We shouldn't ruin someone's day. That's not a very nice thing to do. Except...when the person in question gives us absolutely no choice. A horrible, entitled customer. A screaming, spoiled-rotten brat. The most frustrating people on earth. In these cases, when the opportunity presents itself, you're actually legally obligated to ruin their day in the most brutal way possible.
1. The Principle Of The Thing
I worked one summer during university as a database administrator for a community center. Basically, I built a database so they could track who was donating and how much, and also who was volunteering and how many hours they were putting in.
It was pretty simple work, and even though I was the youngest person on staff, I got along well with almost everyone. Almost—because there was one person I really didn’t click with: my direct supervisor. The next spring, when I was applying for jobs, I emailed her to ask for a letter of recommendation. To my surprise, she told me she doesn’t write recommendation letters “out of principle.” I was honestly frustrated, because I was having a tough time finding a position.
Not being able to use my most recent employer as a reference definitely didn’t look great on my resume. Still, I managed to land a decent job. Then, on my very first day, I got an unexpected chance to get a little payback. My old boss emailed me about an issue with the database I’d built.
She’d moved some files around, and now she couldn’t access it at all. She asked if I could come in and fix it. I couldn’t believe the timing. I replied that I already had a job and wouldn’t be able to help—“out of principle.”
From the center’s point of view, it basically meant my whole summer of work became useless. But honestly, what can you do?
2. Self-Defense
A few years ago, I was the assistant manager at my karate studio. It was a slow, quiet day when Paul walked in—my old bully from public school. At first, I wasn’t totally sure it was him. It had been years, and it was hard to tell. I didn’t say anything. Paul was interested in joining the dojo, so I gave him a tour, went over the prices, and all that.
By the end of the tour, Paul decided to sign up. We sat down in the office and he started filling out the paperwork. The moment he wrote his name on the application, I knew for sure it was him—the guy who used to torment me every single weekday. The one who made me kneel in dog poop. That’s when I came up with a plan.
I still didn’t say anything until after he’d prepaid for a full year of membership. As I walked him to the door, I smiled. “I’m really looking forward to training with you,” I said. “Yeah, me too,” Paul replied. Then I said, “You don’t recognize me, do you?” He asked, “No, should I?” I said, “Yeah. We went to school together—third through eighth grade. You bullied me every day and made my life miserable. Can’t wait to see you in class.”
Paul turned pale and walked out without another word. He never came back. He’d rather lose almost $500 than have to be in the same class with me. It was honestly one of the best moments of my life. Karma really is something—sometimes it just takes a while.
3. Bridezilla, Meet Mia
This is one of my favorite “I’m done” stories. I used to work at a country club. There was a girl—let’s call her Mia—who had worked there three or four years before I started. When Mia was hired, she was told she’d be replacing the wedding manager right away, but even after all that time, she STILL hadn’t been given the job. She told me she was over it and ready to quit, and that this would be her last wedding.
I told her to do what was best for her. The club hosted tons of weddings, and we rotated which girls took care of the bride and whatever she needed. I did it four or five times and only had one bride who was kind of demanding, but Mia had the worst luck and always ended up with the total bridezillas.
And Mia was one of the NICEST people I’ve ever met. So I’m in the lobby setting up for cocktail hour. To my left was a hallway with two doors, a closet, and the bridal suite. Mia and the bride were in that hall, and I heard the bride start yelling at her about water. They were standing right there, so I saw the whole thing.
Bride: “I ASKED FOR COLD WATER! THIS WATER IS ROOM TEMPERATURE! CAN’T YOU DO THE ONE THING I’M ASKING YOU TO DO?”
Mia: “Ma’am, you asked for a bowl of ice and a pitcher of room temperature water. You said you wanted to put the ice in yourself. You didn’t want me to touch it.”
Bride: “WATER IS COLD! EVEN ROOM TEMPERATURE WATER ISN’T THAT WARM! I’M THE BRIDE! YOU WILL DO AS I SAY! THAT’S WHY YOU’RE HERE, ISN’T IT? TO SERVE ME!”
The next part was so good I’ll never forget it.
Mia: (smiles and clears her throat) “Ma’am, I’ve brought you water three times now. I’m sorry it’s not to your liking, but you know what’s not to my liking? YOU.”
Then Mia just snapped.
“You’re being so rude! Your dress is awful! Your wedding is awful! Purple and pale green—what is this, Barney? You look like Barney in that dress! I’m done. I have a master’s degree and I don’t need this from you, Barney!”
Then she stormed to the office, handed over her name tag and fob, and walked out—leaving the bride standing there in tears. Mia works at a college in North Carolina now. I miss her.
4. Get Mature, Kid
I worked at a Kmart in high school. It was a small store, so I did a bit of everything: electronics, stocking shelves, cashier—you name it. One day, I was out on the floor and asked a woman and her son, who was around 12 or 13, if they needed help finding anything. For some reason, the kid immediately snapped at me for bothering him. I let it go and kept working, but I definitely thought he was being a little brat.
Not long after, I got called up to the registers. While I’m checking people out, the same pair walks up. The kid had gone big in electronics—grabbed a few EA Sports games and a GTA title. As I’m ringing everything up, the age prompt pops up for the M-rated game. I decided to take the opportunity and give the kid a small dose of consequences. I turned the case over and told the mom, “This game is rated M for the following reasons,” and I read the list right off the back.
There was a long, uncomfortable pause. Then she got upset and said her son told her it was only “a little violent,” so he must have lied. The kid didn’t get any games that day.
5. Blockbuster
One morning my wife was sick, so I ran out to pick up her medicine and return a DVD to a Redbox machine. When I got there, a couple and their child were standing at the kiosk looking through the movies. After waiting about five minutes, I politely told them my wife wasn’t feeling well and asked if I could quickly return my movie since it would only take about 15 seconds. The woman replied in a very rude tone that I could wait my turn.
I waited another couple of minutes, and then the child started crying because the machine didn’t have *Gnomeo and Juliet*, and he didn’t want to watch *Cars 2* again. But I knew something she didn’t. I turned to the woman and showed her that *Gnomeo and Juliet* was the one I was returning, but I couldn’t wait any longer because my wife was sick—and I still had until 9:00 p.m. to bring it back. Then I got into my car as the kid dropped to the ground, screaming and kicking in a full-blown tantrum.
6. Don’t Stop Believing
My dad was out of state for work, driving through some little town, when he went through an intersection. Out of nowhere, a police officer pulled him over and gave him a ticket, saying he’d run a stop sign. My dad insisted there wasn’t any stop sign there, but the officer wouldn’t hear it.
Frustrated, my dad went back to the intersection and saw that there actually was a stop sign—except it was hidden behind a tree. On top of that, it was twisted so it faced the wrong direction. Even more frustrated, he went into a convenience store and bought a disposable camera. The clerk chuckled, because he’d seen what happened and knew exactly what my dad was doing. Luckily, my dad had to be back in town a few weeks later for work. The officer probably figured someone with out-of-state plates would just pay the ticket.
So he was pretty surprised when my dad showed up in court, calmly presented his photos to the judge, and walked out five minutes later with the ticket dismissed.
7. Summary Of Un-Qualifications
When I was out of work for a long time, I interviewed at a tech company for a sales role. The Marketing Director had come up through sales and had that classic “I could sell anything to anyone” attitude—very Type A, very “my way is the only way.”
The product was similar to a lot of others on the market, and with my technical background, I could tell that if we sold it the way he described, we might get a few non-technical buyers—but we weren’t going to land any major contracts. I have degrees in both Marketing and Computer Science.
I voiced my concerns, and his reaction caught me completely off guard. He blew up at me. I tried to end things politely and leave, but he kept yelling as I walked out—pretty much all the way out of the building.
Fast forward to a few weeks ago: I brought someone in to interview for a role as one of my reps. The office manager walked him in, I looked up from my desk, and it was him.
He didn’t recognize me, but I definitely remembered him—because nothing like that had ever happened to me before or since. I chose to be the bigger person and just run the interview, planning to keep it professional and not bring up the past. But eventually, I couldn’t let it go.
I said, “I’ve met you before. Do you remember me?”
Him: “No.”
Me: “I interviewed with you a few years ago. You were very rude to me, and you yelled at me in a way I’ve honestly never experienced before. I’m not going to hold it against you automatically, but I do have serious concerns about whether you can keep your composure in tough situations with clients. If you want to be considered for this job, you’ll need to address that and show me otherwise.”
He looked confused at first—like he was trying to replay old memories—then you could see the moment it clicked. It was a striking thing to watch. Not because I wanted payback, but because it was a real reminder that how you treat people can come back around.
He tried to recover the interview and apologized. I accepted it politely.
Still, the awkwardness was obvious. And honestly, even if that history hadn’t existed, he wasn’t the right fit. He didn’t have experience with relationship-based sales. He was more of a hard-sell type, and in healthcare, that approach tends to earn you a bad reputation and won’t get you very far.
8. Fluent In Smack Talk
I used to work for a major bank, and during my time there I ran into plenty of rude people. One day, I was helping a woman and her daughter with a deposit, and I heard them speaking a Middle Eastern language.
When I realized it was Farsi, I started paying close attention—because I speak Farsi. What I heard made my stomach drop. They were talking about what a loser I was, saying this teller job was the only thing I had going for me, that I probably didn’t have a girlfriend and wasn’t in school.
The whole time, I only spoke to her in English. And every time she answered my questions, she’d smile politely—and then say something mean about me in Farsi. When we finished, I switched to their language and said, “Just because I work at a bank doesn’t give you the right to talk about me behind my back. I’m in grad school to become a psychotherapist, and I’m only working here for extra spending money. You should be ashamed. Is there anything else I can help you with?”
Her daughter walked out right away. The mother turned bright red, looked embarrassed, apologized over and over, and left. I never saw either of them again.
9. Take A Picture, It’ll Last Longer
When I was seven, I had this truly awful babysitter. She would call 9-1-1 and yell for help, then hang up really fast—just for fun. She also regularly forgot to make us dinner. The worst thing she did, though, was bring her boyfriend over so they could make out on the couch and watch movies. Pretty typical teenager behavior, I guess.
Whenever he came over, she’d lock me in my room and my five-year-old autistic brother in the basement. He didn’t understand how locks or light switches worked, so he cried almost the whole time. One day, not long after Christmas while she was there, I decided to take my new point-and-shoot camera out for a test run, pretending I was a detective.
I snuck along the walls and jumped around corners, taking pictures of anything I could. I heard my babysitter talking to her boyfriend on the phone, so I figured I’d “investigate.” I crept up to the kitchen and then swung around the corner, snapping photos. She got really mad and chased me around the house while I laughed like crazy.
The next week, my mom took me to get the film developed. We sat down in the mall food court and looked through the pictures—because what mom wouldn’t want to see what her kid photographed with his new Christmas present?
As we flipped through them, my mom suddenly grabbed one of the photos. When she saw it, her face turned red with anger. What was it? A clear picture of my babysitter going through my mom’s purse. I’ve never seen my mom tear into someone the way she did that sixteen-year-old babysitter.
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10. None Of Your Doggone Dirty Business
My first job in NYC was at a pet food store. I was a brand rep for a local company, and I had to pester everyone who walked in, trying to get them to buy one of our $3 sampler packs. I wasn’t allowed to hand out samples, which made no sense—dogs will eat just about anything, so of course they’d eat our specially engineered, plant-infused, loose-stool-fixing treats, and then their owners would probably buy a few bags.
Most of the time, people just said, “No thanks” when I asked. Then one day, I had to share a table with a rep from a rival company who was handing out free samples nonstop. Naturally, she was selling way more than I was. Also, I couldn’t stand this woman. She was annoying and smug the entire time.
Finally, a woman walks in with two prissy little pugs wearing matching pink bows. I do my whole pitch, and she completely ignores me. The rival rep tosses a few treats down; the dogs immediately scarf them up. The woman goes, “Okay, I guess I’ll take a few packs.” As she heads to the register, a soft sound fills the store:
hork hork hork
We all turn. It’s obvious what’s coming. But we’re too late to stop it.
hork hork hork
The first pug launches and throws up all over the second pug. The second pug launches and throws up all over the rival dog-food rep. The woman slowly pulls back the credit card she’d been about to hand over and rushes out, her two puke-covered dogs trotting behind her. The rival rep had to clean up the mess. I had to step outside because I was laughing so hard.
11. High But Not Dry
A few years ago, I was in college, walking down the sidewalk to my next class. It had just finished pouring, and the road was dotted with huge puddles. The rain had stopped, though, and I’m just walking along with my umbrella in hand—nothing special.
Coming toward me was a group of four girls—really pretty, but with a super snobby vibe. The kind of people who look like they’ll roll their eyes at you if you so much as glance their way. As they got closer, I noticed a big, rusty pickup truck flying down the road straight toward us.
Puddles. Pickup truck. People on the sidewalk.
I instantly knew what was about to happen.
So I quickly dropped into a crouch and popped my umbrella open, angled toward the road. The girls were maybe five feet in front of me. One of them goes, in that snobby tone, “Um, what are you doing?” The others start laughing.
VRRROOOOMMMM!!! SSSSSSSPLASHHH!!!
The truck swerved right through the puddle and launched this huge wave of muddy water up onto the sidewalk. It even honked as it kept going like nothing happened. I couldn’t believe it—somehow, not a single drop touched me. My dorky little ninja move actually worked.
The girls, though, were soaked from head to toe in nasty, muddy water—hair wrecked, clothes splattered and stained, their smug expressions just frozen in shock. I stood up, totally calm, and said, “Staying dry.” Still the most epic moment I’ve ever had.
12. Parting Gifts
My soon-to-be ex-wife got a DUI while she was out with the guy she left me for—less than a week after she told me and moved out. And then, within a week of that charge, I had the satisfaction of telling her that, legally, I get to keep the house and both vehicles, and I’m not required to repay anything from the $10k her parents gave me years ago for the down payment (back before we were married).
Within a month, she went from being married with a strong combined income, living in a nice house in a good neighborhood and driving a 2010 Jetta, to moving back in with her parents (at 31), not having a car, and carrying credit card debt that nearly matches her modest public-school teacher salary. Honestly, that’s a rough turn of events.
13. Foul Flowergirl
I went to a wedding a few years ago, and one of the bride’s younger cousins was incredibly obnoxious. Her mom was even worse, which probably explains why the kid acted the way she did. All afternoon I heard comments like, “I would NEVER shop at Walmart. All MY clothes are name brand.” She was a total handful.
She said that to a seven-year-old girl wearing a really cute dress, who proudly told everyone her mom bought it at Walmart on sale. Later, while we were eating cake, the kid said something even worse. She actually took some of the seven-year-old’s dessert and said, “It’s for your own good—you’re too chubby.” But the thing that really set me off was when she started bragging about how she was going to catch the bouquet.
By then, every adult there was completely fed up with her, and I decided I was going to catch that bouquet myself. When it was time for the toss, I positioned myself and gave my friend—the bride—a quick wink. She threw it right toward me, and the 12-year-old dove for it. I bumped her in the face with my elbow and caught the flowers. I didn’t feel even a little bad about it.
14. Not A Big Fan
At most sporting events, you’re bound to run into a few of the worst kinds of people. Most folks are decent and just there to cut loose and have a good time with friends, usually pretty drunk. But some people—either because they’ve had way too much to drink or because they’re just plain rude—take it way too far.
One guy and his buddies I remember from a hockey game were the worst. A random drunken outburst can be one of the funniest parts of being there, but this guy was clearly just doing it for attention. The entire first period he was a nonstop stream of swearing and pointless yelling, loud as can be.
Eventually, a dad sitting nearby with his two young sons told him to knock it off. The guy immediately went into the whole tough-guy routine—staring him down and trying to bait him into a confrontation, with his buddies backing him up. A security guard doing rounds had already been watching and told him to sit down and, pretty hilariously, to “watch his freaking mouth.”
He quieted down, but in a mocking way—still loud, just swapping the swear words for less offensive ones. Every so often he’d shoot a glare at the dad. Near the end of the second period, he and his buddies disappeared. Right when we started to think he’d finally gotten kicked out, he came stumbling back, drink in hand, with only one of his friends.
As he headed up the steps to their seats, you could tell he was barely holding it together. He made it maybe 15 steps and tried to switch the hand holding his drink. And that’s when it happened. Just as someone yelled, “Don’t mess up!” the little adjustment wrecked his already shaky balance, and he tipped backward.
He dumped his drink all over himself, rolled right over his smaller buddy, tumbled down the steps, and ended up at the feet of the same security guard who’d warned him earlier. That fall—and the ejection that followed—got the loudest applause of the night.
15. Cart Him, Boys
I work at a supermarket, and once I told a kid who was running around and screaming that he had to go to “grocery jail.” He probably thought I was kidding at the time, but no, I really wasn’t. I had him sit in a shopping cart next to me that I’d lined with Limburger cheese until his parents showed up. I think they were just relieved to have him out of the way.
16. The Cost Of Caring
My disorganized and difficult boss put everyone in the office through a lot of stress before his overseas trip. He had the IT department working overtime to get him new tech so he could keep working over the hotel Wi‑Fi. Once he got there, he complained constantly that he couldn’t connect to the hotel Wi‑Fi—even though no one else on the same trip has had any issues.
He’s been emailing and micromanaging from his laptop, using his phone as a hotspot. But he overlooked one important detail: he never requested international data roaming on his phone. I just found out that in one week he racked up $4,000 in data charges. That probably explains why I haven’t received any emails from him in days.
17. Sold Out Of Love
My wife had been quietly taking money out of our marriage—about $1,000 a month. It went on for a few years before I caught on. I thought she was saving it, but she was actually moving it into accounts tied to her dad. And it didn’t stop there. She started buying things on our joint credit card and then reselling them on eBay.
I paid off the card, but then I decided I was done. I filed for divorce without telling her first. Around the same time, I removed my name from the joint card—also without telling her—and switched to using a credit card in my own name. When that month’s bill arrived, I told her I wasn’t paying the credit card bills anymore. She had her own job and her own income, and she could cover her own spending.
She reacted exactly how you’d expect, but I held my ground. About a week later, she threw a loud, foot-stomping fit about how her eBay “business” wasn’t even worth it anymore—because now she actually had to pay for her own inventory instead of selling things I’d paid for.
I won’t pretend I didn’t smile a little. In the end, I used the money she took—and my decision not to pursue the legal trouble she could’ve faced over how it was moved—as leverage to negotiate shared custody, no payments to her, and no claim on the house or other assets. She walked away with less than she would have if she’d been upfront. I kept the house, and our divorce was finalized four months ago.
18. HR Nightmare
I was on a two-person team, and when the woman I worked with quit, they decided not to replace her. That meant whenever I needed to use my paid time off (PTO) to take time off—which happened fairly often because I have a young child who gets sick now and then—it turned into a big problem. I gave my manager, who worked out of a remote office, several ideas for how we could fix it, but she wouldn’t listen to any of them.
Eventually she sent me a really angry email basically saying I couldn’t use my PTO when my son got sick. I replied with a long, detailed message listing every solution I’d suggested, plus the fact that I’d been the only person in my role for months. I also pointed out that company policy clearly says—bolded, no less—that using PTO to care for a sick loved one is not only allowed, but encouraged.
My manager wrote back saying she’d forward my concerns to HR, and that I should probably update my resume. The thing is, HR happened to be in our office that day—for the first time in six months. Funny timing, right? So I went in, asked if I could talk about an issue involving my manager, and explained everything exactly as it happened.
The HR rep got this expression like she was ready to take action. She asked me to forward the entire email chain, so I did. She called me back with surprising news: apparently multiple people told her the office basically can’t function without me, and that I’ve been doing the work of three people for the last nine months.
Later that day, my manager sent me another angry message saying I was fired for “creating a hostile work environment.” I forwarded that to the HR rep. She looked at me and said, very calmly, “Not a chance—she’s in serious trouble.” And that’s pretty much how my manager went from making $80k a year to being fired on a Wednesday, with no compensation, no benefits, and no way to collect unemployment.
All in all, it was a very productive day.
19. Leap Of Faith
We don’t get a lot of kids in my coffee shop, but when we do, most of the time they’re completely out of control and their parents just let them run around. I work at a busy store, so we have those rope line dividers that snake through the front. One girl, maybe six or seven, decided it would be a great idea to start hopping over the dividers.
That alone wouldn’t have bothered me too much, but she kept doing it for nearly an hour, getting in the way of paying customers the whole time. I was running the shift, so I politely asked her if she could please stop, because she might get hurt. In the most rude tone, she snapped, “You’re not the boss of me!” and went right back to jumping.
One of my employees suggested I go talk to the parents. I had a different idea. “Just wait and watch,” I told her. I noticed that with each jump, she was clearing the rope by less and less, and it felt like only a matter of time before it caught up with her. Sure enough, about five minutes later, the kid tried another jump, got her foot tangled in the rope, and went down hard on the tiles, face first.
It was a pretty satisfying thud. She wasn’t seriously hurt or anything, but she immediately started wailing. Her nowhere-to-be-seen parents rushed over and started yelling at me like it was my fault, so I told them my job was to make coffee, not raise their child for them. They stormed out, dragging their crying kid along with them.
20. Have A Nice Trip
This kid was sprinting around the restaurant in a big loop, over and over, yelling and bumping into things and even knocking items off people’s tables. He flew past my table one too many times… and I stuck my foot out and tripped him. He went down hard, slid forward, and landed face-first. Then he popped back up and started crying and shouting at me. His parents grabbed him and rushed him out without saying a word.
Wikimedia Commons Mindaugas Danys
21. I’m Taking You All Down With Me
I once had a boss who was a real jerk. He was several rungs up the ladder and was basically a waste of space and money. When the company was going through a “reorganization,” he realized his role would be seen as pointless and made sure to get on the committee that reviewed the org chart.
He arranged to have the guy below him—who worked incredibly hard—fired, and then he “took” on those responsibilities, without actually being productive in any way. After that, he pushed for investigations into the staff to figure out who was still loyal to the manager who’d been let go. That led to a bunch of us getting written up for talking to each other about how our former boss was doing great at his new job.
I eventually quit after realizing there was no winning against this guy. He had already gotten rid of two or three other people by coming up with ridiculous excuses to “discipline” them. After I left, he went on to push out all of the productive employees. A few years later, I got a call from my mother: that company had lost its biggest contract and had gone under. That boss was the main reason the whole place collapsed. I still can’t help but love that ending.
22. Pennies From Heaven
I used to deliver pizza for Domino’s. It was my last shift, and there was this one house that was always rude. For example, I called to ask what the house looked like, and they said, “I gave you the address,” and hung up. They never tipped, either. I got to their house and they handed me a check for one cent less than the total.
I told them, “I’m going to need the extra penny.” They grumbled and took their time, clearly hoping I’d just give up, but I stood there holding the pizza. Eventually they came back, annoyed, and gave me the penny. Then I got my little bit of payback: I took the penny, tossed it into the street, and left. They saw me do it, too. It was pretty satisfying.
23. Teach Yourself
I once had two students write in my TA evaluation that I was the “worst TA ever.” They said they were majors in the subject and were “highly concerned if this was the quality of education the department provides,” and one even said they were “considering transferring.” It really felt like they were trying to get me in trouble or fired—without realizing I’m the only one who actually sees those comments.
A few terms later, I ended up teaching a class they were in (not as their TA), and I watched them struggle and ultimately fail. One of them had my lab mate as a TA, and I heard my lab mate complain about how arrogant she was—especially given how poorly she was doing (my lab mate is less patient than I am). I’ll admit I got a little too much satisfaction out of grading their exams.
burst
24. How Do You Like Them Cookies
At the end of a long commute home after a tough week, I stopped by a Millie’s Cookies shop right before closing. As I walked up to the counter, some guy rushed up from behind me and tried to cut in line. Luckily, the girl working there said I was next. Feeling pretty annoyed—and seeing there weren’t many cookies left—I said, “Hi, I’ll take everything you’ve got.” It cost me almost $60, but honestly, it was totally worth it.
25. No Vacancy
When I was nine, my dad and I spent about an hour driving around a small town in Europe trying to find a place to stay, but everywhere we stopped kept telling us they were full. Eventually, we pulled up to what felt like the hundredth hotel of the night. As we walked in, we heard the front desk clerk tell another guest that they had one room left.
The guy was kind of rude and impatient, and he said sharply, “I’ll have to check with my wife.” Right then, my dad called out from across the lobby, “I’ll take it.” The guy’s eyes went wide—he spun around and blurted, “I’LL take it!” The clerk looked at him and said, “I’m sorry, sir, but we’ve just sold out.”
26. How The Other Half Gives
I was having a rough night working at Subway when this kid came in and ordered a foot-long sub. The whole time I’m trying to take his order, he mumbles, sighs, wanders off, and keeps saying, “I dunno.” Overall, he’s acting really immature and making it harder than it needs to be. Then when it’s time to pay, he gives me this smug little grin and says he doesn’t have enough cash.
He’s close, but he’s short by about 40 cents. So I said, “No problem, little guy—let me just ring that up as a six-inch.” He looks way too pleased with himself, like his little plan worked, but he had no idea what was about to happen. Before I rang it up, I took the sandwich back, cut it in half, and handed him one half with his change—then tossed the other half in the trash. Problem solved.
27. Do Not Pass “Go”
Back when I was younger and working at a not-so-great job, one customer got angry because he had to wait in line like everyone else before he could buy anything. He actually said, “Do you know who I am? I own hotels!” So I answered, “I’m sorry, sir, but this isn’t Monopoly—this is Krispy Kreme.” He definitely wasn’t happy.
28. Revenge Is Sweet
My wife used to keep these little Godiva chocolates she likes in her desk at work, but she started noticing a few going missing and figured it was probably someone from the overnight cleaning crew. Tired of losing her not-cheap treats, she decided to get back at the chocolate thief by swapping the real ones with small squares of chocolate laxatives that look just like the candies.
The next morning, she saw that several of the laxatives were gone, and after that, she never lost another one of her good chocolates again.
29. Don’t Call Me, I’ll Call You
I was biking to work one day, and as I was crossing the street, a woman hit me with her car. She rolled right through the crosswalk while looking to make a right turn and drove straight into me. Her fender clipped me hard enough to send me down, and I ended up with bruises all along my side. She did stop—but not to check if I was okay.
Instead, she just gave me this annoyed little “my bad” wave and kept talking on her cell phone, acting like I wasn’t even there while I picked myself and my bike up. So I walked up to her open window, took the phone right from her ear, and hurled it into a nearby parking lot as hard as I could. Honestly, I think that was the farthest I’ve ever thrown anything.
She just stared at me, completely stunned, while I got back on my bike and rode off—still angry, but feeling like I’d won that moment.
30. Win Win For Us
I live in a small town and worked at a fish and chip shop—one of only two in town. Since we were a tourist spot, one of the big attractions was our award-winning fish and chips. People in town assumed we were in a huge rivalry with the other shop, but we really weren’t. We had 25+ staff and they had about seven, so we were serving thousands more customers than they were.
Every now and then, when a customer got upset, they’d say something like, “Well, I’m going to [competitor’s name] and I’m NOT coming back!” as if it was a major threat that would hurt our business. We’d usually respond that that was fine—we didn’t need them to come back—and we hoped they enjoyed the other place.
The funny part was, we actually owned both shops.
31. Family Feud
In grade school, when I was about 11, a boy on the school bus kept teasing my nine-year-old brother. For months, he just wouldn’t stop picking on him. I finally got fed up, confronted him, and told him to cut it out. It didn’t change a thing.
The second I backed off, the teasing started right back up. So I took it a step further. I slid into the seat with him like it was no big deal, then I shoved his head into the window hard enough that it cracked. He didn’t say anything, but I could tell he was trying not to cry. After that, I went back to my seat. He never bothered my brother again—and honestly, neither did anyone else on that bus.
I’m not usually a physical person, but watching my little brother get picked on every day pushed me over the edge. I didn’t feel bad about it, because I thought he’d brought it on himself. Still, I surprised myself that I actually did it—but I’d do it again in a second to protect my brother. You don’t mess with my family.
32. Keep Your Friends Close…
A girl on my softball team picked on me and spread rumors about me to the team and coaches. We were both going for the same position. She was in my geometry class and tried to befriend me because I was good at geometry and she wasn’t. For a while, I let her copy my homework, but one day I gave her the wrong answers and turned in the correct ones for myself.
33. Happy Wife, Happy Life
My uncle was a well-known, busy doctor. My aunt was a stay-at-home mom with two kids. He was very strict and liked everything done a certain way: the same breakfast at the same time every morning, his clothes folded or hung just right, a particular drink waiting when he got home, and dinner served at a set time each night, following a rotating menu.
This went on for decades, until he eventually passed away. But one night—meatloaf night—after years of never complaining, my uncle suddenly explodes. He yells at my aunt that her meatloaf is terrible, that he can’t believe she can’t cook something so simple, and then he actually throws his full dinner plate across the room.
My aunt—quiet, loyal, and used to keeping the peace after more than twenty years of marriage at that point—just apologizes and cleans up the mess, promising to make it better next time. But later, the real story came out. After my uncle died—they’d been married for 52 years—she admitted to my mother that she’d been feeding him meatloaf made entirely from Alpo (wet, canned dog food) for the past 30 years, and he never complained once.
34. It’s Payback Time
My college roommate definitely had only-child syndrome. She literally taped a piece of paper over her clock because she didn’t want to “share it with me.” Never mind that she couldn’t even see the clock herself—she’d rather nobody see it than let me see it. After that, I started taking one sock from a pair about once a week.
It was slow enough that she didn’t realize I was the one messing with her socks, but steady enough that she got really irritated and kept wondering what on earth was happening to all her matching pairs of socks.
35. Driving Miss Crazy
I volunteer at my university doing Safe Walks and that kind of thing. We’re required to report anything suspicious. One time I saw a woman in a Mercedes-Benz drive across a lawn to get around the parking gate, totally tearing up this beautiful grass.
I wasn’t thrilled, so we reported it to the parking office. The timing couldn’t have been better. They showed up while she was still grabbing stuff from her trunk, boxed her in, and started writing a ticket. She ended up trying to drive off over a curb and ripped her bumper partly off in the process. I’ll admit, I felt pretty satisfied about that.
36. A Little Humble Pie
Back when I was a waitress, I worked at this BBQ place with really narrow, awkwardly set-up tables, so I always had to lean over a bit to serve food. Anyway, there was this table with an incredibly obnoxious 4-year-old who kept grabbing at everything—my hands, my clothes, and the tray I was serving from. He even untied my apron, and my pens and cash went flying everywhere. This went on through their entire meal.
Meanwhile, the parents didn’t do a thing about it. The dad even said it served me right for taking a job in food service. Total rude people, and I knew I wasn’t getting a decent tip. So near the end of the meal, they ordered dessert—peanut butter silk pie, which is basically sticky, gooey heaven. And I knew exactly what to do.
I made sure to top it with an extra-big mound of whipped cream and balanced it a little too carefully on the edge of my tray, with a couple of soda refills for the parents on the other side. Sure enough, when I got to the table, the kid reached for the tray and everything conveniently tipped right over onto him and his parents.
They ended up covered in diet coke, whipped cream, and the stickiest peanut butter pie you can imagine. I did my best “shocked” face and said, “I am SO sorry. Guess that’s what happens when you have kids.” I even made it back to the kitchen before I started laughing—along with most of the staff. Honestly, it felt deserved.
37. Flying Too Close To The Sun
While I was teaching in Japan, there was one kid who was a real handful. He had no respect for me or the other students. I talked to my office about it several times because I felt he could be a danger to the other kids, but I was told that in Japan it’s common to give children a lot of freedom when they’re young, since they’ll be under heavy pressure once they reach junior high.
One day, he was being especially disruptive and actually shoved a little girl. She fell face-first onto the floor and hit her forehead hard. The students were only about four or five years old. When I went to check on her, she had a huge bump swelling up on her forehead—at least the size of a golf ball, maybe bigger.
I called my office to report what happened while holding him back, and he dug his nails into my arm hard enough to draw blood. All they told me was to do my best for the rest of the lesson, and that we could try to let the girl’s mom know what happened. I knew I had to do something. Long story short, near the end of class we were drawing pictures, and he decided to make a paper airplane instead.
He started throwing it around, laughing, and having a great time. That’s when I shut it down. I took the airplane from him, crumpled it up right in front of him, and tossed it in the trash. He completely broke down and cried nonstop for the last few minutes of class. I don’t regret it.
38. No Salad For You!
We had a customer who would order a salad, and when she finished, she’d place one of her own hairs in the bowl to try to get a refund. The first time, she got the complimentary “I’m sorry” free bakery item. Then she started doing it every day.
Eventually, the manager sat down at her table and told her this would be her last day eating in the café. He said they weren’t refunding her meal that day, and they wouldn’t be serving her in the future.
She started to say something about how the customer is always right, but he held up his hand to stop her. Then he said, very plainly: “You cost us money every day. You’re not really a customer—you’re a liability—and you’re no longer welcome here.” It was incredibly satisfying, and I’ll never forget it.
39. Never Too Late To Learn
A woman in her mid-50s stepped in front of me and my two-year-old daughter in line at a restaurant. I was in the middle of getting my daughter a cookie and was in a rush, because I was handling a two-year-old. So I snapped at the woman, “How is it that you’re old enough to know better and you still don’t understand how a line works?” She didn’t say a word.
40. A Cinderella Epilogue
I spent most of my teen years being picked on by my ex-stepmother and her daughter. My stepmother always acted like her daughter was an angel—the perfect child—no matter what she did. She tried to set my dad up with a pedophilia accusation, took and sold substances from our house, tried to stab me with a knife because she’d been grounded and wasn’t allowed out, and would cause a massive scene any time she didn’t get her way.
So yeah, I was treated like dirt by her mother. For seven years I basically lived in a closet with a window. My dad and my mum had to quietly buy me gifts for things like good exam results. My mum got me my first decent laptop for my GCSEs, while my stepmother insulted my intelligence and called me spoiled.
I was always treated like I was the real problem—like I was the one constantly in trouble with the law. I’m not saying I was completely neglected, and I know I had it better than some kids. But it was still a pretty miserable situation. Recently I’ve actually made something of my life: I’m at university and getting the grades I always wanted. And that’s not even all.
My dad finally kicked my stepmother out, and she’s been begging him to take her back (it’s not happening), and my stepsister ended up pregnant (not an accident—more like carelessness) and has only just avoided going to jail. I can’t help but smile when I think about it.
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41. Here Today, Gone Tomorrow
Someone in a Humvee decided to park in a handicap spot at a Kroger. I was pretty young then, riding around with my dad, who worked as a repo man and was driving his repo truck. My dad hooked up the Humvee and towed it to a spot on the opposite side of the parking lot. Then we waited to see what would happen when the owner came out and started looking around in total disbelief.
She honestly looked like she thought someone had stolen her vehicle. My dad pulled up next to her, rolled down the window, and said, “Are you okay, ma’am?” She said, clearly worried, “My car was taken.” My dad stayed calm and replied, “Well, maybe you shouldn’t have parked it in a handicap spot,” gave her a quick smile, and drove off.
42. Technical Victory
A really difficult former co-worker of mine always insisted she worked far more hours than she actually did, and when she was at work she mostly just browsed Facebook all day. The doctor who owned the office was very hands-off and basically let her do whatever she wanted, even after I went to him with proof—so I decided to get even.
She wasn’t very computer-savvy, so I removed the Internet Explorer icon from her desktop and replaced it with an identical-looking one that, when clicked, would instantly restart the computer. It was honestly pretty satisfying when she forgot and clicked it, losing whatever she’d been working on. She’d always grumble and complain about her computer “acting up.”
43. Spitting Distance
While I was at the zoo, I kept running into the same group of people. Their kid had endless energy and was totally out of control. He kept throwing things—like popcorn—at everything. Me included. I asked his parents a few times to please do something about it, but nothing changed. Eventually I turned left while they went right and figured that was the end of it, but a little later we ended up next to each other again.
I was hoping the kid had calmed down, but he was just as loud and rude as before. We stopped in front of the camels, and I said to him, “Hey kid, come here and look at this.” For anyone who doesn’t know, camels spit. The kid started tossing popcorn at the camel and shouting at it. Finally, the camel had enough and spit a huge wad.
It hit the side of the kid’s face and slid down onto his shirt. I won’t lie—it was pretty satisfying to see. He started crying and yelling, ran to his parents, and told them I “made” the camel spit on him. His dad immediately scolded him and said, “Are you bothering that man again?” Then he got a quick swat on the backside, and they left the zoo.
44. Don’t Meet Your Heroes
I worked at Toys “R” Us twice as a seasonal employee around the big holidays, like Christmas and all that. You have to find ways to keep yourself entertained and not lose your mind with all the noisy kids and stressed-out parents. I did one pretty terrible thing back then, and honestly, I still don’t feel bad about it.
I was scheduled for the first shift on Black Friday, and they put me in the Geoffrey the Giraffe costume. Rule number one: don’t talk. Just dance around, pose for pictures, and keep your mouth shut—basically, don’t spoil the illusion for the kids. But this one really misbehaved kid kept punching me “down there” while we were posing for a photo. I was wearing the suit, but it still hurt. He wouldn’t stop, so after the picture was taken, I got back at him.
I knelt down, brought the giraffe head down to his eye level, and whispered, “Your parents told me not to say anything, but you were adopted.” The kid instantly started sobbing—loud, full-on crying. The best part was the parents complained, but since I was in costume and they’d just hired a bunch of new people, they had no idea who did it.
45. Justice Is Just Around The Corner
I used to work as a lifeguard in high school at a community pool with a big, twisty water slide. We always had a guard stationed at the slide for safety and all that, and one thing we had to watch out for was kids wearing those bathing suits with built-in life jackets. Because of the extra buoyancy, those kids would almost always end up bouncing off the sides around the turns and hitting their heads pretty hard. It happened basically every time.
One day, a boy wearing one of those life-jacket suits came up to go down the slide while I was on duty. I told him he couldn’t, because it was a safety issue and we’d seen injuries happen before. About five minutes later, his mom walked over and immediately started yelling about how I wouldn’t let her kid use the slide. I tried to calmly explain the policy and why we had it, but she wasn’t interested in hearing any of it.
The whole time, the kid was standing behind her with this smug little look, like he already knew he was going to get his way. After a few minutes, I finally gave in and said, “Fine—go down the slide. Prove me wrong.” And sure enough, when he was about halfway down, I heard two loud thuds as he got knocked around inside the slide.
As soon as he came out, he started crying. I would’ve given him first aid (at least an ice pack), because that’s part of the job, but his mom just scooped him up—still crying—and walked off without looking at anyone. I know it was probably more on the mom than the kid, but seeing that smug expression disappear was pretty satisfying.
46. Deal Or No Deal
I heard this story from a DJ in my hometown. He’s pushing his grocery cart out of the store toward his car when a woman pulls into the handicapped spot right in front. No placard, no disabled plates. She hops out without even a hint of a limp and heads straight into the store. He gives her a look for taking the spot, and she snaps, “Deal with it,” as she strolls inside.
Now he’s steaming. He notices a couple of officers leaning against their cars and talking nearby, but they didn’t see what happened. So he walks over and explains the situation. They grin and tell him they’ll take care of it. He loads his groceries into his car, and when he’s pushing the cart back to the store, he sees the officers have parked their cars in a way that blocks the woman’s car in.
A little later, the woman comes out with her stuff, spots the officers, and her face goes pale. He walks over and says, “I dealt with it.”
47. Wait Your Turn
I was stuck in a huge line at a store. I’m next, but the person in front of me has a ton of stuff. A helpful clerk notices the backup and opens another register, saying, “I can help the next customer.” That’s me. But as I’m walking over, this rude guy from the very end of the line comes rushing up, cutting in front of people, with his partner right behind him.
He gets there just before I do. They’ve got a cart piled high, and he immediately starts unloading everything onto the counter. I’m standing there with my one item, trying not to lose it. But the cashier handled it perfectly. She waits until he finishes piling all his stuff up, looks at me, looks at him, and says, “I’m sorry, sir—you’ll need to go to the end of the line.”
And by now, the line is enormous. I put on my biggest smile, held eye contact with him as long as I could, and told the cashier—loudly—how great she was.
48. I Vote No
Just the other day, I was at a Chinese buffet, and the three people in the booth next to me were questioning the waitress about voting. She was having trouble understanding them and explaining that she wasn’t able to vote. They immediately started making fun of her. After the waitress walked away, one of the girls at the table looked up and asked me where I worked because she thought I looked familiar.
I told her I work at the local university in the social work department, and she said she’d recently been in my office to apply to our program. So I replied, “Yes, I remember you—and I’m also on the admissions committee.” The color drained from her face, and she realized she’d really messed up. Karma can be tough.
49. Fury Road
The other day, my wife and I were heading home from bowling, and we ended up behind a truck in the left lane, next to a Maserati with a real “Karen” type driving it. Out of nowhere, this woman yanks her car over without signaling, cutting in front of the truck and missing him by just a few inches. The whole time, she’s acting like it was somehow his fault, even though she swerved and put everyone in danger.
The truck driver responded by cutting her off the same way she did to him, and then someone else pulled up behind her and paced her in the other lane so she couldn’t get around the truck again. I’ll admit we joined in at that point, too. The woman was losing it the whole time, yelling and cursing. Later we found out the truck driver actually lives in our apartment complex, and there were high fives all around.
50. Cashing In
Years ago, I was in the express checkout line at a grocery store, and it was backed up. The guy behind me started huffing and puffing about people paying with credit cards. “Doesn’t anyone use cash anymore?” “They should have a cash-only line.” As more people used their cards, he got louder and louder with the same complaint.
I was buying a $1.25 pack of gum and had $2 cash in my hand. It was too tempting. When it was my turn, I rang up the gum, slipped the $2 back into my wallet, and pulled out my credit card instead. The look on his face was priceless. Even the cashier had to laugh a little as she handed me the receipt, and the guy muttered under his breath while I signed and gave it back. Totally made my day.
51. Do You Even Lift, Bro?
This guy at the gym was picking on a couple of 14-year-old kids, telling them to put some “man weights” on the bar and stop lifting so light. Every time they tried a new exercise, he’d walk over and do it again, clearly trying to embarrass them. I was annoyed, but I was tired and let it go… the first time.
But then it happened again. The same kids came in two days later, and the guy was there too. He started doing the exact same thing. That was my limit. I walked up right next to him, loaded up about double what he was lifting, and repeated everything he’d just said to the kids over the last five minutes—while looking him straight in the face.
He quickly moved on to another exercise, but I wasn’t done. The kids were looking at me like I was Batman. I followed him to the next three exercises and gave him the same treatment, saying the same lines the way he had. After that, he left. I never saw him at the gym again, and those boys kept coming back and have been making steady gains for over a year now.
52. Sit Down, Lady
Today on the train, I sat next to a woman who was clearly irritated and seemed to want both seats to herself. While I was sitting there, she kept muttering under her breath about how she just wanted to sit alone.
I wanted to tell her it was public transportation and she’d have to deal with it, but I stayed quiet. Then, in an unexpected twist, things didn’t go her way. A few minutes later, a larger woman carrying a big purse got on and stood near us. I caught her eye and told her she could have my seat.
She made her way over with a bit of effort, and I helped her sit down, all while smiling at the annoyed woman who’d been upset I sat next to her in the first place. I’ll admit, I couldn’t help enjoying the moment as she had to spend the rest of the ride squeezed in by the other woman and her purse.
53. The Missing Piece
My roommate and her significant other loved working on really elaborate jigsaw puzzles. After I found out she’d canceled our lease and left me with just one week to find a new place to live, I threw away one piece from two different puzzles they were in the middle of. And before you ask, she was able to do that because I was 17 and couldn’t legally sign a lease.
54. Hat’s Off To You
**The Poop Hat.** I found a hat in the car I share with my ex. It wasn’t mine—it belonged to the woman he’d been cheating with during the last two years of our marriage. I dipped a cotton swab into my dog’s freshly left poop and carefully traced a thin line along the inside rim of her hat, then gently set it back on the seat where I’d found it.
I returned the car to my ex the next day. The next time I borrowed it, the Poop Hat was gone. My only regret is that I don’t have a photo of her wearing it.
55. Call On Me
When I was a kid, I tried to call my aunt. For some reason, I accidentally dialed a 6 instead of a 3, and the guy who answered yelled at me and accused me of being a telemarketer. I was so shocked that I didn’t even hang up right away. My petty revenge was giving his number to all my friends, and for about two weeks we called him every day at all hours.
56. Horrible Bosses
I used to work shifts years ago, including regular night shifts. My boss wasn’t a very pleasant person, to put it mildly. He’d leave his keys sitting on top of his locker. One night I brought a small file to work and gently filed down one or two teeth on his front door key. The next day he was telling everyone how he got home, his door lock wouldn’t work, and he had to call a locksmith.
It happened again a couple of months later. Then his car key got the same kind of attention. I stopped after that, because I heard him say it was starting to seem suspicious that all these locks kept failing. But that’s not even the best part. Without me knowing, other coworkers didn’t like him either. One night his entire locker disappeared. The rumor was that it’s now part of the foundations of an office building in London.
57. You Just Got Served
When we were younger, my sister had two friends over at our house. It wasn’t the first time they’d come over, and one of my sister’s friends was really mean to animals. The last time she was here, she pushed our cat’s face into a glass of chocolate milk, pulled its tail, and was just awful.
Later on, my brother and I were outside under our balcony, which is about five meters off the ground. Up on the balcony, my sister and her two friends were standing there. My brother was bouncing a tennis ball, and that mean friend told us to throw it up to them and said they’d catch it.
So my brother threw it up hard and aimed right at her face. The ball flew up and hit her straight in the face. She just stood there for a couple seconds, like she was trying to figure out what happened, and then her face crumpled and she started crying really hard. My brother and I got this strong “yes!” feeling.
58. Face Control
About a year ago, I was working as a manager at a large nightclub. I didn’t wear a uniform, but I carried a radio and oversaw the security team. The venue had a great smoking area that looked out onto the street. One night it was packed, so I did my usual walk-around to make sure everything was fine. Since it was too crowded to move through the smoking section, I stepped outside and walked along the street instead to keep an eye on it.
This one guy locked eyes with me, then called me over and immediately started cursing at me for no reason. He went on about how “people like you could never even get into a place like this.” Clearly, he had no idea I was the manager.
He kept saying he was going to hit me, and it was obvious he was trying to act tough to impress someone. So I decided to handle it in the simplest way. I calmly agreed and told him to meet me outside—and that he could even take a free shot. He set his drink down, took off his jacket, and marched outside.
As soon as he stepped out, I went back inside and told security not to let him back in. The look on his face when he realized I ran the place was priceless—and realizing he couldn’t get back into the club made it even better. It was easily the simplest and most satisfying removal I’ve ever had to do.
59. A Price For Everything
I work at a retail store where we only accept returns if the clothing still has the tags on. One customer came in and was unusually rude to our staff from the moment she walked in and started browsing. She called the two women working “dumb idiots,” which really upset me. Still, I made sure I handled the situation my way.
When she came up to the register, she told me outright that she’d probably return everything she was buying because she was only trying to impress her friends. So, while I was bagging everything up, I removed all the tags from the clothes. I felt like I did a small good deed that day.
60. Falling For You
I used to deliver pizza, and one time I had a delivery to a brownstone with a small stoop. It was either the week of Christmas or Thanksgiving, and we’d had snow and ice a couple days earlier. I pulled up, and it looked like there was some kind of family get-together going on because a handful of people were outside talking.
When I got out of the car, someone on the porch opened the door and yelled inside for whoever was paying to come out. The woman came to the door as I was walking up the sidewalk. I was carrying a pizza and a couple bags with wings or whatever, so I had my hands pretty full.
Then I hit a patch of ice, slipped, and went down on the sidewalk while everyone watched. The pizza flew out, the box popped open, and it landed face-down on the icy pavement—right in front of all these hungry people. I remember still being on the ground, trying to get up and grab the pizza, and hearing the woman start yelling at me.
She was furious that I dropped her food. She didn’t try to help me up, didn’t ask if I was okay, didn’t even acknowledge the ice—she just lost it. So I’m standing there holding this wrecked pizza while she lays into me in front of her family. I apologized the moment I fell, but she didn’t care. For a solid 20 or 30 seconds, she kept going on about the pizza.
So I set the pizza down at her feet on the porch, got back in my car, and left. I kept the wings with me so I had proof I hadn’t actually completed the delivery and hadn’t been paid. I’ve got a lot of delivery stories, but for some reason, that one has stuck with me for almost ten years.
61. A Brat Only A Mother Could Love
While shopping with my wife, there was this really misbehaving kid. He was running around, screaming at the top of his lungs, bumping into people’s carts, and being a total nuisance. His mom didn’t seem interested in what he was doing—she didn’t stop him and barely even looked his way while he tore through the store bothering everyone.
Then all of a sudden, he lost track of her. He stopped in the middle of the aisle, looked around, and started yelling angrily as loud as he could: “MOM?! MOOOOOM! MOOOOOOOOM!” I couldn’t spot her either, so I bent down and, in the sweetest sing-song voice I could manage, said, “Looks like your mom isn’t coming back.” The stunned look on his face felt like a win, even if it was a pretty harsh thing to say.
62. The Wrong Impression
I was working as a shift leader at a Dunkin’ Donuts, and I dealt with my fair share of rude customers. One day that really stands out, a group of women came in during our busiest time, a little after noon. The line was nearly out the door, we were short-staffed, and everything felt chaotic. While they were ordering, one of them asked for a job application and started filling it out right on the counter.
She handed it back before they were even done ordering, so I tucked it on a shelf under the register and got started on their food. They had a big order, and we worked as fast as we could, but from the expressions on their faces, it was clear it still wasn’t fast enough for them. They sat down to eat, and the woman who’d turned in the application got back in line.
I noticed her immediately. She was standing there with an angry look, arms crossed, tapping her foot—making sure everyone could see she was upset. So I waved her up to the counter because I figured she had a complaint and I wanted to fix it quickly. I assumed we’d mixed up her sandwich or missed something. Not even close.
I asked what was wrong, and she pointed at her bottled Mountain Dew and snapped, “THIS IS FLAT!” Like it was somehow my fault the sealed bottle she’d opened wasn’t right. I took it, told her to grab another one from the cooler, and suggested she check it first to make sure it was fine. After that, she asked for a refund.
I said, as politely as I could, “Ma’am, I replaced your soda. I’m sorry for the inconvenience, but I don’t think a refund is necessary.” She stomped back to her table, clearly furious over a totally normal interaction, and started complaining loudly to her friends about how she didn’t get a refund for the “flat” soda.
Since I was already having a rough day—and honestly couldn’t picture someone like that working with us—I grabbed her application, walked over to the trash can near her table, crumpled it up, and tossed it out while she watched. The look on her face was unforgettable, and I didn’t regret it for a second.
63. A Game Of Telephone
I work at a local theater, and we often get some really unpleasant women from the nearby ballet schools coming through. They’re usually the dancers’ mothers—you know, the super controlling “dance mom” type you see on TV.
One time, a woman called looking for seats to an almost sold-out ballet performance. Tickets had been on sale for four months, and she was calling the day before the show. It didn’t go well. She spent five minutes yelling at me because she’d waited too long to buy tickets, complained that she shouldn’t have to pay to see her own kid, complained that we should have a bigger venue, and then put me on hold so she could call three relatives to see if they wanted seats too.
She was truly awful. The seats I was about to sell her were the last ones in the theater—and they were actually good seats. While she had me on hold, a grandmother of one of the ballerinas came to the desk and politely asked if we had anything left. She told me she’d been in the hospital and couldn’t buy tickets earlier, and that she’d understand if we were fully booked.
Since the caller still had me on hold, I set the phone down, sold the last seats to the grandmother, and even gave her an invite for next year’s dance season so she’d have all the important dates ahead of time. She thanked me again and again, and now she’s one of our regulars and brings her grandkids to our shows. Meanwhile, the other woman…
A couple minutes after the grandmother left, the caller finally took me off hold and said she wanted the remaining seats. I told her, “Sorry—we just sold out while you had me on hold. Better luck next year. Is there anything else I can help you with?” She went silent with anger on the other end of the phone, and honestly, it was pretty satisfying.
64. Cash And Carry
I sometimes deliver pizza as a part-time job. There’s one customer who almost always pays with a huge bag of coins. And I don’t mean a bag full of quarters—I mean mostly dimes, nickels, and pennies. Since his order is usually around $20, the bag ends up weighing a few pounds. It’s a real hassle to count it all, so most drivers just assume it’s close enough and leave.
Most of the time, it’s the right amount or only a few cents over. I don’t think it’s accidental, either, because he always hands it over with this big grin. It’s such a headache that a lot of drivers know his address by heart and try to avoid taking his deliveries whenever they can. But one night I was already having a rough shift, and of course I got stuck with his house.
I remembered reading about someone paying at a checkout with a bag of change, and I figured I could use the same idea to deal with my frustration in the most petty way possible. I pulled up, left the pizza in the car, and rang the doorbell. When he answered, sure enough, he was holding the big bag of coins.
He asked where his pizza was, and I said, “New policy, sir. We have to count it before we can hand over the pizza.” Then I sat down on his doorstep and started counting everything out. At one point I even asked if he could turn on the porch light because I couldn’t see the coins very well. He actually stayed there while I counted the entire bag, even though it took about ten minutes.
He ended up being about a dollar over, so I started picking out pennies to give him his change, but he told me I could keep the extra as a tip. When I finally handed him the pizza, he quietly apologized and closed the door. The whole thing was incredibly awkward, and as far as I know, he hasn’t ordered from us in a while.
65. I Will Look For You, I Will Find You
I came out of the mall one day and saw that someone had hit my car. I asked a passerby what happened, and they said the person who hit it got out, checked the damage, and then quickly parked at the other end of the lot. They learned not to mess with me. I walked over to where the car was parked, matched the paint to confirm it was the one that hit mine, then I let the air out of all four tires and left a note on the windshield telling them to have a nice day.
66. Shop Till You Drop
While I was out shopping with a friend, this little kid was running around the store causing trouble. His mom was nowhere in sight, and he was just going wild—knocking over stacks of shirts and yelling at the top of his lungs, acting really out of control. This went on for at least five long minutes, the whole time we were standing in line to pay for our items.
Then we saw him sprinting straight toward us. My friend was completely fed up, so she came up with what she thought was a smart plan. The moment he bumped into us, she turned around with her newly purchased items and swung the bag right into him. The kid immediately started crying and screaming. We rushed out of there, and I honestly didn’t feel bad at all. It actually felt pretty satisfying.
67. Vigilante Justice
A couple years ago, we had a huge neighborhood water balloon fight on Easter. Everything was going fine until this little girl, maybe nine, ran off to grab another balloon. As she went past a boy around 12, the little punk stuck his foot out and tripped her. She hit the pavement face-first and started crying.
So I grabbed my balloon and tossed it in a perfect arc, hitting him square in the face. He went home crying, and I went home smiling.
68. Check Yourself Before You Wreck Yourself
When I worked at an indoor amusement park, we had one Friday each month called “Rock n Ride.” It was basically a bunch of middle-school kids showing up to ride rides and hang out on the dance floor. I almost always worked coat check. Most of the kids who came in were spoiled and pretty well-off, with big allowances, iPods, and stuff like that.
Coat check was supposed to be $1, but we charged $2 and kept the extra as a tip. Also, for liability reasons, you weren’t allowed to leave anything in your pockets. I’d tell kids that when their jackets were clearly weighed down with stuff. They’d usually say, “Nothing important is in there—I don’t care if it goes missing.” So…sometimes I’d take things anyway, like cash or an iPod.
Later, when they came to pick up their coats, they’d immediately check the pockets and get mad at us. But I did warn them. Everyone hated working that event…honestly, I don’t think they even do it anymore.
69. Customer Appreciation Day
I went in to get my exhaust fixed after I hit a pothole and messed it up. When I came back a couple of hours later to pick up my car, there was a woman yelling at the guy behind the counter. She was really worked up because she’d been waiting almost 30 minutes for her car to be finished. She even went as far as calling him an “insignificant lazy immigrant.”
He looked at her, then glanced at me. He tossed me my keys and said, “Here you go, your Magnum’s ready—no charge.” Then he looked her straight in the eye and said, “Looks like it’s going to cost more than we originally thought. Would you like us to call you a cab?” I came back shortly after with pizza for the shop.
70. Tears On My Guitar
I was at a guitar store once. I’m not a very good guitarist, but I was shopping for an amp and decided to test a few. I pulled a guitar off the wall, plugged into an amp, and started dialing in the settings the way I liked. A guy in a wheelchair came up, plugged into the amp next to me, cranked the volume, and started ripping through metal licks right beside me.
I gave him the benefit of the doubt, turned off the amp I was trying, and walked across the room to another one. I plugged in and started adjusting the settings again. Once more, he rolled over, plugged into the amp directly next to mine, turned it up to 11, and launched into playing as loud as he could.
A second time, I gave him the benefit of the doubt, walked away, and tried a third amp without saying anything. He rolled over again, plugged in, turned up, and started playing at full volume. I asked if he’d mind giving me a minute, since I was thinking about buying one of the amps. He replied, “I don’t know why you bother—you’re a bad guitarist, and I can do anything you can do ten times better.”
I looked him in the eye and said, “Not quite anything,” then reached up and hung the guitar back on the top rack, still holding eye contact.
71. Girl Power
My sister and I worked at Circuit City. She was helping an angry male customer who demanded to speak to the manager. When she went to get the manager, Laurie, the customer brushed her off, saying a woman couldn’t help him and insisting on speaking to another manager instead. So she went and got the next manager, Ruthanne.
By then he was furious and yelled, “Don’t any men work in this store?” I’d been listening, so I walked out and, in my most feminine voice, said, “Hello sir, can I help you?” He shouted and stormed out of the store.
72. A Classic Move
This was my best revenge. I went through a really rough divorce. My ex-wife cheated on me, spread lies about me, and through the whole process I tried to take the high road and stay present for my kids while she basically vanished. Her birthday was just a couple of weeks after the divorce was finalized.
Since the kids were still young, I tried to do the right thing and bought a few presents “from them” for her. But I also got one special “gift” that was just from me. Mixed in with everything else was a necklace with a big red “A” on the end. Her first name is Ann. I had the kids hand it to her, and she wore that necklace all over town. A lot of people around here knew what she’d done, and some even knew what the necklace meant. Yep, I got my cheating ex-wife to wear her own scarlet letter.
73. The Letter Of The Law
I was crossing the street when a guy almost ran me over, then he stopped his car to yell at me. What he didn’t know was that I was a law school student at the time, so I calmly quoted some (totally made-up) section of the state vehicle code. He stared at me for a few seconds, then said, “I’m sorry, miss,” and drove off looking pretty embarrassed.
74. Movie Magic
I was sitting in a movie theater when an older couple asked me to save two seats in the middle of our row. They needed to use the restroom, and since the row was completely packed, I figured it would be simple to hold the spots.
After a while, a curvy woman worked her way down the row and stopped right next to me. She looked at me and said, “Can you move?”
Trying to keep things polite, I smiled through the awkwardness and said, “Sorry, those seats are being saved.” Then she did something I honestly couldn’t believe—she tried to squeeze past my legs to get to the seats anyway. Her boyfriend just stood there. I stared at her, shocked, and repeated, “Those seats are saved.”
Then, I’m not exaggerating, she snapped her fingers right in front of my face and said, “WATCH ME.” By then, people around us were staring, and I wasn’t going to let her push through. I could tell she was about to try again, so I slouched down a bit and put my hands toward the seat in front of me to block her. She ended up bumping into my legs a couple of times and couldn’t get by.
I glanced at her boyfriend. He rolled his eyes and said, “Come on, let’s go.” The best part was that once the whole thing was over and the older couple came back, the people behind me asked me to save their seats too—because they said, “If anyone can handle it, it’s you.” For a moment, I felt like the hero of that theater.
75. Let’s Go To The Tape
I wear hearing aids, and when I was in high school, a girl in my math class used to make fun of me. I hadn’t even spoken to her, and I hadn’t done anything to her, so there was no reason for it—she was just being really mean. So I recorded her mocking my hearing loss on my phone and then played it for her parents. They ended up taking the new car they’d just bought her back to the dealership.
78. A Dog-Eat-Dog World
I’m walking in the city with my two dogs. They’re normal-sized dogs—meaning they’re not overweight like a lot of overfed city dogs. A woman walks by on the other side of the street. Out of nowhere, she stops and yells at me, “Your dogs look really skinny! They aren’t being fed properly!” She looks angry, like I’ve personally done something to her.
This rude woman is clearly already upset about something that has nothing to do with me and just wants to take it out on someone. But I don’t let strangers talk to me like that. I’m mad too. My dogs probably eat more calories than I do. I feed them high-quality, homemade food, plus raw meat and bones. Have you ever seen how a big dog reacts to raw meat? It’s basically dog heaven.
Luckily, this was one of those rare moments where I instantly knew what to say. I shouted back, “I can’t say the same about you!” The feeling as I walked away grinning was priceless. A few people nearby saw the whole thing, and I’m pretty sure I wasn’t the only one who got a smile out of it.
79. Not Paying Doesn’t Pay
When I was going through a divorce because my wife was unfaithful, I let her stay on my health insurance as long as she paid me each month to cover the premium until the divorce was finalized. She never paid me, so I had her removed from the plan the month before everything was final.
She also had a large nose and somehow convinced an unethical plastic surgeon to do a nose job and bill it to the insurance as “deviated septum” surgery. In the end, she was stuck with a $6,000 bill, and she probably would’ve avoided it if she’d just sent me a total of $270 for three months of health insurance.
80. Standing Up For The Little Guy
I play poker a lot. At one casino, there’s a ridiculously loud, obnoxious guy who shows up all the time. He fist-pumps and yells when he gets lucky against people. Totally classless. On top of that, he’s a bigger dude and tries to physically intimidate everyone. Now, I’m not a small guy either, but when I’m fairly clean-cut, I probably don’t look very intimidating.
I’m polite and friendly, and I know most of the dealers and about half the regulars by name. What this guy doesn’t know, though, is that I can handle myself—both with sharp words and, if it ever came to it, physically. So one day he was being his usual self, and I finally hit my limit. He starts verbally tearing into another player at the table for their “terrible call.”
So I blurt out, “Mike, buddy, I’ve been meaning to ask you—how’s that nasty rash you were dealing with?” The table went dead silent. He didn’t bother me, or anyone else, for the rest of that month.
81. Move, Get Out The Way
I was driving down a really narrow street, and two teenagers were walking right in the road. They could see me coming, but I guess they thought it was funny to stay in my way. After it stopped being “cute,” one of them stepped aside, but the other kept walking toward my car with this awful grin on his face. I figured I’d rev the engine to scare him a little, since honking hadn’t done anything.
Well, I definitely scared him. Totally by accident, my foot slipped off the brake and the car lurched forward toward him, and he was so shocked he didn’t even have time to move. Luckily for both of us, I didn’t hit him, but I did brush past his jacket as I drove by.
Watching his face go from annoyingly smug to completely terrified was honestly one of the most satisfying things I’ve ever seen. I’m sure he wasn’t hurt, but he might’ve embarrassed himself in front of the girl he was trying to impress.
82. Good Things Take Time
While I was working at McDonald’s, a rude customer told me to “MAKE IT AGAIN” and started going off on me. I almost lost my cool, but instead I threw my hands up and told my manager to handle it. My manager talked to him, then came back and said the guy was a regular troublemaker who comes in all the time. He told me to just make him another coffee.
I walked over to the drive-thru window, and the guy was sitting in his car fuming, complaining about how long it was taking. So I picked up the half-full pot of coffee I’d made no more than four minutes earlier and poured it out. Then I started brewing a whole new pot, just for him. I could tell it made him even angrier, so I went to the window and told him it would be another 5–6 minutes because the last pot was bad. He ended up peeling out of the drive-thru.
83. A Little Put-Down On Your Pick-Me-Up
I currently work as a barista at Starbucks, and overall it’s a solid job, but the pay is just okay. One thing I really don’t like, though, is when a big group of junior high kids comes in and orders what feels like a million Frappuccinos. A friend of mine who’s always on Reddit sent me a post about a guy who puts the name sticker over the Starbucks logo to mess up their Snapchat and Instagram pictures.
On my last shift, I tried it myself, and it was immediately satisfying. The look on this one kid’s face when they saw their drink, realized they couldn’t get a good photo of it, but also knew the only issue was where the sticker was placed? Totally priceless.
84. Fighting A Good Fight
This is going to sound wild, but in college I got a parking ticket every day of the week for parking in my own driveway. Same cop every day. My girlfriend’s car too. We lived in a small apartment building with a blacktop parking lot along the side. The officers ticketed every vehicle in our assigned spots for “blocking the sidewalk.”
There was no sidewalk. It was just a blacktop lot. I was studying law and knew I could argue it. Plus, I didn’t have the money to pay all those tickets. I pleaded not guilty, got a court date, and kept collecting tickets in the meantime. I got the cop on the stand, showed him a bunch of pictures, and asked questions about this “invisible sidewalk.”
He contradicted himself a few times and then admitted he basically ticketed every car he saw parked there, whether it was blocking the imaginary sidewalk or not. I was up there for about half an hour. Over parking tickets. The judge was chuckling a little and finally asked me to come up. He said if he dismissed all the tickets and told the cop to stop, would I stop asking questions and leave the courtroom. I said yes.
The next week my girlfriend went in with her stack of tickets and I came along. Same judge, same cop. They both looked right at me. As we walked in, I told her, “Watch this. I’m going to get the judge to dismiss these.” When it was her turn, I walked up with her. She started, “Your Honor, I...” and before she could finish, the judge said, “Tickets are void. Next case.”
I was pretty proud. She was totally confused about what kind of courtroom magic I’d just pulled off.
Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back (2001), Miramax
85. Can’t Say I Didn’t Try
I work in loan collections, and a lot of my customers are incredibly rude. Sometimes, during a really bad phone call, a customer will yell at me with a nonstop stream of nasty comments and then hang up before I get the chance to explain that I’m trying to help them avoid having their car repossessed. When that happens, I usually call it a day and go ahead and start the repo process anyway.
86. Fly By Night
My wife stayed up late binge-watching *Narcos* the other night, and she woke me up by being really loud when she came to bed. I couldn’t fall back asleep, and I was pretty irritated. I mean, just be quiet when you come in. You don’t need to “THIS IS SPARTA!!” your way through the door, flip on both lamps and the overhead light, and then climb into bed.
Anyway, I’m a commercial helicopter pilot, and I had a 6 a.m. flight that morning. So I took a quick detour and flew a few laps right over our bedroom to wake her up. When I landed, I had a text from her calling me a huge jerk. I’ll admit, it felt a little satisfying. Also—sorry, neighbors.
87. Back Of The Bus, Bud
I was a school bus driver in the 1970s. I drove kids from the poorer side of town to the richer side, then took the rich kids back the other way. There were plenty of entitled kids, but one in particular stands out. He acted like the rules didn’t apply to him and was always pushing limits. Eventually, I caught him trying to set a bus seat on fire with a lighter. I called the school officials right away. There was a hearing with administrators and his well-off dad, and in the end the kid was banned from riding any buses for the rest of the semester.
His dad offered to pay for the damage and accepted the punishment without making a scene. Then came the surprise. The next morning, when I showed up at 6:00 a.m. to clean the bus, the kid and his even wealthier dad were standing there. The dad introduced me to my “new personal bus cleaner” for the rest of the year. Every morning he brought his son in and made him wash the seats and mop the floors before I drove him to school.
By the end of the year, that entitled kid was actually working hard and acting friendly. We got along pretty well, and I even helped him out sometimes so he could make it to school on time. He turned out alright when it was all said and done. His dad handled it the right way.
88. One For The Books
When I worked at a public library, we’d get a few local celebrities stopping by now and then. Most of them were pleasant, but one guy was really difficult. He’d complain about having to wait in line, about late fees, and just about everything else. We’d smile and say things like, “Sorry, those are the rules,” or “Thanks for your patience,” even when he clearly wasn’t being patient.
One day, it seemed like we were both having a rough day. When I told him there was a limit on how many DVDs or video games he could check out at once, he slammed his hands on the desk and snapped, “Do you know who I am?!” Keep in mind, he was a grown man, and I was a college student who barely looked old enough to drive.
By that point, I’d had enough. I looked right at him and said, “Yes, Mr. X, I know who you are—and the rules still apply. Which of these would you like me to put back?” He just froze. I don’t think anyone had ever told him that the same rules applied to him, too. After that, he was a little nicer. Not much, but a little.
89. Peaceful Protest
When my brother was in school, he was teased relentlessly for being autistic. What made it worse was that the main kid picking on him was the most entitled little troublemaker I’ve ever had the misfortune of meeting. His dad paid for boxing practice, karate lessons, and other martial arts, and it went straight to his head. He started thinking he was the best at anything physical, and he used that confidence to intimidate other kids.
My brother has never been big on sports and would rather read in the library. Like a typical bookish kid, that made him an easy target. One day, when this bully had my brother cornered against a wall, my brother finally decided he wasn’t going to just stand there and take it anymore. But he also hates aggression, so he wasn’t going to fight back.
So when the bully tried to punch him… my brother simply ducked. After three broken fingers and a trip to the hospital, the bully’s father found out what had been going on. All the extra classes and training were canceled, and his electronics and games were sold. And if he wanted a car someday, he’d have to earn every penny himself.
90. Café Society Girl
There was only one coffee shop on my campus, and it was inside the library. It was always packed. You learned pretty fast that if you wanted coffee before class, you showed up 20 minutes early, grabbed a newspaper, and settled in. It was always kind of funny watching brand-new freshmen jump into the line five minutes before their 8 a.m. class and then slowly drift away in defeat.
Then this tiny freshman girl walks up, sizes up the line snaking out the door, and confidently decides to just…skip it. Now, the baristas were usually fine with people stepping up for quick stuff—tossing a dollar down for a cookie, anything that didn’t really interrupt the flow. Not this time. She got the barista’s attention while the person in front of her was still paying and said, “Hi, yeah, can I get a latte, like, really quickly?”
“Um, the line starts back there,” the barista said, looking a little confused.
“But I have claaass,” the freshman whined.
There was this awkward pause, and then the barista fired back, “You’re on a college campus. Are you serious? Why do you think all these people are here? Back of the line.”
“Oh,” was all the freshman managed.
She turned and looked at the line of people staring holes through her, and she didn’t look mad or embarrassed—she looked almost fascinated, like something had just clicked. Like, maybe for the first time, she realized other people weren’t just in her way for no reason.
Honestly, it was kind of beautiful to watch, like a baby deer figuring out how legs work. Better late than never.
91. All’s Fair In Love And Ball Pits
When I was 22, I went to this arcade-type place with my younger sister and her friend. It had this amazing two-storey ball pit with tunnels, slides, ropes, trampolines—everything. Best of all, there were these American Gladiator-style air cannons that fired the balls.
To load them, you had to drop the balls into a vacuum tube on the bottom floor, then climb up to the second floor to shoot. So it took a little effort to get off three or four rounds. While I’m checking out this cannon, some 12-year-old kid lobs a ball at me. It missed by a good six feet because, honestly, kids can’t aim. But the message was clear: game on.
I immediately recruit my sister and her friend. They excitedly start feeding balls into the vacuum tube while I swing the barrel around. I nail the kid right in the forehead with the first shot and follow up with three or four more before he can dive behind a foam triangle cushion. That gets the attention of the other 20 kids in the room.
Next thing I know, the little troublemakers form an actual army, with rows and everything. A volley of balls comes at me. Then another. I couldn’t even pop my head up long enough to aim properly. The tide started to turn. My sister and her friend found these big popcorn buckets and started scooping balls and dumping them into the vacuum tube. I couldn’t fire fast enough.
It was total chaos. Kids were running everywhere, some were crying, bodies were flying into foam obstacles. I pushed their whole formation back to the far side of the room. Then I spotted their supply line. With my ammo stocked, my sister acted like a scout—she excitedly pointed to my left. They’d recruited this really chubby little kid, couldn’t have been older than eight, to collect the loose ammo.
He was slow, but he could carry a ton. He came close to us to scoop up balls. His arms were packed, his chin pressed down onto the pile—he had to have at least 30. He tried to waddle back to safety, away from the cannon. Our eyes locked: his wide with panic, mine narrowed with focus.
I pulled the trigger. Time practically slowed down. The shot was perfect. The balls he was carrying burst everywhere. I fired again. And again. The kid dropped to the floor as I rained shots into the pile around him. The rest of the kid army started retreating fast. A few tried to rush forward to protect him and launched a couple desperate salvos, but it was too late.
They were stuck out in the open, and their supply was cut off. My sister and her friend were even throwing balls by hand between reloads. I turned back to the supply kid—he was sitting up and crying. Still, I kept firing. Balls everywhere. And then things got truly wild: a grown woman came charging in, arms waving, yelling for everyone to stop.
The supply kid’s mom—the final boss. She stepped in front of her son and pointed a finger at me, face bright red. “HOW DARE YOU SHOOT MY LITTLE JEFFREY! I’M GONNA—” *fwump* The first shot hit her right in the mouth. She looked furious. “WHAT THE—” Whatever she shouted next got drowned out by the loud thump and hiss of the cannon.
I kept pelting her and little Jeffrey for about a minute. Then, satisfied, I climbed down and walked out with my sister and her friend. I stepped past her and held the door open for them. I pointed at the warning sign on the wall about the air cannon and said, “That sign says this thing is dangerous—so don’t stand in front of it.”
We left and grabbed some Coke and chicken fingers. All that running and reloading had made us hungry.
92. Keep Your Friends Close…
I suspected my wife was having an affair with a co-worker. I confronted them both, and they brushed it off by calling me a jealous husband. They said they were “just best friends” and that I needed to accept it. So I decided to get close to him. I befriended him, became his workout partner, and learned everything I could about him. I even invited him to dinner at my house.
I won’t pretend I didn’t think about getting even in a physical way, but neither of them was worth throwing my life away or ending up in prison. Instead, I acted clueless. He was a bodybuilder who used steroids. He wasn’t especially bright, had barely made it through college, and was working low-paying jobs while he chased what he really wanted.
His big goal was getting into the firefighter academy in our major metro area. If he got in, it would be a career for life—and something he’d dreamed about since he was a kid. During our workouts, he talked nonstop about how much it meant to him. Through my healthcare career, I’ve built a lot of contacts in EMS and fire departments.
He also knew I understood medicine. When he started asking me about steroids, I gave him just enough information to keep him coming back with more questions. Then I made sure he began emailing me his steroid questions. The funny part was, he used an email address with his full name in it.
After a private investigator confirmed the affair, I put my plan into motion. When I was ready to leave my wife, I reached out to several fire department officers who sat on the review board. I handed over the emails from one of their candidates openly admitting he was using substances—and that he’d lied about it during the interview process. He’d been doing well and was expected to be in the next class. Instead, he was rejected.
Then I used my connections in the EMS community to make sure he wouldn’t get hired by any major fire department within 200 miles. He and my wife took what I thought was my dream marriage, so I took the one thing that would hit him just as hard.
93. Back Off My Buns
There was an elementary school next to my high school, and some of the kids there were pretty out of control. They were like eight or ten, standing outside and being rude little punks to anyone who walked by. We were honestly shocked by the kind of language they used. Anyway, one day I was walking past by myself, eating some buns.
This one kid comes up to me with a smug look and yells, “GIVE ME A BUN, YOU IDIOT!” I must’ve looked shocked or confused, because I shot back, “No! Get lost!” Then I turned my back on him and started walking to my next class so I wouldn’t be late. Big mistake.
All of a sudden, I feel a little shove and a weight on my back. The kid had jumped on me, grabbing my hair and screaming, “GIVE ME A BUN!” It felt like I was being attacked by some furious little goblin. I panicked, and the only thing in my head was, “OH MY GOD! GET THIS OFF ME!” In a weird move that felt straight out of wrestling, I spun around fast, straightened up, and shrugged my backpack loose—sending the kid flying off.
He twisted in the air and landed face-first on the concrete. He immediately started crying like the kid he was. I walked over, and his teary, wide-eyed stare met mine while I picked up my backpack. Then I turned away again, grabbed another bun, and walked off—listening to his crying fade while I ate my bun.
94. Hotel Havoc
I used to work as a front desk agent at a boutique hotel. One day, a guy who was clearly very full of himself came in with an online reservation he’d booked at a surprisingly cheap nightly rate. From the start, he gave me a hard time about everything—saying he shouldn’t have to give his credit card info because he’d prepaid, and snapping, “Um yeah, I’m pretty sure I can find the elevators. I’m not stupid.”
He was just an all-around rude guest. About 10 minutes after I checked him in, he came back down and demanded a bigger room with a king bed and a view, even though he’d booked a standard queen online. Since we had king rooms available, I switched him. Ten minutes later, he came down again to complain about the room size.
Then he told me, “I’m only going to give you one more chance to make me happy,” and asked for the general manager. After a lot of arguing between him and my manager, we ended up giving him our nicest suite and free parking because we’d “caused him trouble.” He got all of that for an insanely low rate—like $40 a night. But it somehow got worse.
Here’s the best part: not long after all of this, while heading out to dinner, he casually told us he wasn’t even going to be in the room for most of his stay because he was visiting friends and planned to stay at their house. Seriously? At that point, I made it my personal mission to make things as inconvenient as possible for him.
Every time I saw him leave the hotel—which was a lot, like 3–4 times a day—I reset his room keys. It was especially satisfying when he came back late and tired and had to trek down to the front desk to get them fixed. By the end of his stay, he was completely fed up. I’m pretty sure he won’t be staying with us again.
95. The Customer Is Always Right, Especially This Lady
I was out to eat, and this younger woman was being really rude to the restaurant staff. Everyone was clearly getting pretty uncomfortable and embarrassed by her behavior…until this middle-aged woman spoke up from her table and said, “Oh honey, you’re not pretty enough to act like that.” I honestly could’ve burst into applause.
96. If The Shoe Fits
I worked at the shoe store Fayva, and we accepted returns on everything—no matter what. Not the best policy, and honestly, Fayva isn’t even in business anymore. One day during Communion season, a woman comes in trying to return a pair of boys’ dress shoes she’d bought three days earlier. The kid must’ve played football in them after the ceremony, because they were covered in mud, grease, and scuff marks.
She was the one and only customer I ever refused to fully refund the entire time I worked there. She completely lost it—yelling, screaming, demanding a manager. Then my manager comes up behind me, and I just know he’s going to hand her the refund, and I know she’s going to smirk at me on her way out. I actually braced for it. But something even better happened.
Instead, my manager Mike walks up, takes one look at the shoes, and tells the woman, “Nope.” Now she’s furious at him, saying, “My son wore these shoes ONCE, to his communion, and they fell apart like this?” And Mike, totally calm, says, “Ma’am, it looks like your son wore these shoes to the Norman invasion.”
97. Room Service
For an entire year, my college roommate secretly slept with my boyfriend while I was in class. I usually took more than a full course load, and most mornings I was in math and science lectures or study groups. Then one day I came back early because a class was canceled, walked in, and saw something I’ll never forget—they were right in the middle of it.
I moved out. I was honestly more furious with her than heartbroken. After the breakup, I also lost most of my friends, and they all stuck together for quite a while. Fast forward five years: the two of them threw an insanely expensive engagement party at his parents’ beach house. Some friends we still had in common went and later told me all the details.
During the party, she caught him cheating with one of the caterers in a bathroom. They still went through with the wedding. I feel a little bad for her, even with the whole karma thing—she seems like she believes she can’t do better than staying with someone who cheats.
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98. Worth It
My boss cheated on his wife with a 22-year-old customer and got her pregnant. Later, he called me into his office. I was completely done with him by then, so I looked him in the eye and said, “The last girl who got involved with you ended up pregnant.” I got fired on the spot, but honestly, it felt worth it. He was a total creep, and walking out of there was one of the best moments of my life.
99. Ain’t Gonna Happen, Bud
I’m an ICU nurse, and for the last two nights I’ve been caring for a large, strong man who’s going through withdrawal. It’s required four-point restraints. This morning, I was trying to put elbow pads on him, and he tried to swing at me, but the restraints stopped him. He was furious, and I just stood there and slowly blinked at him.
100. Money Can’t Buy You Class
I’ve been a TA for a couple of courses at my university, which is pretty competitive, and most of the students are genuinely excellent. Every now and then, though, someone slips through the cracks. My worst experience was TA’ing a lower-division math class. She was a freshman, and “spoiled” doesn’t even feel like a strong enough word.
Her family clearly had a lot of money, and I got the impression she’d come from a very expensive private school that basically set her up to get in. She’d show up in designer clothes and spend the entire lecture on her phone or laptop. Sure, plenty of people get distracted sometimes, but she was obviously just chatting with friends and shopping online the whole time.
When she didn’t turn in the first four problem sets, I sent a quick email reminding her that homework was a big part of the grade, and that I’d still accept the assignments if she submitted them. I never heard back. Then she earned a very clear F on the first midterm—nothing close to borderline or fixable with a small bump.
At that point, she really should’ve dropped the course and tried again next semester. I emailed her again to say that. This time she responded and insisted she could bring her grade back up on the next midterm. Fine, I thought—your choice. The semester kept moving, and she kept failing…until something completely unbelievable happened.
At the last meeting of my discussion section, she actually showed up. Not only that, she came with her parents. And it gets even worse. She stayed after to introduce me to them, then handed me a thick stack of papers and said it was all her homework for the entire semester. Her parents sat there looking so proud of her.
I took the stack politely and, as professionally as I could, told her I was willing to look it over, but I couldn’t give any credit for it. Her parents’ faces immediately dropped. Her father started criticizing me. So I pulled up everything: her terrible attendance, the 0% homework record, and the very low midterm scores.
She started tearing up, and her parents were furious. Not wanting to be stuck in the middle of all that, I said I had to get to class and left as quickly as I could—but not before I heard her parents scolding her so loudly that people actually peeked out of nearby classrooms. She never showed up for the final.
101. Hate To Say I Told You So
My friend wanted to date my ex. Yeah, it was a pretty lousy move, and I wasn’t happy about it, but I also knew my ex. I told him not to—he had no idea what she was capable of. He didn’t listen, and he ended up paying for it. Naturally, once he started dating her anyway, we slowly drifted apart. A few years later, I ran into him again: he was looking for a lawyer. He said she wrecked his business, pushed his family away, harassed him, and even got the FBI to look into him. His life was a mess. All I could think was, I warned you.
102. Fences Don’t Always Make Good Neighbors
While getting my mail soon after moving into my new home, I noticed a flyer attached to the mailbox post. I read it with interest and learned it was from the neighbor who had bought the model home at the entrance to our subdivision. The flyer was addressed to everyone in the Homeowners Association.
It explained that the HOA was using our dues to sue him because he hadn’t removed a fence in his front yard. The builder had put up a chestnut rail fence around the model home’s front yard when it was built, and the new owner never thought twice about it. Then a group of HOA officers told him he had 24 hours to take it down or they would sue him.
Since I’d already had my own run-ins with the HOA, I stopped by to talk with him. After I confirmed what had happened, I told him that anything already in place on the closing date was grandfathered in—so the fence should be allowed. I then showed him the section in the covenants that backed that up.
At the time, I was an editor at the local newspaper, and I asked if he would mind if I wrote an article about what was going on. He agreed right away, so I took the idea to the managing editor. We decided to run a series about HOAs and the small-time “tyrants” who run them, using this situation as one of the examples.
The series ran for seven weeks on the editorial page. During that time, the court heard the case, and the homeowner won. The HOA also had to pay his attorney’s fees. He told me that if they had simply asked, he would have removed the fence without any trouble—but he was a retired U.S. Army colonel and wasn’t used to being ordered around. Thirty-six years later, the fence is still there.
103. Rinse And Repeat
My stepmom was really mean. She put my sister and me—two little girls—on diets because she said we were “fat.” I put up with her because my mom was away a lot for work and needed a place for us to stay, so we were left with my sister’s dad. But one day, I finally snapped. When I was 12, I came up with a plan to get back at my stepmom. Once a week, she used an expensive conditioning treatment on her hair.
She was 56 and did whatever she could to hold on to looking young. One weekend at my mom’s place, I grabbed a bottle of liquid hair remover. When I got back, I poured out half of my stepmom’s fancy conditioner and filled the bottle with the remover instead. I shook it up and put it right back where it belonged. Then I waited. She always used the treatment at the same time every week and would soak in the bath for about 30 minutes.
The directions on the remover said 15 minutes. She got out of the tub and went to take a shower. When she stepped out, almost all of her permed hair was coming off her head.
Sources: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12
