When you’re a twin, life is full of awful, awkward, and downright annoying experiences. People misidentify you and you get in trouble for your lookalike’s actions, but on the other hand, twins can use their double to get out of relationships, homework, and so much more. These twin stories bring new meaning to the phrase “Double Trouble.”
Crazy Twins Stories
The Customer is Always Right
My brother and I worked together for about four years in retail. We would often get scheduled wrong and got so many, “you are in two places at once” comments. The most awkward thing was when I got yelled at by a customer for something my brother did. Just as the customer really started to lay into me, my brother appears from around a corner and asks the customer to stop yelling at me so he can help her.
The customer profusely apologized before following him.
My younger brother and I are only 14 months apart and we look very similar. One of his childhood friends came up and hugged me very intimately from behind. When I turned around, her jaw dropped for a good 20 seconds. The worst part is, my mom saw it coming but didn’t bother to stop her because “she looked so excited!” It was so awkward it makes me cringe.
A guy I work with has a twin brother who lives across the country. My co-worker’s twin works across the country and he took a video when he introduced his two-year-old son to his twin brother for the first time. The moment that kid saw his uncle, his eyes just got huge and he kept looking back and forth. You could see his tiny brain explode and then he just started crying.
My identical twin and I went to the same college. When I was taking a walk with my girlfriend, another girl approached me and said, “Oh, so this is why you didn’t want to call me back.” I didn’t know this girl, but it also didn’t register at the time that she was referring to my twin who I assume ghosted her.
I told this girl she must be mistaken, and she says, “No I know it’s you—we met in the dorms.” And then it clicked for me. So, I explained that she was confusing me for my twin brother. I thought I’d solved the problem, but things just got even more awkward. She clearly didn’t believe a word I was saying and thought I was just using the twin story to try to get rid of her.
I had her call “me” at the time and show her that my phone wasn’t ringing and that she was calling my twin. My girlfriend was upset at first, until she saw how ridiculous the whole thing was.
I dated an identical twin in college. At times, they suffered from what some call “Single Personality Syndrome.” They would do everything together– even simple things. They would wake up in the morning and say “what are we wearing today?” My girlfriend and her sister lived together. Now, the entire time we dated her sister was single. This, more or less, made her sister the third wheel in EVERYTHING we did.
One time, the three of us went on a 4-day cruise in the Caribbean. One morning, I got up and went to the gym and the girls went to breakfast. When I got back to the room, I saw my girlfriend in the bed. Thinking we had a brief moment of alone time, I climbed in, spooned her, started kissing her neck, and ran my hand up her shirt.
She turns her head, and to my horror, I realize that it’s her sister. I quickly backed away and said, “I. Am. So. Sorry.” She took it like a champ. She shrugged, smiled, and said, “it was bound to happen at some point.” She also alluded to the fact that this might have happened before with guys that came before me. As far as I know, she never told my girlfriend.
A Market Affair
A friend and his wife go to the same supermarket every week. His identical twin also goes there with his wife. One day, after summoning up the courage, the cashier pulls my friend’s wife aside and says, “I’m sorry to have to tell you this but I’ve seen your husband here several times with another woman.”
We’re brother-sister fraternal twins and one Halloween I dressed as her with high heels, dress and makeup. And she dressed as me. No one noticed before we started to talk, some of them freaked out, and others laughed.
Checking Out Two Copies
I was really good friends with a guy at university who was a twin. We had been flirting in the library all morning and then he left for lunch. Half an hour later he comes back and sits in the seat opposite me again. I start making faces at him and trying to play footsie but he’s unresponsive so I text him, “I didn’t think you were coming back to the library.”
He replied, “I didn’t?” Yep, turns out I was trying to flirt with his identical twin brother who I had never met. I left pretty fast after that.
One Slap, Two Slap
When we were in middle school, I was on the school bus and heard someone call my twin brother’s name. I turn and see his girlfriend extremely upset. She slaps me right across the face. I was just dumbfounded and didn’t say a word as she walked away. I passed the message along to him later with a much harder slap. Good times!
Like Father, Like Son
My dad and I look A LOT alike, sound the exact same, say the exact same things etc. My dad is also only 20 years older than me so before his gray hair started setting in, I’d thought it would be a smart idea to use his license one night to go pick up my friends and hang out. After dropping off my friends from our shenanigans a cop pulled me over, I used his I.D, grabbed the insurance and registration from the glove box, and tried to play it cool. Well, I didn’t play it cool enough.
The cop ended up giving me a ticket for speeding. So, to try and cover it up, I printed off a notice for him to show up in court along with the ticket in the mailbox “from” the police department thinking it’d be a simple in and out fight of the ticket. Dad shows up and says he has no clue what they are talking about and he wasn’t even out that night so it’s impossible for him to have gotten a ticket.
Well, the cop was there and swore up and down that it was my dad. It went to the extent of saying his voice even sounds the exact same as he remembered. Dad ended up putting 2 and 2 together to get 95 and that’s how I had to pay my dad back $95. Now he just lets me use his old ID when we go to restaurants to get beer because all they usually do is a quick glance at the date and photo.
Stealing the Spotlight
When my dad and his twin were in college, my dad was the lead in a show and my uncle came to see it opening night. My uncle saw his chance and while my dad was in the bathroom, burst through the curtains and said, “that’s it! I’ve had it! I can’t work with these people anymore,” and stormed off.
The director was basically floundering because nobody knew that my dad had a twin until my dad came back and once he saw everyone’s faces, basically said, “yeah, my twin is coming tonight. He messed with y’all, right?”
I had my boss get mad at me one time because I called out of my shift one night when I was really sick. He left work before the dinner rush and got some food at a different restaurant where my twin brother works. My brother told me that my boss went up to him and said something along the lines of, “why did you feel the need to make up you were sick just to go work at a second job? I’m not sure if I want someone who will lie to me to work for me.”
Needless to say, he didn’t believe my brother when he tried explaining that he is my twin. Most of my other coworkers have met my brother and backed me up when my boss was talking about it the next day.
Served with a Side of Judgement
I frequent a bar every week where all the servers know me and my husband who doesn’t come every week but comes enough that our regular waitress knows who he is. One evening husband’s identical twin brother and 8-month pregnant wife go to the bar for dinner. Cue several servers giving them some intense side eye and pretty terrible, downright rude service.
Brother-in-law says something like, “huh, that’s weird, Twin always says they have the best service here, pretty sure IdleEmber comes every week,” to his wife. His wife starts laughing and comments to the server, “hey, I think you know my husband’s twin and his wife. They come here every week!” The service greatly improved after that.
I joined the Peace Corps shortly after my brother became a marine officer and worked as a teacher in Eastern Europe. Over drinks at a dinner during my service with friends of my host family, one of the gentlemen tells me that he used to be a Soviet helicopter pilot and asks me if I’d like to see his uniform. He brings down the full outfit in all its medaled glory. We’re almost exactly the same size and he lets me try it on.
Thinking how cool this is, I post a picture online wearing it to show everyone. My brother calls me a few days later really angry because during his screening for a security clearance someone finds pictures of him wearing perfectly tailored soviet regalia. He yells at me for getting brass on his back and complains that he might get his clearance postponed. We still laugh about it.
I own fast food restaurants and one day my brother who is not in the business decided to come visit a few stores with me. Once we arrived, I had a brilliant idea. I’d go inside while my brother went through the drive thru. The girl at the window immediately gets surprised when he pulls up and she turned really fast and looked at me then him.
She was literally stuck in her mind frozen with this weird look on her face for a few seconds. She then turns to him and tries to mumble a sentence and then turns to me trying to say he looks like me but it’s coming out all wrong because her mind was too boggled. I immediately told her it was my twin brother because I thought she was having a stroke. She took a deep breath and then started laughing. I don’t think I’ll ever do that again!
To the Naked Eye
My father spent a year abroad before returning to enrol in the same college as his twin brother. The first few days were pretty standard, acquaintances of my uncle mistaking my dad for him, business as usual. That was until one girl approached him, publicly mind you, with a wink and said, “you were really great last night. I gave your number to a few friends. I hope you don’t mind.”
Naturally my dad went from there to immediately seek out and congratulate his brother on his good fortune and hopefully share in the spoils. On the way he found himself receiving a disproportionate level of sly smiles and sidelong glances from some of the groups he passed. By the time he finally found my uncle, he was thoroughly perplexed. Surely his brother couldn’t have been this lucky, they were good-looking guys, but this was just ridiculous.
My uncle flushed and faltered when confronted by my dad. He stammered and tiptoed around the issue before my dad finally got it out of him. How had he managed so prolific a penile pedigree? He hadn’t. It turns out my uncle had spent all his money in the first few weeks and had turned to desperate measures for cash. He had been working as a stripper, doing mostly private parties, but naturally word got around. So, for the rest of the year my father had to contend with the fact that a good number of the people on campus had effectively seen him naked.
Down to the Last Hair
My brother and I are one of the sets of twins who look exactly alike, get the same haircut and even our voices sound the same. And in 7th grade, I was minding my own business in class when someone joked that I wasn’t myself. Immediately everyone in the classroom and the teacher decided to investigate. Although I had all my papers with me and all my belongings, they came to the conclusion that we could have switched them.
So, these Harvard educated teachers did what they thought was best. They grabbed my brother from his classroom across the hall and started comparing us trying to make sure we were who we said we were. After numerous times of us assuring them we were in the right class, I couldn’t help but laugh.
There were now 50+ students are in the hallway trying to tell the teachers who each of us was. Needless to say, this ended with both of us in the assistant principal’s office with a stern warning to never switch courses.
My twin had recently joined the Navy and was at boot camp. I on the other hand was walking around the grocery store when a man came running up to me in a panic. He began to shout, “What in heaven’s name are you doing here?! You’re going to go to federal prison!” A bit shocked, I assumed it was just some crazy person and started to back away but he followed.
So, I said “Sir, I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He then proceeded to say my twin’s name and then I started laughing. He still very panicked and now angry asked why I thought this was funny. I explained I am such-and-such’s twin. He didn’t believe me until I finally pulled my I.D. out to prove I was who I said I was. He then apologized and explained he was her enlisting officer and was very concerned when he saw me.
My brother and I are years apart and resemble each other vaguely. We moved towns and after few years I was visiting my old town. I went to a store and the owner greeted me with some slang that should be used only with friends. I was shocked and he realized his mistake. He apologized profusely and told me how he was a close buddy of my brother.
But here’s the plot twist: After a year or so I saw him at a railway station. Jokingly I shouted the same slang to greet him. Confusion was written all over his face. I thought he forgot about our exchange and tried to remind him. He refused to know my brother. I apologized and moved on. Sometime later I mentioned this my brother who said, “he has an identical twin.”
I was dating a girl in college. The first time I went to her house, she opened the door. I told her I liked what she did to her hair and kissed her, she kissed me, we went inside, and then she then yells, “Your boyfriend is here!” to her twin sister…who I was actually dating. They were weird girls.
I currently live in Singapore and was out for dinner with my girlfriend at the time. My girlfriend quietly tells me that a woman taking covert pictures of me, so I look over.
She sees me notice her, comes over looking very angry, and angrily asks me what I’m doing and how I could cheat on my wife. I’m completely dumbfounded because I have no idea who this woman is or who she is talking about, so I just tell her that I’ve never been married. She proceeds to just stare at me, and then asks me, “wait, are you -name of my twin brother-.” Then I responded, “no, that’s my brother…”
At which point she proceeds to turn red and start apologizing profusely. It turns out this woman was on holiday and works with my sister-in-law. My brother was also on travel for work in China, not Singapore, and she assumed that he was lying to meet up with my girlfriend and cheat on my sister-in-law. It was an awkward experience but made for a good laugh at least.
I was visiting my twin at another college and was sleeping at his place when some random girl crawled into bed with me. She did not believe me when I insisted that I wasn’t him so we stayed until he got home from the bar. I’ll never forget watching the sinking realization in her face.
Suffer the Little Children
I had a coworker who had kids 5 years before his twin. He started looking so much older people just assumed he was an older brother. Guys at the gym would come up to him thinking he was the other brother and tell him he looked really bad. Other way around, too; guys would come up to his brother and tell him he looked great thinking it was my friend. The difference was crazy.
My twin and I being young and dumb decided to switch classes at school one day. We were in year 2. About 15 minutes into class we both realized that since we were in the other’s class, we could act up a bit because the other would be punished not us. This “brilliant” plan resulted in us both getting lunch time detention. Nailed it.
Instant Hair Growth
I went to a party once and my bald identical twin brother had yet to arrive. His girlfriend was already there, so I gave her the obligatory friendly hug, then sat on the other side of the room to hang out. This other guy, a mutual friend of his and hers, kept staring at me, then staring at her with this real nervous “what’s going on” look on his mug.
For about fifteen minutes, every so often, this guy would look around nervously and then furiously text on his phone. Then my brother arrives. He kisses his girlfriend and says hi to everyone, and this guy completely loses it. “JESUS WAS NO ONE GOING TO SAY ANYTHING? WHAT WAS THAT? I THOUGHT HE GREW A FULL HEAD OF HAIR IN A DAY.”
I’m a teacher and when I was student teaching there were twin girls. They were super cute and very hard to tell apart. I finally got to the point where I could tell which was which. One morning I confidently called them by their names, but they corrected me, I made note of what they were wearing and kept them straight the rest of the morning.
Well we were going over a lesson and I call on twin A, but she began to cry and said I’m not twin A I’m twin B. They decided that they were going to switch on us that morning, but then got upset when we called them the wrong name. We laughed so hard about it after the fact and their mom was appalled that they were already switching places in kindergarten!
Next Window, Please
My co-worker has two sets of twin daughters. The younger pair are identical and both work at the same McDonald’s. The manager often puts one on the pay window and the other on the food window just to mess with customers.
Skating on Thin Nice
I had a buddy from the skatepark who had a twin. This guy and I would always cuss at each other. One day I see him and walk up to him, “what’s up, jerk? The heck you dressed like that for? It’s not going make your busted face skate any better.” My friend looks at me and says, “excuse me?” So, I say, “you go deaf too, dummy?”
Then he gets in my face and starts asking what my problem is. I’m laughing the entire time thinking we’re playing a game until he shoves me hard. I fall backwards and look at him and yell, “Shawn! What are you doing, man!?” His face completely changed, “I’m Shane, dude. Shawn’s twin.” I didn’t know he had a twin. Next time I see Shawn he cracks up, “heard my brother almost beat you up.”
My dad is an identical twin. When I was 17 my older brother died. During the wake people kept walking up to my uncle and talking to him thinking that he was my dad. That was awkward.
It was also awkward when I was little and would get them mixed up. My siblings, cousins, and I called them Uncle Dad when the families were all together. Up until my dad got really sick, it was really hard to tell them apart unless they were speaking, thank goodness for regional accents.
The Forgotten Self
I’ve been called my twin sister’s name my whole life so one day I accidentally introduced myself to someone as her. When I caught and corrected myself after, they thought I was straight up crazy for not knowing my own name.
Adulteries Comes in Threes
I have some triplet friends who all still live in the same town. The funniest story was when all three of them impregnated their respective wives within a 2-year span. But that’s not even the crazy part: Then all three wives chose the same OB/GYN. The OB didn’t know the names of the husbands and only saw the last name of baby and the woman’s name.
All three said the OB was super rude and mean to them until finally triplet 1 and triplet 2 had appointments back to back. The OB came in and saw both of them, did a double take, and asked, “there’s more than one of you?” They of course replied, “yeah, there’s three. We’re triplets.” I guess this OB thought one guy had impregnated three different women and was just rolling with his adultery.
Teaming with Support
I used to work at a place with an extremely tight-knit, friendly work culture. It was not unusual to have folks go out for drinks after work and have 20 or 30 people show up. One day a co-worker pulled me aside and asked, “hey, is everything okay with your wife?”
I answered, “yeah, as far as I know, what are you talking about?” They answered, “don’t lie to me. A bunch of us saw you last night…” I replied, “what on earth are you talking about? All we did last night is stay in and drink beer and watch Netflix.”
“We saw you with your arm around that blonde lady at the Fox and Hound last night. If you’re going to cheat, why on earth would you do it THERE?” After a little bit of back and forth, it became clear that a large contingent of my coworkers had seen my identical twin mackin’ it with some woman at the bar that was our most common hangout. I had to get my brother out with all of them once just to convince them that I actually had a twin.
Not Even Close
My twin and I are fraternal, so we don’t look alike at all. He’s a guy, I’m a girl; he’s 6’1, I’m 5’5. You get the idea. So one day, while we were at an arcade, I got so excited when a couple comes by and asks “Are you guys twins?” I jump up, saying yes and thinking, “Finally someone realizes, how awesome!” Their faces are completely blank. My twin goes, “umm no I think they meant me and…our younger brother.”
It’s All Relative
I have brothers that are identical twins. My brother and I both had a bad time a few months ago, so we decided to go out for dinner. We got there and the waitress kept giving me just the dirtiest of looks. Finally, she looks at my brother and says something along the lines of, “wow, I can’t believe you are seeing other women while your girlfriend is on a mission trip.”
It turns out, the waitress was friends with our other brother’s girlfriend. The waitress got really embarrassed when my brother introduced us as “the twin and the sister.”
Night Life Troubles
My friend is the wild twin and the brother is very laid back. I live in a big town of 100,000+ people with plenty of pubs and clubs. My friend ended up getting barred from most of them over a period of a few months and then started drinking out of town, his twin didn’t know how bad it was until he was out one night with his wife and the bouncers let him in anywhere, much to his wife’s fury. Twin tried to tell the bouncers it’s not me, it’s my twin. It didn’t work.
It was eventually settled when he rang his brother made him come into town and go round ever bar to the bouncers and prove he wasn’t the banned twin. They took note of his ID, kept the ban on for my pal, and let his twin go on enjoying his night. One bouncer joked with them both and said he has heard that story hundreds of times and never thought he would see the day it was true!
My sister worked at Walmart for a few weeks before I started working there too. On my first day, she had an earlier shift and just as I was going to go in the back door she was coming out. No one knew she was a twin and here was an identical person trying to go through the door at the same time. Without thinking I yelled, “we are never supposed to be in the same place at the same time!” Then I ran away.
Everyone was freaked out. My other favorite thing to do was to mess with people she had just helped in electronics. They would ask “hey, didn’t I just see you?” And I’d answer, ” no, I’ve been here all day.”
Decade Debate Debacle
My parents were at a dinner party around 2000 and it came up in conversation that my dad has a twin. One of the couples at the dinner party looked at each other in absolute shock and the husband asked, “Was it possible that your twin was at Expo ‘86?” It turns out this couple thought they had seen my dad cheating on my mom at Expo ‘86 and actually it was my uncle there canoodling with my aunt.
They debated whether to mention it to my mom for over a decade. My dad always says he was wondering when that couple were always a bit standoffish with him. My parents have been married for almost 40 years. We still laugh about it.
Public Display of A-twin-tion
I’m married to an identical twin. When I was dating my wife, she and her twin sister had a bunch of friends over. I walked over to her and put my arm around her and she leaned into it. I leaned in for a kiss but then she pulled away. I thought, well maybe she’s not comfortable with a little peck in front of our friends since we hadn’t been dating for too long.
Then I scanned the room and made contact with my girlfriend. I looked back in awe that I had my arm around her sister who was messing with me until things went too far. I then tucked my tail between my legs, walked over to my girlfriend, put my arm around her and said, “well, will you give me a kiss?”
My twin and I went to different high schools for our junior year. We lived in the same city so we were only 15 minutes from each other. We always got together on the weekends and went to parties and such. We were at this one house party and with a number of our friends.
This dude comes up to me and gets right in my face asking if I had a problem. I had no clue who this guy was. I told him that I don’t know him and back off. He keeps going on about if I have a problem with him. My brother walks into the room gently moves me aside and said, “I have a problem with you. Leave my brother out of this.”
The dude was confused to say the least. A fight was avoided that night. I guess it started during school where they bumped shoulders in the hall and my brother didn’t apologize to the dude who was a senior while we were juniors.
One day I went into a Starbucks and the barista smiles at me and says, “Oh, didn’t I see you on the trail the other day? You had the cutest dog!” I don’t have a dog, but my twin brother does. So, even though I’m quite happily married, I flirted with her for a few minutes and just gave her my brother’s number.
I got my brother in trouble when with his First Sergeant when I went to pick him up from his base after flying home on R&R. I was still in uniform and had a friend pick me up and take me from the airport to his base, which are not that far from each other. After arriving to the base. I went to my brother’s unit and asked if he was around. They just stared at me like I was crazy.
Then one ran off to grab his Sergeant. It pretty much kept going until I made it to his First Sergeant. After making it to the First Sergeant. He lost it and started grilling me for not wearing the right patch and wearing a combat badge. I laughed and then told them that I was his twin. Right when I finish explaining the situation, he walks in. Watching their jaws drop and move their heads back and forth was priceless.
Not My Forte
My identical twin and I both attended the same university a long time ago, but had different majors so our daily schedules were completely different. School routines commence and I am attending music classes on a regular basis. I start chatting with a cute saxophone player. She and I are getting along swimmingly for a while, but soon I start noticing that she’s cooling off. I shrug it off as someone giving me the “back off, not interested” message and carry on with my other friends. Life goes on, so many fish in the sea.
Fast forward four years, it’s graduation day. My brother and I are dressed identically in our cap & gowns for the ceremony. We’re standing there, side by side while our proud parents are taking our picture. For adult twins, this is about as identical looking as you can get without coming across as creepy or lame. All of a sudden, I hear, “Oh. my. God… I thought you were the biggest snob! You talk to me in the band room like we were best friends and then ignored me in the science building like you didn’t want anything to do with me!”
Yes, it was that saxophone player. By this point, we’re both in different relationships and school is over, so there’s no real point to pursue anything. But it was certainly a good laugh and makes for a good anecdote.
When I was in high school, I knew twin girls that we’ll call S and F. Both of these twins played in the school band, one on the French horn and the other on clarinet. Another friend of mine became obsessive over S to the point of drawing her artwork and trying to give her gifts all the time. She didn’t want to hurt his feelings, but she confided in me that she felt uncomfortable with all of this. F, on the other hand, let me know that she outright hated this guy and thought he was a creep.
Fast forward a couple of weeks to our homecoming game and my friend decides he’s going to cross over into the band section of the bleachers and ask S out during a game of all times. I watch as he walks up to the clarinet playing twin and confesses his feelings to her and asks her out by name.
I can barely hear from where I was, but I make out, “…if you knew her at all you’d know I’m F, idiot,” followed by my idiot friend walking back, dejected. The sad part is that, not only did they play different instruments, S had long hair and F had much shorter hair. It’s painful how easy it was to tell them apart and he still failed.
Insult to Injury
My twin and I went to separate schools in the 7th grade. Mid way through the year I transferred over to my twin’s school. The day before I started my twin fell down in science class and hit their head and ended up going home. I start school the next day with the same science teacher.
I go to the front of the class because I’m new and I introduce myself. The teacher’s eyes got really wide. He starts freaking out and telling me that I’m Ash. My twin told NO ONE at their school that they had an identical twin. The teacher thought I was Ash with a head injury.
Twice the Fatherly Love
My twin and I wear our hair differently, but it also doesn’t help that we both have the same facial hair. Our kids who are 3 and under get confused all the time. Once, his kid came up to me and hugged me telling my son that, “this is my dada.” Then my son was telling him he was wrong, but my brother’s son insisted. I had to defuse the situation before my son was about to cry and explain how I was, in fact, uncle. Now, his son just calls me daddy #2.
Un-Jocking the Truth
In senior year I got partnered up with a twin for a class project. Both were in the “It crowd” and Twin A had just started dating a jock. While Twin B and I were walking to the other side of the building and talking about the project, this jock came out of nowhere and tried to punch me. I dodged but still took a 50% glancing blow to my ribs. He was yelling the whole time, “That’s my girl!” and other related comments. Twin B jumps in between of us and yells, “I’M TWIN B,” while pointing to Twin A 20 feet down the hall with two teachers behind her.
I was in a play in college and my brother was supportive enough to come to one of the performances with some other family members. The stage manager saw him and came up to say, “TheGingernational, what are you doing in the lobby? You’re supposed to be in the green room.” To which he responded, “Oh my god, I forgot all my lines!” She then remembered that I have an identical twin.
A family friend was in the air force and while in boot she became mortal enemies with another woman who would constantly try to one up everyone and win any argument for whatever reason. Our friend found her sleeping around with some other officers a few years later and got her discharged because of it.
10 or so years after that, our friend’s twin was walking around town on the opposite side of the country and this woman barges across the street and starts berating her for ruining her life and all this stuff. And the twin just laughed it off because she knew it was probably her sister’s fault.
Aisle Like to Tell You
I was grocery shopping with my husband who was about 10 feet away down the aisle. All of a sudden behind me I hear, “hey, [twin sister’s name]!” Before I have a chance to react, there’s a pair of arms around me giving me a tight bear hug and pulling me back. I screamed like I was stabbed, which caused my husband to run over.
The arms finally let me go and I turn around to see my sister’s former coworker who I have seen exactly once. He saw I wasn’t her and backed up so fast he nearly fell. Thankfully, my husband saw the humor in the situation and laughed until he nearly peed himself.
When we were kids, my twin brother and I were in separate classes for almost everything, having been unjustly split up since primary school. One year in secondary school, we had a schedule that meant one day a week, we the same teacher for science, but him in a morning class and me in an afternoon class. One particular day this teacher was off for some reason and a substitute teacher was filling in. I walk into my afternoon class, sit down with my friends and get my stuff out onto my desk. About 5 minutes into the lesson with this substitute teacher, he squares up on me and says loudly in front of the class, “why are you here? You were in my morning class.”
Everyone stops and looks at me and I say, “er, no I wasn’t.” To which he insisted, “yes you were.” Then I realized what was going on. So, I said, “ohhh, you’re probably thinking of my brother. I have an identical twin and he has science in the morning.” He pauses slightly and says, “I’ve been a teacher for over thirty years. Do you think I’ve never heard someone tell me that they have an identical twin?” The whole class is now watching to see how this turns out. “I swear to you sir, I have an identical twin,” I tell him. My friends, while laughing, try to back me up. Eventually I had to go to the school office with him to confirm that I do indeed have a twin brother.
Rising from the Dead
My dad’s best friend Tim passed away a couple of years ago. We went to the funeral, nobody bothered to warn us Tim’s brother looked exactly like him. Tim’s brother walks into the wake, cue several people screaming, bursting into tears and/or choking on food in pure startled fear.
Two Sides of the Same Store
I’m an identical twin. When we were 18 or so, I got a job at the local grocery store. Our building had an entrance on the side and one on the front. One day at work, I took a customer’s cart to their car through the side entrance. I loaded the groceries and came back in the side door. I went back to the registers where one of the cashiers, Taylor, was giving me the weirdest look.
Then my dad and brother showed up. After they checked out, Taylor informed me that he saw me go out the side door with a customer in my uniform and within a matter of seconds walk in the front entrance in street clothes. It confused the heck out of him. Within a matter of months, my twin got a job at the same store. Sometimes when we were scheduled to bag groceries together, people would start a conversation with us, get distracted by the cashier and then the twin and I would switch places and the customer would go back to the conversation they were having without realizing they were talking to somebody else.
Eventually we ended up working different jobs on the main drag in town- some people would know him and not me or vice versa. So occasionally somebody would come over say hi, like they knew one of us and start a conversation about something they told the other twin and it would confuse the other.
I dated a twin pretty seriously for a while. I got on really well with his family who were super welcoming because I was normal compared to his underage, actually psychotic ex. We hung out with his twin brother and the brother’s girlfriend all the time. After things got serious, a few times people told me they saw my boyfriend with another girl downtown or at the movies. I’d ask him what was up and he was always like, “nope, must have seen my brother.”
Then I learned the truth: It turns out he never broke it off with the psycho and it went on for MONTHS. I got a text from a friend saying they saw him at the mall when I thought he was at work. So, I went to the mall and parked right next to him, texted him while he was “at work” and waited for him to come out. His parents were so mad at his stupidity they kicked him out of the house and then invited me over for tea and apologies.
My twin brother died in a car wreck and my family suggested that I should date his girlfriend because…grief, I guess? REAL FREAKIN’ AWKWARD, MOM.