Let’s face it: Human beings can be really gross creatures. Although this is true for all of us at some point, some people know how to hide it better than others. From terrifying anatomy lessons to completely misguided childhood behavior, no one was ever supposed to know about these disgusting secrets. Well, until now, that is.
1. Loose Lips Sink Ships
I keep seeing the wedding photos of this girl I went to college with on social media. It drives me crazy—because I know her dark secret. We weren't close, but she decided to tell me and the rest of our group one day that she cheated on her groom at a sorority party, and then opted not to tell him. It’s hard to see him in those photos. It would be so easy to let the guy know anonymously.
2. A Woman Scorned
My senior prom was in 2010. After prom, I had a party at my parents' cabin, which was just outside of town. Later that night, I stumbled on something horrific. I found my boyfriend, in my car, getting it on with my volleyball co-captain. Up until that point, I thought we had been friends and that my boyfriend was totally faithful. There was nothing I could do…but plot revenge.
I didn’t confront them. Instead, I went to his car, which was pretty much brand new, and took a dump in the passenger seat. I wiped it with some napkins he had in the glove box and put them in his cup holders. Then I went back inside and kept on partying.
3. Unidentified Flying Object
As a teenager, I was abroad with my class on a trip and shared a room with two other girls. One morning, I went to the toilet to take a dump. But when I was finished, I got that horrible feeling in my stomach when I saw that the toilet flush wasn’t strong enough to wash it away. I panicked. So...I grabbed my own poop with toilet paper, wrapped it around, and threw it as far as I could out of the window.
4. Cutting to the Quick
My sister once had a meltdown because she thought I had taken a pair of nail clippers shaped like a foot that she owned. I told her (truthfully) that I also had a pair of them, and she had actually taken mine. In reality, they WERE hers. I found mine an hour later. Rather than tell her, I gave back hers and said, "If they mean so much to you, you can have them." But then I took it further.
I hid mine in her bag when she went back home. She got there and found the two nail clippers, and now believes that she was wrong and that the nail clippers she had a meltdown over were actually mine.
5. Every Family Has One
My dad's affair with a man roughly my age. My childhood with my parents was terrorizing and physically harmful enough, and I'm too detached to tell my mom or siblings. Also, word to the wise: If you're expecting a text from the hot young stud you plan to see later, maybe don't leave your phone on the restaurant table while you go to the bathroom.
6. Ice Cold
There is an infamous story from my school about this girl who ended up needing glasses after she got a snowball in her eye. The snowball had come flying from the other side of the building, across the roof, and hit her smack dab in the eye. This was 15 years ago, now. No one knew who threw that snowball...but it was me.
7. Daddy Issues
My father got fired years ago for trying to sneak money from his employer, but he told me he quit for the sake of his mental health. I found the truth out a few months after it happened. But his latest lie is the worst by far. He tells our extended family that he’s still working, and that the reason he never has any money is because he’s “supporting” me.
I pay my own way, and have loaned him hundreds that I’ll never see again—thousands when you count the money my sibling has loaned him, too. Meanwhile, I have to deal with my entire family thinking I’m an evil selfish witch for forcing her father into poverty. I’m looking into moving out and getting my own place, and I’ve drastically decreased contact with my family.
It got to the point where I was suicidal a few years ago because of all of it. When they call, he’ll dramatically tell them about the eight 12-hour shifts in a row he just did while I supposedly do nothing. Covering for him is no longer worth the toll it takes on my mental health. I come up in bright red stress rashes before family visits because I know it’ll be days of hearing how hard he has it and how much of a burden I am to him.
As this happens, he says nothing at all to defend me or to make them ease up. His biggest response has been to do “funny” impressions of what I look like when I’m having a panic attack. My brother knows the truth, at least, and he keeps me sane. And through it all, my dirtbag father still doesn’t know I know the real reason he left his job.
8. Good Girl
When my sister was younger, probably around the 2-4 age range, whenever she did something I asked her to do, I gave her a dog bone as a reward. She never listened when we were younger, but as soon as I started giving her dog bones, she was like a totally different person. This was almost 20 years ago now, and I would’ve gotten away with it if it weren’t for my meddling mom asking why her breath smelled like dog food.
9. Skeletons in the Closet
When I was 15, my dad sat me down and told me the true story of why my parents divorced when I was still just a kid. My brother and I had lived with my mom, so we only heard her story before that, which was that my father was an awful alcoholic and she decided to leave because of it. The truth was much more complicated.
The true story was that, yes, my dad was an alcoholic and he and my mom weren’t compatible in any way. So he threw himself into work—and my mom began an affair with my uncle’s neighbor. My dad caught them, filed for divorce, then got sober. 12 years later, only my dad and I still know the true story. We both knew that my brother wouldn’t be able to handle knowing. It took a few years and therapy, but I forgave her.
10. The Tell-Tale Eye
In biology class, we were dissecting a pig’s eyeball. My hand slipped, and the eyeball fell on the floor. Being extremely lazy, I then kicked it under a cabinet, and it lay there for two years until someone finally found it.
11. Cruel and Unusual Punishment
When I was six years old, I was playing by myself at recess and found the kid in our class who was severely mentally handicapped playing by herself in a secluded corner without her helper for some reason. She had a butterscotch pudding cup, and she was trying to show it to me, or maybe wanting me to help her open it, since she was non-verbal.
I took the pudding and set it on the ground in front of me. Her helper appeared in the distance. She seemed frazzled as she was probably looking for the girl, and when the helper saw me beside her, she seemed relieved and approached the two of us. I don't know what came over me next, but I know I’ll remember it for as long as I live.
I just stared the helper in the eye and then crushed the poor little girl’s pudding cup with my foot. The helper screamed at me, like she was so horrified that a little kid could be so cruel. I ran away back to my house a few blocks from the school. I've done some bad things in my life as an adult—but this, I just can't get over. I don't know why I did it, and I don't think I ever will know.
12. Nobody Hurts Like Family
When I was in middle school, I was being teased physically and mentally, quite badly. My grades dropped and my mom got upset, so there was this period of fighting before we got into therapy together. The worst thing I’ve ever said to my mother was “I wish I had been a miscarriage like my older brother!” Yeah, it was a really rough time. Mom and I are very close now.
13. Liar, Liar
I know someone on my Facebook who is lying about her dad passing of cancer and her eldest daughter fighting a brain tumor. It’s all lies. Her dad is alive and well. Her daughter is completely healthy. One of the pictures she used as "proof" of her daughter’s illness is the girl lying in a hospital bed, but from what I know she was just in for observation after a small fall.
This woman has two Facebook profiles. One is for all her family and friends of the family. The second one—the one I’m in—is for old school friends, general acquaintances, and anyone she dates. There are so many more lies, but those two are the ones I know 100% to be false. I tried to confront her about this, and she denied it. Then the plot thickened.
She even tried to provide screenshot messages between her and her sister, HOWEVER, the reason I knew it was lies was that I talked to her mother to give condolences! Yep. Didn't go down well. Her mom accused me of being mistaken about the lies until I showed her screenshots of the posts. She didn’t reply. That's when I confronted the liar by message.
As far as I know, she's still lying. I did tell her to get help, and I admittedly took it very personally as my dad had passed not long before she lied about her dad, so it hit a nerve. She never admitted to it. Never explained. Instant block.
14. Just Keep Swimming
One time when I was like 9 or 10, I had to go to the bathroom really badly while my family and I were at a hotel pool. I didn't make it in time, so I sat on the pavement and just pooped on the pavement. In my swimsuit. When no one was around, I snuck to the bathroom and tried to clean it up the best I could. Never told anyone about that before.
15. The Old Guy’s Still Got It
I was playing soccer with my friends one day, and I accidentally kicked the ball into a house. As a rule, the person who kicks the ball has to go and get it, so I’m up. I went and asked for the elderly man who was living there with his son and daughter-in-law. I called his name a lot, but no answer came. So I just knocked at the door and it swung open.
I subconsciously went in and saw the ball lying right in front of my eyes. The moment I went to pick it up, though, I heard a woman scream at the top of her voice from the bedroom. Now it was too late for me to ignore. I had a peek through the bedroom door—what I saw made my blood run cold. The old man was going to town on some strange woman. I ran so fast after that and didn't stop until I reached home.
16. A Blessing and a Curse
I had a baby when I was 15, and he was adopted. Closed adoption. It was the most painful thing I’ve ever gone through. He turns 18 in a few months and if he so chooses, he can find me. I’m married and have kids now, and my kids have no idea he exists. I really, really want to meet him, but I’m terrified he’s got mental disorders like his biological father, who is now behind bars.
17. Politeness Gone Too Far
Well, my wife knows this now, but I wouldn’t tell another soul. A few years ago, my wife and I moved into her parents’ place to save some money. For a long while, we were adjusting to living with parents again, and it was strange and uncomfortable. So I woke up one morning and it felt like the world was about to fall out of my butt.
Not great at all. In fact, I'm panicking already. I went to open the bedroom door, and could hear my father-in-law getting ready to head out for work. I'm now really panicking and thinking oh my God, I know this is going to be bad. I'm not going to go take this mega dump so early on into our time living here, I need to devise a plan.
I stayed in the bedroom, emptied out the little bin we had in the corner, and pooped into the bag that was in there. I wiped my butt with some tissues that happened to be on the side, stand up, and tie a knot in the bag. Now I'm getting ready for work with this bag of poop by my feet. My next stage is to get rid of this thing, but that proved…complicated.
I can't do it in any of the bins there, so I think I'll take it out and find the nearest one I can see. I even question putting this bag of poop in a neighbor’s bin if nobody sees. Well…I walked 15 minutes to work with a bag of my own poop in my hoodie pocket until I could find a public trashcan to throw it in. Don’t be like me, kids, don’t be like me.
18. Food for Thought
My vegan cousin just celebrated her fifth year of veganism for moral reasons. But only I know the truth. Two Christmases ago, I was in charge of putting together a vegan posole for her, and I put chicken bouillon in it by accident. I just wasn’t thinking, but she’s definitely not five years vegan. I'm going to carry that secret with me forever.
19. Cheaters Never Prosper
We had a candy corn counting contest in like fourth or fifth grade where you guess how many are in the big jar. When no one was looking, I carefully took the tape off the top, thinking I was going to count them all or something, and saw that they had written the total on the inside of the top. So I came up with an “ingenious” plan.
Being a genius, I took out about 30 of them, ate the evidence, and put my guess in for the number minus 35—you know, so it wouldn’t be suspicious if I got it on the nose. Except my dumb self didn’t realize they weren’t going to recount them. The winner guessed it within 20 of the number on the bottom of the lid. So basically, I cheated, sabotaged, and still lost. I kept all that stupidity to myself for all these years.
20. A Watery Grave
In primary school, my friends and I saw water dripping from the rooftop on the playground. Without thinking, we let it drop into our mouths and drank it, giggling and excited we’d found our own personal water source. A teacher caught us, and we had to go right to the doctor—it turned out the water was coming from a pipe that rats had lived in.
21. My One and Only
My fiancée is the only person I actually enjoy being around. I don't really say that out loud because it puts unfair pressure on her and exposes my antisocial tendencies. I wasn't always this way—it kind of happened over the past 6 or 7 years after a deep depression and struggle with addiction. I've been happy for several years, but I haven't been the same.
When I make myself hang out with friends, I generally sit there thinking about how long I should stay before I can duck out and go home without looking like a jerk. It’s hard for me to have conversations with people because I just think things like "When are they going to leave me alone?" or "When can I leave?" It’s not a great thing to feel.
I'm pretty good at hiding it and have several people who consider me to be their friend, but I secretly get no enjoyment out of those relationships. I'm not sure why my fiancée is different, but it makes me very afraid of losing her. I'm almost positive I won't find anyone else that I will be able to love like I do her, and who will make me feel that way.
There have been a few months here and there in the past where we split up, and I went out on dates with several other women. Some of them were very pretty and very nice, but I absolutely hated the entire process and never followed through on subsequent dates. I wish I could change that about myself, but I just don't know how.
22. A Simple Solution
No one knows about the amount of poop I have to deal with right now. I'm hiding it from family. My son is in the middle of months of potty training, and has realized that having poop in his diaper makes him uncomfortable. He's super independent, so instead of alerting us he just...takes it out. We've been working on it, and then we think we're past it, and then we go to get him from a nap and there's poop everywhere.
23. Boy Trouble
A few years back, one of my wife’s best friends started dating a guy who pinged my wife’s “jerk” radar. He didn't have a driver's license and claimed he never had one, yet he owned a car that didn't work. He then started using my wife's friend's car regularly and used her debit card to pay for gas. Something wasn’t right, so my wife paid to have a background check done on him. The results were disturbing.
She found out he had a revoked license for a hit and run, and a rap sheet that looked more like a laundry list. My wife actually chose not to say anything because she thought she'd gone too far, and her friend thought the guy was The One. This was a big mistake. Soon enough, he wiped out the friend’s savings buying illicit substances. So maybe she should have come clean on that one sooner...
24. All in the Family
My brother-in-law was sleeping with my now ex-wife. I tried telling my sister, but she only screamed at me that she wanted nothing to do with me. Before I could show her my evidence, she just told me to stay away from her. My brother-in-law now avoids me because he knows that I know everything. Still, I haven’t told anyone, and worry for when I do because they have children and a house together.
25. Proud Papa
My one friend has no idea that I've known that he doesn't have kids for months. I also know he's been saying this and lying to everyone for attention. He tells a very convincing story. He goes into vague details, has a photo of the girl who he claims is his ex, and says that she's been showing him fake paperwork as proof for the children.
Little does he know, I've been watching him closely and also researching to find this woman. I know she isn't real and that he's lying and has been lying this whole time for almost a year. Nothing he says makes sense, and it just keeps escalating, which also doesn't make sense. I literally couldn't help myself but investigate.
If everyone finds out that he's been lying this whole time, it will spread like wildfire. He doesn't have many friends and the friends he did have stopped talking to him because of his compulsive lying.
26. The Real PizzaGate
This is awful. I'm so sorry. I still feel so bad. I was once delivering pizza, and I couldn't find the address, so it took me a good long while to deliver it. Then, upon finally reaching the apartment complex, I dropped the darn pizza….I didn't say a word, picked it up, and kept on going up to the apartment. I handed it to her. She left a nice tip...I'm so sorry!!!
27. Schoolboy Crush
My friend has a serious crush on our computer teacher. Initially, I just brushed it off, thinking he was just full of teenage hormones. But one day, it all unraveled. During lunch break after computer period, everyone in our class went to the cafeteria, though he hung back. I forgot my money, so I went back into class...
That’s where I caught him sniffing at the teacher's desk and sitting on it. He was my best friend, so I didn't confess this to anyone until now. School's over, so now I’m breaking my oath.
28. A Real Stinker
In college, a friend of mine wasn’t prepared for an exam. Instead of studying, cramming, or risking failure, he bought a bulk package of stink bags that smelled incredibly foul—mostly like sulfur or rotten eggs. In the hour leading up to the exam, he took said stinkers and dropped two in every bathroom. But he wasn’t done yet.
He also put one in each elevator, the stairwells in the building, trashcans in the hallways, and anywhere he could think to stash these things. The university had to close down the building for days because they thought there was a serious gas leak, and he got an extra week to prepare for his exam. I’m pretty sure he still failed.
29. Friends for Never
I made up a person. When I was in high school, I wanted to sound more popular, so I made up a guy friend. He had an incredibly interesting backstory. This went on for years, well into college. I had the same friends, so I couldn't just end the charade. The funny thing is, all of these people—my family, my best friend, even my husband—believe that they met this man.
I never introduced them to anyone, but over the years, they all have different memories of seeing him. Finally, I just sort of phased him out, saying that we grew apart and lost touch. And yet, people will randomly ask me for updates on him. I just give vague answers and watch my husband smirk from across the room. My husband is the only person who knows the truth. I am so ashamed that I will never admit it.
30. The Long Haul
I quit smoke six months ago after years of the habit, much to the delight of my boyfriend. Like four months ago, I got a little disposable vape and I thought I would keep it at work and just get the 2-3 days of occasional enjoyment and stop again. Well, now I've bought so many. It's constantly hiding in my bra, purse, or in the tampon box in the bathroom.
I feel so guilty and I can't stop again, and he has no idea. It's the biggest secret I have. My friends don't even know, and it makes me feel so gross using this thing in private while celebrating my six-month milestone. He would be so disappointed if he caught me. Honestly, though, this felt so good to get out. I will quit, again, soon.
31. Moving on
30 years ago, I got ripped off by a "friend." He faked his rent payments for our flat, and we got evicted. Then I did something truly unforgivable. I made some calls, and he got send away for an ongoing series of student visa breeches. He had been evicted or kicked out of every place he had resided in since arriving on his visa. Still, I feel really bad about it to this day.
32. Here Kitty, Kitty
When my sister and I were little, she would lick her cat because she thought she was helping to clean him.
33. Skimming off the Top
I occasionally went to a convenience store when I was a kid to buy some stuff that my parents ordered me to get for home. They almost never gave me allowance at the time, but there was a brand of Jello candy in a wrapper that I liked. So I'd open it a little and take from the candy every time I visited that store. Until the day it took a turn for the worst.
One time, I got caught, and a worker there accused me of stealing. When he searched my pockets, he found nothing—although I was storing some in the same pockets that he searched. It was such a close call. My younger sister was with me at the time, and I felt disgusted with myself. Since then, I’ve never taken anything, ever.
34. Red the Room
My brother and I were fighting when we were kids, and I ended up getting so furious that I dropped a ketchup bag on the floor with Hulk force. The bag, of course, exploded and splashed all over the very white walls and roof. My parents weren’t home at the time. We didn’t have paint to cover the stains, so we covered them with WhiteOut. My mom never realized anything.
35. Stranger Than Fiction
I broke up with someone once because the main character in a TV show I was watching had also broken up with someone. The character said that he just wasn't feeling the relationship and wanted out, and I was literally like "You know what? I feel that." The next day when I saw my boyfriend, I actually went through with it, though I gave other reasons.
36. Up and Away
One day, my toilet was blocked to the point that if I peed in it, it would have spilled onto the ground. Naturally, I end up having diarrhea before the plumber comes out. What I did was so, so brutal. I ended up pooping in an Amazon box, taping it as quickly as possible, then putting it down the slide into the trash chute. Oh, I wish I hadn't. The box opened as it flew down, and lava poop just went all over the chute and the huge trashcan.
37. Bad Teacher
I’m a teacher, and I've seen my co-worker hit a kid. The kid was about four years old and wasn't really listening to her, so he got a fairly sharp smack on the back. I was so shocked that I didn’t intervene at the time, and I didn’t know what to do about the knowledge for a good long while. I just told my supervisor yesterday, so action will be taken.
38. A Family Affair
My ex-wife slept with her sister’s husband on New Year’s Eve. The four of us know. That is it. The sisters sort of made up. I am just glad that I’m divorced from that family and the drama, and that I have the most amazing girlfriend now. We talk, we communicate very well....It is a mature adult relationship. Good riddance to their garbage.
39. A Rock and a Hard Place
I don’t think I want to marry my fiancé. We’ve been together for seven years, but I’m 22 and I don’t think I understood the seriousness or severity of marriage until recently. In fact, I cheated, but we decided to stay together. Still, though it hurts to say, I don’t think I want to put in the effort it will take to fix our relationship. Our wedding was pushed back, and I’m so grateful but terrified of ending it or being alone.
40. Save It for Later
I’ve told my husband this, and my mom knows, but nobody else. When I was seven, I pooped the bed in the middle of the night. Just like, a perfect log in my underwear. I was scared of getting in trouble, so I threw my underwear and poop behind the dresser in my bedroom and promptly forgot I did that. My mom found it two weeks later.
41. Kissing Cousins
I have two cousins who are married. The rest of the cousins were outraged and appalled when they decided to get married—which brought out the real secret. My aunts and uncles were all suddenly like, “Well, your grandparents were cousins, too.” To which most of us were again, even more concerned. The cousins are still married and trying to conceive.
42. This Kid’s Got Balls
I got a wooden ball stuck in my butt for a day. I went to school and stuff while it was there, and I was terrified it was going to be stuck forever and a doctor would have to get it out.
43. Change for a 20?
When I was younger, I would take coins from my parents slowly from wherever they had them. Then when I had enough, I would bring them to my dad and have them changed into paper bills. He would be so proud of me for saving coins, that he would buy me ice cream or sweet bread afterward. Now that I’m older, I think he knew.
44. Don’t Sleep and Drive
One night, I pulled off an all-nighter playing Call of Duty and went to college the next day. Needless to say, I was so exhausted and sleepy. While riding back from college, I fell asleep on my moped—and crashed into a bush. Luckily, I didn't hit another vehicle or get hurt. I was so embarrassed, I’ve never told anyone this.
45. The Stay-at-Home Secret
I've been telling my family I have a job when I actually quit my job in December last year. I had told them I got a different job, but in truth I haven't worked a "normal" job at all this year. I'm 100% financially stable, my husband is the breadwinner, and we agreed that it's just better for me not to have a "normal" job right now so I can focus on school and our kids.
46. Boy’s Best Friend
When he was still a little kid, my younger brother used to eat the dog’s food because he thought it would make him better friends with the dog. It got so routine, we began to leave a bowl out for him next to the dog bowl.
47. Waste Not, Want Not
As a student with a low-paying job as a waiter, I used to eat the food my customers didn't want after I took their plates to the kitchen.
48. Be Careful What You Wish for
Using the results of an ancestry DNA test, my mom found out that my great uncle was adopted…mid-Thanksgiving dinner. We have pretty casual dinners, so everyone was sitting around the room. I found it odd that my mom was on her laptop and not eating, so I slipped behind to peek over her shoulder...just in time to see the adoption paperwork. She’s never said anything and has no idea that I know.
49. Looking out for Number Two
My wife went out drinking with co-workers and ended up having a few too many. Like, I had to struggle to get her inside when she came home. Crying, puking, all that. It was a nightmare—and it wasn’t her first time doing this. So after putting her to bed, I got my revenge. I pooped on the driveway next to her car door. And then I upped the stakes.
The next morning, I told her she did it last night and that the neighbor had seen her do it. She found it going to work the next day. She has not gone out drinking since, and this was four years ago.
50. Body Horror
I was a TA for a human anatomy class. Part of my job was to prepare donor bodies for upcoming classes, and I would receive specific orders from the professor, which body part, what kind of class, etc. Well, one day, I dropped a human brain and put it back like nothing happened. Everyone was wondering what kind of head trauma that person had.