The struggle to understand the opposite sex is one that is all too familiar to a huge number of people. Sometimes it seems like girls and guys are two alien species who would need the help of Sherlock Holmes to try and make sense of one another.
As if this wasn’t complicated enough in and of itself, the situation gets worse—gentlemen, it turns out there are plenty of things that the ladies have been hiding from your knowledge all these years. These secrets are so deep, dark, and protected that no one who isn’t part of the female club is permitted to know anything about them…unless they have access to Reddit, of course!
Here are 24 secrets about being a girl that most guys do not know—and after reading some of them, maybe they should be glad they don’t!
24. X-Men? More Like X-Women!
My mutant power is a single long forehead hair that emerges about once every six months. Pretty much exactly between my left eyebrow and my hairline. Haven’t found a way to use this to fight crime yet, but there’s always time…
23. Some Struggles Are Best Fought in Private
Do most girls leave their tampons in while pooping and peeing!? I always removed and replaced mine with a fresh one any time I went to the bathroom. I was paranoid that pee would get on the string and get absorbed until it hit the cotton and entered my vagina, causing an infection. I didn’t want to somehow get a gross or dirty tampon either. If I planned on drinking (and therefore peeing a lot) I’d wear a pad instead so I wouldn’t have to mess around too much with a tampon.
Is this not normal procedure? Or did you just drunkenly forget? Genuinely confused.
22. The Human Body Works in Mysterious Ways
One time in high school we were writing a test. I was struggling with the test, so decided to zone out and stare at my hand, as one who is struggling on a test naturally does. Anyways, I notice a hair resting on my hand—below the first knuckle of my pointer finger, near my thumb. I go to sweep it away, and it doesn’t move. How weird. I try again—and then I realize this extremely long strand of hair is attached to my hand. It is a hair I have grown. It was long and black (I have light brown hair) and I kid you not, the length of my entire thumb. I pulled it out and it hurt.
The weirdest part is the day before, whilst studying for said test, I was staring at that hand. There were no creepy long hairs to be seen. That single hair had to have grown speedy quick, because I stared at that hand every day for basically every day of high school and never saw it before.
21. The All Important Halftime Huddle
My friends and I in college would always use the restroom as sort of a half-time team meetup spot throughout the night.
“How are you feeling? Do you think you’re too drunk? Are you cool with that guy dancing on you? Are we leaving separately or together?”
That sort of stuff was always asked.
20. Let’s Set the Record Straight on This One
I play with my boobs when I’m by myself…like a stress ball when I have a tough problem to crack at work.
19. Hair, Hair, Hair, Hair, Everybody, Everywhere
The weird stray hairs on your chin, neck, cheek. I had one on my neck that I never knew about until recently. I tweezed it off, and it was about 3 inches long. How did I not see this before?!
18. One Hair Is All It Takes
I get an occasional hair in one spot on my cheek…it’s always one single hair and usually blonde for some reason (every other hair on my body is nearly black) and it always just springs out of nowhere a solid three or four inches. It’s a mystery, but I swear it’s not just me not noticing it. It literally just shows up out of nowhere every now and again!!!
Now that I think about it, I also recall an occasional long blonde hair springing out of my right eyebrow every now and again, far longer than any of my eyebrow hairs ever manage to get.
17. Wait, You Do What Now?
Late to the party, but…some of us shave our toes.
16. Apparently, Some Guys Are in on the Secrets
I do pluck my chin hairs too! It’s a secret from practically everyone I know except my boyfriend oddly enough. Sometimes I get frustrated at not being able to get one or two of the hairs and hand the tweezers over to him and he’ll do it for me. I have no idea how I lucked out with such a non-judgmental-about-body-hair dude.
15. Brush Your Teeth, Wash Your Face, Pluck Your Chin Whiskers
Plucking my chin whiskers is a daily secret ritual. It’s one of the few grooming things I WILL NOT reveal to my bf.
14. Who Knew Women Had Such a Fun Secret Hobby?
OMG plucking out my little body hairs is so satisfying. My hair is really thick and dark and I have a hormone problem so I get them on my chin a lot. I spend so much time every day plucking my chin and eyebrows and honestly, it’s one of my favorite daily rituals. That feeling when you finally get out a stubborn hair…oh man.
13. The Time It Was Not So Secret
This reminds of me the time I stupidly pointed out a girl’s mustache before, kill me now.
At the dinner table with about 7 other family members, I turned to my cousin and said to her “I didn’t know girls could have a mustache!,” being the idiot 6-year-old I was. She immediately got up to go cry in the bathroom I still cringe.
We laugh about it now about 15 years later, but she was mortified, I was completely embarrassed learning that it’s not okay to point that out. That’s one of my “keeps me up at night cringing” stories, haha.
12. Men Aren’t Always the Ones Who Grow Facial Hair
Ha! I was in the grocery store with my two eldest kids, who were then toddlers, and we passed in the aisle this very statuesque woman with a lush, luxurious mustache, which my daughter then loudly inquired about. “MOMMY, WHY DOES THAT BIG GIANT LADY HAVE SUCH A BIG GIANT MUSTACHE?” I don’t think I’ve ever wanted to die as much as I did at that moment. Kids are, um, really fun sometimes.
11. Let’s Just Clear up This Mis-Conception Right Here and Now
Lots of women don’t primarily take anti-conception pills because they have sex and don’t want to get pregnant, but for various health reasons, e.g. severe acne, passing out from blood loss during period, etc.
10. That’s What I Call a Double Standard
I’ve often wondered why shaving legs is a lot more prevalent than shaving arms.
A lot of women I know have visible hair on their arms, but almost all shave their legs.
Not that I mind the hair on the arms, it doesn’t bother me. And unless a woman is capable of the full-on Chewbacca legs commonly seen on Mediterranean men, I don’t mind some hair on their legs, either. I’m just curious about why it’s important to shave one set of limbs, but not the other.
9. Possibly the Most Important Secret Ever Revealed…
I frequently have snacks in my purse. I don’t tell anybody because I don’t want to share.
8. Sounds Pretty Rough
I have endometriosis, and I pass out from extreme pain. But it’s okay, I am mostly already on the bathroom floor, naked (or just in undies), because I have been having hot and cold shivers on a 15-second alternate cycle for a while at that point, so when I wake up I just crawl/walk to bed and collapse again. Periods are savage, but being able to share this made me feel better.
7. Tricks of the Trade
I went on birth control a few years ago to control migraines. (Also didn’t want to get pregnant but ya know). Oh my god it’s the best thing in the world. Super light periods to the point where I can wear a liner and my period lasts for maybe 1.5 days. No cramps, no heavy days, no discomfort. Never going back!
6. High Expectations From Your Peers
When I was a kid I got called “monkey toes” by another girl because I used my feet to pick stuff up a lot and I have noticeable hair on my toes. That sparked some self-consciousness, not helped in the least by my sister pointing out how “hairy” they are when I was about 15.
Nair was definitely used on them for a while there, before I realized that if someone cares so much about the hair levels on my toes that they wouldn’t want to be with me because of it, then I probably don’t want to be with them in the first place.
5. Up, Down, and All Around
Sometimes when you sneeze up there, you will also sneeze “down there.”
4. Your Secret Is Safe With Me
Some of us even shave our knuckles, too. We’re beasts but no one can ever know.
3. The True Face of Facial Hair
Except for when we’re pooping, my husband and I often consolidate bathroom time, and one evening before bed, he was peeing and I was plucking embarrassingly long (but mercifully blond) hairs from my chin, and he noticed and launched into an anecdote about the World Beard Championship, about which he had recently read, and how there were even women competing. He thought it was awesome that women would rock their facial hair enough to enter it into a beard competition.
I turned from the mirror and fixed him with an icy glare, but he wasn’t picking up what I was putting down, and I had to tell him how much I didn’t enjoy hearing that story just then.
He apologized immediately but didn’t get why I was upset about it until I reminded him of the time I (completely boneheadedly) told him that if he let his beard grow longer, he’d be just the perfect Santa Claus, which really hurt his feelings even though I had meant it as a compliment. At that point, he got it and has never even obliquely mentioned my facial hair (or any other woman’s) ever again.
2. They’re Called Secrets for a Reason, Guys
If it makes you feel any better, after my divorce, I met a guy and about the third time we’d gotten together, he started pointing out the flaws of my body. I don’t think it was negging, exactly, nor did he seem to mean it unkindly. It was like, “Aw, your dimply thighs are so cute and I love your poochy belly!” And then he went on to tell me how much he adored my mustache and he actually ran his finger over my top lip, I guess to demonstrate, just in case I wasn’t aware of my own peach fuzz. And this guy was in his thirties. I didn’t see him again and he didn’t understand why. So if the last time you pointed out a girl’s mustache you were just a dumb kid and not a grown man making a total fool of himself in front of someone he liked, at least you’ve got that going for you!
1. A Struggle That a Man Can Never Understand
In middle school, my Physical Education coach got super mad at me once because I wasn’t doing heavily-weighted leg presses like I usually could, because I was on my period, and she just kept yelling at me to “PUSH! PUSH!” and wouldn’t let up and all of the other students were noticing bc she was yelling so loudly so I had to add more and more weight and I almost shot my tampon straight out.
I noped out of there so hard. I just ran to the bathroom and repaired the damage. It was half in, half out, but that was a terrifying experience as a 13-year-old, and obviously something I have never forgotten.