Nobody can know everything. But some things should be more obvious than others. These people share their most oblivious facepalm moments. Do you know why pancakes are called pancakes, or what the true purpose of a shower curtain is?
1. Rub-A-Dub
I recently realized that the bathroom I’ve been using for the past month has a bathtub. It’s not hidden or anything, and it takes up a big chunk of one side of the room. I was brushing my teeth, looked over at it, and thought, “Wait, there’s a bathtub in here?” I’m sure I’d seen it before, but I’d never really registered it or connected it with the word “bathtub.”
2. Super Soaker
When I moved into my apartment after college, I somehow forgot that shower curtains existed. That led to one of my most ridiculous moments ever. For about a month, I kept getting annoyed that the bathroom floor got soaked every time I showered, and then I’d carefully wipe it up with paper towels so it wouldn’t get moldy.
This happened every single morning. And it gets worse. I went to Bed Bath and Beyond and asked a cashier if they had anything that could keep shower water off the floor. She thought I meant bath mats and sent me to the bath section, where I rediscovered shower curtains.
3. Fancy Town
One time I got lost driving alone in upstate New York around 1:00 a.m. I took a wrong turn trying to find Route 17 and ended up in a small town that was clearly not where I meant to be. It was a little foggy, my phone kept rebooting, and I didn’t have GPS.
Nothing was open. The streets were totally empty. There wasn’t a sign of life anywhere. It was already a little unsettling. Then it got weirder. As I drove around trying to get back to the highway, I noticed tuxedo shops everywhere. It felt like every other storefront was a tuxedo shop.
Why would one town need that many tuxedo shops? I got so uneasy I was almost panicking. I started driving faster through town, counting them as I passed. I got to 15 before I gave up and decided I had somehow wandered into a Twilight Zone episode.
At that point I was fully panicked. I just drove. Anywhere. Anywhere that didn’t have another tuxedo shop. Turn around, keep moving, don’t stop. Finally I spotted the highway. I went the wrong way up the ramp, crossed the median, and got out of there.
Forget the traffic rules. I was convinced I was about to get stuck forever in some bizarre little town in the middle of nowhere made entirely of tuxedo shops. In my head, I pictured everyone stepping outside in tuxedos, trying to convince me to stay forever.
Eventually I made it to my destination. I didn’t tell anyone about it for nearly a year. Then I finally figured out what had happened. One day my wife and I were driving the same route, and I told her about the creepy little town where every store was a tuxedo shop... except they weren’t tuxedo shops at all. I had just been in Tuxedo, New York.
4. Numbers Game
This is one I’m especially embarrassed about. I had a Sudoku demo cartridge and played it all the time, usually finding each game pretty challenging. Sudoku is great, and I never felt the need to buy the full version because the demo alone gave me hundreds of hours of entertainment. But here’s the thing.
The demo was actually the exact same puzzle every time. For years, I kept playing it like it was a brand-new game. I honestly don’t know how I never noticed. I’d struggle through it every time as though I’d never seen it before. I probably should have brought that up with my doctor.
5. Pop It
Up until three weeks ago, at the grand old age of 28, I had no idea Pop-Tarts were meant to go in the toaster. I thought “Pop-Tarts” was just a catchy name. My parents never toasted them for us; we just brought them to school still in their shiny foil wrappers.
One day I was bored and reading the pantry labels when I noticed the toaster instructions. Big surprise. The worst part was telling my fiancée, whose reaction was basically, “What did you think the ‘pop’ was for?” Then I tried one toasted. It completely changed my opinion of them.
6. Language Barrier
When I studied in Mexico, my Spanish was pretty basic. In my first month there, I somehow mixed up “lo siento” with “yo serio,” and that turned into a real problem. So whenever I bumped into someone on the street, instead of saying “I’m sorry,” I’d look them right in the eye and say, “I’m serious.”
Once I finally realized the mistake, it explained a lot of confused and offended looks.
7. Good Night’s Sleep
For years, I completely missed the double meaning in the Sleepy’s mattress commercials: “Trust Sleepy’s...for the rest of your life!” Then one day I was driving with my wife when the commercial came on, and I said, “Why would I want a Sleepy’s mattress for the rest of my life? Aren’t you supposed to replace them every 10 years or so?”
She patiently explained the joke, and also pointed out that I’m an idiot. Based on the evidence, she may have a point.
8. How Many Is Too Many
For years, I thought the word “several” meant seven. For some reason, I had it in my head that it went couple = two, few = three, several = seven. I believed this until I was 15, when I was opening a microwave meal and asked, “Why do I have to pierce the film lid seven times? I’m pretty sure it would work just as well five, six, or eight times.”
Sometimes I honestly wonder how I manage to keep myself alive.
9. Check Your Surroundings
I used to work from 3:00 to 11:00. After work, I’d go to Denny’s for dinner because it was basically the only place open in Nashua, New Hampshire, where I lived at the time...though is there really any other reason to go to Denny’s?
Anyway, Nashua is a medium-sized city with more than 80,000 people right on the state border, so it’s not exactly rural New Hampshire. One night I got out of my car and started walking to the door when I noticed something odd. Everyone in the restaurant was staring DIRECTLY AT ME.
EVERYONE. Even the cooks. I checked my zipper. Not open. I looked around. Nothing. Weird. I kept walking toward the door. Then people started pointing frantically. I checked my zipper again, then looked around again...still NOTHING. Finally, someone cracked the door open, stuck their head out, and yelled, “For God’s sake, get IN HERE!”
I looked around and pointed at myself like, “Me?” Then I hurried to the door, and THAT’S when I saw it in the glass reflection: a HUGE bull moose about ten feet behind me. Once I was safely inside, I found out it had already damaged three cars and was foaming at the mouth. Later we learned it wasn’t rabies, just confusion and anger.
The good news is that out of the four other cars it damaged after I got there and before the police showed up and tranquilized it, none of them were mine.
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10. Ice Ice Baby
I had no idea how iced coffee worked. My wife got it all the time, but I’d never had one myself or picked one up for her. Then about a month ago, she asked me to get her one at a Turkey Hill gas station. That’s when I made my first mistake.
I walked in, put some ice cubes in the cup, and then filled the rest with hot coffee.
I stood there staring at it, totally confused. I knew I had to be doing something wrong, but I couldn’t figure out what. In the end, I went back out to the car and asked my wife for help. It was a humbling Saturday morning, and she still brings it up often.
11. Got Clocked
In one of my high school classes, I used to always ask the guy sitting next to me what time it was. Somehow, he always knew the exact time without checking a watch or phone, even though I couldn’t see a clock anywhere in the room.
I’d ask how he always knew, and he told me he could figure it out by looking at the shadows around the room. After believing that for a whole year, I finally noticed there was a clock hanging right on the wall in front of me.
12. Price Check
About once or twice a month, we order takeout from a burger place near our house. Every time I call and place an order, the person on the phone usually ends the conversation by saying something like, “Okay, that’ll be 15 minutes, and it’s 42.”
The number at the end was always different, and I assumed they were telling me the total. I’d try to add it up on the way there and get confused because it never matched. Then one day, after about six months of this and plenty of orders, the young guy on the phone said, “Okay, thanks, that’s 116.”
I remember thinking, there’s no way that’s right, we definitely didn’t order that much food. Not long after, I realized what they actually meant. I went to pick it up, and the bill was around 50 dollars. I asked why they always gave me the wrong price, and the lady said loudly, “Oh darling, that’s not the price, that’s your ticket number,” which made everyone in the store laugh. At that point, I kind of wished it really had been $116.
13. Unplugged
When I first got my PlayStation 3, I had no idea the controllers were wireless. I kept wondering why they made the cord so short. I was even bringing home USB extenders from work so I wouldn’t have to sit so close to the TV. Eventually, I did something that accidentally unplugged the controller, and to my surprise it kept working. I felt like a complete fool.
14. Staying Afloat
I’m 31 and I’ve never been a very strong swimmer. I can stay afloat, but actually getting from point A to point B has always been awkward. A few weeks ago, I was in the pool and realized that even though I usually keep my hands slightly cupped when I swim, flippers aren’t shaped like that at all—they’re flat.
So I straightened my hands, and suddenly they were much more effective. They moved through the water better and worked much more like I imagined they should if I wanted to swim properly.
15. Walking Into Spiderwebs
I’m 26, and about a year ago someone told me that cobwebs are made by spiders. I was stunned. I had absolutely no idea. I felt like the most clueless person ever. My original assumption was unbelievably off—I honestly thought cobwebs were just a certain kind of dust buildup. Looking back, it makes perfect sense.
Once you actually think about what you’re seeing, it’s obvious: they’re just spider webs covered in dust. I felt pretty silly.
16. Stick It Out
I’m a pianist, and I’ve been playing for 18 years. I also teach private lessons. A few weeks ago, I was teaching my eight-year-old student how to play “Chopsticks” just for fun, and she said, “Oh, it’s called ‘Chopsticks’ because you play it with two fingers like they’re chopsticks.” I was completely stunned. It absolutely blew my mind.
17. Senior Special
One day in high school, my friend and I were looking for somewhere to eat lunch. We didn’t want to go far from campus because we had class again soon. We walked past a restaurant we’d never tried, and my friend said, “Hey, let’s try this place! Plus, it’s 20% off for seniors!” I replied, “That discount is for people over 60.”
18. Time To Towel Off
Q: “What gets wetter the more it dries?”<br /> A: “A towel.”
I didn’t really understand this riddle for years. In my mind, you use a towel to dry yourself; the towel itself isn’t doing the drying. So for a long time, I thought the riddle meant that a towel left out to dry doesn’t actually dry.
You hang it up, but the humidity in the bathroom after a hot shower keeps it from drying properly, and it actually absorbs moisture from the air as it condenses.
I blame the confusing wording for throwing me off, but I guess it wouldn’t be much of a riddle if it were phrased as, “What gets wetter the more it’s used to dry something else?”
19. Hands On
I had a teacher in high school who only had two fingers and a thumb on one hand, and I didn’t notice until I overheard some other students talking about it about a month into the semester, even though he was always gesturing with that hand. But that’s only the beginning.
In college, I worked part-time at a coffee shop, and the same thing happened again. One of my co-workers also had three fingers and a thumb. I never noticed. About a year after I stopped working there, a friend of mine who had worked there too brought it up in conversation.
I thought he was joking, so I called two other former co-workers to confirm. Apparently I’m either oblivious, or I just never pay attention to people’s hands. Or both.
20. Pump The Brakes
A few months ago, I realized that when you squeeze the brakes on a bicycle, it just pulls the metal cable inside the wire tighter, and that makes the brakes clamp down and stop the wheels. I had never really noticed how they worked. I had always assumed they sent some kind of signal through the “wire” that activated the brakes. I’m 23.
21. Size Matters
My grandfather had a small right hand because of a birth defect—the umbilical cord had wrapped around it before he was born. He always used to joke, “I’ve got this hand” (his left hand) “for reaching into big jars, and this hand” (his right, smaller one) “for reaching into little jars.”
I was probably 18, and he’d already been gone for years, when it suddenly hit me that he could have used his smaller hand for big jars too.
22. I’m Blue
Our blood doesn’t actually turn blue. Textbooks and diagrams just use blue to show deoxygenated blood so it’s easier to tell apart. But the way I found that out was pretty embarrassing. Imagine being 33, trying to explain to your four-year-old why we have a heart, and then your wife interrupts and says, “Wait, stop. Did you just tell our kid that humans have blue blood? Have you ever seen blood before?”
23. Horsing Around
I only recently realized that the reason there’s always hay mixed into horse poop is because horses eat hay and don’t fully digest it—not because someone goes around covering it with hay. For the longest time, when I’d go walking on trails, I actually wondered whose job it was to toss hay onto horse poop. I can’t believe it took me that long to figure out.
24. I’m Lovin’ It
When I was about 15, my grandmother and I were driving down the road and passed a McDonald’s. Out of nowhere, she turned to me and said, “OH MY GOD, THE MCDONALD’S ARCHES ARE AN M! M FOR MCDONALD’S!” It completely blew her mind. She’d been seeing those arches since she was a kid and had never realized they were shaped like an M.
25. Weighty Subject
For months, I used one machine at Planet Fitness facing the wrong way every single time. It was the one where you put the pin in the weight stack and pull down the bar overhead—basically pull-ups made easier. Well, I finally had a big realization: I’d been using it backward the whole time.
I’d even thought before, “Why would they design it so you have to stare at the wall while using it?” Apparently, I’m not a very observant guy.
26. Not So Funny
I thought John Edwards was supposed to be a “psychic comedian.” I’d seen the show once or twice and kept thinking, “this guy isn’t funny at all.” And the worst part? I worked at a TV station that aired the show, so I had to run promos for it 10–20 times a day. After a full year of being completely confused, I mentioned it to someone and they finally explained it. Psychic MEDIUM makes way more sense.
27. Time Flies
About a week ago, I was texting my girlfriend about a concert we’re planning to go to. When I told her the date, she said she was pulling up the flyer. A little over an hour later, she texted, “Hey, is this a two-day event?”
I looked at it and said no. Then she replied, “Yes it is, it says October 24–25.” So I asked her to send me a picture of the flyer. It showed the event time as October 24 at 9:00 p.m. until October 25 at 3:00 a.m. Then I had to explain that once it hits midnight, the date changes.
28. Peace and Love
In school, they’d say that when you meant there was no conflict, you spelled it p-e-a-c-e. But then they’d say, “To spell piece, like in ‘piece of pie,’ you spell it p-i-e-c-e.” I only recently realized they use “piece of pie” as the example because the word “pie” is already inside the word “piece,” which helps you remember not to mix up the i and e. I figured this out at age 30.
29. Fueled Up
For years, whenever I had to fill up my car, I’d look in the mirrors and try to remember which side the gas tank was on depending on which car I was driving. Naturally, I got it wrong about 40% of the time. And I always thought, “why don’t they just mark it somewhere? Why make people guess?”
Then, after eight years of driving like this, someone told me they do. There’s a little arrow right by the fuel gauge that shows which side the gas door is on. In every car. I still can’t believe I missed that.
30. Summer Loving
For me, it was the movie 500 Days of Summer. I thought the title was supposed to have some deeper meaning, like he was stuck in a never-ending summer, or that summer represented the best time of year, or something like that. The real explanation is way simpler.
It wasn’t until the third time I watched it that I realized it was literally about Zooey Deschanel’s character, Summer, and the 500 days he spent hung up on her. I felt so ridiculous.
31. Got Wheels
When I was a kid, I had no idea the handicap symbol was supposed to be a person in a wheelchair. I honestly don’t know how I missed that. Years later, I looked at it and suddenly had one of those “NO WAY, IT’S A PERSON IN A WHEELCHAIR—NOW IT ALL MAKES SENSE” moments.
To be fair, you don’t actually have to use a wheelchair to have a disability. I always felt like the symbol was kind of a misleading generalization that can totally confuse kids.
32. Flapjack Phonics
One night around midnight, I was making breakfast food with my brother and our other roommate. My brother was working on eggs while our roommate was cooking pancakes on the stove.
At one point, my brother stopped, stared at the pancakes, and said, “Wait... pancakes. Pan... cakes!” He just stood there stunned for the next few minutes as it hit him that pancakes are called pancakes because they’re cakes cooked in a pan.
33. I Can’t See Clearly Now
Just yesterday morning, I went to put on my glasses and thought, “Wow, these feel really weird for some reason. Maybe I’m just not used to them because I’ve been wearing contacts so much lately.” I had no clue what was actually happening. It took me two hours to realize I was already wearing my contacts when I put on my glasses, because I’d forgotten to take them out before going to sleep.
34. Get Some Action
My husband’s favorite pizza place in his hometown is called Pizza The Action. One time I casually pointed out the wordplay, and he was completely shocked. He had always assumed it was just called “The Action,” with “Pizza” stuck in front for no particular reason.
It had never crossed his mind that it sounded like “Piece o’ the Action.” They still make the best donner meat and tandoori chicken pizza.
35. Potty Panic
I was at a cousin’s house somewhere on Long Island. In the bathroom, there was a small round switch above the light switch. I assumed it controlled the exhaust fan, but it definitely did not. It was much worse. It was actually a silent panic button meant for emergencies.
Five patrol cars showed up and surrounded the house. By the time I came out of the bathroom, everyone in the house was standing outside the door waiting for me. It was so embarrassing. The family I was staying with was upset that I pressed the button, but I was like, “Well, nobody told me what it was for.”
36. Rock-Em Sock-Em
When I was younger, I was putting on my socks. I got one on, then suddenly became completely confused about where the other sock had gone. I looked everywhere and still couldn’t find it.
Eventually I gave up and grabbed a different pair. As I started taking off the sock I was already wearing, I was shocked to find another sock underneath it. Somehow, without noticing, I had put two socks on the same foot.
37. Pain In The Foot
I started feeling a sharp pain in my right foot whenever I stepped too hard on my heel. It went on for days and seemed to get worse over time. I became convinced I had somehow broken my heel and that a piece of bone was stabbing me every time I walked.
At the time, I was doing survey work and had to spend long hours hiking during the day. Eventually the pain got so bad that I was limping just to keep weight off my right foot.
I was getting more and more frustrated that it wasn’t healing and the sharp pain wouldn’t stop. After about a week, I finally pulled a huge thorn out of the bottom of my shoe.
38. Swept Away
For about two months, I quietly wrestled with the idea that a broom might actually be called a “sweep,” because I couldn’t remember the word “broom.” Every few days I’d go back and forth in my head: “It’s called a sweep... right? Yeah, it must be a sweep.”
I never looked it up or asked anyone. I just kept second-guessing myself now and then. Then one day I came home and my friend asked me to pass the broom. I immediately realized how wrong I’d been and mentally cringed.
39. Sometimes Maybe
For the longest time, I wrote the word “mabye” in texts and emails, even though spell-check kept telling me it was wrong. I never clicked on it to see the correction because I was completely sure that “mabye” was the right spelling.
I felt pretty ridiculous when I finally realized it’s actually spelled “maybe.”
40. Dirty Laundry
This happened just today. Yesterday I was wearing trouser socks with my pants, and when I got home after being out all day, I was in a hurry to change into pajamas, so I pulled off my jeans, boots, and socks all at once.
I decided to wear the same jeans again today, but one of the socks must have gotten stuck in the pant leg without me noticing. So I ended up dragging a dirty sock around most of the day, until one of the guys at work pointed out that something was hanging out of my pant leg.
I quickly pulled it out, really hoping it wasn’t underwear or something equally embarrassing, because that would have been even worse.
41. Unscripted
In acting class, we got a monologue assignment. Two guys asked the instructor if they could do theirs together. He said, “No, it’s a monologue because only one person talks. More than that and it’s a dialogue.” I already knew the difference between a monologue and a dialogue, but I’d never really stopped to think about why they were called that.
42. Shoo Fly
Those huge fans just inside the front doors of big stores like Walmart aren’t there to keep people warm in the winter or cool in the summer. Their real purpose completely surprised me. They’re actually there to help keep insects from getting into the store.
My husband is studying culinary arts and recently took a sanitation class where he learned this. Now that I think about it, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a fly in Walmart…
43. In The Clouds
I never really thought about this until last week when I flew home to see my family for Christmas, but I always assumed some clouds were darker because they held more water, and in my head that somehow meant darker color.
It wasn’t until my plane flew above a bunch of dark clouds that I realized they’re really all the same color. The ones carrying more water just let less light pass through. It kind of blew my mind, in a slightly embarrassing way.
44. In The Dark
This one makes me feel really, really silly, but I used to think that since curtains are meant to block light from coming into your house, a shower curtain was meant to block light while you showered. I guess when I was younger, I thought showers were supposed to happen in the dark.
How was I supposed to know? Then when I was 19, I was showering at a friend’s house and looked up and noticed there was a light inside the shower, right above the shower head.
I finished showering, walked out to a room full of friends, and said, “What’s the point of having a shower curtain if there’s a light above you anyway?” That’s when my friends had to explain to a 19-year-old man what a shower curtain is actually for.
45. Geography Lesson
In eighth grade, my mom was driving me home from school when we stopped at a red light. The car in front of us had an Alaska license plate, and I instantly showed how clueless I was. I asked, “How did that get here?” My mom looked at me for a second before saying, “They drove here…”?
Up until that moment, I had no idea Alaska was connected to Canada. I always thought it was an island because every map we used in school showed Hawaii and Alaska in little boxes at the bottom left. I blame the school system.
46. Summer Of Sound
I learned surprisingly late—probably in my mid-teens—that the long, droning sound I hear every summer during the day comes from an insect called the cicada. I’m not sure how common they are in other countries or climates. I just never really thought about it much. I assumed it was simply the sound that summer made.
47. Sitting On The Throne
When I was being toilet trained, I figured out that the little kid-sized toilet seat was step one, and step two, obviously, was sitting on the bigger adult-sized toilet seat. I was so proud of myself when I quickly moved on to step three: sitting on the bare porcelain all by myself! It wasn’t until I was around 16 that I realized I’d been doing it wrong.
48. Parent Panic
Once, when my daughter was little, I was carrying her around a pet store and looking at all the animals in their cages when I suddenly panicked. Where is my daughter? I started checking the nearby aisles, frantically searching for her.
She was just here a second ago! Did someone take her? My mind was racing. By then my wife had noticed I was acting strange and asked what was wrong. I said, “Where is our daughter?!” Her answer made me turn red.
She just stared at me with a concerned expression. It took a moment for my brain to catch up. I slowly turned my head toward the little bundle in my arms. I couldn’t believe it. I was so used to carrying her around that my brain had completely forgotten I was already holding her. It was one of the strangest things I’ve ever experienced.
49. Unlucky Lunch
I was getting a sandwich at Subway, and I noticed the girl making it kept looking at me. She couldn’t seem to take her eyes off me. She was pretty cute, so I thought, wow, maybe I should come back and ask her out sometime. The real reason was much more embarrassing. I got into my car, looked in the rearview mirror, and saw a huge white booger hanging from one nostril. I didn’t go back to that Subway for months.
50. TP Terror
One time before class, I decided to quickly use the bathroom, and back then I liked to make a little nest of toilet paper on the seat before sitting down. Anyway, I finished up and went to class. I was a little late, but it didn’t seem like a big deal... even though everyone noticed me walking in late.
After class, I caught up with one of my friends, and he kindly pointed out that I had a strip of toilet paper from my nest stuck in my pants, hanging out behind me like a big white tail of shame.
