People say things they wouldn’t normally admit when they think someone’s asleep. But the thing about sleeping is that it’s easy to fake. If you fool the people around you, you might get to hear the inside scoop that you wouldn’t get if you were awake. These people learned this the hard way. From the silly to the scary, these people overheard the strangest things while they were “sleeping.”
1. Getting the Low Down
I’d had more than a few drinks at a party and I felt pretty wrecked, so I lay down and closed my eyes in a dark room. I heard two of my friends’ girlfriends come in. One came over, poked me in the ribs, and then said, “It’s fine, he’s asleep.” They then proceeded to talk about how both of them were cheating on their boyfriends and who they wanted to hook up with at the party.
2. Gassing By
As a kid, I used to be scared of monsters, so I would always ask my dad to check on me before going to bed. It made me feel more comfortable. One night, I was awake, and I heard him coming up the stairs when I wasn’t supposed to be awake. I knew that I’d get in trouble, so, I pretended to be asleep. He came in my room and just stared at me for a few seconds, then came up close to my bed, lifted the blanket up, tooted under it, turned around, and left. It’s been at least 15 years, and I remember that night vividly. He vehemently denies it to this day but I know what happened.
3. Nosy Friend
I brought my friend Andrea to a buddy’s party. As the night wound down, I was too messed up to drive home, so I crashed at the party house. I was on the floor about to fall asleep when I heard Andrea calling my name. Wanting to sleep, I ignored her. Then she said, “ok, Kyle I think he’s asleep, come here.” It didn’t take long for me to hear the bed squeaking. 15 minutes into it, one of them sneezed, so I said, “bless you” automatically. They stopped right away.
4. Gotta Sleepover It
I was sleeping over at a friend’s house when I was 14. We all slept in the living room. I couldn’t sleep. Then, two of my friends, a guy and a girl, directly next to me started doing freaky things to each other. I was really shy and a couple of years younger than them, so I stayed quiet and hoped they’d stop. Nope. Unfortunately that is not what happened.
I was forced to listen to them for an entire hour while she was making these really weird moaning squeaky noises and he was singing, in a weird slightly whispery sing-song voice, Matchbox 20 songs to her while doing his thing. That was the last time I wanted to sleep over at a friend’s house…ever.
5. Honor Thy Father
I was only 11 but to this day, this is by far the worst thing I have ever heard while pretending to be asleep. My brother and I had been really bad that day, and when my dad grounded us, we both told him that we hated him and wanted him to go away even though he didn’t do anything wrong. We were just being a couple of immature terrible brats and didn’t want to listen.
Looking back, my dad was going through a really dark time. That night, he drank heavily and walked into our room. I pretended to sleep. Then I heard these deep, haunting sobs. I’ll never forget them. He stumbled outside, and we heard him begging my mom to let him go and sobbing, “All I’ve ever wanted in my entire life was to be a better dad than mine.”
I was only a kid but it destroyed my heart. I think that’s when I learned that emotional pain actually physically hurts. I was hunched over in my bed bawling my eyes out and on the verge of throwing up. I felt like a jerk for crying over what we said too. My brother was thankfully able to sleep through it all.
6. Getting Rid of Oscar the Couch
I moved into this new place, specifically a basement in a house where a bunch of other guys lived on the main and second floor. At first, they said it was fine for me to bring my couch into the basement, where they had their jam area. Then, apparently, they changed their minds. I was pretending to sleep when I heard them planning how to get me out the basement soon, all because I was “taking up the jam area”…which I was paying to rent.
7. Fertilization Lottery Winner Only
One time, my grandparents had won ten thousand dollars playing at the casino. They’d told each of their children about their good luck and presumably gave them each a part of the money…except for my father. I heard them talking about it when I was staying with them one night.
8. Pushing All the Buttons
In my freshman year of college, my roommate was a nice dude who was in an incredibly toxic long-distance relationship with his high school girlfriend. She constantly called him and accused him of cheating even though he never left the room except to go to class. I tried not to pay attention to their conversations and in fact, I only knew about the cheating accusations because she constantly messaged me pretending to be him trying to get me to say he cheated. Yeah, she had issues.
She was visiting, and they went out on a date night, and I went out drinking. I had a fight with the girl I was seeing, so I went home and went to bed early. I was almost asleep when they came back. They were making out and all that stuff. I was annoyed but tried to sleep. They got busy, but then it got very weird. She said, “you can put it down there.” I just thought, “oh, god,” and then my roommate asked her, “are you sure?” She went, “yea, John did it, so it’s only fair. Plus, you’re smaller, so it’ll be easy.” He was like, “wait, what? No, that’s super messed up. Why would you say that? I thought we were past that.”
“Well, mostly but like it felt unfair to not let you,” she said. He sounded done with her and said, “I don’t want to. I don’t even want to have you. Just go to sleep.” Then, it got even worse. In a high-pitched pleading voice, she said, “please…you can do it to me. Come on! It’s no big deal.” He refused her again, “I don’t want to.” It went on like this for a little back and forth until he relented. But then she went, “it’s…it’s not even hard! Why isn’t it hard?” They both started crying until I finally fell asleep and didn’t have to listen to that noise anymore. They dated for another six months after that, believe it or not.
9. Got My Back
I was a camp counselor, and there were two girls who loved to make hot or not lists. One of the girls suggested a guy counselor was hot, and the other said he was saying mean things about me behind my back, which made him not hot. It hurt to hear that the guy I had a crush on thought I was “an ugly pig,” but I’m glad my friends supported me.
10. Bad at Everything
I had friends over at my house once, and when they thought I was asleep, I heard them planning and talking about going into my wallet, taking my money, and leaving before I could notice that they left and ditched me. I “woke up” and then kicked them out of my home. They weren’t my friends after that happened.
11. Loving You No Matter What
My family was staying at a friend’s home, and we all had to share one room. When we were all supposed to be sleeping, I heard my dad coming to bed smashed and telling my mom something along the lines of, “Does it impress you that I’m like this and can still perform,” I actually wanted the floor to swallow us.
12. A Night Like No Other
I was 12 and got up in the middle of the night to use the toilet. Going to the kitchen for water, I saw my sister on the couch. She asked me to sleep in the living room with her, and I thought nothing of it. I woke up in the morning and because I was in the living room instead of my bedroom, I heard my mom phone my dad’s best friend and tell him that my dad had died in his sleep.
13. Supporting a Teammate
I stayed in bed in the morning and was lying down around 11 AM on my day off after a long string of I think 10 or so work days in a row. This was before I got divorced from my ex who refused to get a job. He was in the next room playing a video game, and I heard him say, “That terrible woman is still sleeping.” That’s when I knew I needed to move on from him.
14. Sight for Sore Eyes
When I was 10, my aunt was talking to my mom, and they both thought I was sleeping. I was pretending to be asleep, and I could hear when my aunt said to my mom, “aw [my name] is such an adorable kid!” Then I heard my mom say, “No, he’s not very good looking at all.” It really hurt to hear my own mom say that.
15. Can’t Keep Down
My sister was going through a tough time and had had more than a few drinks, when I heard a loud thud from my bedroom. She had passed out, leading her friends and our parents to start shouting and freaking out. Then they started crying, thinking she had died. The whole thing was so scary that I just stayed in bed and tried to imagine I was somewhere else. Thankfully, she was fine. After that, I appreciate seeing her even more and tell her I love her every week.
16. Boys Are Gross
I was 14 and staying with my dad and my step-mom, and I was asleep in the motor home. My step-mom’s nephews were there, and I heard them talking about all the nasty things they’d do to me if they could. They were 17, 19, and 21. Thankfully, my dad heard the entire conversation and told them to can it. I was scared of men for a long time after that.
17. Room for Really Living
This is the absolute worst thing I’ve ever heard while people thought I was sleeping. When I was a pre-teen, I heard my dad and stepmom having a foursome with a couple of their friends. We were staying at this summerhouse, and they all were doing it in the living room. I was quite uncomfortable when I ate breakfast with everyone in the morning.
18. Quiet Resentment
One night, my mom came into my room at midnight thinking that I was asleep and said this to me in a half whisper, “I just need to get it off my chest… you are so hard to love. I’m tired of trying to, and I just don’t have it in me anymore.” I still have a big hole in my heart because of what she said to me.
19. Don’t Wanna Watch That Show
When I was a little kid, I pretended to be asleep in the family room so I wouldn’t have to actually go to bed, and once my parents were distracted, I could keep watching TV. I did it all the time…until one night. I heard my dad proposition my mom for couch fun. I don’t remember in exact words what he said, but it was something like “hop on Pop.”
20. Hands off Approach
I wasn’t “pretending to be asleep” per se, but I was well on my way there. I was under anesthesia, and I was fading in and out of consciousness. I remember closing my eyes to get things going. I was in a lot of pain because my appendix ruptured. This happened years ago, so I can’t remember all of the details.
I remember being moved on an operating table, and they’d told me to take my shirt off. I heard someone go, “What do you think would happen if I poked her belly button right now?” Someone responded, “dude, that is NOT funny. Remember what happened the last time?” It’s could’ve been dreaming, but it was amusing.
21. That’s My Girl!
On a class trip, I heard a girl talk badly about me to the other girls in the room saying I was a dummy and too stupid to stand up for myself. She said she wasn’t mean to me was only because she needed me to help her with her homework. Then my best friend swore at her and told her that I was only kind of shy. I learned a lot about two of my friends that day.
22. It’s My Party
My in-laws thought I was still napping after dropping my kid at school, and they started talking badly about me. Their words broke my heart. They said I was a terrible mother, didn’t care for my kids at all, and they’d better buy the cake because I would rather sleep all day than make him the cake. It was his birthday, and it was 10 AM!
And it doesn’t take that long to make and frost a cake for him. I cried in my room for two hours before they left to “buy groceries” i.e. drink into a stupor before I got up and made the cake and dinner my child wanted. I didn’t tell my husband what they said until later because I didn’t want to ruin the day.
23. It Was a Rough Night
I was staying over at my boyfriend’s apartment and his roommate also happened to have some friends who were dating there as well. I was in my boyfriend’s room, and they were sleeping in the living room. They were definitely doing the dirty, but the strangest thing out of everything were these weird banging sounds.
It was like someone was hitting the wall. The whole time I had to use the washroom badly but getting to the bathroom involved walking by the living room, and I did not want to risk it. When we woke up the next morning, someone had ripped a chunk out of one of the curtains, and the TV remote was snapped in half.
24. Vile-ating Living Rules
My roommate’s boyfriend and his friend came into my room when they thought I was asleep. It was warm, and I was sleeping with no clothes on and with minimal blanket coverage. I froze and pretended to sleep. They proceeded to talk about my body, how it was anyone’s type, how easy it is to drug ladies these days. It was disturbing.
25. Indefinitely Bad
I was in trade school in another city than my hometown, so I was staying at my in-law’s house. My wife’s dad was away for the weekend, and I had noticed her mom wearing pretty dresses. She’s a beautiful woman often mistaken for my wife’s sister. She seemed really giddy before she would leave for the evenings.
When my father-in-law got home, I was in my room studying when I heard him yell at the top of his lungs, “so, are you sleeping with that guy?!?!?!?!” I could only assume that she felt guilty and told him since it was soon after he got home. He yelled at her for most of the night, and I heard some terrible things.
They are both very nice people, and it was sad to hear them cry and fight on their worst night. They did stay together, and it looks like they are fighting to make their marriage work. My father-in-law was quite cold, distant, and angry for a couple of years, but they seem to be warming towards each other again.
26. I Wonder Why
I was in high school and needed to start seeing the counselor for mental health issues. My parents were essentially making fun of me when they thought I was sleeping, saying that I wanted attention and started mocking my voice saying, “no one understands me. I’m SO mistreated!” Yeah, my mom and stepdad sucked a lot.
27. Tomorrow’s Itinerary
I heard my parents talking about plans for the next time they were going to be intimate. They decided that my dad would come home from work around lunchtime the next day to do it while we, the children, would be occupied at school. When I got back from school that day, I couldn’t look my parents in the eye.
28. What Could Have Been
I acted like I was sleeping while my family was talking about marrying me off to this girl who’s educated and five years older than me. I was only fifteen at the time. The girl had just graduated, and her family wanted her to marry someone. She agreed, and her family made a list of possible suitors, which included me. I had an almost fully developed beard at that time, so they probably assumed that I was older. When they asked me, I outright rejected it because she was basically like a big sister to me. I regret it to this day.
She ended up getting married to an older guy with mental health issues. He hurt her every day because he assumed that she was cheating. Then she got pregnant, and he didn’t believe it was his even though it was. Authorities were called, and the family intervened. It has now been two years since she got away from that monster. But he’s not locked up, so it still hurts me to this day. I know it wasn’t my fault, but I have guilt that I could have stopped this.
29. Top Tip Shape
I fell asleep on a table outside a party. I woke up but kept my head down. The cute girl who chatted with me earlier was talking about me. She said she wanted to make out with me earlier, but I kept passing out! Apparently, tipsy me stood up, looked at her, said “let’s do it, I’m soberer now,” and then immediately passed out.
30. Bunker Down, Partner
I had a bunk bed in college, and one night my girlfriend and I woke up to my roommate banging some chick on the top bunk. My girlfriend asked me what we could do, and I just mumbled, “just go back to sleep,” I figured that saying something to them then it would make things more awkward. He still doesn’t know.
31. Making Waves
Two of my good friends, a guy and a girl, and I were all sleeping on the water bed after a hard night of drinking. Now, everyone knew that the girl was head over heels in love with my guy friend, but he always told me that he didn’t think of her like that. So, I didn’t think it was a big deal us passing out in the same bed. Oh, how wrong I was.
I woke up, on a water bed to remind you, to those two making out and some possible heavy petting. I was stuck between waking up and ruining something or pretending to sleep and hoping it didn’t escalate. I chose the latter. It didn’t escalate. I was the best man at their wedding, and they have two children.
32. It Was Wringing
I found out my dad’s best friend had passed away when I was pretending to sleep. My dad and this guy had been friends since they were kids. They went to the same schools and stayed best friends for 50 years. When the friend had a drinking problem and cut off contact with everyone, my dad still reached out to him multiple times even though he obviously was not ready.
He eventually got off the drink, and they became really close again and were calling each other every day. That’s when I woke up to the phone ringing, and my dad staring down and numbly saying to my mom, “Oh god, I think he’s gone.” I heard this all unfold and pretended to sleep because I just did not know what to say. I didn’t fully process it until I went to work and then spent nearly two hours crying in the washroom.
33. Going Under Professional
When I was undergoing anesthesia for this surgery that I needed but not completely out of consciousness yet, I felt the surgical team go to remove my gown. Then, as soon as my chest was uncovered, I heard a male voice in the room say, “wow, she’s really developed!” Here’s the worst part: This happened to me when I was only like 14.
34. Creepy Caw-lies
I didn’t necessarily overhear anything, but I pretended to sleep when I was about 12 because I heard someone coming into the room that my little sister and I shared. I thought it was my mom who would yell at me for being awake at 2 AM. Nope, it was far worse: It was a random person holding a crowbar. He just looked and left when he saw us.
35. Fun with Mom
My mom and I shared a hotel room on a trip that only had one bed. I heard my mom’s phone go off and listened to her giggle as I was trying to fall asleep. My parents hate each other, so I knew it wasn’t my dad. So, I took a peek and saw her flirting with other men by sending them an explicit picture of herself. I couldn’t sleep at all after that.
36. Read the Room
My “friend” and her boyfriend were sleeping together while we were staying in a hotel room together. There were two beds, and my boyfriend and I were on the other one. My “friend” was so wasted, and her boyfriend was saying “no stop, they’ll hear us, no!” but he finally gave in. I did give her trouble about it later.
37. Unsafe at Home
When I was five years old, I heard my father telling my mother that sometimes he just wanted to hurt me. Being that my Dad had a drinking problem and was full of rage, I really believed him and lived my entire childhood thinking he was going to assault me if I did something that he didn’t like. It was terrifying to hear him confirm it.
38. Stench Siblings
I was faking sleep in the car next to my sister. I was about six, so she was about 13. She let out a raunchy, all windows down, gag the rest of the people in the car kind of fart. Then, she immediately blamed it on me! I stayed “asleep.” Nobody to this day knows the truth, and she still thinks she got away with it. I got you, sis.
39. So Many Possibilities
After a night out in NYC with friends, we decided to crash at her parents’ Manhattan apartment instead of trekking back home. She and her siblings basically used the place as a crash pad for whenever they were in that part of the city, and we were aware that one of her older brothers might come by that night.
When we got back, he wasn’t there, and I chose to sleep in the living room instead of sharing a bed with my friend. I must have drifted off for a while, but I woke up to him coming into the apartment on the phone. I pretended to be asleep since I had only met him once and didn’t want to make tired small talk.
I then heard him say a truly terrifying thing to the person on the phone, “oh I forgot, [friend] has this girl over…yeah she’s cute…I’m pretty sure she’s asleep – yeah definitely asleep…I could just go over there and get on top of her for sure…I mean yeah it’s been a long time…” He continued to vocally consider touching me.
He took a step or two closer to where I was frozen until he said something like, “nah, I probably shouldn’t anyway [friend] is here,” and he walked off. I made myself stay awake for as long as possible and left first thing in the morning. I told my friend, and her response was essentially “well, he’s lonely.”
40. Always Thinking of You
When I was sharing a hotel room with my grandfather, in the middle of the night, he woke up and went to use the washroom as oldies do. He finished and, he got back to bed. But before he went to sleep, he said prayers out loud for his late wife. It makes me cry every single time I think of it.
41. A Mother’s Love
When I was “sleeping” I heard my ex-boyfriend’s mom absolutely tearing me apart over the phone. I’d never met the woman, but she saw a picture of me with her son at a tailgate. She didn’t like how blonde my hair was or how I smiled with a closed mouth. Needless to say, we broke up soon after because her son wasn’t a good person.
42. Sleeping out for This One
After a party, I crashed at a friend’s house nearby. I was “sleeping” in a bed with my friend and this guy that I liked at the time. I heard her, um, performing certain acts on him…while he whispered in my ear telling me to get up and join them. This went on for a little while before they thankfully decided to leave for another room to finish doing their business.
43. Viewer Discretion
In grade school, I was at a friend’s place with other friends for a sleepover. We were watching this show where they see who can go around without wearing any clothes the longest or something. His mom came in and thought he was watching something inappropriate. We all pretended to sleep while he got into trouble.
44. Lifting a Bro Up
The funniest thing I’ve heard while I was “sleeping” was probably when I went on a camping trip with the boys. I have sleep apnea, and I have to use a CPAP machine overnight to regulate how I breathe. I overheard my friends talking about getting high and hotboxing me through the air intake of my CPAP machine.
45. On the Hot Bed
A French girl I met in a hostel came to where I was sleeping and just sat there. We’d dated for a hot second and I’d just ended things. When she came into the room, I didn’t want to deal with the drama. So, I pretended to be asleep. She just mumbled randomly. Finally, what got me up was when, in the cutest French accent, she said she was going to set me on fire in my sleep.
46. Watch Your Mouth
When I was younger, my mom would make my brother and me take naps for like 45 minutes. I pretended like I was sleeping, and I heard my mom talking on the phone to my grandmother. During the conversation, I assume my grandma asked what my brother and I were up to because she said ImHully’s brother is sleeping.
Then she said I was pretending to be asleep. I was like hey! She said she knew I was faking because my mouth was closed, and whenever I’m actually asleep, my mouth is kind of open. That backfired on her. Ever since that day, whenever I’m pretending to be asleep for whatever reason, I keep my mouth slightly open. Thanks for the tip!
47. Nothing Gets Past Me
When I was in college, I woke up one night hearing my roommate’s bed creaking. I shot up to see what’s happening. I saw some woman on her back with her legs spread and my roommate just pile driving it like it was his last day on earth. Like a good bro, I quickly lie back down and pretended to be asleep. Then I heard her say, in between gasps of air, “Is your roommate awake? To which my roommate responded with, “nah, he sleeps through everything.”
The next morning, I casually got up and turned on my PS2 and started playing some random game. My roommate’s fling got up and casually came over and sat next to me We said good morning to each other, and she asked, “Did you sleep well last night?” And then I said, “Oh, yeah. I can sleep through anything.” As the last words left my mouth, I immediately realized that I blew it. She got mad at my roommate, but he didn’t care because he was too busy laughing the whole time.
48. Brushed Off
I was over at a friend’s place, and I had fallen asleep on her couch. Then when I woke up, I could hear my friend and her husband having a loud argument in the next room. As I listened to them arguing, I learned the chilling reason for the fight. Apparently, it was because she’d walked in on him stroking my hair when I was sleeping on their couch.
49. Lots-o’-Huggin’ Cher
When I was younger, I was pretending to sleep in front of my parents. Then my parents started discussing something awful: whether or not I was gay. They were trying to explore all the reasons why I would turn out gay and where they thought they went wrong with me. Apparently, my parents thought it was from getting “too many hugs.”
50. Time to DIY
The worst thing I’ve ever heard when my parents thought I was sleeping was something like, “She’s too old for this. I’m not going to carry her up to bed anymore.” So that was the very last night when I was magically transported from the living room couch all the way to my bedroom without even opening my eyes.