Funerals are a time to say goodbye and celebrate a person’s life—there’s not for selfies or squashing beefs. The folks in these stories didn’t get the memo. In truth, life is complicated, death is worse, and everyone leaves behind loose threads on their way to the next world. With luck, a funeral doesn’t have to strangle everyone in these threads of family feuds, bad planning, and just plain intoxication. Jump out of the coffin to these 42 stories about the most shocking acts performed at funerals.
1. Get Ready for the Black Carpet
A narcissistic family member arrived late (after everyone else was at the graveside for the burial, and probably lurking behind a tomb to pick the perfect time after the priest had just started talking), wearing an enormous hat and sunglasses and low-cut gown like she was attending the Golden Globes red carpet or something. She loudly makes an absolute scene of how devasted she was, daaaaaarlings and just generally making it all about her.
2. A Most Unfortunate Competition
Not a funeral but at the hospital when my grandfather was passing away his brother and my uncle (his son) got into a fist fight over which generation was abused worse by their parents. They had to be escorted out by security.
3. Aunts Ain’t Nothing
My mom’s crazy sister trying to take the wedding rings off of my dead grandmother’s hands. She claimed that she helped pick out one of the newer rings when my grandparents renewed their vows. Here's another! Same aunt: When my dad’s brother was going through cancer treatments, she then told everyone that she was diagnosed with the same cancer. When he passed away, she went to the funeral saying she was cured of the cancer.
4. Six Feet Under? More Like Five Fingers Over
My mom died at the end of last year. I have a large family (seven siblings, ten niblings) that is spread from Alaska to Florida. I got married earlier the same year and my wife finally got to meet my whole family at my mom's funeral. Only thing is, when she's nervous in social situations she likes to high-five people she is comfortable with—only me in this situation. Definitely the most high-fives in one day for me. It just happened to be at my mom's funeral.
5. You Can’t Take It With You, But I Can
When my dad’s mom passed away, there were a lot of people there. He comes from a family of 11, (10 now as his sister passed away a while ago), so there were a lot of nieces, nephews, and cousins. It was an open casket. I was around 12-13, but everyone was grabbing things from her/off her from the casket, all the aunts grabbing things for their kids who don't even know her/remember who she is/way too young. The ONLY thing my dad has a keepsake of his mother is a little rose pin that she wore in the home she was in before she passed. It's unfortunate and makes me feel very sad for my dad.
6. Nanny Dodged a Bullet
At my grandfather in-law’s funeral. My husband’s mother is a SAINT and I would gladly cut a switch for her. I don’t know where she got her sweetness from, because it was CLEARLY NOT FROM HUSBANDS GRANDMOTHER (her mom). Her mother ditched all the kids with dad when they were babies. Literally left them in his driveway and disappeared. My mother-in-law talks to her maybe once a year.
So her dad dies, the only parent who raised her and the only parent that showed her love. Her evil witch of a mother had the gall to show up to the funeral to bask in the attention, and the first AND ONLY thing she says to my mother-in-law was: “I need the death certificate so I can file” for whatever benefits or retirement money he had...even though they had been divorced for 40 some odd years and she had already remarried.
My mother-in-law was already in tears and to say that to the daughter you abandoned while she was grieving...horrible. My husband had to physically restrain me because I wanted to knock her on her dusty butt. My family is always a trashy dumpster fire, but I guess every family has a few stray trash bags somewhere.
7. Last Call Before Closing
At an open casket wake, a friend of the deceased attempted to give her a drink of single malt whiskey. She ended up being forcibly removed as she wouldn't stop and spilled a lot of the alcohol in the casket. It was as horrible and inappropriate as it was heartbreaking—for everyone.
8. Thirst Can’t Wait
Someone trying to "quietly" open a can while they were doing the closing prayer.
9. Took You Long (and Loud) Enough
My cousin's funeral—he was 27 years old and killed in a single-car crash after he hit a slippery patch on the road and smashed into a concrete wall. At his funeral, all of his brothers, sisters, and parents sat on the front row at his graveside service. Then, lo and behold, my cousin's ex-girlfriend of over a year shows up and immediately inserts herself into the front row next to his sisters.
She then proceeded to scream cry, scream wail, and throw herself on the ground periodically throughout the service. All of the family just gave her awkward stares, with no one wanted to address her inappropriate behavior. I had never seen that type of attention-demanding drama queen antics before...or since...
I just wanted to throw this in—this was a funeral with military honors (Air Force), and they did the gun salute at the gravesite. I don't remember how many times they fire, but at each gunshot, she would literally shriek and collapse into the arms of either of the sisters standing next to her. I do recall at the very end that the youngest sister was sick of that act and just let her fall on the ground. And it was raining heavily and rather muddy.
10. Procession of Errors
My time to shine. Former mortuary industry worker. The worst is hard to call because I’ve seen a lot. Some honorable mentions: A rando walking in off the street and proceeding to help herself to coffee and ODing in our bathroom. Didn’t die. Did get narcan’d. A couple fooling around in the urn/casket showroom during the viewing.
An angry old woman storming out of the bathroom with a fistful of tampons, screaming about how inappropriate we were for keeping them in there because “THERE ARE CHILDREN HERE!!” She threw them at the funeral director’s face. They were kept in a cabinet, in a small basket, well hidden from public view. She was definitely rifling around to have found them. We were no longer allowed to keep our sanitary products in the restrooms after this.
A grief-stricken mother tipping her son’s casket while wailing and trying to climb inside. Less inappropriate than it was terribly sad. Caught a junkie relative digging deep into the pockets of the deceased looking for what we and the family always assumed was money. A woman pulling down her child’s pants and letting it defecate in a potted plant.
The funeral home owner’s horrible dog sashaying up to the front and taking a giant liquid poop in front of the casket and horrified guests in the middle of the service. The same dog biting someone at another service. Tons of brawls. Lots of drinking. Biker funerals were INSANE. The women were meaner than hell and fighting one another constantly. The dudes were awesome though. Super respectful, cleaned the place up perfectly, and even hauled their trash away. Most of which was bags of beer cans and liquor bottles. I loved biker funerals. I have some, SO many. But I’ll stop here.
11. From Thrown Back to Throwback
Only somewhat inappropriate, but certainly the funniest thing...It was a funeral for an uncle I was very distantly related to, and (this is happening in Greece, in the summer), the church is very full and incredibly hot, you can smell the sweat, there's incense, the air isn't circulating, and the priest is just going on and on. Don't think I can describe how grim the situation was.
Not totally unexpectedly, therefore, just as the priest is getting to something particularly emotional, a man, an old colleague standing near the back, faints. He's completely out. Now, this guy was very tall and rather broad, so not only was it a miracle that he didn't take out the two tiny old ladies right in front of him, he was also really difficult to carry outside to get some air!
Somebody has the brilliant idea that the pallbearers (those people who carry the casket) should carry him, since they've practiced it and are reasonably strong. So, everybody squeezes a bit tighter (nobody wants to leave the church, things just got interesting) to let them through. They pick him up, three on one side and three on the other, i.e. more or less as they would the casket, and start carrying him towards the door.
Suddenly, this guy wakes up, turns his head several times, grasps what's going on and who's carrying him faster than anybody can respond, and immediately starts yelling "I'M ALIVE! I'M ALIVE! I'M ALIVEEEEEE!" At which point, one of the pallbearers laughs so hard that he drops what was thankfully a leg, and the others struggle to put him down in what is now a church absolutely exploding with laughter.
The whole situation went on for a good fifteen minutes in which this guy walked outside, and the priest tried to resume the service, but there absolutely continued to be giggles throughout. I, being a teenager at the time, couldn't possibly hold it back every time I thought of this guy yelling he's alive! Nobody was even particularly upset because the uncle we were burying was always laughing and joking around, so it somehow felt appropriate that we had a great laugh at his funeral.
12. Looking Out for Number Two
Not super inappropriate, but my grandfather was always a trickster. He had a great sense of humor. He had this little song he would sing to me, my siblings, and my little cousins where he would just repeat the words “poo poopy doo” over and over. At his funeral, my aunt was telling stories about him and in the middle of her telling a story, my six-year-old cousin screamed “POO POOPY DOO” in front of 50 people. Needless to say, it lightened the mood a little bit and made everyone a little happier remembering him in a good way.
13. A Sis Who Won’t Be Missed
Picture if you will, two elderly women in a funeral squaring up as people are still crying from the ceremony. At the lunch after my grandpa’s funeral, his daughter from a previous marriage “Dee,” who no one had seen in years, showed up. Dee had been writing bad checks all the way to the state prison and had definitely had some unresolved beef with my family when she got out.
The last time my mom saw her was when was 11 and Dee left her infant daughter for my mom to babysit and never came back. Fast forward to the funeral, Dee is acting like it’s a family reunion, but no one is having it since she’s basically screwed everyone in the room in one way or another. My grandpa’s last girlfriend, a legally blind woman, tried to physically fight her until others stepped in.
After the funeral, Dee tried to steal the car willed to grandpa’s blind boo. My family thought ahead, and a couple of my uncles waited around the house until Dee came for the car. They came outside and apparently, she was scared off. Blind boo got the car in the end and wrecked it immediately. I can’t make this stuff up.
14. Long Live the King!
My uncle, who is not well liked in the family, passes away. He was notoriously mean to his children through verbal and physical abuse, a loner, and a man who would generally look for any excuse to argue. Anyways, at his funeral, everything is going well, lots of real sad, lots of fake sad, when there is a moment of everyone being quiet remembering the man he was when BAM his son (my cousin) comes barging through the doors with a single first raised in the air. Everyone turns and looks at him as he triumphantly exclaims "Rejoice! The tyrant is dead!" turns around and waltzes out of the room like nothing ever happened.
15. Love to Watch You Go
My paternal grandpa was kind of a scumbag. He talked constant trash about my mom, who'd done absolutely nothing to him, treated me and my sister like trash as kids, at one point telling eight-year-old me that I'd "grow up to be a Godless skank just like your mother." As soon as I hit puberty, he spent any time I was around staring at my boobs. Tried to grope me once and got slapped for it, which he just used to talk more trash about me. I hated the old bastard, and death did nothing to change that.
I do love my dad though, so I agreed to go to the viewing for him. I ended up just sticking with my dad’s girlfriend and my sister, who also were not a fan of this guy. My sister refused to go even look at the body, obviously still pissed with him, but I ended up going up with dads GF. Apparently, she had a bit of a history with him as well because she leaned over the body when nobody else was paying attention and whispered with as much vitriol as a person can muster while smiling "Good riddance you, nasty old bastard." I started laughing. I ended up passing it off as weird grief emotions and had to excuse myself to the car.
16. Farewell to Tact
My aunt died. Her husband has Asperger's and didn't really know how to cope with social situations; that was always her job. She chose to be cremated and have her ashes incorporated into a reef ball. At the funeral, I asked my uncle how long the reef ball would be around and after a few conversational rabbit holes we ended up talking about the percentage of my aunt that was in the atmosphere vs. the percentage that ended up in the reef ball (because of the cremation process).
My uncle and I didn't realize this was weird until my mom tapped me on the shoulder and we realized the entire funeral party was looking on in horror. My uncle is chill though, we still talk. My aunt didn't have a lot of money and regretted that she couldn't leave me anything, so after his business started doing better a few years later he bought me my first car in her honor.
17. First (and Last) Time for Everything
My grandma died before my grandpa. Since my grandpa was a Navy veteran (WWII and Pearl Harbor survivor), he got a free plot in a military cemetery. At this cemetery, they stack married couples one on top of the other. So, we are at the cemetery, and they are lowering my grandma down, and my grandpa asks, "So, if I had died first, they would have put me in first and put her on top of me?" The cemetery worker said, "Yep. My grandpa responded, "Huh. We never tried it that way before."
18. Save It for Debate Class
One of my good friends killed himself a few years back. He wasn't religious. At all. One kid who was a few grades above us and one of those reborn Christian types decided he would speak at the funeral (The parents of my friend asked that instead of a eulogy, they'd have all his loved ones share some memories).
So, this kid goes up to the podium and goes on a long-winded rant about religion and how this loss of life wasn't fair. Then he openly pondered whether my friend was in hell or not because suicide is a sin. Nobody stopped him, though. We were all kind of sitting there with our mouths open waiting for him to stop. I'll never forget that.
19. When You Gotta Go, You Gotta Go
My dad is a minister. Since he and my mum had divorced, he would often bring me along for work that happened outside of school hours, so he didn't have to pay a babysitter. He would bring me to funerals and weddings he was officiating. I would usually just hang out in the back and play. One day, he brought me to a funeral parlor I wasn't familiar with. At some point during the service, I had to pee. There wasn't anyone around to ask so I just kind of wandered out into the service and asked my dad where the bathroom was because I had to pee "real bad." In addition to disrupting a funeral service, I also asked my question right into the microphone on his jacket so the whole congregation heard. Didn't really understand what I had done for another few years.
20. Leave a Beautiful Corpse
My SO, who is very awkward when it comes to feelings, used one of his classics at one of our friends' funeral. She died unexpectedly at 27. Her best male friend (who is a very close friend of ours ), who is in tears and all broken up, says," Ain't she pretty though? SO replies softly "I'd still do her..." Cue the awkward silence for a good three seconds. And then the best friend bursts into tears and laughter. "You dumbass! I needed that, thanks."
21. Odd Moment for a Selfie
My ex came back from her grandfather's funeral (I had to work) with family reunion pictures of herself, her siblings, and her parents... posing next to the open casket. When I casually commented that I thought it was a little off, she explained that they did so because "Grandma otherwise wouldn't believe he died."
22. But Time is a Flat Circle, Mom!
My grandmother's funeral was on her birthday. I purchased "happy birthday" balloons because it was what she would have wanted. I was immediately reprimanded by my mother when I arrived as she forgot it was her birthday. But everyone that knew the family knew that she would have loved it, even my grandfather laughed when I walked in with them.
23. A Lot of Gall From That Pallbearer
One of my best friends died in September. There were some...questionable circumstances surrounding his death, in that we were all pretty sure it was drug related (heroin). Anyways, the guy that got him into the stuff, who shot him up the night he died, showed up to the funeral. High. I could’ve killed him.
24. One’s Mans Grieving Friends Are Another Man’s Recruitment Pool
My best friend died last year from random heart failure at 25. The pastor at the funeral went on for about ten minutes about how we had all killed him because we were sinners and that we should join his church to make amends. He didn't know any of us. It was very uncomfortable.
25. Two Uses for a Veil
A marriage proposal to the recently widowed. She accepted. I know this is a thing in some families where if a guy dies, a single, male relative of the deceased will end up marrying the widow. Why this is a thing, I dunno, but know it is. So, the divorced brother proposed to his deceased brother's wife, and she said yes. I doubt there was any cheating going on there. The two are still happily married as well.
26. In it for the Cash
My grandfather passed away a few months ago. He was a WWII veteran and a pastor, so, therefore, didn’t make a lot of money and died basically penniless. When he was in his 40s, he married a woman and helped her raise her four teenage children and had my father around the same time. The four children were always awful people and cut off contact with him and my father 20+ years ago. At his funeral, all four step-kids, their spouses, and ALL of their children showed up, walked up to my dad in one big group, and demanded he hand over their inheritance.
My dad said, “What inheritance??” (Not only did grandpa die with 12 dollars to his name, he also never formally adopted these children and hadn’t spoken to them in 20 years). They then threatened to sue my dad and left the funeral before it officially began. A few weeks ago, my dad was served with an official lawsuit from some billboard attorney they scraped up the funds for. Luckily, my fiancé is a much more successful attorney, and is on his way to getting the case dismissed with prejudice and his attorney’s fees paid.
27. Head Over Heels in Grief
I have a very short uncle. He went to kiss his friend on the cheek and fell into the casket. The lid closed on him and all you can see was his legs dangling from the closed casket. I don't think he ever got over that.
28. Passed Over For a Blast from the Past
Not sure if this counts as inappropriate but when my high school classmate died (we were already in college), his ex (also high school classmate) came to the funeral. She cried so dramatically (because she wasn't able to end things with our dead high school classmate on a good note) that guests thought she was the current SO/GF that time.
Current SO/GF was left alone sitting alone staring blankly at the casket while relatives/friends/high school classmates comfort the ex. Also, it got to the point that the boyfriend (can't recall if he attended or just got word of what happened) of that girl during that time got jealous and got angry because it looked like she cared more for the dead than him (posted a rant on social media).
29. Save the Preaching for Later
My Grandmother spent the last decade and a half of her life in a nursing home with severe Alzheimer's and depression after being kicked out of two other places previously for trying to kill herself. Her last years were of weary terror: not remembering her children that would visit when they could, and she would ask only where her Mother was and breaking down in tears when she inevitably realized what was going on, as little as she could. She lived mostly as a result of modern pharmacology and medical science with little to no quality of life.
Before she passed, she'd agreed to have a Priest from the church she grew up come in and say a few words. Keep in mind this arrangement was made nearly 15 years before she passed. On the day of her funeral, the big news story was the court battle over Terry Schaivo and the right of family to keep her on life support versus her husband’s wishes desires to remove her from it. For those that don't remember the church got involved and made a major thing about how taking her off life support was akin to murder.
Feeling the need to opine, the Priest, who had never met her and knew nothing about her, took the cue and spent ten minutes talking about how life support is part of God's plan and removing people from it is murder and that the concept of euthanasia was legalizing genocide. He talked about how the Nazis extermination of the Jews was like what was going on in Florida and how if God saw fit to grant us life then it's our obligation to accept it as a gift, no matter the circumstances.
The room was a level of deafening silence as no one could believe what words had just been spoken, what concepts had been advocated, what disconnect from the situation had been demonstrated. A man of the cloth was supposed to be there to comfort us in a time of distress and had, instead, insisted that the decades of pain and suffering of this poor woman were righteous and God's will, and how dare anyone should question whether mercy should have been granted to her.
Never have I had to restrain myself more from getting up and physically removing someone from a room. When he was done, I stood up ready to go after him and felt my Father's hand on my shoulder. "Let me handle this" was all he said and walked up to the Priest and lead him out. All I remember is hearing the Priest say something to the effect of "Is there a problem? There's still more I'm supposed to do" as he was being almost lifted off the floor by his arm and escorted out a door as my Mom wept.
The only thing I could think of was that she was denied the ability to have any dignity in her death and was now being deprived it even after her passing. A short while later her casket was lowered into the ground next to her husband who had passed 30 years before her. It was done without incident and without the Priest.
30. The Sound of Pettiness
Was at the funeral of a Priest once. He was so well liked in the church, not only were there dozens of other priests, but something like two or three bishops. More than half of the people had to stand outside of the church and listen via loudspeaker. Kind of hard, when the neighbor of the cemetery plays anti-church and anti-god songs loud enough to hear nothing else. I'm absolutely not religious and usually listen to exactly the same music as well, but holy cow that was inappropriate. Especially because the guy got up at around 8 a.m. on a Sunday, just so he could mess with people.
31. Inherited a Song and Dance
My sister's elderly FIL found out he had cancer and shot himself in the head. He wasn't one bit religious, but her husband (his son) had joined the Mormon Church and decided on his own that the funeral services should be held there. The Mormon minister, who had never met the deceased, proceeded to hold everyone but me and my spouse captive for well over an hour while he described in minute detail why we should all join his church and become Mormons. We got up and walked out on the sales pitch after twenty minutes.
32. Cliquey to the Grave
At my grandmother's funeral. She only had three blood relations left in the world (myself included). Her second husband's family did not allow any of us to be part of the planning. They wouldn't let us sit in the family pew and wouldn't let us give farewell words during the service. A family friend kicked other people out of a pew near the front at least.
I nearly lost my mind during the eulogy, when the pastor stated, "She enjoyed plunking on the piano." The same piano she never touched and threatened to take an axe to on a near daily basis due to all the damn dust it collected. At the grave, each of the blood relations laid a rose on the casket and multiple people attending said "who are they" and "why are they even here."
Almost as an afterthought, we were invited to my grandmother's home after the burial which caused many puzzled looks from attendees as to why we would be invited. I noped the heck out of that to give the woman the sendoff she would have actually wanted, with alcohol and friends.
33. Why Should Her Funeral Be About Her?
A few years ago, when we were 15, a friend of mine committed suicide. She'd been sexually assaulted and raped by her mother's partner as a child, and the mother stayed with the guy so my friend (and her younger sister) ended up in foster care. The funeral was freaking horrendous with the obvious rift between her biological family and foster family (I know where I stand on the matter). The funeral celebrant seemed to be trying to bridge the gap for the sake of respect for my friend, but he kind of came across like he was way out of his depth and didn't really know what was happening.
The whole thing was overly religious considering the sort of person my friend was, and I know she would have preferred to have her actual self celebrated/mourned for rather than the whole thing being made about "oh but we lost our daughter, not you" and "you're the bad ones, we're the family." She deserved so much better in life, and in death. I still mourn for that girl and the life she led.
34. Some Things Don’t Belong on Instagram
My uncle's funeral. He was a State Trooper who died in the line of duty, so his funeral was a big event with hundreds of people including the governor. My mom's childhood friend, who has Asperger’s, showed up with her small yappy dog and a big DSLR. She walked up to the front to sit with the family, put her dog on the chair, and then walked around taking photos of people who were crying, getting into their faces to frame the perfect shot, lens shutter clacking loudly while her dog was sat on a chair yapping at everyone walking by.
My uncle's widow and children approached the casket and broke into sobs. It was heart-wrenching. My mom's friend ran over and put the lens in their faces clacking off a rapid succession of photos. Everyone there was looking around at each other like, "WTF is she doing" while simultaneously crying. It was so awkward, and no one had the courage to tell her to stop.
Afterward, we went to a reception room for family only, guarded by police. She tried to get in saying that she was family, but they blocked her until she got the attention of my mom, who told them to let her in. Then the governor arrived to offer his respects. He was quietly comforting my grandmother in a tender moment when my mom's friend butted in and loudly introduced herself as my uncle's sister.
Then she started in on an embarrassing story about my uncle running around the neighborhood in his underwear in high school. She was getting so close to the governor and so aggressively animated in her storytelling that his security had to step in and block her. Then the governor apologized, said he needed to go, and quickly left.
35. Early Vulture Doesn’t Get the Worm
My father’s funeral. After the service and the reception, my mother, brother, and sister headed back to our family home. A bunch of my father’s siblings and their family were also staying at the house with us. We got home a few minutes before everyone else. I was sitting at a table in the living room when I could see their cars come down the driveway. They all got out and were hugging and seemingly congratulating each other. The reception after the service was beautifully put together and was actually a fun time. A fitting send-off for my father. So, I assumed they were still just having fun from that. Until they came inside.
They all came in together very quickly, and quietly. They came up to me and my older brother sitting at the table, and kind of crowded around like a bunch of kids, about to see if they could have a cookie before dinner. My aunt Barbara smugly stood at the front and asked, “So, when are we going to be doing the reading of the will to see what was left to us all?”
My brother and I just looked at each other for a few moments before we turned to them to say, “Are you kidding? Reading of the will? Like a soap opera? There is no reading of the will. Everything that belonged to my father now just belongs to my mother!” The look of defeat, but not shame, was disgustingly transparent. They were supposed to stay another few nights. They packed up and left that afternoon.
36. Play It For Me Again, Sergei
My grandfather's brother's funeral kicked off the Great Tombstone Debacle of 2009. My grandfather's brother, Sergei, was a hoser who never kept a steady job and drank a lot. He was also known for playing the banjo and supporting the Saskatchewan Roughriders. After Sergei died, my grandfather and another of their brothers, Valery, somehow ended up designing his tombstone. It has his name, a little picture of him, his date of birth and death, and a giant banjo with the Saskatchewan Roughriders logo on it.
Sergei's wife and kids did not approve of the banjo tombstone. No one else in the family liked it either. Once it came out that my grandfather and Valery were responsible for this abomination, the non-tombstone-approving family members ganged up on them and it ended with a fist fight in the cemetery parking lot.
Since then, the rest of the family has tried to remove the banjo tombstone. As far as I'm concerned, it's still there and Sergei's wife is still mad at my grandfather and Valery. Since my grandfather died, she's now taking her beef out on my grandmother, which is now playing out on Facebook. She also refused to attend Valery's wife's funeral.
37. A Twist in the Funeral Plot
The mother of the deceased putting on a (terribly acted and meth-fueled) show about how much she loved and missed her daughter. Shortly thereafter she was convicted of the daughter’s murder.
38. Can’t Borrow a Bod Like This
The funeral home putting a random guy in my grandfather’s casket, suit, glasses, and wedding band...while then admitting that they had misplaced my grandfather, was fairly inappropriate for a funeral.
39. No Time Like Death to Start Living
A relative of my husband died. There was a gathering at her house after the funeral, hosted by her husband. It was mostly family of my husband, but there were a few friends. There was catered food and drink and people were just general socializing and telling nice stories about the deceased. About two hours in, a man and woman in their mid-20s show up. They are acquaintances of the widower. They walk around the house a bit, grab a drink and then disappear.
I was asked to get some more drinks from the garage, which was off the kitchen. I opened the door and stepped into the garage.
There was the young couple, leaning against a car and engaging is some pretty vigorous sexual relations. Another family member who was standing in the kitchen saw what I saw. I backed out of the garage because I was fairly embarrassed. I mean, who does that at a funeral?
I guess the other relative told the widower because the next thing I know there is shouting from the garage and the widower is telling these two people in no uncertain terms that they needed to leave. Apparently, not only were they having sex in the garage, but they were doing lines of coke off the hood of the car. Only a few people who were at the gathering found out what happened, thank goodness.
40. Six Feet Deep in Denial
My grandmother (52 at the time) died due to a botched surgery where they cut a major artery by accident and she bled out. Her mother was in her late 70s and could not believe she lost her daughter. She was showing early signs of dementia before this, and her death didn’t help. During the eulogy, my great-grandmother jumped up and said, “She blinked! I saw it! She’s not dead!” And attempted to run up and pull her from the coffin.
41. Foiled By the Oils Again
The lady who convinced my mother to ditch chemo and use essential oils handed put biz cards at her funeral.
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