was how the pandemic started the downfall. This was in 2017.
I never gave it much thought until Covid hit. I'm wondering now if they were time travelers or if we are in a simulation...Or maybe they were just LARPers that got it right.
21. The Friend
My dad brought me over to his friend’s house back when I was young. He started telling a story about how he sold a guy a van without telling him there were no brakes because they wouldn't have bought it otherwise and he needed the cash.
The result was absolutely disastrous. After the guy bought the van and left, he couldn't stop and he ended up in a fatal accident with a family of three.
My dad’s friend said it so plainly like it was a normal thing. He just wanted to put food on the table.
22. The Holy Men
These used car salesmen who were lay leaders at my parents’ church were driving me to Bible study. They started bragging about how they could fix up a car to be just enough to be sellable enough, then sell it at a high-interest rate to bad-credit, low-income people "as-is".
Then, when the car would inevitably break down, they would take it as a trade-in for a tiny percentage of the cost and keep the mark on the hook for the loan by selling them another lemon. Or, they would set a monthly payment high enough that they knew the person would eventually default and they could repo the car. Then they’d fix it up again and repeat the cycle. That blew my mind, but what was even more shocking was that one guy bragged he had "sold" the same car TEN times.
And these hypocrites would sit at the front of the church every Sunday acting like holy men.
23. Breaking Up Over Whatsapp
I witnessed someone breaking up their marriage of 15 years over Whatsapp. It was surreal. I could see the guy's messages coming in and he was going crazy.
This was years ago when I was on vacation in America. I was on a bus and I just so happened to glance at a 35-ish-looking woman's phone. I was standing and she was sitting with her back to me so she couldn't see me.
She just typed this whole big message about how she thought it was best that they split up and that she was going to leave him, but she didn't give any reason why. I guessed it was just some fling. She was being weirdly casual about it.
The guy replied instantly and seemed very surprised and upset. He was asking her questions about why she would do this, but she barely answered. She just said stuff like, "We had a nice time together, I'm sure you'll meet someone nice", while not actually responding to any of the questions the guy was asking her. The situation continued to escalate from there.
The guy was saying stuff like, "How could you leave me after 15 years of marriage?" and "There was another guy, wasn't there?" He basically kept repeating those two things for a while but he wasn't getting through to her—she just kept saying stuff like, "I'm sorry it didn't work out, I still love you though" but not responding to his actual words.
It was like seeing an AI talk to a very distressed man. I don't know why she was being so casual and why she wasn’t engaging with the guy's messages at all. I don't know why they were doing this over Whatsapp. This whole time, this lady didn't make a single noise or movement, she seemed totally emotionless.
Eventually, I had to get off the bus, so I don't know what happened to them. I thought maybe I was being pranked or they were just messing around. It was a very weird experience.
24. That’s A Relief
"I just can’t believe they breed like that. They really should be exterminated", said the lady at the grocery store. Hearing that, I was floored.
Then she followed up with, "I just hate my daughter’s guinea pigs".
25. When You Really Want A Daughter
My aunt (on my father's side) was telling a story to my wife while I was in the other room, but I overheard it. The story goes as follows:
For years now, I knew that my parents hoped for a girl, but instead they had two boys, me and my brother. My mother's family is very close to each other; in a bit of a creepy way at times. For instance, when I was younger, my mom and her two sisters would cuddle on top of my grandfather trying to be the "best daughter". They also lined up in front of each other and played the "train game", where they would scratch each other's backs and play with each other's hair, all while basically moaning and sighing over how enjoyable it was.
Anyways, my aunt was talking to my wife. She mentioned that she was visiting my mom when all of a sudden, my mom's sister and mother showed up unexpectedly for afternoon tea and a gossip fest (a common occurrence, but it would end up being the first and last time that my aunt would be part of it).
This happened when I was about 8 years old. They got into a discussion about my mother not having a daughter. That was bad enough, but their next revelation was shocking—they said they would have preferred if my parents had girls instead of boys.
My mother explained that the option of having a girl wasn't possible as my father had a vasectomy and that the adoption process in Canada is tedious. My mom’s sister and mother countered by saying that sometimes vasectomies don't always work and that my mother could always have an affair, get pregnant with a girl (because you can apparently pick and choose these things but only during affairs), and then claim that my father's vasectomy didn't take—even if that meant him having to go back and get another one to make sure it's done properly.
My aunt told this story as if she was haunted by it and said that everyone participating in the discussion was speaking matter-of-factly, with no hint of it being a joke. Fun times.
26. The Last Straw
I remember this very clearly. It doesn't really fall in line with messed up, but it was definitely something.
I was grabbing a quick bite to eat at a Thai restaurant and there were two ladies sitting in front of me, eating. The place was pretty much empty aside from the two ladies, the waitresses, and myself, so I could hear everything clearly. Looking back, I wish I hadn't been able to.
Woman 1: "Yeah, I broke up with him a week ago. I just can't handle it. He's so immature sometimes. He's like a child".
Woman 2: "What do you mean?"
Woman 1: "Like a week ago, we were sitting on the couch watching TV. And he gets up in the middle of the show, gets in front of me, takes his pants down, bends over, and just farts in my face. That was the last straw".
27. Tastes Like What?
I was swimming in the ocean and a guy waded out with his little girl on his shoulders.
"Daddy", she said, "the ocean tastes like pee"!
"No it doesn't, dear", he replied. "You don't even know what pee tastes like".
Cue the punchline: "Yes, I do".
Silence.
28. The Arsonist
"I know dad had that boy taken care of. He said he had nothing to do with it, but he definitely did".
My grandma was talking to my great-aunt about an arsonist who burned down a bunch of houses until he burned down a house belonging to a friend of my great-grandpa. In a surprising twist, they then found the arsonist lifeless inside an abandoned house that he supposedly set on fire and couldn’t get out of.
29. Cat Litter
I work in public service. A woman called to complain that her son (an adult) signed up for a certain service and she didn’t know about it until she got the bill in the mail. In the background, in between talking to me, she whispered to her son, "You put cat litter in my drinks, you can’t sign up for this!"
And it got even weirder. He then said, "That was one time," to which she replied, "You’ve been doing it every day!"
It was peculiar.
30. Babyface
I used to work in a maximum security state prison in Oklahoma. I heard a grizzled old convict say the most cold-blooded thing ever: "The fatter they are, the sweeter the meat" while pointing toward a baby-faced, obese, 22 -year-old inmate.
31. The Divorce
I was a busser at a restaurant about a year ago and while I was refilling ice at the bar I overheard two gentlemen having a tipsy conversation. One guy was basically telling the other that he was trying to get his wife to cheat on him so he could have a reason to divorce her. I was confused at first, but then it clicked for me—he was basically devising an escape plan, which caught me off-guard because they were in full professional business attire.
32. The Nurse
I overheard a nurse getting incredibly excited about a man's prostate cancer diagnosis. Her reasoning made everyone's jaw drop. I quote:
"He was such a momma's boy I had to leave him. He wouldn't stop doing things for her, and he's such a wussy for it. Like, he actually got her a Mother’s Day card but all he got me on Mother's Day was Wendy's. He kinda deserves it". She followed her rant with the most obnoxious laughter ever.
She was RIPPED APART by the specialist on staff, thankfully, but this woman was genuinely happy that her ex-boyfriend's prostate cancer was a thing, all because he loved his mom. Also, apparently, she didn't even have a kid. She just thought the world revolved around her. I haven't gone back there yet, however, I do hope upon return she's been terminated. Makes me wonder how many people would be happy about my cancer diagnosis.
33. Bowling A Strike
I never thought I'd hear someone say this with so much passion: "DON'T TALK TO ME! I'M BOWLING!"
It was a married couple on a date night in the bowling alley next to me and my husband. 25 years later, if one of us is concentrating and the other talks, we will still bust out saying, "I'm bowling!"
34. Yo Quiero Taco Bell
A friend of mine lived next door to a redneck in a small town east of Toronto. One day, my friend and I were outside the store when his neighbor walked up with his 9-year-old and 6-year-old daughters. We were standing outside the store with the daughters while the neighbor went in to buy lottery tickets. While we were standing there, the 6-year-old saw an ad in the window that said, "Chihuahuas for sale".
The younger girl saw the ad as well and exclaimed to the older one, "Look, chinchillas for sale"!
I turned to her and explained these were chihuahuas and not chinchillas. "You know, like the Taco Bell dog", I said. Then things went sour.
At that moment, the neighbor came out of the store and added, "And you know what happened to the Taco Bell dog, don't you? He lost his job because some immigrant took it".
Prejudice. Gotta start 'em young.
35. The Tutor
I was getting tutoring and at some point, the tutor got a random call. I’m not sure if it was her daughter or what, but the caller said something that burned into my memory: "You got your wish, I have cancer and I’m not getting treatment".
I acted like I heard nothing but I was shocked.
36. Oversharing
I once was forced to take a 6-hour car ride with my mother, aunt, and grandmother. They discussed their intimate lives the entire time.
The worst part? I was only 12 years old.
37. The Sick Cat
Two weeks ago, my mother said to her friend, "We wouldn’t have to put the cat down if we weren’t going on vacation".
Here's the context: Our pet cat was very sick and surgery was too expensive, so we debated putting it down. I said I’d rather take care of the cat than go on vacation, while my mother said the cat was too sick to keep alive. She knew I’d then go on vacation if the cat was gone. Luckily, I trusted my gut—and the outcome couldn't have been better.
The cat is currently alive and surprisingly doing better, and I didn’t miss the entire vacation thanks to a helpful friend.
38. The Science Project
In my grade 8 science class, we were challenged by our teacher to create a device capable of extracting a coin from the bottom of a narrow jar, without touching the edges or sides of the jar. The coin was also stuck to the bottom of the jar with putty.
On the day of the challenge, I was sitting at my desk reading since I had already finished the work, and I overheard Nicole, sitting across and to the right of me, discussing with a friend about the coin project. The conversation left me speechless.
I heard Nicole state in pure confidence to her friend, "My mom said that it was a silly project because all you had to do was fill the jar with water and the coin would float to the top, but I told her that wouldn't work since the coin was stuck to the bottom with putty".
I think this was one of the few times I just slack-jawed at someone's stupidity.
Freepik, wayhomestudio
39. En Francais
I took French in high school, and though I'm definitely not fluent, I still remember a lot. One day, I was on the city bus and an elderly Frenchwoman and her friend got on behind me. From the bits I understood, they were old friends who hadn't seen each other in a while, and one had come over from France to visit the other. They were talking and laughing pretty loudly at this point, so I picked up on a lot more".
Oh did you hear about -name-"? asked the first lady".
Wait, who"?
"Jacqueline from Cologne"".
Oh yeah! What happened"?
"She had a daughter...but she passed on"!
Now I was thoroughly invested in this half-understood story and I gasped to myself, assuming the second lady would get upset at the news. There was a long pause...and then I realized their true sentiments.
They both burst into laughter".
Cette fille est morte (that girl is dead)!" They got off at the next stop, still laughing. Oh, how I wish I could have understood the whole story.
40. Dinner With Friends
One night, I was having dinner at a friend's house with his wife and their roommate. It was during one of the colder weeks in the winter. These people don't make very much and they are currently living in a two-bedroom house for $350 a month. It's obviously a bad house in an even worse neighborhood.
While we were eating, the roommate was complaining that it gets too cold in his room. He asked to borrow one of the small portable electric heaters. The wife's reaction was something else. She straight up said no in an aggressive tone, explaining that they were all being used—all three of them. My friend was using one, his wife another, and the third one was being used by her dogs.
The roommate, a 55-year-old man who was barely making ends meet working a part-time job at minimum wage, had a mixed look of defeat and rage on his face. I could tell my friend wanted to say something, but we both already knew the wife wasn't going to have any of it.
I always knew the wife was kind of mean. But wow...
41. She Really Has To Go
I was sitting in a GameStop two days before Christmas and a 40-something man was obviously looking for a game for his son. Some woman scurried up to him and declared, "Jeffrey, it’s time to go".
He tried to explain that he found the game for their son, but she was having none of it. She interrupted him to say again, this time way louder with no regard for bystanders, "JEFFREY, WE HAVE GOT TO GO…I’ve just tooted and sprayed the seat of my pants".
Jeffrey didn’t ask questions, but he definitely smirked at me and my brother knowing we heard. This was 15 years ago and my brother and I still repeat this often.
42. Bad Parenting
I once heard a man talking to a woman in a coffee shop about his wife and kids. Their conversation shook me to my core. Long story short, his wife called him a narcissist because he forced his four-year-old and six-year-old kids to listen to their argument and pick a side.
Making your own kids pick between their mother and father is just outright cruel.
43. Getting The Point Across
When I was younger, before I had kids, I heard a mother say to her four-year-old child: "If you don't hold my hand in the parking lot, the cars will get you and you will die".
My reaction to this was surprising, even to me. While I thought that was a little much, as I got older and had a kid of my own, I definitely understand that that mom was probably just pushed to the edge that day.
44. The DNA Test
When I was in a restaurant in NY, I was at a table with my mom and the guy behind me goes, "Oh yeah, so I took a 23andMe test and it turns out my son isn’t even my biological son".
His friend said in the most monotone voice, "Wow, that sucks, bruh".
But the kicker was that the first guy added so casually, "Ya know, I thought between me and her, I was going to be the cheater but she beat me to it". It’s just…wow.
45. The Starter Husband
I was having lunch with an older guy I used to ride motorcycles with and in the booth behind me there were two young women talking. One of them went on about her life plan, and it made my blood boil. She was ready to go find her starter husband, have a few kids with them so she could live off the child support, then find her forever husband.
It crippled my trust in dating for years after.
46. Complicated Family
I was at a bar and the bartender said to another customer, "So did I tell you I'm either going to be a grandmother or a great aunt"?
The dude looked at her, confused, and her reply had him completely frazzled: "Yeah, my son and his wife got into a fight and she went and slept with his cousin, my nephew, and now she's pregnant and they don't know who the father is".
I was like, what?!
47. The Potatoes
I was camping with my family as a kid and I overheard a tipsy couple's marital spat. At some point, the guy finally lost it. He started screaming, "GOSHDARNIT, BARBARA! IT'S THE DARN POTATOES"!
To this day I sometimes wonder exactly what they were fighting about.
48. It’s A Good Question
This isn’t as bad as some, but I thought this was hilarious. I was walking past the checkout line in Sears, I think, and this middle-aged woman was on the phone. I heard her say the most ridiculous thing: "Well, why are you covered in blood?"
49. One Way To Get Some Peace
I was waiting inside a doctor's office while nurses gossiped outside my door about random stuff. I'll never forget what I overheard:
"That's the good thing about having just had a baby though," one said. "If my husband tries to sneak in the shower with me, I just squirt him in the face with my milk".
50. Has Definitely Changed A Diaper Or Two
I was watching Jurassic Park in the theaters and the dino poop scene came on. You know, the one where she's reaching in, shoulder-deep in dino doo-doo. There was a couple in front of us and the wife leaned over, elbowed her husband, and said the craziest thing: "Remind you of something"?
We could not hold it together.
51. A Strong Opinion On CATS
I was in line to see The Lion King and I heard these two old ladies who sounded like they were from Queens. They had the Mike Myers coffee talk accents. CATS was coming back to town and they were discussing whether or not they wanted to see it. One of them already had and her friend asked what it was like.
Lady 1: Oh it's a lovely story about a bunch of cats. And they're all cute and interesting except for this one cat who's terribly old and depressed. So the other cats gather around and try to cheer her up by telling a bunch of stories and singing songs and things like that.
Lady 2: That sounds wonderful, did they cheer up that poor old cat?
Here's where their conversation got interesting.
Lady 1: No, so the other cats get fed up with having her around and they stick her in an old tire, set it on fire, and throw it through the ceiling.
Lady 2: Serves her right, bubbala, who wants some moody nasty old cat around anyway?
Cats (2019), Working Title Films
52. The Terrible Mother
My girlfriend at the time overheard a conversation I was having with my mother. This was years ago when I still periodically spoke to her.
My sister and niece had been living with my mother after my sister's partner had hurt her and they fled. My mother is a narcissistic sociopath who is unable to maintain a relationship with anyone for longer than a month at a time, so shortly after accepting them into her house, she kicked my sister and niece out (because my niece was being saucy) and they were forced to go live with our aunt.
Long story short, my sister fell ill and was diagnosed with cervical cancer. She was 26, newly alone, and was now living with my aunt who she barely knew and didn't get along with. Christmas was coming—this was early December, I guess. I live in a city about 4 hours away and called my mother to present her with an ultimatum that she talks to my sister and we get together for Christmas or I'm not making the four-hour trip.
My mother refused and continued to insult my sister, and finally, I snapped. I told her about the diagnosis and how it looked pretty bad. I was getting upset so my girlfriend came over to sit next to me on the couch just as my mother screamed into the phone, "I DON'T CARE IF IT’S CHRISTMAS, I DON’T CARE IF IT’S CANCER, I'M NOT CALLING THAT LITTLE BRAT".
I had spoken of how my "family was crazy" and my mother was a less than desirable person to be around, but mostly in a self-deprecating humor type of way. But the look on my girlfriend’s face at that moment made me realize how insanely messed up that was.
I had grown up being told whatever terrible things my mother could think up on a regular basis but it wasn't until I saw someone else react to her that I realized how dysfunctional it was. I don't talk to her anymore.
And PS: my sister has no inside lady parts anymore but she's 32 now and doing okay.
53. With Family Like This, Who Needs Enemies
I overheard my dad’s side of the family talking about me and my siblings, and calling my mom a nasty word in Tagalog. Little did they know that we understood a good amount of the language. We also knew that they were only there to see if they would get money when my dad passed.
54. Hopefully Just A Prank
I overheard two guys at a coffee shop having the most disturbing conversation I've ever heard. They were discussing where they should leave "her body" until they saw me looking. Then they just stared at me for five minutes straight. I haven't gone to that coffee shop since that incident.
55. The Renters
The house across the street from me had some new renters who weren’t good people. I never had any problems with them directly, but one day they had some friends over, and one girl had very obviously taken too much of something because she was freaking out.
They had her lay down on a couch at the side of the house, and meanwhile, they were mumbling some stuff to each other. And that's when I heard it—they were talking about driving her down to the creek and dumping her there. She left the couch and was crawling around making these zombie-like sounds in the front yard.
Immediately, I called emergency services and asked them to send an ambulance because someone had fallen and was having a medical emergency.
The ambulance ended up taking her, and it scared the renters. They ended up leaving a short while after.
Sources: Reddit, ,
