Whether by nature or nurture, there is no question that men and women have developed some major differences from one another over time. What makes sense to one is often a total mystery to the other, and vice versa. It’s no surprise then that when men were asked to share some “secrets” about being a guy that women were probably not aware of, plenty of funny, interesting, and insightful tidbits were shared.
What is surprising though, is that this topic got some men to open up to such a deep level that likely no one would have ever predicted it. So take the journey with us and see, in all its brutally honest detail, what man have revealed about their secret realities that women don’t know.
38. Umm, I Think That One is Probably Just Your Friends…
Maybe not everyone does this, but most of my friends that have grown out their beard and cut it off have made the Hitler 'stache while shaving—only for a few moments though.
37. Variety is the Spice of Life
Being the little spoon is also nice!
36. Girls Don’t Always Share Our Sense of Humor...
My favorite is after hanging out with my guy friends and my girlfriend gives me the, "Tell me what you were talking about!" and I say, "Nah, you won't find it funny." She then gets grumpy and insists that I tell her, so I finally relent and tell it all. I then promptly receive a 20-minute lecture on why we are gross and unfunny.
35. Gossip Works a Little Differently With Guys…
Typically, our version of gossip will be a collection of things we've heard from sources that come up unexpectedly. Like you're just talking about Jane's butt, right, and how she’s been going to the gym, and then the other guys will jump in and be like yeah but she banged Tyson and Tyson is kind of flabby so then you're just like, holy crap I didn't know that was her type,
I'm never going to get on that then. It's passive conversation that doesn't appear as gossip while you're chatting but yet casually addresses a whole lot about a bunch of people’s sex lives.
34. It’s All About the Societal Expectations
From the get-go, we're taught that boys don’t cry and that they stick it out regardless of circumstance. To show any weakness, emotion, or ask for help is an affront to our masculinity. It takes a LOT for guys to ask for help—double so for psychological and emotional help.
33. A Little Compliment Goes a Long Way
So right now I’m working on getting a bit bigger in order to fill myself out more and I went out for dinner one time and a girl friend I hadn’t seen in a month said “Oh my gosh, look at the size of your arms. Have you been working out?” Not sure why, but I think these compliments mean more because the body takes a lot more work to make look good than the face which also boils down to just the cards you’ve been dealt in life.
Or as my friend put it, “Because if she noticed your body, you know she properly analyzed you up and down and thought you looked good.”
32. Guys Truly Are Capable of Communicating Like This
Here’s a relevant board game for guys, it’s called “Dude.” Dude is a game where you say "dude." The word "dude" appears on each card in one of six different ways, with 12 dooode cards, 12 dewd cards, 12 dude cards, 12 dude? cards, 12 tiny dude cards, and 12 tie-dyed dude cards. The goal is to quickly find matches for as many of your cards as you can.
To play, you say the word "dude" as you think it should be said, based on how it appears on your card. At the same time, listen to how the other players are saying the word "dude." Trying to figure out whether you have the same card as another player is the essence of dude. And no, this is not a joke. This game actually exists and can be found online. How cool is that!
31. A Sound is Worth a Thousand Words
I was told by a girl from a dating app the other day she was offended when I called her dude. Before she said this, it had never, in my life, crossed my mind that girls might not want to be called dude in casual conversation.
30. The Real Fear in Showing Emotion
Most people, but especially women, lose respect when a man shows excessive weakness like that. Not all women, but definitely the majority from my experience. Men just learn to never show it. It never works out well for us.
29. A Show About Nothing, All Day Every Day
If a guy goes out with other guys, chances are when he says that they "talked about nothing," they actually did talk about nothing interesting. No gossip, no “How's the family,” it just tends to be talking about some sort of shared interest or hobby and a lot of banter, and when you ask him I can almost guarantee that he remembers almost none of the content of the five-hour conversation they've been having.
28. The Cold, Hard Truth
We can be ferocious animals, but at heart, most of us are just cuddly Pooh bears who want to be understood.
27. There Has Never Been a More Impressive Talent Than This
When pissing in the middle of the night our echolocation is increased tenfold and we have the ability to know where the piss stream is hitting in complete darkness.
26. A Comprehensive Linguistic Guide to Guy Talk
In the interpretation of the word "dude," several factors must be taken into consideration:
Tone: Tone is one of the most critical factors in the communication of "dude." While shallow interpretations such as "happy" or "sad" can work, the more specific you get ("congratulatory," "critical"), the lesser your need to employ any of the following factors to interpret the "dude."
Direction: This refers to both the direction in which the speaker is pointing/looking. For instance, if he is pointing at a news story on a television screen, it is highly likely that the "dude" is intended as a comment on said news story. This hence affords you clues as to the meaning of the "dude."
Subject Matter: "Subject matter" refers to the topic or issue of which the "dude" is a comment on. Examples of this include the subject of conversation at the time of the "dude," or a video or movie you are watching.
25. You’ve All Got the Magic Touch
Guys like being touched. I like it when a lady keeps her hand on my thigh when we're driving, or rubbing my head when we're lying on the couch. Pretty much just any contact. My wife is the opposite and it sucks sometimes.
24. A Little TMI for Some of Us...
We don’t need any special mood, candles, or music for sexual arousal. Usually, it happens because we were scratching ourselves anyway.
23. Everyone Has Their Own Real Struggles
I think it's not often addressed that guys, just like girls, also deal with their fair share of insecurities, body dysmorphia, and pressures from society to act and look a certain way. It's just that openly talking about it and dealing with those emotions is seen as more shameful and is, therefore, less accepted.
22. Slow Down There, Fella!
We get erections all the time. And no most of them are not sexual in nature, we just get them. Randomly waking up at night? With one of them of course. Innocently waiting in the waiting room for your doctor’s appointment? Boom, another one! Middle of a serious office meeting? Guess what, out of nowhere! It's not always sexual.
21. The Pressure is Real
We’re scared to break down. Sometimes when it feels like the whole world is on your shoulders, it’s scarier to think what would happen if you asked for help and no one knew what to do rather than asking for help at all. I miss being a kid.
20. This One is So Rough, It Might Make You Tear Up a Bit...
Straight up, there are definitely things we feel like we can’t do no matter how much we might need to do them. And like, crying is a major issue for most of us. I don't know about you guys but I literally cannot cry even when I'm faced with a lot of issues. It kinda sucks cause it's healthy to cry but now I've forgotten what it's like and I'm almost scared to cry because people may think I'm weak. It's weird.
19. Reiterating the Point
This so much. I don't even know how many times I have just endured all that nonsense and stress and cried alone when night comes instead of just asking for help.
18. Ladies, We Really Don’t Get You Sometimes
On multiple occasions, I've been grilled for information by my wife after hanging out with friends. It usually starts when I give her a piece of info that came up that I know she'd want to know. There will inevitably be some line of follow-up questioning she wants answers to, and never understands how or why I didn't find the rest of it out.
It ends with some variation of: "Why didn't you ask [about the other question she wants answered]?" "I don't know; I guess it just didn't come up." "Well then, what did you talk about?" "I don't know, but not that." "Ugh! You're useless!" Honestly, I'm not trying to be difficult. It's just never something(s) that feels necessary to ask at the moment.
I guess it's the adult version of kids telling their parents they did "nothing" at school.
17. Despite Appearances, We Have a Lot on Our Shoulders Sometimes
After busting my backside taking all sorts of night courses after my day job and studying for all this accreditation, I finally landed not one but a second interview at my dream job. I got a message the other day that I've been rejected from it. At the same time, the person at my day job who has been here for three months quit, leaving us to be two members understaffed for a year now.
And just today, the only person other than me who can drive in my family, my dad, lost his driver's license, and I don't think he will be able to acquire another one despite the fact that he's had a clean driving record for over 40 years. This all happened in the span of two days. It's really hard not to break down sometimes.
I just did, and I'm currently in my car, away from people, because even during your absolute worst, you're still pressured to never show it in front of anyone. It can truly suck.
16. Men Will Truly Appreciate a Supportive Shoulder to Cry On
Why do men think they can't turn to someone? Is it the idea that men are supposed to be "strong" and crying is a pansy thing? I would be more than happy to let my boyfriend lean on me and have me listen. He can ugly cry for as long as he wants. You're human. It doesn't make you "less of a man" if you need a good cry or feel stressed out and need to take a load off.
Jesus, you poor guys! I can't imagine breaking up with my boyfriend because he broke down. If you need a cry, just cry! Screw everyone who thinks less of you. If she's going to leave you over that, she's a bad person. You deserve someone who's going to be there to see you through whatever you're going through. That's what a relationship is about. I don't easily cry in front of people, but I'd feel confident that my boyfriend would be there for me if I did it in front of him.
You put your trust in someone to support you and help you and they freaking leave? That makes me livid. I hope that my boyfriend trusts me enough and feels comfortable enough to cry in front of me if he needs to. It makes you just wanna say I hate people.
15. A Lot More Insecurities Than One Would Suspect
For a lot of the same reasons as this other stuff, a lot of people have body image issues, or sex hangups. That stuff unfortunately tends to start getting programmed in at such a young age and its way beyond “think about and decide against,” it’s more “never even crossed your mind until you break down.”
14. Stuck With the Raw End of Some Double Standards
There are many scenarios in which men are not given the same sympathy or cut the same slack by society as women typically are. For an example, perhaps create a mental example of common status updates on social media, especially Facebook. A lady might complain about her boyfriend, her boss, her job, any little thing.
I routinely see such things get about 70 or more likes and like 30 comments. If a guy were to complain about a relationship, it's likely to be assumed he's the one at fault. There will be like 3 likes, at most. A guy posting “I'm so lonely” will get zero traction, and if anything will likely get him some strange looks and a reputation as a weirdo.
It only has to happen once or twice to get the message. I was a homeless hippie for a while, after being pushed by some lady friends for a decade to “Surrender to the abundance of the universe” and “Stop being such a control freak.” Spend a little bit of time as a broke and homeless man and you'll get a clear example of how much people are willing to help men.
I once tried to hitchhike from a spot for an entire 24 hours. Never did once get a ride, and ended up walking.
13. We’re All Human, But Some Are Relying on Men to Be Less So
It's more of an effort for other people in my experience. I've only cried in front of my mates once (that was due to a friend dying) and it was only for a little bit even then. When I was at a funeral, my own mother called me her "Rock" because I'm always staying strong and being there with them, instead of breaking down like everyone else.
The only times when I cry is, ironically, when something happens and I'm scared of what will happen if I start to cry (the stress of all that gets to be too much). And even then, I really only cry in private.
12. The Last Stop on a Long Train of Responsibility
All the stress wears on your psychological and emotional well being. I have two young kids and their mother to support, and that is stressful enough by itself. Add in dealing with people at work who often have the emotional control of toddlers, parents who feel they can rely on you to prop them up financially—because apparently being irresponsible with money is OK if you are over 50 years old now (?) and a wife who has flashes of irresponsibility.
It really wears you down. If you are there to support everyone else—who can you turn to?
11. All Work and No Play Makes Jack a Dull Boy
Oof. Yeah. I'm a workhorse, have been doing 13 days of 8+ hours of work recently. How hardworking I am is always brought up. I don't get sick and my body rarely gets beat up or tired. I'm 31 and freaking terrified of my body getting old. I'm nothing if not strong as the first qualifier. I can’t let myself break down, I’d probably just die if so...
10. Sometimes Just the Thought Is Enough to Make a Real Difference
I've had a rough couple weeks and have felt like I had to break down a lot recently. Those that could tell that I was in pain and came up to me to ask if they could help really made all the difference some days. There's nothing they could do, but just to feel their empathy helped me feel a bit better and get through it all.
9. There’s No Easy Way to Say This but...Guys Don’t Really Care About the Same Things That You Do
I have this conversation over and over again with my girlfriend. She expects an update on each of my friend’s lives. Sorry, but we were discussing politics, football, a bit of gossiping about all of our girlfriends, and that's about it. I don't know if my buddy likes his new job. If he wanted to talk about it, he would’ve.
8. Harmless Yet Effective Ways of Dealing With Stress
Sometimes when I get stressed and like to mentally go back to a better place to cope with it all, I will do some things that I used to do when I was a kid. Who cares what anyone thinks if they see me playing in some rain and mud, or what they would think if I was watching DuckTales in front of them. There are far worse ways to deal with stress.
7. Longing for A Simpler Time
I'm just barely into beginning my time in college and I already want to go back to being a young, carefree teenager. Adult life for a guy is harder than you would think.
6. Feeling of Helplessness
All of these issues people are talking about are made worse especially when you know, or at least think you know, that no one knows actually what they're doing anyway, and that's there's no answer, so instead you just end up asking the question, reveal how much you've been hurting, and nothing changes, nothing gets solved, people just suffer knowing you're suffering.
5. Movies and Sports Trump All Else
This happened to me recently. I don’t see one of my closest friends as often anymore and when we do catch up, we spend most of that time talking about the movies and TV shows we have been watching as we're both big film buffs. My girlfriend called me out on not talking about much important stuff when I saw him recently and I had to explain that all that time just ends up being taken up by movie talk.
We don’t purposefully avoid the other stuff, that’s just the way it turns out.
4. Men Can Like to Be Affectionate Too!
I was in an eight-year relationship with a girlfriend who wasn't a huge fan of cuddling. I woke up one night to find she was spooning me. It felt really nice, because she rarely did it, if ever. I asked her if she could do it more often and told her it made me feel really nice. She said probably not. I'm glad we broke up.
3. Corroborating the Experience
Almost every night and at least every Friday night I essentially cry myself to sleep. Having to deal with everything being thrown at me and succeeding 100% of the time is freaking stressful, and you can't show weakness or just break down so you just take it and go on. I'm in a long distance relationship and I don't have the support someone can expect from a significant other under normal circumstances. It's just so hard.
2. A Battle Being Fought On All Fronts
Being the police in the house after getting back from work. Walking into a situation that seems to be about homework but really it’s about something else, having to control the emotions of the wife and kids while thinking still about work. Mess up the police duty by being too heavy-handed or light when one or both sides of the fight ends up attacking me.
Take their anger and walk upstairs to sit in the dark. You can really start to shake.
1. Girls, If We Open Up to You, Consider Yourself Special
Honestly the day I learned that my girl was a keeper and I'd be a fool to let her go was when I just broke down in front of her one day. It was one of those days, walking to work four miles in the pouring down rain, family issues, roommate skipped out on me leaving me holding the bag for the rent that I can't afford, like just one of those moments where I couldn’t help feeling like the universe was out to get me and I was just in an “I hate everything” mood.
She picked me up from work, took one look at me, and immediately hugged me and said "It'll be okay" and in that moment I was like a ten-year-old all over again. I just completely broke down and cried like a little child. I've never felt closer to anyone in my life, and her acceptance and lack of judgment of any kind to my episode really opened my eyes.
Life has gotten better since then, I'm in a better place, and I plan on asking her to marry me sometime soon.
Sources: Reddit
