The famous Grease song says, “There are worst things I could do”, but this doesn’t apply to people in these stories. Whether their intentions were good, bad, or ugly, the results were utterly catastrophic. Let’s take a deep dive into the deepest, darkest places of the human soul.
1. Relax, It Was Just A Phone Call
Back when my sister and I still lived together, I had a cellphone and she didn't. Because of that, she used to give out my number to her friends so that she could talk to them. I was okay with it at first—but she had a friend who, as time went on, got worse and worse.
She would call maybe 10 to 15 times a day looking for my sister. It was annoying. Well one day, I'm in the kitchen with my sister making some food, and my phone rings. I looked at the Caller ID and it was her friend. I just couldn't handle it and snapped at my sister".
Jesus Christ, I hope this girl dies so she stops calling my god damned phone all the time".
I will never forget those words because that was the call telling my sister that her friend had been in a car accident and had died instantly. Her mom called all her most frequently used contacts and let them know…
I still feel like garbage every time I think about that.
2. At Least I Brought It Back
I swapped out my broken PlayStation with a neighbor kid's PlayStation. I ran to my house when he went down for supper and swapped them out before he came back upstairs. He called my house asking if his PlayStation was working fine when he was gone. I of course acted as if nothing seemed wrong with it.
I felt so bad I ended up having another opportunity that weekend and swapped them back again. I felt a little better when he called later that day super excited that his PlayStation "worked" again. Yeah, 12-year-old me was a “grade-A evil”.
3. I Owe You A Phone
In college, I attended a house party with a group of my friends. About three hours into the party, I notice everyone is flocking to the backyard. I follow the crowd and realize that my group of friends has gotten into a fight with another group of guys.
As I approach, I hear a girl say “This is ridiculous! I’m calling the officers!” I look at her and say, “You’re drunk”. You’re slurring your words. Let me talk to them”.
She hands me her phone and I threw it as far as I possibly could, yelled to my friends “Yo, we gotta get outta here now!” and we all bolted. I always kind of felt bad about throwing her phone but hey—I’m a problem solver.
4. Leave A Message After The Beep, Or Not
There was a time in college when two of my female friends got a hold of the passcode to my answering service and, unbeknownst to me, recorded the following greeting, each taking turns in the most sultry kitten voices they could muster: "We're sorry. Zid's a little tied up right now but leave a message. If he's a good boy, we might let him call you back".
And the cherry on top? It was about two weeks before I found out about it through my Evangelical Christian mother…
5. A Self-Fulfilling Prophecy
This girl in high school told everyone I egged her house and was sleeping with her boyfriend.
I didn't egg her house, it just seems that apparently she was just hated by more people than me—which, frankly, made sense. I wasn't sleeping with her trashy boyfriend nor did I have any interest in doing so.
At first, it was just annoying but more and more people were making comments or saying those were crazy things to do or threatened to egg my house back, and finally, someone came into where I worked and made a comment about it while I was on shift.
I was so furious I egged her house and slept with her boyfriend. If I was going to get blamed for it, might as well make an honest woman out of her.
6. That’s Gross
I was delivering pizza and pasta for a regional “grub hub” thing. I was getting out of the car the pasta spilled onto the floor of my dirty Jeep Wrangler. The decent thing would have been to go back to the restaurant and eat the 10 dollars.
Instead, I scooped the pasta up and put it back in the tin with car dirt and fuzz and all and delivered it to the customers. I was fired within two hours and am now known as “Pasta Fingers” to my friends.
7. Girls In Uniforms
When I was young, I was driving down a large city boulevard with my friend the day after a huge rain storm, and at a stop light, I saw a bunch of rowdy girls in high school wearing some private school uniforms waiting for the city bus at a bus stop.
I couldn't help but notice the huge puddle in front of them. Satan himself must have taken me over at that instant...I made a U-turn up ahead, went back a few blocks, and zoomed past all the girls at the next green light, running my 1970 Chevelle right through that deep puddle.
There was far more water in that puddle than I imagined. A wave of dirty water doused those poor girls from head to toe. As a 48-year-old dad now, I look back and see how stupid I was. But at the time, I remember me and my friend laughing our hearts off as those girls screamed and cursed us out.
MAHATHIR MOHD YASIN , Shutterstock
8. Blame It On The Wheelchair
To preface this, it's important to note that I ate a ton of Taco Bell right before bed the night before the funeral. Not sure of everything I had, but there was a burrito supreme in there.
Anyway, let's back up a couple of days. I was looking forward to a weekend in Chicago for an annual trip for people in our major. Unfortunately, my on-again-off-again ex-girlfriend's grandma passed away. Despite the “ex” being a general bummer of an individual, I offered to pass up the trip and be by her side. That's when things got...messy.
Cut to the morning. I woke up and felt a small cavernous rumble of gas that shalt not pass. You know when it's going to be bad. The relative's house we stayed with her big family was not large, so I couldn't even find an unoccupied room nor a walk-in closet to release gas.
So it sits in my stomach and churns. We get dressed and get to the showing, and the gas seems to have calmed ... but it's still in there. Most of the family walks up to talk to each other and I begin to see an opportunity to release at least a portion of this tainted copy of Air Bud: Spikes Back that was "now showing" in my butt. It seemed perfect. Finally, some relief! So I remained seated as they dissipated and did the deed. I knew it would be silent. But I had no idea it would be that bad.
Pretty sure it increased the room temperature and humidity of the room. It was hot, dense, and dank. It honestly smelled like a dog did it—or some sort of dog-human hybrid. The family started to notice the smell, and then a ton of others nearby did as well. When they started looking for the source, my heart dropped.
Now, folks, I'm pretty laid back. Also, I was super tired. I'm no actor by any means, but I think some kind of innate human instincts for preservation came into play to keep me from taking the blame for that anti-enchilada. I denied that I supplied, and was acquitted of the chunk charges. But what happened next made me a scum bag.
Seconds later, a dude in a wheelchair came through the crowd of us. One of her family members was like "Do you think it was him?" And I composed myself and was like, "Yeah, I didn't notice the smell until he came in the room".
I'd say I felt bad for all of this. But I still laugh every time I remember hearing my ex's concerned mother say "I wonder if he rolled his wheels through something".
I'm trash forever.
9. Never-Ending Purchases
This probably isn't the worst, but I feel bad about it now. So this was when I was in trade school. The vending machines for snacks, cokes, and energy drinks also took cards.
How it worked was you slid your card, punched in the code for what you wanted, and then hit end-to-end purchase. The thing was the last part wasn't explicitly stated.
So I'd wait by the machine for somebody to swipe their card then buy something when they left. I'd get two or three things on their card. Free energy drinks! Drink some. Trade one for some smokes. So yeah. Pretty bad.
10. You Missed Your Movie Ending
I was awkward, lanky, and super nerdy in high school. In my honors advanced class, there was a line between kids who probably should have just taken the regular honors class and the others. Like, a pretty big gap.
Anyhow, I was probably on the lower end of the group which was fine, but this one girl was in the group of kids that were struggling pretty hard. We'll call her Ann.
Ann had a huge chest. Huge. Really pretty hair. All the guys talked about her. She was in the popular group, but someone I'd honestly never talked to. Anyhow, one day one of the girls in Ann's friend group, also very pretty, came and sat with me in class and started talking to me while I was reading. I pretty much was trying to send her the "Leave me alone" vibe. This friend then finally just cut to the chase and said "Look, Ann thinks you're cute and wants you to talk to her or ask her out".
I was a sophomore in high school, and super not in the cool group. So, I was certain this was a put-up of some sort. I didn't know if she wanted my help with homework or if they were going to pull one of those movie moments where the second I was nice to her, then she and all her friends laugh at me and mock me. But I was certain it was one or the other.
I can't remember exactly what I said but I was very nasty to the friend loud enough that Ann could hear and then I think I pointed out how stupid Ann was or some stuff. Anyhow the friend stands up and stomps off, nearly in tears. She shouted something at me like "I told her she was stupid for liking you! She thought you were nice!" And I looked over and Ann was nearly in tears.
Turns out, while I had been very awkward as a freshman, I'd put on about 30lbs, filled out, and while I still saw the super skinny awkward kid in the mirror, I wasn't as much, anymore. Also, in retrospect, while I'd never talked to Ann, she was always very kind-hearted when I saw her interacting with others. She never joined in the popular kids doing nasty things, and they honestly never did that when she was around. She also appeared to be attracted to intelligence... also, she wasn't stupid herself. The class was demanding. I had some natural talent in the most challenging areas.
Looking back, the first time a girl ever took a risk to hit on me, I was a complete idiot because I was so certain I was undesirable. I think I was wrong. For whatever reason, one of the most attractive girls at my school thought I was worth getting to know, and I ruined that chance.
hemorrhagic fever
Mental Health America (MHA) , Pexels
11. Blinding Drinks
My friend invited me over to have some drinks while his parents were away. We were both 14 years old—this was a long time ago—and we got very inebriated. When he went to sleep that night I filled his eye sockets with glue, and when he woke up in the morning he thought he had drunk himself blind.
It was freaking hilarious.
ShotPrime Studio , Shutterstock
12. What’s In The Box!
My dad volunteered for the Student Conservation Association, backpacking in the Everglades repairing trails and whatnot for six weeks. One of the five in his party kept getting care packages sent to him and he refused to share, so my dad decided to teach him a lesson—he replaced his trail mix chocolates with laxatives..in the middle of the woods...and in the summer.
The dude shared his Oreos from that point on.
13. Waiting For You
I used to work with a guy I despised, and one day I found out he was going to New York. I told him I happened to be going too and we should get lunch sometime. He agreed, gave me his number and I texted him and said, “Meet me on TGIFridays at noon in times square”.
Only I wasn't at TGIFridays, I was at home in front of my computer recording a live image of a camera in times square of him standing there waiting for me. I texted him and kept telling him I was coming soon. Eventually, I told him I got lost and to had to cancel.
I then took the video and spliced it together with songs like "The Waiting", "Right here waiting for You", and other such songs and sent it to him and everyone else at my job.
14. Prank Gone Too Far
Some friends and I thought it would be funny to prank some people we knew that were having a house party. The house was nestled back in the woods—with a long gravel driveway leading up to it. We took one of those cheap red/blue flashing lights and put it on the car as we drove up.
We watched as everyone panicked, thinking we were the officers, as they ran out of the house and scattered into the woods. So, naturally, since the house was devoid of human life when we got there, we took all of their booze and left. We had quite a party of our own that night.
15. I Didn’t Mean To Do That
I ran over a kid's skateboard, looked him directly in the eyes, and then drove off.
For context, he had been riding in the middle of the street on a narrow road. His buddies were skating on the sidewalk like people who aren't complete idiots. It was too dangerous to pass, so I was stuck behind this kid for like a quarter of a mile, and he was taking his time.
Finally, we got to the end of the road. He went to jump up onto the curb, but his skateboard didn't clear it and came rolling back into the street. The kid himself had stumbled onto the sidewalk and turned around in horror as his skateboard crunched underneath my tires.
I didn't mean to do it, but I also didn't try to prevent it. I felt guilty but it was honestly pretty hilarious.
16. Welcome To The Family
Around February, my cousin started talking to this girl. He had no job and was living on my couch at the time so he asked to use my car to pick her up. I let him and a couple of weeks later we were all hanging out regularly. Well, my cousin was still trying to get over another girl and he treated the new girl in a bad way most of the time, even comparing her to the old girl.
The new girl and I started talking all the time because she was cool and needed someone to complain about my cousin to. I'm a flirty person and she flirted back, and then it escalated to the point of us making plans to be together the following day.
This is when things got serious. I picked her up, we went to a park, and we did it there. We went home and I told my cousin to pack his stuff because I was taking him back to his grandma's (which is where he usually lives except for those three months he was on my couch).
After I dropped him off, the girl and I went back to my place and continued doing it in my bedroom. We were together for a while until one day I told him. Currently, he doesn’t talk to me and the girl is now my girlfriend.
17. She Loves You Not
You know how in every elementary or junior high classroom there's that one kid that isn't smart enough to have made it there, generally has problems at home, or needs "extra help" from a teaching assistant?
I won't mention his name, but I got stuck sitting next to this guy in Grade 7. His "at home" problems involved a mother who moved to Australia with her boyfriend and left him behind. He would do anything for a laugh, and because we were all twisted kids, a laugh usually came at someone's expense.
I was not the most attractive kid, and I tried to help this—or make it worse—by dressing up a little every day. One day, I wore these sandals with purple leather flowers on them. They were pretty nice, especially for a Grade 7 class.
I'll never forget him for what he did—he decided to rip the flower off my shoe while I was working. He proceeded to rip each petal off, one by one, doing the whole "She loves me, she loves me not" thing. I'm so stunned that he went so far as to wreck my shoes that I'm unable to say anything, only sitting there just steaming. Of course, every kid in the class was watching and listening. Finally, he holds up the last petal and proudly says, "She loves me!"
Without skipping a beat, I snap, "No she doesn't. She moved to Australia".
Never in my life have I seen a kid look more devastated. He excused himself to the bathroom and cried for the rest of the day. He never did say or do anything remotely mean to me ever again.
18. Stupid Boy Deserved It
My best friend in college had this boyfriend I couldn’t stand. I hated him so much. He was always in our room and he was an idiot and he treated her badly. One night we were on our way to a party and he realized he lost his baggy of joints somewhere in the lobby of our dorm. We all looked for it, and I found it on the floor of the laundry room.
This stupid boy either bought those from someone who did this, or he did it himself. His little baggie had his last name on it. We went to a college of fewer than 1500 students and he had a unique last name.
I stuck it in my pocket and didn’t say anything. The next day I put it into a new baggie and texted him to say I had a friend stop in from Denver and hook me up with some good stuff if he wanted some. I sold it back to him with a straight face. That idiot paid for the same terrible stuff twice.
19. My Game Boy, Your Game Boy
When I was 12, I had a friend who lived in the same apartment complex as me. Anyways, one day he and his mom come along for a day trip to the lake with my family. He brought along his glacier blue game boy advance and I was super jealous because I only had the game boy color. Once we get back home, we drop them off at their apartment. That's when I realized that he forgot his game boy smooshed in between the back seats.
I didn't say anything.
The worst part is, when he would come over I lied to his face and told him that my mom just got it for me along with the same game that he just lost.
20. Who Let The Lizards Out?
My freshman year of high school was the year I was diagnosed with Crohn's disease. My chronic illness had really affected my growth, and I was sitting around 70 lbs at 14, and I looked sickly and skeletal.
Naturally, I got comments all the time about how I needed to eat more, and rumors went around that I was anorexic.
I had to take a Health and PE class that year, and there was one guy in that class, one grade-A idiot that always would have something to say. I sat at a desk in the back of the class and he sat at a desk diagonally in front of me, never quitting with the comments. But I'd soon show him not to mess with me.
One day when we were out at the track, I noticed he was particularly squeamish about a lizard he saw on a fence. Another guy caught it and chased after him with it, and he bolted away in fear.
So the next day, I caught a few of them, put them in a little container, and secretly released them on him during class. Nobody knew I did it, but everybody saw him leap up from his desk and scream like a little girl, trying to get things off of him. The other kids joked about there being a lizard on him or would make fun of his scream for the rest of the school year.
It wasn't the high road and I sort of regret it, but good lord it was hilarious and my small vengeance felt amazing at the time.
21. Stay Silent
We used to snowball cars, egg cars, you name it and we would probably throw it at cars while they were driving through our neighborhood.
One night we were doing just that, and my neighborhood growing up was set up in a way that worked to our advantage pretty well—it was a peninsula with one way in and out, and a long road we could see down coming into it. We got into so much trouble that we eventually learned to identify the headlights of cars coming in and knew whenever a cop was coming.
So we set up this weird snowball trap for cars where they would turn a blind turn and see a hose tied across the road between two parallel signs, stop and get out to move it, and we would blast them and run down this little getaway path we had.
Eventually, someone came through and didn’t see it in time, ran the hose over, got it all wrapped up in their wheel well, and caused them to skid to a pretty abrupt stop in a snowstorm around a blind turn. An officer's car started immediately following them and slammed into the back of them. We all ran back to my house and no one got caught, and next thing you know we’re all in my house looking out the window at the town's entire force driving around outside.
The neighbors all knew who it was and tried to tell my parents what we did. Luckily they couldn’t ever prove it was us!
22. Unlocking A New Level Of Evil
I was a new kid in middle school and was friendly to everyone to make some new friends. I was nice to this one kid who had a learning disability—we will call him Steve. Steve took this as me and him “becoming best friends forever” and would constantly follow me around at school.
We had the same classes together and he would make every effort to sit next to me. Being the dumb impressionable kid I didn’t want people to think I was one of the weird kids. One day there was a break in a history double and I went to the toilet and unsurprisingly Steve followed me.
I had noticed that on the outside of the toilet block the janitor had left the key in the lock and I decided that I wanted to have a break from Steve for a few minutes. After I was done with the bathroom I said that I would wait outside for him, however when I got outside I locked the entire cubicle locking Steve in.
I then decided it would be a good idea to hide the key so if the janitor came back he couldn’t unlock the door. I then went back to my history class.
The door to the toilet block had a pane of glass in the middle and you could see through it. Being locked in the toilet block caused a lot of attention, and loads of kids were just standing outside of it laughing at him. I left him in there for about three hours after my classes were done, unlocked the door, and ran home.
I am a terrible person and still feel incredibly guilty to this day, the worst part about all of it was that Steve didn’t think that I did anything wrong and was always trying to be a friend. Shoutout to you Steve, I hope you’ve found happiness in your life and I’m truly sorry.
23. Wrong Pixie Stick
When I was about 13—l was a pretty well-behaved and quiet kid but I had a cousin who was much more wild and brought out the classic brainless child in me. So, one day while we were at a hangout where a bunch of parents brought all their kids, my cousin and I decided to share a pixie stick we bought earlier with one of the young kids.
We take an empty pixie stick wrapper we had, fill it almost full with sand, and pour a little bit of candy powder from a different pixie stick on top to cover the sand. We convince the kid that we were just being nice and sharing with him, so he takes the candy and lets it pour into his mouth, filling up his mouth with sand.
Instantly after closing down on what he thought was candy, the kid realizes that something isn't right and his face contorts into disgust and confusion so he starts spitting the sand out like mad, struggling because it coated and stuck to the insides of his mouth. He starts bawling and runs to his mom while my cousin and I sneak away laughing ourselves to tears.
We watch the kid trying to tell his mom what happened but he couldn't stop crying long enough to get the words out. Even though we got a laugh out of it we felt bad then and I still do today.
24. A Good-Old Shoplifting Story
When I was 14, I and a friend went to a store with our gym bags and we agreed to take something from the store. We took candy, soda, and other snacks. Then my friend had an idea to take some drinks, and I said “Okay”.
So I was watching out for any people that might spot us while my friend was grabbing a ton of Smirnoff ice and other stuff. We went to the counter with our bags full, and we got out without getting caught. We should have stopped there—but we got greedy.
We went into another store to take some more because “Why not?” we thought. So we were walking around, pretty much alone. We didn't find anything to take away, so we went out again. So when we were out of the store, one of the workers saw us and asked if she could look in our bags. We said no and ran like crazy. We have never been to that store again.
25. St.Patrick’s Day Got Out Of Control
I was at a St. Patrick's Day party with some buddies during college. This was the south side of Chicago with a bunch of Irish Catholics—they take their “St Paddy’s Day” very seriously. We got to the house party at about 7 am and it was already in full effect; baileys and coffee, beers, and Jell-O shots.
Everyone was having a great time getting sauced before heading downtown to the parade. Jell-O shots were running low and a few people already made their way toward the train. All the Jell-O shots were in the basement fridge right next to the washing machine.
For some reason, I still don't fully understand—other than being a real idiot—I decided to fill an empty Jell-O shot container with laundry detergent. It looked exactly like a blue Jell-O shot. I put it on the tray with the rest and went upstairs. No less than five minutes later, I hear screaming from the basement, followed by vomiting and more screaming. Some chick drank it down, well at least some of it.
Her boyfriend accused a few people but I was just some random dude among 100 people. No one expected anything. We left 20 minutes later or so and got on the train. To make matters worse at one of the train stops, I took a bottle and a cop saw me.
It was crowded so it took him a minute to fight through the crowd and find me. In that time I took off my jacket and stuffed it under the seat. I moved seats and just stared out the window. The officers ended up going straight to the chick's boyfriend and he had a bottle hidden in his jacket. The officers took him for underage drinking.
This was the craziest day of my life.
26. Another Kid Did It, Mom
When I was in kindergartenü I decided I wanted to run like a superhero headfirst into a chair...
The chair ended up being right in front of a big metal part on my teacher's desk, and I ended up with a huge knot/bruise on my forehead.
There was a kid I didn't like at the time, so in an attempt to save myself from further embarrassment and instead of fessing up to the fact that I injured myself, I decided to tell my mom he hit me in the head with a stick...
Cue her and my dad meeting with my teacher and the kid's parents, and the teacher asking other kids what they saw, and the poor kid getting in huge trouble—might have even been suspended if they suspend kindergarteners.
I felt super bad about it later and ended up telling my mom that I lied and she made me apologize…
He ended up being a super nice dude who I knew through high school, and I felt guilty every time I saw him and I wonder if he remembers how stupid I was for literally no reason.
27. Lazy O’Clock
A couple of years ago I was a contractor with a couple of friends, and we got a contract at a hospital. It was as simple as removing sheets of plastic from all around the 7-8 floor building and caulking the holes. It was incredibly easy and we thought it would take about one week in total.
The project manager for the hospital sees us busting tail and realizes we are going to get done within the week. He tells us there is no rush and we can get paid hourly rather than by the job—quoted at a couple of grand for the whole place.
We take a break to discuss this and realize this project manager has no idea what he is doing. We begin removing these pieces of plastic one by one and hand-walking them each to the dumpster outside. We could easily use a cart and move 100 or so, but we don’t.
We then stop using electric power tools to "reduce noise". I vividly remember my buddy removing one piece of plastic over about 45 minutes, then replacing it on the wall and screwing it back in, then going on break.
Needless to say, we were amazed at how long we dragged it out. We came to the understanding that the hospital had a fire code budget in which a grant was given and they had to use all of it. We got to the point in which we would get to work at 3 pm or 11 pm for a night shift—quiet areas of the hospital—and just go to a bar until minutes before we left, then would go sign out plastered. No one in the hospital was watching us. At all.
On one of our last days, the ATM was broken in the lobby and my buddy figured that out. He called us, we went down and overdraft bank accounts, maxed credit cards.. everything. We drove over to the bank and deposited the double right back into our banks—while on shift.
For six months, we did that. Then the project manager finally said to hurry up, and we got it done four days later.
I miss that job…
28. No Family Trip For Me Please
I had a close family member staying with me. I was supposed to drive them, on my day off, to somewhere about six hours away, then take the bus back. My family member was much older and their legs cramped up if they drove too much.
I didn't want to spend my weekend doing that...so I came up with a quick plan to get out of it. The morning we were to leave, I took the trash out. On the way back, I stopped at our apartment building entrance and buzzed my apartment—which rang the telephone. I came into my apartment as the phone was 'ringing', I 'answered' and pretended it was a call from work, we had an emergency, and that I had to come in".
Man, I was looking forward to driving you all weekend but, well, you know how it is when there is a work emergency".
The family member understood. Then, to make it even more real, since I didn't have a car I asked the family member to drop me off at my job. I took the bus back home.
To this day I carry the guilt. That family member was very nice and didn't deserve what I did. The family member has since passed. I can't even say he or she because I fear that will trigger more guilt. Which I deserve.
29. Bang!
While I was in my junior year of high school, my biology class was dissecting fetal pigs. We were in a classroom on the fourth floor with windows overlooking the football field and bleachers. The football team held practice at the same time in the afternoon.
Our teacher left the room for a bathroom break. My best friend—still is—opened the window and I chucked a fetal pig across the room and out the window as hard as I could. We took a quick peek and saw the smashed fetal pig on the bottom bleachers near some resting football players. Then my friend immediately closed the window. The bell rang and we left.
30. Clever Move
A few years back I got wasted at a house party. I met a nice girl there and amazingly, considering the state I was in, ended up sleeping with her at her place. Everything went well and I was quickly vast asleep.
Fast-forward a few hours, around 5 AM, I woke up in a huge pool of my pee. I usually don’t pee on my bed but apparently, I had one too many beers and I lost my basic human reflexes that night. Now I start to mildly panic since the girl knew a lot of my friends and is part of the same social circles at my university.
I therefore absolutely wanted to prevent her from finding out what happened. This was rendered quite difficult by the fact that there was a huge pool of water where I had just been sleeping. Fortunately, the pool hadn’t spread to her side of the bed, so she couldn’t feel it or anything. I decide to postpone finding a solution till morning. I get a towel from the bathroom and lay it on the pool to prevent further spreading and accommodate a more comfortable sleeping position for myself for the coming hours.
Fast-forward again a few hours to the moment the morning light wakes me up. She is at this point also awake and playing a game on her phone. She still hadn’t noticed anything, however, and I forced her even more to the side of the bed so that she wouldn’t touch the towel or the pool underneath it.
It hadn’t dried up at all at this point so I still needed a solution. I lay silent for about fifteen minutes until I decide to ask the girl if she might get some water for me. She reluctantly climbs over me to get out of bed and amazingly doesn’t notice anything. She returns with a nice glass of water and gets back in bed.
She starts to play with her phone again. I go sit upright with my water and take a few sips. When I’m sure she isn’t paying any attention, I empty the glass where the stain of pee was on the mattress. I let go of a hard “Darn!” as if it were an accident. Then I pretend to find the towel next to the bed and smear the water wherever the stain of pee has reached.
She was a bit baffled during this quick chain of events but believes to this day that the stain on her mattress was merely due to my clumsiness. After the resolution of my plan, I quickly said goodbye. I still see her regularly but do not talk to her.
31. Hello? Who’s There?
I was eight or nine and over at a friend’s house. They had just gotten brand new cordless phones—cordless phones had just hit the market, and they were practically first in line to buy them.
Anyway, someone called while I was over and my friend’s mom answered the phone and walked into another room to take the call. It blew my mind. So later when she put the phone down, and while no one was looking, I snuck the phone into the sleeve of my coat and put it by the front door.
When it was time to go, I took it out of the house. I have some vague idea that I thought I’d be able to call anyone I wanted anytime, but of course, the phone was useless by the time I hit their driveway. I played with it for a few days and then stuck it in a drawer and forgot about it.
I found it seven or eight years later and felt so awful and guilty! They must have gone nuts looking for that brand-new, exclusive, expensive bit of technology.
Perfect Angle Images , Shutterstock
32. Bullying The Rich Kid
I attended swimming lessons in my youth. There was this guy in a different age group who was a show-off rich kid, so a lot of others did not like him. He wore huge swimming goggles so we called him” a Martian". There was a norm to leave your sports bag, rucksack with towels, shower gel, etc in the shower area.
That's when a lightbulb went off in my head. One day. after our age group lesson had finished, my mate and I decided to take a “number two” into the plastic bag, wrap it up and conceal it in a small compartment of the Martian's rucksack. A week later the smell was still there. We decided he probably got nose blind.
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33. Stress-Eating At Its Peak
In 8th grade, I was thoroughly depressed and on medication that curbed my hunger, so I would go for entire days with only one meal or no meals at all. I was also playing four different sports at the time, so needless to say I was burning a lot of calories that my body simply didn't have.
Occasionally, I would just become insatiably hungry and devour several cafeteria lunches because I was starving to a small degree sometimes.
One day I was on the way to class with a hall pass from a teacher I had stayed late to talk to, meaning the hallways were empty when I noticed that some poor chap had left what was a brown lunch bag outside of his locker and had forgotten to take it in with him. Despite knowing full well that he had no money in the system or on his person to purchase lunch from the school, and knowing full well he could easily just remember he had left it there and retrieve it, I picked it up and power-walked out of there.
My classroom was in a mobile-home-trailer-thing way out of the way of the main hall, so there was no possible way I would encounter this individual; once I was in my seat, I knew I was virtually 100% safe.
During class, I began eating the contents of the bag while the teacher was lecturing. To my disappointment, there was mayonnaise on the sandwich which normally would have made me gag. To prevent as much of it as possible, I tore pieces off of the edge and very top-center of the bread slices to miss the underlying mayo.
At one point the teacher caught me and demanded I stop eating. I said "Okay" and then promptly continued eating.
Sure, I've done worse things that simply aren't coming to mind right now, but when I later had my usual meal in addition to the swiped food I couldn't help but feel guilty that some kid out there potentially had no lunch and it's just one of those things I remember an actual decade later.
34. We Don’t Need No Education!
As a kindergartner, I once led a rebellion against my PE teacher.
I wasn't a great kid, and loved to talk in class, but would always be able to weasel my way out of trouble. That day, I guess my PE teacher had enough, and she tried to get me and the friend I was talking to in trouble. As usual, I managed to shut up right before she turned around, but my friend wasn't so lucky. I didn't even get in trouble, but I vowed that I would get revenge against this teacher.
Later, during recess, while the PE teacher was watching the playground, I decided that her reign was over, and led a group of almost 15 other kindergartners to chase after the teacher and throw pebbles and tanbark at her. The funny thing is, once I started riling up the other kids, I just sat back and watched. Never even lifted a finger.
I got pulled into the Principal's Office that day, and my mom had to come to school for the second time that day.
I was a pretty troublesome kid.
35. Sly
There was this awkward girl in my 6th-grade class who sat at the back of the room. One day she had to leave class for some reason. She walked past my desk, I tripped her, and she went down hard.
She was carrying this pencil case. It was the clear plastic kind that shatters, and that's exactly what it did. She must have had 30 pens/pencils in that case and they went everywhere. She turned bright red and started scrambling around picking up the pencils.
What's crazy is how quiet it was. No one said anything or helped her, not even the teacher. We all just watched. After ages, she finally gathered all the pencils and ran out of the room. No one ever suspected me.
36. Golf Gone Bad
My buddy, Ben, worked at a golf course that was closed on Mondays. He asked if any of us wanted to go because employees got to golf for free on that day. A couple of us thought It'd be fun and said, "Yeah, why not, it sounds like fun".
The night before he called and said he couldn't make it but said we could go without him and he'd leave his key for the golf carts in the shed. There were three of us and we each grabbed a golf cart. A few other employees, who had just finished a round, asked who we were and if we knew someone who worked there. We told them that we were friends of Ben and he said we could play a round.
We played the first three holes—but what started as golf, turned into destruction. After a few adult beverages, we were whipping donuts in the sand traps, jumping the carts over stuff, and playing bumper cars. We lost a cart in the woods and another one ended up with broken headlights and a flat tire. The next day Ben called and said he'd been fired for some reason.
I'm not proud of the events of that night. But it was fun and I'm glad he invited us.
37. You Put The Idea Inside My Head
When I was eight, I was alone in the park when I met this very friendly kid the same age as me. We talked and we played all sorts of games for about six or seven hours. He said, "After this swing ride I have to go home but come to my house sometime and we can play more".
This was the first time I made a friend outside of school and he was a lot nicer and friendlier than my other friends but I later ruined everything.
We are one of those tire rides where you sit on the tire that is attached to a line on top of the platform and jump where it flies across the whole line.
He said to me before he went on “Please don't push me after I jump, I'm scared of going fast". So what do I do after he jumps? I push him and he panics so much he falls off the tire in midair and broke his leg.
The boy was crying so much, his mum instantly came and took him home while he was crying in pain and I never saw him again.
If you are reading this I am sorry.
Oleksandr Canary Islands , Pexels
38. The Underlying Reason Was Sweet, But The Act Wasn’t
When I was a teenager, I broke into the house my best friend used to live in. Their family had been kicked out by the landlord and I was mad that as a result, my friend had to move across town and thus I wouldn't get to see her as often. I went into the house and left the upstairs bathtub faucet running, and I left.
The upstairs flooded, the tub fell through the floor, and it was a mess. The neighbor had seen me leave and accused me, but I denied it and nothing happened. Now as an adult and homeowner, I feel a ton of remorse and guilt about doing it. I did see the house ended up being redone beautifully, and I convince myself that the landlord most likely filed a claim against the insurance and won. I hope. I hope and hope.
39. A Well-Planned Revenge
My friend did not want to lend me a pencil for an exam, so I was really angry because he had like three of them—and the exam was multiple choice so he didn't even need that many. The next exam was in a week so I planned my revenge.
Every time we met to study I took a pencil from his backpack and put it in our locker—we shared a locker. He is the kind of guy that does everything on his laptop so I was sure he was not going to notice. By the time of the exam, we were just about to enter the examination room when he realized he didn't have any pencils.
That day I took them out and put them in a visible spot in the locker. He asked me for a pencil—he was quite anxious—and I said: I think I have some pencils in the locker. The locker was on the other end of the campus.
40. Pardonne-Moi
In grade school, my French teacher lived in my neighborhood, and one of my friends and I liked to knock on her door and ditch her. One time we did it and I think my friend just got new shoes—they were those black suede indoor soccer shoes everyone had—but he asked me to hold his shoes so he could run up and ring the doorbell because they were too big or something.
That's when things went haywire—right after he rang the doorbell I checked his shoes so he had to decide whether to make a clean getaway or get his shoes. He sprinted away in a panic and didn't grab his shoes. We went back and the French teacher took the shoes inside so we had to ask for them back.
41. Regrets
I grew up very poor with dysfunctional parents in a rural area. My siblings and I often went hungry. As the oldest, I always tried to look after them, but one day I failed hard. When I was seven and my little brother was five, I was playing outside and he appeared with a bologna sandwich that he had somehow scraped together from what he could find in the kitchen.
It was just a single piece of meat on two squished pieces of dried bread. No cheese, no condiments, nothing else. When I saw what he had, in a fit of jealousy, I knocked it out of his little fingers onto the ground. He immediately burst into tears and started bending down to pick it up off the ground.
Before he could pick it up out of the dirt, the local pack of stereotypical dogs that a poor rural family keeps pushed him over and ate the sandwich. He just lay there on the ground, covered in dust, crying and repeating over and over "I made it to share with you".
I am now 30, and we have a close relationship, but not a day goes by that I don't think about what I did on that one day out of petty jealousy. I want to apologize, but I am hoping that he does not, or will not remember it.
42. Are Those Clouds?
I used to try and get my parents’ lawn mowed—riding mower—at the same time each week and when summer turned into fall, I would end up finishing their huge lot after the sun had already set. I was just finishing up the last section and heard a loud cracking spitting noise and a huge cloud of fluff shot straight out the blower.
I dismounted the mower and used my phone light to see that I had run over a nest of about ten baby bunnies. Shredded into a thousand pieces across the lawn into our neighbor's fence. I heaved a great sigh and wept a little as I raked up their remains into the fire pit.
Mostly try and forget this one.
43. Why Would You Do That?
When I was younger, somewhere around eight or nine I met a lovely young girl while vacationing with our family. We played, we laughed, we had a lot of fun. This young girl, let's call her Rachel, was as kind as could be, but she was afraid of monsters.
I don't mean just afraid of the boogeyman, I mean seriously truly afraid that there were monsters in the woods. To combat this fear, her mother came up with a unique solution—she had given her an old atomizer and filled it with water, telling Rachel that this magical spray would ward off monsters.
Well, one day Rachel left behind her magical monster spray bottle. After pondering what to do with it, I concluded. I should pee in this little girl's monster spray. So I did it. Filled it to the brim and then left it where I found it. The next day, sure enough, there's the bottle, hanging around her neck as always. I've never forgiven myself.
Inside Creative House , Shutterstock
44. Averting A Disaster
When I was young, I got really angry at my mom. It was during a big family vacation, we had rented a huge beach house and about 15 of my relatives were there. I got "grounded" by my mom for going outside all on my own—I was 13ish—for an hour or so without telling anyone.
So anyway, there I am sulking in the room my parents and I shared, forced to stay there for the rest of the day, probably another 3 hours, just getting angrier and angrier. So I took my mom's saline solution for her contact lenses and mixed some other substances into it.
I filled her contact case with it too—it was empty at the time. After about two hours of considering what I had just done, I ran over and dumped it all out, and filled it back up with water. I guess she never noticed.
45. Same Old Love Triangle
I had a massive crush on a girl in one of my classes two years ago. After I got her number, the first thing she texted back after I initially texted her was that she had a boyfriend. I didn't care and continued to pursue her. They lived together, but when he went out of town for Christmas break, I ended up sleeping with her three nights in a row until she went out of town for the break.
We never did anything physical again, but still hung out for months "as friends". Eventually, we stopped hanging out altogether. We are in the same department though and she is still with the same guy who is at the same school. She never told him about what we did.
I feel awful for what I did but I also feel bad for her boyfriend who has no clue. I've never met him, but recently I've thought of writing him a letter telling him what happened. I don't know why but I kind of want to do it to hurt her. I guess the hope would be he would leave her. But I hate seeing her as often as I do in the hallways and whatever. She was mean to me after we stopped hanging out and I kind of want revenge. I know that is terrible.
46. Enjoying The Chaos
In my first year of high school, I hung out with much older guys so I was around a lot of bad influence. One of my buddies would always skip class and I would join him... Usually, we would go around busting open lockers and take what was ever in there.
First locker of the day I bust into, brand new iPod, brand new phone, and 100$ in cash. Boy did I hit the jackpot? Later on in the day a bunch of girls approached me saying that their Mexican exchange student friend had gotten her phone stolen with all her numbers to contact her family and the last bit of money she had.
She was supposed to be going back to Mexico within the next couple of days. I played it off like I knew nothing, even told them I would help them look. Man did I ever feel like an evil.
47. That’s Not My Fault Though
When I was in 3rd grade, I had a neighborhood friend named Chris over and we were playing outside. He asked me if he could use our bathroom and I said "No" for some reason, because I thought he was dirty or something, I don’t know. So Chris ended up walking home about a mile or whatever to use the bathroom.
His mom then stopped letting him come over and I learned later that it was because he pooped his pants on the way home and had to use some lady's restroom to clean himself up.
I learned much later that he also took his own life.
48. Childhood Traumas Are The Worst
A friend of mine was babysitting his neighbor's baby when he was 14 or 15. For some reason, the baby was on the floor and the door rang. He jumped up to get it and didn't look where he was stepping and stepped, practically jumping on the baby's head. It didn't cry or anything.
Fast forward years later. The child is developmentally challenged. In his defense, they also have a daughter who is older and also has a learning disability. And no, this incident was never revealed to the parents.
49. Video Games Are More Important Than Being Ethical
So anyone who grew up in the '90s might be familiar with Toys R Us. Remember how their video game department used to be? They had pouches in the aisles that contained paper slips which were used to pick up the games at the front.
Anyways, Resident Evil 2 had just come out. I wanted this game. I get to the game aisle and there is a kid in a wheelchair reaching for the last Resident Evil 2 slip. It was placed up above his reach. While reaching for it, he was calling for his dad to come assist him. At that moment, I took my shot—I quickly walked up and snatched the slip then power walked to the front of the store to make the purchase.
While briskly walking away I heard the kid yelling behind me "You can't do that!! I was here first! Please..".
50. Don’t Ignore Me!
I was working long late-night shifts and came home around 5 am. I parked my car and heard some guy yelling for help because his mother wouldn't wake up—I live in a quiet neighborhood, so yelling was uncommon.
The guy doing the yelling was a bit mentally slow/challenged, and clearly in distress. I got out of my car and walked right past the guy begging for help and went to bed. One of the few regrets I have was not helping that guy.
Ron Lach , PexelsSource: ,
