It seems that so many customers thrive on conflict nowadays. Some take advantage of the poor souls trying to help them, while others are downright rude or, simply put, dumb as dirt. But as these seasoned workers on Reddit will attest, the customer is not always right. Read on to learn more about their most moronic customer encounters.
1. Just Romaine Calm
I work in food service. One day I was doing my thing, fulfilling a sandwich order, when the customer suddenly barked at me, “HEY! I asked for light lettuce!” “Oh, sorry,” I apologized as I remade her sandwich. I then handed her the new one and said, “Here you go”.
She just stared at me and asked, "I don’t get all the rest of my order for free?” Now it was my turn to stare. “What? No”. She’d ordered for herself, her mom, and her two sisters. She was honestly shocked she wasn’t getting four full meals for free from a small mistake.
2. They Did It Just To Sprite Her
I used to work the front counter of a popular take-out restaurant. We got a lot of free or discounted food. Generally, the only thing we were required to pay for were drinks, which were $1.25 for a fountain drink.
One day, these two guys came in and ordered a pizza. They hit on me several times and made some gross inappropriate comments.
I rejected them and just did my job. They hassled me about trying to get free things included with their order, but I shut them down immediately, and they got really angry. Finally, it came time to pay. It was like $13 total for their order.
One of the guys handed me $9 from his wallet. He had several really large bills; I saw at least three $100 bills, multiple 50s, and several 20s.
So, he wasn’t short on cash. I counted it out in front of him and said, “Sir, this is only $9”. He told me, “No, it’s not”. I counted it out again to show him and said I needed four more dollars. He threw a fit and gave me $3 more as if I wouldn’t notice.
I gave him a “Really?” look, and he finally handed over another dollar.
After they paid, they started demanding free drinks. I said no. They responded, “No one will care. Just give us the drinks”. I said I could get fired, and I wasn’t allowed.
They got heated and insisted, “No one is looking. We’re thirsty and want drinks”. I just told them, “Too bad,” and said that they were pretty cheap, and they could buy two. Then they asked for water cups.
Our water cups were extremely small and clear plastic. I finally gave them the water cups, knowing they would get soda anyway. I didn’t really care that much.
Then the guy threw the water cups at the wall! He said those were too small and wanted soda cups still. Then he accused me of being ethnically prejudiced (I’m white, they were black).
At this point, I was getting really upset and called for my manager, who adored me and knew I didn’t take nonsense from people. When my manager showed up, they stopped saying I was prejudiced and became quiet because my manager is very obviously half-black.
My manager asked if there was a problem, and they said no.
He said he would stay up there with me until they left, but there was an issue in the back. Finally, their food came out, so I gave it to them. Then they needed my help in the back, so I went back there. When I came back up front, the guys were gone. AND SO WAS MY DRINK.
We watched the video footage later, and it showed the two guys leaving the store, seeing me gone, then coming back in. Then one of them reached over the counter, took my drink, emptied it out, and got some soda.
The joke was on them, though, because I was in the process of developing a cold. But seriously, what the heck? They were that desperate that they took MY drink. Which I drank out of and paid for? Gross.
3. Not Kohl, Lady
I was working as a cashier at Kohl’s on a Tuesday afternoon. That morning it snowed, so two other cashiers called off for the day. No extra cashiers meant lines would get long, and my line, in particular, had about four people in the queue.
All of a sudden, an older woman waiting in the line yelled, “Do you even know what you’re doing?” I turned to her, apologized for the wait, and continued to scan the items.
I also called for assistance, knowing good and well that no one could come to assist, just to appease the lady. After scanning one more person through the line, she was next. Clearly impatient, she looked at me and shook her head with disappointment.
When I was about halfway done with the transaction, I randomly heard the loudspeaker click on, and a female voice exclaimed, “Can someone help us? For the love of God, we are in the women’s area, I think. Can someone—” IT WAS THE LADY!
She’d grabbed the PA and tried to call for assistance while also trying to call attention to her jerktastic personality. After I hung up the phone and called the manager to remove her, she dropped her stuff and left. Jerk.
4. A Major Pain
We didn’t have an armed forces discount at the store I used to work at. Once, this giant of a man tried to convince me to just make up an army discount for him. He even mentioned a few times that it was usually 10%.
He was persistent for a good five minutes despite me repeatedly reminding him that it would get me fired. Then finally, he apparently had enough of me.
He leaned over the counter, stared me right in the eyes, and said, “How do you live with yourself? You’re stealing people’s money. How do you live with that?”
Then he kept pressuring me to answer as if he really needed to know.
5. It Just Needed A Lick Of Paint
Working at a chain restaurant, you never know what kind of things are going to come out of people’s mouths. I once had a lady who literally said to me, after trying her food, “This doesn’t taste like the picture”. I didn’t know what to tell her.
6. At Least If The Bill Comes In The Mail, They’ll Have Paper View
This is my litmus test for jerks. If I tell you doing something will get me fired, and you insist I do it anyway, not only am I not helping you, but I’m stonewalling you for future attempts. I had a guy who wanted to disconnect his wife’s cable and put it onto his name.
I checked the residence history, and they’d been doing this for the past five years. Okay, fine. I explained the procedure to him. The only way I could do it is if he paid off the final balance of the existing account, which was $250.
He says, “I’ll pay $100. I’m not paying the rest”. "Well then, I can’t help you sir".
I explained that they were going to flag the account (meaning they’d lock the location until someone with a lease and ID comes in to set up service), and I'd get written up for not following revenue assurance policies. He insisted that I do it anyway, or else he’d going to a competitor.
After five minutes of arguing, he finally yelled, “Fine, I’ll just have my son Robert call in and set the account under his name”. Guess who notated the account barring Robert from setting up service until the full balance was paid.
Krakenimages.com, Shutterstock
7. She Was Bacon The Rules
When I worked at a restaurant, I had a lady order a bacon cheeseburger with extra bacon. As soon as I set it down and walked away, I saw her take off all the bacon and stuff it in her mouth.
Moments later, she hailed me to tell me that they had forgotten her bacon and she wanted the burger for free.
8. You Can Dish It Out, But You Can’t Take It
I work in a restaurant. I once had a customer ask, “Do you guys have to-go containers?” I said, “Yes, we do. Here, I’ll grab you one. Is that for a beverage or your meal?” To which the customer replied, “Oh, that’s okay. I can make this work”.
Her next moved stunned me. She then walked out with the restaurant plate.
9. It Wasn’t Just The Car That Needed To Stop
In New York State, you have to have your car inspected for safety. If it’s not safe, you can’t drive it. I failed a woman’s car because her brake pedal went to the floor, and the car barely stopped. She LOST HER MIND and called her husband, who chewed me out.
He exclaimed, “You don’t know who I know. I’ll have your job by the end of the month!” etc. After about 20 minutes of arguing, the lady calmed down and accepted her fate. She asked, “Are the brakes something the collision shop would check after an accident?”
I answered, “Sure, but it depends on where the damage was”. She replied, “Hmm, okay. I just got my car back, and they didn’t say anything. I crashed into a building because the brakes didn’t work”. I was just like, “Huh, weird”.
10. Murphy’s Law
In high school, I worked at Burger King, which was next door to a KFC. I was at the counter, and a man came storming in with a paper bag in his hand. He leaned over the counter and yelled, “You gave me freaking coleslaw!”
I was taken by surprise and didn’t really understand what was going on, so I asked him, “Sorry, did you say coleslaw?”
He proceeded to yell, “I just came through the drive-thru, and I ordered mashed potatoes, and I got coleslaw!” It took so much self-control not to laugh in his face. I kindly told him, “Sir, this is Burger King”. His eyes got wide, and then he looked around and walked out. I hope he got his mashed potatoes.
11. A Gluten For Punishment
This is something I’ve had repeatedly happen. A customer INSISTED that they had celiac disease and demanded that everything be made gluten-free.
Sure, I have no problem with that. It’s not something you can control, so no problem. That same customer then later ordered a beer. Cue instant rage.
Krakenimages.com, Shutterstock
12. She Was A Few Slices Short Of A Full Loaf
I work at a pizza place, and we sell breadsticks. This young couple comes in, and the lady stared at the menu for five minutes. Then, she asked me the dumbest question ever: “So, your breadsticks…Uh, do those have bread in them?” Gee, you think?!
13. Her Brain Was Just Phoning It In
I worked at a wireless phone company call center. This lady didn’t receive an operating manual, so I opted to help her through getting her new phone set up. I asked her, “Have you turned the phone on yet?”
She answered, “No, not yet”. So, I told her, “Please turn on the phone by holding the power button on the side”. But she insisted, “Nothing is happening”.
I replied, “Hmm. Okay, perhaps it needs to be charged. Please plug it into the charger and let it charge for a few minutes”. She responded, “Okay, it’s plugged in now”.
I told her how it was odd that she would have to charge it because new phones are usually charged halfway. A few minutes passed. Then I instructed, “Okay, turn it on now”.
She replied, “Still nothing”. I said, “That’s the weirdest thing I’ve ever experienced. Can you take the battery out for me?” That’s when she finally revealed, “The battery is already out”.
Well, HECK. There’s your problem. I understand that I didn’t tell her that she needed to put her battery in the phone, so maybe it was partially my fault.
However, I still think it was quite stupid for her not to put the battery in because most things that come with batteries need to have batteries put inside them before they work. I guess I like to think that people are smarter than they really are.
Krakenimages.com, Shutterstock
14. He Needed To. Com Down
I had a guy come and complain about a product on our website, and we didn’t have it in the store. We don’t carry everything they sell online. Some things even say ONLINE ONLY.
The guy proceeded to tell me about how I needed to tell my managers, and that they needed to pass it on to the higher-ups, or we were "GOING TO LOSE BUSINESS". Gasp.
Yeah, okay dude. Take your 5$ Catwoman on Blu-ray and get out. I make $9 an hour and I don’t give a fig that you had to drive 10 minutes to get here instead of waiting for three days.
15. She Was Out Of Her Depth
I worked at a swimming pool store, and a lady once asked me why she couldn’t put salt in her steel-lined, above-ground pool. I told her that salt is corrosive to metal, so it would destroy the pool.
She immediately began arguing with me, insisting, “But steel isn’t metal”.
I would have understood if she was just being pedantic and pointing out that it’s technically an alloy of iron and carbon, but no, she just thought it was something else I guess...After a back-and-forth exchange, I basically just ended with, “It’s going to rust. Don’t do it”. But I bet she did it anyway.
I just can’t explain how rage-inducing her confusion and stubbornness on the whole matter was. How do you not understand the concepts of corrosion or metal as a 40-year-old? She was wasting $5–$6k, basically. The frustration still boils inside me like, six years later.
16. Sorry, Cache Only
I once had a customer say to me, “Hey, I’m on your website, and this item that’s on sale, it says it’s online only. Do you have any in stock in your store?” I answered, “No, we don’t because it’s online only”. I thought that'd be the end of it—but then she opened her mouth again.
The customer continued, “But it’s on sale. Why can’t I get it in your store?” Slowly, I repeated, “Because it’s online only”.
17. Frustrating, Soda Speak
I had a lady come into my coffee shop today. She told me she was ordering for her son and stated, “He wants that Italian soda thing!” I replied, “I’m sorry. We don’t carry Italian soda. Do you know anything else about the drink?”
But she just repeated, “It’s the Italian soda one”. I said, “Okay. Was this a hot or cold drink?” She answered, “It was a cold one. The Italian soda!”
So, I replied, “We don’t carry Italian soda, but maybe you’re thinking of something else. Was it blended with ice?” She responded, “No. I know it was Italian soda, and no, it wasn’t blended with ice”.
Confused, I explained, “Well, I think you might have us mixed up with somewhere else because we have never had anything carbonated, bubbly, or resembling Italian soda”.
Still, she insisted, “No! I know it is this location. You guys make it for him all the time!” Upon hearing this, I asked her, “Oh, is your son a regular? Maybe someone else here knows his order”.
But she replied, “No. He’s not a regular. He’s been here like four or five times and he always has you guys make him the Italian soda”.
Trying to be clear, I said, “Well, the only ice drinks we have are ice teas, juice-based refreshers, or ice coffees. Could it be anything like that? None of them are carbonated”.
But the customer was adamant and argued, “It’s none of those things. It’s just like Italian soda, except it’s not called Italian soda, and you guys know how to make it, so will you please make one for him?”
I said, “Ma’am, I can’t make this drink for him if neither of us knows what it is”. She then exclaimed, “But I know what it is! It’s the Italian soda!” I almost lost it.
She settled on some frozen blended mocha drink instead, but not without chastising us about how it really shouldn’t be this hard to make her an Italian soda.
18. How To Get A Server Jalap-en-yo Face…
I once asked a customer, “Would you like some jalapeños with your nachos?” The customer answered, “No, I’m massively allergic. I could die”.
Instantly concerned, I quickly responded, “Oh, then you shouldn’t have any of this then. The cheese and salsa dip you asked for both contain jalapeños”.
The customer just looked at me and said, “Oh, don’t worry. I’m not actually allergic. Just not a fan”. You freaking thundering bag of bricks, I wasn’t going to force them down your throat. Next time, just say “No thanks,” and we can be done.
Krakenimages.com, Shutterstock
19. That Rapscallion
I was working the self-checkout lane when a customer asked me why his onions weren’t scanning through properly. I walked over and saw that he had typed in the word “ONIINS”.
He went on to insist that our machine was the problem and that his “ONIINS” should have been free because they weren’t scanning.
20. Reaching A New Lowe
I once overheard someone shout, “Man, y’all don’t know how to treat customers. It’s why you are all losing money. I’m going to Lowe’s”. This came from a customer yelling at customer service…in a Lowe’s.
21. The Customer Wore Him Down
I used to work at a dry cleaner, and this guy brought in a bunch of stuff. He brought in these garments called Khamis, which we charge $8 for.
He also brought in a bunch of T-shirts, some of which should have been charged as sweaters, which were more expensive. But because he brought in so much, I charged those as t-shirts which are $1.50 cheaper.
One of the Khamis he brought in was a little shorter than the others, and he said they should be the same as a blouse which is $5. I told him that I’d already given him a break on the T-shirts, so we should just leave the ambiguity alone to save him some money.
His math must have been terrible because he started arguing to lower the price of the Khamis to $5, and I told him if I did, I’d fix the prices on the sweaters. So instead of saving $3 from the price change, he’d be paying more for the sweaters.
I was pretty dumbfounded and said, “Well if you want to give us more money, whatever”.
22. New Aggrievement: Unlocked
I was opening the store in the morning. A woman was waiting at the door. As soon as I turned on the lights, she started rattling the door. I unlocked it and reached for the open sign. She barged in and said, “Are you open? Your sign is not on?”
She then proceeded to give me a lecture on how it should be lit if we were open.
A week later, the same woman was waiting for me to open the store again. This time, I flipped the sign before I unlocked the door. She came in and yelled for five minutes about how the sign was on, but the door was still locked. Sometimes, you can’t win.
23. Serve Them A Dumb Blonde Roast
I am a flight attendant, and for some reason, people on planes don’t know what black coffee means. “I’ll take a black coffee. With cream and sugar”. I never say anything, but come on, people.
24. Burning Issues
A lady once called the food delivery place I worked at to complain about her burnt pizza. I asked for her name but I couldn’t find it among the night’s orders. So, I asked her when she ordered, and she said, “A week ago”. Huh? That was annoying enough, but it got worse.
I then asked the obvious question, “So why didn’t you call back then?” Her answer? “We went on vacation”. I hung up. Whoever came up with the phrase “the customer is always right” must not have worked with actual customers.
25. Brewing Conflict
I work at McDonald’s, and we had a brand-new girl on cash. I’d say it was one of her first shifts after training. Someone had a coupon for a free coffee, but she accidentally promo’d their breakfast sandwich instead.
Cue to a bunch of complaints and criticisms from the customer because they paid for their coffee. I’m closer to the new girl than the manager—I’ve been there for six years—so I stepped in and explained that they didn’t pay for their breakfast sandwich, so they were actually saving more money.
They claimed they did pay for it because it was on the receipt. Well, yeah, but it read $0.00 next to it. “But I paid for it. It’s on the receipt!” they tried telling me again.
Eventually, I just rolled my eyes, grabbed a free coffee coupon, handed it to them, and told them to use it next time.
26. It Never Registers
We haven’t upgraded to using chip card readers where I work, and for a while, we had “Chip reader not active” signs up. But people would still put their cards in and wait until we pointed out that it didn’t work.
I got tired of it and put in a card that said, “No chip, please swipe,” and I still get people asking, “Chip or swipe?”
Some people will even go as far as taking the card out and inserting theirs. I usually just look at them and wait for them to see the “Chip reader not active” sign we still had up.
27. She Had Beef With That
At my first job, I worked at a fast-food place. Some lady wanted a cheeseburger without cheese, so I jokingly said, “Ha-ha, so a hamburger, got ya”. She was like, “No, a cheeseburger without cheese”. I explained it’s cheaper to just get a hamburger and that it’s the same thing.
Then she said the stupidest thing I’ve heard: “I’m allergic to ham, so I can’t have a hamburger. I want a cheeseburger without the cheese. It’s all I can eat”.
28. A Few Feathers Short Of A Duck
I worked at a zoo as the person who sold the tickets. This lady stood in this long line full of people waiting to buy tickets. When she finally got to me, she stared at the big board with the prices for an uncomfortably long time. Then, her next words made me facepalm inside: “Do you know what price the senior’s membership for the science center is?”
This woman got off the train at a stop called "Zoo", walked through a tunnel with pictures of animals and a voice on a loop that recites animal facts, stood in a long line in an area with animals projected on the wall, and stared at a huge board with a picture of a lemur on it.
Then she asked someone wearing a shirt that clearly read "Zoo" for the price of a completely different place that just so happened to be on the same street.
GeorginaCaptures, Shutterstock
29. They Were Just A Little Mixed Up
I worked in a coffee shop all through college, and I’ve come to believe that people don’t know what a blender is or what it does.
So many people would order a drink “cold,” and when asked if they wanted it iced or blended, they would say “iced,” then ask why it wasn’t all crushed up “like a slushie”.
30. Actually, The Cars Here Are A Little Buggy…
I worked at a gas station in Pennsylvania. We don’t sell booze in gas stations due to the laws in the state. When told this, a customer remarked, “Oh yeah, you’re all Amish up here, aren’t ya?”
I said, “Yes, sir. Genuine Amish cars at genuine Amish gas pumps outside, too”.
31. Thanks A Latte
I had a customer berate me for not layering her latte, which is when the coffee floats on top of the milk but under the milk froth. I told her that we had a new roast and that it must have been about the same density as the heated milk because it didn’t layer well.
She scoffed at me and said that a traditional Italian latte is layered (nope, layered lattes were invented after a normal latte) because the word “latte” means “layered” in Italian (wrong again, latte means “milk”).
The worst part was when my dad, who owned the café, came over to calm her down and see what she wanted. He spent a good amount of time making her a layered latte, carrying it ever-so-freaking gently to this monstrous cow, only for her to put sugar in it straight away and stir.
Tirachard Kumtanom, Shutterstock
32. They Were Doubly Cheesed
A guy walked into the fast-food chicken place my sister worked at. This restaurant was located on a semi-busy street with a bunch of other fast-food places. The guy walked up to the counter and was fishing around for money in his pocket.
My sister greeted him, “Hi, what can I—” but the man interrupted her. “Double cheese!”
Confused, my sister said, “I’m sorry?” The man repeated, “Double CHEESE!” So, my sister turned to the menu board located above the register and said, “Sir, we have—” but the man interrupted her again. “DOUBLE CHEESE! HOW HARD IS THAT TO UNDERSTAND!?”
My sister was annoyed by this point, so she just rang up his order for the one thing closely resembling his odd request: two sides of macaroni and cheese. She put the two small bowls on his tray and handed them to him.
But the man wasn’t happy. “What the heck is this? I said DOUBLE CHEESE!”
At this point, the manager came up to the counter and asked the customer if there was a problem. “Yeah, I asked for a double cheese and got this junk,” the man said as he pointed to the two bowls of macaroni and cheese.
The manager responded, “This is what you wanted?!” Infuriated, the man hollered, “No, I wanted a double cheeseburger!” Now it was the manager’s turn to be annoyed. He started pointing to the board and yelled, “CHICKEN, CHICKEN, CHICKEN!” The man, finally realizing, responded, “Oh, this isn’t McDonald’s?”
33. They Didn’t Buy Her Explanation
I was working at a video game store. A woman came in with her son and said, “I’m returning this”. She then presented me with a PC game, which upon further inspection, had so many scratches on the disk that it looked like it had been used on a DJ table.
Feigning surprise, I asked, “Whoa, what happened?” The woman answered, “It came out of the box like that”.
My manager overheard and came over for a look. She gave the customer an odd look and said, “We don’t sell used PC games, so that’s impossible. Maybe there was an accident with your machine, or did your child drop it?”
The woman immediately got uppity. “My computer is fine, and my kid knows better”.
While she was saying this, I noticed her little boy picking empty cases off the shelves, inspecting the empty insides, and then dropping them onto the ground before repeating the process.
The woman and my manager then got into an argument for a few minutes. In the meantime, the boy left a path of destructive curiosity across the XBOX and PlayStation sections.
Then he tore a piece of advertising and attempted in vain to remove a locked hook holding expensive headsets before eventually sauntering back to his mother to start screaming over the argument that he wanted a DS.
If you want us to give you the benefit of the doubt, you best not bring a walking piece of evidence to the contrary.
34. Serves Them Right
I saw this happen to my co-worker. I work at a fairly nice restaurant as a server, and as with any restaurant, we get cheap people who want things for free.
This couple came in, and it was a busy Friday night. They were given a table that had just been cleaned. After they sat down, my co-worker came out to say his greeting.
But before he could get a word out, one of the guests began flipping out. How dare they sit her at a dirty table. My friend had to actually move around the table to see a smudge from the light reflecting off it.
The woman was now irate that he offered to clean it instead of giving them a free appetizer. She looked at him, at 7 pm during a Friday rush, and said, “If you do not give us our entire meal for free, including booze, we’re leaving”.
Keep in mind that they hadn’t even ordered a beverage yet. My co-worker just looked at them and said, “Then leave”.
They then tried to backtrack and said they wanted to see a manager instead. But my friend told them, “No. Get out”, and they left. My friend had worked there for 10 years; he went right up to the managers and told them, and I backed up his story. We laughed.
35. Cheesus, Their Lord And Saviour…
I worked at a pet store and I once had a customer ask if the frozen feeder mice would come back to life after she thawed them.
36. Sorry, There’s Still A Charge
I work at a phone company call center. A customer once called in and demanded, “I want my entire bill credited to zero”. I looked at her account and responded, “We see your service was turned on and working for the entire bill period. May I ask why you want a credit?”
She answered, “I didn’t have any power, so I couldn’t use my service”. This made me raise an eyebrow.
FYI, traditional copper landlines do work during outages; you just plug in a corded phone, and you’re good to go, but quite a few people don’t know this.
So, I explained, “Our phone service continues to work when the power goes out in your neighborhood”. The customer said, “Oh, but it was just my house that was out. I forgot to pay my power bill”.
I replied, “I’m sorry, ma’am, but we cannot credit your phone bill due to nonpayment of your electric bill”. She then had the gall to ask, “Well, can I get credit for being a good customer?”
The customer’s history showed she had six denials for nonpayment in eight months. I was lost for words.
Krakenimages.com, Shutterstock
37. He Went Into A Sto-rage
While working at a storage facility, I had to put the unpaid units up for auction after three months of no payment. We called every three days if we didn’t get a hold of the person, then every week after not receiving a payment but speaking with the tenant.
I got a hold of a guy who was ALWAYS in “auction status” and informed him that unless he paid, his unit would be auctioned off in two months. I asked him if he understood, and he said yes. We had this conversation again and again for two more months until, finally, his unit was sold.
He came in three days later and said someone changed his lock. I explained his unit had sold at auction and someone else had rented the now empty space. The dude went ballistic. Calling me names I’d never heard of before, he said, “Why the heck would you sell my stuff?”
I reminded him that I’d called him every week since his unit went into auction status and said that he knew it would be sold. He responded, “I thought it was just a scare tactic to make me give you money! I didn’t think you were going to sell it!”
I almost had to call for law enforcement because he kept almost coming behind the counter.
38. Facepalm Time
While working for Apple retail, I once had a woman ask me this with a straight face: “If I add a lot of pictures and stuff to my iPad, will it get heavier?”
39. She’ll Be DOING Her Business Elsewhere…
My old store added a keypad lock to the restroom to try to stop some of the illicit substance usage/fornication happening inside. A woman asked me for the code, so I gave it to her.
She then shrieked at me, “WHY IS IT SO FREAKING COMPLICATED? YOU SHOULDN’T PUT YOUR CUSTOMERS THROUGH THIS! I WILL TAKE MY BUSINESS ELSEWHERE!”
I just stared at her, trying really hard not to laugh. The code was only four numbers.
Unknown author, Wallpaper Flare
40. New Customers On The Verizon
I had a lady yell at me the other day because she bought a bad TracFone (not our fault) that apparently didn’t have any reception where she lived (also not our fault). That's not even the craziest part. Apparently, she had a stalker (most definitely not our fault) who showed up at her house and could have unalived her.
She said that she should sue the company. Go for it, lady.
But it was all our fault because we carry that particular phone, along with 10 other prepaid phones as well as multiple contract phones...Jeez.
41. A Reality Check
When I worked at a bank, I had a customer come into the branch angry because his account was overdrawn. I looked at the account and noticed several checks had gone through, so I told the customer, who then got even madder because how could his account be overdrawn when he still had blank checks in his checkbook?
The dude truly believed that checks were like cash.
42. Righty-Tighty, Lefty-Loosey
Mechanic here. When I started as a lubie, I had a customer come in and say we installed his oil filter too tightly. He was attempting to change his oil at home and couldn’t get the filter off.
He came in ranting and raving about how it was too tight and that, AS A MECHANICAL ENGINEER, he should be able to remove it.
I walked over, grabbed it, and twisted it off. Then I looked at my co-worker and said, “Huh, guess I’m smarter than an engineer,” and laughed.
43. It’s A Pretty Cut And Dry Concept…
I’m a cosmetology teacher. A client was complaining that she used to be able to touch the ends of her hair by reaching behind her back around the bra strap area, but now, after the haircut, she couldn’t reach her hair. I’m used to dealing with slightly unhappy guests, so I asked her how much length she originally wanted to take off, to which she replied, “An inch”.
Well, low and behold, if that hair wasn’t a solid inch above that dang bra strap! I had to explain to a grown woman that if you cut an inch off your hair, then your hair will be an inch shorter...
44. A New Bone To Pick
A few years ago, I was delivering pizzas, and I was fairly awesome at triple-checking orders before leaving the store since return trips cost me chances at more deliveries and tips. This guy had to be in his 40s or so, and he ordered a pepperoni pizza and boneless garlic parm wings.
He answered the door, and his next move caught me totally off-guard—he threw a boneless wing into his mouth as he went to get the cash, and then came back furious, saying he got the wrong food. I was 99% sure everything was correct, at least as to my ticket, so I asked him what was wrong.
He then tells me there’s no way he ordered a pepperoni pizza because he doesn’t eat meat. This guy had somehow survived to adulthood, thinking the “boneless” in “boneless wings” somehow meant it wasn’t meat.
45. A Fitting End
I was working the fitting room at Hollister during my teenage years. We were about to close up, so the music was turned off. There remained a single girl in the fitting room, and as I was folding clothes about three feet away, I heard a loud smacking sound.
Lo and behold, a sensor were suddenly residing between my feet.
The girl was somehow oblivious to the fact that the sensor she’d just pried off the shirt to shoplift had bounced under the fitting room door and landed directly below me. I alerted my manager, who called security, and when the girl left her fitting room, security was waiting for her.
The moment she laid eyes on them, the first words out of her mouth were, “I didn’t do it”.
Her mom was called, and the girl tried telling the mom that I was trying to frame her. The real officers eventually came and searched her purse, only to pull out three flathead screwdrivers of different sizes.
I can still feel the shockwave in my bones as her mother connected the most vicious smack I’ve ever witnessed upon her thieving daughter’s face.
46. What An Airhead
A pleasant lady walked into the bike store I work at and asked us to help take her daughter’s bike out of the car to find out why it wasn’t riding as well as it had been when she got it.
I strode over to her minivan and lugged out a beautiful, spotless blue Bianchi. It looked like it had been ridden maybe twice.
The brakes were snappy, the shifting was crisp, and the chain had zero rust and zero stretch. The bike was basically as good as new…except the tires were empty. I asked her when her daughter filled them last. She was like, “You have to fill them?”
47. Good Customers Are Fuel And Far Between
I worked at a gas station. I once watched a customer pull up, whip her door open and slam it against the large, shiny silver pole that protects cars from running into gas pumps.
Her reaction was completely unexpected—she then proceeded to furiously get out, scream with her head facing the heavens, and run into the gas station, telling me I needed to be more careful where I placed those.
The thing had been cemented into the freaking ground for over twenty years.
48. That Tool Is Not An Office Staple
I work for a credit union, and today a customer came in and asked if he could borrow the stapler. I obliged, and he stapled his two papers together.
Two minutes later, he came back saying the staple pinched him. His next question floored me—he asked if I could smash the staple down with a hammer. Um, this is a credit union—why in the world would I have a hammer?!
I offered to just remove the staple, but he was having none of that.
49. Trying To Understand Would Be Fruitless
I was stocking bananas. A woman came up to me and said, “I need a bunch of fives”. So, I kind of mumbled, “Oh, okay,” and moved out of her way so she could pick and choose her bananas as she liked.
I continued stocking, and then I noticed something odd about the customer. She had not picked her bananas and was staring at me. Eventually, she says to me, “Just take two off of the bunch you’re holding!”
Like, woman, I’m not confused because I’m incapable of performing basic arithmetic. I’m confused as to why you felt the need to interrupt my work and why you couldn’t pick your own bananas like an adult.
