Incredibly Satisfying Instant Karma

Life is unfair. At least, that’s how it feels most of the time. But occasionally, we get a glimpse that maybe—just maybe—there’s a higher power watching over us. I haven’t seen any miracles, but I’ve definitely seen jerks get absolute destroyed by instant karma, and for me? That’s basically just as good.


1. Caught In A Speed Bump

I was in the passing lane on the highway, slowly coming up on a couple of cars in the right lane. The speed limit was about to decrease ahead, and another vehicle came up behind me, going pretty fast. Instead of gassing it to get ahead of the traffic to my right, I slowed down and pulled into the right lane while the other car behind me was right on my tail.

Once I got into the right lane, the car floored it and passed me, honking their horn. The passenger’s body was half out of the car window yelling at me and flipping me off as they passed. But they had no idea what hit them. It turned out that the car I pulled in behind was an unmarked state trooper who promptly pulled them over. Justice was served.

yesidumbx100

2. Just Rewards

Before we were married, I was out to dinner with my wife and her dad. At the end of dinner, my father-in-law offered to pay for the meal. My wife asked to get her leftovers boxed to take them home. Her father was being difficult and started in on her, saying, “Well, you’ll just leave them in the fridge, then they’ll just get thrown out, blah blah.”

I told him, “Listen, it’s not your fridge. Leave her alone.” He got mad and yelled, “Don’t tell me how to raise my daughter!” I yelled back at him not to speak to her in his nasty tone. As a result, he threw the bill at me and said, “FINE! YOU PAY THEN,” and stormed out. We were all mad at that point, and my wife said, “Why did you have to start something??”

I paid the bill and was waiting for the receipt, but we were waiting for quite some time. Tensions were rising. Her dad was waiting outside, building up steam. I asked the waiter, “Can I just get our bill and go?” They replied, “Oh no, sir, you have to wait for the manager.” That’s when I learned the beautiful, satisfying truth.

It turned out they had a contest running where every bill was a winner or some prize or another. Usually, people would win a free drink or appetizer. However, we had just won the GRAND PRIZE that dinner—which was a trip for four to Florida. And here’s the kicker: Whoever pays gets the prize. Because her dad stormed out like a child, I had won it.

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3. Target Practice

When I was six years old, I was on the bus with my older brother coming home from soccer practice. We were seated at the back, right next to the big rear window. For some odd reason, I thought it would be funny to show the traffic behind us all the angles of my middle finger while staring at them with the most obnoxious facial expressions.

I would wait until the bus got to a stop and proceeded to do my thing when the bus shut its door and accelerated away. I was getting bored since most people would just ignore me and the reactions weren’t as amusing as I thought they were going to be. I decided my game needed more thrill. Instead of flipping off oncoming traffic, my main target changed to pedestrians. This instantly turned into an enormous mistake. 

The bus got to a stop, picked up the waiting people, and I had found my new target—a very buff man. As I heard the noise of the doors closing, I proceeded to show him both of my fingers and stuck out my tongue. This guy, however, didn’t think it was all that funny. He sprinted alongside the bus, matching its speed for at least a block until the bus arrived at the next stop.

The bus was not that full, but the people in it witnessed this big chunk of rage giving chase and getting on to the bus. I cowered behind my brother, who had been oblivious to my shenanigans. I was in tears. The guy ended up being pretty cool about it and just told me not to do it again. He even gave me a piece of bubblegum afterward.

basketfullofkittens

4. Big Rig Rumble

It was raining out. I was coming onto a freeway with my big rig, signaling and smoothly switching lanes while keeping an eye on a car behind me that had been crowding me. As soon as he hit the merge ramp, he gunned it in an attempt to pass me, cutting into the no-drive zone. The problem was that my cab was 60 feet ahead of him, as I had already begun to merge.

Half of my rig was occupying the lane he wanted. Once this guy realized he couldn’t pass me, he flipped out. He screeched so hard back into his lane that I felt the road tremble. He began blaring his horn and flashing his lights. I was just cruising along, totally calm. I was watching the traffic in my driver-side mirror, and when I saw a break, I knew what was coming.

This guy jerked into the left lane, floored it, and got beside my cab, honking the whole way. He swerved at me and then cut me off. He jerked into place in front of me, jammed his brakes—and then it all unraveled. He completely lost control of his vehicle. It was suddenly sideways at 45mph. I was nowhere near him, having already slowed down.

His car continued to spin until it was facing me, then it whipped back forward and headed straight into the ditch. It plowed the earth like a farm tool in front of all of us there on the freeway. I stopped. The left lane stopped.  We just watched as this guy slowly got out of his car, which looked pretty damaged. Other drivers got out to help, and some were on their phones. I just geared up out of there nice and calm. It was instant karma.

ohfail

5. It Was Smoothie Sailing

I suffered from insomnia. One morning, when I couldn’t sleep, I went to the convenience store at about 6:30 AM. On the way out, I saw a homeless guy who I had seen around the city for years.  As usual, he was begging for change. I didn’t mind helping this guy out because he wouldn’t spend the money on anything bad; he legitimately needed food.

So, I went back in and bought him a couple of hamburgers and gave them to him. I proceeded to the smoothie shop, which opened at 7 am. I parked my car and opened the door. When I looked down, I saw a fresh $20 bill on the white line of the parking spot. Then, when I came back out of the smoothie shop, as I approached my car, I found yet ANOTHER $20 in the exact location. I checked my pocket, and the first one was still in there.

mappberg

6. Disheveled Do-Gooder

My infant son couldn’t sleep one day, so we walked to my local supermarket to get some basics and blow off steam. I looked terrible. I was sleep-deprived, grumpy, disheveled, and unkempt, just like any other new parent. My son was in a sling on my belly. As I was checking out, the woman behind me stepped forward and said, “Please let me pay for this. I’ve always wanted to help out in this way.”

Despite my appearance, I was pretty well off, but she wanted this. I didn’t have very much to buy, so I graciously thanked her and walked out, both of us smiling. My son finally fell asleep, so I just loitered about.  I eventually noticed someone trying in vain to start their car—it was the lovely young woman who “helped” me out. I was a decent mechanic and happened to be toting a multi-tool around with me. I was able to get her car running in no time at all. It felt awesome.

ohfail

7. It Was A Sign

I was a cart boy for a grocery store back in high school. One afternoon it was pouring rain out and terribly windy. A new black Escalade pulled up next to me while I pushed about 10 carts. The guy got out and yelled at me, saying I better not scratch his truck because “Heads will roll.” I wasn’t in any way endangering his new car, but he proceeded to yell and warn me. And then *it* happened. 

Just as he finished yelling at me, the sign from the pizzeria next door crashed into the side of his truck. That made my night a little better, even if I was soaked.

cluelesspuma

8. An Up Lifting Experience

I worked in a building with 10 floors. I was on the fifth. I was coming back to the lobby from lunch and in a hurry. I had just pressed the button to go up, and the elevator immediately opened. Before I stepped in, I noticed someone coming up the stairs about 30 feet away. I usually wait for stragglers to boost my elevator karma, you know.

As this person approached, I noticed she was fairly attractive and close to my age. She, too, was in a hurry and asked me if a specific company was in the building—she was running late for an interview. At this point, I realized she was not just attractive; she was gorgeous. I pressed the button for her floor. She asked me if I worked at that company as well since I hadn’t pushed the button to my floor yet.

I told her, “No, but since you’re late, we’ll get you there first, then I’ll go back down to five.” She was very appreciative. We got to her floor, she gathered herself…and realized that she had forgotten her phone. She was supposed to call when she got there, so she asked if she could use my phone.  I happily obliged.  She said, “You were a great help. Thank you so much!”

I decided to go for it and replied, “No problem! Let me know how it goes.” She smiled and said, “I sure will,” and proceeded to tap away at my phone. She handed it back, smiled again, and walked away. She had programmed her name and number into my phone. For a guy who NEVER gets the girl, I was elated. The number worked, and we met up for a date.

Alamodome

9. A Minor Annoyance Had A Major Payoff

One night, we went out with my uncle and his family for dinner at a nice restaurant. There were seven of us eating, and we were all drinking red. This increasingly belligerent guy from the bar kept coming up to our table and making conversation, commenting on how awesome my six-month-old son was, etc.  By the end of the night, he was getting annoying, and my uncle was discussing whether or not he should say something.

We told him, “No, don’t worry about it. He is just having a good time and seems like a good guy.” So when it came time to pay our bill, the waiter just said, “Have a nice evening. Thanks for coming in.” My uncle and I were confused and asked the waiter about the check. His answer stunned me. He told us that the guy who kept coming up to us had paid our tab.

The server told us that it was already done and that the guy would do this all the time. Our bill was $1,500. My uncle sought the guy out and gave him a big hug. The guy just said, “You have such a beautiful family. Pay it forward sometime.” He had even tipped the waiter some crazy amount from the look the waiter gave us. So, I learned always to be nice. You never know who is a millionaire.

spickett84

10. Hat’s Off

I was out with my girlfriend at a late-night movie when I spotted another older couple walking. The guy had a long coat, cane, sunglasses at night, and a bowler-type hat. The wind was blowing hard. All of a sudden, I watched this guy’s hat fly off his head and into the street. He didn’t seem to mind and just kept on walking. I began chasing the hat just for fun and to be helpful.

I brought the hat back to the guy and he said, “Thanks, brother,” to which I replied, “No problem, man. I just like chasing stuff.” He went in for a handshake, and I felt something in his hand. I wasn’t sure if he had just handed me a business card or something. I walked away with my girlfriend. Once we got in our car, I turned to her and said, “That guy just gave me this.” I unfolded a crisp $100 bill. It was the easiest $100 I ever made.

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11. Can’t Stop Me Now

This guy in a huge SUV was riding my tail at the speed limit down a steep snowy hill in the right lane. Our cars were about to hit a light about to turn in fewer than 15 seconds. That’s when he made a fatal mistake. The guy decided to change lanes and floor it. Right when the light was about to turn red, he slowed down.

Well, he slid through the red light. He clipped the rear of a tractor-trailer then crashed into one of the traffic lights. The best part was that there were officers driving behind us the whole time who witnessed the guy weaving through traffic and speeding at twice the speed limit, trying to make an impossible light. What an idiot.

khrak

12. Close Seconds

I was a hair’s length away from crashing after getting cut off in a roundabout. But it escalated quickly. Minutes later, another guy cut off the guy who had cut me. This started a road rage battle of them trying to cut the other off, and I got caught in the middle of all of the action. A kid was in one of the cars, so I called 9-1-1.

It didn’t look like the situation was going to end well. Luckily, there was an unmarked patrol car a few cars ahead of me who couldn’t see what had been happening. He heard the report on his radio and slowed down to let traffic pass. The officer pulled over the first guy, and a few miles down, the second jerk was pulled over. It was soooo satisfying.

liz-to-the-e-witches

13. Sure Crossed Me

Where I live, one of the main roads is usually two lanes. But over the winter, the right lane was blocked for a new sewer pipe installment, and as a result, there was a new reduced speed limit to 15 MPH. I was driving this limit when some woman in a car got behind me and started waving her arms and flashing her lights. She flipped me off as she passed before stepping on the gas.

But she accelerated right in front of an officer parked in front of the elementary school. It was a school day, which meant the fine was hefty.

MrDuck

14. Room For One

Once, a high school girl was driving behind me, honking and flashing her lights in an apparent protest of my slow speed. As soon as the road became two lanes, she stepped on it to pass me all the while flipping me off. 30 seconds later, I saw that her car was pulled over. An officer stopped her in an active school zone. She saw me as I slowed down to pass her, and I blew her a kiss.

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15. Calling For Back Up

I was driving in my hometown after dropping my girlfriend at home. I stopped behind a truck at a stop sign. There was a dirt road leading to a trailer park right before the stop sign, and it seemed to me like he’d missed that turn. This is where it all went wrong. Rather than turn around, he reversed into me, which made his hitch go through my bumper.

He then decided that he was going to take off. Usually, people write down the person’s license plate, but that night, that wasn’t me. Instead, I decided to chase him down. My car was in better condition than his beat-up truck, so I was close on him during our 7-minute chase. That was when an officer saw us. But this wasn’t just any officer, it was Officer Bird.

Bird was one of my leaders at cadets who became a good friend. I thought he was the coolest officer I’d ever met. And before I moved, he used his sirens to pull me over sometimes just to scare me, then have a chat. Well, we were driving over twice the speed limit and were very hard not to notice. Plus Officer Bird had recognized my car. But then the best thing happened.

He pulled next to me, made eye contact, and nodded. So, I eased off my gas to let him in my lane and he pulled over the truck. After detaining the driver, I told Bird what had happened. The driver admitted to it and was taken in.

Nightwing3

16. I Exceeded My Tipping Point

I was working at a bar. As I was on my way in one Thursday night, I saw a guy standing by the road with a sign that said something like, “Far from home, no place to sleep, and hungry.” I waved him over and gave him $5, the only cash I had, and told him to take care of himself. I usually took home about $5 in tips on Thursdays and $10 on a good day.

That day, three separate people won big on the slot machines, and each gave me $20 tips.  I ended up taking home about $75 in tips.

nyerinohio

17. A Totally Car-mic Experience

When I was 16, I lived out of my car because I couldn’t get an apartment since no one would rent to a 16-year-old. It was an old beater, and I had to push start it everywhere. I had just pulled into Walmart to buy some decent clothes, and there was a purse in the basket of the cart next to mine. When opened it, I couldn’t believe my eyes.

Inside the wallet was a thousand dollars in cash, several credit cards, and an ID. I soo wanted to spend it, and I was going to. So, I grabbed the cash and put the purse back in the cart. Except when I was paying for my clothes, I just couldn’t bring myself to pay with the money I had taken. So, I paid with mine and went back to my car. The purse was still there, so I put the money back in and looked at the address.

It was right down the road, but it took me about an hour to find. When I finally got there, I parked in the street. The lady was standing in her garage next to her nice new car, in a fancy neighborhood, on the phone, canceling her credit cards. I walked up and asked if she had lost her purse. I was pretty rough-looking, and I could tell she was a bit nervous.

So I handed it to her and told her I had to open it to find her address. She didn’t say anything, and I got in my car and left. I was disappointed because it seemed she didn’t appreciate it. I went on to where I worked, and where I would stay in my car. The next day before my shift, I woke up went to McDonald’s to get breakfast.

I got to work. Then I noticed something strange. I saw the same lady leaving. I thought, “That wasn’t her, just coincidence.” When I went inside, the parts for my car were there, $100, and a note saying thanks. I was confused. I couldn’t figure out how she knew what parts I needed or even where I worked. But it was actually so simple.

A few days before, I had gone over what I needed for my car, along with the number to the parts store, and wrote it down on the back of a pay stub.  When I got out by her house, this paper came out of my car. After I left, she picked it up. When she realized all her money was in her purse, she went down and picked up the parts and dropped them off for me.

It was the nicest thing anyone had ever done. I got about $300 worth of parts and $100 cash. The good feeling I had for weeks was worth way more than the money I would have made if I had kept it all.

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18. This Was The Tops

I used to deliver pizzas. One day, I was taking redelivery for an order that was wrong the first time. I was going to the worst hotel in our delivery area. The redelivery was a single, one-topping medium pizza. I pulled up, and a guy said he needed some cash for a tow truck. He gave me the typical sob story. Usually, I wouldn’t give in to those things, but for some reason, this guy’s story seemed plausible.

I cut him off and asked him how much cash he needed. He told me seven dollars, so I gave it to him. He ran back to the gas station, and I didn’t see him again. I went to deliver my pizza. I ran up the stairs to the hotel room, gave them their replacement pizza, apologized for the first mistake, and left. As I was walking away, the guy came out and said, “Oh wait, we forgot to give you a tip.”

Any tip on redelivery is a win, so I hustled back to the room. The guy handed me a $50 bill and told me to have a good night.

WhiteLightEcho

19. Karma Sealed This Deal

At one point in my life, I sold furniture and was terrible at it. Since I worked solely on commission, I barely made any money.  Often, I had nothing left after paying rent and bills and wouldn’t eat for days because I couldn’t afford to. One day, I was trying to sell furniture and sold nothing, so I had made $0. An old couple came in and was looking at TV stands.

All the other sales reps avoided them. We all knew that they would take up a bunch of time and end up buying something for around $100.00, so the commission was going to be $2.00. There would be no add-ons because no one in their right mind would purchase a $29.99 extended warranty on a $100.00 item. But I came up with a plan.

I figured I had nothing to lose if I helped them, and perhaps my luck would turn around. They ended up buying two stands but couldn’t put them together themselves because they were old.  There was a service I could have referred them to for a fee, but I was desperate and didn’t want to lose the sale, especially after having spent around 45 minutes with them.

So, I told them, “I’m off at 9:00 pm. If you come to pick me up, I’ll come set up the stands for you for free.” They took the offer, paid for the furniture, and left. The other sales reps laughed at me. The old couple picked me up promptly at 9:00 pm. I loaded the boxes into their trunk. As we drove to their house, I found out that he was a retired judge and she had always been a housewife.

We got into their beautiful condo, and I began assembling the furniture. I could smell food cooking and tried to ignore it, but I hadn’t eaten in about three days at that point, so it was hard. I worked for almost three hours straight. I then moved the finished product into position and moved their TVs for them. It was close to midnight, and I was trying to excuse myself from their home politely.

The old lady grabbed me and took me to the kitchen. She sat me down and pulled out a plate of freshly made roast beef. That was better than any money. I was so grateful. I held back tears as I ate the delicious home-cooked meal. It was now after 12:30 am. I thanked them again for all that they had done for me. But it wasn’t even over yet. 

I was about to leave to find my way home by bus, but the old man stopped me and offered me a ride home. The lady packaged up the rest of the roast beef and told me to keep the Tupperware. They both came for the ride, and I couldn’t stop thanking them for helping me. As the car stopped and I got out, I thanked them one more time. Then the lady handed me an envelope.

I didn’t open it, just thanked them. I happily went up to my apartment, knowing that I would sleep with a full stomach that night and that I would get to eat for the next few days. I was feeling great. I opened the envelope and burst into tears. There was a thank you card with $100 inside. After that, for the rest of the time that I sold furniture, I always ran to help the people nobody else wanted to.

I changed my focus from getting a big sale every day to getting all of the small ones nobody cared about, and it got me through until I got a better-paying job.

ScottRockview

20. The Universe Paid Us Back

I was at Walmart, and the lady in front of me was buying a bag of dry beans and some baby food. She didn’t have enough money in her food stamps account. I said, “Let me buy that for you.” I was a little annoyed at the cashier because when I said that, the cashier remarked, “You don’t have to do that. She gets more money tomorrow. She can come back then and buy it.”

I didn’t care if she could go back the next day. She was obviously buying food for her family, and they may need it that night. The next day, my wife got a job offer that would give her a significant raise over what she was currently making, solving our own financial problems. The two events may not be related, but it was close enough for me to think that something else was at work there.

effnnc

21. We Curried A Favor With Karma

One night, my sister, my now-ex, my friend, and I decided to go for some curry. Since it was late, we called up the curry house to make sure they were ok with us coming down. The owner answered and said it would be no problem. As soon as we got there, we were greeted by the owner and were seated. However, it quickly became pretty obvious that the guy serving us didn’t want to be there.

We brushed it off. It went from bad to worse. He then started throwing our plates down and was being obnoxious, so we had a quiet word with the owner. Well, he proceeded to be even ruder, but we couldn’t do much. We left the restaurant and shrugged the whole thing off. As we were driving back home, though, I saw the server driving behind me, right on my tail.

He must have seen me get into my car and decided to follow me. He pulled up beside me when I was stopped at some traffic lights. He was swearing and showing me a rather impressive display of hand gestures. We ignored it, but I admit he was starting to aggravate me. The lights changed green, and he sped off like a lunatic, trying to run me off the road and swerving all over.

Sadly, he failed to notice the cruiser that had pulled up behind me at the lights, so on went the lights and the sirens. They pulled him over and booked him right then and there. We glided off into the distance, barely able to contain the euphoria from the instant karma. I never saw him at the curry house again. I assume he got fired!

SeriouslyDave

22. Stick In The Mud

When I was about eight years old, my family visited some friends one day after church. They lived on a farm, so one of their kids and I went out to look at the cows. I was dressed in my Sunday best, so I was careful not to get all muddy. The other kid noticed and grabbed a stick that was lying on the ground that had some muck on the end of it.

He started chasing me around, threatening to wipe it all over me. He finally cornered me against some fencing and was about to throw the stick at me when I saw their huge golden retriever sprinting towards him from behind. At the last second, he raised the stick above his head, and the dog, trying to get it, leaped in and full-on tackled him. He landed face-first in a mud patch, and I ran away.

IrritableGourmet

23. Dog Day Afternoon

One day while I was driving down the highway, I saw this HUGE poster about a lost dog. About 20 miles down the road, the little dog from the poster ran out in front of my car. Luckily, I was able to stop in enough time. I picked it up and took it back to the owner’s house. They were so happy, and I was so happy for them. When I went to get back into my car, it stalled and wouldn’t start.

It was an old car, and the engine was done. It turned out that their daughter had just graduated college and was looking to sell her car. In return for their dog, they gave me the car for free.

pusher91

24. Karma Shut Me Down

I used to work as tech support for a college campus. There were classrooms with motion sensors connected to the lights. So if there was no one in the room, the lights would shut down. A professor came into our office and told us the classroom didn’t have working lights. I instantly knew what had happened. The light switch was on, but the motion sensor turned them off.

When she flipped the switch, she turned the lights off instead of on. I bought a soda on the way to the classroom and hit the lights. They turned on. I went to the room where she was temporarily teaching her class and told her, “The lights are on in the room.” She asked me how I turned them on, to which I smugly replied, “I just flipped the switch.”

Her entire class started laughing. I paid for my rudeness instantly. Feeling full of myself, I turned around and opened the soda I got from the vending machine. It burst and sprayed my face and shirt with Dr. Pepper.

mattigus

25. It Was A Christmas Miracle

When my brother and I were kids, there was a Christmas when our family didn’t have enough money to buy us presents, food, or decorations. Some distant relatives sent my brother and me $50 each. We gave the money to our parents so that they could buy a tree and Christmas dinner. We had accepted that we wouldn’t get presents, and that was fine.

We went outside to play in the snow. While rolling the base to a snowman, I noticed something sticking out of the snowball and plucked it out. It was a $100 bill. We went to the neighbor and asked if she had lost it. She told us that indeed she had. She commended us on being noble and returning the money, then allowed us to keep it. She also handed me a Christmas card for my parents. In the card was another $100, so we could get presents that year.

dieflamingoes

26. Grand Slam

This idiot who harasses me because I’m a bit of an outcast in my high school said something awful me today: “The only reason why you’re here is because your grandma was a hoe who gave birth to a hoe mother!” Well, my grandmother passed yesterday. But I got my revenge. The principal overheard her, and now she can’t walk on graduation.

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27. T-Bonehead

I was stopped at a red light waiting to turn right. I couldn’t see if there was any traffic coming because of how the intersection was set up and there was a bus in the left-turn lane, so I was just waiting for a green. The person behind me clearly wanted me to turn because she was honking, yelling, and giving me the finger. After a couple of seconds, she decided to drive around me…and was immediately T-boned.

mopedophile

28. Late Vacation

As the low man on the totem pole at work, I got to do all of the grunt labor and random tasks that required working on weekends and such. I was a master engineer working in a 9-5 job, but being paid less than a pizza delivery driver. Then it got even worse. My boss decided that I no longer got compensation time, so basically I was working overtime all the time.

The reason behind this was that I was salaried and “it was part of the job.” Well, I found a brutal way to get back at them. When I quit to go get my PhD, they realized that I hadn’t used any vacation time at all. This ultra-penny pincher had to write me a check for two extra months’ worth of pay as I walked out the door. Never have I tasted a sweeter payday.

Pizzadude

29. I Oughta Wash Your Mouth out

I used to be a zookeeper. This idiot was making fun of our llama for looking ugly. The llama was a rescue who had corrective jaw surgery. She was not ugly, she was adorable. Yet the rude woman pointed and laughed at our llama. In return, the llama spat right in her mouth. I gave the llama a treat and told her that she was a good girl.

MyNameIsNotRyn

30. Watch and Learn

My stepdad is a driving instructor. I went to get my license pretty late in the game, when I was 22 years old. One day, he was giving me a lesson and we were going over one of the possible courses that the test takes. While we’re driving down a street in the suburbs, a guy is tailgating the life out of me, and he’s a really scary looking dude.

Every time I come to a stop sign, I do a full stop, obviously. When I do, he throws his hands in the air and yells. It’s starting to stress me out, but my stepdad comes up with an ingenious plan. He says, “Don’t worry about it, watch this.” As we’re going down the street, he says, “Okay, now in about 50 feet I want you to start slowing down a little bit and right when you are in front of that school zone, pull over to the right.”

So I do it. Right after I pull over, the scary-looking, furious guy takes off from behind me like a speeding bullet. Aaaannd about five seconds later, a patrol car pulls out from behind a tree and waves him over for going probably double the speed limit in a school zone. We laughed. Hard. Don’t tussle with the driving instructor.

ZombiGrinder

31. That’s The Ticket!

One day, I was about to get on a bus. The guy in front of me wasn’t moving onto the bus, and I quickly realized he was frantically searching for his wallet. After a few moments had passed, I finally piped up and offered him two bus tickets. He clearly had a problem accepting charity, but he took the tickets and thanked me profusely.

He promised me that I would see the tickets again. About six months later, I was about to get off the bus at the opposite side of the city when I felt someone tap me on the shoulder. I turned around, and the person who tapped me asked if I remembered him. I thought about it for a second, hoping that he wasn’t some friend of my dad’s that I had met and forgotten about.

Once he saw that I clearly did not remember him, he told me that I had given him bus tickets a while back, and he was repaying me. He gave me two bus tickets and promptly got off the bus. Those two tickets are still in a hidden pocket of my wallet. I’m saving them for the next time I see someone who has forgotten their wallet and needs them.

cajj

32. My Car Ran On Kismet

I had just finished grocery shopping. I loaded the bags in my car, got in, and turned the key—nothing. For whatever reason, my car wouldn’t start. I sat there for another 20 minutes, checking the wires on my battery, making sure everything was properly in place. I had just changed the battery the month prior, so it couldn’t have been that.

I called my girl to pick me up. She said it was going to be about another 20 minutes. I saw an elderly lady pushing a cart to her car. This cart had four times more bags than mine did. I knew it was going to be a struggle for her. I went over and offered her help. She accepted. I helped her load the groceries into her car and went back to give my vehicle another try. Surprisingly, it started. My first thought was, “This car must run on karma.”

Ih8YourCat

33. This Good Deed Suited Me Well

I was in line at Wendy’s when a gentleman realized he had misplaced his wallet. He ran to and from his car, very flustered. He jumped on the phone with his wife to have her look for it and drive to Wendy’s. While he wasn’t paying attention, I had stepped in front of him and paid the $8 for his food. We were both obviously on our lunch breaks, so I felt bad.

The guy insisted that I don’t buy his meal, but I told him it was too late. I patted him on the shoulder and said, “Pay it forward,” with a smile. He approached my table and told me that was one of the nicest things he had ever witnessed. He then told me to come across the street to his tailor shop after work. He gave me a custom $800 suit.

Permalink

34.  The Universe Took Them For A Ride

When I was about 20, I was standing at a bus stop waiting for the bus. The street I was on had a little bit of construction going on, and there were some orange barricades set up down the middle of the road. They were made of metal and had a yellow flashing light on top. As I was standing there, I saw a Porsche convertible coming down the street with three guys about my age inside.

As they got closer, I could see them looking at me and talking to each other. The car began to slow down. I knew at this point I was in trouble. I knew that they were going to do something stupid. Sure enough, as they passed, they all turned in my direction and, on cue, yelled something rude at me as they passed. Unfortunately for the driver, karma was quick.

As he turned his head to yell at me, he swerved his car to the left, hitting several of the metal pylons and tearing up the driver’s side of what I could only assume was his father’s car. Correction: His father’s very, very nice car. Needless to say, the idiot sped off from me in a great hurry. I spent the rest of my day in a surprisingly great mood!

weshallrise

35. A Good Start To The New Year

I was walking home with my friend after a pretty tame New Year’s Eve party. My friend and I hit a fork in the road where our houses were in different directions, so we said our goodbyes and I carried on for the 10-minute walk home. A minute later, I turned a corner onto an empty street, and as soon as I did, two young guys wearing all black raced around the corner behind me.

They slowed down a few feet behind me and started following me, so I crossed the street and began to walk fast. I turned around 15 seconds later, and it seemed as if I had put a good bit of distance between us, so I thought I was in the clear. I kept walking for another 20 seconds and heard a weird noise. I turned around just in time to see a fist coming towards my face.

I dodged it. The first dude put his dukes up and screamed at me unintelligibly, and the other started creeping at me from the other side, trying to back me into a corner. I decided to run. I dashed off right between them, and they started chasing me down the street. One was yelling to the other, “You better catch him!” We came to a main road.

Two cars were coming in opposite directions, perfectly timed for me to run between them and leave the muggers on the other side of the street. I kept running for another three solid minutes at a panicked pace and got a block away from my home. I tried to make sure they didn’t follow me to my house. There was no sign of them. As I was leaning over to catch my breath, I looked down. On the pavement sat two £20 notes folded up. It was unbelievable.

adventurrre

36. Jim Wasn’t So Dandy

When I was 18,  a group of friends and I spent a long weekend at my buddy’s place in the Adirondacks. We split our time between his grandparents’ house, which was up on a hill, where we had our meals and where we showered, and a cabin right on the lake where we did our drinking. There were eight of us in all, but Tom and Jim were the most memorable.

Tom was relatively new to our circle of friends, somewhat awkward, but generally a nice guy. Jim was the opposite. He was immature, hotheaded, self-conscious, and selfish. The only reason he was there was that he had been friends with my buddy since birth. Jim was constantly belittling Tom to assert his dominance in an otherwise non-existent hierarchy.

One Saturday, after lunch, someone suggested beer pong in the cabin. We were all in. Impatient as always, Jim went railing down the hill to the cabin ahead of us, screaming, “I GOT FIRST GAME! I GOT FIRST GAME!” The rest of us followed casually behind. When he reached the bottom of the hill, he took a bounding step onto the front bumper of Tom’s green little Ford.

We suddenly heard an extremely unsettling crunch. He had driven his foot through the car’s windshield. Then, his forward momentum propelled him to take a fourth and final step, ripping his leg back out through the windshield. He collapsed onto the roof, screaming in pain. The image of leg hair trapped in the spider web of shattered glass and the gash on Jim’s leg will forever be instant karma for me.

Stolen_Elephants

37.  Karmic Cupid

When I was in university, I dated this girl for about a month, and things were not going well. She was gorgeous. However, she was also a moron. So, I was hedging my bets. One day she came to my place after a night of partying and asked to go to a movie. I said, “Sure,” and away we went. While walking to the cinema, we started having another enormous argument, and I decided to end it right then and there—so I did. I instantly regretted it. 

She would not accept it and kept fighting with me until she finally walked away in tears. Immediately afterward, I called my best friend and asked if he wanted to get some drinks because of the unfortunate day I had just had. When I hung up, I saw the date—it was Valentine’s day. I hadn’t even realized it. I sighed and started walking to my friend’s place, feeling like a fool. Then I got hit by a bus. It wasn’t serious, but it hurt.

SlyLikeAFox7

38. I Got The Stamp Of Approval

When I was in college, I used to volunteer at homeless shelters and soup kitchens. After volunteering for some time, I got to know many of the guests that came in. So, one day my girlfriend and I were getting frozen yogurt downtown when a homeless woman that I had gotten to know walked in. She was timid and usually kept to herself, so I kept my distance but acknowledged her by saying hi and asking how she was.

She seemed happy to see me, and we had a small chat. At the end of it, I offered to buy her frozen yogurt. I knew she had the means to buy it, but I thought if I could save her some money, she could spend it on something else another day. She respectfully declined. I then went to pay for my girlfriend’s yogurt and asked the cashier if I could pay for the homeless woman’s as well without her knowing.

Since you would pay by weight, I just told the cashier to double the weight of my girlfriend’s food since that should have been a good estimate of how much the homeless woman would get. The cashier gave me the biggest smile. I paid for both, and she asked me if I had a stamp card. I did not. The cashier then took out a stamp card and stamped it ten times right then, which gave me 16 ounces of frozen yogurt for free. She handed me the card, thanked me for what I did, and told me to have a great day.

mariobat

39. My Fate Was Fixed

I was driving through my neighborhood and saw a man running in his pajamas with a gas can in his hand.  So, I stopped and asked if he wanted a ride to wherever his car was stalled. He climbed in my car and explained that his kid needed to be at school, his wife needed a ride to work, and unfortunately, someone had taken all the gas out of their car the night before.

He also told me that my right tail light was out and that he owned a car shop. Later that day, I took my car into his shop, and he fixed the tail light and other minor problems for free.

spaceflag

40. If You Wish It, It Will Come

My girlfriend said she was feeling very sick and asked me to go to her place. I was a poor college student and had just enough money to get to her place, but not enough for the bus fare to get to my finals the next day. Still, she said she needed me, so I went, thinking I could ask her parents for a loan. The next morning, I was already at the bus stop when I remembered I had no money.

There was no time to go back. I just stood there for a minute thinking. Then a bill large enough to pay my fares for the month slapped against my leg. There was no one else around as far as the eye could see. Even though I was an atheist, I had to look upwards that day—just to check.

7sigma

41. Give Me A Brake

During rush hour, the average speed in the middle lane is 75-80 MPH. Anyone driving under 80 avoided the left lane as trucks liked to ride their tails. That morning, I was in the left going 70 with heavy traffic and all lanes moving at the same speed. I looked in my rear view and saw a two-seater car coming at me fast. I knew just what to do to mess with him. 

I took my foot off the gas to just coast, which made the guy even more frustrated. He switched to the middle lane, cutting someone off, then he cut me off to get in front of me. I had a feeling that he was going to slam his brakes in vengeance so braced myself by stepping on the brakes. He was now almost in my lane at an angle.

That was when he decided to stomp on his brakes. His car skidded across all three lanes, and somehow no one hit him. When he went off the right shoulder, I watched his car roll in my rearview mirror. I got off at the next exit…to turn to see a trooper already there with the guy sitting next to his wrecked car.

LBORBAH

42. It Takes Two

I was driving on the highway in the fast lane beside an officer doing the “unofficial” higher speed limit and matching him. The car on the other side of his car was doing the same, so traffic was steady behind us as everyone usually drives the same speed around that section of highway. Suddenly, some junky car appeared.

He rode my tail for a little while before merging in the High Occupancy Vehicle Lane and accelerating. Only cars with more than one person can enter this lane at certain points, and we weren’t passing an entrance. And he was alone. I looked to the officer who smiled, nodded, and flipped his lights to go after the jerk. Serves him right.

Conte

43. Double Checked

I was driving a rental car in stop and go traffic in the left lane when I heard horns and squealing tires. I looked to see a pickup about to hit back of the car. It missed, as I tried to keep a car’s length between me and the car. After that, the driver leaned out his window and made rude gestures while yelling at me for some reason.

We moved a little then came to a stop. I checked the rear view mirror right as he rammed the back of my car. He then backed up and hit me a few more times while other cars scattered to the roadside. I started to pull over, and he blew past me, giving me the finger. I tried to get a plate number, but it was out-of-state so I had no dice.

This was before cell phones, so I decided that I was going to follow him. I found him swerving in and out of traffic and the shoulder to get away from me. He took the next exit, and I followed as he zoomed through a parking lot, almost hitting a car with a young woman and her baby in a car seat inside. He just drove away again.

I stopped to help the woman and waited for officers to arrive as a witness used a payphone to call the auhtorities. After they arrived, they took down information and statements but told me that they couldn’t do much with an out-of-state plate. The rental company replaced the car, and I was more vigilant while driving after that.

electronicat

44. Driving Out The Problem

My girlfriend and I live in a dry county and have to drive across the state line whenever we want to buy any drinks. While there, this guy was just trashed and making a scene because he couldn’t get any service. By then, I was on my way back to the car. As I was driving out, the wasted guy got in his car and started following me close.

On the main road, I switched lanes so he could pass me. He began tailgating the car in the other lane. After crossing the state line, we passed a trooper who did nothing even though the guy was a foot away from the other car’s bumper. But a minute later, I saw headlights coming from behind me fast. It was the trooper.

He was following the smashed guy, who was trying to play it cool despite swerving the whole time. The trooper took the next exit, leaving me disappointed and annoyed. Suddenly, I looked up to see a set of headlights again coming at me fast. It was the trooper, who drove up to the guy’s car, leaving three feet between them.

He turned on his lights, and both pulled into a parking lot. The next morning, I saw that the trooper had charged him for drinking and driving.

fooman03

45. Playing It Off

I was driving behind a slow-moving car in the left lane that seemed to be speeding up to pass a semi-truck that was traveling in the right lane. But this car kept speeding up to where they could pass and then slowed down to the back of the truck. This happened until the truck driver came upon a car driving even slower than him.

The truck turned on its signal to turn left. The annoying car was still playing their game and didn’t notice. Well, the driver gave them as much time as he could and then merged into their lane. This almost forced the annoying car off the road.

facepalmingdaily

46. Karma Got Her Rocks Off

My wife had taken my kids, who were six and three at the time, to visit my parents. While romping outside, our six-year-old started picking up rocks and throwing them. For obvious reasons, my wife told her not to. However, my mother proceeded to tell her it was OK. She also told her that she should throw them at the geese. She got proven so wrong soon enough.

Although angry that my mother had usurped her parental authority, my wife didn’t say anything in the interest of keeping the peace. A few short minutes later, my daughter, for no apparent reason whatsoever, whipped a rock at my dad, hitting him in the temple. Finally, he and my mother both got to witness why my wife told our child not to throw rocks in the first place.

sirbeast

KarmaShutterstock

47. It Was Blind Luck

I had to meet a friend in town. I could have walked it, but was feeling lazy, so I waited for a bus. I was sitting, listening to music when some older women walked up to me. They asked if I could look after this other woman who was blind until the bus came. I said sure and introduced myself to the woman, and we talked a little while we waited for the bus.

We ended up waiting for ages. I called my friend to cancel since I was with the lady and I couldn’t leave. An hour later, the bus finally showed up. She was meeting a friend in the shopping mall, outside of a McDonald’s. So, I walked with her to McDonald’s to make sure she met her friend safely. All went well, and she thanked me for being kind.

I told her it was no problem and it was nice meeting her. Afterward, I was hungry and wanted to pick something up for dinner. So, I went to the supermarket and grabbed some cheap lasagne. I went to pay at the self-checkout, and as I put my lasagne in the bag, I saw someone had left a sushi platter. I loved sushi but never got to eat it because I couldn’t afford it.

There was no one looking for it, so I picked it up and put it in my bag. I went and sat by the river and enjoyed my fabulous sushi platter.

purplejasmine

48. I Was Finally In The Clear

It was early in the morning and I was driving home from a New Year’s Eve party. It was dark out. The road was icy and extremely foggy. The streets were twisty and narrow, and the likelihood of deer crossing the road was high, so I was driving very slowly with my fog lights and hazards on. About halfway home, some person peeled out of a side street and started tailgating me.

They were flashing their high beams, honking their horn, apparently in hopes that I would speed up or pull over. Given the road conditions and poor visibility, I declined to do either. I figured that when the road widened in a couple of miles, I would pull to the side and let the person pass. Otherwise, they could take their chances and pass me on the left. I made an awful miscalculation.

For four very tense miles, instead of passing, this dirtbag tailed me, weaving back and forth, shouting out the window. The fog was swirling around, my car was slipping on black ice, and I was worried that a deer would come bounding across the road at any moment. Just as the road widened into two lanes, and before I could pull over, the driver decided they had enough.

They screeched out from around me, narrowly missing my car, while the passengers hung out the windows shouting and throwing bottles and cans at me. When the last can bounced off the hood of my car, I pulled over and wished I could destroy their car with the power of my mind. Fortunately, karma was on the job! A state trooper, who’d been lurking in the darkness, pulled out and sped off after them.

By the time I crept by them, he had all four of them face down on the ground with their hands behind their backs.

electricgekko

49. Only Fools Rush In

I was in the middle lane of a three-lane divided highway. The lane to my left was ending, forcing people to merge into the middle lane. Coming up on where the left lane was about to end, some woman was trying to speed up to get in front of me in her Tahoe. Mind you, there was a ton of free lane space behind me, but apparently, she had somewhere important to be.

So I checked the lane to my right and saw a car coming up. I wasn’t going to cut him off, so I let off the gas and coasted a little to see if this woman was really committed to getting in front of me. She was. She cut in front of me and gave me a quick wave as if that should excuse her. At the same time, I was watching my right-side view mirror for the car that was coming up.

Sure enough, the car in front of her wasn’t going as fast as she needed, and she just cut over to the right lane as the car I was watching passed me. I hit my brakes hard because I knew what was going to happen. The car to my right passed by me as this lady cut over to its lane. She ended up taking the front end of that car against her right rear passenger door, pushing her vehicle sideways. I smiled and waved as I went by.

oddchihuahua

50. I Was Awash With Good Mojo

I was in Bed Bath & Beyond, about to check out my items, when I noticed a pregnant woman with about 10 full bags struggling to open the door. I put all of my items to the side. I told the next person in line to go ahead of me and rushed to help the pregnant woman with the door. Afterward, I helped carry her bags to her car.

Once they were all loaded into her trunk, she turned, thanked me, and handed me an envelope, saying she hoped to repay me for my deed. After I got home from buying my items, I opened the envelope. Its contents were incredible. Inside were two tickets to a sold-out concert that I had been itching to see.

THE_DINOSAUR_QUEEN

KarmaShutterstock

51. Surfs Up

When I was about six years old, my cousin and I were standing knee-deep in the surf. A giant wave came and wiped her off her feet and washed her into the beach. I turned and started laughing while pointing, drawing attention to what had just happened. When her disheveled head surfaced, I said, “Hahahaha! You got dumped b—,” and that’s when an even bigger wave took me out. I deserved it.

dr_mike_rithjin

KarmaShutterstock

52. My Deed Scored A Major Goal

I was working at a concession stand. Early in my shift, a guy came in and asked if we sold empty cups. His wife was a kindergarten teacher, and her class was in the area for a picnic, but she had forgotten cups for the drinks. We weren’t really supposed to, but I sold him 60 cups at the employee rate of 10 cents each. He thanked me, gave me $8, and ran out.

Three hours later, I was on my break when the cook ran to our break room. He told me that a Hall of Fame quarterback had walked into the concession stand. I was a huge fan of the player, so I went inside to help get his order ready. As I gave him his food, a guy next to him pointed to me and said, “Hey, that’s the guy who sold us the cups!”

It turned out that the quarterback’s daughter was in the class. When he paid his bill and got his change, he handed me $20 as a tip for helping out earlier.

ubbull39

53. In The Zone

I was driving on a two-lane road. There was a double yellow line, and I was approaching a flashing school zone. I slowed from 45 to 25 at precisely the right moment. The car behind me didn’t seem to care about the speed restriction and proceeded to tailgate me, flashing her lights, honking her horn, and yelling as she passed me.

She floored it, ignoring everything about the situation, including the oncoming traffic. She zoomed in front of me and was almost out of sight when the blue lights of a cruiser turned on from a hidden spot just on the other side of the school zone. She immediately hit the brakes and pulled over. By the time I got to where they were, I had the passenger window down and was laughing loud enough that they both heard me. She glared at me, and I blew the officer a kiss as he tipped his hat to me.

beautiful_disaster11

54. Plenty Of Fish In The Sea

I worked on a charter fishing boat. I did everything from cut bait, clean fish, upkeep, and maintenance on the boat. However, since we worked for tips, a large amount of our day was spent getting to know the customers who paid to come out and fish. The more you connected with them, the more obligated they felt to tip generously after the trip.

One morning a man came aboard, and after the usual jargon, he revealed himself to be a local preacher hoping to catch enough fish for a fish fry his congregation planned to hold. We promptly told the other customers, most of which agreed to give him whatever fish they didn’t want to keep. We had a good catch of croaker that day and sent him home with well over several hundred pounds of fish.

When it came time to collect tips, he offered the other mate and me a $20 bill. We told him to put it in the offering plate for us next Sunday. Teary-eyed, he expressed his gratitude and said that our generosity would be returned ten-fold. That afternoon a man and his son chartered the entire boat for themselves. Hours later, after an effortless and relatively fun trip, he tipped us $200 apiece.

kdrtadb

55. Taco Belles

I was fresh out of infantry training. It was my first weekend out on the town with my friend. We had it all—dog tags, moto marine corps shirts, the works. We were sitting on the beach one fine Saturday when a very hot woman with two of her friends approached us. Being the naive guys we were, we thought she was honestly just interested in our company. It took so much trouble to find out the truth.

My friend and I started talking her up to try and see which one of us she was interested in so the other could wing, if necessary. As we walked down the beach in the direction she recommended, we came across a humble taco shack. The girl said we should get tacos. Conveniently, no one in her group had any money, so my friend and I suggested we continue walking.

They declined, insisting that we find an ATM to buy them tacos. After we said it wasn’t happening, they said, “Oh, we thought you guys were gonna buy us tacos.” My friend, realizing we were being used, said, “Heck no, we thought you were going to buy us some tacos.” With a look of disgust, they promptly excused themselves from our company.

As we started to walk away, the owner of the taco stand caught up with us and said, “Thank you guys so much for not buying that trash any tacos—have some free ones on me.” She gave us three delicious homemade tacos each, and we ate them as we walked past the women who were trying to lure their next victim into buying them tacos. The looks on their faces were priceless.

EdWrathChild

56. Way Of Things

The car in the left lane turned on its signal to merge. I slowed down to let him in, but traffic stopped at a light. So, now this car was taking up both lanes. A motorcyclist came to pass the car. He turned his head to yell at the driver, but did not notice the other stopped cars. He rode into a bumper then landed on a windshield.

gutoandreollo

57. Coming For You

I’d just gotten my driver’s license and was cruising around, going nowhere in particular. A lady backed into the road at an angle then stopped. I swerved around her fast and hopped the curb while flipping her off. She then chased me for five blocks. At every stop sign I hit, she was right there next to me in the other lane. It was like a nightmare.

I could hear her yelling all sorts of curse words through her windows, my windows, and the radio. Finally, I stopped at an intersection that took forever. I worriedly look back to see her car behind me. Then I noticed something terrifying. She wasn’t in it. All three of her passengers looked like they were in shock. Suddenly, she’s beating on my window.

I rolled it down an inch and told her to leave me alone. She went off about working for the sheriff’s department and that I needed to stay put until officers arrived. I was fine with that course of action since I didn’t see how I was getting in any trouble. So, I asked her if she really wants her boss to come out here.

Because I was going to explain to him how she pulled out in front of me, crossed the yellow line to chase me in the wrong lane, got out of a running vehicle, and banged on my windows. She saw that I had a credible witness in the car and the many others who stopped to watch while they were walking by. Without a word, she went back to her car.

But I had to get the last word because I was a 16-year-old boy. I don’t really remember what I said, but it upset her. Her rage reached a whole new level. She came right back to my car as fast as she could and started to kick and punch it. Not a second before she started hitting my car does a sheriff’s cruiser come around the corner.

He was just minding his own business until he saw her and turned on his red and blues for her. It just so happened that he worked with the lady and didn’t like her at all. She was always trying to get people taken in even though all she did was file paperwork in the basement. He cuffed her as I explained what happened.

TheBigLobster

58. Slipped Up

On some freshly snow covered roads, I was behind an old lady driving in the left lane. She was signaling to switch into the right lane. The driver beside me saw her signal light and so sped up. It’s a big woman in a truck. The old lady still changed lanes, making the lady hit her brakes, so then the bigger woman decided to ride her tail. Well, I wasn’t standing for that.

I accelerated to drive at the same speed as the old lady to make the other driver even angrier, now at both of us on the road. So, she kept swerving from lane to lane, waiting for me to pass. As she did, she hit a patch of snow in the left lane. Her truck hit the median and turned sideways quite suddenly and flipped over.

damien6669

59. Eyes Up Here

I was driving down a five-lane road going just above the speed limit. Being a major road, officers patrolled it quite often. At this point, a guy in an SUV started to tailgate me. All I could see of his car from my mirror was the roof. I still held my speed and watched him become more upset. I could not slow down because he was so close.

There were plenty of opportunities for him to pass me in the other lane that he refused to take. He whipped into the side lane and pulled up next to me. He stared, swore at me, and slammed on his gas pedal hard. If he hadn’t been staring at me but at the road, he would’ve noticed the parked delivery truck in front of him. Yep, he crashed.

I burst into laughter but pulled over to see if he was okay. His car was tucked under the truck with its hood peeled back and a mangled front clip. The truck driver saw everything, as did the drivers behind me who then came to my rescue. The officers didn’t even buy his story, which was all lies. They let me go after I told them what happened.

DoctorWhoToYou

60. Age Matters

I was 19 and driving through a five-exit intersection in my residential neighborhood. Traffic wasn’t very busy, so I was driving in the lane where I had the right-of-way and all other vehicles had to yield. A compact car was approaching the intersection. I tried reassuring myself by remembering that I had right of way. In an instant, it nearly turned deadly.

The car wasn’t slowing down, so I had to slam on my brakes. The other car braked too…in the middle of the intersection. The woman came out the driver’s side and started shouting at me about how I was a dumb teen and needed to learn how to drive or else I’d cause an accident. I opened the door and stuck my head out.

I called her a grandma and told her that if she kept driving like a blind old lady ignoring the yield signs, she was the one who was going to cause an accident. I got back in my car, backed up, and drove around her while she stood there astonished.

gutoandreollo

61. Follow Me

Where I live, we have many ramps and interchanges between freeways. I was in the merging lane to another freeway. There was a truck in front of my sedan, which was driving behind an SUV. Once we hit the ramp, the SUV slowed down to a literal crawl. The truck honked at it. I was also impatient, but I thought it was an old lady who did not know how to drive.

After what felt like an eternity, we got to the end of the ramp, and the SUV floored it. That’s when I realized they were doing it on purpose to make us mad. It worked. My little sedan tried to keep up with them but was left behind. Still, I did end up catching up to them: The SUV was in the middle of the five-lane freeway with a mangled trunk, and the truck was parked on the shoulder with its front end smashed.

I had been fantasizing doing the same to the SUV and was glad to see someone else do it for me.

Bxtch_I_Am_Fabulous

62. Too Fast To See

Early one morning, I was driving to work along a straight section of road near the airport. Looking in my rear view mirror, I noticed a set of headlights coming up fast and weaving in and out. My first impulse was to slow down and give him room to pass me easily, and the one-ton pickup in front of me had the same idea.

A few seconds later, the speeding car roared past us and swerved while trying to get in front of the truck in the right lane. But he moved to the left lane to try and pass, not noticing the tractor trailer coming over the hill ahead. The speedy car tried to switch again but lost control and veered into a telephone pole.

I watched it happen then turned my hazard lights on like every other car around me. I pulled over and was getting out, only to see that the two drivers behind me were pointing and laughing. Looking over, the speedster car’s door was open with no passenger in the seat, and there was a nice head-shaped bulge in the windshield. Then it went from dangerous to bizarre.

I noticed the guy in only his boxers running at full speed down the road. A driver watching with me was a track coach with a stopwatch and told me that he was going fast for someone who’d just been in an accident. The guy ran to someone’s porch, veered into a field, ran a bit more, and stopped to catch his breath.

The man inside his house came out, armed, to see what was happening. The guy walked slowly back to us. We were wondering what substance he was on. Another driver on her way to work as a dispatcher had called for medics and officers to come. But he wasn’t done yet. The guy ran through the field and crossed the street, paying no mind to traffic.

As he approached me, my first instinct was to lock my car doors, and it seemed like everyone else did the same. It was a good thing that we did because the guy tried opening all of our passenger side doors. We were telling him that he needed to sit down because he had been in a major accident. He shouted he needed a ride.

Volunteer paramedics arrived, which made the guy freak out more and run again to the next field. I’ll never forget the next moment. He hopped the fence and tried to hide behind all of the sheep. We were all watching him dumbfounded as he was on his hands and knees “hiding.” The sheep were also not having any of his nonsense and kept moving around.

He swore at the sheep for not cooperating. The paramedics eventually talked the guy down and got him to come back to the road. Troopers started taking our statements and were just waiting for the medics to check the guy out before taking him in.

ninevolt

63. Following Officer

I was driving home 10 miles away from work from the city to the suburbs. I was at a red light about to get onto the highway and looked down to change songs on my phone. That was when I noticed an officer in the other lane was behind me and had seen me look down at my device. I knew I was in trouble then, but I had no idea how much.

When the light turned green, I turned onto the highway. As I had expected, he followed me. I thought he was going to pull me over, but he didn’t. Instead, he got right behind me as I drove exactly at the speed limit while he rode my bumper. We’d made eye contact several times, so I knew he was onto something, but I wasn’t sure of his plans.

I got off the highway at my exit. The officer still rode my tail. I pulled up to a light with a right-turn-only lane, which he entered. When he was next to me, he gave me a stern look. I stared straight ahead, pretending not to notice. The light turned green, and he turned right then immediately moved to turn left into the gas station across the street.

I turned to my friend beside me and told her I thought he was finally going to pull me over. As we went through the intersection, he was doing his left turn…when suddenly a car crashed into the side of his car. He’d been so focused on keeping his eyes on me that he cut the woman off without enough time for her to stop.

shutupanddance

64. Cold Distance

I was driving the country route back home after work one night during December. It had been snowing all day with six inches of fresh snow covering everything, including the roads. I was travelling slowly on this tiny snow-covered road. Then this giant, lifted truck came behind me and began riding so close to my bumper.

My small car couldn’t have gone faster even if I’d tried. There were times when I could not see his headlights in my side mirrors, he got so close to me. The whole time he was honking and throwing a fit, but he never passed me. I finally had enough with him and slowed down even more. The truck revved up to try and pass me.

When he did, he went right into the ditch. I stopped my car and got out to tell him that the roads were slippery. He swore at me, and I got in my car and went home.

mr-scratch

65. Emergency Efforts

I was driving along one day on a very busy road in my hometown. At this major intersection, a firetruck coming from my right had its lights and siren going. So, I did what everyone is supposed to do and stopped my car. I was stunned at what happened. See, nobody else did. I was sitting still in the center lane while everyone else was still driving.

The firetruck was trying to cross to get through, horn blaring, sirens screaming, and no one seemed to care. The person who stopped behind me honked at me, sped around me, and flipped me off. She had not seen that the firetruck had made its way through the intersection, and she slammed right into it. I got out to check on her.

She’d hurt her head badly and was bleeding a lot. But when the firefighters pulled her out of her car, she was yelling at them for running the red light.

Light-of-Aiur

66. Join the Line

My dad told me this story. He was driving back from the shore when traffic got really bad. About a mile ahead, there was an accident that had brought traffic to a crawl. Stuff happens, and my dad decides to be patient about it. Others…weren’t so patient. People even began driving on the shoulder in order to get ahead of the traffic.

This ticks my dad off. We all know how this goes. We do the right thing and are punished for it, whereas these jerks are skipping in front of traffic and will probably get away with it. He thought about following this stream of cars onto the shoulder, but he decided he’d do the right thing and wait. Then suddenly, karma came along.

As he got closer, he saw two uniformed officers waiting around in a parking lot. One officer was directing all of the shoulder drivers into the parking lot, while the other wrote all of those drivers tickets. My dad describes it as one of the most satisfying things he’s ever seen. Definitely a great call by my dad.

DrDudeManJones

67. Boxed in

My little sister’s friend was being a real jerk to me. Following me around, mocking everything I said, making rude commentary on everything I did. I told her she shouldn’t do things like that to someone older than her, because it could have dire consequences. Some time later, they convinced me to play hide-and-seek with them, and the rules were to STAY IN THE HOUSE.

I searched high and low for that little brat and couldn’t find her anywhere. My sister had no clue either, and neither of us heard the doors open, so we didn’t think she could be outside. Well, we were wrong. Turns out, the kid decided to say screw the rules and go outside. She hid in the back of my mom’s truck, which has a camper shell that can be locked from the outside.

I guess someone saw that it was open, closed it, and locked it while the kid was hiding inside. Oops. She ended up peeing in her pants because she was so scared. I volunteered to unlock it, but I took my sweet time doing so, staring at her with this smug-as-anything grin. It was a truly great moment of instant karma.

andianopolis

68. Sock It to ‘Em

I was 17. I went to a party where there were kids from two different high schools. When I went inside, I took off my brand new Nike Air Mada shoes that I had just bought for $140. Hours later, when I went to leave, my new shoes were gone. We had an idea of who took them, a guy from the other school, but didn’t have proof.

I was so sad and so embarrassed. I had to drive home in my socks. But a week later, the girl who threw the party shows up on my doorstep holding something behind her back…turns out she went to a party and saw the guy who took my shoes wearing them! When he took them off after a smoke break, she snagged them. She told me the best part was watching him look for them (just like I had) and then leave in his socks.

cruisefromottawa

69. Badwill

I worked for Goodwill quite a few years back as a supervisor because my mother and I had really fond memories of treasure hunting there and I wanted to try and build up some management experience with a reputable company. I thought it would be my dream gig for a while even though I knew it would be hard work. Except it was a total nightmare.

The manager was an all-right lady, but her assistant manager was a tyrant. Every day, she would threaten to fire the employees if they didn’t do their work right. I took offense to this because as a supervisor, I wanted my team to be in good spirits and wanted them to love coming in to work and doing good things for the mission.

Yet because every single day they were being told they could be fired, morale was rock bottom. People were afraid for their jobs every day. It got so bad, I had a meeting with the manager and I said, “I don’t want to step on any toes, but I would appreciate it if you could ask the assistant manager to tone down the firing threats.”

She said she understood and I felt good about the conversation. The next day, she called me into her office where her and the assistant manager were both waiting for me. They asked me to lock the door. As soon as I did, I got the most hate-filled verbal lashing of my entire life. I truly wasn’t prepared for what they said.

“You think you can turn us against each other? You are worthless. You just do your freaking job and don’t tell us how to do ours. Who do you think you are??” This went on for about 20 minutes. I’m a grown man and I nearly started bawling right then and there. Finally, I told them to take this terrible job and shove it. Well, they got their comeuppance.

I was the only supervisor they had on a team that required at least two. The manager and assistant manager were already working 60-hour weeks to make things work on a skeleton crew, and when I quit they were going to be working 80 hours each with no weekends until they had at least a month to find someone else. I wasn’t really concerned about it at that point.

Lucavious

70. Karma’s Cold Slap

I was working with this complete jerk at the sandwich shop where I work. She was 17, I was 18. I was telling a coworker about how my boyfriend had proposed to me, and she comes up behind me and says, “I bet he only proposed because the condom broke.” It caused me to burst into tears—because she didn’t know the dark truth. 

I’d actually just recently found out that there was only a 2% chance that I could have kids, and I was still very sensitive about it. After coming out of the supply room (I went in there to cry) I asked her to come out the back door with me so I could have a word with her. I didn’t want customers to hear us, because we likely would have ended up yelling.

I told her to keep her nose in her own business. She then decided to slap me. Pretty hard, too. I didn’t hit her back…because we were directly in front of a camera. So, I went inside and called my boss. He had seen it on the live feed at home and had recorded it. He was already on his way. He came in and dragged her out the back again and fired her.

Permalink

71. Sweeping the Legs

When I was a teenager, I was in a van with a bunch of my friends. We stopped for gas at a place on a busy intersection. One of my friends points out some action happening in a car parked next to the street and says, “He’s beating the tar out of her!” Sure enough, some horrible guy is bouncing his girlfriend’s head off the dashboard.

Now, we were no innocent teenagers, and this van was our mailbox-baseball-mobile. We grabbed our bats and prepared to intervene. But just as we were getting out, the girl grabs the keys out of the guy’s ignition and throws them into the street. I can see the rest in slow motion, clear as day, even though it happened more than 20 years ago.

The guy races out of the car in a huff, runs into the street, bends to pick up his keys. He gets back up, points at the car, and starts to yell something, his face red with rage. Just then, a little sports sedan turns the corner at speed, and hits him straight on in the legs. Dude does a flip over the car and falls into a limp pile. Girlfriend runs to him, crying in remorse…

At the time, we were in no way prepared to stick around and talk to the authorities, so this was the last I knew of things…that is, until a few years later. One night, back from college on winter break, I was telling this story at a party. A girl looks at me funny, and starts asking me some date and location questions.

She was really freaking out. Turns out, she was the driver who hit the dude, only she didn’t know he was a jerk. No one at the scene, including the girlfriend, said anything about the incident. The driver had felt guilty for years about running down some innocent guy, crippling him for life. My chance retelling of the story took a huge burden off her.

Permalink

72. Swiped

I was targeted to be fired from work. It had nothing to do with my performance, and everything to do with my manager who took a disliking to me. I walked the line of perfection for about a month until I found another job, then I handed in my two weeks’ notice. That was victory number one. But I had even more wins up my sleeve.

I then took about a half-dozen of their employees and got them hired into my new company. That was victory number two. I’d like to think that victory number three was the 30 or 40 employees they lost in the following year, but I can’t claim direct responsibility for that. Thing is, when you have employees with high-demand skills like software engineering, you’d best treat them right.

magicmuds

73. Classy Action

I worked for a small lottery chain for the better part of a year back around 2008. It was a single employee operation, so I worked a 10-hour shift with no breaks or a lunch. All in all, it wasn’t a bad job and had good tips. Then one day, out of the blue, the regional manager calls me into the store and tells me that I’m suspended.

I was given no warning whatsoever. I asked her why. Her reply made my blood run cold. She flat-out tells me that I’m frightening away the patrons because I’m gay. The next day, she calls me to say that I’m no longer needed. I tried for a lawsuit, but it was a he-said-she-said kind of thing. Not really that much that I could do about it, unfortunately.

Flash forward to last month. I get a call from a lawyer asking me if I want to take part in a class-action lawsuit against this company for discrimination and unfair wage compensation practices. I told them my story, and now I’m a class representative for the case. I’m so ready for this court case, you don’t even know.

SiberianTora

74. Eye for an Eye

When I was a kid, I was the youngest of all the kids on my block. The other kids, including my sister, would have fun tormenting me. They would try and exclude me from things on the basis of my age. The worst of them was Marcus, who would always be a complete jerk. One day Marcus and I, along with some of the other kids, went to a nearby school to ride around on our scooters.

Marcus convinced me that to be “cool” I had to jump down a flight of five stairs. I succeeded, but broke my scooter in the process. As the kids rode off, laughing at me for not being able to join them, Marcus’ front wheel caught in a crack in the concrete. He FLEW over the handlebars, straight into a flagpole. I nearly keeled over laughing. I broke my scooter; he broke his face.

Permalink

75. No Tow for You

My boyfriend has a big GMC, and one winter it was really snowy and a bunch of cars had gone into the ditch, as you do. Because he’s a nice guy, he was spending his day off pulling people out for free. At one point, while he was helping someone, some jerk FLEW by him, wailing on the horn and flipping him off out of the window.

He got done pulling the car out and headed up the road in the direction that idiot had gone. That’s when he witnessed an incredible sight. A mile up the road, they found the jerk standing outside of his car, which was now plowed into a giant freaking tree. Boyfriend honked his horn, waved, and kept driving. Dude just hung his head like a scolded dog. Truly beautiful.

Carryoncrow

76. Oh Snapple

I go to New York City about once a year to visit family. While there, I always crave the “Grandma’s Sicilian” pizza, and the best slice in the city is served near my cousin’s place. Well, it’s New York, and naturally the joint is crowded as anything. Across from the register you can grab drinks, and paying for them basically comes down to the honor system.

I’ve never really taken anything before, but my cousin just nonchalantly took a drink and nobody said a word! I do love me some Peach Snapple so I got greedy and took two of them. I paid for the food and we were on our way out. By then, I was on an adrenaline rush. Did I mention my craving for the pizza was so large that I also got an entire pizza instead of just one or two slices?

Yep, an entire pie for myself. So, as we are walking back to the subway station, I trip on the curb and fall. I land on the pizza with my stomach, covering my clothes in sauce. Both Snapples shatter and the glass lodges itself in my knuckles, palms, and legs. The brand new $60 jeans I purchased the day before got ripped and stained. Yeah, karma came for me hard.

alexisaacs

77. Playing Engineer

I was trying to sell my apple-seed biodiesel processor. One guy came by who seemed genuinely interested. He said he would pay me $100 to give a demonstration of the whole process. Apparently, he was some big shot with a garage and a fleet of heavy equipment. I demoed the first 90% of the process and explained the rest.

A few weeks go by and I haven’t seen my $100 or the guy who wanted to buy the processor. That’s when I found out he had tried to make his own processor and failed miserably. He ruined two very expensive dump trucks in the process. They are still sitting behind his house. Yeah, thank you, karma. I may not get my $100, but at least I get some satisfaction.

Permalink

78. Bossing Around

I worked for a tech company that moved out over a weekend, because the landlords were locking us out that Monday. I’d told my boss we’d want to get the internet set up before the move, since we were, you know, a tech company and it was important the internet worked. He didn’t listen. We tried to get someone out on a weekend from the phone company instead.

Got everything hooked up, and gosh, no internet. So, my boss called me in on Sunday to talk to tech support. I’m a family man, and we had a very nice dinner planned. But no, work was more important to my boss. Told him okay, but he’d need to meet me at the office. I did the tech support call, and still no boss. Called him again and told him I really needed him in the office.

When he got there, I handed him my key, the list of passwords to the server, and wrapped them in my resignation letter. Told him I had a family, and being pulled away from Easter Sunday dinner to talk to tech support was the last straw. Told him that I was sure he could find tech administrator on short notice, or he could figure it out himself.

Llyran

79. A Close Shave

My girlfriend (now fiancée) and I moved into an apartment together. Things were going great until a buddy of hers needed a place to stay as he was going through a divorce with his wife. I had never met “Saul” before but we got along fine. I worked at a PC repair shop that had a LAN Center in it that we’d have LAN parties at all the time, and apparently he had seen me there.

So, we talk about gaming, beer, etc. He tells me he’s looking for work as he was working at his father-in-law’s shop and got canned because of the divorce. No problem, just help out around the house and pay us rent when you can. Two months later nothing, and this was before the economic downturn. There were companies hiring right and left, besides Taco Bell and McDonald’s.

Somehow, he scrapes together $200 bucks. He immediately goes out and blows it on finishing up a demonic sleeve tattoo. Fantastic, that’s gonna help him getting a job. He uses the kitchen and leaves dirty dishes everywhere. We are washing his clothes and he’s using my toiletries…which is where sweet karma comes in.

I inform him at the end of month three that we were sorry, but he needed to either pay the back-rent owed and have a job by the end of the week or he would have to leave. Astonishingly, he asked, “How can you kick me out after all I’ve done for you?” I was so flabbergasted. Like really dude, what have you actually done except mooch off our generosity?

“Fine! Screw you! I’ll get my junk out of your apartment by the end of the day” he finally says. I go to work, come back home, and my significant other tells me that Saul was furious and had packed his stuff. I hear him in the bathroom. He’s finally showering after about four weeks of taking a break from hygiene, and I hear my electric razor.

He comes out clean shaven, flips me off, grabs his stuff, and splits. As soon as the door shuts, I’m in tears from laughter. My SO is ticked since she feels like she lost a friend over the deal. I then inform her that he’ll get over it. She then goes in to see the wreck he left in the bathroom and sees the razor on the sink. “Saul shaved didn’t he?” “Yup.” “Isn’t that the…?” “Shaver I use to trim ‘down there’? Yep.”

Both of us are in freaking tears by this point. We find out later he moved to Arkansas, where he was promptly detained for assault. Served time, released, and immediately got hung up on another charge, but was released due to lack of evidence. Saw him the other day, kicking a scraggly beard. I wanted to offer him that shaver.

Hitokiri818

80. A Coke And A Smile

I worked at a pizza joint during college. We sold some beverages out of a fountain machine and others in a can. One day, this lady in a business suit came in acting a little frantic. She wanted soda in a can but wasn’t happy with our selection. She got pretty nasty when I told her we only sold Coca-Cola out of the fountain.

She left the store mad and went across the street to a little hot dog stand to see about buying her drink there. They had it in a can, but apparently at a price she did not want to pay. So, she came storming back to my pizza joint and snottily said, “The Coke across the street was too expensive, so I have to settle for your fountain soda.” She wanted six of them.

She got even angrier when I offered her a choice of 12 or 32-ounce cups and even more aggravated when I told her we didn’t have carrying trays. However, I offered to get her a box to carry them all. She was just flat-out unhappy that she had to deal with this. To make things worse, we had a faulty batch of soda cups that day. About every tenth cup had a pinhole in it.

I did not know that, as I had just started shift when this woman first came in. Wouldn’t you know it, but this woman in her business suit got one of the defective cups and soda sprayed ALL OVER the front of her suit. I was sure she thought we did it on purpose. I apologized offered her a wet rag and a replacement cup. But when she finally walked out the door, my boss and I had the biggest laugh!

LizzardFish

81. How The Wind Blows

It was a particularly windy day. I was in the parking lot at a grocery store with my dad. As we exited the building, we saw a shopping cart being pushed along by the wind at walking speed. The cart passed right in front of this woman who just watched it go by, despite it going slow enough that she could have easily caught it.

My dad turned to me and said, “Why didn’t she just grab it?” We continued to watch this cart gain speed. After a few seconds, a burst of wind came through, and the cart rocketed across the parking lot directly towards this one van. We could hear it smash into this van over the howling wind and saw the huge dent in the driver’s side door from over 75 feet away.

We then noticed that the woman from earlier who watched the cart go by her was walking in the same direction as the van. With each step, my dad and I could barely contain our excitement. When she got to about 15 feet away from the car, we saw her hands rise into the air. At that point, we just lost our composure and laughed until we got home.

rissen06

KarmaShutterstock

82. On The Brink Of Embarrassment

One day the armored transport company came into my work to drop off cash for us. One of the guards was the rudest guy we had ever met. He came in demanding, “I need your manager now,” and “When are you going to take care of me?” So, the manager took the cash, finished the transaction, and the guy walked out. A few moments later,  he came back in asking to use the phone. His partner had gotten out of the truck and locked the keys inside. We were all busting a gut. It was well deserved.

CoolMoo5e

83. Karma Stepped In

There was a kid at school who I always disliked. I was walking down the stairs after my last class had ended after a bad day. This kid proceeded to follow me down the stairs and be a total pain for no reason, saying, “I hate you.” Not even five seconds later, this moron fell down the entire staircase and landed right into a group of girls. His face reached a new level of red I didn’t think was possible.

balenciyagaborrower

84. The Universe Made Its Point

One day, a coworker who slightly outranked me was joking around and busting my chops. She was giving me a hard time, saying I was dumb and that they paid me too much. She went to sit down and somehow got her right hand stuck awkwardly underneath her. The maneuver broke her pointer finger. Through the tears, she looked at me and said, “Guess I deserved that,” and chuckled a little.

henny_316

85. That’s Nacho Order

I was at Taco Bell and had ordered nachos bell grande—and so did the man immediately behind me in line. We waited together for our food to get done, and when they called my number, he grabbed my food. He looked at me and said, “You ordered the same thing as me, but I’m in a hurry, so you can just take mine when it’s ready.”

This guy didn’t care two bits what I had going on. He was in a suit and tie, and I was in my construction clothes. He took one step toward the door and slipped, spilling his drink and my nachos all over his shirt and jacket. At that exact moment, they called his number. I picked up his nachos, thanked him, and walked out the door.

HotrodCorvair

86. Karma Decked Him Good

My buddy and I were having a drink on a large wooden patio at an ocean-side bar/restaurant. A middle-aged couple was sitting next to us. Our tables were next to each other, and they were relatively close to us. As my buddy and I were just taking in the view, he caught eyes with the dude and said something innocuous like, “Good evening.”

The guy retorted, “Mind your own business and keep your eyes to yourself.” My buddy and I looked at each other with a “Did that just happen?” expression. My buddy looked back over at him and said something like, “Relax, buddy, sorry to bother you.” At that point, we were a little put-off.  We got back to our drinks and enjoyed the sunset.

Two minutes later, the guy pulled out a ring for his partner. It was a large diamond. She was excited, and he had a sufficiently smug, self-satisfied look on his face. She went to hand it back to him. Then disaster struck. When he grabbed it, he fumbled. It fell to the deck, rolled an inch or two, and then promptly disappeared, falling between two slats of the deck.

I felt bad for the woman. The guy’s face went white and then immediately red. He was barely able to maintain his composure. It looked like he wanted to strike his lady friend. The dude looked over at us, and now we were looking straight at him. We just smiled casually. He called a waiter over and started discretely explaining what had happened.

He wanted someone to pull up the deck slats. However, that was NOT going to happen. The waiter was cool as ice. Despite the guy raging at this point, the waiter flatly told him something to the effect of, “Look, man, you can come back tomorrow and talk to the manager, or pay your bill and leave now.” The guy sat down. His lady friend was visibly shaken.

While enjoying our drinks and the sunset, my friend and I remarked about how karma, while certainly inspiring, is almost magical when it’s instant.

rainemaker

87. He Wanted To Be Starting Something

I was walking to the pub after work one rainy evening when I saw a guy intentionally shove himself into a fairly nerdy-looking dude who was walking along with his girlfriend. He stopped and accused the nerdy guy of pushing him and then gave him a  mouthful. What followed was pure karma. It was one of those moments that was so perfect and full of justice that it was almost too good to be true.

The big guy took a huge swing at the nerdy guy and ended up slipping because it had been raining out. He completely missed hitting the nerdy guy and ended up in a flustered mess on the floor. The nerdy guy looked bewildered, and his girlfriend was desperately trying to drag him away, but he stood his ground. The big dude seemed to become even angrier due to his embarrassing fall.

He got back up and took another swing, which the nerdy guy dodged. He slipped again and fell to his knees. The nerdy guy, who was as ruthless as he was good at not getting punched in the face, saw this as a great opportunity to get this nonsense over with. So, he smacked the guy right in the face with a sweet jab that made a “’thwack” sound.

The original guy went down once and for all, sprawled on the bridge in the rain, while the nerdy guy took his girl’s hand and they went on their merry way together. Meanwhile, I went to the pub and had a pint in nerdy guy’s honor. It was beautiful, just beautiful.

CantankerousPete

88. He Got His Kicks On Route 66

I remember taking a road trip through Ohio during a blizzard. I was used to driving in the snow, but this was so bad I could hardly make out where I was going. The roads were empty. Since my car wasn’t really fantastic, I was chugging along at a slow pace in the right lane because I wasn’t in that big of a hurry—and I didn’t want to crash.

Suddenly, a fully-loaded truck blew past me in the left lane, kicking up a bunch of snow against my car and whiting out my windshield. I was flying blind for a few moments while my wipers got rid of the snow. When I could see again, a chill ran down my spine. The guy seemed to have slowed down and kept pace next to me.

Then, he slowed down more, revved his engine, and proceeded to do it again. He got his kicks off of harassing smaller cars, and there wasn’t anything I could do. There weren’t any exits to get off, and I didn’t want to speed up in such bad conditions. After blasting me three or four more times, he sped off. I spent the next half hour grumbling about this jerk on the phone to my friends.

While chatting, I spotted something. The interstate took a sharp turn, and off the road on the left, there was a truck flipped on its top, half-buried in snow. It was him.

WhyNotJustMakeOne

89. She Got A Doggone Sweet Surprise

I used to clean a local gymnastics facility on the weekends. The owner would rent out the place for birthday parties, and one of the coaches was always present for them. One weekend, I saw a car pull up about an hour before the party was to start. I was finishing cleaning the lobby, and we had no power as our lights were being replaced.

This woman came in and headed upstairs. About ten seconds later, she came STORMING down the stairs, got in my face, and started yelling, “WHY is there no power?! I’m supposed to set up for this party. HOW am I supposed to do that WHEN I CAN’T SEE WHAT I’M DOING?!” I was a little stunned and told her that, per the owner’s policy, she couldn’t be in the building until the coach arrived.

Her face went purple. She yelled, “HOW DARE YOU TELL ME WHAT I CAN AND CAN NOT DO! THE OWNER SAID I COULD BE HERE WHENEVER I WANTED. I WON’T TAKE THIS GARBAGE FROM SOME STUPID KID!” I said, “Fine, but your power won’t be on for another 45 minutes. You might as well go wait in your car until the coach gets here.”

She stomped off, tried to slam the door, and proceeded to try and call the owner. When the coach finally arrived, I told her what had happened and how she acted towards me. I also left a note for the owner and called her to inform her. I left the gym and went home for the night. The following day, I went in to get paid. The owner pulled me aside and told me I did everything right in that situation. Then I found out the whole story. 

I found out that not only was that lady completely nasty to the coach as well, but that she didn’t pay for the party, and she stayed a full hour longer than what was rented. Then, I got the best news possible. When the parents were all inside, her dog had gotten into the cake that was in her car and ate about half of it. Her reaction was deranged.

She then said, “Oh, we can still use it. We’ll just cut around the parts the dog ate.” 40 minutes later, she came running back into the gym, grabbed a bunch of paper towels, and returned to her car. Within the time that she brought the cake inside to the time she went back out, her dog had pooped and puked EVERYWHERE in her car—on the seats, floors, armrests, even the dashboard. This car was COVERED in poo and vomit.

onemedicman

90. Gravel Of Justice

This guy on the highway was following me really close. But he wasn’t just doing that. He drove in front of me and slowed down, switched lanes to get behind me, tailgated me, and then would do it all over again. It was late at night with no other cars around. I didn’t know why he was driving that way. He got behind me again.

Right as he did, a piece of gravel flew out my tire and took out one of his headlights. I learned later that my two-year-old nephew had stuck a few pieces in there before someone stopped him, and one dislodged at the perfect satisfying moment.

Chefbexter

91. Until The Very End

I was the lead of a group of cars on the highway during light traffic going about. A black car came upon us and started swerving in and out, trying to get ahead. He made it to my rear bumper. I looked in my rear view to assess my challenger. This young guy was driving his girlfriend’s car, and she was right next to him. There was a pink bow hanging from the rear view mirror.

I gave him enough space to pass me, but this made him angrier. I knew the game was on, and I was ready. He switched lanes to drive behind me and ride my bumper even closer. I played around with the gas pedal, accelerating then slowing down. It enraged him. He then switched lanes to get in front of me. I stepped on my gas to stay ahead of him.

The girl looked like she was telling him to stop. Not wanting to upset her, I braked and let him speed off. Thinking that was the end of that, I was surprised when I heard a “pop!” He was a car’s length ahead with a grey cloud above him. Sparks followed, and the tires fell off. Each burst as they did. I turned my hazards on in the middle of the two lanes for him to pull over safely.

I was waiting for him to lose control at any time and wanted to prevent as much damage as possible. I couldn’t believe my eyes. He didn’t stop or even slow down. He went at the same speed, ripping off whatever rubber was left on his rims. I could only assume he got off at the next exit going over 80 MPH to save his pride. I still wonder why he’d do that.

ChrisWGraphics

92. Catch Me If You Can

Late one night, I was driving home from campus on an empty dark road and had to slam on my brakes to avoid hitting an animal. I thought it was a cat at first, but as I was swerving out of the way, I realized it was just a possum. It was an adrenaline pumping moment, so I was focused on keeping my cool and slowing down.

I had to pay more attention to my speed and surroundings. Then I saw headlights in my mirror and looked back to the road. When I looked at my mirror again, the headlights were right behind me. The car had been flying down the road and had to slow down as he could not pass me because of the oncoming traffic. He was mad.

He flashed his lights at me then switched to the other lane. The other drivers had to slam on their brakes to avoid him. That was when I got ma. I knew just how to make his night worse. So, I got behind him just so my high beams hit the mirror in his eyes. I was unsure if I had any effect on him, but then we got to a light.

I slowed down and turned off my high beams, thinking he got the point. Except he stopped in the middle of the road, and I could see in his mirror he was upset and yelling. Hoping the other cars’ lights covered me, I smiled as his displeasure pleased me. A gas station was ahead, and the guy raced to it and pulled in.

This huge man twice my size got out of his car. He was flailing his arms at me and saying to get out of my car. I tried keeping my cool even though I was terrified and watched to see if he’d got anything to hit me with. The light was about to change, so he got back into his car. He expected me to go straight and prepared to turn right.

The light changed, and I made a sharp left. He was sitting at a red light, and I thought it was finally over. Nope, it wasn’t close to finished. I watched this guy floor it through the red light and pass traffic to follow me. So, I picked up my speed thinking I could lose him. It was like I was standing still, though, because of how fast he was coming up on me.

I didn’t know what to do. My phone was in my hand, and I was ready to call for officers, but I just slammed on my brakes. The guy thought I was bluffing, but when he realized that I wasn’t, he had to swerve his overpriced sports car off the road. That was when I took the chance to accelerate as fast as my car could go. Then I saw flashing blue and red lights.

An officer had been behind him at the red light and followed him as the guy drove 80 in a 45 zone. He got him after watching him swerve off the road.

JustAnotherAcc86

93. That’s On You

I film and edit promotional videos, then post them on my company’s YouTube channel. The day after I uploaded a particular run-of-the-mill video, my manager called me into his office because one of our directors, who hates our department and loves undermining me in particular, sent an email to my manager and a few higher-ups. That’s when it got cringey.

In the email, he stated that I had messed up the promo video, because there were “all of these other disgusting videos attached to it.” As proof, he included a screenshot of the end of the video, where all of the recommended videos appeared to star scantily-clad Asian women in suggestive poses. Neither he nor my manager knew how YouTube algorithms worked.

He didn’t realize that the videos were suggested because he, or someone on his account, viewed that kind of content before. I have no idea how my manager explained this to him.

sarcastinymph

94. Sounds Wrong

My uncle is a deputy sheriff, and one time, he was at an airport speaking to my aunt over the phone in Spanish. Once he was done with his call, some nearby Karen who overheard him went up to him and started demanding to see his green card. Huge mistake. My uncle decided to mess with her and said he didn’t know what a green card was.

He told her he had never even heard of it. She became more upset and kept demanding to see it. He messed with her more and then eventually went, “Well, I don’t have a green card, but I have this,” then brought out his wallet and showed her his badge. She immediately walked away while my uncle just kept laughing at her.

ElTacoWolf

95. A Taste Of Her Own Medicine

When my boyfriend was 14, he was living with his mom and sister on a housing estate. It was summer and he liked a bit of light in his upstairs bedroom, so he left the curtains open at all times. That included when he was getting dressed and after having a shower, so if you purposefully stared at his window, you could see him from his waist up (and only his waist up).

Well, their neighbor did not like that one bit. She went pounding on their door, yelling at my mother-in-law that her son was a disgrace, hanging around always naked and exposing himself to her daughter. My mother-in-law told her he had every right to do whatever he wanted in his bedroom, and that if they didn’t want to see him all they needed to do was not to look.

A couple of days went by and lo and behold, the authorities showed up at the neighbor’s door. Turned out the neighbor had been filming and taking pictures of my boyfriend to show to the housing people as evidence of his wrongdoing to get them kicked out. Except that the housing office called the authorities on her for taking pictures and videos of an underage kid and kicked her and her family out.

_darksoul89

96. Money Can’t Buy You Class

I’ve been a TA for a couple courses at my university, which is fairly competitive and the students are generally all top notch. Once in a blue moon, though, someone slips by the admission process. My worst experience was as a TA for a lower division math course. She was a freshman student, and spoiled doesn’t begin to cut it.

Her family was clearly loaded, and I suspect she went to some insanely expensive private school that wrote her application for her. This girl would be in designer clothes and on her phone or laptop the entire time in lecture. Obviously everyone does this sometimes, but this girl was clearly just chatting with her friends and shopping for clothes all the time.

When she failed to turn in the first four problem sets, I sent her a quick email to let her know that homework contributed to a significant portion of her grade. I also said I’d still accept them. I never got a response. So she gets a blatant F on her first midterm. Like, it’s not an F that could be rounded up to anything significant.

She was at a point where she should’ve just dropped out and try again next semester. I sent another email saying this. This time I got a response, with her stating she could make the grade back next midterm. Alright, I think, suit yourself.  So I continue through the rest of the semester. She’s still failing…until something absolutely ridiculous happens.

At the last meeting of my discussion section, SHE SHOWS UP! Not just that, but with her parents. Oh my god, it gets better. She stays after the session to introduce me to her parents, and then hands me a stack of papers and informs me that it’s all the homework for the semester. Meanwhile her parents are sitting there all proud of their little girl.

I take the stack graciously and, in my most professional voice, let her know that I’d be happy to take a look at it, but she won’t get any credit. Her parents’ faces completely fall. Her father starts to insult me. So I show them everything: The abysmal attendance record, the 0% homework score, the low, low, low midterm scores.

Now she’s starting to tear up and the parents are seriously fuming. Not wanting to put myself in the middle of the rest of the storm, I mumble that I have a class to get to and sprint out of there…but not before I hear the student getting chewed up so loudly that people actually poked their heads out of classrooms. She never showed up for the final.

Anyun

97. I Didn’t Get The Email!

The property management company for my homeowner’s association insisted that I had received emails that I never received. So, I asked them to prove that I had received them. I’m a software engineer and at the time I had just finished an enterprise email delivery system; like an in-house, constant contact. I knew the rules of the CAN-SPAM Act by heart. I KNEW exactly how their system worked.

So, this property manager said, “I know how email works. You wouldn’t understand.” At that very moment, I couldn’t help it—I had to put the guy in his place. I started to explain very methodically how email delivery works and how they’d track various actions. I spent about five minutes detailing my credentials and why I was absolutely certain they had never sent me the emails they alleged I received. When I was finished, the HOA board just agreed to waive the fines.

-aged-like-wine-

98. The Principle of the Thing

I worked as a database administrator for a community center one summer in university. Basically, I created a database for them to track who was donating to them and how much they were donating, as well a who was volunteering, and for how many hours. Very simple work and despite being the youngest person on staff, I got along well with my co-workers.

Well, except for my immediate boss, who was a total piece of work. The next spring, I was applying for jobs and e-mailed my old boss to ask for a letter of recommendation. Much to my surprise, she told me that she didn’t write recommendation letters “out of principle.” I was pretty ticked off about it because I was finding it very difficult to find a position.

Not being able to count on my most recent employer for a reference was a definite blemish on my resume. However, in spite of this, I managed to land a decent job. Lo and behold, I got to get revenge on day one of my new job. That 3day, my boss happened to email me about a problem at my old work with the database I had worked on.

She had moved some files around, rendering it impossible for her to access the database. She asked if I would come in. I had the best reply. I e-mailed her back and told her I already had a job and couldn’t do it “out of principle.” From the center’s perspective, it effectively made my entire summer a waste of time. Hey, what can you do?

ItsOppositeDayHere

99. Room Service

For a full year, my college roommate secretly slept with my boyfriend while I was at class. I routinely took more than a full course load and was in math and science classes or study groups every morning. One day, I walked in to see a horrifying sight. They were just fully in the act after I came back early from a cancelled class.

I moved out. I was more angry at her than heartbroken. I also lost most of my friends through the breakup, and they stuck together for a good while. Fast forward five years later. Those two throw a crazy expensive engagement party at the guy’s parents’ beach house, which was attended by some still-mutual friends who told me everything.

At the party, she caught him sleeping with one of the waitresses from the catering company in a bathroom. They still got married. I feel a little bad for her despite the karma balance. She feels like she can’t do better than being with a cheater.

whalesharkbite

Delayed karmaUnsplash

100. The Bride Wore Blue

Last summer I was at a cousin’s wedding. His bride and her family had been close with ours since before I was born, and the couple had known each other since they were toddlers, so it was a particularly exciting event for both sides of the family. However, after the ceremony was over and the party had only just started, one of the bridesmaids decided to announce her own engagement.

The attention was immediately taken away from the newlyweds and brought to the bridesmaid (who I’ll call Sarah) and her equally-smug fiancé. My cousin’s wife (I’ll call her Emma) didn’t make a scene or utter a single negative word about Sarah. She looked like she was on the verge of tears, but she kept grinning and acted very happy for the other couple.

This was unusual, as Emma is typically quite confrontational and speaks her mind no matter the consequences. This was a warning sign. Sarah later picked Emma to be the maid of honor at her own wedding, which took place last weekend. I wasn’t there for it, but my cousin sent me some of the best bits on snapchat and explained the whole situation. This is where the fun begins.

Emma’s two much-younger sisters were the flower girls at Sarah’s wedding. At the very last moment, Emma switched out the white petals in their baskets to blue ones she had secretly brought with her. She told her sisters not to say anything about it or let the bride see them until it was time to scatter them down the aisle. Sarah looked very confused upon seeing the blue petals (which didn’t coordinate whatsoever with her theme), but of course she didn’t say anything about it in the moment.

Most of Sarah’s other bridesmaids were also Emma’s friends, had attended Emma’s wedding, and were in on Emma’s scheme. At the reception, Emma’s sisters and the other bridesmaids were tight-lipped when Sarah began demanding to know why there were blue petals. The wedding planner ended up getting a lot of flack for not checking the flower girls’ baskets before they walked down the aisle.

Finally, it was time for the speeches. The speeches took place in front of a massive screen, displaying a loop of photos with Sarah and her husband, which had been compiled by Emma. Emma took the remote that controlled the presentation screen and at first she showed some pre-approved humorous photos of Sarah with Emma and other friends to facilitate a couple of light-hearted jokes.

Then, at the very end, Emma said to Sarah that she must be wondering why there were blue petals instead of the white ones originally planned. That was when Emma displayed the last slide from her presentation, and jaws dropped. Emma announced in front of everyone that she was five months pregnant, and that she’d just discovered the baby was a boy, hence the blue petals. The last slide? Her ultrasound picture.

There were shocked yells and gasps, Sarah had a fit, but those involved in the scheme cheered so loudly that I sincerely regret watching the Snapchat recordings with headphones. Apparently, Sarah had been very nasty to her bridesmaids before, driving several of them away and forcing the others to pay ridiculous amounts of money for dresses.

Emma and my cousin were eventually thrown out of the party, but they were all smiles. Sarah’s fuming mother went to confront her outside, and Emma retorted with, “Gentle, gentle! I’m pregnant!” I reckon Sarah doesn’t speak to the majority of those bridesmaids anymore.

yazdon

Sources: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11

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