Some heartbreaks take an outsider’s perspective to see coming. These Redditors attended weddings where “’til death do us part” seemed highly unlikely. From leftover lovers to downright bloody receptions, there are many ways to tell that an eternal union isn’t going to last long. Get a prenup for these wacky stories of weddings we all knew were doomed.
1. In-Law for Now
The groom looked drunk and the bride seemed incredibly angry. Then there was this woman walking around during the reception placing bets on when they would divorce. I later found out she was the mother of the groom.
2. Clean-Up on Aisle One
The groom said in his speech, “When I joined a dating agency, I never thought I’d be so lucky as to find my own personal cook, dishwasher, and washing machine.” Not only is that a terrible way to describe ANYONE, he’s in for a nasty surprise when he realizes his wife is actually a complete diva and will expect him to do all those things for her! Bad relationship all round.
3. The Future Is Not Set in Stone, But Smoke
Well, it wasn’t so much only the wedding, even though I was best man at it; it was obvious the whole relationship was doomed when I learned that the bride demanded before they got married that the groom quit smoking weed. He was a stoner, she was strenuously anti-drug. He had no intention of doing so, but was convinced he could hide it from her.
So, starting out with a lie, and one that was bound to be found out. Also, he was horrible at hiding it when he was stoned. They were divorced nine months later, after she caught him smoking in his car in the driveway. So stupid, the whole thing. Why people get into these relationships, I have no idea.
4. Keep Your Enemies Close, I Guess
They stayed together, but they HATE each other. A friend from long ago called me up to be a groomsman. I was his friend back when we were in elementary school and hadn’t thought about him in years, but okay. I get there and my friend has changed dramatically and for the worse. Or maybe it was that he hadn’t changed.
He was still that elementary school kid, only bitter. I figure I’ll enjoy the party, see some old pals, and get through it. This isn’t my train wreck to stop. The first time I saw my pal interact with his soon-to-be wife, I knew there was gonna be problems. They swore at each other, in front of everyone, at their arranged parties.
Not like “you’re so freaking hot” and stuff, but “you’re a freaking dumb witch” kind of stuff. I admit, I went to the wedding just to see what would happen. They have two kids, they hate each other, and I have no idea why they stay with each other. Maybe they just both like being angry all the time?
5. Born into Disharmony
The couple came to see me by appointment to choose wedding music for their ceremony. There, in the church choir loft, they got into a heated argument over each piece of music under consideration. From the wedding processional to the recessional, there was absolutely zero agreement or willingness to compromise with each other.
To try to bring some harmony, I suggested that the bride choose the organ processional and the groom select the recessional, even though they strongly disagreed with each other—same with other music for the occasion. That worked for the moment. In less than six months, the pastor informed me that the couple was back to see him for counseling, with divorce under consideration.
6. On the Fast Track from Love
I was working at a “wedding factory.” On Monday, we got a call the Saturday wedding was canceled. They were told that they would lose the deposit (around $7,000). Then on Thursday, they said it was back on. When the guests arrived, everyone was cheesed off. It seems they told everyone was it was off, then two days later that it was on.
The ceremony was about 3 minutes long. The bride then changed into sweatpants and then everyone got angry drunk. “Well this won’t last long,” I thought. Then on the following Monday, the bride walked into my then-wife’s divorce attorney’s office.
7. Back in the Black (Out)
Our friend was the girl who had spent a whole year setting up for the one day. They had taken six months of dancing lessons and she has spent a ridiculous amount of time looking good and dressing up her bridesmaids for the wedding, of which my wife was one. So, come the night of the wedding, the groom meets up with his old friends and starts to get blackout drunk.
He got so drunk he didn’t even recognize us, rather just pushing us aside to get to the bathroom. The worst part was the dance itself. It was really heartbreaking to see them stumble around and watch the panic on her face as he realized he had no idea what was going on. I gave it six months at the time, but they ended up together for three years.
She later ended up marrying another woman.
8. Ready, Aim, Fire
It was a shotgun wedding-they proudly proclaimed it as such. Overheard the bride’s mother saying that the bride was such a later bloomer for waiting until 19 to “trap herself a man.” The child is three years old and they have been separated (don’t know if divorced) since she was one.
9. Battle of the Mothers
My cousin’s wedding. The groom invited his ex, who was also the mother of his one-year-old son—he and my cousin had been dating for longer than two years—and my cousin, who was then very pregnant herself, got into a loud screaming match with him over it in a bathroom. They eventually came out and got married, my cousin with puffy red eyes from crying that you can see in every wedding photo that was taken.
10. Dance Til You Drop
I do Audio/Visual for social events, a lot of weddings. At one engagement party, my co-worker tells the story of the soon to be groom trying to carry off his soon to be bride, you know because he’s manly and will have his way with her. Anyways, she is SCREAMING at him to put her down and when he finally complies, she slaps him right across the face and yells “I’M NOT DONE DANCING.”
11. Why Not Keep What You’re Missing?
I was reunited with a family member just before her wedding. We went out drinking, and she proudly pointed out a guy at the bar that she’d just gone on a trip with and had a weeklong prenup romp. She seemed to think I’d think that was naughty and funny. I just felt bad for her future husband, but figured it was just a bad choice.
The day of the wedding, I went to see her in the bridal suite. She had the guy there with her. She’d screwed him the night before the wedding. They lasted a few years, but it was a miserable few.
12. Love Didn’t Ask for a Resumé
My wife and I had thought this one couple wouldn’t last. The groom gave off a creepy vibe. We gave them two years max. Two years came and they were expecting a baby, so we gave them another few years. Few more years came, and another child was on the way. Then about a year later the poop hit the fan. Our initial thoughts were correct: dude was creepy and hiding some sketchy stuff from his past.
Lied about a lot of things, like his education. This explains why he always worked the lowest position in their line of work (they both work in the medical field). He claimed he had a degree, which would put him at a much better paying position, but he kept working the bottom tier job. Money was a huge issue for them, and she made the bulk of their combined income.
13. Raise the Roof on a House Divided
My father-in-law was getting remarried in his late 60s. His wife died 20 years earlier because of cancer. His new girl had been married three times prior, twice divorced, one lost to death. When we met the new girlfriend at the time, two out of three of the children told him point blank that she wasn’t a good match for him.
Of course, he couldn’t (didn’t want to) see it—and took out a loan of $20,000 to repair her house. The thing is, he’s super stubborn, as in he is clearly in the wrong with evidence supported, and he will still argue it 20 minutes. And he’s a yeller. If I raise my voice, then I’m more right! She is also stubborn and extremely religious.
He is also religious, but she took it to an 11. Any time they would get together while my wife and I were there, there was always a screaming match going on. They would find the littlest thing and start going off at each other. Well, it never did get better. Weeks leading up to the wedding just added more fuel as they had more things to shout about.
The day of the wedding it felt really tense. Very smiling through their teeth. They hardly came back from their honeymoon when he approached my wife and I, asking for advice. She served the divorce papers two months later, and he’s still doing payments on her roof!
14. Maid of Dishonor
All of my interesting stories came from my time as an event server. Honestly, I felt like a lot of the weddings I saw at that event hall represented the culmination of two people’s most expensive mistake of their lives. Coworkers and I routinely placed bets on which ones would last the year. Our manager even told us about one time when they called a couple to clear up some minor details regarding the wedding a few months prior, only to find that couple was no longer married.
I have to say, though, that the best/worst maid-of-honor speech I have ever heard was the one where the maid-of-honor had formerly dated the groom. And she said this. In the speech. And she also mentioned that it hadn’t worked out between them for a laundry list of reasons, which unfortunately for my nightly entertainment, she did not delve into.
AND then she threw in a few wink-wink nudge-nudge comments about the groom’s sexual performance. The bride looked furious the whole time this speech was happening, and made a beeline for the bar as soon as it was socially acceptable. Can you blame her? The groom, meanwhile, is super awkwardly avoiding eye contact with the maid/his former lover, and the last thing I witnessed between the happy couple was a tense exchange interspersed with both of them chugging their drinks.
Yeah, I wouldn’t place any bets on that one.
15. Here Comes the Party Pooper
I was a bridesmaid in my brother’s wedding a few years back. The bride was okay throughout their relationship, but it felt very superficial, and she had done small things that signaled that she wasn’t a very kind person. Leading up to the wedding, she got snippier, which we all brushed off as nerves, but she was being straight mean to her other sister-in-law (SIL), who was literally doing everything.
SIL planned the bachelorette party exactly as my bro’s wife wanted—bro’s wife pouts because we were talking to each other as well as her and just stands up and leaves. Just leaves. Other SIL is clearly very hurt, and we did our best to cheer her up, but she had to share an awkward hotel room with bro’s wife, so yay. The rehearsal comes, and bro’s wife sends SIL out to do all the last-minute errands that bro’s wife was supposed to do but didn’t because she’s decided it wasn’t her job but didn’t tell anyone.
So, flowers, decorations, and tons of other stuff was missing, and SIL was blitzing to retrieve it. We didn’t know until bro’s wife both bragged about what she did, and whined about how SIL was late, useless, etc. I told her SIL was doing everything for her, she should be grateful, and then left while she was screeching. Day of the wedding, she’s miserable, barely smiles, whines to everyone for everything, refuses to dance at the reception beyond the first dance because she wanted to pout over unknown reasons, tears open the gifts to see who was cheap and who was worthy, and then flounced out while leaving trash everywhere.
I don’t know how, but she and my brother remained married for about five years. She was just nasty the whole time. My brother is also a turd, but damn, she really went all out to out-turd him. So she’s gone, and we’re all much happier without her. Still keep in touch with her brother and his wife (other SIL) though, because they’re great folks.
16. Sometimes A Bad Day is Just a Bad Day
My best mate and his girlfriend. They were from polar opposite sides of the world with the bride some 10,000 miles from home. They were both located in a country that was not where they were born, they did not speak the language and they both were under immense strain. The Bride had other issues too that I won’t share, but that exacerbated the situation
The wedding was a small and simple affair—a registry office and a pub lunch, followed by a few beers by just very close family and a couple of friends. I was taking photographs. The bride’s mood was annoyed at best. Her new husband would put his arm around her, and she would push him away. She stated to me she just did not want to be there.
More than once, she just stared at me in total despair. As a result, he looked despondent at times and almost heartbroken. I didn’t think they would see the year out. 15 years later they are still very much together, very much a team and happy. They worked it all out, they learned from each other and they stuck to it. And for me, I couldn’t be happier for them.
16. Some Mistakes Can Be Erased
At my cousin’s wedding, she came to hang out in my brother’s and my hotel room to hangout because apparently her new husband just sat down in the honeymoon suite, put his face in his hands and said something along the lines of, “I made a mistake.” They stayed together for five years, had two kids, and a very angry divorce.
17. Don’t Get Distracted by the Wedding Bells
Welp, this one’s depressing. They got married because she was pregnant, and they wanted to give the kid a good foundation, yadda yadda. However, before she was pregnant, she was a heavy drinker and a little too reckless with heavy drugs. There was a night they hung out with me before she got pregnant that made it clear that they had a lot to work on.
A few weeks later, she was pregnant. All the friends pretty unanimously thought it would end badly, but she sobered up while she was pregnant, and it really looked like things were looking up. The marriage was very sweet, everyone enjoyed themselves, and it felt like a wedding should. We were all remaining cautiously hopeful about them.
Sometimes having a kid really does bring out the good in a couple and gives them something greater than themselves to focus on, but this time it didn’t. After their son was born, she got right back into drinking and drugs, and soon, she wasn’t even staying at the house anymore. He tried to force it to work a few times, but it was over.
Before they had been married a year, she overdosed and died at some new guy’s house. She was only 21. It sucked because we did get to see a brief period of what they could have been while she was pregnant, but then it all went south. Also, I think we all still feel a little guilty that we assumed the relationship would fail in the beginning.
On a more positive note, the baby is awesome, he has a lot of people that will be there to support him in his life, and my friend is a good dad.
18. Take Two
Yes, he proposed drunk and she took it seriously. He clearly wished he could take it back. Big wedding; they couldn’t afford, he was nervous. Everyone there was dressed like it was a BBQ and were all there to get drunk. As soon as they were married, they both had a smoke and a VB in each hand. Classy. Gave it two years. Boom to the day they were divorced, and she found another dude, and wore the same dress to her next wedding.
19. Marry The Monster You Know
Yes. A coworker. She was constantly telling us stories that made it clear that the guy she was marrying was emotionally and verbally abusive. She would dread him coming to pick her up. I’m not the only one who told her not to go through with it. Sadly, it sounded like her father was also really emotionally abusive and critical, so she’d grown up with that kind of behavior being normalized. They are thankfully divorced now. It was pretty ugly, but she seems a lot happier.
20. A Trainwreck as Far as the Eye Can See
Yes. And unfortunately, she was my best friend from high school/college, and I was the maid of honor. Everybody in a 50-mile radius could see that, while they were both nice people, they weren’t right for each other. But he loved her, and I got the impression she just kinda wanted a wedding. She filed for divorce 10 months later. She and I eventually drifted apart when my husband and I moved out of state.
21. Better Stand-Up Than Stood-Up at the Altar, Am I Right?
They wrote their own vows. His were touching and endearing, about how his life was complete now that he was together with her. Hers were a bunch of passive-aggressive, sexist attempts at jokes. “I promise to never let you win an argument. I promise to never let you watch a football game in peace. I promise to leave the bathroom a mess and yell at you about the toilet seat.”
22. Just Playing Around
Was friends with a girl, she’s bit dramatic, emotional, and severe enough that I wouldn’t want to date her, but not that bad that I wouldn’t be friends with her. She introduces me to new boyfriend. Chill dude, into gaming like I am, becomes part of our group of gamers, and we have frequent LAN parties together. She’s always whining at him about everything, emotional manipulations, yelling at him in front of the group of friends, but he sticks around, I have no idea why.
He tells me in confidence the one day that he sees her as the “right now girl,” not the “right girl,” and will be moving along shortly. Then, out of the blue, they announce their engagement. They were married and divorced a year later. He’s now married to an awesome woman, have been together around 10 years now, and have one cute daughter. Their first date was my wedding.
23. A Sibling Knows
Brother’s wedding. I told him he could walk away; he didn’t. They weren’t married long. Best man at his next wedding he asked me if I were going to tell him he could walk away, I said no this is the one. Been together a long time and married quite a few years.
24. Partners in Crime But Not In Life
My cousin and her husband had a pretty lavish wedding, one that seems like it should have been out of their price range. Husbands grandparents are wealthy, so the assumption was that they had paid for it. Well couple months go by and on Facebook they are posting about their new Maserati they bought. My cousin is a college student, and her husband is in “sales.”
After that, they bought a brand-new Mercedes and a yacht. Well turns out they had been running a Ponzi scheme and had defrauded people out of more than a million dollars. After they got caught, they turned on each other. Husband got nine years in federal prison, and my cousin got two years. Oh, and she gave birth to their child in prison.
Both of them are disgusting human beings so I’d hoped for more time in jail.
25. The Party Never Stops
The bride got totally drunk. She sexily danced on the dance floor solo instead of her first dance, turned the wedding DJ into a Karaoke, and started a fight with the best man’s girlfriend. At the end of the night, she had to be carried to her room because she was that drunk. We’ve been happily married for 15 years now, so turns out I was wrong.
26. Didn’t Get the Memo
Groom’s mistress found out he was getting married and showed up at the wedding. In the middle of the “I do” part, she walked right up on stage and smacked him in the face.
27. One Wedding and One Funeral
The groom stabbed his new brother-in-law to death, with the knife used to cut the wedding cake no less. Well, technically, it happened at the reception, not the wedding. Backstory: About four years before the wedding, the wife’s brother had shot her in the leg during an argument. Yes, alcohol was involved. At the reception, he started loudly telling the guests that he wished he’d shot her in the head instead, at which point the groom got stabby. Alcohol was again involved.
28. At Least She Admits It
At the rehearsal dinner, the groom’s mom is in tears, because “he looks miserable” and he was, we all knew it. During the vows they had written for each other, the bride starts with “I know I can be a pretty terrible person, and I don’t know why you’ve stuck around, but that’s all going to change starting today!” They were divorced a year later.
29. Out-Law for an In-Law
I thought my sister’s wedding was. Her husband got blackout drunk and they got into an argument. He passed out and she ended up throwing a bucket of ice water in his face to snap him out of it. She was devastated about it. Happy ending: He made it up to her big time. Also, he felt very out of it, even the next day. Turns out he had traces of Rohypnol in his system.
His own brother roofied him in hopes he wouldn’t marry my sister because he wanted their own friendship to remain the same. My brother-in-law has disowned most of his family because of this, and his brother just got out of a four-year prison sentence.
30. Beware the Dragoness
The bride, whom I didn’t even know, apparently designated me to help decorate the reception hall prior to the wedding. I went to do so, and her mother was there, telling me in a hushed, scared whisper that I better not mess anything up because the bride would be FURIOUS. Everything was to be a certain way, and if it was wrong, there’d be hell to pay.
I gave her the benefit of the doubt (chalked it up to wedding anxiety), and during the reception, I tried to chat with her a bit, and she literally rolled her eyes at me. I also didn’t see her look at the groom once at the wedding or the reception. They were split less than a year later. Later, the groom confided to me and my husband that the morning of the wedding he’d been filled with an overwhelming feeling of dread and spent several hours just sitting on his lawn, thinking, “I shouldn’t do this.”
But it was already paid for, a huge crowd full of guests was waiting, a ton of family (including us) had come in from out of state, and he just felt he had to go through with it. Apparently, the bride had a long history of being awful and controlling. I have absolutely no clue what made him propose to her in the first place.
Just Facebook stalked the (ex) bride. Her latest status update is announcing her wedding date with a new guy. Someone “jokingly” asked in the comments if they’ve set a date for the divorce. Oh snap.
31. Anything Goes in the Mountains
Holy moly. My cousin “Jan’s” wedding was basically just a preamble to an elaborate Dance of Divorce that we all knew was coming from the moment the engagement began. For context, this took place 15 years ago in the backwoods of North Carolina. My family is just a generation or two removed from snake-handling in church, so some of the wackiness is the product of upwardly mobile inbreeding, and redneck gumption.
Just a few things that come to mind: Her fiancé proposed to her OVER THE CORPSE OF HER FATHER. He was over with the family watching TV when Jan’s dad collapsed on the floor. He died before emergency services arrived. Her boyfriend grabbed her hands as she was sitting next to her father’s body, pulled her up to her feet, and then asked her to marry him.
He later said that he “didn’t want her to get away.” The fiancé then disappeared for a month the week after the funeral. Nobody knew where to reach him. The bride’s white trash mother told Jan that she had to get married within four months because she (the mother, my aunt) planned to move to another state with her new boyfriend to avoid bill collectors.
When Jan’s fiancé showed back up, he was cagey and weird. Eventually, it came out that he’d been living with his ex-girlfriend because she insisted that he had to give her a month of his life, or she’d take him to court for child support that he was supposed to be paying on their infant son, but had never paid. Throughout all of this, Jan continued to insist that she wanted to marry him.
My mother and I did most of the wedding prep and arrangements. Jan’s mom, despite insisting on the 4-month timeline to help pay for the wedding before her move, never contributed a dime. We were both pretty convinced that the wedding was going to be canceled at any moment. But, the day arrived, and so did the principle players.
At the wedding itself: The groom walked around drinking PBR out of a massive travel thermos with a novelty straw and told everyone who would listen that Jan was a good “starter wife.” Jan threw several tantrums about stupid stuff, including one in which she accused the groom of stealing her drink. He told her she was a “dumb slag,” but it all worked out because then she found her drink.
The groom pulled the ring off of Jan’s finger during the reception and swallowed it “as a joke.” The groom picked a fight with his father because his dad had asked the ex-girlfriend to stay at home, and the groom had really wanted her to be there. Jan was in the dark about this invitation until the fight broke out. Shocking precisely nobody, except possibly Jan herself, they eventually did divorce.
Eating the ring caused the groom some discomfort, so they had to cancel their honeymoon to the mountains so that he could go to the ER and get hospital-grade laxatives. They lost money on the cancellation and the ER visit, which they really didn’t have to lose. That resulted in some immediate debt problems, and they lost the trailer they’d planned to rent when they couldn’t come up with the deposit.
That resulted in both of them moving into the groom’s parents’ home, into his old bedroom. Things went downhill from there. The groom’s ex-girlfriend popped back up less than three months after the wedding, heavily pregnant with his second child. She went after him for another “shared month,” but Jan wasn’t cool with it. The ex ended up taking him to court for child support.
Jan got a second job to make ends meet while resigning herself to living with her in laws for a while longer. One day, after he’d dropped her off at work, the groom sold Jan’s car. He then disappeared for several more weeks. She lost both jobs, and shortly thereafter realized she was pregnant. The groom accused her of cheating because he thought he couldn’t have more than two children in a lifetime, and his ex-girlfriend had already filled the quota.
As I understand it, this is what ultimately caused the rift in their relationship.
32. No Praise for His Own Creation
When the father of the bride (!!) tells the groom, “How can you marry somebody like her? You are too nice, you deserve better.” Surely enough, the marriage lasted less than three years.
33. Destination: Nowhere
We knew the couple was in trouble when they frowned during most of the ceremony and later didn’t go on a honeymoon because they couldn’t agree on a destination. They had plenty of money–just no desire to compromise.
34. Nothing Between Us
At the end of the reception the guys are sitting at a table away from everyone else talking and we ask the groom why he proposed. His answer? “Because she was naked.” Marriage lasted about a year and a half.
35. Why So Serious?
During the ceremony, when the priest started asking the bride “Do you take this man to be your…”, she started laughing uncontrollably and couldn’t stop. It was cute for about 10 seconds and then things got real uncomfortable. They lasted a year and change. We all kinda knew the only reason they were getting married was that she got pregnant.
36. Love is an Open Door
Groom got so drunk at the reception he passed out in the honeymoon suite by himself, but not before he latched the door so it couldn’t be unlocked from the outside. Seeing the bride kicking the door and hollering at the top of her lungs to be let in at 3 am was not encouraging. They divorced like two years later.
37. Something Is Wrong With This Picture
I was at a wedding as a videographer. Bride was really happy and everything, but the groom seemed disinterested and bored. Film the ceremony and everything, and we need some shots of the guests mingling. My buddy says he hasn’t got any footage of the groom and asks if I’ve seen him. I say no but offer to walk around and look.
I eventually find the groom way down by the lake sitting on a bench and chatting with one of the bridesmaids. They don’t notice me, but I see them share a kiss. Mentioned it to my buddy, who just shrugged and said we were there to film the wedding, so it’s not our concern.
38. The Family That Lies Together Stays Together
My sister and her husband. They met each other our junior year of high school, and she moved in with him halfway through our senior year. I never liked him and did not hide that fact. I especially didn’t like him after he hit on me while they were dating. Didn’t hide that fact either, but my sister brushed me off. Before he popped the question, she found out he’d been texting other girls.
He promised he’d change. The wedding was a train wreck, honestly. It was a small affair in our family back yard, with our aunt officiating. That same aunt started crying midway through the ceremony. My stepmother read a poem about them she wrote halfway through the ceremony—she always wants to be the center of attention.
The groom’s drunken father, who had been barred from the wedding, came stumbling in at some point during the vows to search for alcohol, and I saw the groom grab one of the bridesmaids’ bottoms. I didn’t point that out to my deliriously happy stepsister. I should have. A year later it turned out the groom had been sexting my stepmom.
My sister somehow forgave both of them. She has low self-esteem. They got caught again a year after that. At that point, my dad had divorced my stepmother, so I have been distant from this whole shebang. But my sister—who I do still talk to—finally divorced that scumbag. Divorce for everyone! Let’s pull an Oprah.
39. Four Is a Crowd
The bride ugly-cried for the entire reception until herself, the groom, and her mom got into a yelling fight about it. They both made it clear the only reason they got married was that she was pregnant with their second child. The best man—of a different race, it’s relevant—seemed very jumpy the entire time. Fast forward to six months later, and the baby is clearly biracial.
Less than a year after the wedding, bride and groom are divorced and she’s with the best man. I feel like I should add that the groom was not unhappy to get a divorce. The general consensus was he was probably as guilty as she was, she just had the misfortune that her infidelity was a lot more obvious.
40. The Dress is the First Problem
Went to a wedding where the groom accidentally spilled champagne on the bride’s dress. Now, she’s probably not the only bridezilla out there who would go mad. But this turned nasty in a matter of seconds. It started with her being irate over the dress, to blaming him for everything wrong with the wedding (which no one noticed), issues with his family followed and to top it all off she questioned his mental health—he’d had problems in the past.
All this, while screaming at the top of her lungs in front of about 150 people. Poor guy never stood a chance.
41. I Now Pronounce You Co-Beneficiary and Wife
My sister-in-law’s first wedding. Never really liked the groom from the first time I met him. After a year or so, he proposed. They started planning their wedding that was to take place in a year. But then, on whim, they get married in a civil ceremony with plans to still have the big ceremony later in the year. A few months after the civil ceremony, the groom goes in for heart surgery, for a bad valve he’s had since he was born.
The big ceremony finally comes except every major aspect of it has been stripped away. Less than a year into the marriage, my sister-in-law brings me a credit card bill and asks me if she knows what this $600 charge her husband has on it. A little internet research and I find that he’s tipping cam girls. They’re officially divorced about a year after that.
In retrospect, it became obvious what had happened. My sister-in-law was grifted for a new heart valve. He didn’t have the insurance at his job to cover the surgery, so he convinced her to marry him—earlier than expected—to get on her insurance, get the heart surgery, and then split.
42. Blast from the Past
Got invited to a wedding of an ex-girlfriend. There was one of those cheesy dollar dance things where bride and groom shake down the crowd for more money. Fine, I suck it up and dance with the ex for a fiver. During the dance, she whispers, “This should have been you.” Freak-out time. I left very quickly after that. Needless to say, they didn’t last.