People find most white lies harmless and forgivable. After all, who hasn’t stretched the truth from time to time? But not all lies can be forgiven. Some are so unbelievable, so cruel, or just so totally unhinged that you can’t let them slide. Here are some of the worst lies the people of the internet have heard in their lives.
1. She Got Called Out
I had a friend who was just full of it. She had told me that her dad was locked up because he had hired an assassin to “eliminate” her and her mother. Imagine my surprise, then, when a couple of weeks later, she mentioned that she was going to her dad’s house for the weekend. She would also point at ANYONE remotely attractive and say, “I’ve slept with them.” It was so annoying. But her worst lie was just pathetic.
She tried to fake a phone call, pretending to talk to a boy she was seeing. That’s when I had a devious idea. I called her phone and it rang while she was speaking mid-sentence. She stuttered in embarrassment and then said, “You calling me must have cut my call off!” I told her to ring him back, and she refused. She was relentless, and we stopped being friends when I called her out on her nonsense.
2. This Was Not La Vérité
My old co-worker was a chronic liar and was constantly telling absolute whoppers. He had purchased dope from our other co-worker on credit and wasn’t paying her back. He would claim he had just spent his last dollar or didn’t have his wallet on him. She finally had enough and said, “Listen, tomorrow is payday, so I want the money you owe me.”
His reply remains the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard: “The craziest thing happened to me last night. After work, I went out to the bar, and I met this French girl. She was an absolute smoke show—hottest girl you’ve ever seen. We had a few drinks and really hit it off. I ended up back at her place, and of course, I smashed. I drove home and went to bed.”
“The next day, I realized that I left my pants at her apartment. So I drive back to her place and knock on the door—her roommate answers. I say, is Bianca home? She says no, she went back to France. The girl was a foreign exchange student! She took my pants with her, and my paycheck was in the back pocket!” He tried to present this as something that actually happened. My favorite part was that he drove home without pants but didn’t notice.
3. He Was An Expert Con Artist
Right after college, I worked at a call center with this guy. We started our day walking around the building to see the fire exits, cafeteria, mailroom, etc. This was when he told us he grew up in California and was the youngest person in the state’s history to get his pilot’s license. We all thought that was pretty neat. Then a year later, I found out the truth: He was born and raised in Connecticut. That was just the first lie of so, so many…
As time went by, he made a lot of claims that people thought were pretty odd. He said he spoke several languages fluently, including Spanish, Italian, Portuguese, Chinese, which isn’t odd. However, he was a bit of a moron, so it wasn’t believable. Although his claims weren’t inherently crazy, he always chimed in on topics saying that he was an expert in all of them.
One day in early December, I saw him in the break room, and he asked me how I was. I told him good and asked him the same. He said, “To be honest, I’m exhausted. I’ve been staying up every night whittling German dolls for people here for Christmas gifts.” He asked me if I wanted one, to which I said, “Sure.” Needless to say, I didn’t get one, and neither did anyone else at work receive or even hear of such things. It was just a random lie from his twisted mind.
One day, we had a potluck, and he brought in a cake. The cake was clearly purchased from a bakery, as it was professionally made and came in the bakery box. He made a point to tell people he woke up at 2 AM to bake it. When it was pointed out the box had the bakery’s name on it, he said it was just a bakery box he had at his house.
Another time I was on break and was going to run down to the gas station for an energy drink when I saw him getting out of a minivan and shuffling to work. He usually drove a sedan. He jogged over to me and said, “I’m sorry I’m late. I was t-boned by an old man on my way in, so I had to get a ride back to my house and use my wife’s car.” The next day, he drove his regular sedan to work that didn’t have a scratch on it. He kept up his lies until the day I left.
4. He Kept Adding Fuel To The Fire
I had a coworker who claimed to be a firefighter. In my city, firefighters had a starting salary of about $70K. The job we were at paid around $30K. He was also always picking up over time, so it didn’t make any sense. But that was just the beginning. A while later, he said he was also a professor at a local university and taught chemistry. I asked him to name three elements, and he couldn’t. He continued with his lies by saying he was dating a model. When I asked for a picture of her, he googled some women.
He made up being robbed at gunpoint and said he fought off all four attackers in the work parking lot—he was 5’1”. He even filed a grievance and was talked out of filing a report. He claimed to own four vehicles but always drove the same beat-up truck. He went as far as to convince a supervisor he had been recently promoted to supervisor. It was often hilarious, but you couldn’t help feel bad for him. No one really wanted much to do with him.
5. There Was No Running From This Lie
I went to high school with a pathological liar who you could just nudge a tiny bit, and he would go off on these long, elaborate, and impossible stories. The best one was when he supposedly got chased by a law enforcement helicopter through the woods while stashing an 18-pack of booze down his pants. He said he ended up outrunning the helicopter, and because of it, the officers proclaimed, “You’re cool” over the loudspeaker—from the aircraft that he said he had outrun.
6. His Untruths Didn’t Measure Up
I worked with a guy where every story he told was a lie. He told me he surveyed the football stadium in our town prior to its construction. I checked the dates, and if it were true, he was a qualified surveyor at six years old. Then, he told me his body chemistry was immune to acid and that you could pour battery acid on him and it would not affect him. There were dozens of small stories like those and a few really big ones too.
7. I Couldn’t Process What He Was Saying
I knew a guy in high school who would tell crazy, crazy lies. He said he hacked into Microsoft and built them a better firewall, owned a commercial fishing boat, and lived in Antarctica for six months before coming to our school. He said that he beat a level in a video game that just straight up doesn’t exist and continued spreading various tech-related lies, such as claiming he had a laptop with a terabyte of RAM. He basically said anything and everything he could that would make him feel better.
8. Hardly A Model Parent
My mom was a heavy user and would make up all sorts of things. She told me she had a different name that she went by “when she was famous.” She would point out pictures of models and actresses that somewhat resembled her and tell me, “Look, that’s mommy!” Those lies were sad, but this next one was despicable: She told me, her child, that she had a chronic illness and that her doctor prescribed medication that she had to either snort or smoke, but I couldn’t tell anyone about it.
9. I Wouldn’t Bank On What He Said
We had a kid at my high school who was obsessed with convincing everyone he was rich. He would always talk about his dad’s Lambos, how he didn’t have a job but “had money coming in.” It was interesting because no one would ask, and he just kept pushing the lie. Eventually, he posted a bank account photo on Facebook to “prove” how rich he was. It was literally a copy of the first Google result of “big bank account.” It was sad.
10. I Tried To Steer Away From This Lie
My ex-husband lied as easily as he breathed. He would make up conversations that never happened, events that didn’t happen, etc. Eventually, it got to the point I didn’t believe a single word he said. I needed to use his pickup truck one day, so he drove my car to work. When he came home, he asked if I knew someone who drove a certain kind of car, which I did not.
He said he was just driving when this car started tailgating him and getting aggressive, so he took to the back roads. He proceeded to tell me this car chased him down these back roads and fired at him for no reason. It completely didn’t happen, but he was very accusatory about it. He inferred that somehow people I knew had reasons to try to harm me or whoever was driving my car.
11. I Couldn’t Foresee She Was A Liar
I had a friend throughout school with whom I was close. Growing up, I always thought she just had an intensely interesting life. She had told me that she had gone to Japan, that she was on America’s Most Talented Kid and won, AND that she was a licensed psychic. As I got older, I started seeing how these things didn’t make sense. Unfortunately, it wasn’t until middle school that I was sure it was all a ruse.
12. It Was All A Lump Of Lies
When I was 14 years old, I knew a girl my age who said she had a brain tumor. She stated her tumor was the reason for her new haircut, which was a side shave. She also told me that I couldn’t talk about it with her parents. She didn’t want to tell them because they would worry. Six years later, my best friend actually had a brain tumor. The thought of that person’s lie still makes me furious to this day.
13. He Served Up A Tall Tale
I was in a tennis ladder with a bunch of other guys on the same team at work. I was supposed to play this guy one night. He came into my cubicle and said he couldn’t play because he had something to do that night with his other job. The next morning I came in, checked my email, and the guy who organized the tennis ladder had posted the results from the game the night before.
It had included me beating this guy. I went to the ladder organizer and asked who told him that we had played that night. The response blew my mind. He said it was the chronic liar guy, and he gave a very detailed account of how good I was. He said I had a great backhand and drop shot and all sorts of details about the match. It was just weird how someone would lie about something like that and make up such elaborate details for it as well.
14. His Story Was Working Against Him
I knew a guy who would lie about anything and everything. He told everyone he was working when in reality, he was just going to the park for eight hours, eating lunch, and coming home. He also told people that his dad was no longer with us, even though he was very much alive and involved in the guy’s life. At his wedding, his dad was sitting there, and the guys’ friends were completely confused.
15. He Would Lie Like A Fish
I used to work with a guy who we dubbed “That’s Nothing” because that’s how he would start his sentences. You could say, “I went snorkeling on the weekend,” and he would respond like it was a competition, saying, “That’s nothing. I was scuba diving once, and my mate was trapped in some netting in a shipwreck. I had to fire my harpoon from 15 meters away, landing straight next to his head, which cut him free.” I never knew how to respond. All I could say was, “Ok cool. I saw a starfish.”
16. I Couldn’t Help But Wander About Her
My former high school best friend had claimed that she had been mauled by a bear and that she was a gypsy. Although she looked white, she was definitely not Roma or anyone else who could claim that term. But her lies just kept getting scarier. She said that while she was traveling in her “parents’ caravan,” she witnessed a man being lynched. She also claimed that she was allergic to peanut butter and regularly threatened to harm herself by intentionally triggering an allergic reaction. I had to talk her down on numerous occasions, only for it to be revealed she never had an allergy in the first place.
17. The Chef’s Market Myth
I knew a fellow named Michael who had to trump everyone’s story with one of his own, and somehow, he always wound up being an action hero in them. I heard him talk about how he was “issued access” to a fighter jet at age seventeen, how he once saved the president from some plot or another, and how he had an impromptu threesome with some “very famous celebrity and her sister” in the Sacramento River.
Suffice it to say that this guy wasn’t exactly believable. And I haven’t even gotten to the craziest lie he ever told. The lie so big, it took an entire evening to tell. There was a weekly event called “The Chef’s Market” in my town. Since there wasn’t a whole lot else to do in the area, we would frequently spend Friday evenings there, wasting what little money we had on slabs of barbecued meat and cups of too-sweet lemonade.
A local party coordinator had set up an inflatable stage of sorts on one such occasion. Two contestants were encouraged to knock each other off of low platforms using weapons that looked rather like enormous Q-tips. It seemed like a lot of fun, so I offered to pay for anyone who wanted to spar against me. Michael said he couldn’t, claiming he was opposed to violence unless it was absolutely necessary.
When we rolled our eyes, Michael continued, saying, “If I go in that ring with you, I will annihilate you. I won’t have a choice. It’s my training. Once I get into a combat state, I can’t stop until I’ve destroyed someone.” Now, Michael clearly was not someone that we spent much time around by choice, and none of us were too keen on talking him into an activity that he was obviously afraid of trying.
My other friends and I went a few rounds, knocked each other down a few times, and figured we’d head off to find a drink. As soon as we started walking, though, Michael started into the next leg of his story, asking, “Do you guys know why I have that training?” Someone replied sarcastically, “Because you’re a ninja!” Michael nodded. This is where things REALLY went off the deep end.
He said, “Yes. I was trained in kung fu from a very young age, and I got so good that my family got run out of the last town where we lived.” Nobody said anything. We certainly didn’t ask him to continue, but he did anyway. “They even hatched a plot to try and get me thrown in prison. This girl broke into my house one night and tried to seduce me, but I had a girlfriend, so I turned her away. That’s when she went to the authorities and tried to say that I forced myself on her.”
Michael’s voice became very grave, and he said, “Fortunately, I was friends with the owner of the hospital. He helped me after I accidentally killed my karate teacher.” Someone commented about the difference between karate and kung fu, but Michael either didn’t hear them or pressed onward anyway.” He tested the girl himself, and he found semen in her, but it wasn’t mine, and it wasn’t human.”
He waited for a reaction. When it didn’t come, he escalated the story even further by saying, “That started a rumor that I was a genetically engineered super-soldier because of how powerful I am. We had to leave town for my parents’ safety because I couldn’t always be there to protect them.” Once again, nobody said anything. Thankfully, he seemed to have exhausted himself for the evening until he asked one of us to pay for his dinner. Nobody was surprised when he had a really insane reason for being broke.
18. Age Is Just A Number
I had a student who constantly lied through his teeth about everything. However, the oddest one was that he had been claiming that he was only ten years old throughout the whole year. I taught 7th grade, where the average age was 12-13, and this kid was in that range. Everyone knew he was lying about his age, and the other kids had called him out on it a few times, but he stuck to it. His mom, bless her, had absolutely no clue why he was lying about it.
19. His Story Was Pure Gold
When I was in Sydney, Australia, I once had an Uber driver who told me that he owned a gold mine in Africa. He told me that he was worth over a trillion dollars. I couldn’t believe my luck that I was in the presence of the wealthiest person who ever lived, and he was actually driving me to the Sydney Airport for $44 in an old Toyota Camry!
20. Her Lies Were Alive And Well
One of my little sister’s friends turned out to be a chronic liar. Most of her lies were bland and boring, like lying about the colors of things—but one lie was just messed up. She had told us that her mother was no longer living. We found out that she was indeed alive when we met her a few years later. This girl’s entire life was fiction, and we had no idea why she would tell us the things she did.
21. A Shark Tale
I had a friend in high school whose 30-year-old brother would tell us several ridiculous stories. He told us that the coast guard called him up and asked him to come out West to train some people flying helicopters. So, one day he was out on a rescue mission, and the guy at the end of the rope couldn’t grab the girl. Therefore, he had the trainee take the stick, and he dove out of the helicopter, about 60-70 feet.
He said he grabbed the girl, but by that time, the sharks were circling, and one of them came in for the attack, so he punched it in the nose. The shark apparently screamed so they all swam away scared. He said he grabbed the rope, carried the girl off into the sunset, she took her top off, and they got busy the rest of the weekend. We actually had to listen to this type of nonsense.
22. He Was Driven By Deceit
A guy I worked with said he couldn’t come to work because he needed to get his car fixed. He told us he had parked his vehicle downtown to hang out with his sister, and rats chewed through the electrical wires under it. Then, he went to get a new car, a used one, and he couldn’t come to work because that car broke down on the way, driving it home from the dealership. Then, he said his 4-year-old nephew had leukemia and had to get radiation treatments.
Weeks later, he said his nephew didn’t make it and the radiation was too much. He was all busted up about it at work and everything. Patients cried, staff members cried, and we all supported him. Then, his web of lies started falling apart. We found out that the story about his car wasn’t true. The woman he said was his sister was actually his ex-girlfriend and mother of his two sons. The 4-year-old nephew he talked about was actually his oldest son, who never had leukemia and was very much alive.
23. A Four-Wheeling Fabrication
I knew a girl in high school who made a huge deal about knowing this guy who passed from a four-wheeling accident and would always turn to me for emotional support. I finally met her mom, who told me she never knew anyone in that situation. She also pretended to have a brain tumor, sent me pictures of her “her tumor,” notes from “her doctor,” and would pretend she was losing her memory. I finally had friends tell me she was 100% lying, and she had a problem with lying about everything.
24. Her Life Was Legendary, And So Were Her Lies
I once dated a woman for two and a half months, and in that span, she told me several tall tales. She said that her dad was a quantum physicist, her mom was a surgeon and designed surgery equipment, and that her family was super-rich. She told me she spoke five languages; she had been an intern on the writing team for an episode of Brooklyn Nine-Nine, that she was dying of brain cancer, that she had polycystic ovary syndrome, and that she was a very talented cellist.
It didn’t stop there. She also told me that she lived and went to school in Switzerland, she could run 5K in 25 minutes, and that she had a brother who lost his life in a car accident with her in the car. I was naive and sadly believed every word. I eventually realized it was fake and confronted her. She denied everything. I actually called her brother, who confirmed that ALL OF IT was a lie, and I never talked to her again.
25. He Adopted A Crazy Tale About Himself
I met a guy at a job who was my subordinate. We spent a lot of time together as managers, and he was really funny, cute, and quirky. When COVID hit, and the place closed, we remained friends and eventually started seeing each other. On the first date, he told me about his life. He told me where he went to college, that he was adopted, what his real name was before the adoption, where he was adopted from, and that he was from a different state. It was all pretty standard stuff.
Then we kept hanging out, and at some point, he—I think pretended—to have a panic attack. I would get panic attacks all the time, so I asked him what I could do to help. This is when red flags started popping up. He came out with this really incredible story that I definitely didn’t believe. He said that when he was 17, he was recruited into some black-ops NSA program. He said that he had executed some people and been sent to other countries and whatnot. It was really bizarre.
I thought perhaps he was having a psychotic break and was concerned rather than thought he was blatantly lying to me. By then, I had met his parents, so I went to them alone one day and talked about their son with them. I asked if there was any medical history given with the adoption papers. They stared at me and said, “He isn’t adopted.”
So, I set out to confirm everything, and everything he told me about himself was a lie. He had lived in his hometown his entire life. He was not a college graduate. In fact, he hadn’t even finished high school. He was never in the Armed Forces and hadn’t been out of the country ever. He was the craziest person I had ever met, and obviously, I stopped seeing him.
26. Something Didn’t Add Up
Before class in high school, a guy beside me would write random stupid long equations on his whiteboard that he’d make up and meant nothing. Then he would pretend to solve them. Any time someone asked what he was doing, he would say that he was solving something like the gravity of Mercury. He was failing the class. He would even go so far as to grab multiple whiteboards to “continue” his equations. It was embarrassing to watch and made me physically cringe.
27. It Was All Smoke And Mirrors
A kid in my class at school had some absolute gems. We would call him out all the time, but he just couldn’t stop. He told us he broke his back in a bike accident, but there was nothing doctors could do for it, so they told him to just carry on as normal, and it eventually just healed on its own. Then, he told us he was selected to be part of the Team GB Cycling team at just 15 years old.
He also said that he had a 6-foot boa constrictor that ate his cat and tried to eat his little brother, but he managed to save him, as it had only eaten his legs. His brother was dumbfounded when we asked him about this. He also mentioned that he was in his dad’s car when the authorities started chasing them, but his dad did a huge drift around a roundabout and made a smokescreen, so the officers stopped chasing them.
28. He Left Me Scratching My Head
A guy I went to university with would tell some pretty wild stories. The best was how over one summer when he was a roadie for his friend’s band, they branded a dude with a pool cue. We were already on to his “stories,” and he always told them when other friends weren’t around. About a month later, I watched a Dropkick Murphy’s DVD, and lo and behold; a dude got branded with a pool cue.
29. His Story Was Full Of Manure
A guy told me that he had found an abandoned stable in his backyard that had living horses in it. I questioned him and asked how and what the horses ate, but he couldn’t give me an answer. The whole thing would already be stupid enough, but what made it even dumber was that we lived in the city only two blocks from each other.
30. He Resorted To Lying About Everything
I had this friend in high school. At the time, I knew no one in 9th grade and thought he was cool—a great musician, a good skater, and he was really, really funny. He always told the craziest stories that always wowed me. One night he was telling an incredible story to several of us about the hotel his grandpa owned in Costa Rica and the wild events that took place there.
One of my other friends, who knew this guy for a few years, said, “That didn’t happen.” My friend laughed nervously and admitted that it was a lie. I was confused. My other buddy then told me that this guy was compulsive and would lie all the time. Suddenly, a lot of stuff he had told me came flooding back. This guy told all kinds of insane stories about things that simply never happened; I just didn’t expect them to possibly be fake.
One morning in 10th grade, he was late to his zero-period class. He was asked by the teacher why. He said his grandfather had passed. He explained in detail how he was helping make funeral arrangements with his mother and how dire the situation was. Right after class, he admitted to a mutual friend he had lied about it, but throughout the day, he was telling everyone of his teachers about his grandpa, was full-blown crying, and breaking down by lunch.
He used to tell people his other grandpa flew in the German Air Force and was a pilot but escaped Germany and went to Costa Rica. He also added that his uncle owned half of Costa Rica, partied with wealthy elites and that he had met or seen dozens of celebrities. He went on about the countries and continents he had traveled to, restaurants and fancy places—you name it. He was pretty nuts.
31. Tales From Beyond
I knew a guy in high school who claimed that he was not quite possessed but had some kind of relationship with an “angel” named Lucy. This Lucy was his childhood best friend who had taken her life, went to the nether world, and was now trying to help all his current friends. He was not schizophrenic and didn’t have any kind of delusional disorder. There was a sinister motive behind his lies. He specifically used them to manipulate the friend group and prey on their religious beliefs and mental health issues.
32. He Was Out Of Tune With Reality
When I was 22, I dated a guy who claimed he was 21. He claimed that he went to university, got a double degree in music and education, had it fast-tracked because he was in the army and now worked as a part-time music teacher at a school. He wasn’t any of that. He was unemployed and much older than 21. But the weirdest thing he told me was that he had a tattoo and then just didn’t, as if I wouldn’t notice that.
33. It Was Time To Hang It Up
My roommate during my first year of college was a chronic liar, and I couldn’t understand why. He was a cool guy and really nice but would just tell the most blatant lies about basic stuff. One day, I was sitting on my bed doing work. He brought some friends to our room and began to tell them how he got this tapestry in Greece but being a dumb American tourist got ripped off by the street vendor. Meanwhile, he had bought it the previous week on our campus. It was bizarre.
34. His Stories Were Beseiged With Nonsense
In my home country, we had a people’s army that was a supplement to our force, but most of the time ended up directing traffic at large events and such. They were not exactly the most impressive group of people in the world. In fact, most people considered them as the men the service didn’t want, so they would get together and pretend to compensate for that.
I knew a guy who was part of this group, and he would talk at length about the many pieces of equipment they got to train with and the number of people who relied on him to keep the “troop” in line. At that point, it just felt like he was laying it on a little thick, but whatever. I started calling out his baloney when he talked about how women would lick their lips when he walked about in his uniform.
35. Pathological Perjurer
I was married to a pathological liar for almost 25 years. He loved to tell people that he was in the service, which he wasn’t. He told our upstairs neighbor that he stepped on a mine while in Afghanistan, and that was how he injured his legs. In reality, he had been hit by a car. One day, the neighbor was bringing down a gift for my granddaughter.
She told us all how she was using my husband’s success story to encourage her dad, who was recovering from hip surgery. My daughter and I looked at each other, completely confused. He also would tell the guy who owned a local store that his parents immigrated from France, and I didn’t get along with them because they refused to speak English in front of me. Well, my in-laws weren’t from France. They were both born and raised near the place we lived and had been lifelong members of the community.
36. She Worked It—Until She Got Fired
A woman I worked with had called in so many times with a different lie that other coworkers started making fun of her. Her grandmother had passed at least three times. She said she went on a field trip with her graduating class that she had no pictures of, that her mother was in a near-fatal car crash and was expected to go any minute. The list went on. She fooled no one and alienated everyone. She had the nerve to get hysterical when they finally fired her for her absences.
37. His Tales Were Full Of Endless Possibilities
A man that hired our construction company claimed that he had several cars, one of which was a Tesla that had come on the market only two months prior. He said that he had bought it directly from Elon Musk, so he knew it would be shipped and handled properly. Sadly, he also lied about his children both being chronically ill. When I met them and asked them how they were coping, they didn’t know what I was talking about.
38. Another Day At The Office
There were two guys at my previous job who would go to insane lengths to one-up each other. One was a dimmer version of Dwight Schrute; the other looked like Uncle Fester. Fester told us he used to be a DJ, owned lots of businesses, and used to have lots of exotic cars. He said he used to belong to an underground racing club. He went on to say that they raced in total darkness using night vision goggles.
On the other end, Dwight told us that he once got busy in the back of a car, during a snowstorm, with one of Madonna’s backup dancers. He said it was so raucous that the parked car did a one-eighty. I’d always respond with, “That’s almost unbelievable!” and they never caught on to the sarcasm.
39. She Told An Army Of Lies
One of the neighbors in my apartment complex was an attractive woman in her early twenties. One day, some of my friends and I were taking hits outside, and she came to join us. She had a brew in her hand, and as far I could tell, she seemed pretty down to earth. She eventually told us that she had enlisted in the Marines and wanted to be deployed, but she broke her back and was discharged for it. My first time meeting her, I believed it. Then I noticed something strange…
Every subsequent time I saw her, she was either doing weed or drinking. She tried to tell one of my neighbors and me that she was still in contact with the Marines and might get called out eventually. From there, every story she would tell us, always with a brew and a bong in hand, was about ways about how she was exceptional in some manner or another.
One day, when I was talking about one of my friends who happened to be epileptic, she immediately chimed in, saying that she was too. She claimed that she had been driving downhill when she seized out one time and that her friend had to reach over and grab the wheel to save both of them. She was so dumb. She didn’t know that it’s common knowledge that you can’t serve if you have a history of epilepsy.
40. My Mother-In-Law Was A Phony
My mother-in-law was a liar. She tried to convince me that she was immune to all sunburn and that solar radiation could not harm her when in reality, she was the palest woman I had seen and never went outside. I watched her argue with her son—who was an IT professional with several degrees in computer science—that she was programming in DOS in the 1960s.
She was never a programmer—she didn’t even know how to open a browser. Also, DOS was invented in 1980. She swore she palled around with the Vanderbilts when she was growing up and that she had multiple patents. Of course, her name wouldn’t be on any of them, and she couldn’t tell us what they were called or give us a category, time frame, or anything that would enable us to look them up.
She said she was an officer in the U.S. Coast Guard and deserved to be treated as a veteran. She was actually a club member of the Coast Guard Auxiliary, a civilian organization for boating enthusiasts. This woman was so full of garbage that you should look outside and check if she told you the sky was blue.
41. My Spidey Sense Knew Better
In elementary school, there was a kid who had some crazy story every week. He told us he invented the Game Boy link cable, and that he was the only person in the world to own a console called the Nintendo Dragon—a dragon-shaped console that used mind control and subliminal messages to keep him playing. He also said that he had a giant tarantula living in his empty pool that was as big as the pool itself. Apparently, he also owned every Batman toy ever made, even though we weren’t allowed to see them. I knew this kid all the way through high school, and he never changed.
42. Slanderous Sweet Sixteen
I used to be friends with a compulsive liar. He had moved to our school sophomore year and told everyone he was 16 years old and had a license. He was driving around and borrowing our cars. Meanwhile, I was at his house with some friends one day when his mom asked what his plans for his big sixteenth birthday were, which was coming up. The look on his face was priceless.
When his college girlfriend broke up with him, he told her that he had cancer, hoping she would stay. He kept the lie going for months until it got back to his family. When his girlfriend found out he was cheating on her, he lied about it, and she dumped him. So, he bought an engagement ring and acted like he was about to propose. She still left him.
43. He Had Lost Contact With Reality
I had a friend who was crazy. He said he went to a secret academy for bodyguards—which didn’t exist—that he graduated from this academy, and was now an undercover secret agent at the Parliament. He added that his phone was bugged and he paid $100 to have it fixed. He told our friends that he didn’t drive because people would try to blow him up, and he didn’t want to take the risk.
He told us that he had a sister, that she had become estranged from the family at 16, and went on to have a relationship with a mafioso. The girl supposedly wanted no contact with the parents or him. He said that his parents had hired a private detective to bring his sister home, and he was trying to find answers to why she fled long ago. After a few months, he told us that his sister had lost her life in a horrific car crash.
He seemed genuinely bummed out and grieving. We bought him drinks, consoled him, and then that was that—or so we thought. A few months later, he told us his sister might have staged the accident because she found out about the detective. That’s when he started slipping here and there and then got exposed. We all stopped talking to him.
44. His Story Didn’t Compute
A friend told me that he had hacked the FBI multiple times, and it was apparently easy. To be fair, the FBI had been hacked before, so there was a slight chance he was telling the truth, so I decided to test him. I gave him my Linux laptop and told him to SSH into our school’s server, which shouldn’t be much harder than hacking the FBI. He told me to get him a real computer, and he would do it. He proceeded to grab a MacBook. Do I need to continue?
45. Family Fiction
My younger cousin couldn’t help but lie with matters surrounding video games and other petty stuff. He would say that he had the best stats and gear in an online game when really he didn’t. He was a compulsive liar, but it didn’t do any harm. However, my brother was another story. He lied about illnesses all the time so that he wouldn’t have to work or do anything. He once went to the doctor to get a sick note and used something that I suffered from as his excuse to get the note.
46. He Pumped-Up His Papa
When I was in school, I would take the bus with this one kid who would always brag about his dad. He would say that he owned Nintendo and car companies and such and that he would get to play with all the latest games consoles months before they came out. He didn’t live with his dad and I don’t think he even saw him very often.
47. A Cinematic Work Of Fiction
A couple of years ago, I worked with a girl at a cinema who would straight up tell some of the weirdest lies I have ever come across. At first, she started small, lying about her ability to speak different languages, her activities outside of work, some of her traveling experiences, etc. No one really thought anything of it because, at the time, she was new at the job, and no one really had any reason to doubt her. Then things got out of hand.
Over the course of her employment, the lies slowly got more grandiose and outrageous. It was to the point where some of them just straight up didn’t make sense or line up with the times throughout the week she worked her shift. For example, she said she was flying from Melbourne to Singapore and then back to Melbourne for a work trip in 12 hours. She had finished work at around 11 PM and returned at 5 PM the following night.
She also told us that she had traveled to France and had the Eiffel Tower closed down for a private tour while on a date with a guy she had just met. She also mentioned that she had completed photography work with the Royal Family. That’s just to name a few. By the end of her employment, she couldn’t keep track of the stories she would tell and often had to backtrack when other employees would call her out on inconsistencies.
She eventually resigned, saying she had gotten a photography job at a large company in the United States and was leaving to go overseas. Two weeks later, I saw a truly heartbreaking sight: There she was, working at a retail store in the same shopping center that the cinema was located in. To this day, I don’t know why she felt the need to lie the way she did.
48. A Disorderly Deception
I had a friend in high school who was diagnosed with histrionic personality disorder. It’s very similar to narcissistic personality disorder, and some symptoms include lying for attention, most often about injuries. This girl would show up to school with crutches, bandaged arms, and legs—the works. About once a week, she would show up with some new injury.
I didn’t know how her parents allowed her to get away with it. She constantly sought attention by being extremely loud and boisterous. She was disruptive, argumentative, and a downright pathological liar. Some of her worst lies included that her mom beat her, that a 45-year-old happily married man living down the street seduced her, that she had depression, and that she was a hopeless addict.
But eventually, these insane lies came back to bite her. She was caught after a full-scale child welfare investigation was done on her home after a teacher overheard her saying that her mom threw her down the stairs that morning. Obviously, nothing came out of it. When the investigators also said they were going to go to the man’s house who she claimed had slept with her, she broke down and admitted that she had lied about all of it.
This girl very nearly destroyed a man’s life and reputation, and her own mother’s reputation, because she wanted attention. The addict thing was another lie and probably the one that annoyed me the most. This girl would bring water dyed with food coloring to school and pretended that it was booze she snuck out of her parent’s drink cabinet. She insisted that she “couldn’t get through the day without a taste.”
One of my other friends managed to snatch the bottle away from her and confirmed after tasting it that it was literally just water. In our first year at university, she received her diagnosis and then used it for bragging rights instead of actually working on fixing her issues. She was literally the worst person I had ever met. I cut off all ties with her as soon as I left high school.
49. Family Fakery
My sister was a compulsive liar, among many other things. Growing up, kids would stop by our house to see our new puppies—we didn’t have any. When my friend had a baby, my sister took photos and told people at school it was hers. She told people we don’t speak because she needed a kidney transplant, and I refused to offer her mine—she didn’t need one.
She also told my mom she had won the “Best Undercover Cop of the Year” award and got a trophy. She sent my mom a photo, which my mom posted on Facebook. It was the World Cup Trophy! The list goes on. But I’ll never look at her the same after her latest lie. She worked for a company and left after telling them that she had an incurable disease. She told them the doctors had ordered her to be on bed rest.
Then, she let fellow employees at another company throw a party for her because they FOUND a cure for this incurable disease.
50. Coppertone Coverup
I knew a guy who was born in rural England to white English parents. He had a fake tan and would tell people he was born in Puerto Rico. Meanwhile, his phony tan would get very patchy. He would explain it away by saying he had a terrible skin disorder—one so bad his own skin could stain his clothing. The white shirts he wore that were unbuttoned far too low did not help cover that up for him.