Whether you have just a single best friend or a group of friends, companionship can make a good life even better and bring us up out of the darkness when things get hard. But sometimes the people we think are our friends really aren’t. These Redditors share tales of times they found out their friends weren’t the people they thought.
1. The Sneaky Thief
One day, I had a bone-chilling realization—the stuff that I could never find was actually stolen.
I had a GREAT set of Bushnell Binoculars go missing. The case was where it was always hanging, then one day, my friend just took the binocs. She also took an heirloom necklace of mine (not valuable, just sentimental). and some stereo equipment I had stored.
She was good at picking up small stuff I didn't use daily since I wouldn't notice that they were missing right away. I assume they pawned it.
2. Getting Revenge
I had a pair of "friends" in middle school who took small stuff from me, ending with a big score while my family was out of town. The authorities caught them on camera cashing in our vacation change jar at a local gas station (it was a giant glass jar filled with quarters and stuff).
I didn't get everything returned to me by the authorities so I spent the night with one of the friends as a faux "I forgive you" gesture and grabbed everything of mine that the authorities weren't able to recover before I left.
3. False Friend Flatters For Flights
Anyone who works for an airline usually deals with false friends. As a flight attendant, I get 12 buddy passes a year. These are extremely cheap standby tickets that I can give out to anyone.
I'll often get a Facebook message every once in a while from someone I barely know that I haven't seen since high school: "Hey, buddy, how have you been? ...Listen, I need to get to...".
After a bad breakup once, I got an out-of-the-blue apology six months later, followed by fake small talk about how she was "so wrong".
I knew immediately what she wanted—and didn’t give it to her.
4. Two-Faced
I knew she was a bad friend when she spent 20 minutes ripping apart another girl. Then, when the girl entered the room, she spent another 20 minutes gushing about how they never hang out but they so need to, and she's so cute today.
It made me wonder how many times she did that to me.
5. A Little More Than Just A Bad Feeling
I walked in on my best friend and my fiance when I was six months pregnant.
Something just told me it was time to end that relationship.
6. Thirty Years Gone To Waste
We had a 30-year friendship and called each other brothers.
He was welcomed at the dinner table with 4 generations of my family, in all our homes.
One day he backed a truck up to my auto shop while I was in another county closing on my new farm, and robbed me blind.
7. Can’t Handle It
The minute my friends found out that my husband had cancer. I lost almost a dozen "friends" who couldn't handle it. They literally never called or came over; they just hid and avoided us like the plague.
The worst part? Most had been lifelong friends of both of ours and are in my wedding pics. A few came to the funeral, but never came over to me, out of shame I suppose? Who knows. I'm not sure they even have a sense of shame.
8. Only Liked The Money
When you lose your job, you know who your friends truly are. I never needed money during my year of unemployment, so there was no issue of me being a money sucker or a mooch. But those people who care about appearances sure bailed.
When I started working again and was (still am) making great coins, they reappeared. Screw them and those like them. I haven't let them back into my life and I am better for it.
My true friends helped me network, helped me practice interviewing and looked over my resume, etc. The folks who will be seen with you while you are down...they are your friends.
9. Had Ulterior Motives
My wife is quite a looker and I'm happy to say I punched way above my weight class when I married her. Unsurprisingly, with few exceptions, all of her male friends and best friends suddenly disappeared when we got serious.
Many deleted her off Skype, most unfriended her on Facebook, and they all stopped talking to her. She couldn't understand what she'd done wrong. It was only later that she realized that they were only "friends" with her because they thought they stood a chance. C'est la vie.
10. Not Dog’s Best Friend
She moved in with her boyfriend who didn't like dogs. At first, her two collies were locked in the basement and rarely taken for walks. Instead my “friend” would just spread newspaper on the floor and switch it out when it was saturated.
When the older of the two collies passed, the remaining dog was banished to a small corner of the backyard, chained to a doghouse. She didn't even go outside to feed the dog but threw food out of a window onto the ground. She also only went out every other day or so to refill the water dish and pick up poop.
She argued with me that all of the dog’s needs were taken care of and she was fine. I draw the line at harming an animal—no one who I call a friend treats an animal like that. That's when I stopped being her friend. We haven't had any contact since.
11. A Major Overreaction
I wanted to just lay off the Saturday night drinks so I could have a productive Sunday since I had lots of work to do. I explained this to my friend whom I drank with and she wasn't so happy with my answer. Her response threw me off-guard—she flipped out on me, making crazy accusations, and calling my husband to say I was "cheating" on him. Just to get back at me for wanting to get some work done. Yeah, logical response, huh?
12. Good Choice
I had this terrible friend throughout high school, who would constantly make digs about my appearance, social skills, and lack of boyfriends (I should have realized then, but I was an idiot and she was the only person I could really call a friend at all), etc.
When I did meet someone, she took an immediate dislike to him, even though he made me so happy and got me to open up and enjoy life more. She kept making fun of the fact I wanted to study hard to go to uni rather than stay in my terrible town forever.
The moment I realized was when we were hanging out and she said, “I think you should break up with John, he's not good for you and there's no way you'll be able to stay together throughout the university. Trust me, I know men and they're all the same”.
I realized that she was the one making me unhappy. I'm still with my boyfriend three years later.
13. Out Of Nowhere
My closest friend for years and years was supposed to be my best man. For a year leading up to the wedding, it was all good. All of a sudden, the day we went to get our tuxes, he didn't show up. He didn't return calls, texts, anything.
So I went by his place. His car was there but he didn't answer. His girlfriend told my then-fiance and me, "I told him to call you but he won't talk about it".
I've thought about it for years as to why, and there isn't a single thing, argument, or any situation I can think of that would have caused it. I haven't heard from him since. This was 12 years ago.
Fortunately, another friend who was in the party already stepped up and is my closest friend to date. It was a blessing in disguise considering the mess the first guy's life turned into.
Roman Samborskyi, Shutterstock
14. Trying To Control Them Both
After I set her up with my best friend at both their requests (big mistake), she tried to destroy our friendship and break up our big friendship group so she could manipulate us separately.
After I noticed the trend of her trashy behavior, I worked out she was a bit of a psycho.
It backfired on her. Everyone stopped being friends with her and now my best friend and I are even better friends than before.
15. Lost Wife And Friends
My marriage started falling apart. Suddenly, everyone acted like I went crazy, and they acted as if my unhappiness meant I wasn't committed. Everything changed with a single decision I made one day—when I kicked my wife out, they all seemed to forget about me and that sealed it.
I have one friend from that period I still talk to. One.
In fairness to my friends, the one friend I kept was also the only one who knew, day in and day out, what was going on. For most everyone else, we kept up appearances. And yes, I realize it is a lot to ask people to cope with such new information. For instance, none of them knew we had been going to therapy. So, yeah, of course, it came as a shock. But I was surprised when everyone just thought I had lost my mind. And, for the record, none of them are friends with her now, either.
As far as why I was unhappy—it really came down to selfishness. There were enormous problems"in the bedroom", but as we went to therapy, we began to peel the layers one by one: I was the only one who ever had a job (I paid for us both even while I was in grad school, dropped out of grad school to get insurance, and held between 2 and 4 jobs throughout our time together.) I had to do all the driving, even on multi-day road trips; I did the work around the house; I took care of anything that had to be on the phone.
But, whenever I needed something, it was easier for her not to deal with it. And yeah, I should have been calling her on it and should have been making demands. I certainly played a role in all this too.
What I have learned most of all: don't judge how people have handled their life crises. They have spent FAR more time thinking about it than you, and they know everything that happened. Being on the wrong side of that made me realize how hurtful it is to be judged like that, and also how bad it made those people look.
16. Out Of Sight, Out Of Mind
I moved 12 hours away. When I come back to visit, there are two or three couples that are excited to see me and actively make plans for me to stay with them.
The rest of my friends (some of whom I always thought would be my bridesmaids one day) either won't respond to my messages or cancel even the smallest of plans.
It was an eye opener.
17. Cowardly Tim
The first group of friends I ever had (I was bullied a lot before this). There were three of them. Let's say they're called Jim, Jack, and Tim.
Tim was very popular and everyone liked him, Jim was a massive nerd, and Jack was a jerk to me. I stuck around for a year before I discovered why Jack hated me.
It turned out Tim had asked him to be a jerk to me so that I would leave and he wouldn't look bad for driving me away. It also turned out Jack was a nice guy and we became good friends.
I haven't seen Tim in ages but I'm still in infrequent contact with Jack and Jim, both of whom are utterly awesome.
Monkey Business Images, Shutterstock
18. Abandoned On The Street
When I went to visit my friend at college during her freshman year; a six-hour trip and a $150 bus ticket.
First, she mocked me in front of her friends because I was taking an intro art course, one which she said she took "in like 9th grade". Then she took me out downtown (about a ten-minute cab ride from her dorm) to a party at her boyfriend's apartment.
She promptly ignored me most of the night, then decided that she wanted to go to bed with her boyfriend. She told me that she'd meet me back at her dorm later and that it should be no problem to find my way back on my own.
It took me a good hour and a half to find my way back, as this was NOT a very safe area, and no cab companies would pick me up. She showed up way later, didn't apologize, and just went along like she did nothing wrong the next day.
I don't speak to her much anymore, besides occasional polite conversation.
19. Nothing To Brag About Now
I had known this girl since I was 13. We became best friends over many years. As we got into our twenties, I noticed she'd only come around a lot when her life was going well. She'd rub it in how great things were for her, especially if things were not so great for me.
Now that she's getting divorced and her life is not so great, she won't talk to me. I realize people don't always socialize when they're down and maybe she's feeling some shame about her life right now.
But here's a key point that should be noted—we made two different life choices. I chose to be a stay-at-home mom and wife; she took a more adventurous route in the music industry. But on more than one occasion she has hinted that my life choices were not as good as hers since I don't hang out with famous people, go backstage at every concert, or go out and party all night.
She stays away until she's hooked up with the next "he was famous somewhere 10 years ago" guy or she's been promised this great job that never happens. I just got tired of feeling like I was competing in a contest I didn't care about. I do miss my friend, but I don't miss what she turned into over the past six years.
20. Learned At A Young Age
I had a very close set of friends from the beginning of junior high to high school (grades 6-12).
I started to feel like unless I called them and asked what they were doing or if they wanted to hang out, then I might not ever get invited over.
So, I told my mom about how I felt and she said to try not calling your friends for the next two weeks and see if any of them bother to call you and invite you over.
I didn't call and neither did they.
21. That Was Quick
My wife and I were together for 13 years. I was madly, deeply in love. One Christmas night, she told me that she had feelings for one of my best friends.
Upon finding out that my wife told me that she had feelings for him, my "friend" kicked his wife and 4-year-old daughter, who is also my godchild, out of their house the day after Christmas. My wife left the next day as well.
My 5-year-old son and I are improving and making a stronger bond. My wife has not completely deserted us, but she's not around much. Here's the kicker. My wife wants me to be friendly with my old pal so that we can all get along. I know I'm not the only one this has happened to, but that's when I realized that my friend wasn't my friend.
22. Can’t Blame The Girls
I went to a bar and two girls came over to me and my three friends. And one of the girls hit it off, the other girl hit it off with my other friend (nice guy), and the two other friends just sort of looked a bit uncomfortable but joined in conversations and didn't appear angry to me.
During the conversation, it came up that the girls were not drinking. One girl's father was a chronic alcoholic so she had a real thing about drinking. The other girl was tee-total as a gesture of support for her friend. I thought it was great.
So then I went to get a drink and my friend went to the bathroom. We left the girls with our two other friends, expecting them to just keep the conversation going without us.
We came back and the girls were gone, so we asked where they were and were told they'd gone to the bathroom. The two friends chuckled to each other then went off to dance or something (can't quite remember why they slipped off).
The girls suddenly appeared from nowhere and one of them slapped me. The other threw her drink over my buddy. We had no idea what was going on. The security guys at the door waded in and the girls told them that we spiked their drinks and the reason they know we spiked their drinks is that they tasted the alcohol and our two 'friends' told them it was us.
We were thrown out of the bar into the night and the pouring rain. Later, it turned out the pair had spiked the drinks because the girls 'were annoying'. They saw nothing wrong with any of it and were unrepentant.
Never hung out with those jerks again, but unfortunately still saw them regularly enough as they were part of our circle of friends.
23. The Popular Crowd
I used to play football in high school and I started hanging out with the "popular" crowd. I started drinking A LOT more, as well as doing other illicit substances. I was a really good student (I was going to my local state school for college classes ever since I was a sophomore), but I was skipping class, never doing assignments, and generally throwing my potential down the drain.
One day early in my senior year, I realized I had to stop drinking because I didn't want to turn into an addict like my dad. Long story short, I stopped going to parties, fires, get-togethers, etc. because I knew I wouldn't be able to handle the temptation. That's when it all changed. Instead of being understanding of my reasons for quitting that lifestyle, my friends pretty much abandoned me and treated me like a pariah for the rest of my senior year because I had supposedly gone anti-social.
I never have been able to reconnect with the friends I used to have before these "popular" jerks, and it sucks. My stupidity with school cost me a chance of getting enough scholarship money to go to my school of choice for college. Even worse, it affected my college GPA, pretty much costing me a chance at my dream law school, Harvard. Never hang out with friends that make you a worse person.
24. Doing Some Self-Reflection
When my long-term relationship ended, all of 'our' friends were suddenly no longer my friends. After nearly a year, I met with several of them one-on-one and asked why.
It turned out I had not acted as a good friend for a long time and they were too polite to let me know when I kept breaking friendship rules of which I was unaware. They wanted to keep my partner's friendship instead. The hardest thing: I asked them questions to find out how I had messed up and what I should have done.
Apparently, there are many lessons during school years that most folks learn outside the classroom and I was oblivious. Then I read books about friendship and social rules and practiced consciously with new people that I decided were worth the effort.
I may be somewhere on the Asperger's scale because, even after years, I am not able to just internalize these social 'rules' and many just don't 'make sense' to me—behaviors that annoy most people don't annoy me if someone does them to me. So I figure practicing social skills is, for me, like studying physics is for other people: some things are true based on the evidence in the results even if my brain cannot grasp how they seem to work.
25. Everyone Sucks Here
A guy started a fight with me. I wrestled him to the ground and had him pinned. My friend stood and did nothing as his friend then said, "I'm going to end this", walked up to me, and kicked me in the head. Then, rather than taking me to the hospital because I had been in and out of consciousness for hours, my so-called friends drove me home in my car and left me in the driveway.
I never have reconciled it.
26. She’s Not Interested In You
The day I admitted to my best friend that I, a woman, was attracted to women.
She looked at me with horror and said, "Oh my god! We shared a bed! I changed in front of you"! She then turned around and walked away. She hasn't spoken to me since.
That was 10 years ago. I found out who my true friends were that year.
27. The Alien
10 years ago now, I was a raver. I did a lot of illicit substances and spent three or four nights a week at raves or other electronic music events dancing, or reviewing/photographing gigs. I could walk into pretty much any one of 20 venues, any night of the week, and know a few dozen people. I had dozens of close 'friends'.
I eventually burned out on the illicit substances. The impact they were having on my life was more negative than positive and the come-downs were brutal, and lasted much, much longer than the highs. I dropped out of the scene for a few weeks, got clean, and went back out to see my 'friends', straight and sober.
From that moment on, things were starkly different. I was a bit astonished to find out that the rumor was that I had passed. None of my 'friends' had cared enough to find out. Most of them didn't know my real name, and very few had my phone number or even an email address or contact information other than my user name on a forum we all used (and that I hadn't been active on while trying to stay clear of the gear). Despite the belief that I might have passed, nobody had gone to any effort to find out.
For the first time ever, I had a major epiphany about my friends—I discovered that I had nothing at all in common with them. Absolutely nothing. Talking to them was brutally painful. It was like talking to intellectually challenged children who had a different primary language.
Some of that I'm sure was my bad mood from getting clean. But a lot of it? Most of it was because junkies are aliens. I'd been so absorbed in my use that I hadn't noticed how much of an alien I'd been, or how much of an alien my friends were.
I tried a few more times to hang out with those people. But I'd lost interest in being an alien. I had a few relapses, but I fundamentally just wasn't getting what I needed from illicit substances anymore. Without the illicit substances, it was increasingly clear that we weren't, and had never been, actual friends. We were just all so self-absorbed with our own experiences that we'd all mistaken the people we were standing next to for friends.
28. A Happy Ending
The person I was dating for two years told me that our "friends" had secretly hated me all along. They had also been harassing her the entire time to leave me. When it finally worked and she dumped me, I had no one to turn to save for one friend.
It's been a year since then and not only have I found new friends, but I've grown to do and see amazing things and become an all-around pretty cool person. At least, I like to believe so.
I found a new friend group by kind of forcing myself to. I spent a couple of months being pretty severely depressed (finding out the people you trusted the most actually thought you were a terrible person helps in that) and sought professional help. I got to see the psychiatrist at my school and after a couple sessions, I started talking to some classmates more and interacting with the few friends I had left. It was hard to try and start trusting people again but it worked, and it kind of snowballed from there.
29. How To Know A True Friend
I knew these people in college. They would drive out to the ocean on long weekends in college, and drink, shoot pool, and swim all day at one of their parent's beach houses. They would laugh, carve things, take photos, and NEVER invite me.
So one Friday, I asked if I could come along. They looked away uncomfortably and told me that the car was full. Yeah, right. They had three cars and only twelve people.
It was at this moment that I had an epiphany: Were these people my friends? The more I thought about it, the more I wondered. They laughed at my jokes, I ate with them often, and we seemed to get along great, but I was never invited anywhere, and I'd have to catch them for dinner as they left; they'd never come to my room or text me.
But how to find out? Well, I decided to test our "friendship" with a simple little experiment. I decided to not speak again in the group for the next three weeks until someone said something to me, and not do anything with them unless I was invited/texted/etc.
And that was it. In all those weeks, no one said anything to me, and when I stopped showing up to dinner, I didn't even get so much as a single text from ANY of them.
It was then that I made the terrifying (at the time) decision to completely abandon this group of so-called friends and find an entirely new group of people to hang out with. It took an entire year of college, but through a few clubs, I ended up meeting the coolest people I'd ever met in my life, and discovering that, when people cared what I had to say and invited me places, I was HAPPY.
One night they were planning a massive party (and invited me) but I found out a week before that I would be out of town that week on a family trip. When I texted them, they MOVED THE ENTIRE PARTY over a week just so I could attend.
This is what actual friendship is. You don't have to chase friends around to hang out with them. Ever.
30. Never Getting Over That
I was in sixth grade back when Xanga was popular. I had one of the anonymous "Confessional" boxes or whatever they called it, and I started getting mean messages in it. These messages were calling me ugly and telling me I have no friends, typical jerk stuff.
And then I realized that it was my "friends" that were writing it.
I kept hanging out with them because it was a small school and I didn't have another choice, but to this day, I have trust issues and refuse to get too close to people.
31. This Is Just Evil
I have distanced myself from my family.
My cousin had been trying to get pregnant for 10+ years. She set me up to take my daughter away from me.I don't speak to my father or his wife because they are heavy drinkers. They were angry that I was moving two hours away.
I had to go to Vegas for three days to work at an arcade convention. I asked my cousin if she could babysit while I worked because she seemed to love my daughter. She said yes.
As soon as I left the state, they totally went behind my back—they filed to take temporary custody of her, stating that I had left the state, abandoned my daughter, and that I was not coming back.
Three days later, I got back to find out everything that had happened and that I could not see my daughter until we went to court. I was never served properly with papers other than the ones stating that I had to appear on a date and that I had abandoned her.
Later, I found out that my dad and stepmother had written declarations, along with my cousin. What they wrote was just plain awful.They stated that my cousin had been taking care of my daughter for over a year and that I had abandoned her and not taken care of her because I was too busy partying and drinking all the time. I'm a nerdy board gamer whose idea of a partying is watching Star Wars and playing Catan.
None of this was true, but because I had just ended a job, and had just finished a lease, and was subletting a room until my new apartment was open, they presented that as I was "jobless and homeless".
It's almost a year later and I'm paying thousands of dollars to fight to get her back. It's the most infuriating thing in the universe for me. I can't get married to my boyfriend because it would jeopardize the case since he lives out of the country. We've already paid around $3,000 for our lawyer. We owe another $5,000 and we're not even a third of the way to trial.
By the end of all of this, I'm looking at easily $15,000. It's infuriating. I cry all the time. I don't understand how or why the burden of proof is on me. What's even worse is I have to see a psychiatrist to prove I'm not crazy. I have to take regular tests to prove I'm not on anything, which I haven't been able to afford yet because it's $500 to $800 for a full analysis. I pay my lawyer $800+ a month.
I still buy my daughter new clothes, diapers, and toys all the time. I have my place, I have a career, and my daughter is my world. It's the most devastating thing to ever happen to me.
32. A Sudden Realization
In middle school, we were an odd group of four guys, including me. Main guy: Dave. Second guy: Peter. Third guy: Brian. We were all in band class together.
Peter followed Dave around like a puppy and didn't have a backbone. Brian was an overweight kid. He didn’t have many other friends that I remember. He hung out with Dave and Peter because he could, I guess.
I was similar to Brian. Not as chubby, but not many other friends.
We were on a trip to Busch Gardens in Tampa in the early 90s. I remember we were waiting to get onto the skylift. Dave said something about not wanting to get on with Brian because he didn't want the cable car to fall. He didn't say it to me, but I remember realizing for the first time, "I don't want to be around this person".
I stopped hanging out with them during that trip and afterward. I realized I'd rather be alone than around jerks. Peter and Brian were okay guys, but they were collateral losses.
33. Online Friends Are Real Friends
My parents separated when I was in year 8 and I held all my emotions in because I had two younger siblings to be a model for. In year 10 I fell apart and plummeted into depression, and ended up not going to school for days then weeks at a time.
My "friends" just thought I was getting out of school because it was too hard and I was lazy. They didn't listen when I tried to explain myself and harassed me on Facebook and Xbox Live every day. I eventually cut ties and moved on.
During this time my escape was my Xbox; I played Battlefront 3 a lot and eventually was invited to a clan. My clanmates were the best bunch of guys I ever met and most of them felt like older brothers to me. It probably saved me from sinking deeper into depression.
Aleksandar Malivuk, Shutterstock
34. An Even Worse Kind Of Break-Up Text
After being friends for the last couple of years in high school and the first semester of college, my best friend told me that we were never friends.
To make matters worse, he communicated that message to me via text. During a couple of years we hung out, my parents were in the middle of separation and divorce. It was my first year of college. I was getting used to different living arrangements, as was he, and I even helped him move and let him use my Wi-Fi when his strict parents had a cut-off time. We did a lot for each other.
He started hanging out with a girl from his work more and more until after bugging him enough, I finally got the series of texts rejecting me. I still have them. I looked at them today. I was hurt and don't think I will find a better friend. I guess I'm a sap for thinking that I would try to make things okay again if he contacted me.
35. The Selfish Friend
I broke up with a friend. I helped her get a business off the ground doing freelance work for free that she would have otherwise paid a lot for. She and her husband were supposed to trade a few things for it—mostly a little handyman-type work on the husband's part. No cost to them, just the time to do it. I bought all the supplies needed. That never happened.
That left me annoyed. However, the final nail in the friendship coffin was listening to her talk about the same problems over and over, trying to be supportive and without judgment. During our last conversation, I talked about a relationship issue I was having. She didn't approve and gave me a bit of an attitude.
I was supportive for years through her junk…and she couldn't do the same for me. I just needed someone to talk to.
Thanks, girlie, for proving that you are a selfish person and took advantage of my kindness for years. And you wonder why none of your friends want to hang out anymore.
36. That’s A Flimsy Excuse
We went out clubbing. Afterward, we stopped at a diner to pee. It was a long line and I was last in line.
I came out of the bathroom and thought they might have gotten a table, so I walked around the restaurant. It took me about 30 seconds.
I didn't see them so I went outside, and found they were already driving out of the parking lot. I didn't have a phone or money so I had to walk home seven miles.
I talked to my main "friend" the next day. He said, "We saw someone who looked just like you getting into a taxi".
So they just left.
37. Didn’t Care About Anything But Himself
He and I went on our birthright trip (Jews get a free trip to Israel after 18 but before 26) together, and from the start everything was about him. Any time we had free time we had to do what he wanted, any time we roomed together we had to do our sleep routines the way he wanted, any time we got to pick a restaurant he picked, and there was a bunch of other stuff.
The event that opened my eyes was our group was hiking up a mountain, and I passed out when we got to the top. They took me on a lift down to the bottom where they checked me out and I rested and rehydrated. The docs gave me the okay so I just sat and waited for my group.
My group started arriving one or two at a time, and every single person came up to me to check on me. Finally, my friend walked in, didn't even look my way, just went and got himself a drink and sat down at another table. He didn’t even give me a nod. Every other person checked on me, all total strangers, and my best friend couldn’t even be bothered to waste a nod on me.
That was the moment I realized he was a selfish jerk, and after we came back we “drifted” apart.
38. Living Well Is The Best Revenge
Back when I was in middle school, I started getting secret admirer letters in my locker. The letters spoke of how great my new haircut was and how good my new clothes looked (I was trying to make a cool new look for myself at the time). As a chubby kid who hadn't even neared puberty yet, this was incredible to me. I showed them to all my friends on the bus, and they were very encouraging.
Cut to a few days later. I got the reveal in the next letter that they were from a girl I'd had a crush on for a while. I brought the letter on the bus, so excited to show all my friends.
After showing them and telling them how all my dreams were coming true,I could see in their faces that something was off.One friend just couldn't stop laughing. It was then that he revealed that they were all fake and that all of my "friends" took turns writing the letters and putting them in my locker.
As devastating as this event was at the time, I learned that I shouldn't care about changing my appearance to impress people. I ended up becoming more of an individual than those guys ever did. I'm also one of the few to get out of that town in the middle of nowhere and do something with my life.
39. Brothers In Arms
I've had the same circle of friends since middle school. When I deployed to Afghanistan, I was as good as nonexistent. No letters, no Facebook messages, no answered calls...nothing.
Fast forward to leaving, we hung out only one night and I had to bribe them to do it. I had deployment money so everything was on me that night. I even gave $200 of spending money to my friend Andy (who I thought was my best friend) because he was "low on funds" and didn't want to go. Heck, one of them lived two houses down from me and couldn't be bothered.
Even better,my girlfriend of five years left me two months into the deployment. She changed her number, moved to Brooklyn, messed around, drank heavily, and did illicit substances.
As far as family, my only comfort was my mother who sent me things, answered my calls, and responded to my letters and messages. Also, my cousin Diohny who was training up to do his tour in Afghanistan would contact me from time to time. I was in a world of hurt and betrayal.
I'm lucky enough to have a close group of brothers who were in Afghanistan with me. I still kind of hang around with my old friends out of the fact that I truly love them and would still be there for them if they needed anything. Though I can feel the disconnect when we do hang out. My true friends are those that I deployed with. As an Infantryman, I would carry you through the flames, flesh burned to the bone. We are brothers now and forever.
40. What A Jerk
I was poor and in college. I had the flu bad one week and asked my friend (he lived in a dorm across the hall) to go to the convenience store in the dorm lobby and get me something to drink and he could get whatever for himself too.
He got me my soda and himself $40 worth of snacks. I didn’t notice at the time and I ordered us a pizza. He knew it was all I was going to have to eat for the next few days, and he snuck into my room and ate the leftovers while I was passed out on cold medicine.
I didn’t even really know how to respond. Like, I was already buying him snacks and feeding him. He had a meal plan on campus (I didn’t). Why act like that?
41. Not Wanted
"Friends" I used to hang out with in high school. One of the group had been a good friend of mine since we were young even though we went to different schools. It was his house the others always hung out in, so I was kind of grandfathered into his new friend group from his school.
I always felt a little unwelcome just because of little things. They'd be playing video games, passing the controller, and I was always last if I got a turn at all. If someone brought food or something to share, I would always get the least of it. I brought things to share more than anyone, so it wasn't like I was a big mooch or something. And they frequently made plans outside of my buddy's house to which I was never invited, but then they'd openly talk about it in front of me later.
What hit it home was one time I was hanging out there, and found out they were all planning on going into the city for a concert or something. They straight up told me I wasn't invited, which I shrugged off because I didn't have money for it anyway.
But then their ride fell through and I offered to drive them. They treated that like it was the absolute worst case scenario, and also like if they were to accept my offer they'd be somehow doing me a favor.
I told them to forget it. Message received. I left and never talked to them again. None of them ever tried to contact me again either. But it was only my childhood friend that I was disappointed in. I thought for sure he'd at least check in after that devastating interaction.
But that was many many years ago. Thankfully I have much better friends now.
42. The Bad Memories Overpower
I was in a "friend" group like this in middle school. I just existed to be their punching bag. If they weren't belittling me, then I wasn't included. They made fun of quite literally everything they could think of.
At the top of their list of favorite things to make fun of me for wasmy family being poor. My family wasn't well off, that was true. But these weren't a bunch of spoiled rich kids. Their families were only slightly better off than mine.
I remember one instance in particular. We were on a field trip. It was lunchtime and I had brought lunch with me because I wasn't given money. My "friends'' wanted to get hot dogs, and I went to tag along because I thought they were my friends. The leader of the group (also the one who perpetrated the harassment the most, and was the most relentless) asked me what I was tagging along for, I wouldn't be able to afford anything anyway.
But the worst thing they ever did? They started a fake rumor that I was gay (this was 2010 to 2011, so being gay was still seen as bad). They carried this rumor onto high school and that's really where it got out of hand. At one point I was being anonymously harassed regularly, being called homophobic slurs all because these jerks decided they wanted to make my life suck.
Sure, I had a few good memories with them but the bad outweighs the good a thousandfold.
43. A Stinging Betrayal
I was going through a ugly breakup that left me at a very low point in my life. I was getting a lot of advice from my best friend on the whole situation. I told him that it would take time for me to get over her, as it was a relationship of over two years.
Three days after the breakup I checked Snap Maps and saw that my so-called best friend was at my ex’s apartment. It was two in the morning. He initially lied about it but then admitted to hooking up with her. I started crying over the phone and he said, “I just want you to know that I’m sorry this is hurting you but I’m going to continue doing this with her”.
I lost my best friend of 22 years over that. It’s crazy to me that one day, a friend who was a brother to me, just snapped and ignored me in a dark state of mind just so he could get into bed with someone.
44. Like A Human Security Blanket
All we ever talked about was her—how she hated being single, who she dated, how jealous she was of other people with partners. She skipped my dad's funeral. She ignored my housewarming party. She'd ignore me for weeks at a time, then suddenly call me up crying because she got dumped.
I drove her to surgery and sat waiting to drive her home. I watched her kids. I sat through a hundred weepy nights.
Then she found a relationship. I have seen her only once in the past nine months (because I invited her to get together) and haven't heard from her in three. I guess she must be happy now, and doesn't need me to be a shoulder to lean on.
She wasn't ever interested in being a friend to me. I was just someone to cheer her up when she was feeling down.
45. A Total Lack Of Respect
There was this girl I was dating. I liked her. At one point I introduced her to a really good friend of mine. Let's say his name was Bill because that's what it was.
Fast forward a few days. I was out on a date with that girl. She asked me what I thought about Bill. I told her he was a good friend of mine. She told me he was bad news, that he'd asked her out. Mind you, it's not like we were in high school or anything; we were adults. She'd told him she wasn't interested, that he ‘obviously had honesty/loyalty issues and wasn't a fit person to associate with at all, in any way, for anybody’.
He knew I liked her a lot. He did it anyway. I haven't spoken to him since.
46. Taking A Good Look At Yourself
I'd have to say, for me, it's been the reverse. It took time, but I've come to realize that I've been a complete jerk to every one of my good friends.
My good friend was staying in a small trailer in the backyard of his parent's place. He invited me to come to crash with him. I had a spot in the trailer. His folks were kind to me and let me shower and got me out a towel and they fed me.
I didn't do anything to contribute during my time there. I got peeved that my friend would listen to rock music while he slept. It legitimately made me angry. I had no right to be angry and should've been grateful to have a bed to sleep in at night, not to mention everything else being provided for me without asking for anything in return. It's moments like these that serve as a reminder to me of how selfish I once was.
I've also been the kind of person who likes to be contradictory, sometimes to the point of being practically combative. I was with another good friend of mine, and for some reason, I decided I was gonna go on some spiel about how meaningless words are to the point that I decided I would illustrate by calling him a slur. And I tried to convince him that he shouldn't be upset as I continued to call him a slur over and over and over again. I mean, incessantly not stopping.
He was red in the face, but he said nothing to me except to not do that, which I ignored. I now realize I was an awful person for that. I was his friend, not his...counselor or priest or whatever I thought I was. A friend should be able to seek comfort in friendship, and here I was trying to play some "holier than thou" mindset that was just abusive.
I used to take pride in being difficult to work with, being difficult to understand, in being "an acquired taste" of a human being because that meant I wasn't some conforming, two-faced, flaky person like the ignorant masses. I said what I meant and I meant what I said. Unfortunately, everything that I meant was vapid and narrow and churlish. I'm still very much a person in need of improvement–in every facet of my life–but I certainly have no intention of repeating past mistakes, and I hope to be better to be around for anyone I would call a friend.
47. Stay Bitter Forever
My son was born sick, very sick. He remained on a breathing tube in the hospital for seven months before we even knew he would live. He had heart surgeries, brain scans, and all kinds of tests.
My so-called friend asked me to lunch one day in the middle of all this and asked me how things were going. Then the selfish jerk began telling me how thankful he was that it didn't happen to his kid. He was telling me how great it was to watch his kid learn to walk, talk, etc., and ended with, “Thank God it isn't me". I saw red.
So I went back to work and then he and a bunch of other friends started sharing pictures of their kids, with me and my wife on the email, everybody celebrating how great it was to have healthy, happy kids.
It was incredibly selfish and hurtful at a time when all we needed was support and a hug. I haven't seen any of those jerks ever since that day three years ago. Yes, I am still bitter.
48. Not How You Repay Kindness
My best friend of 30 years got a girl pregnant at 21. They got married and had a baby. He got mad at someone at work and walked out, with a newborn at home.
My stepdad hired him, even though he didn’t have any skills. He worked there for a long time. He learned well, did a great job, got promoted often, and was paid well.
Then COVID happened. My stepdad filed for some PPP. In the course of the paperwork, they found out a blood-boiling truth. My best friend–who had been treated like a son (better than me at times)--had embezzled roughly $100k over three or so years.
He’s not my best friend anymore.
49. Only Thinking Of Herself
My dad passed in 2016. After hospital bills and the like were paid, there was $15,000 and a ten-year-old car left.
My sister and I talked it over and decided I'd get the car and she'd get the cash. It was a BIG help as I'd recently been diagnosed with several autoimmune disorders. I needed a reliable vehicle to drive to the various doctor appointments out of town.
My friend came over one day and she had asked what was going on with my dad's estate. I told her the agreement my sister and I came to.
She got quiet for several seconds and then with venom dripping she said, "Well I wish MY dad gave me a car. I've got kids to drive around".
It took everything I had to bite my tongue and not tell her, "Well, maybe one day your dad will pass and YOU'LL get a car".
50. Found A Real Friend
In college, my sister came to visit (we are twins). We had some drinks in my dorm room with some of my friends. I was busy playing party host and did not notice my "friend" leaving with my sister back to his dorm room.
Someone told me a few minutes later and I opened my door. I was greeted by a guy I sort of knew from some classes, walking down the hallway with my sister slung over his shoulder and dragging my unconscious, bleeding "friend" by his shirt collar.
Our dorm was two separate dorms connected by a joint lobby and cafeteria and this guy had been walking through the lobby coming home from work. He’d seen my "friend" dragging my sister over to his dorm room.
He got physical with my “friend” and dragged his unconscious body to my dorm room door. We instantly became best friends. We roomed together every year after that, joined the Army together, and fought in Iraq and Afghanistan together.
As for the "friend", we spent every weekend for the next four years peeing on plates, freezing them, and sliding them under his dorm room/apartment door.
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