Everybody keeps secrets, but some just happen to be a lot worse than all the rest. These Redditors share everything from their biggest mistakes to buried family drama. Life is hard, but twisted secrets make it even harder.
1. Well, That Was Lit
Two friends and I messing about with aerosol cans started a fire in the woods near our homes. It quickly turned into a disaster. We ran home asap and called the fire department saying we’d “found” a fire. They took quite a while to get it under control. But, it turned out there was a local journalist embedded with the brigade who took our pictures.
We ended up being in the paper the next day under the headline: “Hero Boys Alert Fire Brigade". We were praised by the headmaster at our next school assembly, and my mom still has the news article mounted in a frame, 30 years on. I haven’t seen those two friends for a few years, but we’re still sworn to secrecy
2. Wrongly Rewarded
Seems like a good time as any to tell this story. When I was a teenager, my parents were divorced yet lived within walking distance of each other. I would often times walk back and forth between their homes for whatever reason. I got to know a family that lived in the house on the corner of the block my mother lived on.
One day, as I was passing this house, I noticed a wallet on the ground. I picked up and opened the wallet. I noticed the address on the ID was the house on the corner and it belonged to the mom of the family, a very nice lady. I'm still ashamed of what I did. Being a teenager, I took all of the money out of the wallet (about $50). I then went back to the home and returned the wallet explaining I found it down the street.
The mother was very relieved and grateful. What always weighed on me is what happened a few weeks later. I passed the corner house as I often did, and the lady stopped me. She wanted to thank me for returning the wallet and handed me a $50 bill. I tried to refuse it, but she insisted. I was rewarded for stealing. I’ve never really had the heart to tell anyone this story.
3. Two-Timing Trickster
I had an uncle who was a railroad engineer and worked the Terre Haute, Indiana, to Danville, Illinois line. He never took a day off from his one day there, one day back route. At his funeral, a strange woman came into the funeral home with some older children. No one knew who she was.
Finally, my grandma introduced herself to the woman and asked who she was. The woman said, “I’m Mrs. So and So. I’m here for my husband’s funeral”. It turned out that my uncle had two families, one in Terre Haute and one in Danville. I didn’t find out about this until I was an adult.
My mom, grandma, aunt, and sister kept it a secret for decades.
4. Took The Pain Too Far
When I was around 10 years old, I decided I wanted the day off school. So, I said to my mom I was having really bad stomach cramps. Because I’d done this a few times before, she didn’t quite believe me, so I exaggerated the pain a lot to make it believable. By the evening, I still didn’t want her to think I had made it up and miraculously got better, so I said the pain was getting worse and worse.
By that point, she phoned my dad explaining that I was in so much pain. He advised phoning an ambulance, as it could be appendicitis. I was in too deep, but it was too late to stop now. I couldn’t go back, as she had already called the ambulance and I knew how much trouble I would get into with my mum and dad.
I was taken to the hospital where they checked me over, but I just kept on feigning the pain. They did observations over the night and into next day and weren’t sure what it could be, They sent me for scans and so on, on my appendix, as that’s what kept being suggested. The scans came back as normal, but whenever I was being checked by the doctor, I would scream in pain.
They then came to the decision that even though my appendix wasn’t inflamed on the scan, they didn’t want to risk it and decided they would operate. I ended up having my appendix out for no reason. I have never admitted to either parent even though it’s going on nearly 20 years now. I’m a bit concerned that the NHS was so quick to operate on something that didn’t even look like a problem.
I also wonder what the surgeon thought when he took it out. As far as I’m aware, nothing was said about my non-inflamed appendix.
5. Passed A Failing Student
I had a sweet, wonderful student who had been in foster care, but his mom worked hard to get him back and she did. He had to take a very important state exam and she called me and asked if he passed it. I looked at the grades and saw he did and said so. She burst into tears of joy, but I had made a terrible mistake. Just as the words left my lips, I saw I had read the wrong score.
He had failed. I should have just told her the truth, but I couldn't bear it. So, I changed his grade to passing. No one knew. That was the only time I ever did that. It could have cost me my license, but it was worth it. The weird thing is, when my awful corrupt principal pressured me to change other students' scores so we could raise our pass rate, I refused. I never told anyone what I did for my student.
He went into the Armed Forces, was extremely successful there, and today he has a great wife and kids. So, I think I did the right thing. Forget those tests. They aren't human.
6. No Luck For These Irish Lads
Part of my mom's side is very, very convinced they're Irish in all the American "kiss me, I'm Irish" ways. My grandparents took a trip there and spent a lot of time at a local pub, getting to know Irish singers and poets; my cousins have very Irish names, etc.
I took a few ancestry tests to nail down the rest of my mom's side, and realized there was something weird going on. There was not a single percent Irish in any of them.
The family name, which is common among Irish-Americans, is actually a Swiss surname that got translated at some point, according to the genealogy trace I also had done. My now-deceased grandparents wanted their ashes spread in the Irish Sea, and my mom and her siblings are planning a big trip to do it.
I'm taking the secret to my grave.
7. Project Problems
In the late ‘90s. I was nine years old and wanted to call my friend. My dad was napping on the couch, and my mom was working on the computer in the den. I picked up the phone and heard the dreaded dial-up sound. When I realized what I'd done, my stomach dropped. I suddenly remembered my mom was working on a major project for her job and knew I messed up. I heard my mom shout from the den, while my dad slept through.
Panicking, I left the phone on the table, ran into the backyard, and climbed up the apple tree. My mom came storming into the backyard and asked if I picked up the phone after she had told me dozens of times not to do that when she needed the internet. I asked her how it could have been me when I was up in a tree, clearly far away from the phone.
She gave me that mom stare for a full minute before going inside and ripping my dad a new one. Twenty-five years later, she still sometimes brings up the project my dad almost ruined. Sorry, Dad.
8. Late-night Soup
Once, I woke up in the middle of the night, but my wife was not in bed. I called her, but she did not answer, so I got up and went to look for her. I searched the entire second floor, but I didn’t find her. Then, I decided to go down, and for some reason, I was afraid to turn on the light. When I was near the kitchen, I heard quiet strange sounds.
I quietly looked inside—but I wasn't prepared for what I saw. I saw an open refrigerator, and next to it, my wife was eating soup straight from the pan at 3:00 AM and chomping loudly. I crept up behind her and when I was next to her, I whispered, “Dear, do you want me to warm up your soup?” At the same moment, she dropped the pan and splashes of soup flew all over the kitchen. She ran away screaming loudly.
She didn't talk to me the whole next day. Then, she made me promise not to tell anyone about what happened. I hope she does not read this.
9. Swinging Singles
My dad's biological father is his adopted father's brother, so, his uncle. His biological dad and his girlfriend were both underage, and she ended up having a kid. In order to keep it hush-hush, she had the kid and gave it to her boyfriend’s brother, who was of age and married. My dad didn’t know this.
In addition, my sister is only my half-sister because my parents would swap partners. My mom got pregnant when she and my dad were trying for a baby, but somehow she got pregnant by someone else instead. My dad was somewhat aware of it, but the real father doesn't know this, nor does my sister. It gets even crazier.
They lost all contact with the guy. Then, when my sister turned 20, she moved out to go live with her husband in a new state. She got a job and moved around within the company. She became great friends outside of work with her boss, who just so happened to be her biological dad.
Freepik, wayhomestudio
10. Wiki Creator
So, my grandfather had a hand in making one of the World Series trophies back in the day. He never got any credit, but we have photos and parts from his prototype. When I was a teen, I added what I knew to the trophy's Wikipedia page (why not?). A few years later, I got a call from my mom who was almost in tears (of joy). She found that wiki page and was freaking out.
She was so happy he finally got "credit". She ended up making really fancy shadow boxes of the wiki page printed out, copies of the photos, and other baseball stuff. She made one for each of her siblings. I've had to just bite my tongue every time I go over there and see this thing hanging prominently in the living room.
11. Gifted A Trip
I used to work for the airport and got very discounted fares for friends and family. My mom was going on a trip with her friend to Key West and they were going to drive, since flying was too expensive. I talked her into letting me handle the flying arrangements and they'd save a ton. A typical $500+ flight turned into like $250 for both of them combined.
Well, I was still kinda new at booking reservations and whatnot, and I ended up messing up the reservation. I think I only booked it for one way or something. I panicked—then did the only thing I could think of. The night before their flight, I rebooked it, and paid the $450 for both of them (money I really didn't have) and have since never told my mom.
It was for Mother's Day, so I figured that was my gift to her. It's been nearly 10 years since.
12. Bait And Snitch
I was used as a test dummy to see if my uncle acted inappropriately with children. My family was suspicious, but instead of doing anything responsible, they decided to set me up as bait. I was only a toddler, so they figured since I couldn’t remember, it wouldn’t matter.
They had him babysit me for a couple of hours and recorded it. I was never supposed to know, but one day, my aunt spilled the beans to me by accident.
Freepik, @ user3802032
13. Say Goodbye To The Old Country
My great-great-grandfather moved from Romania to America and got married to another Romanian immigrant shortly after he arrived. Once they married, he insisted they start using "American" names, only speak English in public, never return to Romania, and refrain from communicating with family in the old country.
When my great-grandmother—his daughter—was a teenager, the rest of the family made a disturbing discovery. Turns out, he'd actually abandoned his first wife and three children in Romania.
He left them in extreme poverty when he came to the States and married my great-great-grandmother. He was apparently a heavy drinker and paranoid all the time. His mental health suffered a lot as he aged, so I'm assuming guilt was factored into that.
Oddly enough, my great-grandmother went on to become a matchmaker through her Orthodox church by helping families with young female relatives still in Romania connect with families with young men in the US to arrange marriages so they could come Stateside.
14. Quit School
I quit school in the eighth grade. I just stopped going. When it was time to go to school, I just went into the forest, waited there until I knew my parents had gone to work, then I went back in to play with my N64, draw, or whatever I found interesting at the time. I hated everything about school, but especially the other kids.
The teachers didn't really ask, either (which I was afraid of, of course). They knew I was not well liked I think, and also often bullied by some of the kids. So, I guess they thought it was for the better. This was in the ‘80s, so it was a very different time from now. I never cared telling my parents…I guess I could tell them now, but there's no reason to either.
15. Chatty Grandma
Maybe this isn't a secret because my husband knows, but he's my best friend and I tell him everything. My grandma called me around my birthday and I hadn't talked to her in a while, so I was excited to share some recent life updates with her. I was in for a rude awakening. She ended up talking about herself for the entire duration of the phone call.
She spoke about some friend’s experiences (I didn't know who they were), TV show episodes she'd seen recently, and a bunch of other stuff I didn't know or really care about. She didn't ask once if there was anything new in my life. I wasn't at all surprised that this is how the conversation turned out, as this is how they usually went.
I tried to be open and friendly still and show interest in the conversation, but it was really disheartening that she never let me get two words in about what was going on with me. Normal people call each other to find out what's going on in each other's lives, right? After over an hour, she said, "Well, I guess it's late there," and we said our goodbyes.
She passed a few months later and that was the last one-on-one conversation I ever had with her. So, here's the secret. I still haven't cried over her passing, and I think this last conversation is partially why. I love my grandma and I had so many good memories with her as a child, but it was stuff like this that made me grow apart from her in my adulthood, I guess. Maybe I'll cry over it one day, but I don’t know.
16. The Lie That Led To A Broken Heart
My great-grandma told my grandpa that the Jewish girl he liked was taken to a concentration camp when in truth, they fled. The consequences of this lie were devastating.
My grandpa met my grandma shortly thereafter, and they got married. But apparently, my grandpa still talked about this other girl from time to time, that she was the one who got away and how awful it all was. Many years went by, and my aunt and dad were born.
My grandpa was walking around town and met the girl from back then that he had liked. He was totally shocked and found out that he had been lied to for all that time. My grandpa got sick pretty soon after that incident and passed when my dad was only five years old.
My grandma later once said she believed he passed from a broken heart.
17. Safe Passage
My Welsh great-grandmother had a passage booked on the Titanic in 1912. She ended up not going because she "fell ill". It turned out it was actually an out-of-wedlock pregnancy that gave her such bad morning sickness she couldn't go. She lost the baby and came the following year, in 1913, and met my great-grandfather.
She only told my mom, who she helped raise during the summers, who then told me. Great-grandma getting knocked up saved an entire branch of our family tree!
18. Traveling Turtle
One time in high school, I took this giant turtle statue from a random yard and put it in my grandma's yard as a joke. It was around the time the gnome was traveling the world. Well, it turned out that the old lady was my grandma's frenemy and when she came over and saw her turtle, she wanted answers. Well, my grandma's answer was, "It just showed up".
That did not satisfy her frenemy and they got into a huge fight about it. The other old lady passed a few years ago...I feel bad I never told her that my grandma didn't take the turtle—I did.
19. Procrastinator Problems
Procrastination has taken over my life. I have been taking an online course since 2017. Sometimes, I start off on a good note and do my coursework but for the most part, I’ve been failing each and every single time. I have failed this term also. I might get lucky and get financial aid for the next term, but I fear I will do the same thing again.
The worst part is, no one knows why everything is falling apart, and I can't bring myself to tell them. What is wrong with me?!
20. A Painful Past
I always wondered why my grandmother hated my aunt—her older sister. She was a staunch Christian woman who even owned a church with her husband.
My aunt did a lot for my grandma while she was really sick, so when my grandma told me that she didn’t want my aunt anywhere near her during the last days of her life or at her funeral, it confused me. I asked why, but she just made it known very firmly she didn’t want her around.
My grandma raised me. We were best friends, and I was the first and favorite grandchild. All my cousins even told me after she passed, they all knew I was the favorite because of the unbreakable bond we had.
So, when members of the family started coming up to me asking why my aunt wasn’t allowed near her my grandmother’s bedside or at her funeral, I said I didn’t really know. I just knew I would make sure my grandma’s last wishes were fulfilled.
During my first job ever in high school, my boss was my grandma’s best friend from when they were in middle school through high school. They had a falling out because my grandma went down the wrong path shortly after high school. They never got back in touch again, except for the occasional hello at the store.
We crossed paths not too long ago, exchanged our memories of my grandma, and talked about what I was doing. She then asked, “How were you able to keep a straight face around your aunt after all the fake Facebook posts she puts up about your grandma after what she did?"
I knew my aunt had done something when they were younger, but it was never disclosed, and I never pushed further. I could have never guessed what it actually was. She told me my aunt inappropriately touched my grandma when she was between the ages of 10–13, and my aunt was 14–17. But that wasn't the worst part.
She would even let a couple of her boyfriends have their way with my grandma when their parents were away working. I cried for my grandma. She wasn’t perfect, but she didn’t deserve that and all the pain that she carried with her until her last breath when she was only 68.
Her friend thought I knew because of how close my grandma and I were. At that moment, it all made sense why my grandma acted the way she did around my aunt and why my aunt always tried to do everything for her to make up for what she had done. I told her not to tell anyone, and she hadn’t until she told me.
I blocked my aunt and almost that entire side of the family. I was already in no contact with my biological mom and dad. I will never tell a soul because I know that if this came out, it would cause an upheaval in that little town because my aunt is a very respected woman there.
She knows what she did, and she will have to live with it knowing it still inflicted pain on her sister until the day she passed. I know she will go to her grave with that, and it will always be in the back of her mind how she ruined her sister’s whole life. I imagine my grandma haunting her, and I smile.
I hope my grandma finally got the peace that she always deserved.
21. This Secret Was Put To Bed
My grandfather passed when I was 17. The part I am not supposed to know, which my mom—who has never been able to keep a secret in her life—told me, was that he didn’t pass of natural causes.
He waited until his social security check arrived for my grandmother to cash, and then took a bottle of pills and drank a bottle of booze. My grandmother found him like that and then called my mom to come over and help her put him into bed so that she could tell everyone he passed in his sleep.
He was old, therefore no one did an autopsy or anything.
22. In Preparation For The End
I thought I was dying the other day. It might have been a heart attack. I had been neglecting my house. My dishes were beyond disgusting. There was clutter everywhere. I’m not trying to throw a pity party, but my fiancée broke up with me recently and I went through a pretty painful physical situation and was just lazy and depressed.
It occurred to me while I considered calling an ambulance that if I passed, someone would have to clean this up. They would associate my passing with this disgusting stuff. Obviously if I did die, someone's gotta come do something with my stuff. But to add filthy dishes and clutter in, too? That's not something I want to have anyone connect with me.
I live alone and I am out in the country. I think it would take days before anyone checked. So, I did the only thing I could think of. I cleaned. I hustled and started with the dishes. At one point, I could feel my heart fighting? It’s hard to describe, but something was messed up. So, I scrubbed faster to get it done before I passed, really racing the clock. Finish the dishes before you die.
I figured, if I'm found on the kitchen floor with a broken plate around me and gloves on my hands, at least they'll know I was trying to make it better. Finally finished those and kept going. My heart hurt and I was having trouble breathing and I was really scared. I finished cleaning and was in tears.
I wrote out who should get what, the safe code, and some goodbye messages, and that I just sensed that I was dying. I had made sure to put the cat out so she wouldn't be trapped inside and have to eat my body to survive. I laid on the kitchen floor so that my rotting body wouldn't ruin the carpet. And I waited. I finally fell asleep, exhausted.
I'm gonna go get my heart checked soon. I'm only 38, never smoked, but who knows. Stuff happens. But, what I did was stupid. I'm a loved member of my community. I didn't call an ambulance. I just accepted that I might die and my only problem was that my house was disgusting. That's messed up and I'm still trying to figure out why I didn't try to get medical help.
23. Fired Friend
I got a friend of mine fired from a job we both worked for at the time. She is a very touchy individual and would always lean on people, hug them, pinch them, etc. I never liked it. But, since I'm a guy and she's a girl, I never said anything more than once or twice because the general atmosphere in the US is that female contact can't be unacceptable.
After about two years of this, a bit of a scandal involving a touchy boss happened and they set up a new system for reporting. It was completely out of the management hierarchy and completely anonymous up until legally required, supposedly. Now, over the years, I'd made a few complaints to her and to our boss but had been told that "she's just being friendly" and that it’s fine.
When that scandal happened, people at work talked about it and about other employees who were all touchy and I realized that it wasn't just me that didn't like her touching me. She did it mostly to guys, and many of them had complained to our boss and had her brush them off, just like me.
So, I used the new system and told them what was going on and my boss’ response to it. Honestly, I didn't have high hopes of anything happening. I was so wrong. I guess they were still on the edge because someone from corporate showed up and interviewed everyone at the store. The result was that they transferred my boss to another store, and fired my touchy friend.
I can't ever say anything because we share a number of friends and many of them also think she did nothing wrong.
24. Speaking In Tongues
My grandmother immigrated to North America from Europe in 1970 and did not leave Canada until she passed in 2017. Until the day she passed, everyone who knew her family or otherwise knew that she did not speak English. She only spoke her mother tongue. She couldn't read, write, or drive, and she didn't get out much.
The majority of her life was spent indoors, taking care of us grandkids before and after school and church. When she suffered a fall in 2007, she was hospitalized for a short time and given pain medication. My mother was with her in the hospital and left the room for a few minutes to grab a cup of coffee.
When she came back, she couldn't believe her eyes. My highly medicated grandma was having an entire conversation in English with one of the medical staff. She was perfectly fluent. I'm the only family member that knows other than my mom. The medical staff found it hilarious, though.
As soon as she sobered up from the pain meds, she up and down denied that it ever happened and stuck to that story for the next decade.
25. The Truth Hit Me Hard
My cousin was born handicapped because my uncle hit the daylights out of his wife throughout her pregnancy. I was not aware that my uncle was so awful. I realized years after my cousin’s birth that her handicap was not "biological" and that my aunt didn’t have any fertility issues; she had miscarriages because of my uncle.
My mother hid all this from me because she knew that I would never talk to my uncle again and that I would tell the whole family the real truth.
26. Hidden Stash
When I first started college, I got a bunch of money for tuition through financial aid and some grants. I didn't tell mom exactly how much, but I kept about 5k after everything was paid. She swore that I couldn't have gotten that amount since there was little left to hand her, but I convinced her. She made a fuss with the office, but she never found out.
I knew how she was with money so I kept it from her and bought my car and other things I needed, like a phone, because I wanted more independence. I didn't want her paying for anything because she'd always throw it back at me. She's passed on now, rest her soul. Our relationship wasn't the best, but there was a lot I couldn't tell her because of how she was.
I have of lot stuff that will never be spoken of ever, not even in my old age. I strictly believe in keeping secrets.
27. Climbing Mountains For You
I spent my twenties climbing mountains. Alpine mountaineering, rock climbing (sport, trad, alpine) and waterfall ice. I got to be pretty good at it, even climbed the biggest mountain in the Canadian Rockies. I don't like climbing and I didn't enjoy it. I hated it. I wasn't reckless, most of the time, but I had three very close calls. One of my best friends’ lives was taken on a mountain.
Growing up, my dad was convinced that I was weak, helpless, and stupid. No matter what I did. He was terrified of "losing me" and thought he was protecting me every time he stopped me from accomplishing something, saying, "You can't do that, you don't know what you're doing, you'll die," or when he couldn't stop me, he would say, "I'm surprised you're alive".
I've never told him (or anyone) that I spent a decade doing something that I hate, trying to prove to him that I'm not what he thinks I am. Or how his attempts to keep me safe drove me to put my life in danger. I don't think that I ever will.
28. She Was A Freak In The Sheets
One of my mom's cousins was committed to an asylum and sterilized. As a kid, I was told it was because she had some type of genetic malformation; hence her mother couldn't take care of her. As an adult, I discovered the real reason, and it was so much sadder than what I was told.
Her mother walked in on her daughter's college apartment to find her engaging in incredibly mild role-play—she was on a leash. That was all it took for her mother to completely destroy her future. I've never even met her or know what her face looks like, but I truly feel for her.
Freepik, cookie_studio
29. No Cause For Alarm
The night my dad “came home early from work and accidentally set the alarm off," my house was actually being broken into. My mother confronted the intruder while my father rushed home.
She put my siblings and me in the room with our older brother and told us she just wanted to make sure none of us were startled if the authorities were automatically called but to absolutely not leave the room.
30. Secret Donation
A friend of mine in college was strapped for cash for groceries one month. There were three of them in the core friend group, and I was just his best friend's girlfriend. I wasn't really wealthy either, but I had some extra money to spare from working an IT job at school. So, I withdrew $200, left it in an envelope in his house with his name on it, and let him "discover" it.
To this day he still thinks it was his buddy, Andrew. I never saw fit to correct him. It's only money, and he needed to eat.
31. Anonymous Rose Giver
We had a "rose day" every year at middle/high school. You could send other people roses for $5 with a little note or anonymously. For women, it was normal to send each other roses. So, most women were walking around with many roses that day. But, guys only got a rose if they had a GF or were very popular. Then one year, I had a brilliant idea. I sent every guy I appreciated, even myself, a rose, anonymously.
I’ll never forget their smiles. Most of them still remember the one rose they got back in school 10 years later. I’ll take this secret to my grave. It’s probably one of the best things I have done so far in my life and only for about $60.
32. Burn Granny, Burn
My grandma burned down the family home back in the 80s because my grandpa was a lush and a cheater. He sobered up and never cheated again. The few times the situation was talked about, my family said that it was supposedly an electrical fire. However, I heard them arguing one night when I was a kid.
My grandmother yelled, "I'll burn this house down too". My grandma is a savage.
33. Brothers For Life
My older brother might only be my half-brother. About ten or so years ago, I went out drinking with my dad for his birthday. He got hammered and told me that when he and my mom first got together, she was still in a relationship with a really terrible guy.
She got pregnant around the time that she left him, so there's about a 50/50 chance that my older brother is the other guy's biological son. I asked him if he had ever thought about getting tested to find out and he said, "No. I don't care what any test says. That is MY son".
He also got emotional at one point and told me he really regretted talking me out of going to school for what I originally wanted to do in favor of what I do now. Later on, he punched the glass out of a jukebox because he thought it would be funny. The whole night was a roller coaster.
The next day, he seemed to have no recollection of telling me that shocker about my brother, and I never brought it up again. I'll never tell my brother, and I'll never tell my parents that I know about it. As a side note, it would explain a lot. My brother and I don't even look related.
We always just shrugged our shoulders whenever friends asked us how we could be siblings when we looked so different. I feel the same way my dad does; he's my brother, not half-brother, no matter what any test might say. I'm at peace with the fact that I'll never really know for sure.
34. First Steps
It was my first day as a nanny looking after a baby girl. I took her to the park and I was taking videos of her and getting her to walk to me. She walked three steps to me and then fell on her butt and cried. She wasn't sure of foot yet, but she did pretty well. Then, it suddenly occurred to me that I don't actually know if she has walked with her parents yet. I spoke to her mum later on and she told me she is super close, but hasn't walked yet.
I figured she must have walked with me because she was feeling clingy without her mum. I never told her parents she walked with me and it was about three weeks later she finally walked for her parents.
35. Secret Schizophrenia
I have schizophrenia. An uncle I’ve never met has it too, so I guess it’s hereditary. My doctors don’t know and I’ll never tell them because I’m afraid of being treated like a schizophrenic. I tried to end my life at age 15 and in the aftermath, the hospital made me fill out a bunch of questionnaires. One was a schizophrenia inventory.
I had heard of schizophrenia, but I didn’t know what it was, and I was really surprised to find out that the symptoms they described weren’t normal and that I was answering most of the questions in the affirmative. However, they just ended up diagnosing me with major depressive disorder and never asked me about any of the schizophrenia symptoms.
For years, I thought maybe that meant that the schizophrenia inventory stuff wasn’t a cause for concern, like perhaps those things can happen in an extremely severe case of depression. I now realize that they probably never even looked at it. I have two master’s degrees. I can tell what’s real and what’s not, so I do my best to ignore the hallucinations.
I thought that the way I hear voices in my head was the way everyone’s brain is. Then, I learned that while it’s normal to have an “inner monologue” of your own voice, it’s not normal for there to be other voices that you don’t attribute to yourself butting in. Like, I really thought that that was just how thinking worked.
36. Surprise Party
I turned 40 this year and my wife threw me not one, but two surprise birthday parties. For one, we traveled to see my family and for the other, we spent it with friends where we live. Both times she was so nervous and acting so weird that I knew exactly what was happening. But, I played along because I knew how important it was to her.
I must be a decent actor because she is convinced that she "got me" and tells everyone how well she did. I love her, it's adorable, and I'll never take that from her.
37. A Bad Investment
My dad has cheated on my mom with several different women over the years. They stayed married, as divorce was looked down upon in our culture. But the affair was actually crazy.
He would literally fly to a different part of the country "to see his investment property" every now and then, in reality, he was going to see his old secretary who lived in that house.
He built a house, and because she was struggling to get by financially, he "felt bad" and offered to let her live in it with her two kids from a different marriage. So, his secretary, who used to work for him, lived in one of his houses rent-free. That was the reality.
Then one day, when he was sloshed, he told me that when he passes, his will has the house split 50/50 between that lady and me. I didn’t even know how to react or respond other than realizing I would need a lawyer in the future as she and I don't get along.
38. A Tale Of Triumph
My great-grandma had dementia in her last years of life and completely forgot English. She would mumble and confess things in German, and eventually, my grandma and I learned some really dark stuff about her.
It took a lot of time and a German-to-English dictionary to decipher what she was saying. We found out that her oldest son's father lost his life during the battle of Stalingrad while she was pregnant with him. This was her first husband, and he passed in September 1942.
She then married his brother after giving birth to her first son. She soon became pregnant with her second child, a daughter. When husband number two went to fight for the Gestapo, he lost his life during the battle of Kursk in July of 1943.
Great-grandma then gave birth to her daughter and married her third husband—husband number one and number two’s cousin. She and her third husband were expecting child number three—my grandmother—when he went to fight in the battle of Hurtgen Forest.
He passed in November of 1944 and was her favorite husband, apparently. At that point, there were no men in the area who would marry her, as she was considered cursed.
With three children under the age of four in tow, my great-grandma managed to sneak into the United States, specifically Los Angeles, during the last few months of WWII. She never gave us complete details, but we figured she probably bribed, slept with, and somehow wormed her way out of all that nonsense.
Upon coming to the US in 1945, she married the man my grandma and her siblings thought was their dad. But this was no fairy tale either. It turned out he was majorly gay and paid my great-grandma to be his beard. He passed of congestive heart failure in 1960, and my great-grandma never remarried.
Somehow my grandma, great aunt, and great uncle all have birth certificates stating they were born in the United States and that husband number four was their father. We have no clue how great-grandma pulled that one off.
39. Spam Attack
As a teen, I had a really bad relationship with my dad. One day, I was really angry at him, so I did the most evil thing I could think of. I signed his e-mail up in any newsletter I could find online. He still gets spam mails and doesn't know why. For the record, we get along great now.
40. Failed, But Won
I failed my driver's license test due to someone else running a stop sign. But then something crazy happened. I walked into the DMV anyways and the lady did not check my paper saying it was a fail. She gave me my license anyway.
41. Two Stomachs
I told my parents I had two stomachs—one for normal food and one for dessert. I explained that that’s why I’m able to eat dessert after dinner and how it’s possible for me to be full but still want ice cream. I told them that all kids have two stomachs and the reason they don’t remember is because you forget when you turn 13.
When I turned 13, I stopped talking about it, and whenever they asked or tried to bring it up i just pretended I didn’t know what they were talking about. Now I’m 23 and absolutely taking this one to the grave. It’s not even that big of a deal (they don’t talk about it anymore), but I still want to commit to it.
42. The Big Squeeze
My mom lied to a man and told him that I was his son. She frequently coerced money from him by telling him she needed it to raise me. I found out when he showed up with gifts shortly after I had moved out on my own. He had hired a private investigator to find me after my mom refused to give him my contact info.
He apologized for not being in my life and cried while telling me he was losing his life to pancreatic cancer and that he didn't want to go without meeting me. I asked my mom about it, and she told me she told him that so she could get money for illicit substances after she left my dad.
DNA tests confirmed that he was not my father; I tested myself against the man I knew to be my biological dad. I only ever met this man that one time. I took the gifts because it was such a surreal experience, and I didn't know how to tell him anything other than that I forgave him.
My mom is the only other person who knew this happened.
43. An Indiscretionary Tale
My dad had an affair with my mom’s childhood best friend. My mom knew about it, they had worked through it, and later had me. But there was something she didn't know.
Apparently, I also have a half-sibling that was placed for adoption. It is possible my father doesn’t know either. The half-sibling found me on Ancestry dotcom. A few quick medical history exchanges and that was that. There was no further contact requested. I respect their position and plan to never tell my parents.
Freepik, YuliiaKa
44. Where Did The DS Go?
The first and only time I stole something in my life was from my neighbor who was having a yard sale to take his kids to Disneyland. He had a DS game of backyard baseball and I had the money for it. It was $5 and I wanted it. I went up with the money and he told me that he was going to give it to the landlord’s kid who was my age too.
I was so mad and annoyed that he was going to get the game for free. A few hours later, I went back outside and I saw he wasn’t there. I walked up to the stand and I saw the game was still there, so I took it. I also grabbed a bag of golf balls he had for $10 and a few more games that were marked $1 each, so he wouldn’t think it was me.
I then ran into my apartment and the guilt was eating me up. Thirty minutes later, he knocked and asked if I took the games because he knew I wanted one. I told him that I was inside the whole time. I never played any of those games. I felt so bad that I couldn’t put in my DS. I even wanted to take them back, but I knew I would get caught.
They did end up going on that trip, and the landlord’s kid was mad he didn’t get his game (I didn’t like him, so I was fine with it). I still have that guilt and I remember the prices of everything and the stand.
45. Coding King
For a computer class, I downloaded someone else's code and turned it in as coursework. It was so good that the tutor was suspicious and asked me to provide some development notes and comments. I panicked, emailed the person whose program it was, and explained. I was so fortunate that he actually sent me several previous versions of his work.
They had fully commented code, bugs so that I could show "my progress,” and even some hand sketches of the interface. He signed it all off with: "Fake it ‘til you make it bro". I got a near-perfect score for that piece of work.
46. Jackpot!
I was the sole winner of a major lottery and never told a soul. I lived somewhere where you could stay anonymous after a win, so I did. Nobody in my family knows. I didn't change my lifestyle or anything. I kept the same cars, bikes, etc. I just make sure my family is taken care of, especially my son.
They just think I'm good at business and investing. I keep multiple brokerages for different asset classes and just show them the small accounts if needed. I celebrate Christmas by donating to charities and hope to build a new school.
47. Solid As A Rock
My great-grandpa isn't related to us. He met my great-grandma when she was a teen. She had been taken advantage of by a traveling salesman and became pregnant. As a result, her family tossed her out. My great-grandpa couldn't have kids due to his being tormented in a Japanese prison camp during WWII.
He married my great-grandmother and raised my grandma as his own. My great-grandma told me when she had dementia and forgot it was a secret. After I found out, I asked their daughter—my grandma—and she confirmed that she had known this to be true since she was a young adult.
Even though my great-grandpa wasn’t blood, he was the bedrock of our family.
48. Cheated My Way Through Life
I used a testing loophole at my university to cheat my way to As in every math class, up to calculus 2 and physics. Basically, I just used Mathway and Numerade for every exam and problem set. For some reason, learning math proficiently takes me two to three times the amount of time it takes a normal person, so this was a necessity just to keep up.
Getting good grades eventually led me to a six-figure job and a comfortable life for my wife and I, so I have no real regrets. Ironically, doing everything this way let me enjoy learning what math can do, how it does it, and when to use it, so I don't count it as a total learning loss.
49. Lust For Michael Cera
When I was younger, there used to be a Blockbuster by my house, and it was about a 30-minute walk. They had an enormous poster of Michael Cera on the window. For some reason, I needed it. At approximately 1:00 AM, when I was sure my parents were asleep, I was fueled with determination and lust for that awkward actor. I ran to that Blockbuster in the middle of night.
I tore that poster off, but unfortunately, I underestimated the size of it. It was taller than I was! But, through sheer determination and willpower, I peeled every bit off that window display. I shuffled back home with an enormous poster of Michael Cera’s face, flapping in the wind, feeling proud, and yet, embarrassed.
50. Image Was Everything
My grandpa didn't want any of his grandchildren to know that he was behind bars for three or four years for fraud. The thing is, he was also a victim of the same. The guy he was doing business with used checks without funds and put all the machines in my grandpa’s name.
The other guy left no trace of his actions in the whole business, so then the entire mess fell on my grandpa. He didn't want us to know because he didn't want us to be aware that he had been locked up. He thought it would ruin the image we would have about him, even though he was innocent.
Even after knowing that postmortem, we still love him as much as we always did.
51. Her Flame Went Out
A great aunt on my mom's side supposedly passed from an unknown illness at age 25. I found her death certificate—and the cause of her demise made my blood run cold.
It listed the ingestion of kerosene as the cause. I learned from an older relative that this aunt had discovered she was pregnant and didn't want to be. She was a very vain person and was afraid the pregnancy would ruin her body and her looks.
She had heard from some idiot that drinking kerosene would cause an abortion, so that’s what she did.
52. Green With Envy
When I was 11 years old, my best friend brought one of those invisible ink pens and UV light toys to school. It was in the shape of a dinosaur and the light came out of its mouth. My family always had food to eat, but we were always taught to be good with money (that's probably partly just because my dad is cheap), so I didn't get cool toys often.
I also always got the feeling my best friend's family was pretty well off, and so this one particular toy just made me really jealous. When we were all outside for recess or lunch, I went inside just to go to my bag for some reason. But, while I was in there, I took her pen and dinosaur light and put them in my bag.
She never mentioned it and may have forgotten about it (I'm still friends with her, nearly 20 years later), so I never told her. I also played with it maybe once then never touched it again.
53. Faked Demise
I'm the only person who knows a high school friend of mine is still alive. He faked his demise about a decade ago, and called me on the day of his funeral to let me know. Why he chose me I'll never know. We still talk occasionally. He asks how his family is doing, how his ex-girlfriend is doing, chats about his favorite sports teams etc.
His family still lives in my neighborhood, so I can relay some information, but most of our conversations are brief chats at the grocery store or at our local cafe. I don't know why he did it and I probably won't ever know. And, as sad as it is, I won't tell his family he's still alive or that he has kids unless he asks me to.
54. Family History
Nobody had the details right, but my paternal great-grandfather took the life of the son of an officer in St. Louis in 1901 when he was just 17 years old. He ran away from home, ended up in Omaha, and changed his last name.
I ended up confirming all of this using Ancestry dotcom and Newspapers dotcom. They called it an accident, but he and his brother were troublemakers. Not only that, but street gangs were in abundance in 1901 in St Louis, one of which went after enforcement officers and their families.
There were a number of articles telling what had happened. He also lied and told family members that he was an officer. He never was; he was a security guard for a produce company. Furthermore, his mom more than likely had an affair with a neighbor boy, making my great-grandfather “illegitimate”.
Using census records from 1880, I was able to come to this possible conclusion. It’s all a mess, but I’m determined to get to the bottom of it.
55. He Was Rockin’ At The Casbah
Before my maternal grandfather passed, he told me that he had fallen in love with a woman in Morocco while he was stationed there. He considered going AWOL so that he could stay with her, but the threat of being thrown behind bars persuaded him to come home.
So, I’m apparently the only person in my family aware that he had an affair while overseas. Knowing that weighs heavily upon me at times. I guess I may have some family somewhere in Morocco.
56. Secret Sister
My dad had a daughter before I was born and never admitted it to anyone in the family. He was basically on his last legs when he admitted it to me. I was able to track down my half-sister a few years back, and we were able to meet.
However, she was very emotional about the whole thing, and she ended up backing out at the last minute. I have since left her alone.
57. For The Hate Of Toys And Chocolates
When I was eight years old, my mom decided to take me and my sister on a vacation with our relatives. Because we were not doing that well financially, it was actually my sister and my first vacation ever. My dad couldn't join because he had to work. On the trip, my relatives were buying their kids all these expensive toys, chocolates, and candies.
I asked my mom if I can also buy a toy and chocolate. I could literally see tears in my mom's eyes because she didn't have enough money except for food. Ever since then, I've always hated toys and chocolates. Now, I'm earning and my family is settled and to this day, I hate chocolates and toys.
58. Mysterious Kiss
In my first year of high school, we had a substitute teacher who gave us these quiz boxes that you could send anonymous answers to. Then, we did a “get to know the class” opinions quiz. After that, the teacher wanted to be the gossip girl, so he started asking personal questions. One of them was, “Have you ever kissed someone in this class before?”
In primary school, I did kiss someone that went to the same high school as me, so I answered truthfully and wrote yes. She forgot or lied, so I was the only one in the entire class that said yes to kissing another student, in our own class. Cue the following two years, people were still making jokes about someone making love with pictures. I had to awkwardly laugh with them.
59. Preserving A Memory
A cousin of mine lost his life in a motorcycle accident. He was a loving dad to two children. I was asked to hack into his computer because his grieving widow could not access pictures and emails. I found a secret email account. He'd been using it to message his mistress.
This was five days after his passing, and his inbox was filled with messages saying, “Are you ok? What is going on?" She was unaware of his passing. So, I wrote her an email explaining with a link to the obituary and newspaper article. She came to the funeral but didn't say anything. She introduced herself as a co-worker.
I removed all evidence from the computer before giving it back to the widow to preserve the memory of this guy to his wife and kids.
60. Secret Society Shakedown
My great-uncle essentially ran a secret society in my hometown for many years with his “friends” and even some of my family members. They would take advantage of a lot of people and run away with the money they managed to make.
This went on for many years until the government came looking for money that he owed when he took out a loan to build a massive bar and grill. From there, the whole thing came crashing down. To add insult to injury, my grandfather—his brother—was the acting Mayor at the time and had no knowledge of this.
To say that stuff “hit the fan” would be the understatement of the century.
61. Secret Santa
This is not a bad secret, but I won't tell it, especially to my friends. Every year around Christmas time, I would go to Twitter with my second account. In my country, we have a number for people who are poor, but want to get some nice gifts, either for themselves or their kids. I’d look through the tweets of the last few months to verify they can't afford it.
Then, I’d buy something off their Amazon wishlist. I spent a couple thousand in the last five years. I can't tell my friends, though, because I helped some of them before we met in real life.
62. Buried Book
I forgot to return a library book in sixth grade and racked up like $10 in fines. I kept delaying returning it, hoping the fines would go away. By the end of the school year, they told me I wouldn't get my final report card due to the library fines. But my reaction was kinda unhinged: I was so ashamed that I soaked the book in water and buried it in the backyard like it was a lifeless body.
I figured soaking it in water first would make it decay faster. I then spent the next school day coming up with a plausible story about how I returned it months ago or something. At the end of the day, I went to the librarian to plead my case. She just said, "Oh okay, well if you already returned it, I'll just remove the fine from your account. Thank you for letting me know".
I felt a weird mix of relief and shame, but I can still remember the ordeal clearly to this day. And the real kicker is that the book was Fahrenheit 451. Sorry, Bradbury.
63. Love Child
My dad had a “kid sister”. She lived with and took care of my grandmother until her passing. Many years later, I found out that she was actually the child of my grandfather and a young woman he had met at a bar.
The young woman later married my uncle and rehabilitated her image by becoming a church lady. It made me respect my grandmother so much more. My grandfather left her alone with six children, yet she took in his “love child” and raised and loved her as her own.
64. Way Off Target
My grandfather owned a B-25 plane and shelled Haiti in 1968. The CIA hired him and was supposed to hit the Head of State’s house. The only problem was that he missed and dropped the missiles on the Head of State’s parent’s house. Oh, but that was just the tip of the iceberg.
He also proceeded to land, break into multiple banks, and fly back to turn in the money, which at the time only amounted to $8K.
65. Snack Cabinet Destroyer
When I was about 15, I would have to go to my mom’s office after school to wait for her to finish work. They had a snack cabinet where people could buy snacks. It was an informal setup with just a basket holding cash and a selection of cookies and chips and whatnot. My mom would give me money to get a snack every once in a while.
But, my teenage brain thought it was a good idea to take any bills larger than a dollar because there were IOU notes in there and no one would notice five bucks being gone a few times a week. One time, I went in and the whole cabinet was gone. When I asked about it, she just said that someone had been taking money from it.
My only response was, "Really? Why would adults take money from that?!" Note this was a place where they were making good money, $100k range in a mid-sized town, and I was the only kid coming in regularly. No one ever said anything past that or confronted me. I don’t know if they ever suspected me or not. But, they never mentioned anything.
This was nearly 15 years ago and I still feel bad about it sometimes, but can’t bring myself to say anything to my mom. I’m sorry mom, I ruined your office snack’s cabinet.
66. Sick Cat
I had a cat that got very sick. The vet told me it was some kind of virus that animals can get from eating the poop of other animals. I was to give my cat a pill once a day, but it was just about impossible to get him to swallow. I wrestled with him and tried so hard, but it usually ended with him urinating on me and spitting the pill back out.
He started hiding from me all the time, which was heartbreaking. My cat was sick and getting worse and I couldn't even pet him or sit next to him because he was scared of me now. I came home and he was in a corner, motionless but eyes open and rapidly breathing. I said his name and touched him, but he was completely unresponsive.
I picked him up and turned his face to mine, but his eyes didn't move or seem to focus on anything. I thought he must've been in shock, or in such terrible pain. I carried him to the bathroom, wrapped him up completely inside a towel and held him there until he stopped breathing. He didn't struggle at all and it only took a minute, then he was gone.
I felt, and still feel, that I did the right thing for him. But I never told anyone.
67. Patriot Games
My maternal great-uncle worked for the Canadian department of defense during the Cold War and passed from a "heart attack" while stationed in Germany. When my mom told me this, I pointed out that it was very possible that he had a hit put on him because it actually isn't that hard to make it look like someone passed from a heart condition.
My mom dismissed the idea pretty quickly. My grandmother was a nurse at the time and went to ID the body because her sister didn't have the strength to. In private, I brought up my theory and asked her what she thought. She didn't say anything, just nodded, but she gave me this really knowing look.
His passing wasn’t really talked about in the family, but I found out at my grandfather's memorial that I'm the only one, besides my grandmother, who knew his secret.
My paternal great-grandmother was taken advantage of in Belarus, her home country, and became pregnant with her assailant’s baby when she came to Canada. So, my great-uncle was, in reality, my grandfather's half-brother, and his biological father was some dirtbag in the Russian army.
His mom told my great-uncle, and he told me when he was on his last legs. I don't know if anyone else knew, but if they did, they never said anything. When my paternal great-grandparents came to Canada, they were put into internment camps.
I only found out because my great-aunt got sloshed and went on a rant about how the Canadian government wants everyone to forget about residential schools and various kinds of internment camps they ran and supported.
68. Out Of The Picture
My step-father’s great-grandfather and uncles were part of the Gestapo and escaped Germany to the US before the end of WWII. But we found out in an upsetting way.
We uncovered a black and white photo album of them together in their SS uniforms, with many pages of photos from around Germany and France. It was found after the passing of one of my great-uncles. One of my aunts was so mortified she snatched the album, and now no one will talk about it.
69. Lying About COVID
I lied about having COVID over Christmas, just to get some time on my own. I love my family and friends but as an extravert, I've never had a week just on my own. Did I ever need it! I lied to nearly everyone in my life, but it was wonderful to just have the house to myself for a couple of weeks.
70. Free Birthday Money
Fifteen years ago, when I was a teenager, I worked at a skating rink as a party host. I would DJ for kids’ birthday parties, lead games, and take out the garbage suspiciously frequently. The party I was hosting was fine, with good decent people. There was nothing to complain about. Sometimes that’s not the case in Texas.
They left after filling out their receipt and leaving the tip section empty. But then fate threw me a curveball. I was angry and cleaning up when I found a birthday card left on the table. It was addressed to Jason from his grandma with $100 inside. I pocketed the money and threw the card in the trash. The family called later that night and asked if we had found it and I said no.
They even came in to look under the tables, but couldn’t find it. I apologized for inadvertently trashing a gift. I was only trying to get the area set up for the next party. They suspiciously accepted my apology and left.
71. Tricked The Treater
My boyfriend loves Halloween and can’t wait to own a home so he can give candy to trick-or-treaters. But, we live in an apartment and no one goes trick-or-treating in apartment complexes, so he’s never had one. I told a co-worker, and she sent her husband and kids, whom he has never met, to our door on Halloween. He was so excited, and it made his night!
He thinks they were neighbors that saw the orange lights on our balcony that we put up in an attempt to let people know we were giving out candy. He still talks about it and is already planning for this year.
72. He Kept On Truckin’
My uncle was married about eight times and had two kids. However, after he passed, we found out that, apparently, he had seven kids from different relationships we didn't even know about.
He was a truck driver in the 90s and drove all over the US. He had affairs with different women in other states. We found out about the other kids from Ancestry, and I have since met a couple of them.
73. Grandma Spilled The Beans
My grandmother on my dad’s side became pregnant when she was 15 years old, years before my dad was born. She got a back-alley abortion because my great-grandfather would have made her keep it for sure. She told me when she got REALLY tipsy a few years back. My aunt and I are the only ones that know; even my dad doesn’t.
74. No Escaping The Truth
When my grandmother was 16 years old, my grandfather bought her from her mother. She escaped once, and my great-grandmother came back to live with them to ensure that she would never escape again. My grandfather was 30 years older than my grandmother, and he had a whole other family that lived in a different country.
75. Good Samaritan
Sometimes, when I see people begging, I buy them for lunch or groceries, or whatever they want. I'm not keeping it secret because it's a problem, it's just that I do it when I'm alone and it seems like I'd be bragging if I told anyone I know in real life. I'm awful at keeping secrets normally, so I'm telling the internet.
76. Store Bought Or Homemade?
The beef and broccoli I served my girlfriend the other night was a store-bought, frozen meal that I heated up right before she got home from work. She's still raving about it.
77. Those Laces Are Hard To Tie
I couldn't tie my laces until I was 18. No one on Earth who knows me knows this—and they never will.
78. Committed To Finding The Truth
My maternal great-grandmother attempted to off my grandfather shortly after he was born. She was committed to a state asylum for the rest of her life. My grandfather was given up by his father and sent to live in a boys' home and was told his mother lost her life during childbirth.
I discovered all of this while working on my family genealogy. I was able to get my great-grandmother's admission records, and she was diagnosed as paranoid schizophrenic. I can't even imagine the life she lived while in an institution during the 1930s–1950s.
In addition, my maternal grandfather was secretly married and had a daughter before he married my grandmother. I only found this out after a 23andMe DNA test matched me with my cousin, and we found their marriage records.
Sadly, my mother never got to meet her sister since she passed several years prior to this discovery.
79. Jeepers, Creeper
Someone in my family tried to sleep with a friend of mine. He groped her, and when she went home, he kept calling my friend to ask if he could swing by to get busy with her. He was married and had two kids. No one knows except the friend, me, and of course, the guy himself. A few days after that happened, I confronted him.
I was pretty young at the time, and he was ten years older than me. It was a messed up situation to be in at that age. He was crying and kept asking me to keep it a secret. I told him he was a major jerk and needed to apologize to my friend for putting her in that situation, and that if I ever saw him in such a situation again, I'd throw him under the bus by telling his wife.
80. Locked Up
My aunt and uncle took my cousin out of high school and kept him at home for the rest of their lives because he was a paranoid schizophrenic. He used to have violent episodes and hallucinations. They were ashamed of him and never spoke about it to anyone. I didn't find out until I was in my 30s.
I haven't seen him since I was 15, and it is possible he may no longer be alive. His parents and sister are deceased, as well. I am guessing he has had to live in an institution for a long time. What a horrible way to exist.
81. What’s In A Name?
My aunt and uncle couldn’t have children, so they had a friend give them her child. They paid the doctors on the spot to change the names of the parents on the birth certificate so that the boy would be their child legitimately without having to go through adoption.
It was as if he was born to my aunt and uncle, even though he wasn’t.
82. Two-Time Tattler
When I was ten, my cousin passed. I was told that he was a victim of manslaughter, but when I was 14 years old, my brother slipped up and told me that he actually took his life. I accidentally spilled the beans, not once but twice, to two cousins.
They were brothers, and I had assumed that the one who I had told first, then told the other. They were in their 30s and had been lied to for 20 years.
83. Not-so-secret Proposal
I accidentally found out my husband was going to propose to me a few months before it happened, but I’ll never tell him. He’s normally terrible at keeping secrets. I could see how proud of himself he was for managing not to let it slip and how excited he was to surprise me, so I can’t ever ruin that for him.
84. But, The Radio Was Thirsty
I was six years old and my father had just bought a nice ham radio set with a new standing microphone. He went to work and accidently left the radio on. I heard a voice over the radio talking about how thirsty they were. I decided to help and poured some of my sister’s water over the microphone. Later, my father can't for the life of him figure out why his microphone wasn't working.
He was so upset he trashed the whole thing and hasn't picked up another hobby since. I still feel guilty about it.
85. My BFF’s Dad Was A Serial Creep
My sister slept with my best friend's dad in our house. My dad walked in on them and flipped his noodle. All the adults tried to hide it, but I eventually figured it out. The younger me blamed my sister for causing all the rifts, but the older me knew it was my best friend’s dad who was a creep. This wasn't the last time he acted grossly.
He ended up cheating again and got some other young girl pregnant. His wife, who was extremely religious, had the side piece move in and helped raise the kid. It was an odd situation, for sure.
86. He Was No Hero
My grandfather was a Montfort Point Marine. He fought in WWII when they allowed integration. He also fought in Korea as well. He was one of only two gunnery sergeants to make it from his platoon in the Chosin Reservoir. He literally survived by pulling his partner’s body on top of himself to keep firing.
The Netflix documentary The Chosen Frozen was about him and his comrades. He lived to be 98 and passed in 2007. He was buried with high honors in Quantico MB National Cemetery. However, he was also guilty of touching children inappropriately, and my big brother is, in reality, my uncle.
My grandmother adopted him, and an “aunt” was actually his child from his wife’s baby sister. My mother and aunts are extremely mentally and emotionally disordered as a result of his actions.
87. Dishonored At Discharge
My mom was always told that her granddad lost his life in WWII from a head injury. Many years later, she did some genealogy only to discover that he didn’t pass then.
He had been discharged from the service due to mental illness—psychosis of some kind—and my mom’s grandmother was so ashamed of him that she did the unthinkable.
She had him placed in a sanitorium. He lived there unvisited and ignored until he passed in the 90s. My grandmother didn't even know if he was still alive either then. My mom was so angry to find out she could have visited her granddad well into her 20s if she'd known about him.
88. Couldn’t Put The Pencil Down
By first grade, I was already aware that I was "the smart kid" in class, and it was something that I took a certain amount of pride in. Except, it changed me. Our teacher occasionally gave pop quizzes in math that were essentially a sheet of 100 basic addition/subtraction problems, which we had five minutes to work on.
At the end of the five minutes, the teacher would say "pencils down," at which time you were supposed to immediately stand up and place your pencil on the desk and she would come by and collect the papers. One time, I was on the last row of questions when she said "pencils down," but I was so close! So, I stood with the rest of the class, but didn't put the pencil down.
Instead, I held onto it and filled in the rest of the questions very surreptitiously out of the corner of my eye, while the teacher walked around collecting papers. The next day, she proudly exclaimed that I was the only one to completely finish my questions and get 100%. The guilt weighed heavy.
89. Unwanted Mail
There was a mean old man who lived next door to us when we were kids. He was retired. He would yell at us, give us a hard time if our dog barked, and was rude to my mother. So, I decided to get back at him. You know the old ads in the paper where you could order 10 records or tapes from Columbia House for a nickel?
I signed him up for every record club, book club, and special offer I could find. Every subscription card that came out of a magazine, I signed him up. In High School, military recruiters came to talk to us so I signed him up to get notices from them. I enrolled him in everything I came across for years. He got so much mail. I'm sure it was a nightmare for him to straighten all of that out. He never knew it was me, but I knew.
90. Ring Of Truth
My dad hocked my mom's engagement ring in order to get us kids presents for Christmas one year. My mom thinks that my cousin took the ring and has blamed her for it for 30 years. My dad confessed what he did to me when he was tipsy at the family campout years ago, about four months before he passed.
91. What A Gem!
My grandmother's wedding ring is fake. My grandparents are very religious and Catholic and have been married for almost 60 years. They told me last year that when they got married, they didn't think it was actually going to work out, so they didn't spend money on a real ring. I don't know why they told me or if anyone else knows.
92. The Godfather
It always was weird to me how my ex’s parents had such a happy-looking yet extremely resentful marriage. My ex mentioned several times how sad it made him that his dad continually did things that were to his mother’s disadvantage and disappointment. They were painful for him to watch.
His dad would drive hundreds of kilometers and move mountains for the children, or rather, at least for his sister. For my ex, I am not so sure. It dawned on me that his father did these things on purpose and sabotaged the happiness of his wife. However, I just could not figure out why.
I also always found it weird how everyone in the family looked like they were related, except for my ex, with his thick head and his crooked tooth. One day, he spoke about his godfather who lived in Canada. After his godfather’s wife—his mother’s best friend—passed, he decided to move there and live in solitude.
He spoke about him very highly, how they had such a good relationship, and so on. Then, he sent me a picture, and suddenly it all made sense. His godfather had the same thick head, the same forehead with the same type of wrinkles, the same eye shape, the same chin, and the same crooked tooth.
To this day I am 100% convinced his godfather is his real father, and they probably all know—except for my ex and his sister.
93. Just A Little Bit
I don't tell people this, but my cousin is a psychopath. Back story: She worked at a restaurant. When she told me what she did there, my jaw dropped. Apparently, she purposefully tried to find the people lying about food allergies. She did so by putting a little bit of something they were allergic to in their food. Most of the time, she would tell me people would lie just to make sure something wasn’t on their order. But one day, it came back to bite her.
My best friend, who worked with her, told me the story. This family of regulars came in who, no matter what they ordered, would always ask for no onions. The daughter was allergic. The cook was aware of this and would always make sure nothing he used for their food had touched or been anywhere near an onion. Well, my cousin, didn’t believe in the girl’s allergy.
So, she grabbed a little bit of chopped onion and put it in her food and covered it with something so they wouldn't notice it. It instantly went wrong. Well, the little girl took a bite and immediately couldn't breathe. The boss called for an ambulance and her dad used the EpiPen, but she still couldn't breathe well. My cousin found out later that the little girl ended up in the hospital, all due to her putting some onions in her food.
The parents were mad and they demanded the owner pay for her medical bills. Apparently, they wanted to press charges, as well but they didn't have cameras and no one would own up to who did it. So, my cousin didn't get in trouble, but karma came for her eventually. After the owner paid, someone told him it was my cousin who did it. He said he wouldn't report her, but he was keeping her last check due to him paying the medical bills for the girl.
And guess where my cousin is now? Behind bars for attempting to poison her boyfriend!
94. Last Words
The last time I spoke with my mother, I didn't really speak at all. I was 13 years old and had been spending the years at the hospital as she did chemotherapy, radiation, laser surgery, and so on, to fight her spreading lymphoma. I was a stupid kid and was frustrated with having to be at the hospital every day after school.
We were in the hospital room, and I was annoyed that I couldn't be at home in my room calling my friends or whatever it was that I was concerned with. When we were eventually leaving that day, I was a giant jerk and wouldn't give her a hug. I just said something like, "I just wanna go home". I've regretted those words ever since. The next day, she was in a coma.
She never recovered from it. And the last time I got to hug her, her body was cold and was no longer alive. That will haunt me until the day I die.
95. Little Orphan Granny
My grandma was raised in a Catholic orphanage under the pretext that she had lost both her parents and siblings during the Spanish influenza outbreak. But the truth was even sadder.
It turned out that she and her dad survived, but her dad didn’t want to take care of her, so he left her at an orphanage in Brooklyn and moved to Europe, where she started a whole new family.
96. Done Like Dinner
My paternal grandmother hated my mother. One day, she called my mom and asked her to come over and pick up a casserole that my grandma had made for us. When she got there, my grandmother had taken her own life—and the note she left was chilling.
Among other things, it said that she wanted my mom to find her that way. She was, shall we say, a messed up lady and one of the meanest people I've ever known.
My mom didn't want people to know because she didn't want that kind of attention. My dad didn't want people to know because he didn't want to give my grandma any level of satisfaction. So, just me, them, and maybe one other person knew what actually went down.
Everyone else thought she was just an old lady who was depressed about her recently deceased husband.
97. How I Really Feel
When I came back from my third deployment to Iraq in 2007, I wasn’t me. I’m barely me now. I felt like I was alone, and that I had nobody with me (even though I had a wife and kids and family back home who always cared about me). I felt really numb and had no one to talk to or anyone I wanted to talk to. It drove me to do something I'll always regret. I needed to feel, so I went to massage parlors and met random women off Craigslist.
It even went as far as doing something every Friday to try and feel something. It didn’t work. So, I bought a $1,400 bulldog, RIP Semper, and a nice truck I couldn’t afford. I was constantly spending money to feel better, but I still felt empty. Here I am 15 years later and barely feel. My kids help, but I feel I’ve messed them up too much to actually connect to them.
Sometimes, I feel like getting in the car and driving somewhere far away, but that would hurt my family financially. Sometimes, I wish I didn’t make it back, so they could have taken the life insurance and had a decent life. I hope someday I can get somewhat back to normal.
98. Exploding Toilet
I lit a firework in a public park and panicked so I flushed it down the toilet. Boom! No more toilet. Whoops. I was 12.
99. Paranoia Will Destroy Ya
My mom lied about how my dad passed. My brother and I were told he had lost his life to cancer. He wrote us each a letter stating his goodbyes, and I still have mine. When I turned 18, the horrifying truth came out.
He lost his life in a murder-suicide with his wife—my stepmom—and her lover, who was also his psychiatrist. It turned out his wife was cheating on him with his doctor. My dad had manic bipolar depression. He was prone to extreme anxiety and paranoia when he was off the correct medication.
The doctor purposely prescribed him medication that worsened his paranoia. My stepmom was the one who initially had the idea about the doctor prescribing the medication in the first place. When he found out about the affair and all the evidence, his already broken mind completely snapped.
He blasted them both and then himself.
1oo. The Ultimate Sacrifice?
My parents divorced in the mid-60s when I was four years old. Being a broke, single, 26-year-old woman with four children and no family support, my mother married a disturbed, insecure man, most likely out of desperation. It was a terrible mistake.
For the next four and a half years, he terrorized my mother, myself, and my siblings. He was particularly terrible to me as I was my mother's favorite. I was given punishments that were impossible to complete and led to further punishment, physical and emotional torment.
I feared for my life 24/7 as there was no rhyme or reason as to when his explosive anger would erupt. One day my mother went missing. A half-hearted search found nothing, and we were told that she had run away and that if we were good, she might return.
A week or two after her disappearance, my stepfather promptly forged her signature on a second mortgage on the house my grandparents had given my mother, took the money to buy a landscaping business, and went on to destroy several more families. Two years later, my mother’s jawbone was discovered.
We weren't told that our mother was gone until about a year later when my sister confronted our biological father, and he reluctantly admitted it to us. He told my sister, who was about 12 years old at the time, "Don't tell your brothers and sister".
My brother had several volumes of jaw-dropping evidence that would shock any logical person to conclude that my stepfather offed my mother and buried her in the woods above our house. The official report concluded she took her own life, even without a body being found. But when her jawbone was discovered, it was determined she had been buried.
Tucked inside all this incriminating evidence was a statement from a neighbor saying she saw our mother walking up into the woods on the day of her disappearance. I'm of the belief that it's very possible my mother took her life so that our biological father would be forced to take us back.
Perhaps for her, this intervention was the only way she thought possible to keep our stepfather from inevitably harming me any further. This is something I cannot share with my siblings as it would destroy their long-held beliefs about what happened to our mother.
101. Don’t Look
I got a call for a delivery and the husband is very excited, he even wants to ride with his wife to hospital. He sits in front and there are two medics in the back. The wife delivers on the way. The baby turned out to be visibly another ethnicity than the parents. One medic asked in the most professional way they could if this was expected.
The wife just burst into tears. The husband was still super excited because he couldn’t actually see into the back from where he was sitting. When we arrive at ER, we try and hurry the husband to the entrance before mom and baby were brought out. We didn’t quite get dad inside because he seems to know something is up.
At some point, he comes back toward the stretcher moving toward the ER entrance, catches sight of the baby, and absolutely loses his mind. He used all the regular insults and a few words that I’m pretty sure he made up.
102. The Hostess Went All Out
When I was 11 years old, my whole extended family and I went over to a mutual friend's house for Thanksgiving dinner. It was a very large house, so for most of the night, the children played in the basement while the adults prepared the meal upstairs. Shortly after finishing dessert, someone noticed one detail that changed the night entirely.
They realized that my uncle and the hostess, who was our family friend, had disappeared up into the master bedroom. Mind you, my aunt and the hostess's husband were both sitting downstairs. Every one of us, one by one, went to knock on the door to see what was up, but they refused to come out. I heard some strange noises from behind the door, but I was incredibly confused.
I remember my aunt crying and the husband being extremely angry, but my uncle and the hostess just didn’t come out for almost two hours. When they finally did come out, the hostess was wearing different clothes, and everyone else was incredibly upset. This was always burned into my memory, so recently, I asked my mom what actually happened that night. Her answer wasn't at all what I was expecting.
It turns out that while we children were playing karaoke downstairs, some of the adults were drinking, and getting plastered upstairs. My uncle and the hostess had locked themselves into the bedroom to do some blow and eventually became too paranoid to come out—so they say. We still think they were getting busy up there, but who knows. All of the couples involved are still somehow happily married.
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103. Grandma’s House
Since I was very young, my father lived halfway across the world, and my mother didn't let him see me. She also got together with a psychopath who loathed me. My childhood was truly terrible to the extent that my intrusive thoughts began before my age was in the double digits. My two grandmothers were a total lifeline.
And without them, I really don't think I'd be alive. I ended up in a children's home when I was 14. When my maternal grandmother passed, my uncle found a folder with my name on it. Inside were letters between her and my other grandmother. They were conspiring to make sure that I had at least some positivity in my life.
They had been arranging with each other who would invite me to stay with them next. Those letters were truly beautiful.
104. Figuring Out Why
I had a very troubled patient who was consensually sleeping with her own uncle. These were very wealthy, high-society type people. During our one-hour intake appointment, she went very in-depth about the relationship. It was the longest hour of my life. I'm taught not to judge my clients, but...that session weirded me out.
105. The Mystery Relative
Growing up, we had a relative we would visit every Christmas. She was an old lady, very short and very strange. But, she didn't look or speak like everyone else in the family. I asked who she was once and was told the following story…My great-grandfather was enlisted in the armed forces and went abroad to fight in WWI. When he returned home to his family, he had an infant girl with him.
He instructed his family to never, ever ask questions about who she was or why he brought her, but to treat her as family. Eventually, my great-grandfather passed and the mystery remained, even to her.
106. One In A Million
A neighbor just regaled me with this heartbreaker. His sister, her husband, and two kids went up to Washington to camp every year. So, they were up there in May, early June, sometime during 2002-2003, and the son went to use a rope swing to jump into the lake. The whole family was watching, fun times. But then everything took an incredibly dark turn.
The boy botched the jump and ended up with the rope around his ankle, fell badly, broke a bone, and was just dragging underwater, flailing. The dad immediately springs into action to save his son and dove in—into shallow water. He smashed his skull open, was instantly paralyzed, and drowned. The mother obviously tried to save them both, dove into the water, and suffered a fatal heart attack.
The son stopped flailing and was just hanging there, head underwater. The daughter, 10 years old, had no idea two minutes prior that she would be sitting safely on shore, watching her whole family die. So incredibly heartbreaking. She was raised by my neighbor as a daughter. I just can’t even imagine what that would be like. Just normal, mundane risks proving lethal in less than 200 heartbeats.
107. Something Strange In The Neighborhood…
When I was around six to eight years old, I remember I had to start asking my mom to go play in the backyard with my siblings so that she could supervise us. We never had to do this previously, so my siblings and I were very confused. Any time we didn’t ask, we got in big trouble. Eventually, when we got older, my mom finally told us the truth. We were absolutely floored.
It turned out the neighbors were harboring a known offender in their house, and that’s why mom got so upset with us going outside without asking.
