Whether by nature or nurture, there is no question that men and women have developed some major differences from one another over time. What makes sense to one is often a total mystery to the other, and vice versa. It’s no surprise then that when men were asked to share some “secrets” about being a guy that women were probably not aware of, plenty of funny, interesting, and insightful tidbits were shared.
What is surprising though, is that this topic got some men to open up to such a deep level that likely no one would have ever predicted it. So take the journey with us and see, in all its brutally honest detail, what man have revealed about their secret realities that women don’t know.
1. X-Men? More Like X-Women!
My mutant power is a single long forehead hair that emerges about once every six months. Pretty much exactly between my left eyebrow and my hairline. Haven't found a way to use this to fight crime yet, but there's always time…
2. Some Struggles Are Best Fought in Private
Do most girls leave their tampons in while pooping and peeing!? I always removed and replaced mine with a fresh one any time I went to the bathroom. I was paranoid that pee would get on the string and get absorbed until it hit the cotton and entered my vagina, causing an infection. I didn't want to somehow get a gross or dirty tampon either. If I planned on drinking (and therefore peeing a lot) I'd wear a pad instead so I wouldn't have to mess around too much with a tampon.
Is this not normal procedure? Or did you just drunkenly forget? Genuinely confused.
3. Movies and Sports Trump All Else
This happened to me recently. I don’t see one of my closest friends as often anymore and when we do catch up, we spend most of that time talking about the movies and TV shows we have been watching as we're both big film buffs. My girlfriend called me out on not talking about much important stuff when I saw him recently and I had to explain that all that time just ends up being taken up by movie talk.
We don’t purposefully avoid the other stuff, that’s just the way it turns out.
4. Men Can Like to Be Affectionate Too!
I was in an eight-year relationship with a girlfriend who wasn't a huge fan of cuddling. I woke up one night to find she was spooning me. It felt really nice, because she rarely did it, if ever. I asked her if she could do it more often and told her it made me feel really nice. She said probably not. I'm glad we broke up.
4. Hair, Hair, Hair, Hair, Everybody, Everywhere
The weird stray hairs on your chin, neck, cheek. I had one on my neck that I never knew about until recently. I tweezed it off, and it was about 3 inches long. How did I not see this before?!
5. One Hair Is All It Takes
I get an occasional hair in one spot on my cheek...it's always one single hair and usually blonde for some reason (every other hair on my body is nearly black) and it always just springs out of nowhere a solid three or four inches. It's a mystery, but I swear it’s not just me not noticing it. It literally just shows up out of nowhere every now and again!!!
Now that I think about it, I also recall an occasional long blonde hair springing out of my right eyebrow every now and again, far longer than any of my eyebrow hairs ever manage to get.
6. Wait, You Do What Now?
Late to the party, but...some of us women shave our toes.
7. Apparently, Some Guys Are in on the Secrets
I do pluck my chin hairs too! It's a secret from practically everyone I know except my boyfriend oddly enough. Sometimes I get frustrated at not being able to get one or two of the hairs and hand the tweezers over to him and he'll do it for me. I have no idea how I lucked out with such a non-judgmental-about-body-hair dude.
8. Brush Your Teeth, Wash Your Face, Pluck Your Chin Whiskers
Plucking my chin whiskers is a daily secret ritual. It’s one of the few grooming things I WILL NOT reveal to my bf.
9. Who Knew Women Had Such a Fun Secret Hobby?
OMG plucking out my little body hairs is so satisfying. My hair is really thick and dark and I have a hormone problem so I get them on my chin a lot. I spend so much time every day plucking my chin and eyebrows and honestly, it's one of my favorite daily rituals. That feeling when you finally get out a stubborn hair...oh man.
10. The Time It Was Not So Secret
This reminds of me the time I stupidly pointed out a girl’s mustache before, kill me now.
At the dinner table with about 7 other family members, I turned to my cousin and said to her "I didn't know girls could have a mustache!," being the idiot 6-year-old I was. She immediately got up to go cry in the bathroom I still cringe.
We laugh about it now about 15 years later, but she was mortified, I was completely embarrassed learning that it's not okay to point that out. That's one of my "keeps me up at night cringing" stories, haha.
11. Not All Body Hair Is Bad Body Hair
Men are so hot when they yawn and stretch or reach for something high up and their shirts come up a little bit and you can see their stomachs and their happy trail.
12. Lend a Helping Hand
He does something, like clean the snow off my car without mentioning it, I fall deeper in love.
13. Oh Yea, I Keep Forgetting There’s Also This Thing Called a Brain
Being knowledgeable, but not in an arrogant or boring way, about something they’re interested in and willing to share their thoughts on the subject.
Although some of you guys are joking, most of these topics sound interesting. I enjoy hearing about history, new anime, and I am a gamer so in the right situation you never know. And who doesn't want to hear about the tragedy of Dank Meme the Wise?
14. Possibly the Most Important Secret Ever Revealed...
I frequently have snacks in my purse. I don't tell anybody because I don't want to share.
15. Everyone Has Their Own Real Struggles
I think it's not often addressed that guys, just like girls, also deal with their fair share of insecurities, body dysmorphia, and pressures from society to act and look a certain way. It's just that openly talking about it and dealing with those emotions is seen as more shameful and is, therefore, less accepted.
16. Slow Down There, Fella!
We get erections all the time. And no most of them are not sexual in nature, we just get them. Randomly waking up at night? With one of them of course. Innocently waiting in the waiting room for your doctor’s appointment? Boom, another one! Middle of a serious office meeting? Guess what, out of nowhere! It's not always sexual.
17. The Pressure is Real
We’re scared to break down. Sometimes when it feels like the whole world is on your shoulders, it’s scarier to think what would happen if you asked for help and no one knew what to do rather than asking for help at all. I miss being a kid.
18. Sounds Pretty Rough
I have endometriosis, and I pass out from extreme pain. But it's okay, I am mostly already on the bathroom floor, naked (or just in undies), because I have been having hot and cold shivers on a 15-second alternate cycle for a while at that point, so when I wake up I just crawl/walk to bed and collapse again. Periods are savage, but being able to share this made me feel better.
19. Tricks of the Trade
I went on birth control a few years ago to control migraines. (Also didn’t want to get pregnant but ya know). Oh my god it’s the best thing in the world. Super light periods to the point where I can wear a liner and my period lasts for maybe 1.5 days. No cramps, no heavy days, no discomfort. Never going back!
20. The Last Stop on a Long Train of Responsibility
All the stress wears on your psychological and emotional well being. I have two young kids and their mother to support, and that is stressful enough by itself. Add in dealing with people at work who often have the emotional control of toddlers, parents who feel they can rely on you to prop them up financially—because apparently being irresponsible with money is OK if you are over 50 years old now (?) and a wife who has flashes of irresponsibility.
It really wears you down. If you are there to support everyone else—who can you turn to?
21. All Work and No Play Makes Jack a Dull Boy
Oof. Yeah. I'm a workhorse, have been doing 13 days of 8+ hours of work recently. How hardworking I am is always brought up. I don't get sick and my body rarely gets beat up or tired. I'm 31 and freaking terrified of my body getting old. I'm nothing if not strong as the first qualifier. I can’t let myself break down, I’d probably just die if so...
22. High Expectations From Your Peers
When I was a kid I got called "monkey toes" by another girl because I used my feet to pick stuff up a lot and I have noticeable hair on my toes. That sparked some self-consciousness, not helped in the least by my sister pointing out how "hairy" they are when I was about 15.
Nair was definitely used on them for a while there, before I realized that if someone cares so much about the hair levels on my toes that they wouldn't want to be with me because of it, then I probably don't want to be with them in the first place.
23. Up, Down, and All Around
Sometimes when you sneeze up there, you will also sneeze "down there."
24. Your Secret Is Safe With Me
Some of us even shave our knuckles, too. We're beasts but no one can ever know.
25. The True Face of Facial Hair
Except for when we’re pooping, my husband and I often consolidate bathroom time, and one evening before bed, he was peeing and I was plucking embarrassingly long (but mercifully blond) hairs from my chin, and he noticed and launched into an anecdote about the World Beard Championship, about which he had recently read, and how there were even women competing. He thought it was awesome that women would rock their facial hair enough to enter it into a beard competition.
I turned from the mirror and fixed him with an icy glare, but he wasn’t picking up what I was putting down, and I had to tell him how much I didn’t enjoy hearing that story just then.
He apologized immediately but didn’t get why I was upset about it until I reminded him of the time I (completely boneheadedly) told him that if he let his beard grow longer, he’d be just the perfect Santa Claus, which really hurt his feelings even though I had meant it as a compliment. At that point, he got it and has never even obliquely mentioned my facial hair (or any other woman’s) ever again.
26. They’re Called Secrets for a Reason, Guys
If it makes you feel any better, after my divorce, I met a guy and about the third time we’d gotten together, he started pointing out the flaws of my body. I don’t think it was negging, exactly, nor did he seem to mean it unkindly. It was like, “Aw, your dimply thighs are so cute and I love your poochy belly!” And then he went on to tell me how much he adored my mustache and he actually ran his finger over my top lip, I guess to demonstrate, just in case I wasn’t aware of my own peach fuzz. And this guy was in his thirties. I didn’t see him again and he didn’t understand why. So if the last time you pointed out a girl's mustache you were just a dumb kid and not a grown man making a total fool of himself in front of someone he liked, at least you’ve got that going for you!
27. A Struggle That a Man Can Never Understand
In middle school, my Physical Education coach got super mad at me once because I wasn't doing heavily-weighted leg presses like I usually could, because I was on my period, and she just kept yelling at me to "PUSH! PUSH!" and wouldn't let up and all of the other students were noticing bc she was yelling so loudly so I had to add more and more weight and I almost shot my tampon straight out.
I noped out of there so hard. I just ran to the bathroom and repaired the damage. It was half in, half out, but that was a terrifying experience as a 13-year-old, and obviously something I have never forgotten.
28. Death Threats Probably Mean Something Isn't Working
If I am on the street, just don't approach me. Period. I live downtown and I have received death threats after engaging with strangers.
Make your introduction light, and if she's not feeling it after a couple of seconds, wish her a good day and leave. If you are engaged with a woman for at least 30 seconds and she’s not feeling it, I guarantee she has thought of an exit strategy already.
Give her space to talk so if she does want to leave, she doesn't have to wait for you to finish speaking or interrupt you.
Just giving a woman freedom to leave a situation makes a huge difference really.
29. It’s Partnership, Not Ownership
If we accept, don't act like you own us once we've gone on a date. Jerk behavior at best and terrifying at worst.
30. No Physical Contact
A stranger shouldn't be placing his hand on your lower back, putting his hand on your shoulder, grabbing your hand, anything. Obviously people know groping and feeling people up is gross and totally uncalled for, but I think some don't realize that any physical contact from a stranger is unwarranted and unnecessary.
31. Three Words: Location, Location, Location
Wait until you're in a place where it's appropriate. Bar, coffee shop if she doesn't have headphones in or is reading. Ask if you can join her. Talk about something interesting.
32. Play It Cool
I am a gym rat but some guy friends will confide which girl they like but don’t know how to approach her. I say: “Ask her to take a pic or take a video of you doing a workout. Right after, tell her thanks and ask for her name. Remember to introduce yourself. Don’t keep talking but in the days after, wave to her and smile but don’t stare. Don’t try to talk to her everyday. She’ll know your intentions and then you’ll be creepy. Keep it casual and then she will enjoy seeing you and you can ask her out.”
33. Heed the Warning Signs
Headphones are the universal sign of "Leave me alone," not "Follow me around the gym and talk to me when I don't have anywhere to go."
34. Keep It Simple, Stupid!
If this is someone you see regularly, smile. If she returns the smile, say hi.
Let the conversation flow.
Do take a hint if she's not interested.
35. Always Quit While You’re Ahead
Whether she is someone you see frequently or not I suggest being short and sweet. Obviously get to know her a little so you're not complete strangers, but you should give that no more than 5-10 min and leave it off with asking for her number and then proceed to text her the next day and ask her out if you still want to. Don't ask her anything super personal but find out what she likes to do around town and use that as a way to help you ask her out.
From my experience, I get so annoyed when a guy just won’t leave and basically turns our first time we meet into a date, so definitely don't overstay your welcome.
36. Say What You Mean and Mean What You Say
A typical next line I often hear after a rejection is "well, would you like to be friends?" This is absolutely fine, but you have to mean it. I've had a lot of friends say things like this and then be surprised when, six months later, they are still only friends with that person. You can't say that with the hopes that they will change their mind, because it isn't fair.
37. To Each Their Own
Nobody's going to be everybody's cup of tea. People have types, and orientations, and things they find cute or ugly or hot or boring or endearing or disgusting, both physically and personality-wise.
A friend of mine got married a few years ago; her husband is, to me, fairly significantly ugly, and has several personal habits that I wouldn't want anything to do with, and as far as I can tell, has a personality like a bump on a log. She, on the other hand, finds him attractive and charming and doesn't mind those habits or is willing to overlook them, and is clearly pleased with the personal rapport she has with him so apparently something works there. He would be no good for me whatsoever, but he's amazing for her.
People aren't interchangeable and most of them aren't one-size-fits-all. Moreover, they know their own wants and needs and inclinations in a way that the person asking them out isn't privy to. Sometimes it's going to be an "I don't want to date this person" for whatever reason, and even the most conventionally-attractive or socially-adept person around is going to be someone's "meh" that they pass over on their way to swooning over someone else entirely.
It's like puzzle pieces, sort of. If two puzzle pieces from across the puzzle don't fit together, it doesn't mean that one of them is better than the other or out of the other's league, it just means they don't fit together.
38. Test the Waters out Before Jumping in
Be friendly and engage in at least minimal small talk before asking her out, for her number, etc. Literally asking 2 seconds into the conversation can be weird, because even if we know your intent right away, you haven't given us any time to feel out the situation and feel comfortable.
39. I’m Not Telling You, I’m Asking You
Don't be demanding. Just ask if she is interested, and do not be forceful about it if she rejects you.
40. Know Your Audience
Go in understanding that some women don't like being approached by strangers, period. You might be good looking, funny, and friendly, and she still might be uncomfortable or uninterested.
41. Act Naturally
I know this is hard to execute in practice, but just don't be too weird about it. Don't treat her like a foreign species or a piece of meat, just like a normal person.
42. What’s Going on Behind the Scenes
The guys I remember the most fondly had very casual conversation starters and transitioned smoothly into asking my name. Don’t start with “Hey, I’m so and so” or “What’s your name?” It catches me so off guard.
Try mentioning something that doesn’t have to do with her specifically. When you approach me, I’m trying to assess the situation, determine if you’re dangerous, examine my surroundings, and figure out what your intentions are. I don’t want to be doing all of this while answering questions about myself, even if it’s just my name.
Also, read that body language. Make a little eye contact and smile. And then read her body language and make sure she’s not already creeped out or on guard.
For instance, if you’re in line at Target or something, smile and read her body language. Then mention something about your surroundings or the store: “I always come in here for a specific thing and end up leaving with 30 things I didn’t need and forget the one thing I came here for.” Every girl at Target can sympathize with that. If she doesn’t say anything, don’t push it. She’s not into it. If she seems good with the conversation, just make small talk in line and then give her your number.
43. Don’t Be That Ridiculous, Fellas
NEVER FOLLOW HER OR WAIT FOR HER IN THE PARKING LOT. That is creepy. We are constantly told how dangerous parking lots are so you immediately come off as a threat.
44. Take Things One Step at a Time
Don't approach them as someone you are interested in, approach them as someone you want to make friends with. Start with "hello" or a wave, and then try making a friend. If you don't want to make a friend, you are not worth getting to know.
45. There’s More to Her Than Meets the Eye
Striking up a conversation about a mutual interest sometimes works. The thing is you have to be genuine. Strange guys approach single women all the freakin' time and feign interest when the real message is, you're good enough; I'd do you.
Take an interest in her personality, in her tastes. Relate to her as a human being. She may shut you out for any of a thousand reasons and she doesn't owe you an explanation, but once in a while a woman might decide that you seem fun and interesting.
That being said, women tend to be less on guard when there's an introduction through mutual friends or if the two of you belong to the same club.
46. Plot Twist
I'm going to assume in my answer that part of the question is whether or not you know she's into women, since it's someone you don't know. And that's the double whammy. It's not only "is she into me?" it's also "is she sapphic, or just being nice?" (the age-old question).
My friends and I have a running joke that "I like your haircut" is queer women's code for "I like girls, specifically you. Do you like girls, specifically me?" A lot of us also flag in some small way or another - like, maybe she's got a rainbow pin on her bag or something like that. I am very visibly queer, but I still get flirted with a lot more when I'm literally wearing a certain shirt.
I try to basically treat women the way I wish men treated me. I know that as a broad-shouldered butch who takes up a lot of space, I can come across as intimidating sometimes, but I'm also a smiley dork with chipmunk cheeks. So I rarely flirt with women I don't know in public anyway, but if I do, I give her a ton of outs - like, I might make eye contact, look away, look back a few seconds later to see if she's doing the same thing.
If not, or she turns her back, clearly she's not into it. If she is, maybe we do that a couple of times and then maybe I smile at her and see if she smiles back. It takes forever, but it's totally worth it when you're nervous and awkward like me.
Personally, I don't usually just ask someone for their number or whatever; it'll be more like "oh hey, you're into jiu-jitsu? I'm into jiu-jitsu! Have you ever been to the open mat at [whatever venue]? If not, do you want some arm candy sometime?" Like, this is just me, but I prefer to have a specific thing I'm gonna be texting them about rather than just doing it for the sake of talking. But that's purely my preference - I'm more into "Do you wanna do X thing?" than "I'm attracted to you."
I do, however, love it when women are not at all subtle sometimes - one time, I was on the train, and it was super, super packed and I couldn't reach any of the handrails so I was glancing around looking nervous that I was gonna fall and take somebody out. This cute femme looks me up and down, grins, and just goes, "You can hold onto me if you want!" I said, "Really?" and she was like "Yeah!" and held out her arm so I wouldn't fall over. I think the fact that she was a lot smaller and, for lack of a better term, girlier made that more comfortable - she clearly didn't find me intimidating or anything like that, heh.
47. Graceful in Defeat
If they say “No thanks, I’m not interested,” keep it short with something like “no worries, i wish you all the best” or “sorry to bother you, hope you have a good day” if she seems annoyed.
When I told a random guy I had a boyfriend, he said “oh man, well tell him he’s a lucky guy” and then didn’t press the issue, which was sweet and makes me look back on that encounter and smile (whereas I usually get anxious and on guard when men approach me).
The biggest thing is to never make her say no twice, and take the rejection with grace because there are some seriously scary guys out there making the pickup environment harder for everyone. Any attitude you throw after being rejected doesn’t make me feel like I screwed up, it confirms I just dodged a bullet.
48. A Little Bit of Judgement
I would add to be aware of your situation. At a party or a popular bar where people go to meet others is the perfect environment to approach a woman directly - meaning, chat her up a bit and if you click, exchange info or keep flirting and take it from there. However if you are at work, taking a yoga class, volunteering at Habitat for Humanity, etc. the situation is different.
This is not to say avoid meeting women this way, just don't treat the interactions the same way. Just introduce yourself and make conversation. If this is a recurring thing like a class, take it slow, take a few rounds 'til you ask her out. If it's a one-off, just say, "I really liked talking to you, here is my information if you want to grab a coffee and talk some time." This sounds vague, but that's intentional, it's not a date, but more like a pre-date where you can get together in the proper situation where flirting might be welcome.
49. Don't Fence Me in
As a barista myself, a tip to the guys is if you find a worker attractive maybe try to frequent their place of work if you live nearby to get a better feel for the situation rather than hit on them explicitly. It’s very awkward to feel trapped when someone is asking you out when the awkwardness could have been avoided if you already started to make a small talk relationship. It comes more natural.
50. The Whole Shebang
When they smirk or pass a half smile.
When they're considerate or thoughtful about small things, especially if it's with someone they don't need to impress.
And when guys try to drive safely and calmly. Speeding or driving aggressively just to show off is such a turn off.
51. Is the Smile Half Full, Or Half Empty?
Half smiles. I don’t know why. But yeah.
52. Getting a Tad Scientific, Are We Now?
When they are sweet to kids or pets. It's just biology, I guess!
53. That’s Some Serious Thread Inception
The fact that they don't know they are doing something sexy.
54. To Each Their Own
What about doing donuts in the snowy empty parking lot because sliding around is fun…
55. Men Aren't Always the Ones Who Grow Facial Hair
Ha! I was in the grocery store with my two eldest kids, who were then toddlers, and we passed in the aisle this very statuesque woman with a lush, luxurious mustache, which my daughter then loudly inquired about. “MOMMY, WHY DOES THAT BIG GIANT LADY HAVE SUCH A BIG GIANT MUSTACHE?” I don’t think I’ve ever wanted to die as much as I did at that moment. Kids are, um, really fun sometimes.
56. Let’s Just Clear up This Mis-Conception Right Here and Now
Lots of women don't primarily take anti-conception pills because they have sex and don't want to get pregnant, but for various health reasons, e.g. severe acne, passing out from blood loss during period, etc.
57. That’s What I Call a Double Standard
I've often wondered why shaving legs is a lot more prevalent than shaving arms.
A lot of women I know have visible hair on their arms, but almost all shave their legs.
Not that I mind the hair on the arms, it doesn't bother me. And unless a woman is capable of the full-on Chewbacca legs commonly seen on Mediterranean men, I don't mind some hair on their legs, either. I'm just curious about why it's important to shave one set of limbs, but not the other.
58. Can Anyone Here Relate to This?
So I asked my husband to deposit a cheque into our joint account because I was busy with work yesterday. For some reason, it didn't come out, so we had to call our bank to find out why.
When he was asked for his card number, he was saying it so precisely and I was surprised he had it memorized. I was just staring at him and found that incredibly hot. I kind of mumbled "that was hot..." and he was like, "what?" I said, "nothing..." and looked away. LOL!
59. Step On a Crack, Break Your Wife’s Back
I was breaking up the sidewalk in my yard with a sledgehammer. My wife confessed to trying to get as many glances of my sweaty hard labor as she could.
She could only steal glances because we have 3 small kids and they otherwise were preventing her from just setting up a lawn chair and getting all hot and bothered. If my wife finds something I do sexy I will gladly do it for hours. I love her so much.
60. Circle of Life
For some reason it’s like sex hormones build up at night for me (a woman). I used to r** one out every morning. Then I got married and got to have sex in the mornings. Then I had kids and rarely got to do either. Then I got Rheumatoid Arthritis and can barely move in the mornings. Such is life.
61. Subconscious Is the Best Kind of Conscious
Run their fingers through their hair. Especially when they’re doing it subconsciously, like while thinking, or after working out to get the sweat off their forehead. Hnnng…
62. The Human Body Works in Mysterious Ways
One time in high school we were writing a test. I was struggling with the test, so decided to zone out and stare at my hand, as one who is struggling on a test naturally does. Anyways, I notice a hair resting on my hand—below the first knuckle of my pointer finger, near my thumb. I go to sweep it away, and it doesn’t move. How weird. I try again—and then I realize this extremely long strand of hair is attached to my hand. It is a hair I have grown. It was long and black (I have light brown hair) and I kid you not, the length of my entire thumb. I pulled it out and it hurt.
The weirdest part is the day before, whilst studying for said test, I was staring at that hand. There were no creepy long hairs to be seen. That single hair had to have grown speedy quick, because I stared at that hand every day for basically every day of high school and never saw it before.
63. The All Important Halftime Huddle
My friends and I in college would always use the restroom as sort of a half-time team meetup spot throughout the night.
“How are you feeling? Do you think you’re too drunk? Are you cool with that guy dancing on you? Are we leaving separately or together?”
That sort of stuff was always asked.
64. Let’s Set the Record Straight on This One
I play with my boobs when I'm by myself...like a stress ball when I have a tough problem to crack at work.
65. Don’t Go Stretching the Facts
Stretching, especially when lying down. God yes, show off those muscles!
Also, I have a really strong urge to jump my boyfriend's bones immediately after he gets out of the shower. I'm not sure why, since it's not like he has hygiene issues or something. He's generally pretty clean all the time unless it's very warm out and he's been stuck in traffic.
66. Every Girl’s Crazy ‘Bout a Sharp Dressed Man
Wearing a suit well. Joseph Gordon-Levitt is a sexy b**ch because he won't stop wearing suits and he looks darn good in them. If I saw him and he wasn't wearing a suit, I'd be thoroughly uninterested—no offense, Joseph!
67. PETA and the Humane Society Will Love This Girl
When I see my husband gently tending to our pet rabbits it's so freaking hot. Like when he has one in his lap, is lifting up their front with one hand, and giving them a light washcloth wipe down if they got a little dirty UNF. It's the best sight. So…kindness to animals?
68. The Shoulder Is Definitely the Spot
When they’re letting you know they’re squeezing through a crowd by touching your shoulder or the small of your back.
Personally, I don’t mind when a man passing by in a crowd does this to me, but that’s not to say everyone is cool with that. Do this to your lady and your lady only to avoid upsetting anyone.
This is, after all, a personal preference. Something I PERSONALLY find sexy. I am not demanding anyone else to like it. If you don’t like being touched there, then no, this isn’t a sexy gesture for you. Most of the time, in my experience, this is just something guys do to move past me in a crowd. This is not a grope. This is not a butt grab. It’s an “excuse me, squeezing through” with a light hand on the small of my back or shoulder while they move past.
69. The Tough Side Comes Out
My wife recently mentioned that it got her riled up to watch me discipline our son. Not physically or anything, but sitting him down and explaining to him that if he knocked things off a coffee table he had to pick them up, and stood there until he put everything back the way it was. She said it was "super hot." Was a good night.
70. It’s The Little Things That Really Make a Difference
Smell good. I don't even mean wear cologne—just don't stink. The smell of my husband's deodorant—even after a long day—can do it for me.
71. Starting the Day Off On the Right Foot
My wife is all over me in the morning when I stink, my hair is disheveled, and I am yawning and trying to wake up.
I prefer to be bathed and groomed before I feel sexy... but hey.
Her favorite thing is to put her face in my chest hair when I stretch.
72. Music to Some People’s Ears
My Significant Other is a firefighter and I've been conditioned to the sound of his Velcro belt being ripped open...so Velcro does it for me apparently.
73. When It Comes to Wardrobe, Keep It Simple Stupid!
Wearing a plain black T-shirt. No idea why, but man do I love my husband in a plain black tee.
Those of you who asked about what dandruff shampoo my husband uses, the answer is, he doesn't have dandruff. Sorry dandruff sufferers :(
74. Aww, That’s Actually Pretty Sweet
Honestly, being supportive. Whenever I'm having a bad day or worried about something my boyfriend is always there for me telling me that everything will be fine or just letting me vent to him. Even when I'm in a bad mood I get a little turned on, lol…
75. It’s Not the Action Itself, It’s the Message It Sends
That hand at the small of your back though. I love that, it's a sign he's aware of you in proximity to himself and wants to make sure you stay together.
Apparently, it needs to be said that you do not do this to strangers. Do it for your girl, she will melt. Don't do it to a stranger, that's creepy.
76. Would a Moan By Other Name Smell Just As Sweet?
I moaned my girlfriend at the time's name during one of the first few times we were sleeping together and she just stopped dead, shivered and giggled. I asked her what was up.
"You moaned my name..."
"It was really freaking hot"
"Well, you'll be glad to know you're probably going to hear that semi-regularly then..."
77. This Sounds Like an Awesome Relationship
When he washes his hair. When he is being a pest and has this sh*t-eating grin and giggles. When I'm being a pest and he gets this grin that just says, "You're gonna get it if you keep this up." When he whispers in my ear... Oh god my panties hit the ground so hard and he doesn't even have to be whispering anything sexy! When he rides his motorcycle. When he wears a suit. When he is asleep and he reaches out for me and squishes us together. When I'm sick or hurting and he takes care of me. When he is dancing like a loon just because he can. When he gets insanely excited for something and gets really passionate about it.
78. Whisper Sweet Somethings in Their Ears
The first time he told me he loved me, we were at a crowded place on a busy room. He was hugging me and whispered into my ears that he had fallen in love with me. It was the most erotic thing I have ever heard. Panties evaporated. Niagara Falls. It was glorious.
79. There's Still Hope, Fellas
To you chunkier guys that are about to ask "does this still apply even if I've got a bit of a tummy?" Yes, some women really like that. I personally don't, but I'm not all women. I fall on the opposite end of the spectrum, where skinny guys get all my love. Not beefy, not super fit. Skinny. Women go for all sorts. Same goes for the amount of tummy hair.
80. Make Some Noise
Moaning. Guys are usually pretty quiet during sex, so any noise that lets us know you're actually enjoying yourself is really exciting.
81. I Guess Laughter Really Is the Best Medicine
Laugh. Ugh, something about unbridled laughter is amazing.
82. Umm, I Think That One is Probably Just Your Friends…
Maybe not everyone does this, but most of my friends that have grown out their beard and cut it off have made the Hitler 'stache while shaving—only for a few moments though.
83. Variety is the Spice of Life
Being the little spoon is also nice!
84. Girls Don’t Always Share Our Sense of Humor...
My favorite is after hanging out with my guy friends and my girlfriend gives me the, "Tell me what you were talking about!" and I say, "Nah, you won't find it funny." She then gets grumpy and insists that I tell her, so I finally relent and tell it all. I then promptly receive a 20-minute lecture on why we are gross and unfunny.
85. Gossip Works a Little Differently With Guys…
Typically, our version of gossip will be a collection of things we've heard from sources that come up unexpectedly. Like you're just talking about Jane's butt, right, and how she’s been going to the gym, and then the other guys will jump in and be like yeah but she banged Tyson and Tyson is kind of flabby so then you're just like, holy crap I didn't know that was her type,
I'm never going to get on that then. It's passive conversation that doesn't appear as gossip while you're chatting but yet casually addresses a whole lot about a bunch of people’s sex lives.
86. It’s All About the Societal Expectations
From the get-go, we're taught that boys don’t cry and that they stick it out regardless of circumstance. To show any weakness, emotion, or ask for help is an affront to our masculinity. It takes a LOT for guys to ask for help—double so for psychological and emotional help.
87. A Little Compliment Goes a Long Way
So right now I’m working on getting a bit bigger in order to fill myself out more and I went out for dinner one time and a girl friend I hadn’t seen in a month said “Oh my gosh, look at the size of your arms. Have you been working out?” Not sure why, but I think these compliments mean more because the body takes a lot more work to make look good than the face which also boils down to just the cards you’ve been dealt in life.
Or as my friend put it, “Because if she noticed your body, you know she properly analyzed you up and down and thought you looked good.”
88. Guys Truly Are Capable of Communicating Like This
Here’s a relevant board game for guys, it’s called “Dude.” Dude is a game where you say "dude." The word "dude" appears on each card in one of six different ways, with 12 dooode cards, 12 dewd cards, 12 dude cards, 12 dude? cards, 12 tiny dude cards, and 12 tie-dyed dude cards. The goal is to quickly find matches for as many of your cards as you can.
To play, you say the word "dude" as you think it should be said, based on how it appears on your card. At the same time, listen to how the other players are saying the word "dude." Trying to figure out whether you have the same card as another player is the essence of dude. And no, this is not a joke. This game actually exists and can be found online. How cool is that!
89. A Sound is Worth a Thousand Words
I was told by a girl from a dating app the other day she was offended when I called her dude. Before she said this, it had never, in my life, crossed my mind that girls might not want to be called dude in casual conversation.
90. The Real Fear in Showing Emotion
Most people, but especially women, lose respect when a man shows excessive weakness like that. Not all women, but definitely the majority from my experience. Men just learn to never show it. It never works out well for us.
91. A Show About Nothing, All Day Every Day
If a guy goes out with other guys, chances are when he says that they "talked about nothing," they actually did talk about nothing interesting. No gossip, no “How's the family,” it just tends to be talking about some sort of shared interest or hobby and a lot of banter, and when you ask him I can almost guarantee that he remembers almost none of the content of the five-hour conversation they've been having.
92. The Cold, Hard Truth
We can be ferocious animals, but at heart, most of us are just cuddly Pooh bears who want to be understood.
93. There Has Never Been a More Impressive Talent Than This
When pissing in the middle of the night our echolocation is increased tenfold and we have the ability to know where the piss stream is hitting in complete darkness.
94. A Comprehensive Linguistic Guide to Guy Talk
In the interpretation of the word "dude," several factors must be taken into consideration:
Tone: Tone is one of the most critical factors in the communication of "dude." While shallow interpretations such as "happy" or "sad" can work, the more specific you get ("congratulatory," "critical"), the lesser your need to employ any of the following factors to interpret the "dude."
Direction: This refers to both the direction in which the speaker is pointing/looking. For instance, if he is pointing at a news story on a television screen, it is highly likely that the "dude" is intended as a comment on said news story. This hence affords you clues as to the meaning of the "dude."
Subject Matter: "Subject matter" refers to the topic or issue of which the "dude" is a comment on. Examples of this include the subject of conversation at the time of the "dude," or a video or movie you are watching.
95. You’ve All Got the Magic Touch
Guys like being touched. I like it when a lady keeps her hand on my thigh when we're driving, or rubbing my head when we're lying on the couch. Pretty much just any contact. My wife is the opposite and it sucks sometimes.
96. A Little TMI for Some of Us...
We don’t need any special mood, candles, or music for sexual arousal. Usually, it happens because we were scratching ourselves anyway.
97. This One is So Rough, It Might Make You Tear Up a Bit...
Straight up, there are definitely things we feel like we can’t do no matter how much we might need to do them. And like, crying is a major issue for most of us. I don't know about you guys but I literally cannot cry even when I'm faced with a lot of issues. It kinda sucks cause it's healthy to cry but now I've forgotten what it's like and I'm almost scared to cry because people may think I'm weak. It's weird.
98. Reiterating the Point
This so much. I don't even know how many times I have just endured all that nonsense and stress and cried alone when night comes instead of just asking for help.
99. Ladies, We Really Don’t Get You Sometimes
On multiple occasions, I've been grilled for information by my wife after hanging out with friends. It usually starts when I give her a piece of info that came up that I know she'd want to know. There will inevitably be some line of follow-up questioning she wants answers to, and never understands how or why I didn't find the rest of it out.
It ends with some variation of: "Why didn't you ask [about the other question she wants answered]?" "I don't know; I guess it just didn't come up." "Well then, what did you talk about?" "I don't know, but not that." "Ugh! You're useless!" Honestly, I'm not trying to be difficult. It's just never something(s) that feels necessary to ask at the moment.
I guess it's the adult version of kids telling their parents they did "nothing" at school.
100. Despite Appearances, We Have a Lot on Our Shoulders Sometimes
After busting my backside taking all sorts of night courses after my day job and studying for all this accreditation, I finally landed not one but a second interview at my dream job. I got a message the other day that I've been rejected from it. At the same time, the person at my day job who has been here for three months quit, leaving us to be two members understaffed for a year now.
And just today, the only person other than me who can drive in my family, my dad, lost his driver's license, and I don't think he will be able to acquire another one despite the fact that he's had a clean driving record for over 40 years. This all happened in the span of two days. It's really hard not to break down sometimes.
I just did, and I'm currently in my car, away from people, because even during your absolute worst, you're still pressured to never show it in front of anyone. It can truly suck.
101. Men Will Truly Appreciate a Supportive Shoulder to Cry On
Why do men think they can't turn to someone? Is it the idea that men are supposed to be "strong" and crying is a pansy thing? I would be more than happy to let my boyfriend lean on me and have me listen. He can ugly cry for as long as he wants. You're human. It doesn't make you "less of a man" if you need a good cry or feel stressed out and need to take a load off.
Jesus, you poor guys! I can't imagine breaking up with my boyfriend because he broke down. If you need a cry, just cry! Screw everyone who thinks less of you. If she's going to leave you over that, she's a bad person. You deserve someone who's going to be there to see you through whatever you're going through. That's what a relationship is about. I don't easily cry in front of people, but I'd feel confident that my boyfriend would be there for me if I did it in front of him.
You put your trust in someone to support you and help you and they freaking leave? That makes me livid. I hope that my boyfriend trusts me enough and feels comfortable enough to cry in front of me if he needs to. It makes you just wanna say I hate people.
102. A Lot More Insecurities Than One Would Suspect
For a lot of the same reasons as this other stuff, a lot of people have body image issues, or sex hangups. That stuff unfortunately tends to start getting programmed in at such a young age and its way beyond “think about and decide against,” it’s more “never even crossed your mind until you break down.”
103. Stuck With the Raw End of Some Double Standards
There are many scenarios in which men are not given the same sympathy or cut the same slack by society as women typically are. For an example, perhaps create a mental example of common status updates on social media, especially Facebook. A lady might complain about her boyfriend, her boss, her job, any little thing.
I routinely see such things get about 70 or more likes and like 30 comments. If a guy were to complain about a relationship, it's likely to be assumed he's the one at fault. There will be like 3 likes, at most. A guy posting “I'm so lonely” will get zero traction, and if anything will likely get him some strange looks and a reputation as a weirdo.
It only has to happen once or twice to get the message. I was a homeless hippie for a while, after being pushed by some lady friends for a decade to “Surrender to the abundance of the universe” and “Stop being such a control freak.” Spend a little bit of time as a broke and homeless man and you'll get a clear example of how much people are willing to help men.
I once tried to hitchhike from a spot for an entire 24 hours. Never did once get a ride, and ended up walking.
104. We’re All Human, But Some Are Relying on Men to Be Less So
It's more of an effort for other people in my experience. I've only cried in front of my mates once (that was due to a friend dying) and it was only for a little bit even then. When I was at a funeral, my own mother called me her "Rock" because I'm always staying strong and being there with them, instead of breaking down like everyone else.
The only times when I cry is, ironically, when something happens and I'm scared of what will happen if I start to cry (the stress of all that gets to be too much). And even then, I really only cry in private.
105. Sometimes Just the Thought Is Enough to Make a Real Difference
I've had a rough couple weeks and have felt like I had to break down a lot recently. Those that could tell that I was in pain and came up to me to ask if they could help really made all the difference some days. There's nothing they could do, but just to feel their empathy helped me feel a bit better and get through it all.
106. Ignorance Isn't Bliss
Seriously, can this post become a sticky somewhere on some sub? I'm happily married, but when I was single I was terrified of approaching women and avoided doing so because I thought they didn't like when guys did that. Sexual misconduct needs to be brought to attention, and men need to be educated on what is appropriate behavior with regard to interacting with women. I can tell you right now that SOME men legitimately don't know any better when it comes to respecting women. Bravo to OP for posting this.
107. Know Where You Are
Approach her in a place where she won't feel like she's being cornered. Other people around, casual setting, etc. An empty train car probably isn't your best bet.
108. There’s No Easy Way to Say This But...
I have this conversation over and over again with my girlfriend. She expects an update on each of my friend’s lives. Sorry, but we were discussing politics, football, a bit of gossiping about all of our girlfriends, and that's about it. I don't know if my buddy likes his new job. If he wanted to talk about it, he would’ve.
109. Harmless Yet Effective Ways of Dealing With Stress
Sometimes when I get stressed and like to mentally go back to a better place to cope with it all, I will do some things that I used to do when I was a kid. Who cares what anyone thinks if they see me playing in some rain and mud, or what they would think if I was watching DuckTales in front of them. There are far worse ways to deal with stress.
110. Longing for A Simpler Time
I'm just barely into beginning my time in college and I already want to go back to being a young, carefree teenager. Adult life for a guy is harder than you would think.
111. Feeling of Helplessness
All of these issues people are talking about are made worse especially when you know, or at least think you know, that no one knows actually what they're doing anyway, and that's there's no answer, so instead you just end up asking the question, reveal how much you've been hurting, and nothing changes, nothing gets solved, people just suffer knowing you're suffering.
112. Corroborating the Experience
Almost every night and at least every Friday night I essentially cry myself to sleep. Having to deal with everything being thrown at me and succeeding 100% of the time is freaking stressful, and you can't show weakness or just break down so you just take it and go on. I'm in a long distance relationship and I don't have the support someone can expect from a significant other under normal circumstances. It's just so hard.
113. A Battle Being Fought On All Fronts
Being the police in the house after getting back from work. Walking into a situation that seems to be about homework but really it’s about something else, having to control the emotions of the wife and kids while thinking still about work. Mess up the police duty by being too heavy-handed or light when one or both sides of the fight ends up attacking me.
Take their anger and walk upstairs to sit in the dark. You can really start to shake.
114. Girls, If We Open Up to You, Consider Yourself Special
Honestly the day I learned that my girl was a keeper and I'd be a fool to let her go was when I just broke down in front of her one day. It was one of those days, walking to work four miles in the pouring down rain, family issues, roommate skipped out on me leaving me holding the bag for the rent that I can't afford, like just one of those moments where I couldn’t help feeling like the universe was out to get me and I was just in an “I hate everything” mood.
She picked me up from work, took one look at me, and immediately hugged me and said "It'll be okay" and in that moment I was like a ten-year-old all over again. I just completely broke down and cried like a little child. I've never felt closer to anyone in my life, and her acceptance and lack of judgment of any kind to my episode really opened my eyes.
Life has gotten better since then, I'm in a better place, and I plan on asking her to marry me sometime soon.