Albert Einstein once said, “Only two things are infinite, the universe and stupidity, and I’m not sure about the former”. Indeed, there seems to be an endless supply of stupidity in the world. However, sometimes even seemingly intelligent people say things so ridiculous that there are no words by which to respond.
1. This Was Out Of The Ordinary
One day, I found myself in an American Sign Language (ASL) class, embarking on an enlightening journey of learning signs for an array of different soda brands. You see, ASL is as vast and complex as any other language—every word, every object, and even different brands of sodas have unique signs.
It's not just a bundle of haphazard gestures; rather, it's a fully developed, beautiful language that offers non-verbal individuals an essential means of communication.
Nevertheless, as one might expect when dealing with a complex subject, some students found it a little puzzling. Take, for instance, the girl sitting next to me. She had this bewildered look etched on her face as she tried to keep pace with the various signed representations of soda brands.
Something was certainly amiss. and she seemed hesitant to speak up about it. Her continuous confusion pricked at my conscience—something that I find so natural to do given my penchant for lending a hand where it's needed.
With a friendly nudge of reassurance, I veered in her direction and whispered, "Is everything okay over here? Did you not catch one of the signs?" It wasn't entirely strange that she was grappling with this new language decoding journey we'd all embarked on. But her query wasn't something I had anticipated.
With a timid air about her, she met my gaze and asked, "I understand the necessity of learning the signs for different sodas, but who exactly is Dr. Pepper?" It was not the signs that were bogging her down, but the cultural context behind them, a considerably crucial aspect of any language learning indeed.
2. Something Didn’t Gel Well
Would you believe, there was a time when my buddy genuinely thought that 'aloe vera' was the moniker of a prominently sought-after European model?
You see, my friend had this innocent misunderstanding due to the widespread inclusion of aloe vera in most cosmetic products often propagated through beautifully crafted advertisements on television. Here's how the whole laughable commotion originated...
Every time a cosmetic ad aired, almost always, the announcer would introduce the product name with the famous tag line “with aloe vera”. As they excitedly declared this, illustrious models would grace the screen and demonstrate how to apply these products, lathering their faces with considerable enthusiasm.
My friend, in all his innocence, mistakenly believed that among these gorgeous ladies, there was a person named Aloe Vera. This misconception led him to a funny conclusion.
One day, with absolute seriousness, he commented, "Aloe Vera must be the most successful model ever! It’s bewildering how she gets selected and hired for almost every cosmetic commercial."
Little did he realize that Aloe Vera was not a person but a natural ingredient that cosmetic brands proudly infuse in their products due to its numerous skin benefits!
3. Geography Was Not Their Strong Suit
My friend had an unusual question for me—it was about how to stroke a bear. It was totally unexpected!
4. Shell-Shocked
At Fubar_Ranch, we welcomed a new member to our team recently. A bright and enthusiastic girl, she was genuinely surprised by some of the more rustic aspects of our workplace.
One immediately notable reaction from her was her response upon discovering that we harvested our own eggs—directly from the chickens we reared right on our property.
The idea seemed to horrify her to an unexpected degree. To her, such a practice was foreign and uncomfortable compared to what she was used to, which was buying eggs from a grocery store.
Paranoia could be seen in her eyes as she touted her preference for 'normal good eggs', which, according to her, were the ones securely packaged and neatly arranged on supermarket shelves. It was as if the concept of farm-to-table was alien to her prior experiences.
What happened next truly took me by surprise—leaving me both bewildered and amused. She disclosed, rather triumphantly, that she doesn’t consume chicken meat at all. Instead, she claims to only purchase and eat hens.
A pause followed in the conversation, largely due to my stunned silence, before I decided to enlighten her about a simple yet fundamental fact: hens are, in essence, female chickens.
The revelation seemed to jolt her. Panic seized her, mirroring the sort of fear one experiences when a snake slithers across their path unexpectedly. There was a real sense of bewilderment at the realization, and a tangible shift in the atmosphere of our discussion.
It was evident that she was not just naive, but also incredibly sheltered from realities most of us take for granted. Whether it was the result of her upbringing or her lack of exposure to a rural lifestyle, this entire discourse and her reactions were a startling revelation.
But, here at our ranch, we always welcome varying perspectives. We're hopeful that the unfamiliar farm setting and the experience will help broaden her horizons, and make her more receptive to new knowledge and truths.
5. Spellchecked
The other day, I watched as my sister sat diligently at the dining room table, engrossed in her work. With every scratch of her pen on the paper, an intense concentration radiated from her.
Suddenly, she glanced up at me, somewhat expectantly. Holding out her paper, she inquired, "Do you think I spelled this word correctly?" It seemed like a straightforward question—but what happened next left an indelible impression.
As her question hung in the air between us, she folded her arms over the table, obscuring her work from my sight. After a moment, she raised her eyes to meet mine and calmly declared, "Oh, never mind! It must be spelled right; there isn’t a red line under it.”
Astonishingly, she wasn't in front of a computer screen or using a word processing software. Nope. My sister was crafting her thoughts by hand on a tangible piece of paper.
Her declaration left me frozen in surprise. I just couldn't get over what she had said; it was hilariously innocent. Her earnest belief in an imaginary spell-checker on a physical piece of paper was charming yet befuddling. I laughed softly, deciding there and then that the incident was too priceless.
From that day on, I swore to myself, I would never let her live down this moment; I intended to retell this story at every family gathering. Even now, thinking about that day, I still chuckle. "A red line under the word," I recall her saying.
On a sheet of paper. Yes, my dear sister, in the age of technology, your endearing mistake was just too perfect.
6. Their Thinking Was Unreal
One time, I went on a school field trip to Washington DC. We visited a museum and saw a movie reenactment featuring George Washington on a giant screen. As we were watching, I overheard two girls chatting in the front row. I couldn't believe what I was hearing.
One girl asked the other, "Is this actual footage?" The second girl responded, "No, if it were real, it would be in black and white."
7. He Was A Certified Idiot
My lovely wife had been living in the United States for a year and was already a proud green card owner. When tax season rolled around, we thought we would stop at the little Jackson Hewitt setup in our local Walmart for an appointment. That's where our story begins.
Our tax preparation was led by an accountant who seemed curious about my wife's immigration status. When she promptly told him that she hails from Cuba, a look of confusion crossed the accountant's face. He swept up her social security card, referring to it as undeniable proof of her being a U.S. citizen.
Feeling the need to step in, I informed the misinformed man by clarifying a detail—every green card holder is issued a social security card, and it isn’t a sign of citizenship. Turning a deaf ear to my explanation, the stubborn accountant whipped out the card and shoved it into my face.
Raising his voice, he insisted, “Look, sir, this here is concrete proof that she's an American citizen!" By this time, my patience was wearing thin. I asked him if he had a supervisor and without playing coy, he informed me that his mother was the owner of that Jackson Hewitt franchise.
I thought it timely for mom to step in, so I suggested he give her a ring. To our surprise, he obliged. With the phone turned on speaker mode, his mother got the full rundown of her son's unprofessional actions over the phone. She responded with a clear exasperation in her voice, christening her son an idiot.
Once dropping the call, the accountant found himself in an uncomfortable situation. He shifted in his seat, attempting to backpedal and brush off his previous comments, hoping to salvage our business.
However, his antics had left a sour taste in our mouths. I picked up my things and turned to my wife, saying, "Come on, love. We can't trust someone so uninformed to handle our taxes".
That memory has etched itself in my mind, and will certainly stay with me forever.
8. His Reasoning Left My Head Spinning
I had a roommate who just wouldn't accept that the Earth spins around once a day. He was certain that it spun round 24,000 times a day and that it spun so fast we just couldn't see it. I wondered if he was mistaking the Earth's rotation for the speed at which a spot on the equator travels in a day, which is about 24,000 miles.
But no, that wasn't it. He compared it to when something spins so quickly it appears as a blur and you can't see it spinning any longer. He was firm in his belief that the Earth rotates 24,000 times a day.
9. She Was A Total Bird Brain
One fine day, my laboratory had the privilege of hosting a team of high-ranking officials from a different lab for an audit. The visit was meant to assess our operations and everyone was on their toes, readying the lab for the arrival of these distinguished guests.
You have to understand that to gain access to the premises, one requires an explicit key card which allows entry through the front gate. While this was going on, one of our guests noted something peculiar—an abundant gaggle of Canadian geese prancing on the property.
She made a comment about the unusual number of these feathered creatures, especially on that day. Glancing at her, I casually mentioned how the recent rainfall had probably encouraged them to be more active and visibly all over the place.
This statement apparently triggered a strange inquiry from this woman, who I should note, was quite an eminent personality having made an impressive income and holding a doctoral degree. She looked me directly in the eye and popped a question which caught me unawares. “How do they get past security?”
Her query puzzled me, and I responded with a chuckle saying, “Truly, they should at least be issued cards for entry”. However, her straight face indicated she wasn't jesting; she was serious about her question.
It left me perplexed and, in the spur of the moment, the only answer that seemed sensible was– "They flew". Honestly, I couldn’t decipher any other way to answer such an unconventional question.
And so, there we stood, in the midst of this pivotal audit day, discussing the infiltration strategies of Canadian geese.
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10. He Managed To Be A Total Jerk
It was the holiday season, and my dear wife's grandmother was unfortunately close to her final days. This happened to coincide with a shift I was supposed to work on Christmas Eve. On that fateful morning, her condition severely deteriorated and I received a distressing call advising me to rush to the house.
With urgency, I attempted to contact my immediate supervisor about my situation, but when I couldn't reach him, I left him a voicemail detailing the emergency at hand.
Not wanting to leave anything to chance, I dialed the on-duty manager's number and explained the word-for-word intensity of my familial crisis, apologizing and mentally bracing for the worst. Much to my relief, the duty manager was understanding and even compassionate as he assured me it was not an issue.
Protecting my interests further, I also contacted their superior manager, ensuring that I had left no stone unturned in managing my professional responsibilities in the face of personal challenges. Both required no persuasions, they advised me to take all the time that this emotionally wrenching situation might necessitate.
Additionally, they assured me that my shifts for the following weekend would be adequately covered. Sadly, my wife's grandmother passed on a Sunday and I returned to my work commitments on Tuesday.
Upon my return, my immediate supervisor approached me at my desk, visibly infuriated. His outrage centered around my unanticipated absence during the previous week. I tried to reason, reminding him of the phone calls and messages that had been made to make sure my duties were handled during my emergency.
His unsympathetic response sent chills down my spine as he coldly stated, "Well, you should have planned that better". My usually calm and composed cubicle neighbor, with whom I'd shared office space for several years, sprang to my defense.
Upset at the unjust accusation, he fiercely jumped out of his seat, snagged my supervisor's arm, and firmly escorted him to his office. Rumor had it that their heated exchange reverberated through the office for a quite long while.
During this time, I sat stunned and speechless at my desk, still grappling with the shock from my boss's thoughtless words. Sadly, an apology never came, but there was a silver lining. A few months later, my supervisor was fired due to unconnected reasons. In retrospect, he was indeed the epitome of poor management; he was the very worst.
11. Nothing But Turkey Talk
During Thanksgiving last year, I went on a mission to hunt down some Tofurky. My girlfriend, who chooses to follow a vegan lifestyle, was insistent on having it for our holiday meal.
Naturally, I wanted to make her wish come true. I found myself dialing various grocery stores across my home state—Missouri, eagerly inquiring if they stocked this particular vegan meat alternative.
During my quest, I rang up a grocery store and an optimistic woman answered my call. Her response to my inquiry was a cheerful, "Why don't I transfer your call to our meat department?" Before I could protest, her quick fingers had performed the deed and I found myself on the line with a member from their meat section.
I greeted the gentleman from the meat department and voiced out my concern, explaining I wasn’t sure if I had landed in the right department. I proceeded to ask him if they stocked Tofurky in their store.
His vague, yet enthusiastic reply hit me with a dash of amusement and a dollop of confusion. "Oh, Tofurky?" he joyfully exclaimed. "That’s like a turkey's vegetarian part, right?"
His well-meaning, yet off-mark description left me flabbergasted and chuckling at the same time. The search for the Tofurky continued, unfazed by the humorous interaction.
Nevertheless, I couldn't help but appreciate his genuine attempt to understand and help me out, even though his assumption was a bit off course. It may have been a simple task for him, but that small exchange served as a light, funny moment breaking the monotony of my Tofurky hunt.
Furthermore, it heightened my determination to locate the elusive, sought-after vegan turkey substitute.
12. Chicken Or Fish?
We were at a joint A&W and Long John Silver eatery. My mom was checking out both menus and asked me, "What distinguishes the #2 on this menu from the #2 on the other"?
The two were obviously different, so I explained to her, "The first is fish, the second is chicken". Her reply took me by surprise. She asked, "I understand, but how are they different?" She just couldn't grasp what I meant.
13. This Person Was Certifiably Stupid
In the past, I was employed as a paralegal which often put me toe-to-toe with many disputes and disagreements, particularly from various institutions that my clients often dealt with. One prime example that I remember vividly happened when I found myself in the middle of a disagreement with an individual from the social security office.
This person, a representative for the agency, had pointed an accusatory finger at one of my clients, suggesting that they had been dishonest. I initiated a conversation with this agent over the phone in order to attempt to resolve the situation.
Carrying a chilly demeanor, the agent tenaciously claimed that my client was pretending about a certain disability that had heavily affected her daughter. This wasn't just a minor issue, as the disability was so grave that it resulted in the unfortunate loss of her daughter's life.
Digesting this information, I was shocked to hear what the agent believed, especially considering the proof we had readily available. I explained to the agent that the severity and authenticity of the disability was clearly stated on the daughter's death certificate.
It was a document that couldn't be dismissed, carrying the weight of a medical professional's declaration of the cause of death. Despite stating the existence of such an authoritative proof, the agent retorted back rather dismissively, telling me that the death certificate didn't satisfy as enough evidence to him.
This was infuriating and horrifying to a certain extent, as it seemed the agent was more determined to stick to his pre-conceived notion, despite legally and medically accepted proof right in front of him.
14. The Dumbest Place On Earth
One unforgettable night, I was fortunate enough to attend an extravagant electronica dance party at none other than the magical kingdom of Disneyland. You know, the sort where the music has a magnetic pull and the air is charged with energy, encouraging everyone there to dance like nobody's watching.
Now, picture this: laser shows, and I mean the kind where an extraordinary actor takes on the mesmerizing performance of bending lasers into amazing shapes and designs as an integral part of the entertainment.
Now, deep within this crowd of fancifully entertained visitors, there was this hulk of a man who seemed more suited to a rustic barnyard party than the electronic pulsations of Disneyland.
He had the thickest accent, one that just screamed "country folk". The kind where every syllable he uttered held notes of earth and hay bales. It was a straight-out-of-Dukes-of-Hazzard scenario, I'm telling you.
Suddenly, this man—let's call him Bubba—declared in his thick, strong twang, “If those are supposed to be real lasers, then why on earth ain’t that actor cutting his fingers clean off?!” I mean, he really said that, right in the middle of the crowd, loud enough for everyone around to hear.
My family and I couldn't hold it. We were overcome with laughter, prompting us to abandon our prime spots close to the vibrant stage. We feared that our laughter was so raucous, so uncontrolled, it might be regarded as an insult to poor unsuspecting Bubba. So, we backed off a little, still snickering as we moved.
This guy unwittingly became the comic relief, the icing on the cake of our amazingly fun-filled night at Disneyland’s rave. Funny, isn't it, how the unexpected can prove to be the most memorable?
15. It Was A Signal Something Was Off
In my years of working on trains, I've certainly come across a multitude of bewildering incidents. But this particular one definitely takes the crown. Imagine my surprise when I had to explain to a grown woman the meaning of a red signal!
Our train had arrived at a station and the signal light looming ahead was glaringly red, indicating that we had to halt. This is exactly the same concept as a traffic light with its red, yellow and green signaling system.
To inform the passengers about the unexpected delay, I made an announcement over the PA system, "Apologies for the delay, everyone. We are currently held back due to a red signal, but I expect we'll be moving again very shortly".
After a short delay of about five minutes, our journey resumed, but we were soon brought to a standstill once more at the next station. As passengers began to alight, I noticed a couple meandering towards the exit.
The man, presumably the partner of the mystified woman, expressed his frustration, "Ah, it seems we're stuck at a red signal again".
Responding to him, I remarked, "Yes, sadly it's that troublesome red signal again". As I acknowledged his comment, the woman turned to me with a puzzled look etched on her face. "What exactly is a red signal?" she asked.
I was taken aback by her question for a moment, as I half expected her to reveal she was jesting. Quite the contrary, she seemed utterly serious.
Her partner swiftly came to the rescue, trying to simplify it for her, "The basics are: red means stop and green means go, darling". Observing her still somewhat confused demeanor, he tried to make the connection clearer: "Just think of it like a traffic light".
The revelation took a while to dawn on her—a good five to ten seconds later, she offered an enlightened "Ooooh" as the couple continued their promenade down the platform.
At that moment, all I could do was wonder if she might be having an off day where her cognitive skills were on a temporary hiatus. Or perhaps she belonged to the category of people that leave you mulling perplexedly, “How do they manage to get out of bed every single day”?
16. Her Thinking Was Week
I'd been caught up with continuous work and hadn't had a chance to see my friend for quite some time. At last, we managed to find a time to catch up over lunch. As soon as she saw me, she gave it to me straight—she told me how much she missed me because we barely got to hang out.
I mentioned that I'd been pretty swamped at work lately, even getting through a stretch of nine workdays without a break. She looked puzzled and said, "But there're only seven days in a week!"
17. It Seemed To Be A Foreign Concept
We dedicated a chunk of our class - around 10 minutes - attempting to clarify to someone that 'Germany' isn't how the Germans themselves refer to their country. We tried explaining that the country names we're familiar with are essentially English adaptations.
Despite our efforts, they couldn't grasp this idea which still baffles me, especially as they weren't even originally from an English-speaking nation.
18. He Served Up A Slice Of Dumb
One time, my best friend's boyfriend, who worked as a waiter, genuinely wondered, "What's roast beef exactly made of?" I was pretty stunned. I let him know, saying, "It's just beef that's been roasted." His reaction was priceless. He looked taken aback, then started to chuckle at his own question. Safe to say, he wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed.
19. Communication Breakdown
One fine day, I found my mom pacing back and forth in the living room, contemplating how best to break some news she wanted to share with me. The news concerned my brother and his girlfriend, yet unbeknownst to me, they had recently split up. However, my mom chose to communicate this fact in a peculiar, rather puzzling manner.
She casually interjected into our conversation, "Oh, by the way, your brother’s girlfriend is no longer with us," her words dancing in the air with an uncertain melancholy.
My heart sank, misinterpreting her cryptic message as the worst possible news. In my mind, my brother’s girlfriend had tragically departed from this world, leaving us in untold grief. Overwhelmed with sadness and concern for my brother, I immediately picked up the phone to call him.
I wanted to offer my condolences, to let him know that I was there for him in this difficult time and to inquire about the wake and funeral plans.
His reaction shook me from my imagined grief, leaving me momentarily speechless. He seemed utterly baffled by my words, his tone indicating a tornado of confusion. The silence from my brother drew me back to reality from the grim world I had previously molded in my mind.
With a mixture of bemusement and concern in his voice, my brother responded, "She's not dead; we just broke up. What are you talking about"? That's when it dawned on me—my mother's phrasing had completely led me down the wrong path.
20. Weird Science
Once upon a time, when I was a green freshman at college, straight out of high school and brimming with enthusiasm for the future, I was radically introduced to a new realm of thought in one of my earliest classes. It was a biology course, led by a seasoned professor with a fondness for thought-provoking lectures.
We were prepped for the incoming semester with him painting a grandiose picture of the world of science, stating how it was the bedrock of our modern understanding of the universe.
His words echoed in the lecture hall, "Science is our way of defining everything. From the infinite expanse of the cosmos to the intricate workings of a cell, we elucidate these mysteries through the rigorous process of empirical experiments and scholarly peer review."
Beside me, sat a girl, her face exhibiting visible feelings of self-satisfaction and superiority. As the lecture drew to a close, she turned towards me, her words still etched in my mind.
"If science is indeed capable of explaining every mystery of the universe in such a clean and precise manner", she queried, "then why is there an incessant pursuit of experiments? Isn't the simple act of devouring a scientific tome enough? Can't we just read the revelations?"
Her questions, a mix of innocence and wisdom, initially bewildered me. The curiosity behind her innocent smile and the sagacity of her statement, at first glance, appeared contradictory. I, being new to this world of scientific enigma, was taken aback by her simple yet profound interrogation of the scientific method.
Admittedly, it took me some time to fully grasp the wisdom embedded in her seemingly naive questions. The laughs bubbling within me at her innocence soon drained away, replaced by a newfound respect for her perspective.
It's easy to overlook that science is a continuing journey of discovery and understanding, and her queries inadvertently reminded me of that. It dawned on me that even with all the scientific books in the world, we'll always need to continue experimenting and questioning our surroundings constantly.
The irony was irresistible and it took me even longer to stifle the laughter. This was the beauty of academia, where the unlikeliest of interactions led to a better understanding of the world. Conversations like these are why I wanted to be in college: to learn, ask, discuss, and understand.
Not just from the books, but more importantly, from the peers like Mona around me.
21. You’re Gonna Need A Bigger Brain
Once while my college roomie dropped by as we were catching the last quarter hour of JAWS. We were at that climactic part where the shark is ripping into the Orca. As the scene where the shark hoists itself onto the boat's stern played out, my roommate casually remarked, "It's cool how they got that shark to do that."
And he was absolutely serious. Simply unforgettable.
22. Lion King
There was a period of time when I shared an office with a fascinating individual. He oftentimes surprised me with his offbeat dreams and ambitions. One day, he confessed a deep-seated aspiration to drop everything and temporarily step away from his daily grind.
His goal? To hop in his car for an exhilarating, life-changing road trip from the United States, where we resided, all the way to Africa. His noble quest for this journey? To experience the beauty and majesty of African lions in their natural habitat.
His audacious plan caught me by surprise, not because of his adventurous spirit, but due to a fundamental misunderstanding of geography. It was evident that my co-worker was blissfully unaware of girth of the world in between our homeland, the United States, and his intended African destination.
You see, the entire South American continent nestled resolutely beneath North America, creating a geographical barrier that would prevent any potential direct road access from North America to Africa.
Indeed, South America hunkers down underneath North America, boasting its own cultural and natural richness, vibrant biodiversity, and thriving ecosystems. Yet, it seemed like South America was entirely off his cognitive map, rendering it non-existent in his planned voyage to interact with Africa's crown jewel: its majestic lions.
More importantly, he seemed oblivious to the fact that Africa and the Americas are separated by the vast Atlantic Ocean, establishing a clear demarcation that's impossible to cross over by road.
His geographical oversight was not due to a lack of intelligence or insight. Rather, perhaps, it was a testament to his innocence, intensity, and extreme focus on fulfilling his desire without letting practical realities get in the way.
Next time the topic came up, I gently reminded him of the existence of other continents and the small hiccup of the Atlantic Ocean that might detour his ambitious intracontinental road trip plans. It turned out, while my coworker harbored a tremendous spirit for adventure, he might need a bit more help when it came to planning it.
23. An Uneven Exchange
In the 90s, I was living in Canada and I went to a store with a $100 US bill. I purchased a bottle of wine which was roughly $13. The lady at the cash register calculated the exchange rate, about 13%, and exclaimed, "Look at that, you get $100 back."
She handed me back the same US $100 bill I had given her and she chuckled, "Isn't that interesting?" So, I took back my money and left with a grin.
24. She Was Way Off Key
My father played the violin for The Cleveland Orchestra. Once, during a tour to East Germany, he was conversing with a fellow violinist on a train. They marveled at the sight of war-ravaged buildings, untouched since World War II, still standing. That's when someone, fitting the clichéd blonde image, joined their discussion.
She asked, "Germany was our ally during the war, wasn't it?". Her comment was so lacking in knowledge that I still think of it as one of the silliest things I've ever heard, even though I was not there to witness it.
25. Oh Deer!
I once had a friend with a very interesting view on wildlife. They approached me one day, completely serious, and said, "You know, there's a question that's been bothering me for a while now. I've always been curious about how goats in the wild grow into becoming deer, but when they're in a farm, they stay the same. They remain goats."
I stood there, absolutely dumbfounded by this peculiar idea. It was so outlandish that I could do nothing but stare at them in utter bewilderment. Regaining my composure, I managed to stammer out, “What in the world are you talking about?”
My friend, seemingly oblivious to my shock, nodded as if their theory made complete sense. "I know, it's wild to even consider, isn't it?" they said. "With ponies, it's more understandable. You can watch them grow and mature into horses right before your very eyes. But the goats—it's truly baffling!”
Well, to say the least, this notion was comical and absurd. My dear friend had clearly not been paying too much attention in science class. It was obvious, this individual was not very well-acquainted with the basics of animal biology and evolution.
26. They Were Only Bills
When I reflect on my high school days, particularly when I was an eleventh grader, one peculiar incident during my law class comes to mind. At that time, I was engrossed in studying law, attempting to comprehend its various intricacies and subtleties.
The meticulous nature of my studies involved swotting up about numerous legislative bills, many of which had been implemented by our government throughout history. The content of legislation ranged vastly, but one such bill that stood out was the iconic Bill of Rights, known for its historical significance and role in shaping democracy.
As my teacher elucidated on these influential bills, the classroom was permeated with a sense of deep understanding and curiosity. Thirty minutes into this enriching discourse, something unanticipated happened.
The girl who occupied the seat next to me subdued the room's intellectual fervor by raising her hand. She innocently put forth a question that left the room in a state of amusement, “Who’s this 'Bill' guy we’ve been talking about”?
This question, reflective of her innocence and confusion, riled the once serious classroom into an explosion of laughter. Even our teacher, usually composed and serious, struggled immensely to maintain his calm demeanor.
The laughter was infectious, and it was indeed a moment that underscored the lighter side of learning, making it an unforgettable memory etched in my academic journey.
27. An Abnormal Experience
One day, I decided to go for a routine check-up and found myself sitting nervously in a gynecologist's office, waiting for my ultrasound results. This wasn't just a casual visit, but a necessary one as I was experiencing a few unusual symptoms.
I remember that the room had a faint smell of antiseptic, and the humming of the ultrasound equipment was oddly hypnotic. The purpose of the ultrasound was to have a closer look at my ovaries because I wasn't feeling well lately.
As I anxiously awaited my results, I was continually distracted by a slew of thoughts. When they finally came in, it was a lady from the office on the other end of the line. Our conversation was less than comforting, and to my surprise, she confirmed that they did discover a mass on one of my ovaries.
I was puzzled. She clarified that their services as a gynecological office primarily dealt with ovaries, fallopian tubes, and the uterus. Hence, they were typically the perfect arena to discuss these matters.
However, instead of providing me with any kind of solution or recommendations, she suggested that I contact my primary care physician to sort out things. I was dumbfounded. I felt like I was left in the dark with no real direction.
Later on, when I expressed the other symptoms, I was experiencing—the unnatural discharge, persistent pelvic discomfort, and an uncomfortable burning—the gynecologist simply brushed them off as "normal." It was mind-boggling. There I was, in visible distress, and I was being downplayed.
This experience left me feeling unheard and invalidated. It didn't feel right or fair, so I decided to change my gynecologist immediately. Looking back, I think I made the right choice not to settle for such subpar care. In retrospect, that first gynecologist appeared to lack expertise and empathy, in my opinion.
The experience with that gynecologist was disappointing, to say the least, but it taught me a valuable lesson: it's crucial to find healthcare providers who truly care about your well-being, which is far from what I experienced in that office. Still, I hold out the hope that my next appointment will yield a better outcome.
28. I Had To Spell It Out
One day, my sister found herself caught in one of the quirkiest conundrums of her life, and it was all thanks to her severe dyslexia. Now, dyslexia is a condition that hamstrings a person's ability to read, spell, and write, colliding their world with a hodgepodge of jumbled letters and incomprehensible words.
She approached me with a question that seemed so mundane; it was almost laughable. "Can you help me spell USB?", she asked sincerely. At first, a wave of disbelief washed over me as I thought she was merely concocting an elaborate joke.
Seriously, how could anyone struggle with spelling such a short and simplistic word? Or so I thought, but the earnest look in her eyes suggested otherwise.
She repeated her request, "How do you spell USB?” It was then that her question sunk in, and I comprehended the intense seriousness behind her seemingly absurd question. I tried replying in the clearest way possible, stating: "The spelling of USB is exactly how you're pronouncing it—U, S, B."
This response, however, threw her off balance. She accused me of glibly mocking her condition. How could I poke fun at the learning hurdles she was hurdling each day due to her dyslexia? She was genuinely outraged, unable to digest that the spelling she was seeking was, in fact, hiding in plain sight.
I started to chuckle, tickled by the innocent humor of the situation and her adorable, serious demeanor, but I decided to grace her with a more tangible response. I pulled out a pen and paper, hoping to curb her rising frustration with a simple, visual answer.
As I wrote down the letters U-S-B, I saw her expression morph from confusion to surprise, followed by an immediate shot of relief. Her eyes mirrored the enlightening moment, her facial expression spotlighting the ‘aha moment’ of her realization. I doubt I'll ever forget the look on her face when she grasped just how straightforward the spelling of 'USB' really was.
29. Bad Timing
My ex-wife and I once bickered for a whole hour because she was convinced that 10:30 AM fell under afternoon hours. It all began when she stated, "We have to leave by 10:30." I asked her, "Didn't you mention it was supposed to be in the afternoon?"
She stubbornly replied, "Yes, it is in the afternoon. 10:30, you know, later." I tried to explain that afternoon doesn't just mean 'later', it specifically refers to after 12 PM. And that's when our full-blown disagreement took off. I still find myself reflecting on it from time to time.
30. It Was A Sign She Was Plain Stupid
A lady in North Dakota reached out to a local radio station for assistance. She'd spent two years crafting letters and trying to get a deer crossing sign moved from a busy location to a safer spot. She mistakenly thought that deer, like humans, use their designated signs to know where to cross.
Actually, the sign was positioned there as that's a common route for deer, not because they're following human traffic rules and are actively searching for a crossing spot.
31. There Is No Substitute For Stupidity
During my high school years, there was an amusing incident that took place in my government class. It involved a girl who unfortunately missed school on the day we had a substitute teacher stepping in.
Her absence didn't seem particularly noteworthy at the time; after all, students miss classes for all sorts of reasons. However, things got rather interesting when the regular teacher returned to class.
On his return, our usual teacher, as per standard school protocols, brought up her absence. He was simply performing his role of ensuring students are held accountable when missing class, that it wasn't for some truant purpose. This day, however, was set to be quite out of the ordinary.
In front of the entire class, he asked the girl to specify her reason for missing his last session, expecting an explanation about an illness, a family matter or maybe a dental appointment. It was always one of these garden-variety reasons that a student would be absent and he assumed this day would be no different.
What happened next caught the entire class off guard. The girl let out a sigh of pure indignation, her brows furrowing in obvious annoyance. "I don't know why they marked me absent, I wasn't even here that day," she exclaimed.
A statement which, on the surface, made perfect sense, but once the words registered, led to everyone in the room pausing. It didn’t seem she realized the contradiction in her own answer.
Her response was naïve, yes, but it was that sense of disbelief and the tone in her voice that made it both strangely logical and hilariously funny in the context. The room, which was initially filled with the usual classroom chatter, went silent for a second before erupting into laughter.
For that brief moment, we all shared a genuine light-hearted amusement over her innocent and unintentionally humorous response, turning a mundane school day into a memorable one.
32. Her Speech Couldn’t Move Mountains
In my freshman year of high school, I was enrolled in a speech class. Here we were, a bunch of young people brimming with enthusiasm, living in Louisiana, the state we were privileged to call home, and assigned with the task to present a speech on a facet of Louisiana.
The choices were vast—we could share insights about the state's unique topography, its diverse landscapes, the significance of the natural elements, the recognition it garners nationally, the unique aspects it's celebrated for, and so on.
One of my classmates, a young, bright girl, made the interesting choice of discussing mountains for her speech. Intriguingly, Louisiana is not exactly mountainous—with only one mountain, Driskill Mountain, boasting a modest height of a mere 535 feet.
The anticipation within our class was palpable. We prepared ourselves, eager and excited to see how she would spin this threadbare topic into a captivating presentation.
The moment came. It was her time in the spotlight. All eyes were glued to her, trying to guess how she would proceed with this seemingly unremarkable topic.
Each one of us watched with bated breath as she cleared her throat and confidently commenced her speech. "Ahem. There are many mountains in Louisiana", she announced as her opening remark.
Immediately after this claim, disbelief befell our teacher. Taken aback by the obvious inaccuracy of this statement, the teacher quickly interjected, decisively instructing her, “Sit down”. It was such an unexpected twist that, despite ourselves, we students could not help but collectively burst into laughter—the auditorium echoing with our mirth.
The incident served as a fascinating interlude in our otherwise routine class.
33. Her Common Sense Flew The Coop
Living in the vibrant, multicultural realm of Southeast Asia, I was surrounded by diverse food and herbal practices. Traditional herbs were as accessible as air. While I recognized the potential health benefits attributed to these herbs,
I was quite skeptical. It seemed a stretch to suggest that a herb could protect against an inherited autoimmune disease. However, these doubts came face to face with my personal demon—eczema.
This irritating skin disorder has been my steady companion all my life, though it wasn't a constant disturbance. It would strike at times, then recede, but when it decided to make its presence known, it was nothing short of terrible.
Interestingly, I could never link my flare-ups to anything in particular—neither to my food habits nor activities. It would just suddenly attack. Then a life-changing event occurred: the birth of my darling daughter. Looking at her, I was immediately hit by the bitter realization—I had passed on my troublesome gene. My eczema was not just mine anymore.
Around this time, my sister-in-law came forward with a theory. After observing my daughter, she announced, "Your girl must have eczema because you didn't consume bird's nest soup during your pregnancy".
This comment left me bewildered. Was it that simple, or was this some sort of folklore medicine? Nevertheless, my daughter's affliction mirrored mine, complete with irregular flare-ups.
Years rolled by, with my daughter dealing with the same unpredictable eczema patterns. Yet, my sister-in-law remained steadfast in her beliefs. Each occurrence of my daughter's eczema flare-ups was greeted with the same commentary, "This must be because the bird's nest soup was absent from your pregnancy diet."
This saga continues to date, underscoring the collision of traditional Southeast Asian beliefs and my own skepticism, held together with the ongoing mysteries of my family's hereditary eczema.
34. She Was Really Bat-Brained
During my high school years, one of our topics was the significant civilizations that existed in the Americas prior to the arrival of Christopher Columbus. On a particular day of this chapter, the focus was on the Iroquois people, which was highly intriguing.
The teacher started his explanation by detailing the geographical location of the Iroquois tribes, explaining that they resided in the areas we now recognize as New York and Pennsylvania. He described their lush territories and the rich natural resources they had at their disposal, painting a picture of a life in harmony with nature.
Amidst this lesson, an unexpected question arose, breaking the stream of the lecture. A certain girl in our class, who frankly had a reputation for not being the brightest bulb, cautiously raised her hand. All eyes turned towards her as she broke the silence, her voice full of curiosity yet loaded with confusion.
"Isn't that where Count Dracula lived?" she asked, causing the room to fall into a stunned silence. Her question was so unrelated to our topic, yet she seemed so innocently convinced of her assumption. 'Count Dracula', the infamous fictional character from Eastern Europe, living amidst the Iroquois tribes of New York and Pennsylvania? Quite outlandish!
Sure, she was never really known for her academic brilliance, but this level of unawareness was bemusing for everyone in the room. Everyone has their moments of confusion, but this was an extraordinary mix-up!
It led to some chuckles, but no derision, and the whole situation showed that classrooms are indeed places for learning, questioning, and yes, a few surprises too!
But then, isn't that what makes school life so interesting?
35. Moving Target
One day, a pal of mine gave me a puzzled look and said, "Do you think you can tan on a cruise ship? You know, because it's constantly in motion?" I wasn't quite sure where she was coming from, so I asked her to clarify her thoughts.
She seemed to believe that since the ship is always on the go, the sun rays wouldn't have a chance to reach it... because of its movement.
36. What An Airhead!
I decided to pay a visit to my buddy's place the other day. As I walked in, I noticed something peculiar—his carbon monoxide detector was casually lying near the open window. There was a bit of a breeze blowing in, and the device looked somewhat out of place.
It struck me as odd, as anyone knows that these devices are more suited to closed areas where carbon monoxide could accumulate unnoticed. The sight was puzzling, and my curiosity nudged at me, unable to be ignored.
Puzzled, I turned to my friend, a look of inquiry clearly on my face. "Bro, why's your carbon monoxide detector placed near the window?" I asked, the question hanging in the air between us.
He shifted slightly and glanced at the detector before answering. "Oh, that," he pointed negligently, "that little noisemaker kept ringing in my ears—'get to air,' it ordered. Annoying as hell."
I was a bit dumbfounded by his response. "So, what did you do?" I found myself asking, despite pretty much knowing the answer. He shrugged, the sort of careless gesture one makes when they think they've ingeniously solved a problem.
"Well, I picked it up and dumped it here by the window. Figured it needed air, so might as well give it what it demanded," he concluded, a satisfied grin spreading across his face.
After hearing his reasoning, I was left in a state of disbelief. To me, this was no laughing matter. This device is designed to warn us of dangerous carbon monoxide levels, not to be tossed by an open window.
I shook my head, amazed by his misinterpretation of the warning. It’s a mystery to me how he's managed to make it through life with such a fascinating misunderstanding of safety alarms. I chuckled at his logic, but I knew I had some serious educating to do.
37. Crossed Country Lines
Once upon a time, I was sitting in a classroom, my attention fully absorbed by an intriguing newspaper article. Nestled securely in the heart of the first page was a hard-hitting headline, proclaiming, “Russian Troops Invade Georgia.”
It was a piece of international news that could have profound geopolitical implications, underscoring delicate relations between countries. Just then my neighbor perked up, eyebrow shot high. Their eyes were wide with shock and confusion mixed with a dash of fear.
It seemed like they were trying to make sense of what they'd just overheard. Lean in closer, and you could almost hear the wheels in their mind churning as they stumbled over the headline that I'd just read out loud.
Suddenly, they gasped, breaking the surprised silence that had hung in the air. Their voice was filled with concern, undermining the tranquility of our classroom's ambiance. “Oh no, Russian troops in Georgia? Bush needs to step up and take action!” they exclaimed.
They had clearly jumped to a distressing conclusion, mistaking the nation of Georgia for Georgia, the U.S. state. It was one of those moments that highlighted the importance of context in comprehension.
Their response caught me completely off guard. They had genuinely believed that Russia had launched an attack on the American state of Georgia. The confusion was palpable, leaving a nest of puzzled thoughts in my mind. It was astonishing that the person could have jumped to such a misguided conclusion.
They were disconnected from the broader international context, perhaps owing to an inclination towards domestic concerns. Ultimately, it underscored the importance of comprehensive information absorption. It was a classic example of how crucial it is to understand fully and accurately interpret news before formulating a reaction.
A little knowledge can often be misleading, and in this situation, it led my classmate to a conclusion that was rather far from the truth. It was a light-hearted yet instructive incident showcasing the occasional comic interplay of geopolitics and misunderstandings.
Suffice to say, this classroom moment turned into a memorable storytelling event, one that I would often recount with a smile in the future.
38. Something’s Gotta Change
A former colleague of mine, a devoted Christian, once declared that she wasn't fazed at all by the issues of climate change. She went as far as to refer to activists campaigning against climate change as selfish instigators.
My immediate reaction was to counter this mindset. I stressed the urgency with which the activists are trying to imbue in society. They are stirring for a reason—they want people to realize that our planet is in jeopardy.
The importance of countering climate change stretches far beyond our individual scopes. Sure, the immediate changes might not significantly disrupt our lives, but ignoring this issue will eventually lead to disastrous consequences for the world as we know it.
Think about the potential destruction not only for ourselves but for the generations to come. Essentially, our reckless attitudes towards the environment could lead to our children inheriting a planet that is beyond saving.
A world where they'd struggle for the most basic of necessities. In this regard, our failure to act responsibly today would diminish their chances of survival in the future.
However, her retort to my stance left me bewildered. She expressed nonchalance by stating, "If the Earth does indeed meet destruction, I'm sure God will recreate it, so there's no cause for concern on my part." This response floored me. I was taken aback by the sheer naivety and the profound self-centeredness portrayed by her statement.
39. Dumb And Dumber
It was the summer of my 17th year and I was a member of a landscaping crew that was a colorful mix: a 16-year-old youngster built like a Hercules, to settled family men on the other side of 40. Working across jobs for the past four decades, I've encountered characters of every stripe, but this kid was something else.
He had a naturally muscular build which almost seemed surreal for his age. But what struck one most was the potent combination of his laziness, truly unparalleled in my long working life, and his low intelligence.
One particular day stands out—when he sought my advice with an uncharacteristic seriousness. He confided in me a lottery of sorts. His girlfriend who was merely 14 years old wanted him to get her pregnant. Her rationale? She could then happily bid adieu to her school days.
If he was less than bright, she must have surpassed him in that department. I mean, who thinks that having a baby at 14 offers an easier way of life than going to school? It just baffles a logical mind.
40. Their Ignorance Was In The Bag
In a casual encounter, I once had a conversation with a person who told me, "I recycle everything but plastics." I was so stunned that my words failed me for the time being. Eventually recovering, I simply responded that plastics, out of all things, are perhaps the most crucial to recycle.
Plastic, as we know it, is an insidious material. It's nearly omnipresent in our lives, but most damagingly, it has a severe impact on Mother Nature and her children. From my perspective, ignoring to recycle plastics could be the most environmentally damaging decision one could make.
I shared this thought with the person, trying to communicate the gravity of the matter. I urged them to consider the countless horrifying stories that have made the rounds on various media platforms, from social media to print.
There have been countless articles, news features, even entire documentaries dedicated to illuminating the catastrophic impact of plastic on our environment, especially on avian and marine life.
Birds and sea creatures are, sadly, the hardest hit by our reckless plastic disposal. Many times, they mistake floating plastics for food. The result is a slow, agonizing death after ingesting a substance they cannot digest or dispose of internally.
It's heartbreaking and a predicament that is entirely avoidable if humans simply chose to be more responsible with their waste. However, the person in question seemed clueless to all of this. They confessed to having not come across any such reports or evidences about the harmful effects of plastic.
I was quite shocked by this revelation. It's intriguing how information so widespread and critical can somehow escape people's awareness.
In essence, I discovered that some people aren't aware of how their individual actions, such as choosing not to recycle plastic, can contribute to a larger environmental crisis. This encounter reaffirmed the importance of spreading awareness and taking action on an individual level to protect our planet.
41. She Was Hardly Street Savvy
Back in my eighth grade, there was this person I knew who was absolutely convinced—and even debated with me—that mice managed traffic lights. She genuinely believed that these little creatures somehow sneaked into traffic lights and switched their colors, which explained why we often spot mice near busy streets.
At 13-14 years old, she really thought this. Clearly, her upbringing was a bit lacking.
42. His Mind Was Not In Working Order
During a New Year's shift, I was working as a food runner. I carried an order over to a table, announcing, "Veal Classico," as I set the dish before one of the customers. He looked at me perplexed and said, "But I didn't order catfish. I asked for a pork chop." I was totally baffled.
It was a Sunday evening, and we only serve catfish for lunch on Wednesdays and Thursdays. And to add to the mystery, we never have pork chops on our menu, plus, veal is an entirely different thing.
43. This Session Is Over
During a therapy session, I confided in my counselor about my growing apprehensions of being kidnapped and harmed.
To alleviate my fears, she dug up some statistics and shared, "Well, according to Google, there have only been X kidnappings and Y assaults in our city over the past Z years. Do you think you're so unique or exceptional that you could be a potential target?"
Her comment took me aback. I blinked at her in disbelief, stuttering, "I'm sorry, could you please repeat what you said?"
In my mind, the threat of becoming a victim wasn't part of an exclusive, glamorous club policed by a velvet rope. It was a real and palpable fear that made me lose sleep every night. In fact, I doubted if the unsuspecting victims of past crimes ever felt "special" being singled out.
I struggled to understand why she had postulated such a peculiar perspective. After all, fear doesn't recognize exclusivity or privilege; it preys upon everyone.
Her inappropriate remark left me pondering—what did she expect me to say? That I felt privileged to be living in such terror? Or that her cold, statistical reassurance was supposed to magically dissolve my concerns? Feeling more confused and vulnerable than ever, I decided to discontinue her services soon after our unsettling encounter.
44. Balk At The Moon
One time, my husband and I were at a hotel during a total lunar eclipse. It still puzzles me to this day how nobody else seemed interested enough to step outdoors and witness it. Just as the eclipse was nearing its peak, a young lady passed by. Her next move had me dying.
She paused, and asked nervously, "Is there something happening to the moon?"
45. Stupidity Makes No Eggceptions
Once upon a time, in an everyday conversation with a friend, a curious question popped up. This friend of mine, I’ll call him Dave, wore an uncannily puzzled expression.
His eyes blinked open wide as he asked unexpectedly, “So, let me get this straight. When a woman is pregnant, does it mean her eggs are scrambled? Or are the eggs scrambled after, you know, they've been 'in action'? Also, really quick, do the eggs come out of her body? Does a woman need to manually put it back inside? Is it like the egg is coming out all the way?”
Dave's eyes were gleaming with curiosity, almost exploding from the number of loaded questions he had just served up. I realized the misconceptions Dave held about women’s biology were, unfortunately, not uncommon among many grown men.
To clarify his swirling misconceptions, I explained in a calm and patient tone, “Dave, let’s unravel the mysteries of the female body one at a time, alright? The egg cells, they get released from a woman's body during menstruation, but not in the way you think. They are microscopic entities, invisible to the naked eye. They aren't some tangible, physical 'eggs' that need to be manually replaced or handled in any way."
Dave blinked again, nodding as his misconceptions started fading. With wide-eyed realization, he responded, "Ohhhh, I get it now. I had always pictured it to be an actual egg, like a regular-sized one that you can hold in your hand."
As I observed the gears turning in Dave’s head, I couldn’t help but appreciate his candor. His willingness to learn and break out from his incorrect assumptions was a refreshing sight. And trust me, although the path of this conversation was unanticipated, it was not a wasted one.
This conversation took place during a seemingly ordinary day, yet it stirred up an interesting dialogue about the wonders of biology that both David and I won’t be forgetting soon.
46. She was A Real Pill
In my teenage years, when I was only 17, I casually shared my thoughts with one of the school nurses about starting a family. I expressed that I wasn't interested in having children until I was at least 25. Much to my surprise, she responded with an alarming projection.
She suggested that if I waited until I was 25 to bring a child into the world, I would have waited "too long". Even more shockingly, she proposed that by the age of 20, I should not just have one child, but two.
This bold statement wasn't taken lightly, especially when she compared my life choices to another young lady we both knew. This girl had fallen pregnant at the start of our freshman year.
By the time we were both 17, she had already brought her third child into the world. To the nurse, she was "the town's smartest girl," simply because she started creating her family at such a young age.
The memory of this encounter has stayed with me throughout the years, deeply etched into my mind. Partly because it was an eye-opener, but mostly because it was the last interaction I had with her. The story didn't end there, though. She made quite a significant mistake by sharing our conversation with her coworker.
The second nurse responded with disgust at such irresponsible advice. She thought it was inappropriate enough to report her colleague to the school board.
What followed these events was a series of unfortunate circumstances for the nurse. The school board decided to transfer her to an elementary school, a decision made in response to the complaint.
But her career continued to spiral downhill when it was reported that she had made derogatory remarks about a girl's attire, referring to the student's clothes as trashy and provocative. This was the final nail in the coffin, leading to her eventual dismissal.
The world of illumi-thotti unfolds in unique ways, often showing the unpredictability of human nature. With the narrative above seemingly far-fetched but profoundly real, it reminds us that the most memorable life lessons often come from unexpected sources and circumstances.
47. Her Nutty Thinking Ended Him
Once upon a time, there was a woman who was deeply thrown into an overwhelming situation when her father suffered a stroke. Despite her tender age, being in her late 20s, she had been entrusted with an enormous responsibility—she held her father's Power Of Attorney.
This responsibility gave her the legal authority to make health-related decisions on her father's behalf. The doctors revealed that there was a silver lining, a potential chance to reverse the devastating effects of the stroke. For this to be possible, they needed to conduct a medical procedure—an MRI scan.
The scan was known for its ability to provide detailed images of the brain, helping doctors to make exceptionally precise diagnoses. However, the woman was in a position where she had to give her permission for this important procedure to be carried out.
To the doctors' immense surprise, she declined the proposal. Her belief was that the MRI scan would somehow rob her father of his "essence," his core being. Instead, she proposed an unconventional remedy, something she genuinely thought would be beneficial.
She believed that coconut oil, if massaged onto her father's scalp, would work miracles. Ultimately, this situation ended in a heartbreaking way. Her disapproval of the MRI scan proved to have an irreversible result.
The woman's father passed away only after two days later. This is a somber reminder of how essential it is to seek and trust in professional medical advice during such life-threatening situations.
48. He Was A Suite Talker
When I first started in the hotel industry, my initial job was at a brand-new establishment. We were all pretty green. One day, a guest who had already checked in approached me after dinner and inquired if we had any 'sweets'.
Without thinking, I immediately assumed he meant candy and offered him the bowl of mints we kept on the counter. But he corrected me, saying he was asking about 'suites', referring to large guest rooms. I was mortified.
My blunder did not exactly make a strong impression on the guest. I justified it to myself though, thinking it was an understandable mistake because our hotel did not have suites, so that term wasn't really part of my work vocabulary at the time.
49. It Wasn’t Brain Surgery
One time, a classmate of mine in high school mentioned that if she and her would-be husband had certain unappealing facial traits, like a crooked nose, they'd simply opt for plastic surgery prior to having a kid to avoid passing it on.
I responded to her by saying, using her rationale, if my partner and I both cut off our index fingers, we'd have a baby born without those fingers. She insisted that these two scenarios weren't the same. Even after 18 years, the absurdity of that conversation hasn't left my mind.
Sources: Reddit,.
