Life is full of crazy occurrences. Sometimes things happen to us that are so outrageous no one even believes they are actually true. These Redditors tell some of their outlandish stories that will leave anyone reading thinking, “No way”! True tales are indeed the spice of life.
1. Caught Red Handed
We got unexpected revenge from someone who stole from us. When I was 12 and my brother was 17 or 18, he had the family truck, a 1968 maroon Chevy 2500. He worked retail in high school and was working late when the truck was taken from the store's lot. It was missing for about a week. We were all pretty sad since that truck had been in our family for a few decades. One day while the whole family was working on the farm, a person walked up the driveway asking to use our phone because they ran out of gas.
It was not an issue as we were nice country folk. We walked over to their vehicle—a deep maroon Chevy truck. I could feel the tension in everyone as we walked over. We noticed that it was identical to ours, down to the license plate. We may be simple but we weren’t stupid. My mom began asking some questions. She said, "Hey that is a really nice truck you have, what year is that"?
They answered, "Oh I think a 69; it's my grandpa's truck". As she was looking through the window into the torn-up ignition and the hose going from a gas can in the cab to the engine, my mom responded, "Oh no buddy, I think that's a 68. Do you wanna know why I think that"? The guys responded, "Yeah, why"? She then turned right to him and shouted, "Cause it is my truck"!
The guy began to stammer and tried to stutter his way out but it wasn’t working. There really wasn’t anything that could be said to defuse the situation so he bolted, leaving his female partner behind. She soon followed and they ran down the road. I went and got my brother who then jumped on his motorcycle and went flying down the road, but he didn't find them.
We got the truck into the garage and waited for my dad to cool off. They'd been using the truck to transport garbage and stuff so they had 4–5 bags full of mail, documents, receipts, etc. and we went through every scrap. The truck had three gas tanks and they couldn't figure out how to switch them, so they tore the carb up and rigged the gas can and hose. We called the authorities and we picked them out of a lineup, but nothing ever happened. We like to think the truck wanted to come home.
2. A Puddle Of Cash
I’ve never been able to explain this one. When I was in elementary school, my brother and I were walking home from school after it had rained all day. He started reaching his hand into all the puddles. I asked him what he was doing, His answer was bizarre. He said, "Sometimes there's money in these". Three or four puddles later, he pulled out a $20 bill. I’m not sure if he yanked it from somewhere else and "planted it" or if it was legit. Either way, I now check puddles for treasures when there are no witnesses.
3. I One-Upped Mr. Miyagi
This is the coolest thing I’ve ever done. When I was 15 years old, I was in my kitchen, home alone, cutting a pineapple. There was a fly that was buzzing around my face for two minutes and it was getting really annoying. So, just for the heck of it and out of pure blind rage, I grabbed my blade and swung it at the fly in mid-air. I sliced the fly in half. Sliced it in half! After I did that, I immediately realized no one would ever believe me.
4. Why Did The Duck Cross The Road?
I still laugh when I think about my husband’s bizarre encounter. On the way to visit a friend, my husband and I got lost on a highway in Pennsylvania. By some weird chance, my husband's friend drove past us in the opposite direction. We saw him and turned around to catch up to him. Finally pulling over, we were standing on the side of the road—a two-lane highway—discussing the directions to the friend's house.
Surrounding us were farms with corn and other various crops. Out of nowhere, a duck appeared on the opposite side of the road. He was looking at us curiously while we were talking. We watched him look both ways and waddle across the road to where we were standing. There were cars honking at him as they attempted to drive past.
The duck went over to my husband, pecked at his shoe once, and then promptly walked back across the street dodging cars that were traveling at highway speed. He made it back across the street and disappeared into the crops. He risked his life to peck my husband's shoe and simply waddled out of our lives.
5. Friendly Fire?
This was the most terrifying experience of my life. When I was 16, I was walking home and a car pulled up behind me. Inside were four guys in balaclavas and a gun pointing out the window. The piece went “click”! I jumped over a hedge and ran at lightning speed to the sound of some guy yelling, “Wait. We're not going to harm you”! It was not likely a prank, but rather friendly neighborhood terrorists…I lived in Ireland
6. Hairy Bush Baloney
Years ago, I was really into humorous Wikipedia vandalizations and thought it would be funny to claim that kiwi fruit was once called “hairy bush fruit”. So, I modified the page on kiwi fruit to say so. I cut and pasted some random Chinese characters from elsewhere in the article and put this in, “Hairy bush fruit 毛木果 máo mù guǒ”. I never expected what would come from it.
Since then, it has been repeated all over the place and currently returns 61,000 hits on Google. It has been printed in The Guardian, which means it is now a 100% verifiable fact and will quite likely never be removed from the offending article, which is kind of a scary implication. The Guardian journalist who wrote that article should have noted that Wikipedia was used as a reference, but didn't.
7. The Palm Reader
I still can’t explain this, even years later. Years ago I was being a teenager, locked in my room and feeling depressed about this girl. My friend told me the next day, "I saw you". She described my room and my position. She even told me I wasn't in my bed but in someone else's. I shared a room with my brother at the time, and she was right, I was laying down in his bed. Freaky stuff.
She used to read our palms. One day she read my girlfriend's hand and she stopped suddenly. She invented an excuse and left. Two years later, my girlfriend's dad passed. She came to the funeral and told me she knew. She decided that day she read her palm that she would never do it again. I asked her about all of this a couple of years ago and she said she lost her powers. She didn't seem upset; she just moved on from them.
8. How I Met Your Mutt
I was on my way to the bus when I saw this dog calmly walking about. He approached me, I petted him a bit and went on my way. For some reason, he kept on following me. There were other people around us, but he kept on walking behind me. The bus station was by a busy street. I hoped to shake him off by the time I got there, but I didn’t.
I wasn't sure what would happen if I got on the bus. Would he run after it? Would he hop on the bus? The stop I intended to hop off on was another heavily trafficked place. Neither of the options looked good, so I did the only thing I could think of—I headed home. On the way, I called my dad and told him a dog was following me.
He laughed, thinking it was my way of trying to skip school. He went along with it though, promising to drive us to the nearby dog shelter. Imagine his surprise when I came home with a dog. So, we drove to the dog shelter, where we had to turn him in. A week or so later, we got a call.
The shelter said that no one had claimed the dog or reported him missing. My dad wanted a dog—a different breed though—but seeing as this fellow had followed me around he figured, "Whelp, this is the dog". And that is how I met and ended up with my dog.
9. Ring Toss Regret
I took my 5-year-old neighbor to a carnival at my old elementary school—never expecting I would pull the coolest move of my short lifetime. Working the ring toss was Kristen, this super-hot 19-year-old girl who used to flirt with me in the sixth grade. We hadn’t seen each other since we were 12, because she and I went to different high schools, but we immediately recognized each other. The ring toss had about a hundred two-liter Coke bottles; 20 of them were painted blue and five were painted red.
Kristen and I did the preliminary, "Hi, wow, haven't seen you since forever" thing, and I was pretty dumbstruck with how gorgeous she turned out. Ryan, my 5-year-old neighbor, was tugging at me to play the game. He wanted me to win him something. I gave in, handed Kristen $3 for five rings. These rings were SMALL with the inner diameter only barely bigger than the neck of the bottle, so it's nearly impossible to get them to stick.
They were also made of some super-light space-age plastic, so they bounced like crazy. Getting any one ring on a BLUE bottle won a small prize, getting any one ring on a RED bottle won a large prize. Kristen smiled at me, and told me good luck. One by one, without even aiming, I threw the rings into the air. They flew perfectly flat, without wobbling, and the first ring nailed a red bottle. Then, at that very moment, every planet in the universe happened to align.
My second, third, fourth, AND fifth rings all landed on the exact same bottle. As each one landed, the next was already in the air. It was like I couldn't even be bothered to aim. All five rings landed on the exact same red bottle within the span of about four seconds. Even better, the entire time I was throwing them, I was making direct eye contact with her.
Kristen's jaw hit the floor, and Ryan was hyped up with glee. A feeling of superhuman power rocketed through me like a lightning bolt, and for above five long seconds, none of us could even speak. When I could finally talk, I asked, "What do I get"? "Wh-Wh...What do you WANT"? Kristen stammered, looking up at me totally starstruck. At that precise moment, I was a demi-god.
I now realize I could've said absolutely anything and it would've been granted. I could've asked her out; I could've asked for her phone number; I could've probably grabbed her around the waist, pulled her close, and planted one right on her lips. But instead, I said the seven most regrettable words of my entire life".
I'll take that ninja-turtle right there". "The blue one," Ryan chimed in happily. And just like that, the window of opportunity slammed shut. With a trance-like slowness, Kristen reached up and handed this kid a giant stuffed Leonardo doll. My heart sank; the moment had passed. She collected the rings from around the neck of the two-liter bottle and smiled as we waved goodbye. I shuffled across the gym in bitter disappointment, ready to ram my head into the concrete wall until Ryan pulled me in the direction of the balloon game.
10. Fifth Of July Freakout
One July 5th, my friends and I were setting off some extra fireworks—but it turned into the weirdest night ever. I lived on the North Shore of Long Island, right on the Sound, which is pretty hilly. We had about a 1/4 to a 1/2 mile walk on the side of a sand dune cliff to a clearing where we could set off the fireworks. There was a narrow path with some small brush on the left with about a 100 ft drop off and deep woods to the right.
The area on the right of the trail was the woods before the state park which must be 2–3 miles deep at least. It was about 3 AM and we were done with the fireworks and started walking back. The beach/cliff was now on the right and the deep woods were on the left. All of a sudden, we heard some ruffling of leaves in the woods.
We took about ten more steps and we heard the same noise again, except now it was much closer. We all shut up and picked up our pace a little. Twenty feet later, the sound was right on top of us and a man—probably in his 50s—stepped out right in front of us. The man was in a brown pinstripe suit, with a matching top hat, a black briefcase, and those kinds of glasses that Roosevelt wore.
He then said, "Well good evening boys, how are you tonight"? We hauled it out of there and never looked back. I have no idea what the guy was doing, but it still terrifies me to this day.
11. Prima Donna Deion?
When I was about 7 years old, I was watching a minor league game and asked Deion Sanders for a hello, that was it. He waved me off and, somehow, "What a prima donna" came out of my mouth. The look on his face when he stared at me was priceless. Years later, when he was ending his career with Dallas, I was waiting for a flight out.
He had a huge posse holding up the line, so I yelled, "What prima donna is holding up the line”? When all the people parted in front of me, I couldn’t believe me eyes.
Deion Sanders was staring back at me. Then a hint of recognition hit his face, and he went back to talking to the ticket lady with a quizzical look.
12. Bashed By Bambi
I was walking down my driveway to wait for the school bus when I was in middle school. I noticed a cute little fawn maybe ten yards away. I was just thinking how cute this little guy was when its mother came crashing through the woods, headbutted my hip, and then hauled back through the trees with its baby. I had a bruise on my hip for a week and no one would believe how I got it.
13. A Whizziard’s Compliment
When I was about 16, I was in a restaurant in Melbourne with my cousin. I noticed a young guy eating with his family. I said to my cousin, "Haha, hey look it's Harry Potter", because of his similarities to Daniel Radcliffe. My cousin replied, "Uhh, that is Harry Potter". It was. He was in Australia filming an Aussie movie.
A bit later, I went to the toilet. While I was at the urinal, Daniel came in and began to pee in the urinal next to me. I looked over at him and we made eye contact. When I tell people what he said next, no one believes me.
He told me: "Nice wand", finished, washed his hands and walked out. No one has ever believed this and only my cousin can vouch for the fact that we saw him, but not for what he said in the toilet.
14. Powers Unite!
When I was a wee little thing, about six or seven, I loved the Power Rangers. This was when the Power Rangers first came out. They were all that was good and right with the world and I was a member of their fan club. I was in the Discovery Zone and I saw them. The Power Rangers had shown up for some kid's birthday in a private room. I begged, and pleaded with my father to let me meet them.
However, he told me that I couldn't go in there because it wasn't my party and I didn't know anyone and they would toss me out. In theory, he was right. Well, as we walked away, my little feet trudged my body back to the door. I cracked it open and slipped into the private room where other kids were having a blast and the Power Rangers were talking to everyone equally.
I got to meet them, shake their hands, and give them all hugs and it was probably the defining moment of my life up until that point. My dad looked mortified but walked into the private room in an attempt to fetch me and apologize, but lo and behold, no one really cared that I was there. No one seemed to notice that I didn't know anyone, and none of the parents seemed to notice that no one knew my father.
In hindsight, most of the parents probably didn't know each other and were at the party just to be with their kids. I had met the actual Power Rangers, not some people dressed in Power Ranger costumes, but THE actors who played them on TV. At the time, I didn't even understand the concept behind actors, so to me, these guys WERE the Power Rangers and when they left, they would go back to fighting monsters.
I spent an hour with some random kids who became my friends, and the Power Rangers before I got tired, and wished everyone goodbye. They waved back like we'd been friends forever. The other kids were friendly, the Power Rangers were awesome people, and the parents all seemed chill about it.
15. Shadow In The Hall
About a year ago, I woke up in the middle of the night. I turned my head—and what I saw made my blood run cold. Someone was standing in the hallway outside my room. I was petrified and absolutely gripped with fear. I couldn't even move to reach my phone which was sitting all of six inches away. I lay there thinking I was going to be harmed at any moment, but it never happened. I never heard a single noise despite straining to.
By the time I worked up the courage to look again, no one was there. I don't even bother telling the story anymore because I feel so stupid from the reactions I get. I'm not easily spooked and I didn't make it up. No, it wasn't a shadow, no I wasn't still asleep and I didn't dream it, no it wasn't a closet door or a stack of laundry or a dog or some sort of reflection. It was a human being in my hallway.
16. Pennies From Heaven
I got a call from an officer telling me if I didn't pay some old fines within a week, he would come and take me into custody. The total was $267.63. It was about two weeks before Christmas, so I was really sweating it. The very next day, I got a check in the mail for $267.63 for overpaid child support throughout the year. It was the craziest, most unexplainable thing I've ever had happen to me.
17. I Nocked Her Out Once And For All
When I was in middle school, there was this beast of a girl who bothered me constantly. She even dragged me around by my hair once. Obviously, I hated her, but I couldn't do much with teachers and parents around, plus I was smaller than her. However, I got her back at school camp. We went to this place that had an archery range and log cabins.
Archery was my thing, and I was pretty good. I stayed behind in the early evening to practice there by myself; the staff trusted me. So I was there by myself and the beast was walking alongside the range and spotted me. She started bellowing some of her nastiness at me. I tried to ignore her; I didn't think she'd come on the range while I was actively firing stuff.
She decided instead that hopping the fence was an excellent idea and told me she was going to beat me for ignoring her. At that point, she was about 100 meters away. I was pretty mad and scared, but more angry because I was sick of her nonsense. I still had an arrow nocked and told her, "I will [nail] you in the face. Go away”, but of course, the beast kept charging. I knew what I had to do.
So I nailed her and ended up taking off a chunk of her freaking EAR. This scared the daylights out of her enough that she ran off to do me in, but nobody believed her. She never bothered me again.
18. From Rod To Reel
When I was about 11, I went to this big children's fishing festival where all the kids in attendance got their names put into a hat, then drawn out to determine which guide they were paired with. Lo and behold, my name was first, so my brother and I got to go with the number one guide, who happened to be a professional fisherman or something.
The guy was the only guide to come with his own cameraman; an actual cameraman tagged along with us. So apparently this guy was a somewhat famous fisherman and my brother and I were filmed every time we reeled in a fish. The guide told us we may make it into one of his videos or even onto a fishing TV show, but he didn't know for sure.
One day I was sitting there watching ESPN on a Sunday morning, before church, and there I was with my little brother catching a walleye. Of course, my parents were getting ready and my brother was in the shower, so no one else saw it, but it was nuts. This was before DVRs or anything and I had no idea it was coming, so I couldn't set up a recording. I was on ESPN for about 30 seconds—probably the pinnacle of my fame right there.
19. I Couldn’t Dodge The Dimple Drive
When I was about 8 years old, my dad and I were throwing the Nerf Whistler football out in the yard. My dad had quite the arm back in the day, so when we got done throwing around, he decided he wanted to send a laser right in the back of his truck from about 30 yards away. Naturally, I began to run inside. That’s when disaster struck. Dad accidentally hit me so hard with the Whistler that it left a permanent dimple on the side of my face.
Lucky for me though, it hit me square in the jaw where normal dimples usually are. That is probably the source of why people don't believe me but it actually happened! Hearing that high-pitched whistle coming directly for my face was absolutely terrifying.
20. A Tale With Perfect Timing
My friends and I were sitting in my apartment and my buddy, Asian Nate, began telling a disgusting story. Nate was a horrible storyteller. In the middle of his story, my other buddy, Jeremiah, got up to use the restroom. Asian Nate was sitting in a La-Z-Boy recliner that was in the corner of the living room.
The restroom that Jeremiah was visiting was at the opposite end of the room and a few feet down a hallway. If I had to wager, I'd say the door to the restroom was a good 20 feet from the recliner. Nate rambled for long enough that Jeremiah had time to take a leak, wash his hands, and step back into the hallway to hear the end of the story.
Evidently, Jeremiah's hands were feeling a bit chapped and he decided to grab the economy-size bottle of Jergens lotion from our bathroom. He stood in the hall while applying said lotion to hear the end of Asian Nate's story. I guess Jeremiah lubed his hands up a little more than expected and just as Asian Nate was delivering the punchline to his story, Jeremiah lost his grip on the Jergens bottle.
The miracle of physics that then took place is hard to do justice. The bottle did a perfect 180-degree inversion landing pump down on the floor. A stream of Jergens lotion was ejected at near light-speed and landed, some 20 feet away, directly in Asian Nate's eye. If I live to be 100, I will never see a more serendipitous series of events. It was magical.
21. Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda…
It was the eve of a winter holiday and I had been busy taking care of household chores and lost track of time. Before I knew it, there were only three minutes left for me to drive to my usual gas station in order to pick up my weekly lottery tickets. I decided there was no way I could possibly make it in time, even if there were zero cars on the road within those measly four blocks.
The following morning, I checked the winning numbers and compared them to the numbers I had handwritten and left on my nightstand. What I saw was devastating. If I had been paying attention that night and gotten off my behind before it was too late, I would have won $150 million dollars. It was one of the most crushing moments of my life.
22. A Series Of Unfortunate Events
My two sisters, mother, cousin, and I went to London to watch Cirque du Soleil for my cousin’s birthday. The weather was seriously bad that day due to storm Eunice, so our long-awaited train was canceled as a trampoline had fallen in the tracks.
Because we were so late, we decided it was best to wait until the 7:30 evening show. So we were in London for four hours until the show was to start, trying to fill our time. We finally got to the theater and saw the show, which was amazing.
On our way home, we needed to get an Uber to the train station, however, they all kept canceling on us. Therefore, we ended up paying for a taxi which we were initially hesitant to do, as they're expensive. The taxi man gave us £5 off randomly, and we were on our merry way on the train to Burnt Oak station where we’d parked our car. However, the train stopped at every single station except for Burnt Oak, the second to last station.
This meant we had to stop at the last station and get an Uber back to Burnt Oak. The Uber took ages to come, but it finally did and when we arrived at Burnt Oak, it was a crime scene. Devastatingly, an attack had occurred on the street of the station where our car was parked. We were then led to our car by an officer and we safely made the journey home. I will never forget that day.
23. Communist Celebration
I was walking along one day and a thought hit me like a ton of bricks. It seemed to come from somewhere or somehow other than the way other thoughts randomly enter your consciousness. It hit me so hard that it made me stop suddenly in my tracks. The thought was a single name—Mao Zedong. I shrugged my shoulders and moved on.
The next day, I went to a convenience store and saw a newspaper. The headline stopped me in my tracks. It was three inches high saying, "MAO DIES", with a sub-headline, "News Doesn't Reach US for 24 Hours". I did some quick math and the time of the random thought from the day before was about one hour after he passed.
24. This Story Takes The Cake
My great-great-great-grandpa was Earl Bordeman, who created the quick cake mix. He liked trying to invent things as a hobby. He was in his kitchen when he thought of an idea—why not find a way to make a cake that needs only eggs and milk, instead of an assortment of other ingredients? My grandpa invented an easy quick mix in his kitchen.
He saw nothing of it and gave it to his close friend Marjorie Husted. After seeing potential in it, she stopped talking to my great-grandpa and found herself as the inventor. A few years ago, my mom, whose side of the family the inventor belongs to, tried contacting Betty Crocker, Inc, just to get an honest certificate stating what we say is true.
They won't talk, or even acknowledge our attempts to contact them, so I'm stuck with my 100% honest word. Growing up, I got teased when I told people the story, stating I was lying, but my family knows that it is true. It doesn't really affect me much, but if my grandpa had simply patented the quick mix, and asked for shares in the company, I could have been a gazillionaire.
25. I’m Not Rolling With Her Story
I was at Ikea with several of my college friends. My best friend and I were behind the group and got in the elevator to go down to the parking garage separately. In our elevator, there was a cinnamon roll on the floor. Someone had clearly dropped it recently, as the icing wasn't even smudged. My friend dared me to eat a bite.
I refused. So she leaned over and pulled a piece off the top and ate it. I was all like, “Gross. I'm telling everyone how gross you are”!! But she was about to turn on me in the most annoying way.
The elevator opened and she shouted to everyone that I had eaten a cinnamon roll off the floor, and everyone believed her! This was years ago and even now if I bring it up to her, she claims it was me who ate the cinnamon roll. I DID NOT.
26. Creature In The Night
I was driving back from a wedding in Northern Wisconsin with my ex-girlfriend in the summer of 2010. It was about 10 PM, so there was no one else on the small highway and it was actually quite peaceful. Then, I came out of a winding turn and saw a big tan creature on the side of the road. It was way too big to be a cat and it definitely wasn't a dog.
I tapped my girlfriend on the arm and said, "Babe, babe, did you see that"? She replied, "No, what was it"? I told her, "I think I just saw a mountain lion". She then laughed lightly and said, "Baby, you're just tired, there aren't any mountain lions up here". I kept my eye on the rearview mirror, but it was too dark to see anything.
I know I saw a mountain lion, but neither she nor her family believed me. A few years later reports started coming in about more sightings, which makes me believe even more that it was indeed a mountain lion that I had seen.
27. The Sweet Taste Of Victory
Back in 10th grade, my buddy, James, and I were hanging out in the ROTC room with one of the cool teachers before classes started for the day. As we got ready to leave, I cracked open a Coke as we were heading out the door to our first-period class. The mean teacher across the hall came out in time to see me drinking in the hallway.
She proceeded to yell and threaten to write me up for drinking in the hallways, because we all know any food or drink in the halls usually ends up everywhere when it comes to teenagers.
James and I laughed at her and blew her off. As I was turning back around, I tripped over my own feet. I could feel her beady eyes boring into the back of my head, and knew I was done for.
Instinctively, I jutted out my hands to catch myself, and left my Coke to its own fate. James had turned to see what had happened to me, and witnessed everything. Somehow, I managed to not fall on my face, but took three massive steps and got my balance back. While doing so, some small part of my mind was screaming “Save the Coke and forget about your face”!
In a blur, I threw out my hand three times, hitting the Coke can each time, sending it spinning end over end, and snatched it out of the air—but that’s not the most amazing part. Not a drop spilled. I heard their jaws hit the floor with my own. I looked back at the snarky teacher, popped a nod at her, took a swig of victory cola, and kept on walking. James promptly exploded laughing about how awesome it was to watch that happen.
28. The Government Did It
My grandfather was in the Navy in the 1950s, and he participated in Operation Castle, the nuclear tests at Bikini Atoll. One of these experiments involved him riding on a plane through a mushroom cloud. Afterward, he was sterile for five years before having my dad. My dad is missing part of a chromosome and developed multiple myeloma as a result. He's doing well after treatment, but he could potentially redevelop it. Basically, the government gave my dad cancer.
29. Teenage Knock Up
My friend got a girl pregnant when he was 13 and the girl was 15. They met at the beach in Panama City, Florida. She was rich and lived in Ohio, he was "poor" and lived in Georgia. My friend never told anyone but me. He is now 28 and has a 15-year-old kid only I know about. The only reason he got away with it was that this girl's family was super rich.
The girl never said who the guy was and would sometimes fly down to visit him in secret. I did not believe this story until I saw pictures of his kid. His kid has never met him either and I do not think he even knows my friend exists. I always daydreamed that if my friend lost his life, I would have to tell his parents that he actually had a kid and they have been grandparents for 15 years and never knew it.
30. Palming A Pike
When I was 15–16 years old, I was lying on my stomach on a deck with my hands perfectly still in the water. I had forgotten my fishing rod at home and was bored out of my mind. So there I was arms in the lake and staring at the water when I saw this pike go in between my hands. I grabbed him as strong as I could and managed to get him out of the water. I actually caught it barehanded. My mom was puzzled when I got back with a fish in hand, but she refused to believe me.
31. Life Imitating Art
When I was fifteen or so, I was outside on the swings. There was a storm looming at the time, so the playground was completely empty. I was swinging away as I looked up into the sky and then I saw it. A flying saucer. A real UFO. I skidded myself to a halt and ran out into the field to watch it better. My eyes weren't fooling me. There was a flying saucer right there. It was about the size of a dime from my vantage point of view.
It looked exactly as it did in the 1950s sci-fi flicks. It was metallic, circular, and had that dome coming out of the bottom center. The only difference between the one I saw and those in the movies was that they didn't fly in a straight line. This one was kind of oscillating left and right surfing through the air. I watched it for a good minute until it disappeared into the clouds.
I ran home which was only a block away from the playground. I barged into the house and screamed at my dad about what I saw. Fate must have been mocking me at that moment because there was an episode of That 70s Show running. It was THAT episode where Kelso swore that he saw a UFO and convinced everybody to watch the sky with him.
In the end, he found out it was only some plane lights or something like that. My father looked at me for a moment, then he looked at the episode for a moment, and he just lost it. He laughed uncontrollably in my face. I didn't know what to think or do at that moment. I knew how ridiculous this whole thing looked, then I just lost it and laughed out loud. I spent the next hour trying to convince my dad that I actually saw a UFO. To this day, I still tell this story to people, but nobody ever really believes me.
32. Horsing Around In The Hood
I had a friend who lived in a neighborhood that you had to go through a very rough area of town to get to. There were blighted lots, shady apartments that had been raided multiple times for trafficking and dope, and a gambling den and store with an equipped guard. One night, I was leaving his house after a party sometime around two in the morning.
As I was driving through the bad part, I looked over and saw a guy riding a horse without a saddle on the sidewalk. I don't know how anyone in that neighborhood could even obtain a horse, let alone where they would keep it in a complex of tiny slummy apartments. No one believes my story, and sometimes I wonder if I believe what I saw, but I can't forget it.
33. What In Tarnation Is That?!
One summer I worked at a ranch with four friends of mine near the Ibapah Indian Reservation where my cousin owned a trading post. There was about a half mile of dirt road from the store to the main road. On the road, there were some lines of tar just like you normally see all the time on roads. A little way down the road there were some three or four names written in the tar.
The only name I remember is George Cooks. George’s name was written a second time about half a mile down the road. One day we decided to find out who George Cooks was, so we decided to start at the cemetery. We found one grave that had the name "George C"; it was for an infant, not more than nine months old. We were pretty creeped out until we found another gravestone that had the name "George C. Cooks" who was about 30 or so when he passed.
About a week later, everybody but me went home for one reason or the other. About 20 minutes after they left, I started burning boxes in the fire barrel. Later in the day, the guys came back and joined me at the fire. One of the guys across from me pointed to the barrel and said, "Where did you get the tar for that"? Confused, I walked around to his side and saw it. I felt chills down my spine.
On the side of the barrel was written in tar, "George" in the same style as the writings that were on the road, in fine lettering like it was written with a sharpie marker. I still can't convince them that it wasn't me, even though my handwriting sucks, and my cursive is even worse.
34. A Great Day With Green Day
I was brought up on stage at a Green Day concert to play drums. I dislocated my knee while heading to the stage and had to walk up a riser to the drum set, with my knee buckling with every step. I got to the drums and Tre Cool and his drum tech were considerate of the way I was hobbling and didn't want me to play. Billy Jo came back and asked what the hold-up was. They told them I busted my knee.
Billy's response into the microphone at a sold-out Bank Atlantic Center was "Broke his knee? Shake it off, man. It's time to play the drums"! So I did. I played a cover of "Knowledge" by Operation Ivy with Billy Jo Armstrong and Mike Dirnt. At the end of the song, I did a drum fill for which Tre called me a jerk, then he remembered I was injured and helped me down the riser.
I was taken backstage where the paramedics looked at my leg. Billy Jo's wife was there and was telling people to give me one of everything from the merch booth. The lawyers quickly moved her away and I didn't get anything except the drumsticks I played with, which sadly, I lost. Then it was just me and a handler, and she asked me if there was anything I needed.
I looked down the hallway and saw Jim Atkins talking to some guy. Jimmy Eat World had opened and I was a huge fan. So I asked, "Can I meet him"? She walked over to him, exchanged words, then came back. Her response was, "He said he would come by when he was finished talking. But in my experience, don't hold your breath".
Then, she left to get me water. I was talking to the paramedic who was hanging out with me when to my right Jim came out of nowhere, put his hands over my knee, and exclaimed, "GET OUT OF HIM SATAN! GET OUT"! He laughed and asked what happened. I told him the story and he said, "Seriously? You were brought on stage with Green Day and you broke your knee? That sucks"!
Then, he walked away, pulled up a chair, and hung out with me for 30 minutes until the end of the show when the staff tossed me out. It was 2005. I was 20 years old and it was the best concert of my life.
35. Runaway Golf Cart
Once, I was at an expo show and it was kind of late. Everybody was leaving and a couple of friends and I were hanging out at a bar that was open to where the people walked. All of a sudden, a golf cart came through at max speed, in reverse, and was being driven by a street kid, the kind that asks for money at the street lights.
He drove this thing into a married couple and I saw the woman fly and crash into a thorned bush. It was surreal. Then, I saw the kid being taken away by the expo security guards, crying. People don't believe me when I tell this story. I find it hilarious, and consider myself to be truly blessed for being one of the few people who had the chance to live such a big, weird moment.
36. Oh, Shih Tzu! There Goes The Dog!
I lived on a farm in the middle of nowhere when I was a kid. I was out doing my chores on a Saturday. Weeks prior, my mom came home with a Shih Tzu that was just out of place with our two big farm dogs—one was half-Rottweiler half Lab and the other a German Shepherd—and all the other animals. So, as I was feeding the chickens with my brother and my mom was tending the garden, I heard my brother drop his seed bag.
Then, my mom started to cry. I looked around confused when I saw my brother pointing to the sky. As I looked up, I saw the little pup clenched in the talons of a Golden Eagle flying away in the distance. My dad came home from work later and my mom told him about the ordeal. His answer was unforgettable. He simply responded by saying, "I guess God really does answer prayers".
37. Gone In The Blink Of An Eye
When my grandfather died, I didn't go to his funeral because I knew I couldn't handle it. I was pretty young, about 8 years old. A couple of weeks later, I absolutely hated myself and would always say in my mind, "I should have gone". I said it at least five times a day. Then one day, my brother and I were playing on the Wii.
When I turned around, my grandfather was sitting on one of the chairs in the room smiling. He said, "It's okay, it's okay. Everything will be alright". I started to tear up and I said, "Grandpa"? But, then I blinked and he was gone.
38. The Evil Had Landed
I was moving into an apartment with my girlfriend. As I was starting a load of laundry, she went to her car to get a few things. The instant she left, something was behind me. It felt like a purely evil and enraged energy was less than an inch from me. I couldn't move or call out. I was just standing there, and I sensed that it somehow got even nearer, then slowly raised up about another foot off the ground.
In my mind, I was screaming for my girlfriend to come back. After what seemed like five minutes, she walked in, and instantly, it was gone. I wasn't going to tell her because it was just too unbelievable. I turned to her, and she said I was pale, and there was a huge sweat puddle down the front of my shirt, so I told her.
She was nice enough to believe that I experienced something. Real, or in my mind, we'll never know, because, after that, nothing ever happened for the next two and a half years.
39. KISS And Tell
I was 16 and having a night out with friends at the bars. We were making our way to our next bar and a HUGE crowd had amassed. My hammered self was able to wedge through the crowd until I got to the middle. There stood KISS in all of their silvery glory. I fell at their feet because my legs quit working. I remember their shoes—platforms made of metal with spikes—were serious shoes.
I said something to the effect of, "Don't step on me. You'll kill me", and then I was being lifted up by either Gene Simmons or Paul Stanley. I said something about "Phantom in the Park" and was held by my collar as I was berated about my underage drinking. I was then handed to my friends who ushered me away from the crowd and from KISS.
40. Wrongfully Accused
When I was little, my younger brother and I were always staying with babysitters during the day. This one time, we were with the same babysitter for a few months. As soon as we got to her house, I would hang my and my brother's coats on the coat hangers that were strategically placed right before the basement stairs. My brother was too little to reach the coat hangers, so I would have to hang his for him.
One day, he got this stubborn idea that he wanted to hang his own coat. I remember being nervous, but I let him try anyway. Big mistake. He picked the hanger that was the closest one possible to the top of the basement stairs. As he was on his tiptoes, struggling to reach the hanger, he suddenly fell over and down the basement stairs.
The babysitter heard him crying, then accused me of pushing my baby brother down the stairs. She told my mom about it later. To this day, no one believes me that I didn't do it. I would never hurt my little brother.
41. Party Mama
I was in Sao Paulo, Brazil, on a business trip. The night before departure, I wanted a drink but the lounge of the hotel was closed for a private party. I didn't want to go out of the building alone at that time, so I started talking to one of the private guards. Then this lady came closer and asked if there was a problem.
I explained to her I was hoping to get a drink but didn't want to bother. She started speaking in very good English and explained to me the event was a party after a wedding. She was older than me, probably late forties, but very good-looking. She asked me if I wanted to join her upstairs for a drink and she brought me to her room.
We spent 30 minutes banging on every possible surface until she told me she had to go back to the lounge. I asked her why the hurry and she told me she was the mother of the bride. I felt like I was in a Mastercard advertisement.
42. A Night Of WrestleManiacs
I was working at a bar with a girl who used to be married to a pro wrestler. One night, the British Bulldog, Sid Vicious, and Macho Man Randy Savage come in for drinks and to say "Hi" to her. They ended up hanging out all night and got loaded. She then told me that they were looking for some dope. I called my dealer at the time, and he dropped some off. Another bartender and I were invited to go drinking with them after our shift. I never could’ve predicted how that night ended up.
I ended up going in a limo with Sid and Macho Man back to their hotel where we witnessed Mean Gene Okerlund with some 20-something girls. The best part of the night, and maybe my life, was when we pulled up to a stop light and Macho Man stuck half out of the sunroof next to a group of people waiting to cross the light and screamed, "SNAP INTO A SLIM JIM”!!! He scared the daylights out of about half of them, and then the cheers erupted. I still chuckle about it to this day.
43. Aye Chihuahua!
When I was 12 years old, I owned a chihuahua named Taco. We named him this because he looked identical to the famous Taco Bell dog on the commercials. One day at home on the Gulf Coast of Florida, I took Taco out for a little walk so he could go to the bathroom. Chihuahua's legs are so short that if they run away, you can literally go catch them without a problem, so leashes aren't required.
Taco was minding his business and being the 12-year-old boy that I was, I got distracted by a pair of lizards humping on a nearby tree. I noticed a shadow fly by and then heard a little "Yelp"! When I turned around, I was stunned. Taco was in the talons of an eagle—or hawk—flying away into the sunset. I then proceeded to scream, "Taco, NOOOOOOO", but I couldn't do anything about it. I walked inside and told my mom and she still doesn't believe me to this day. I miss my Taco.
44. Later, Gator
I went fishing in the Florida Everglades with my father and a guide when I was 7 years old. I still had this little blue Snoopy fishing pole because the adult ones were too big for me. I caught a huge bass and was in the process of reeling it in when the biggest alligator I had ever seen came swimming in from the left. It went for the bass and our guide had to rip his hand away from pulling it into the boat, to prevent losing it.
The gator took the fish and thrashed around, trying to pry it from the line for over a minute. I had to hold the pole because my dad was too busy taking pictures and yelling, "HOLY JESUS CHRIST". The line finally snapped and the gator swam off. We got home and told everyone, but they said we were full of it. We tried to develop the film, but my mom had loaded it in backward before we left, so we came back with no pictures at all. Sadness.
45. Famous First Words
The night I was born, my father had a massive seizure and collapsed. That’s when doctors made a disturbing discovery. It turned out he had a brain tumor the size of a golf ball and it was swelling. So, while my mom was in labor they were prepping my dad for brain surgery. This was back in the 1970s. It wasn’t the Stone Age, but it also wasn’t the awesome future we live in now.
Before he went under, my aunt told him that my mom was in labor and anecdotally told him that whatever he went under anesthesia wanting the most is the first thing he'd ask for when he woke up. I beat him out of surgery by about an hour or two and was chilling in the hospital nursery by the time he came to. When he woke up the first thing he asked for was a steak.
46. A Dog’s Life
Once when I was a kid, my uncle and I were visiting a friend of his at the convenience store where he worked, a few blocks from our house. There was this Rottweiler there, and he followed us home. This being the 1980s, we figured he'd been abandoned and thought we would just keep him. Abandoned dogs were nothing unusual in this town even now.
A couple of weeks later, we went with the dog to the park across from the convenience store. A dude was there and called the dog by name; the dog responded. Obviously, we'd found the owner. So the guy put the dog, Bear, in his car and we went to leave. Bear jumped out the window and followed us. The guy said we could have him since he obviously wanted to be with my uncle.
47. Scared Stiff In The Subway
I was coming home with a few friends late at night. While waiting for the subway to come, we took turns going to the end of the platform to pee behind a maintenance closet. The first guy went, came back, and said, "There's something strange back there". The second guy went, came back, and said, "Yea, there's something big wrapped in a garbage bag".
When I walked over to the closet, I saw something large wrapped in multiple garbage bags and tied up with duct tape. When I looked down, I saw the cuffs of some dirty pants and sneakers sticking out from the bottom of the bag. I was pretty trashed, but I had enough sense to realize that I was looking at a body. As the three of us were discussing what we just found, a nearby homeless woman overheard us. That’s when things got even scarier.
She said, "You shouldn't have seen that. He's going to be really upset when he finds out". She kept rambling on about how this man—who presumably stashed the body there—was going to come after us. Needless to say, we were freaked out and got out of there fast.
48. Sitting On The Razor’s Edge
When I was 15, my friend told me about how he shaved his hair down below and that girls liked it, so I thought I'd give it a try. The only problem was I didn't have a razor since I could barely grow any facial hair as of yet. So, I borrowed my mom's bright pink razor and locked myself in the bathroom to get going. I had just sprayed myself all over with shaving gel and had just taken the first swoop when the door came flying open.
My mom stormed in with her pants half down ready to pee and looked at me in horror as I was awkwardly positioned over the toilet with her pink razor filled with my hair.
My mom waited outside the bathroom and told me when I exited, "Never use my razor again, please". We never spoke of it again and I told my friends a while back but they didn't believe me because my mom denies it; she's a private religious woman. It was embarrassing, but when I look back on it, it was utterly hilarious.