Should “lie detection” be a course in medical school? These doctors, nurses, and EMTs might think so. From the pill-hungry fakers to those who swear that “I don’t know how that got up there!”, some patients will spin any yarn to get what they want from the doc. From meds to attention, or just plain more time, patients can go to outrageous ends to get what they want. Luckily, these pros knew better. Call an ambulance to these wacky stories about the weirdest lies told to doctors.
1. Give Me Some Sugar
In college, my roommate (who I wasn't particularly close to) showed up in our room stumbling around tipsy. There had been a home football game, so I didn't think anything of it. An hour later she's acting dangerously intoxicated, but insisted that she didn't have anything to drink, so I decide to take her to the ER.
Turns out she's diabetic and didn't think that was an important detail to mention to the doctors at any point in the three hours we sat there. The doctor only realized it when her blood tests came back, although she admitted that she's known for years and took daily insulin shots (that she also never told them about). Honestly...
2. No Way Baby
Had a patient fake a ruptured ectopic pregnancy to get narcotics. Says she was diagnosed with an ectopic at another hospital and given medication to end it. Came into our hospital in extreme abdominal pain, rolling around, yelling, had vaginal bleeding, the whole nine yards. Gave her a bunch of pain medication so we could get an ultrasound. The results were chilling.
Ultrasound showed nothing. Urine pregnancy test showed nothing. Beta HCG was 0. Turns out she was conveniently on her period which made the whole thing very convincing. Got records from the other hospital, patient had been there yesterday but was not pregnant for them, nor was she diagnosed with an ectopic pregnancy. Definitely was a "wow she just made up this entire thing".
We had a lovely conversation about all the results. She ended up screaming at me, threatening to sue me for all I'm worth and stormed out. Joke's on her I'm worth -200K of student loan debt.
3. Shaking the Truth Out
EMS here. Had a patient start seizing in front of the authorities after they were pulled over for possible inebriated driving. We get there and the patient is still on and off seizing. We get them on the stretcher and in the back of the ambulance, surprisingly the cop joins us. As I take their arm, the shakes start up again, so I tell them, “Yo, if you want this medication, I need you to stop so I can start and IV real quick..". His response was hilarious.
Patient stops to let me start the line, and once I say I’m done, they start back up.
4. A Prescription to Be Impolite
I'm a hearing aid dispenser in a private practice. A patient comes in for a hearing test; young guy in his mid-twenties, which is already unusual. Main issue is that he's getting noise complaints about his music. Huh. No issues with his ears physically, so I do the hearing test—basically ends up with profound hearing loss.
Weird because that's basically sign-language territory there. I walk behind him and ask him what his plans are for the evening, to which he responds appropriately. Definitely what we call a "non-organic hearing loss". He was trying to get the results he wanted to justify being a jerk of a neighbor. Pretty strange lengths to go to just for that.
5. Take a Deep Breath and Sit up
I had an employee tell me their spine couldn't stay straight. When they tried to sit up, they'd flop to the left or right. Followed that up with telling me, they found out that this was due to one of their lungs being deflated. You know...because your lungs hold your spine straight. But the highlight for me came much later than this.
When he finally quit, he said he "just wasn't about that cubicle life".
6. The Long Arm of the Doc
So, my mom is a doctor. She told me this story of a woman who came in and said she had seizures and as a result she couldn’t move her arms. So, my mom tested her arms and tried to push it and see if she would react. This lady was the worst liar. She kept resisting and trying to keep her arm in place since she couldn’t “move” it.
My mom had to control herself from laughing and told the woman that she needed to relax. She then left the room and discharged the patient.
7. Seize the Day
Patient came in with "seizures,” nonspecific weakness, lightheadedness, and numbness/tingling in her hands and feet. She gets admitted because of some electrolyte issues (not related to the neuro symptoms, these were corrected later, and symptoms persisted). Sure enough, on the second day she's there, she "seizes".
As soon as the diazepam is pushed (before the flush is even in), she stops seizing. This happens again three hours later. The third time while she was seizing, we came up with an ingenious plan. We took her hand and tried to drop it on her face twice. Both times she moved her hand out of the way so it wouldn't smack herself in the face.
We just stood there until she got tired of shaking. It took about five minutes. She left a few hours later.
8. Because You’re Mine, I Walk the Line
EMT. I was getting the patient to take him to the doctor. I asked him if he could stand. The wife told me he hasn’t walked in 30 years. Lo and behold, The dude stands up unassisted and walks to the stretcher. I’ve been in this work a long time and simply don’t give a darn about a lot of stuff. So I blurt out exactly what's on my mind".
HOLY MOLY, ITS A MIRACLE!!" I say. I was prepared to get in trouble.... never happened...
9. Hear Me out on My Hobbies
I've tested the hearing of a few kids (like 10-12 years old) pretending to be deaf in one ear. All you do is turn on your microphone and talk in the "deaf" ear at a quiet level and ask them a question about something they care about. Like young boys, for example, ALWAYS fall for it when you ask them, "What video games do you play?" at 20 decibels. Works every time.
10. Drowning in Consequence
"I don't drink a lot of water". The patient was drinking 21 bottles of water a day and was making herself hyponatremic (low sodium in the blood). She was basically diluting herself. This can lead to lethargy, seizures, death. The medical diagnosis is called psychogenic polydipsia.
11. The Truth in My Veins
Patient presented with unrelated complaints, but on the standard intake for our clinic we were supposed to ask whether the patient used any injected substances in the last month. He was wearing a short-sleeved shirt. As I asked, he looked down at his arms, exposing his numerous "track marks" on his arms. He then looked up at me, crossed his arms, and proudly stated: "Nope, never".
12. So Much for Man’s Best Friend
I’m a veterinarian and people do the same stuff. Dog comes obviously intoxicated with something and you ask if he could have possibly consumed “X” drug (depending on the dog’s symptoms) and people don’t want to admit anything. I don’t care what you do to yourself, have at it, but don’t let the dog suffer by not being honest and preventing or at the very least delaying appropriate treatment.
13. I Ensure You I’m Not Okay
I had a lady in the hospital who was several days post OP and met all criteria for discharge, but she didn't want to leave. This can be a somewhat difficult situation, because you want to maintain a good relationship with your patient, but at the same time can't inappropriately use hospital resources. I told her that if there's no medical necessity, insurance could deny payment.
I couldn't believe her reply. She said: "Oh, my health insurance agent was just up here, and he said I should stay another day". I just stared at her for a minute since I have never seen an insurance representative in the hospital, and don't even know if health insurance agents exist. She then admitted that she just made that up.
14. A Narrow Path Between Truth and Lies
Not a doctor, but I was an ER scribe. I would follow the doctors around with a laptop and do all of their electronic charting, ordering tests, note taking, and stuff like that. Had a patient, probably around 18-20-year-old male. Complaining of a foreign object in his…male organ. He had a set of iPhone headphones stuck right up in there.
And when I say stuck up there, I mean all the way to where the single cord splits in two for the two earbuds. Out of precaution we did an x-ray and sure enough, you could see the knotted-up cord in his lower abdomen, and it was going to require surgery to remove due to it being tangled. When he told us the "true" story, I was astounded.
He said that he was at a party with some friends and that when he got hammered and passed out, his friends shoved it up there as a joke. But this was a lie. The doctor I was working with had seen this guy for the same kind of thing not long ago. She recognized there was a bigger issue and convinced him to have an in-patient psych consult in the ER after surgery so they could get him the help he needed.
15. The Proof Is in The Ink
I asked my patient if he smoked, and he nodded sheepishly and told me that he did. That's all fine, I note it down. Then I asked if he smoked anything other than nicotine, because cannabis is associated with certain conditions I have to be aware of. The patient gasps, gets sanctimonious, and then shakes his head vigorously. Five minutes later, his lies unraveled spectacularly.
I asked him to get undressed, but he wouldn't remove his T-shirt. When I pressed him, he stared at the floor and then took his shirt off...to reveal a MASSIVE cannabis leaf tattoo on his chest.
16. This Isn’t My First Rodeo
When I was a med student, I took a history from a patient who wanted Ativan for anxiety. She told me about how her panic attacks were so bad that she gets into car accidents with casualties every week. I mean, a lot of patients will tell lies or play coy to get controlled substances, but she was the only one who admitted to multiple counts of vehicular manslaughter.
When I presented her case to my attending, she showed me a note in the EMR from another doctor stating this was a regular tactic of hers, as well as an extensive online list of every script different doctors had given her for controlled substances. She didn't get an Ativan prescription that day.
17. A Glass a Day Keeps the Bugs Away
I once informed my pediatrician that I "contacted malaria from a mosquito bite" and needed to miss math class to drink quinine, please. I was not bright as an eight-year-old. Well, bright enough to learn about malaria out of a Little House on the Prairie book, but otherwise, nope. The pediatrician made my mom give me a glass of tonic water each morning before second grade. Said it had plenty of quinine and would keep me safe from malaria.
Unexpected consequence, I still love the stuff and drink it regularly.
18. Won’t Be Coming Into the Office Today
In my first job, I would take sick days constantly. I learned how to fake certain symptoms, have a cracked voice, and all that. I always wondered if the doctor saw through my act but did not want to call me out or just did not give a darn at all. Because one day I went to another doctor, it ended very badly. He called me out and sent me right to work.
Funnily enough, I actually became sick the very next day with the flu and came back to the same doctor. He actually apologized to me. He said he never knows for sure and there are a lot of people faking symptoms to get things. Yeah, people like me!
19. That’s a Mouthful
I had braces as a kid, and I had a bad habit of chewing on pen caps, which would occasionally result in one of my brackets coming un-cemented from its tooth. So for the umpteenth time, this happened, and my orthodontist got ready to read me the riot act—until I weaved him the most ridiculous tale I've ever told in my life.
I said that I'd been at a birthday party at a restaurant with a dance floor in the back (which was true). I told him that I tripped and fell and hit my mouth on the wooden railing that lined the perimeter of the dance floor in such a way that I didn't hurt myself, I just knocked a bracket loose (which was absolutely a lie). His response was perfect.
He was like, "So you fell into a wooden rail, and you hit your mouth into it, full force, but you didn't lose a tooth, or bust your lip, or anything else? Is that what actually happened?" And then I looked at the floor and shook my head, "No".
20. Private Bits, Public Matters
My father is a urologist. The amount of male patients who come in with broken or bruised private bits is astonishing, to say the least. Some are honest. They were trying some new intimate thing and they miscalculated or got carried away, then someone turns the wrong way or falls of the bed/pommel horse/tire swing/etc. Or took a "flying leap" to initiate but missed.
But some of them are adamant that they woke up like that. These are the same people whose wives are out of town, and a woman who is definitely not her is in the waiting room to see if her boyfriend is okay. My dad has the potential to nuke so many marriages from orbit, but doctor-patient confidentiality holds him back. I have often dreamed of what would happen if one day he just said "Freak it" and revealed everything.
21. Liar, Liar, Self on Fire
“Someone attacked me and set me on fire” Turns out he set HIMSELF on fire, and also ingested some substances that ended up greatly complicating his treatment. They weren’t thing that are routinely tested for, or even EASY to test for. Sadly, he passed on.
22. The Bald Truth
I work as a nurse in the ER. A woman with a shaved head came in telling us she had leukemia and was in serious pain. She kept saying that she needed painkillers. There was one enormous problem. There were no records indicating she even had cancer, and when we did a complete blood count it showed that she was in fact healthy. After that, we discharged her and notified the authorities.
23. The Real Cancer Is Your Lies
I knew a guy who said that he had thyroid cancer, which later spread to lung cancer, then later spread to "unknown" cancer. His radiation treatment made him radioactive, so he had to spend nearly every day at his camper (it was over the summer, so he had a camper at a camping site), while his wife stayed home with his five children. It gets so much worse.
He had these mysterious "special treatments" in Chicago, so he needed money from his family to go to Cancer Center of America for the treatments. No one was allowed inside with him due to "top level" security, so if anyone went to Chicago with him, they had to stay at the hotel all day while he was gone. He also got money from fundraisers through his church for vacations with his wife.
He was granted extra vacation at work, burned through it, burned through his FMLA, and eventually quit his job. Because he was so sick and couldn't work, other people started paying his bills. When asked by one of the friends to prove that he has cancer and was in treatment, he said he couldn't get access to his medical records because he is taking an "experimental special treatment".
When asked for the name of the clinic, he named a very small private practice clinic in a town of about 1,000 people (it is not an oncology clinic). He said that the cancer technician there gives him the treatments, but he couldn't reveal the name of the medications due to security reasons. He also said he could not give the name of the doctor due to security reasons.
It went on like this for over a year. Finally, he declared one day that he was cured. A party was thrown in his honor. Money poured in to pay his remaining medical expenses (no bills were ever produced as evidence). Not a single person ever attended a medical appointment with him. No proof was ever seen (no bottles of medicine, etc.). His physical appearance never changed. It was insane.
24. I Was the Patient the Whole Time
The biggest lie was in the police report concerning my ex-boss. The nurse in charge said that, "I saw him crossing the parking place gingerly, but when he entered the ER, he contorted with pain. He claimed that he had a severe case of gallstone and that he needed opiates. I noticed him immediately since he had been with us several times before with the same symptoms". Oh, but there's more.
I know this because he tried to use my identity at the time. The trial will take place in August.
25. The Diagnosis Doesn’t See Eye-to-Eye
Low vision clinic. Patient is a woman in her mid-30s. Visual acuity is no light perception (NLP) in both eyes. Patient claims loss of vision due to a seizure. While observing gait and her ability to navigate with her seeing eye dog, I notice that she is leading the dog. I guide her into the exam room, and she "miraculously" finds and sits in the exam chair with no difficulty. No ocular pathology and brain imaging normal.
Despite all this testing, a previous doctor years ago declared her legally blind, so she is able to receive disability benefits and a seeing eye dog.
26. He Knows Too Much
When I was working as an EMT, got a call at 2 am for finger pain. Patient claimed their middle finger hurt 10/10. On the drive over to the hospital, the patient was calm and we talked about football. The second, and I mean the second, we crossed the threshold into the hospital they started writhing in pain, grimacing, screaming that they couldn't sit on the gurney anymore because it hurt so bad.
As I gave the triage nurse my report, the patient calls over and says something chilling. "I just want to let you know," he says, "I was in another hospital for this same thing two weeks ago and they gave me morphine and it didn't work and eventually gave me dilaudid which did. So, you might just want to start with dilaudid". Greeeeattt.
27. A Stoke of Good Luck
I had a patient, young (mid 20's) female check into the ER with a possible stroke. When we do the basic stroke tests is when the first suspicions arise that she's lying. When asked to raise her arms she started to raise both arms fine and then realized what we were asking and dropped one arm, which was the opposite arm she originally claimed to be having problems.
Her speech was fine, no facial droop. Her story about when symptoms started kept changing. We exit the room and doc orders a scan just to be safe. I go back to get her to take her to CT and find her sitting on the side of the bed eating (with the arm that supposedly she could not lift) and playing on her phone with the other... she was cleared and discharged shortly after.
28. Easy Come, Easy Go
I'm an ICU nurse and I was taking care of one lady who was a chronic pain patient. All she did all night was complain that she wasn't getting enough dilaudid and her already high dose of IV phenergran wasn't enough. It got to the point where she was hitting the call button every 15 mins. But when I went in to her room to check on her, I caught her.
She had her fingers down her throat trying to make herself puke so we would give her more medicine. Needless to say, it didn't work.
29. Intentions as See-Through as Her X-Ray
Cath lab specialist. In my training for rad tech school, I went to pick up a patient in the ED for a foot x-ray. She literally came to the ER because she stubbed her toe. Here's the thing: if you break any of your toes except for the hallux, there's no treatment—no case, no surgery. So, she's getting an x-ray pretty much for no reason because it's extremely difficult to break your first toe.
Anyway, as I approach her room, I can see her on her bed reading her phone. She's quiet. When she sees me, she puts her phone down and starts to moan, whimper and hold her foot. "I'm certain that it's broken". Yeah yeah yeah. I check her ID and introduce myself and explain that I'm ready to wheel her back (yes wheel, she wouldn't walk) for her x-rays".
Oh no. I'm not going anywhere until I get meds for this pain". I told her, to her horror, that I would let her nurse know so that he/she could get the order from the doc and get her meds. When she realized I couldn't give her anything and that she'd have to wait longer for her x-rays, she suddenly decided that she could go after all. "I'll just get the stuff after". Okay. And guess what, nothing was broken.
30. Grandma, What Sharp Lies You Have
My step-grandmother, a woman with Munchausen’s, has been hanging out at hospitals and doctors’ offices for decades. I don't know how she manages to convince every doctor that she is sick. She's 98 years old, strong, and all of the health issues she has had in the last 20 years, despite her old age, are things she inflicts on herself. It's chilling, but it's true.
I'm not convinced that doctors always know when it's being faked, because whenever we—her family—try to intervene, the doctor is already convinced that she needs treatment and moves forward, no matter how much we insist that she is not sick. She convinced a doctor she had leukemia. She has NO written diagnosis of leukemia. She kept that one up for 10 years. By "kept that one up," I mean she received chemo, had cancer medication, everything—with no diagnosis.
Unless every doctor in my city is book smart and not street-smart, then I just don't know. I refuse to believe that every doctor is an idiot, but I also don't think they know everything if she can literally fall though all of the cracks.
31. Take Her at Her Word
I had a patient lie to me that she was abducted and assaulted after a foray with someone she met. She also said the officers who came over to the house neglected her. However, she has a brain injury from suffering meningitis as a toddler, so unfortunately, compulsive lying is part of her chronic condition, so the family and I could not get too mad at her.
Eventually, she admitted to lying so we at least avoided filing complaints against the law enforcement department and filing criminal charges against her "abductor". Mind you, considering her developmental delay, him taking her home to have intimate time with her was still wildly inappropriate.
32. Down the Rabbit Hole
This one girl kept saying she didn't do any hallucinogens, but said people would look evil, and that she couldn't watch TV or listen to music. She was admitted for attempting to end her own life and stayed in her room almost all day. More than a month goes by before I met her. All her tests are negative, but she's still having weird visions.
I asked what her evil visions looked like, and she really struggled—but then she said something that made my blood run cold. She said that teeth looked big and sharp on people. I then asked a bunch of questions, and she said that people looked much closer than they actually were or moved much faster or slower than they should.
I had a diagnosis: she had Alice in Wonderland syndrome with aura migraines that were induced by her antipsychotics. We lowered her super high dose of antipsychotics and she started on some other medication.After two weeks, her symptoms resolved. Moral: sometimes they are just telling the truth the best way they know how.
33. All My Friends Are Here and We’ve Seen the Movies
I'm a therapist, but I also diagnose some clients. I had a woman in my office claiming she had multiple personalities. This is kind of a sticky diagnosis to begin with, but she claimed that she could talk to different personalities and then bring them out if she needed to. At first, I was open to believing her and exploring what this meant. Then it went off the rails.
Soon after, she introduced me to her girlfriend—who also had multiple personalities. Which they then started naming. Most of them were based on candy or Disney princesses. Notably the bad one was called The Beast. I actually asked her if she had seen the movie Split during our session. She said it was a coincidence.
34. But All the Cool Kids Are Wearing Them!
I’m a medical assistant. Had this teenage girl, probably 16, come in saying that her wrist was broken. Her mom was behind her rolling her eyes after every time she would tell me how bad it hurt. She then proceeded to “flop it” in an attempt to show me how bad it hurt when she did that. She said it was clearly broken and she would need a cast.
I said I would take her back and let the doctor do some X-rays and do their thing. Then the mother asked to talk to me outside of the room and dropped a shocker. She told me her daughter’s friend recently got a cast, and her daughter was notorious for being overly jealous. I just responded by saying that if there was anything wrong, it would show up in the X-ray.
Guess what? She didn’t get a cast and threw a fit. Last I saw her, she was crying and throwing a temper tantrum outside of the waiting room. Her poor embarrassed mom had to drag her out.
35. Medicine Is Like Comedy: It’s About Timing
Doc: Do you need to refill your meds? Patient: Nope, still taking them. I am asking because I know based off of my prescription that it is time for you to get more. If you don't need more it means you aren't taking them.
36. Sleeping Beauty
EMS here. I had a patient who pretended to suddenly be paralyzed. Very dramatic, on the floor, saying she couldn't feel anything below her neck. After assessing her, we had her stand and get on to the stretcher. Which she did without difficulty. Despite being "totally paralyzed". In the ambulance, she told me how she "sometimes goes code blue" and said that if that happens I must NOT rub her chest or cause her pain.
The best way to revive her was to turn the lights low and talk softly and soothingly to her. She told me all about how she "went code blue" in the hospital over a dozen times last time she was admitted, and how the doctors were so scared they almost couldn't revive her. During transport, I asked her for her birth date. Instead of responding, she did something ridiculous.
Her eyes fluttered shut and she went quiet. We drove in silence for several minutes while I worked on documenting the very detailed and unrealistic story she told me. Eventually, her eyes fluttered open and her hand went to her chest. She says "Oh! I think I went code blue there for a minute!" I replied, "Nope! No worries, you didn't!"
I continued, "You're totally fine and your vitals were pristine! You don't have to worry, you're safe! So, what's your birth date?" She looked super annoyed.
37. Surprise Delivery
When I was an intern, I was doing my ER rotation, and a woman in her late 30s came in complaining of nausea and lower abdominal discomfort for the last few days. I did the diligent history taking and, of course, asked her about the possibility of her being pregnant. She lost her mind and went off on me. She said she was a lesbian woman and had not been with a man for 10 years.
She yelled at me to get my boss and let an "adult" treat her. I reported back to my attending and described the tests I wanted done. He was like,"I didn't hear a plan for a pregnancy test," and I was like: "I don't think that's needed...she's a lesbian and hasn't been with a man in 10 years". My attending smiled and said: "Humor me". She was pregnant as heck. But that wasn't even the worst part.
Went back to her room and there were two dudes mugging one another, about to fight. She couldn't even look me in the eye.
38. School’s out
My mom was an ER doc. A scruffy guy, mid-50s, comes in looking for nonspecific help. Confused, smelly, dressed in ragged mismatched thrift store suit. He was clearly homeless and just looking for a bed. Keeps muttering something about quantum, obviously a little off his rocker. My mom decides she might as well give him a workup and teach the residents. Turns out the guy's in near-total renal failure, so they give him dialysis.
When he comes to, everyone's jaws dropped. Suddenly he was coherent. Suddenly he was sane. Suddenly talking about real actual quantum physics. Turns out he's a math professor. Some organ problem sent him into a mental tailspin on his way to a conference a month earlier, got off a train in the wrong city, he'd been wandering the streets ever since, missing and presumed deceased.
They're not always faking.
39. The One Who Was Holding and One Who Wasn’t
Patient comes in saying she has terrible abdominal pain. I say okay and start to examine her. She immediately starts screaming the moment I touch her belly. But look, I've seen patients in terrible pain, and nobody has ever yelled in pain with their eyes open. She wasn't even tensing or anything. In the end, it was the saddest case I've ever had.
It turns out that this lady has a history of coming in, saying she's pregnant when the urine and blood test are clearly negative. In one case she even tried to take a pregnant patient's urine (she got caught pretty fast). She was on psych follow-up. I'm not sure what the diagnosis was but my guess would have been Munchausen's. Anyway, we sent her home without pain meds.
40. Mothered Half to Death
One of my father’s patients kept coming back with her daughter’s mysterious illness. The kid was grey, like from head to toe, her skin had a grey/ blue tint. Mother swore it happened overnight and nothing could explain it. Yeah right... My father recognized silver toxicity and had the kid tested. A few calls to his colleagues in the area confirmed that the woman had been touring doctors, disappearing every time argyrism was diagnosed. The mother was feeding silver powder to her kid for attention.
41. In the Crosshairs of a Shaky Alibi
Paramedic here. A woman was shot. We arrive on scene and she has a single gunshot wound in her right thigh, minimal bleeding, and she is standing up and limping while talking to the authorities. She is very polite and nice and thanks us for coming to help her. She said she was walking in the parking lot of a restaurant when she saw a blue car drive by.
Then someone leaned out with a pistol, and then she felt something hit her leg. We help her to the truck, I bandage her wound, give her some pain medicine and on the to the hospital we go. She jokes about how she’s in the wrong place and the wrong time and is having an unlucky day. Oh, how I wish I'd been suspicious at the time.
We arrive at the ER, and I’m giving my report to the trauma team there when an officer on scene quietly comes into the room. I’m telling the patient’s story to the docs when the cop gets this huge grin on his face then nods at me to come outside. What he told me blows my mind. First, he told me that a blue car pulled up just when we left the scene.
Then, the officers checked the camera to see my patient inside the restaurant, yelling at the driver of the blue car. They leave the restaurant trying to get away from her, but my patient is chasing her. The video from the parking lot then shows my patient going to her vehicle and getting a pistol out. She starts to run after the other person. There’s a flash on the camera and the patient starts limping.
Ladies and gents, she shot herself in her leg.