Deciding to ghost someone can take anywhere from a minute to a few months or even years. Sometimes ghosting is necessary like when the friendship just breeds negativity or when the other friend just does something unforgivable. Whether you’re looking for a reason why you’ve been ghosted or looking for validation for ghosting someone, you can read through the true instances of people ghosting their friends and explaining what brought them to their breaking point.
1. Miss Trustful
I ghosted my friend when I confided in her and told her not to tell anyone—and then she told everyone.
2. It Takes Two
It was after that realization that I was the one initiating all the interactions with them and when I stopped, they don’t notice. That’s why I ghosted them.
3. It’s the Thought That Counts
She came to visit me for the first time since our friendship started, maybe a year or so into it, and told me she had bought her mum a designer bag for Mother’s Day. I thought it was sweet, then I learned the dark truth. She’d bought it with a credit card that she found on the ground near a shopping center.
4. Almighty Dollar
My ex-friend said that money has always been a barrier to our friendship. I’ve never once asked her to pay for anything. On top of that, she made more than I did. 12 years down the drain.
5. Pocket Denial
I ghosted after she pocket called me and overheard her talking crap about my personal issues—things that I had confided in her about.
6. Wherever You Are, I Won’t Be
The girl I was friends with was going crazy. She would break into her ex-boyfriends’ houses in the middle of the night and watch them sleep. She’d throw a brick through their car windows. I knew she would turn on me if anything happened. I moved away and never told her.
7. My Dog Ate My Invite
I ghosted my friend after she lied to me about why she couldn’t come to my wedding after I bought her $100 bridesmaid dress that she couldn’t afford. Of course, after I bought hers I had to buy all the other bridesmaids’ dresses because it wasn’t fair to only do it for her. She told me her family was forcing her to go out of town.
I found out later she was babysitting her grandparents’ dog. But that’s not the worst part. Their house was in town. 10 minutes from the venue site.
8. Way Off Limits
My friend was independently wealthy when her parents sold a car dealership. I realized we lived in different realities when the biggest problem in her life was her parents giving her a limit on her credit card each month, which she found unconscionable. All the while, I was working two jobs, one as a server and one as a music lesson teacher.
She told me that I didn’t understand how hard and unfair she had it because her parents put a $5,000 limit on her credit card. She’s right, I don’t understand.
9. They Warned Me About You
He yelled at someone over the phone that he assured me previously was a dear friend. Hearing him talk to this person the way he did made me realize that I was being willfully ignorant of his manipulative mannerisms and that every single one of my friends who cautioned me about him had been right all these years. Within a week I said goodbye, wished him well, and blocked his number.
10. I’ll Be Watching You
She dropped me off for the first date I’d been on in a long, long time, then did the block, parked in front of the restaurant, and watched us for a couple of hours, eating food like it was the movies. She only told me months later, and even then, was only to make fun of how awkwardly I had behaved. It was the beginning of the end.
11. Got a Bad Feeling
I ghosted them when I realized that they’re never really there for me and our friendship only bred passive-aggressiveness and envy.
12. One-Woman Soap Opera
I ghosted her because she was too much drama. She always told a sob story in order to garner sympathy points. A story that didn’t check out and no one believed her so she got even angrier about it. I decided to book it because her stories and blame-games were getting too much for me.
13. By the Way, Faraway
He ran up my cable bill by ordering PPV then left town without letting me know. He only Facebook messaged me after he was in a different state.
14. Power Tripping
We were friends from work. He had split up from his ex with whom has three kids, and I needed to be closer to work. We went 50/50 on an apartment. With me being the nerd, I agreed to pay the tech bills—internet, phone, cable TV. He agreed to pay the power, as he burnt more when his kids were over on visits.
One day, I came home to a dark house. Hmmmm. I investigate. He hadn’t paid the power for AGES because his new girlfriend wanted the money. But it got even worse. I discovered he wasn’t paying his rent for the same reason. I ended up down $5,000, with no power, no rent money, and was evicted soon after. So yeah, that’s why I ghosted.
15. Knight Watch
When I was in college, my friend and I went out drinking with a mutual friend. We drank enough to decide to all crash at my apartment, which was within walking distance of the bar. My female friend passed out on the sofa as soon as we got there. My friend and I talked for about ten minutes. Then he starting talking about my passed-out female friend that made my blood run cold.
He was looking at her and saying things like “I could do stuff with her right now and she’d never know.” I’m ashamed that I didn’t kick him out. What I did was stay up all night sitting in a chair next to her just to make sure he didn’t try. Screw that guy. Needless to say, I ghosted him after that night.
16. What About Me?
I ghosted them because every conversation was about them and their lives. They rarely asked or were interested in what I had going on. The selfishness was just too much after a while.
17. Blocking the Punchline
I ghosted her when I realized a lot of the things that made her laugh were at my expense. She thrived off of humiliating me.
It was her that burned the bridge. For most of the year and a half that she and I were working at the same place, she bullied me, micromanaged me, made me feel left out, and gaslit me whenever I tried to confront her behavior. It was almost always my fault, nothing I ever did was right. She refused to believe that she has control issues or that she was using me as a punching bag.
She started doing this thing where she wouldn’t text me unless I texted her first, and then get mad if I didn’t text her. So, once she quit the job, I stopped texting her. I haven’t spoken to her at all since August 2019 and I don’t regret it.
19. Hate It or Hate It
I ghosted my friend when I realized she liked hating things more than liking them. I hate beer, hate EDM, hate Marvel, hate Channing Tatum, hate football; these are all things she’s said. It’s ok that we don’t enjoy the same things, but she’d go out of her way to let me know she hated something and rarely talked about what she liked.
20. User Not Found
I ghosted her when I’ve realized she was maybe my best friend, but I was not hers. In fact, I was only “useful” to her.
21. Group Chat Etiquette
Every time there is a girl involved, this dude turns into the cringiest being there is—try-harding so much to get laid. In a group chat, when two girls were talking about what to wear for their girl’s night out, he started bringing up panties, bras, and whatnot. I left that group and started a new one with everyone from the old group except him.
22. Uber Rude, Dude
He knocked on my door one night and said, “Let’s go for a drive.” This wasn’t that odd since I love driving to cool my head. So, we start driving, and maybe 10 minutes in, he starts directing me on where to go. He asks me if I mind making a quick stop. I’m annoyed but say sure. We end up at this sketchy house in the middle of nowhere and my buddy goes inside but tells me to wait in the car.
Almost 45 minutes later he comes back out and says that we got to go to the bar. It takes me about 10 seconds to realize this jerk went in there to get illegal substances and was already high. In my car! So, I tell him that I’m not feeling it tonight and drop him off at his place. I’ve spoken to him once after that when he wanted to hang and I told him I’m nobody’s errand boy.
I never cared if he got the message because I haven’t spoken to him since.
23. Love You to Death
I loved the girl I ghosted. She was so clutch for me when my life was in ruins. The issue was that she and I both had substance abuse issues at the same time and both came from the same types of affluent families. For whatever reason, I got clean and I turned my life around while she got worse. It was really bad.
I got clean and only recently, seven years later, have started experimenting with maybe one or two beers per month if I’m out with my husband. She ended up with this awful guy who she will not give up who got her hooked on bad stuff. I was there for her for a long time. After rehab and a few arrests, she stayed at my house for a bit on two different occasions.
But the last time she did, she broke my heart. She tore my house apart looking for alcohol, which we didn’t have, then stole my ID so she could get Postmates to deliver vodka to my house, and nearly crashed my car by grabbing and yanking my steering wheel while I was going 80mph up I-95. I’ve tried so many times to help her get and stay clean, but she keeps going back to that guy and her triggers are my triggers.
I had to distance myself because she was making me relapse.
24. No Correlationship
Whenever I would talk about feeling stressed and my mental health not being in an optimal condition, she would say something along the lines of, “Oh come on, you don’t have actual problems, there are people out there that actually have depression, anxiety, etc.” She always downplayed the struggles I would be going through, just because it wasn’t the worst possible thing that could happen.
25. Respond Unkind
I ghosted her because of the fact that she wasn’t putting effort in our friendship and just texted if she needed something. She always made me feel like I am not welcome and wanted. So, thanks but no thanks.
26. More Than Just a Cat Fight
We had been friends for years like a long term sisterhood kind of thing. I did so much for her over the years and she didn’t even bat an eyelash. I asked her to watch my cat while I went on a 10-day vacation. A cat that she also “loved” because it belonged to her family before me. She agreed to watch the cat. I even called her about four days into my vacation to ask her again to go and check on my cat to make sure it had food, water, and a few scritches.
When I came home, I couldn’t believe my eyes. My cat’s water and food bowl were bone dry and she let out the most tormenting “meows” I have ever heard. My “friend” didn’t check on her once in the 10 days that I was gone. She played stupid when I confronted her about it and said “Oh! I completely forgot!”
That was the beginning of the end.
27. One Friend at a Time
A few years back, this friend of mine started hanging out with a new friend. That’s fine, I know I’m not her only friend. Then, while we were hanging out as planned, she would leave to go hang out with her new friend. She’d break plans with me to hang out with her, all the while tagging her on Facebook, so none of this was being hidden.
Three years later she reaches out to me and apologizes. It’s genuine, as she mentioned insightful things that she would have no way of knowing unless she had grown and been very honest with herself. We are friends for another two years when she starts to hang out with another new friend…repeat. I should’ve seen it coming.
28. Not the Boss of Me
He became obsessed with me, telling me he loved me and things in front of my friends, basically acting as if I was his girlfriend, became super angry and jealous whenever I talked to my other guy friends, told me that when I visited him in the US from Canada, I would have to sleep in his bed. After that, I made it very clear we were not nor ever will be a thing.
Then he started reaching out to my friends to get them to convince me to talk to him again they told him to shove it after they found out why I ghosted him. It’s been a few months now and I haven’t regretted the decision.
29. There is a God
I was disinvited from his wedding, in which I was a groomsman because he found out I wasn’t a Christian. We’d been friends for a decade up until that point.
30. What Are Friends For?
This old friend was pretty aggressive with selling Monat to me and a couple of other friends we shared, so much so that she started posting passive-aggressive messages about finding out who your true friends are when they don’t support you and stuff like that. I was trying to be nice and purchased two bottles to support her just once. When she charged me, she had tacked on a bunch of “fees” that she didn’t mention before.
One hundred dollars spent to learn that real friends don’t strong-arm you to buy and upcharge you their garbage products that are part of multi-level marketing schemes.
31. Calculated Collateral
She started drama between everyone. It was just a game to her to ruin friendships of people that she wasn’t even close friends with. It’s nearly 10 years later and I’m told she still tries it on with her wider circle or rather, her husband’s circles, as she no longer has any friends of her own anymore, but they all treat it like a joke and ignore her, going so far as to warn others in a jokey manner.
32. Think of Me
A couple of years ago, I lost my job. She didn’t say she was sorry to hear that, ask if I was okay, or anything. She ghosted me for a week and then when I heard from her, she said, “Now that you have this wonderful life, I guess you don’t need me.” What wonderful life? I had lost my job and health insurance and didn’t know what I was going to do, but then I found out what she meant. It was so absurd.
She assumed things were great because I had marked on Facebook that I was going to some activities, which had all been planned before the job loss. I realized this was not a friend and how incredibly selfish she was.
33. Off Beat
A while back, I asked my mom why she had stopped hanging out with one of her good friends. Like, they’d do coffee dates, my mom would sometimes play bass in her band, their drummer was another family friend. Her reply was, “I realized that every time we hung out, she was complaining about her other friends to me. It made me wonder what she was saying to them about me.”
34. Lame Aspirations
I ghosted my closest mate of over 15 years. He had no initiative, slept all the time, never initiated anything. He never lived out of home, and slept in his own filth, grew obese, hoarded crappy Japanese toys that filled up his dad’s house. He became more and more annoying as a person until I couldn’t bear him—constant one-upmanship, or little put-downs, or bragging over embarrassing stuff.
I moved cities. When he came to visit, he annoyed and offended my friends so much they never forgot. I cut all contact. I always ask for news but he has alienated all his old friends.
35. Don’t Try Too Hard
He was a decent person but he wouldn’t stop trying to impress everyone he met. He wanted to be seen as a bad dude and would over-exaggerate his accomplishments to everyone who would listen. The last straw for me and another friend was when he got upset at us after we called him out for lying and calling himself a hero for perks.
We were there and knew what really happened. I hope he has learned his lesson.
36. See Ya Later, Radiator
I sold her my 14-year-old car, which had been serviced every six months and ran like a dream. We had been best friends since we wear four years old. After 46 years of going through kindergarten, school, marriage, babies, divorce—we were always there for each other. We knew each other like sisters. But then it all blew up.
A month into her owning the car, it broke down. She was furious and accused me of deliberately selling her a broken-down car to profit at her expense. She sold it to the tow truck driver. I asked why she didn’t tell me, because I’d have paid for the repairs or given her the money back. She said she’d only consider continuing the friendship if I apologized for taking advantage of her.
She said some wicked, mean stuff. She wouldn’t answer my calls and wrote really venomous emails. It was horrible, so I stopped replying. Months later I saw the car parked at my local supermarket and the new owner said he was a tow truck driver and bought it from an angry woman who hadn’t realized she cross had threaded the radiator cap earlier that day and it ran dry.
It had only needed a new radiator cap and water. She wrote a few more times, still stuck on her theory that I deliberately sold her a wreck, and I really wanted to exonerate myself by telling her the radiator cap info, but I ghosted her. So far five years have passed. I miss her and sometimes I cry about the loss of our friendship, but that was pure, unexpected, shocking venom.
37. Exclusive Events
I invited two of my friends to an outing two weeks in a row and they canceled the day of both times. Then, the following week, they went with their boyfriends to an event with tickets that they had bought from me. They did not invite me or my fiancé. So yeah, I blocked them on everything without any explanation.
We’d had a falling out before and reconnected, this just made me realize we shouldn’t have reconnected.
38. Too Much Too Soon
I feel so bad about this whole situation in hindsight, but I had a friend that I did not feel I was that close with, maybe we hung out six times? A little strange, a little unlikeable, a little cocky, but normal enough. We had a common interest which was really what kept us hanging, or else I wouldn’t have befriended him.
Anyway, one day he gives me this heart to heart where he admits he’s never really had a real friend before and I was his first real friend. I was shocked. I just took it bad. It felt, too intimate, too close. Like he was professing his love for me or something. I can’t remember the details, if it was cold turkey or gradual, so maybe not an official ghost, but eventually ghosted him because he left a note at my house once and I just didn’t get back to him.
I feel pretty terrible about it now, I hope he’s doing okay.
39. Final Destination
I was the best man for my friend’s wedding. It was a destination wedding and we stayed in different hotels. He called me to set a dinner date and they no-showed. I figured they were tired from travel but they posted on Facebook where they were out partying it up with her best friend. When I called him about it, I was told I was annoying.
I told him that all the times I had been there for him—including being the only person to go see him after his first wife died when he lived several states away, lent him money when he was unemployed, and that I thought we should be treated better than that and that they were pretty rude not to even call and let us know they weren’t coming. His reply was devastating.
I was told to “grow up” I laughed, said whatever dude, and just hung up. My wife and I spent the day being tourists. He called that night after we were asleep and left like 10 messages wanting us to meet them out. The longer into the night, the more the drunk message. He was crying in the latter stages. My wife and I got up really early the next day to go scuba diving.
I figured I would call him when we were done and back ashore. By the time we got off the boat, got a text saying we were “uninvited.” I have never communicated with him since and never will again.
40. Flaking Inconsiderate
I invited her, her husband, her sister, and her mother to my wedding. It cost me $130 for their food. She RSVP-ed for four, but never showed up and never explained why she couldn’t be there. She never apologized and sent a $20 gift for all four adults. She had been a flake for years and I contemplated whether or not to even invite her to the wedding… but after that? Straight up ghosted.
I have not talked to her since and won’t.
41. Could’ve Said Something
When I asked my best friend from childhood if he would like to go grab a beer and just chat about life. He said yeah, sounds great and that he would love to catch up and talk about stuff just like in the old times. We were supposed to meet at one place but he didn’t arrive. I messaged him after 10 minutes but got no response.
Later, I found out he was too busy partying with his friends and couldn’t be bothered to at least send me one text. I haven’t talked to that guy ever since.
42. Tipping the Scales
I asked to borrow a set of scales from a friend and let him know I’d return them in a few days’ time after a little trip out of town. While I was out of town, he messaged me demanding them back, I politely reminded him I was out of town for a couple of days, but would happily drop them off when I came back, though. He called me a liar and said I was in town and that he’d get them off me if I didn’t bring them to him.
My roommate later messaged me telling me he was sitting out the front of our place with a couple of his friends with the lights on the front door, and he left after two hours. I returned the scales promptly once I came back and never spoke to him again.
43. Didn’t Get the Misogyny
I got tired of hearing about his “crazy” girlfriend and how much she apparently hated me. His attitudes towards women were pretty annoying, and I started to feel like the token female friend that was just there so he could ask me “Why do women do that” or “Why did woman x do y.” We sometimes hung out outside of work but more and more it seemed like he would only contact me if he needed something.
He had bad boundaries about personal vs. professional and, for example, would expect me to provide emotional support while I was busy trying to do work. So, I just dialed everything way back. I’m still polite to him, say “hey” if I see him around, but don’t make an effort to hang out. It helps that we don’t work at the same place anymore.
I spoke to someone recently and apparently, he’s telling people that I “hate his guts” and we have “bad blood.” What a drama llama.
44. Will Be Late for a Very Important Date
She couldn’t be on time ever in a very drastic way. We would make group plans to meet for drinks at say 7. I would arrive at 7:30 knowing she was going to be late. When I would text at 7:45 she would say she was “leaving her house” which was five minutes away—and then not show up until 9:30. The worst was once we made plans to go to a museum downtown from the suburbs.
We were also meeting a friend who was already downtown after having gotten out of class at 1. So, I met the downtown friend at 1. At 1:30, when the late friend wasn’t there, we called and got no answer. She called back around 2 saying she was “leaving her house.” The museum closed at 5. At 3:30 she still had not arrived, so my other friend and I are were pretty angry at this point.
We decided it wasn’t even worth going to the museum at this point so we went for a late lunch and drinks. The late friend finally showed up at 4:30 pissed that we didn’t want to go to the museum, which closed in 30 minutes at this point, and that we ate without her. She had the nerve to accuse us of wasting HER time driving downtown and paying to park when she wasn’t even going to the museum, even though we had been texting her updates of our plans the entire time.
This was every time we made plans. She was always at least two hours late and that was in a good day. She was always mad too that soon after she arrived people would start leaving because they had already been there several hours. Every time I and others tried talking to her about it, she would get angry at us for not accepting who she is and she would make up excuses for that specific incident.
After about two years of this nonsense, I just decided it was super disrespectful and if she couldn’t respect my time, I couldn’t be friends with her. Since I had tried discussing the problem before and it didn’t help and she would get angry, I just started ignoring her completely.
45. Through Thick and Thin
We were friends for 13 years and I had helped her through a lot of rough spots. She was living with my family for a while and then moved out because she was going to a trade school. She met a guy there. They fell in love, blah blah blah. Fast forward, they’re getting married. She asks me to be her maid of honor, I say yes.
She is a bit of a Bridezilla, which is understandable, it’s her wedding. Whatever, I let it go and do what she asks. So, I drive 19 hours and through two states to get to her wedding. I get to the wedding venue and she’s throwing a fit about there not being any power because she failed to apply for a permit to use the park. This was in the middle of January.
We had no walk-through prior to walking down the aisle and no rehearsal. She didn’t get enough food for everyone, and there wasn’t anywhere to get ready. Basically, it was just not planned out at all and she was blaming it on everyone but herself, when she said she wanted to do it all. Whatever, it’s her wedding.
The wedding comes and goes, then me and two other bridesmaids go back to our hotel room. I get a text from her that I’ll never forget. It said: “I don’t appreciate you talking about me behind my back, we’re done here.” I was confused because I hadn’t talked about her at all. I guess one of her other friends was jealous that I was the maid of honor and not her, so she went to the bride and lied.
I was tired of being taken advantage of and upset that she would throw away a 13-year friendship over he-said-she-said. I blocked her and that was that.
46. No Payback
Yes. I’m normally super against ghosting but I feel like this one was justified. We had a really close but volatile relationship. He had a temper, and would just blow up over little things, and then a few days later would have this crazy manipulative way of minimizing his meanness and acting like I was overreacting and that I had been the one in the wrong and that he was just reacting to my wrongness.
We were both living abroad as roommates, which I had known was a mistake from the start, but he had gotten mad when I said I didn’t want to live with him and I gave in, and the tension just grew and grew. He owed me some money, and I asked him to pay me before he left to go home from this time abroad. He blew up like he has never blown up before, and called me absolutely horrible names and just went into this crazy tirade of verbal abuse.
That’s when I knew. At that point, I decided I was fully done with him forever. He has tried multiple times since then to reach out and apologize over the past few years, but I will not respond. I know how manipulative he is, and I know that if I let myself get sucked back in, it’ll just start the cycle again. So, he doesn’t get a single word out of me.
It’s actually been really hard for me and makes me sad because I really miss him as a friend, but I just couldn’t deal with it anymore.
47. Severing Ties
She was my direct superior and had a wide swath of emotional issues that she refused to get treatment for. She would consistently complain about money, even though she was the highest-paid employee of the company minus the owner. She spent what she did make on “self-care,” AKA online shopping. She would dump their responsibilities on my plate and then get raises based on my performance, which is really bogus.
What ended our friendship was when I confronted her about the issues I was having. She said she had been taking her frustrations out on me because we hadn’t done any “drunken venting” lately. I just stopped communicating about anything that wasn’t work-related. She ended up being fired because another employee finally told the owner what was up.
48. Snapped Out of It
I used Snapchat to send her a picture of her boyfriend. I was a few people behind him in line at the store, and the message said: “Look who I found.” It was Christmas time. He was holding a blender. I was stunned by her reaction. She starts going off about how I ruined her Christmas. Apparently, I accidentally ruined the surprise of her Christmas present.
I apologized but pointed out that the other day she told me she already knew what her Christmas presents were going to be. She continues to freak out and tell me I’m annoying. She tells me that now her boyfriend will never like me. So, I ask her why she told him she knew what she was getting for Christmas and why did she have to ruin it for him too.
I tell her she could have just opened it on Christmas and pretended she didn’t know what she was getting. But she already knew what she was getting. She told me this long list of things a couple of days previously. Plus, her boyfriend is a pushover and gets her everything she wants. She continues to call me annoying and a jerk. I say well, guess I’m a jerk and promptly block her temporarily to ignore her barrage of texts.
She hits me up every now and then sometimes I give her brief responses. I don’t think she understands.
49. Not Very Neighborly
My “best friend” growing up was a kid I lived next door to from the age of 9 until 18. At school, he would pretend not to know me so he could seem cool to the popular kids. He would invite me places then ditch me. He would break plans so he could free up time to hang with his cooler friends. That got real old, real fast.
When I was 18, I moved to the other side of town. We were growing apart more and more but I would still try to hang out with him when I could. Well, one day he asked me to come over to his house and play Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater when it first came out. I was so pumped that I walked three miles to his house only to be told that he was going to go hang out at his other friend’s house instead but could I babysit his brothers and sisters.
Needless to say, things weren’t the same after that. I stopped answering his calls. He would stop by and I would leave just to avoid him. He would make plans to hang out and I never bothered going. I just gave up on trying to be friends with that guy. I tried so hard for almost 10 years just to be a good friend to him and he just pushed me to the wayside.
Maybe I’m a jerk for stooping to his level but I don’t care anymore.
50. How Doggy Dare You?
I was getting super close to an old friend from college, his new wife, and their kids. We were going out of town for like a week and asked them to dog-sit. It was the worst-case scenario. They neglected my dogs completely. There were at least two days where the dogs didn’t get let out or fed, and they once left my younger dog in his kennel for like 24 hours.
When I asked why there were pee and poop in his crate, their response was “If I had known it was there, I would have cleaned it up.” Like. You’re missing the point man. I’m not mad I had to clean it up. I’m mad that you NEGLECTED MY DOGS. He never went potty in the house, let alone his crate. I was livid. And if that wasn’t enough, the house was a wreck.
They took like $40 out of our change jar, let her kid lose all the pieces to my vacuum, let her kid play with a pound container of garlic salt and spill it everywhere—but don’t worry, she swept it underneath the couch! They used up all our tea and coffee and put a whole pot of macaroni down the garbage disposal, giving us plumbing problems to this day.
For months it was like finding little rotten cherries on top, as I discovered yet another awful thing they did.
51. Big Oversteps
She became very weird, very quickly. About two months into the friendship, I went on a ride with her to pick someone up and I was pretty buzzed since I had been having a few drinks with my husband that night. I lost my phone in her car and the car was too messy to find it. It was also dead, so I couldn’t call it. She said she would look for it the next day.
I wake up the next morning and my husband gets a text from her that she found my phone, but that she had to work and she would bring it to me after work. Okay, that’s fine. As the day goes on, I’m getting antsy about getting my phone back, and I text her around 9 pm asking if I can just come to pick it up from her at her workplace.
She insists that she will bring it, and says she had a bad day and wanted to talk anyway, so bringing it would give her an excuse to stop by. Alright then. I know she gets out of work at 10 PM, yet she didn’t show up at my house until 3 AM. When she walked in, she hands me my phone and I notice it’s 50% charged. She has Android and I have an iPhone. How would she charge it and WHY would she charge it?
Then she starts saying, “Your sister called a few times, oh and your mom texted you and said to give her a call when you can, and your friend Samantha texted and said she had something to tell you…” all the while she has a smirk on her face. She must have noticed the look on my face because suddenly she starts telling me that she went through all my photos, and that “There are a few interesting ones” she saw, and that she read my texts…and she’s saying it in a tone that suggests she thinks this is normal and a cute funny thing that friends just do.
That’s when I made a truly disturbing realization. She left work at 10 PM, bought a charger to fit my phone, went home and charged my phone up, and then sat there for hours while she went through every photo on my phone, read every text message thread, read my social media messages, everything. Only when she had seen everything did she actually get in the car to bring me my phone.
I was so furious and felt so sickened with that level of privacy invasion and audacity that I spoke to her only once after that. I haven’t since and never will again. That sealed the deal for me. I had noticed her before looking over my shoulder at my texts, grabbing my phone out my hand, and scrolling through when I was only trying to show her ONE photo, acting really weird in general about my privacy.
So that entire situation was the last straw. I have never ever had a friend do something like that before and I’m 30 years old. Weird as hell.
52. My Best Friend’s Wedding
When my best friend met her now-husband, a guy I had known and chilled with through mutual friends, she became incredibly toxic. She would put me down constantly for small things I did in the past, like my poor makeup skills, getting too drunk, people I’d dated, etc. Her partner also blamed me for her past behavior?
I knew it wasn’t healthy, but he became her fiancé. The wedding wasn’t going to be too far down the road so I wanted to be there to support her since we had been friends for so long. First, she scheduled it on Canadian Thanksgiving (we’re Canadian). I study in the US and she knew that it wasn’t a holiday for me, making it difficult for me to attend.
But she’d been the one to ask me about mutually convenient dates! It was her idea to pick a date where I could attend everything. I thought it was selfish, but I wasn’t going to tell her that because I didn’t feel I should have to point it out. And I know THIS is selfish, but it’s an important holiday to me also and I prefer to spend it doing the traditions myself and my spouse have started. Even if I was off school, I would’ve probably wanted to stay in the States with him rather than fly home.
She also continually made comments about my financial situation and my relationship, about my partner and how he doesn’t care about my wellbeing, etc. She’d say how her partner does, and how my partner should be paying for me to live and go to school, etc., just absolutely crazy nonsense. I couldn’t do it anymore.
I realized seeing her texts pop up made me feel the same way you imagine/feel in an abusive romantic relationship, and I just couldn’t be present in the relationship anymore. I didn’t technically ghost her. I just said I can’t commit to the events anymore and I was sorry, it was all too much to balance with school but I wish them the best, I feel we are just growing in different directions.
Naturally, she didn’t take it too well. We didn’t talk after that day. I thought I was justified but I still feel pretty guilty most the time. I did bail on my best friend’s wedding, after all.