Dads have an annoying habit of holding a special place in our hearts—even when they're totally screwing up. They can give terrible advice, embarrass us in front of our friends, and even put us in harm’s way. And yet, somehow, they still come up smelling like roses. Read on and see how your best “dad story” measures up.
1. Spoiled Safari
I'm a Bengali, and like all true Bengalis, we headed up to North Bengal for a chance to see tigers. Spoiler alert: we didn't spot any. After a disappointing day of missing two elephant herds, and not a single wild cat in sight let alone a tiger, we stopped by a dried-out river bed.
We were all pretty worn out, the sun was going down, the peacocks doing their usual loud shrieking. Suddenly, we heard a deep growl. The monkeys started freaking out, a clear indicator a tiger could be close by. Our guide motioned us to scramble back to our jeeps.
We rushed over, but right before getting in, I noticed my dad trying to suppress a huge smirk. After a tiger-less hour, we left and returned to base. The next morning, while everyone was still animatedly discussing the growl, my dad pulled me aside to share a secret.
That growl was his: a massive burp. So, I can proudly declare that my dad once burped so loudly that the entire jungle was tricked into thinking it was a tiger.
2. Family Flees Fuzz
My family and I were on the highway one day, celebrating my sister's birthday with her cake riding in the backseat with us. Out of nowhere, we hear a siren, and see a patrol car following us with its lights flashing. Instead of slowing down, my dad did the unthinkable: He stepped on the gas. My sister's birthday cake rolled crazily in the backseat.
An intense argument between my parents somehow resulted in this high-speed pursuit. Back then, the surroundings were all bushes and cacti, so we managed to lose the patrol car by taking a detour through it. I remember glancing back and seeing nothing but a dust cloud, with lights flashing behind it.
Looking down, I saw the birthday cake looking a mess, but still enclosed in its original clear packaging. This story might make my dad seem odd, and perhaps he has a quirky side, but he’s never been anything but kind to us. I can't even recall a single time he raised his voice. So yeah, this is actually a fun memory for me.
3. Freezer Full Of Squirrels
Once upon a time, when my dad was a college kid, he almost initiated a biohazard alarm on campus. In the heart of Arkansas, he used to hunt loads of squirrels.
After hunting, he would freeze these squirrels and store them in his dorm freezer for a big feast he eagerly planned. This plan changed when he decided to head home for Thanksgiving break just a few days after his freezer was full.
Unbeknownst to him, the university would cut off power in the dorms when students were away. So, imagine the situation when 20 squirrel bodies defrost and marinate in their own decay? Upon his return, he noticed an unbearable stench even outside his dorm. A quick realization dawned upon him about the cause of the smell.
He was among the early birds to return. As he climbed up to his third-floor room, the stench grew so intolerable that he had to stop and throw up twice. Once on his floor, he sprinted straight to his room, not stopping to consider his actions. His room was engulfed with a literal cloud of rot.
Operating on sheer instinct, my dad darted in, and grabbed the decaying squirrels from his freezer. He opened his window and hurled this bag of rot onto the sidewalk far below. As the bag descended and burst open upon impact, he saw a crowd, including firefighters, who had gathered to investigate the situation.
Thankfully, where his bag landed didn't get hit by anyone, but people scattered as soon as it burst open. Later at the dean's office, my father was asked, “Doesn’t seem like college is your thing, right?” Dad agreed, left that university unscathed, and completed his degree somewhere else.
4. Father Flares Fire
Michigan doesn't sell the really exciting fireworks, but Indiana does. So every June, my dad would hop over the state line and come back with a loaded car trunk. On one particularly riotous 4th of July, with some liquid courage in him, Dad randomly grabbed something from the trunk.
He thought he was aiming a gigantic confetti popper at a tree—but he was terribly mistaken. Turns out, that wasn’t a party popper, but his emergency flare. It lodged itself high in the tree and bathed the entire block in a surreal orange glow.
It created quite a spectacle in town, where normally the authorities look the other way on pyrotechnics—unless, of course, someone sets a vehicle on fire or something. However, the sight of an emergency flare will for sure bring them out in full force.
Surprisingly, Dad sobered up real quick at this sight. We frantically stashed all our fancy fireworks inside the garage and cleared away used ones into the lot across the street using snow shovels. Just as the patrol cars and the fire truck rolled in, we, the kids, were innocently playing with sparklers.
Dad, pretending to be an annoyed citizen, was standing with a stern look, glancing at the tree. “My goodness, officer, some troublemakers across the street were letting off roman candles and huge fountains," my dad grilled them, “and dashed off when one of their stunts got trapped in the tree".
He added that he was just about to call when they scarpered. “Aren’t those roman candles risky? They could’ve injured one of the kids!”
5. I’m Usher, Not An Usher
My dad often had to travel for work. His job wasn't high-end, so he usually travelled in the economy class. However, on one occasion, he lucked out and got bumped up to first class at the airport. He was over the moon and quickly settled into the luxury surroundings he'd only imagined before.
My dad is a chatterbox and it didn't matter if he was in first-class or economy, he'd strike up a conversation with anyone. On this particular flight, he ended up spending most of his time talking to a stranger seated next to him. You won't believe it, but that random passenger turned out to be Usher.
6. Where’d Your Fingers Go?
About five years back, my dad inadvertently sliced off three of his fingers while using a saw in our garage. Awful, I know. At the time, my niece was barely five months old, so she grew up never seeing my dad with all his fingers. Eventually, when she was around two and a half, she observed the difference in one of his hands.
One day, she curiously asked him, "Grandpa, what happened to your fingers?" Taken aback, my dad looked at his hand and exclaimed, "Someone took them away!" Her expressions turned to absolute fright as she yelped, "Who took your fingers?" My dad glanced at my mom and had the most mischievious response.
He cried, "Grandma did!" Imagine the scene, my niece went racing up to my mom, pounding on her legs. She was earnestly rummaging through her denim pockets to bring back her grandpa's fingers. That’s my dad for you.
7. That’s Not How To Treat A Lady
When I was 17, my high school sweetheart came to pick me up for a hangout. Instead of coming to the front door, he honked from the driveway. My dad got quite upset, asserting, "That's not the proper way to treat a lady; honking is inappropriate". He was so incensed that he didn't permit me to go out!
For years, he used this incident as a standard for how my boyfriends should behave towards me. Several years later, I married the guy who only honked that day. Sadly, my husband passed a few years into our marriage.
Sometime after, while reminiscing with my dad about how my husband had only honked on our initial date, my dad turned to me, shocked and said, "Wait. That was the same guy?!" Yes, Dad, that was the same guy! He had never realized that I married the guy who honked!
I was equally oblivious that he was in the dark about it! My kids thoroughly enjoy this story—they find it extremely funny.
8. Dad Misses Birth
This is a somber tale, but I feel compelled to share it since it holds a deep personal significance for me. After my parents' marriage, my father frequently returned home late at night in a highly intoxicated state. Virtually every night, he was too impaired to function.
My dad didn't reconsider his drinking problem until my mom went into labor for the first time. It was a disaster. He was far too tipsy to be of any help, so my mom had to rely on our neighbor to drive her to the hospital. My own father, unfit to drive his wife to deliver his firstborn. However, from this darkness emerged light...
From that point forward, he never drank again.
9. Fingers On Ice
My dad was a great guy, safe in all areas of his work. But outside of work, he had a soft spot for strong drinks—really strong ones. On this particular weekend, he's downing some cans, working on a construction project of some sort—could have been a fence, deck, or even an airplane. The man was a jack of all trades.
He was busy in the garage slicing up some timber for this coffin he was putting together. He was using one of those spinny saws—I don't remember the proper name. I was never interested in crafting as a kid, so he never bothered drilling the tool definitions into me. He was just content to continue on with his rocking chair project.
So there he is, decidedly under the influence and sawing away at a piece of two-by-four for the roof of a dog house without paying complete attention. I was on the porch absorbed in my Gameboy, listening to the saw and the bustle of his miniature train station build. He'd told me to keep out of the garage—it could be risky. Wise words.
Suddenly, there wasn't the cry of pain you'd expect when someone nonchalantly chops off their finger tip. Instead, there was the spinning saw sound followed by an odd noise, which turned out to be bone being cut. The saw stopped, and I heard a very calm, "Great, just what I needed on my day off. I was almost done with that dock construct".
He emerged from the garage, his severed fingertip cradled in the hand he'd just injured—nestled between thumb and pinky. His middle finger was raised, with his other hand pressing down on it, like he needed a pause. He caught my eye and said, "Can you open the door for me and then get me some ice for my finger?"
I ran for the ice. In the meantime, he grabbed his wallet and keys. When he found me in the kitchen, he had his injured hand pressed into his side like a vogue model pose. He did not look happy. I held open the bag of ice, he dropped the fingertip inside; then I sealed it and handed it back to him. He stuffed it in his pocket.
Then, he gave me this look like he's figuring out what to do next. Finally, he goes, "Keep this a secret from your mom, she'll just panic over nothing. I'll drive myself to the hospital to get this silly finger sewn back on. If I'm not back by dinner, tell her I'm at the hardware store. Also, stay out of the garage—looks like a scene from a horror movie in there."
Off he went to the hospital. Sure enough, from that day, his middle finger was visibly shorter. As far as I know, I don't think mom knows to this day.
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10. Fruit Out Of The Blue
So, during a family dinner one summer, my sister brought a huge bowl of fruit salad she got from a BBQ the day prior. As we sat there, my dad was studying the salad with a puzzled expression. He then picked up a blueberry and asked, "What are these tiny blue items?"
All of us were baffled and asked, "Don't you know what a blueberry is?" Then it clicked—my mom dislikes blueberries so much that my dad hadn't seen one in 45 years. He had actually forgotten blueberries even existed.
11. Dad Crashes Frat Party
So, my dad once attended the Father's Weekend event arranged by my sorority. Despite being a 50-year-old father of four, he often acts as though he's still 21. When the event wasn't keeping him entertained, he managed to convince my roommate’s dad to join him in crashing a fraternity party—and they successfully did.
They roamed our street until finding a party to bust into. Once there, they knocked, got inside, and promptly mocked the poor quality of the drinks available. Not to be deterred, they bought a keg of "top-notch" drinks to spice up the scene. Soon enough, they were throwing back shots and becoming pals with the fraternity guys.
Fast forward an hour, and my dad has befriended the frat guys. He starts introducing them to the music he used to groove on back in his college days. They ask him to play it over the speakers. Amped up, he not only plays some tunes but also jumps onto a table and starts dancing.
The table breaks, but rather than being embarrassed, he's hailed as the life of the party. A year has passed, and people are still talking about my dad's adventures.
12. This Show Is Rated R
One morning at 8, we heard a rap on our front door. It felt oddly early for an unexpected visitor. Still, my dad, for reasons unknown, decided to answer the door in just his underpants. Standing there was a salesman, clearly taken aback. After the salesman hastily left, my mom couldn't hide her shock and asked dad why he did that.
Dad shrugged and replied, "Well, if folks don't want to see a show, they shouldn't turn up for the early performance".
13. Mayday Hilarity
Once, my dad took my brother's walkie-talkie and tricked us—plus around 10 neighborhood kids—into thinking we'd tuned into a signal from a crashing airplane. For an hour, we frantically sprinted up and down the streets with our eyes glued to the sky, listening to the "pilot's" desperate call for help.
Before long, though, laughter wafted from my dad's open windows after each mayday call, revealing his hilarious and slightly wicked prank.
14. Better Safe Than Sorry
As I was heading to my car, all set for college, my dad hollered, "HEY" from the front doorway. I spun around only to see him hauling a massive box of extra-large contraceptives my way, which he chucked towards me with all his might. The box smacked me right in the nose while he bellowed, "CARE PACKAGE," and then darted inside, chortling.
Dad, it's a nice gesture, but I don't really have a need for them.
15. Fire In His Eyes
When I was a youngster, my father, a hardworking truck driver, was a pillar of honesty. We resided in a somewhat rough trailer community. One day, a neighbour falsely accused me and my best friend of tampering with his mailbox and threatened to harm us.
Both my father and my best friend's father, an ex-Marine Captain, happened to be outdoors at the time. Recounting the incident later, my best friend's Dad would describe the intense fury in my father's eyes, almost needing to hold him back from catapulting across the chain-link fence to confront the accuser.
The neighbour quickly backed down, as my dad warned, "Keep moving, pal".
16. Sugar Daddy
Once, my dad was lounging on the sofa in our family room. Mom gave him a bag of sugar to open for her. He ripped it open as if it was a packet of chips, and boy, SUGAR. WAS. ALL. OVER. THE. PLACE. Since he was only in his shorts, just about every bit of exposed body hair, plus our sofa and our rug were coated in sugar.
He needed four back-to-back showers to completely get rid of it all.
17. Crash Landing
Back when I was a kid, my dad used to love adrenaline-pumping activities like paragliding. One day—I was around 11 at the time—while my mom, my sister, and I were visiting my grandma for the weekend, Dad decided to go paragliding from a hill close to our house.
In the midst of his landing, something went wrong. His paraglider's canopy collapsed, causing him to plummet 30 meters straight into a field below. Despite the intense pain, he found the strength to gather his gear, walk 20 minutes back home, and even managed to get a neighbor to drive him to retrieve his car. He then drove himself half an hour to the hospital.
The doctors examined him at the hospital and discharged him with only a prescription for pain relievers. Back home, the intense pain continued, leading him to call my mom, who was a senior nurse at the same hospital. She instructed him to stay absolutely still until she could get home—no easy feat.
About two hours later, we got home and my mom immediately took him back to the hospital, scolding the doctors for not having done an x-ray. Turns out they had missed two crushed vertebrae that could have caused paralysis. His recovery process involved a six-month stint wearing a cast we jokingly called his "turtle shell".
It marked the end of his paragliding hobby. We thought about suing the hospital for negligence but decided not to in the end.
18. A Problematic Slip-Up
So, first off, my dad is an absolute gem. He's always up for a laugh and wouldn't dream of being prejudiced. Picture this, it's 1998, and my dad's taking me to my college orientation. Being city-raised, I fancied a change, so I chose an undergrad school smack-dab in the rural countryside, inevitably meaning that there was minimal diversity.
Now, back in my day, our family had this darling little black jeep we fondly nicknamed "Little Blackie". Any time one of us spotted a twin-like jeep, we'd all burst out laughing and shout, "Hey! Look! It's Little Blackie!" You can probably predict where this is heading.
We're wandering around the campus, and lo and behold, there sits a jeep identical to our old Little Blackie. Excitedly, my dad starts shouting, "Hey! Look! Little Blackie!! LITTLE BLACKIE!!!". Unfortunately, right at that moment, the only African American student on campus was passing by.
My dad had no clue and kept on hollering. The lad gave me a scornful look, and I wished for nothing more but to become invisible. Luckily, we became close buddies during my first year, and after I nervously explained the mix-up, he couldn't stop laughing—huge relief! That moment remains on my cringe-list till date though.
19. Nature Too Well Preserved
Once, my dad had me drive for three solid hours away from home to check out a wildlife sanctuary. His idea was to capture snaps of the birds there. But there was just one problem. Every single bird was made out of plastic. Apparently, the bird flocks had ceased their return trips to the sanctuary, so they had to resort to plastic bird models for the visitors.
The real knee-slapper was how it took forever to convince my dad that those birds were indeed plastic.
20. Cool About The Pool
Once, I had a secret party at home while my parents were out. It was one of those where girls ended up dancing on the pool table, with one of them eating Cheetos. Inevitably, she left Cheeto smudges on the felt top. I hurriedly tried to clean it, but I couldn't completely remove the stains before my parents returned.
Seeing the table, my dad called me down for an explanation. I racked my brain for an excuse but found none. So, I straight up told him the whole story. After I described the scene of the girls dancing on the pool table, he was quiet for a bit, and then simply said, "Nice".
21. As Green As The Hulk
Once, we visited Universal Studios where my dad bravely decided to accompany me on The Hulk roller coaster. He was aware it would throw his stomach into a frenzy, but still, he endured it just because he knew I wouldn't dare to ride without him. He looked absolutely pale and his stomach was on strike for the rest of the day after we descended.
But as for me, I ended up adoring the roller coaster ride.
22. Mind Blown
Once, to celebrate my acceptance into a prestigious high school, my dad surprised me with an awesome gift. I'm a massive aviation fan, so when he mentioned that we were off to see a Fifi grounded, I was ecstatic. You see, at that time, Fifi was the only operational B-29 in the world. Witnessing it in person would be an experience of a lifetime.
As we were on our way to the airfield, we received a call from the event organizers. They urged us to hurry, indicating that they're preparing us for a 'flight'. My dad had organized for me to fly in this extraordinary plane—not just to see it on the ground. I was beside myself with excitement and ended up having one of the greatest days ever. Hats off to dad!
23. Soda Makes Dad Sprint
One evening, we were hanging out around a bonfire. My brother's buddy had the idea to place a can of Mountain Dew close to the fire, letting it heat up slowly. When it burst, it sounded like a firework. Embers flew forty feet up and scattered twenty-five feet around.
Once we regained our bearings, we saw the silhouette of our dad bolting back indoors. He'd mistaken the noise for real shots. I mean, I've never seen him run that fast. Just to be clear, he was already inside the house.
24. Defending My Honor
I was about seven or eight years old, trekking back home from a fun snow day merry-making at my friend's hilly backyard. I noticed the neighborhood lads around my age (I'm a girl) had built some sort of a fort. I paused to appreciate it, but there were no kids around. So, I continued my journey home.
Out of nowhere, about five boys leapt out from behind the fort and hammered me with a rain of snowballs. Seems like they also spent their day making lots of snowballs, lying in wait for an unsuspecting passerby. I was an unsuspecting, petite little girl that these unwitting boys didn't understand they were overdoing it with.
They knocked me to the ground, not letting up their bombardment, targeting mostly my face and head. After the initial shock, I shielded myself with my snow saucer and eventually managed to get up and sprint away. They only stopped once they ran out of ammo. Finally at peace, I stopped running, extremely distressed.
I was trudging along, sobbing, clumsily wiping my face with my oversized gloves, when my dad's car pulled up beside me. He'd been at work, despite the weather. Spotting my tears, he asked, "Need a lift, kiddo?" So, I hopped in.
At first, I didn't want to tell him why I was crying—I was ashamed and didn't want to snitch. Once we reached home, he insisted that I share what had happened. After relaying the details, he told me to go inside and freshen up for dinner, assuring he'd join shortly.
Fast-forward ten years. I was organizing a grand high school graduation cookout, inviting all the neighborhood kids. Some of the boys from the snowball incident said they felt uneasy coming to my parents' house. Confused, I asked, "Why's that?"
Then they recollected this story from that snowy day years ago. After I went inside, my dad, still in his suit and tie, drove back to their fort and gave them a real piece of his mind. He warned them he'd let their parents know if they didn't come out. Once the boys assembled, dad demolished their fort, squashing it down.
This was followed up by creating huge adult-sized snowballs from the ruins, ensuring each miscreant received a face full of their once cherished fort.
25. Dad Vader
Back in my grade school days, the Star Wars franchise released new films. My dad's workplace rented out an entire cinema for the premiere, so we got to skip school a bit early to watch it. My dad went the whole nine yards, showing up in a complete Darth Vader outfit, helmet and lightsaber included.
He hilariously snuck into our classroom and surprised one of my classmates, announcing, "Kevin, I am your father". In that moment, I felt an overwhelming sense of embarrassment, but looking back, I can't help but laugh at my dad's antics.
Piqsels
26. Home Invasion
Once, my father nearly cut my throat mistaking me for an intruder. I was tiptoeing downstairs for some odd reason and ended up in the kitchen. Hearing him coming in, I instinctively hid behind the kitchen counter. I could hear the sound of him opening and rummaging through drawers.
Suddenly, he had leaned over the counter, grasped my head, and held a kitchen blade to my throat. In the next moment, he recognized it was me and let go. He immediately scolded me, having heard my breathing, which made him believe there was a burglar in the house.
In that brief moment, I almost found myself in a terrible predicament due to the misunderstanding. He was still trembling from the adrenaline rush. Now being a father myself, I can completely understand the fear and panic he must have felt then.
27. Dad VS. Armadillo
My dad is obsessed with maintaining a pristine lawn. Once, an armadillo was practically destroying our garden, and he grumbled about it each time he stepped foot outside. After enduring a week-long invasion of said armadillo, I was abruptly woken up by the sounds of shots at 4:30 in the morning, followed by some incredibly impressive swearing.
I rushed downstairs to see what was happening and joined my mom by the window, where we watched my dad's valiant attempt to defeat the armadillo. What he hadn't anticipated was the unexpected speed and quick movements of the small creature.
The armadillo was sprinting, evading, and even leaping high to dodge the bullets, while my dad was in hot pursuit, fervently aiming and shouting. Ultimately, my dad succeeded. The armadillo met its end, our backyard was rescued, and I learned a new range of colourful phrases, making me the most verbally adventurous student in my third-grade class.
28. Superhuman Strength
When I was around eight or nine, my family and I took a trip to Las Vegas and stayed at the MGM Grand. The lower level of the hotel was filled with shops and restaurants, and during our visit, I needed to use the restroom. I went into the stall, did what I needed to do, but when I tried to leave, the door wouldn’t budge.
The stall door was built close to the ground, so there was no getting under it. I called out to my Dad, who was nearby at the urinal. He came over and took me completely by surprise. He seized the stubborn door, and tore it right off its hinges as if it were a piece of paper. He then propped the door against the wall, and we casually walked out.
Boy, I'll always remember that moment.
29. Blender Boy
One time, just before I wrapped up high school, my dad decided to have a serious chat with me about social life in college. The conversation took a wild turn when he started reminiscing and sharing his wild party experiences. To my surprise, he suggested that owning a blender with a 100 ft extension cord was the ultimate secret to making friends.
According to him, while his friends would head outside for a game of basketball or something, he'd take his blender along and whip up margaritas. "We attracted so many girls because of that blender, people are drawn to the guy with a blender," he said.
Normally my dad is extremely serious and straight-forward, so his advice completely threw me off.
30. A Study In Pink
When I was a kid, I used to be pretty deep into competitive swimming so my mom would often bring me to competitions all across the country, leaving my dad and younger brother at home. One time, we took a trip up north for a few days right after having insulation installed in our house. Have you ever seen that process?
They drill holes into the walls and pump insulation in, leaving visible cream-colored patches everywhere. Right before we left for the competition, my mom turned to my dad and said, "Please paint the house". He replied with a simple, "Sure thing, honey". Fast forward to three days later, and we're pulling into our driveway at midnight.
My mom's face is a picture of shock. Our house is brightly lit by floodlights showcasing our once white home, now decorated with enormous pink blotches. There, at the foot of our home mass of lights, stood my dad and younger brother on ladders, covered in pink paint, grinning from ear to ear.
Needless to say, after that drama, my mom made sure her instructions were more detailed. She was decidedly not amused.
31. The Facts Of Life
Once when I was about 10, my dad asked me to come into his room. Both he and my mom were there, not wearing any clothes, just casually prepping their outfit for the day. They seemed perfectly okay with the situation, casually asking me about something unconnected.
I eventually pushed this unnerving memory aside, convincing myself it was just a dream. But there was more to it. A decade later, they explained to me that this odd encounter was their method of teaching me about the human body because I was nearing "that age".
32. Girl On Fire
Once, my dad accidentally lit a person aflame. He was chatting with some friends and smoking, when a young lady approached and asked for a light. As my dad flicked his lighter, the woman leaned in and her hair instantly caught fire, presumably due to an excess of hairspray.
Thankfully, she wasn't hurt badly. To this day, my dad still shares this surprising story with others.
33. Sweaty Swipe
One day, my brother's car ended up getting towed. My dad took us to the towing yard to collect it. I'm not sure why, but the fellow behind the counter wasn't the friendliest. When he swiveled around to fetch our documents, my dad humorously grabbed the release fee in his trousers.
Houston, Texas is our home, and let me tell you, it can get pretty steamy here! Anyway, when the man at the desk turned back, my dad, with a wink, handed over the "freshened" cash.
34. Big Foot On The Loose
Once upon a time, my pals and I decided to camp beside the lake on my folks' land. My dad had this Sasquatch suit he kept stashed just for these occasions and honestly, I should've been more cautious. As dusk was settling, we were all gathered around the campfire chatting, when we started hearing twigs snapping from the shrubs close to our camp zone.
Suddenly, out of nowhere, my dad charges out of the bushes disguised as Bigfoot. As you can imagine, we were all very close to wetting ourselves from fright.
35. Purse Snatched
My folks split up when I was just a toddler. I used to see my mom on the weekends, but I was pretty much "daddy's little princess". My dad was always there for me, pampering and taking care of me. When I was a kid, I always dreamt of going to Disney World, but it was way too pricey.
Then, when I turned 13, my dad figured we could finally go there while visiting my granddad, who recently moved to Florida. My dad has always been kind of a "clean freak," sort of like Danny Tanner. He also had this cringey habit of wearing a fanny pack, which was a bit embarrassing to me.
One day, during our Florida trip, we decided to spend a day at the beach with my grandaunt. While she and I were having fun feeding seagulls, my dad was chilling on one of those beach chairs that sat low on the sand, with his fanny pack sitting right next to him.
Suddenly, a wave swept in and carried off his fanny pack. My aunt and I were still busy with the seagulls when we heard my dad shouting at the top of his lungs, "My purse. My purse!!!" He started sprinting towards the water, stumbling into the ocean. My aunt and I couldn't help but burst into laughter.
He managed to retrieve his precious "purse" and begged us not to tell grandpa. The moment we arrived back at granddad's house, I couldn't wait to blurt out, "OMG grandpa! You won't believe what dad just did!"
36. Don’t Sass Santa
When my siblings and I were little and still believed in Santa Claus, our dad created an unforgettable memory for us. After we had all gone to bed on Christmas Eve, he suddenly shouted out, "I don't care who you are, big guy, move that sled from my roof". We all woke up and scolded dad not to be mean to Santa.
37. A Blind Date
Once, my dad decided to visit his girlfriend's place with our family dog. His only travel option was taking two buses each way. However, in New Zealand, dogs are only allowed on buses if they're guide dogs for the visually impaired. Since our dog wasn’t, my dad needed to be creative.
Luckily, he was a prop guy in the movie business, so he knew a thing or two about pretending. So, my dad gathered a walking cane from his collection, some white gaffer tape, a pair of black sunglasses, and a high-vis vest.
Then, he started to act the part, with the aim of convincing the bus driver that our small, chubby Jack Russell was indeed a guide dog. And let me tell you how he pulled it off. My dad tried to fool the driver by giving the incorrect fare, faking missing steps, avoiding any eye contact, and letting our dog decide the direction.
He managed to do this successfully, two times going there and two times coming back, without anyone questioning him. I only heard about this wild stunt when a friend of mine, who was on the same bus, visited to express his sympathy for my "suddenly blind" dad.
38. He Hit The Showers…And The Toilet Too
We had a family barbeque by the lake, and the grown-ups started a round of volleyball. Naturally, my dad decided to participate and, as always, threw himself into the game wholeheartedly. Someone hit the ball way outside the playing field, but dad, being the competitive guy he is, sprinted after it anyway.
He dashed for the ball, then attempted to make a sideways leap. Next thing we knew, my dad landed smack-dab into the nearby men's restroom and plunged directly into a closed stall, leaving a massive dent on the door. Then dad dashes out of there at full speed—with the ball in hand.
A moment later, a guy steps out from the men's restroom looking totally bewildered. By now, all of us are in fits of laughter. This is one story that's brought up a lot whenever the family gets together.
39. Brain Compensation
My dad often had a way of avoiding tasks he wasn't too keen on. Take the example when he delayed an eye test for three years. When he eventually made it to the optometrist, he discovered he had an interesting predicament on his hands.
His right eye was taking care of seeing distant objects, while his left eye had taken up close-up duty. It turns out, he'd developed farsightedness at some point during this period, and his brain had intuitively adjusted.
40. Prison Dad Gets An Eyeful
My dad used to work in a downtown penitentiary, and he adored his job. As he used to say, "Even if I won the lottery, I'd still work here without any pay". He's a tall, muscular guy, who looks more like an inmate than a guard, totally content, like a kid in a candy store.
One night, around 1 am, when he got home from his night shift, I heard the garage door open and close. Then the sound of him scrambling up the stairs, which was odd. Was something wrong? Did someone pass? Out of nowhere, he barged into my room, and from inches away, hollered, "Guess what I saw at work? Spotted two guys doing their thing in a bunk!"
Just like that, he departed—the door crashed shut, the light was extinguished, and the house fell quiet. That extraordinary exchange with my dad has left a deep imprint on me. Life might bring plenty of achievements—awards, marriage, a big happy family of my own—but this peculiar memory seems to have wedged itself into my top 10 recollections list.
As I age, standing at the twilight of my life, I'll reflect on that night and wonder. What on earth possessed my father to wake up his 13-year-old son at 1 am to share that bit of news.
Shutterstock41. Sons Sees The Light
I didn't get to spend much time with my dad as he lived quite a distance away and was working on sorting out his life. Yet, I would make the effort to visit him once a month over a weekend. Whenever I went there, I took my school work along and spent a couple of days with him. Then, an unexpected and memorable incident happened.
One day, while I was at his computer and he was watching TV in the same room, he asked me if I'd like to "see something". Little did I know about what was coming. He brought a cardboard box from his closet and handed it over to me. To my surprise and embarrassment, inside the box was a huge, 15-inch purple adult toy.
I gave him a puzzled look, only to see him laughing and boasting about his plans to make a lamp out of the object. Throughout the weekend, we joked about it, creating fun memories. When I left for home, the jokes and everything were quickly forgotten. Fast forward to a month later, as I enter his apartment, I'm greeted by a faint purple glow.
I followed the light and found a giant purple lamp, standing proudly on my dad's coffee table. Surprise took over and I dropped my bags as he clapped twice to switch off the lamp. My dad had taken an absurd idea and turned it into reality. He truly is legendary.
42. Juice Chuggers
Once, my dad unexpectedly took us to my uncle's house. Without knowing the reason, my twin and I were coaxed into a funny orange juice drinking competition by my dad. Eventually, we discovered the real motive behind the game.
Our dad had us drink all that juice so my uncle could refill the jug with his own "drinks," and have his last few swigs before my dad took him to rehab. So...yeah, that was an interesting day.
43. Taking On The Church
When I was born, my parents were unmarried. My dad was a practicing Catholic who wished for me to be baptized at his church. My mom, on the other hand, did not follow any religion and didn't really mind where or how my baptism took place.
So, off my dad went to his local church—a place a lot more than just a spiritual home, it had been a central part of his life and that of his ancestors who had built it 200 years earlier. The old priest, an old friend and guide from my father's younger years, had retired, which my dad didn't think would spell trouble.
However, the new priest proved difficult. He bluntly told my father that he wouldn't baptize me because, in his eyes, a baby born out of wedlock wouldn't get a place in heaven. My dad, being the rational man he was, found a solution.
He refused to put up with the priest's stubbornness and disruption, telling him there was a special corner in Hades for people who keep kids away from God. This started a plan brewing in his mind. Dad was well-versed in Christian teachings, having served as an altar boy until 17.
He dived back into the Bible, revisiting the sections that he thought might hold a solution to his predicament. And he found it. As per a rule in Christianity, any individual who has been baptized can perform the baptism of another. Being a priest, pastor, or similar, isn't necessary.
So, drawing on that, he carried out my baptism himself. Using regular tap water which he turned into holy water, he baptized me right there in our kitchen sink, while mom was away picking up my sisters from school. Coming home, she was surprised yet relieved to hear from him, "Everything's taken care of. Our little one's baptized".
Expecting that he'd found another church for the ceremony, she asked him about it. However, he had tackled the issue himself, as he revealed the biblical passage justifying his action, and proudly shared how he'd baptized me in the kitchen sink. God, I miss him.
44. Dad Gets Bitten
Once, my dad was camping and bumped into a rattlesnake. Sure as sun, it bit him right on the arm. He quickly ran to the doctor who gave him advice on how to heal quicker. She told him the trick was to keep his hand in constant motion for good circulation. The doctor warned him that if he couldn't keep up with this, they might have to remove the arm.
That's the interesting story of how my dad took up the guitar.
45. Pool Deck Walrus
On a blistering summer day, my somewhat stocky and plump dad decided to take us to the pool for a refreshing swim. Oddly enough, once we arrived, he acted like a walrus lounging by the poolside. Supporting himself on his arms, he declared, "I'm a walrus!" with a roaring voice. Next, he playfully tumbled into the water like a barrel roll. As a 15-year-old, I was left mortified.
46. Like Taking Candy From A Baby
Once on Halloween, some trick-or-treaters showed up at our house. My Dad was the one to answer the door. When one of them shouted, "Trick or treat!" my Dad cheerfully responded, "Treat, please!" The kids all exchanged puzzled looks. Then, somewhat unwillingly, one of them gave my Dad a Kitkat.
Dad accepted it with a thank you, and closed the door. We didn't see any more trick-or-treaters that year.
47. Saw Story Stays Secret
Once, my big brother and I were assisting our dear father in chopping down some trees in the backyard. The chainsaw got stuck momentarily, and when dad pulled on it a tad too forcefully, disaster struck—it made contact with my brother's leg. We all froze, staring at the four perfectly spaced rips in his jeans. But to our relief, there was no blood.
Miraculously, the chainsaw had only skimmed his pants without reaching the skin. Dad's immediate response was a classic: "Don't tell your mom!" And even after two decades, we've kept that secret.
48. Bloody Poker Game
My friends and I used to host a weekly poker game, and my dad often joined us. One particularly icy evening, he had a few too many drinks and decided to bicycle home. We spent a good 15 minutes trying to convince him to take a ride from one of my buddies, but he stubbornly said no.
About 10 minutes later, I hear a knock on the door. Opening it, I just couldn't believe what I saw. There was my dad, his face half-covered in blood, simply mumbling, "I fell over". He staggered inside, fell once more, then cleaned himself up and dozed off on the couch.
49. Dad To The Rescue
Once upon a time, my friends pushed me into going on a double date with a guy I didn't like at all. We were both working in a local fast food place, and despite having told him repeatedly that I wasn't interested, he attempted to ask me out, putting me in an incredibly awkward position.
This happened during his day off, while I was in the midst of a hectic shift. He showed up in fancy attire like he was about to attend a wedding and handed me a bouquet of flowers in the middle of the lunch hour rush. The whole scene was utterly embarrassing, and made even worse when everyone began to chant, "say yes, say yes".
I reluctantly agreed, left work in tears, and felt trapped into seeing this through. Throughout the date and afterwards, it was crystal clear that I wasn't interested. Yet, he persistently called, texted, and even left creepy and threatening voicemails. He drove past my house a few times, which alarmed my parents.
Noticing that I was upset, they asked what was going on. I confided in them about the guy and even played the voicemails for them to hear. Upon hearing this, my dad interrogated me about our next shared shift. After he finished his shift at the factory, this burly and intimidating figure, covered in grease and in his uniform, showed up at the restaurant.
He hugged me and asked where the guy was, leaving everyone stunned and speechless. My dad was known to our circle as a jovial, kind-hearted man, so this scenario left everyone amazed at his abrupt stormy entrance. When I pointed out the guy in the kitchen, his face paled.
My dad warned him sternly: “Quit bothering my daughter, or I'll find myself back behind bars". Then, nonchalantly told me he loved me and that dinner was waiting at home. He casually greeted some familiar faces and strolled out as if nothing happened. The guy went on his break and never returned, never bothering me ever again.
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