Inviting others into our homes is one of the kindest things we can do—yet some don’t seem to appreciate it. Whether it’s having our property damaged, our rules ignored, or our dignity utterly shattered in front of our loved ones, there is a certain extra level of sting one feels when disrespected under his or her own roof. From the annoying to the catastrophic, here are real-life stories about some of the rudest house guests ever to say yes to an invitation.
1. Baby You Can Drive My Car
A guy we didn't know very well, a friend of a friend, came over to our house for dinner one night. He got quite intoxicated. Despite us not knowing him very well, we offered to let him stay the night at our place instead of driving home under the influence. He refused, drove home, and crashed his car—but that’s not the most disturbing part.
Afterward, he tried to file a court case against us for letting him drive home in that condition. The guy was a total jerk.
2. Food For Thought
My son’s girlfriend was having family problems and temporarily lived with us. My son and his girlfriend were both about 17 at the time. She had no house manners whatsoever. She’d cook herself meals and leave food and dishes everywhere, expecting us to clean up after her. She’d leave her dirty clothes and stuff all over the house. She once borrowed my car without asking. Eventually, we got so tired of it that we asked her to leave.
3. Cleanup On Aisle Mom
Whenever my mom comes over, it’s a complete nightmare. She used to reorganize my kitchen cabinets whenever she would visit, because she disagreed with my organizational system. My mom does this with our entire household. She'll come over, remark that the house needs to be cleaned a bit, and she'll just start cleaning. It's such a degrading experience. And it's not like my house is disgusting.
Even if we've vacuumed the day before, she'll still remark that it's probably been a long time since we've done that and that we should get the hoover out right away. She doesn't listen when I ask her to stop, so we've simply stopped inviting her over as much in order to stay away from the stress. She is definitely my least favorite person to have over!
4. Making His Mark
This kid, who was a friend of mine at the time, came over for a birthday party. We were around 13 years old and he ate a strawberry, except for the top of it. He then SMUSHED the top of it into our white carpet and left it there. We were all watching at the time. He just did it like it was a completely normal act. My parents still call him Strawberry Boy.
5. The Most Dangerous Game
I don't remember who the guy was because it happened when I was a kid, but there was this guy over who was in his early 20s. He was in the kitchen with one of the kitchen knives and just started throwing it into the floor so it would get stuck, and then pulling it out and doing it again like it was some kind of amusing little game.
6. Couch Potato
We had one dinner guest who got so intoxicated that they pooped in their pants while sitting on my couch. They then proceeded to move around onto as many parts of the couch as they could, smearing the stains all over the place. We never noticed what he had done until he got up to leave.
7. Never Heard Of A Garbage Can
I lived in a house with two other people during university. This was a couple of years ago, and I didn't know them before I had moved in with them. One time, one of them invited two of her friends to come and stay with us. I went to go and use our shared bathroom, and what I found made my jaw drop. There were about three used sanitary pads casually left open and draped out over our sink.
This was all despite the fact that we had a perfectly good bin in the bathroom for them. I cleaned it up once. I then went back in the next morning, and there were more. I swear to you, I have never, ever been more disgusted in my entire life. I have no idea what this person’s problem was, but I made it very clear that I did not want them staying with us ever again.
8. Cooking Up A Storm
A friend of my dad’s lost his house, so we invited them to stay with us. We housed and fed them for weeks while they tried to find a new place. For that, we got roaches and criticisms of our food. By the way, my dad was the executive chef at a freakin’ country club and was a darned fine cook, so not sure what reason he had to complain. But that wasn't the worst of it for me.
I was then in my late teens. The day they left, I went to play my favorite game on PlayStation: Sled Storm. I couldn't find it. I overturned everything in the house, but I still couldn't find it. In searching, I noticed something even worse. My gaming system and all of my other games were also missing, in addition to Sled Storm. They had stayed with us as a favor and swiped half my stuff that I had paid for with birthday money that had been saved up over years.
Screw those people!
9. Good To The Last Drop
A house guest once consumed all the drinks in my house, without asking my permission. These were guests of my roommates, and I was already asleep at the time because I basically had 14-hour shifts for a job I hated at the time. It was a 10-hour shift, plus a two-hour commute each way, and I was still broke as can be—not to mention exhausted on a regular basis.
Those drinks were MINE, and those jerks drank it all like they owned the darn place. Never even offered to replace it, either.
10. A Story Of Substance
My sister’s friends went into the back of my apartment while I was throwing a party there, and as they went I saw them get some tin foil out. I live in a substance-heavy area and know exactly what that means, so I marched right after them and told them that that’s not happening under my roof or anywhere in the apartment block.
There are only four units in my building, and a family with kids lives downstairs. It would have been completely inappropriate and wrong. They said they understood, but left shortly after and acted all annoyed at me. It is insane to me that they thought I would just be okay with them doing that sort of thing indoors in my apartment. Without asking as well!
11. Bread And Clutter
While not necessarily rude per se, this really did bother me. And I’m not sure the internet is the right crowd who would understand my feelings. But I don’t like clutter. It stresses me out. This is a very big deal to me, and people who know me are aware of this quirk of mine. At the time, my household was just my husband, our toddler, and me.
I kept a very simple kitchen. But a family member came over and said they thought my cupboards were too bare. Without even discussing it with me, they proceeded to fill my cupboards to the rim with dollar store dishes, cups, plates, etc. that she went out and bought. I have never been so annoyed with someone in my entire life.
12. One Smelly Step For Man
I had a friend who had a horribly stinky case of athlete's foot from using the showers at his dorms without shower shoes. All of the skin on his soles and between his toes was gone. His feet were raw, red, and shiny with new, thin skin. I invited him over to watch movies. It was me and like five other guys. We watched horror movies, drank, and ate snacks.
At some point, he took his shoes off. That’s where my nightmare began. None of us said anything, but the smell permeated the entire five-room apartment, including the living room, kitchen, both bedrooms, bathroom, and laundry room. This happened within a matter of mere minutes. It was very quiet. We gave him some space and let him have that couch completely to himself.
No great loss, the thing was from the 70s and had that old scratchy fabric—an important point to remember. At around 2:00 in the morning, my girlfriend showed up and ordered my friend to put his shoes back on. The smell was still in the house two days later. I sniffed around after two days of airing out, Febreze, and candles.
It all did nothing. I smelled the couch cushions. He had rubbed his feet into the fabric of at least two cushions. I guess the scratchy fabric felt really awesome on his feet.
13. Making Themselves At Home
This happened recently, during the conditional period after we sold our house. One of the conditions was that the buyers could arrange two visits before the closing date. It was a young couple, and there was less than three weeks between the time we sold and the closing date. Anyways, they booked a viewing date about a week into the conditional period, and brought like 20 people with them to see the house.
Not really a big deal, they were excited and wanted to show their family their new house. I totally understood. There was just one problem. They felt the need to bring their dog with them, knowing full well that I had two cats. This fact was in the realtor's notes, and they had seen the cats on their previous viewings when they bought the house.
In fact, the young man told my realtor that our Tortie reminded him of his childhood cat. So there's no way they didn't know that we had at least one cat in the house, and they brought in a strange dog to what was still our home for two more weeks. If that wasn't bad enough already, they let the dog pee on the hardwood floor. In my house. That I still owned. For two more weeks.
The only reason we even knew about any of this is that we had a security camera set up that caught the whole thing. My husband immediately called our realtor, who confronted the buyer's realtor. Not only was the buyer's realtor present at this visit, but she was also the buyer's sister. She tried to deny everything until our realtor informed her that we had everything recorded, and he could send both her and the realtor board a copy of the footage.
She told our realtor to "please apologize to the owners (us)" and that was the last we heard. They never booked a second viewing. My husband and I were absolutely livid, and our realtor said in all the years he's been doing this, he's never had a buyer bring a pet to a viewing, let alone allow it to pee on the floor. Unbelievable.
14. Getting Into The Holiday Spirit
My brother's girlfriend had made a Christmas wreath for my home. When she arrived, she took the wreath I’d previously had on my door, threw it down the hallway, and put up the one that she had made—which was seriously ugly, by the way. My jaw dropped. I seriously could not believe she threw MY wreath down the hallway right in front of me!
The following day, I threw HER wreath in the garbage.
15. Beauty Sleep
I once had a friend over and she didn't want to sleep on the couch. Okay, fine. I'll set up one of the brand new fancy expensive cots for you and put blankets and a comforter on it so you're cozy. She complained all night long about how uncomfortable it was. Okay, well, you didn't want the couch, so tough luck. Then, out of nowhere: "Can I sleep in your bed with you?"
My little twin bed? No, absolutely not. "That's unfair!! I'm getting up there!" No. Stop, I told you no. She proceeded to ignore me, screw up my sheets, and climb in with me. But oppositely, so her freaking feet were in my face. She left early the next day. She also opened a new box of Wheat Thins and ate the ENTIRE BOX, and when I grabbed for some she would pull it away from me.
16. The Point Of No Return
I'm gonna tell you the story of the night I met Tyler. So my friend brings me to his friend's house, where people party and use lots of illicit substances. So the first thing I notice is this absolutely bonkers pretty girl, who I'm immediately interested in—but I am soon waved off by a friend, as that's the girlfriend of the owner of the house (not Tyler). We'll call her L. Tyler and everyone else seems cool enough, and we hang out for some time. Eventually, Tyler goes into the bathroom. Now, this is not a big house.
It's a two-bedroom duplex with one bathroom that leads out into the populated living room. So we all notice when he's in there for like...30 minutes. And runs the shower? Whatever, we go about the night. Eventually, he briskly opens the door and rushes out of the bathroom, then straight out the front door and leaves the party.
And I can't blame him for wanting to leave. Apparently, he'd gotten really intoxicated, "barred out" (taken lots of Xanax), and gotten sick. But while he was hunched over the toilet bowl puking, something went wrong. This is his account of the story, mind you. He said he lost control of his bowels. There was liquid four feet high on every single wall in this tiny bathroom, so smelly that it instantly rendered the house untenable, I'm not exaggerating.
He said he lost control while on his knees in front of the toilet, but without some kind of crazy cat stretch back arch, I don't see how he could possibly have gotten the liquid that high up on the walls without standing up. All over the floor. Everywhere. But it gets better. Tyler, having been unable to use the available toilet paper to wipe up such a mess on himself, decided to use the one available scrap of cloth left to wipe what he could off himself before leaving, and leaving a trail of tiny poop globs falling out of his pants leg as he went.
That scrap of cloth? L's bikini top. But wait, it gets better. At the time, the party was already pretty wound down and the owner of the house had long passed out. So L, who did not live here and was merely the girlfriend of the guy running the party, had to clean an entire poop-covered bathroom herself. She spent the whole night cleaning poop off the walls and floors, and washing her poop-covered bikini top.
Believe it or not, it took me another three years of hanging out with Tyler before I realized he was a jerk of a person.
17. Happy Trails
My grandfather's cousin was staying with us for a week. He has a serious bladder problem, but would refuse to wear adult diapers. What followed was him leaving a trail of pee, and sometimes even poop, wherever he walked around the house. It didn't take too long for my mother to ask his son to take him back home.
18. Taking Care Of Those Pearly Whites
I once let a dude from college crash on my couch while he was in town for a dance thing. The next thing I know, he took off with my spare toothpaste! I don't know why or how, but he swiped all the spares of toothpaste and deodorant that I had kept under the sink. Guess he really needed them. Either that, or he was running some sort of secret underground black market for toothpaste.
19. You’re Never Too Young To Be Awful
I remember when it was my 13th birthday. My sister had some friends come over, each being about eight years old. They found the birthday cake and ate the whole thing without even considering waiting for my family to actually celebrate with it. But that’s not the worst part. They also opened and swiped a few of my presents. They then went into my room, and the living room, and trashed them both.
And I'm fairly certain one rifled through my wallet and took a whole $120 in birthday cash before leaving without a word. They lived down the street. The least I can say is that my parents were fuming, and those kids were never coming over again.
20. Three’s A Crowd
I let a friend stay over with me a few years ago, and I was out of town for the first day that he was there. Turns out my roommate was having a "catch up" Valentine's Day with her boyfriend that night. They cooked a nice meal and were snuggled up on the couch together by candlelight. My guest just sat down next to them and chatted with them the whole night, oblivious to the fact that they wanted to be alone.
Then, he proceeded to sleep in my bed without asking, and later complained that I didn't have any bread or enough milk in the house.
We were selling our home about five years ago and a couple came through with a four-year-old child. They allowed their child to move items from room to room, take items out of our refrigerator, and track mud through the house. We thought we were losing our minds for days after when we kept finding things that were misplaced. We noticed at first because of a big teddy bear one of our daughters had from her bedroom upstairs.
We found it in the middle of our den downstairs. It looked like a mini cyclone had gone through the house when they were done. Who brings a four-year-old to a house viewing and lets them act like that?
22. Baby Face
This one guest took over my living room for an entire weekend, setting up camp on my couch. She faked pre-term labor pains. Well, later, I learned the disturbing truth. She was faking an entire pregnancy. She monopolized the TV, kept my wife awake all night, and put my whole family through a nightmare for 40 snowbound hours. And that was just the beginning of two months of disasters that she put my wife through even after she was out of the house.
23. Bathroom Break
We were hosting a party to celebrate a milestone for our child. In-laws came from several hours away. In the course of the day, they: A) demonstrated rolling cigarettes to our preschooler, B) smoked in our yard after being asked not to, C) brought a plate of leftovers to share with us (not rude, but strange), D) brought a huge bottle of vodka for just them, then proceeded to drink it steadily.
Then they E) brought gifts for kids (not rude), then complained when kids played with said gifts ("It's brand new and they're getting it dirty!"), F) This one is the kicker. My mother-in-law claimed she was getting a "bug" and then took up the only bathroom in the house for nearly the entire party. Other guests left because they needed the bathroom.
Both my kids had accidents at their own party because grandma wouldn't leave the bathroom. In her brief stints outside the bathroom, she was a mess, both physically and psychologically. We found a stained towel in our shower. My sister-in-law ended up bleaching the entire bathroom. Her hotel was less than five miles away.
She then had a tantrum about people being rude to her, tried to take a Percocet, dropped it on the floor, and then had a panic attack when we couldn't find it to make sure the kids didn't get it. We're done.
24. Tree Hugger
In my family, the Christmas tree is a celebration of our history together. The ornaments were all handed down from previous generations, gifts from relatives, or things we created ourselves. So when you put them on the tree, you were hanging your ornaments.
I would put the ones my auntie or grandma gave me, my brother and sister would do the same, and we'd all divvy up the ones that we got from people who were no longer with us. We had ornaments that were legit antiques. When I started my own little family, I wanted to keep that tradition alive. We were all going to decorate the tree together as a family activity.
My late father-in-law's girlfriend (who came to visit) had other ideas. We went shopping and left her at the house, and when we were gone she decorated the tree by herself. We'd told her that we wanted to decorate it as a family. We got back, and she was so proud of the job she'd done and wanted us to tell her how pretty the tree looked.
She had no idea why we were mad at her. When we explained it, she got really, really defensive.
25. Dropping By To Say Hello
Ooo, how about an almost visitor? So my uncle didn't visit but did tell his dealer that he was staying with us. He then ripped off said dealer for a large sum of money. So, the substance dealer and his mates come to our place with bats and knives at the ready, and then knock on the door yelling my uncle's name.
I am unsure who was more surprised, eight-year-old me, or them when I opened the door. I was raised super polite so asked how I could help. They asked for my uncle. I said he wasn't here. They asked for my mum. So I asked if they wanted to step in and wait while I got mum, which was the usual protocol for guests in our home, and they had said they were friends of my uncle.
They declined and stayed outside. I left the door open to be polite and go get mum. Mum freaks out but talks with them, and they eventually leave with no fuss. Didn't even insist on coming inside. That was when my uncle got banned from ever visiting.
26. Getting The Job Done
A managerial job opened up at an office that was under my control. I began talking to a somewhat friend that I made during a training program five years prior, who had inherited his dad’s insurance office. He let me know that he had sold the office after three years and had been doing nothing but traveling for fun and doing small jobs.
We get to talking and I tell him about this job. He knew a lot about the industry and, after discussing the job and pay, he took the offer. “I can be there this Saturday”. That should have been a warning that I easily missed. “Sure. You can stay at my house for the night” reluctantly came out of my mouth. I told my girlfriend at the time (now wife) about 40 minutes before he gets to the house that he would be spending the night.
She gets angry at me, as she never really liked the guy after he clung onto us during a weekend that she came to visit during our training. Her woman’s intuition had gone off. She let me know that she sensed something was off with the guy. “If he stays, I go,” she said. I was under a lot of stress at the time, so I just said: “Fine, then leave”. Another mistake.
As soon as he gets out of the car, I noticed his hair was all over the place. He seemed skinnier and had grown a weird beard. He was scrawny and seemed dirty. He even had a few scabs on his legs. “Hey, what’s up man?” were his first words to me. He then went on to say: “Sorry I look like this. I stopped over at a buddy of mine’s house by Central Florida and we went night fishing and drinking.”
Okay, Redneck. Do your thing. I told him he could use the shower and take a nap before we headed out for lunch. After a two-hour nap, he gets up and we go to lunch. He’s a smart guy, but starts talking about government conspiracies and about how after his divorce, he had been reading up a lot on laws and the system. Somewhat ranting. Okay then...
I nod my head and steer him to discuss the job. We get home and I let him know that I have my sisters-in-law’s birthday dinner (a family-only type of affair) that night and that he’s more than welcome to go out on the town or whatever he wants—anything other than stay at my home that particular evening. I even offered him one of our cars to use.
I get home about midnight and he’s hanging around the living room, shirtless. And he had fully shaved his beard. “I fixed the noise coming from the garage door,” he says. Okay, thanks! We go to the kitchen area and I sit on a stool by the counter. We start talking and he proceeds to turn around as he faces the cabinets.
I’m looking at his back as his knees begin to arch and his shoulders begin to lean forward. He then starts slowly shaking in a weird way. Similar to the sway you’d see from one of those car-dealer tube men, but keeping his arms to his side. I ask him quizzically: “Hey, are you okay man?” He says: “Yeah, man. My back really hurts and I was just stretching it out”. If that was the case, that was the weirdest back stretch that I had ever seen in my entire life.
Seriously, what the heck was that? I felt like it was part of a horror movie. I say nothing about it. We talk some more and I say: “I’m off to bed, busy day tomorrow”. I go to my bedroom and, I still don’t know why, but I locked my bedroom door as I closed it behind me. His weird vibe made that decision make sense. I get up at about 9:00 AM on Sunday and I go downstairs.
On my way down, I see that his bedroom door is a little bit open and I decide to let him rest some more. It’s now about 11:30 and still no signs of him. You don’t get to sleep until 11:30 unless you are either a child or went out the night before. I call out his name and he soon springs out the door. I tell him that I’ve been up since 9.
“I got up at about 5:30 and went to bed at about that time”. Okay, I tell him to dress and that we would do lunch and then meet another manager to go over work details. We do what was planned and all is normal. He meets the other manager and we head home. I then tell him that I need to get my woman back, and that I would pay for a hotel that week until he found an apartment to rent.
I get him one night and I would figure out a weekly rental on Monday. He gets in his car and heads off to the hotel. Before heading out to meet my girlfriend, I think it would be a good idea to clean the room where he stayed and throw the sheets in the washer. As I open the bedroom door, I make a chilling discovery. I notice on the middle part of the bed a medium-sized syringe.
What the heck do I do? I grabbed a bunch of toilet paper and wrapped my hand. Threw it in a little trash can that was in the bathroom and decided to throw the entire can out. Grabbed the sheets and bathroom towels and threw them in the washer. Set it to wash right away. I then checked out the bathroom just in case.
Inside one of the cabinets was one of the big bathroom towels, placed in a way like there was something inside of it. I was too afraid to look, so I grabbed it by the top and placed it inside a garbage bag. Might have been a broken jar or something like that. Who the heck knows?!! I can’t possibly tell my girlfriend about this.
That’s like telling her that she’ll forever be right in all of her gut feelings and I’m sure as heck not gonna give her that power. I keep quiet. I, cause I’m an idiot, begin thinking that maybe he’s sick. That the syringe was there to treat some disease and how dare I confront him about this. Maybe he was afraid to tell me about his condition, cause maybe he wouldn’t get the job.
Or maybe, just maybe he’s doing freaking substances and I’m too much of a dweeb to say something about it. I decide to sleep on it and have the conversation in the morning. I even thought about him wrecking the hotel room, which was on my credit card. In the morning, I call the other manager and I tell him that I think something’s off with him.
I suggest she please keep an eye out and keep me posted. The guy doesn’t show up at 9:00. It’s 9:35 when I get a text back from him, after texting him to say how he’s making me look like garbage for hiring him. He calls me. “My allergies are really bad and I had a horrible night’s sleep”. I tell him to get his butt to work. He goes into the office and, at about 2:30, I get a text message from the other manager. I couldn’t believe what I was reading.
The guy is slouched forward on his desk. His neck hanging like he’s passed out. The manager wakes him up and he, once again, blames his extreme tiredness on his allergies. At about 4:15, he shows up at my office. He claims the bank has frozen his card. Asks if he could get a small advance on his first check. I go with him to the ATM and hand him $300 bucks. Turns out he had already been fired.
Don’t do bad substances, kids. I saw the before-and-after with a guy who I thought at the time had a lot going for him. Good family, intelligence, and money didn’t spare him from its powers. His life was completely ruined. And, in short, that was the rudest thing a guest did at my house.
27. Taking Initiative
When I graduated with my associate’s degree, my mom held a small party for me with family, which included inviting my in-laws. My sister-in-law came into my mom's kitchen, while the food and people were in the living room, and started rearranging the contents of mom's refrigerator without asking.
She didn't even ask to get something from the fridge in the first place, she just went looking for something and then decided she didn't like the way everything was placed in there. Who does that??
28. Power Nap
Back when I was 19, this visitor entered my room and asked to take photos of me and my things. Then, she proceeded to kick me out of my room for two hours while she took a nap on my bed. She was an 80-something-year-old woman from China who once taught my dad Mandarin, over 25 years ago, visiting London for the first time in many years.
You know that "old person smell" that elderly people have? Somehow, that stayed on my sheets and towel, which she used as a blanket, so I proceeded to wash them all thoroughly the next day.
29. Getting The Picture
My local hospital made an agreement with a photoshoot agency that new mothers and fathers could get a free photo if you book a home photoshoot with one of their pros. A few days later, a cameraman came to my house to get the set ready. Our conversation was casual, nothing too exciting. Typical photographer in his mid-50s “been doing this for 20 years” type stuff. After set-up, we strip the baby of his pajamas and start the photoshoot.
Typical naked baby with a cute hat style stuff. My newborn was being a little cranky, as he was still getting used to breastfeeding and was probably rather cold. It took a lot of energy to try to get him to cooperate. After a few photos, and our newborn not playing along, the cameraman was getting very impatient. He looks at me and says: “You have the fussiest baby I’ve ever seen. This isn’t going to work out. I have another shoot to do”.
He packed up his gear so fast and was gone before I could even process what was happening. I was shocked and slightly offended. I called the agency and they said they just sub-contract out the jobs, and that they were very deeply sorry but there was nothing they could do about it. I never got my free photo. The end.
30. Scratch That From The Record
I once threw an underground dinner party and sold tickets. This older couple who were friends of a friend we invited came. The lady wore super sharp stilettos that I didn’t notice until later. The group as a whole got tipsy from the drinks we served, and they started dancing in the adjacent living room area. That’s when things got freaky.
The guy started unbuttoning his shirt. The older lady began grinding against him. My poor pregnant wife had a horrified look on her face. I end the evening there. As I’m cleaning up, I realize that my hardwood floors now have multiple visible scratches and marks all over where they were dancing. The $1,000 or so that we made that night was definitely not worth it.
31. Room And Bored
My brother lived with me and my spouse for a few months. One morning, I’m out on the porch having a smoke and he comes out. I ask him how his night was, as he’d gotten home from wherever he was after I went to bed. And he says to me: “Oh, it was okay! I have to take Gertrude home now”. I made up that name because I can’t remember the real one.
Me: “Excuse me? You brought some random woman into my house in the middle of the night while we were asleep?” He then has the gall to say to me: “It’s my room!” I blew up. I said: “IT’S MY FREAKING HOUSE!” Ugh. This was the beginning of many more issues. Finally, I kicked him out a few months later. And he did all of this while not paying me rent or even trying to find a full-time job.
32. Singing In The Bathtub
So about four years ago, I invited a friend to move into my small little two-bedroom apartment, after finding out she was staying in a homeless shelter. This was my home which I shared with my two young boys and my teen sister. I offered to let her stay on my couch since we were tight on space. My intentions were to help her get on her feet.
So I come home after a weekend away at my parents’ house out of town. What I found made my blood run cold. There was my eviction notice on the door. So this girl, I guess, had substance and drinking issues that I had no clue about. She was walking around the apartment completely naked, and intoxicated beyond control. She had been knocking on people’s doors.
She had been calling the authorities since she was hallucinating, and talking to them about people being out to get her. When I walked inside my apartment, I found her sleeping in the bathtub. There was puke everywhere! Needles everywhere, too. The cherry on top was the other naked strangers that were sleeping in my bed. I would say getting me evicted is pretty darn rude!
33. A Man Of Many Talents
One of my very good friends from childhood is a terrible house guest when he comes in from out of town. Even though he is given the guest bedroom, with plenty of space, he always leaves his stuff all over the house. Just took his belt off once and left it on the kitchen counter for a full day. He refuses to eat a normal sit-down meal, but then gets up in the middle of the night to raid the fridge and pantry and take food back to the bed and leave crumbs everywhere.
He does not shut the bathroom door when urinating. He gets all sweaty all the time, but will not shower. And one time, he invited a strange woman to our house, with whom I am pretty sure he was intending to cheat on his wife, who was back in his hometown. Luckily, the strange woman never showed up, but I was going to flat out tell him, you're not cheating on your wife in my house. I am also married. Our wives know each other. What a weird situation to put somebody in.
I mean he's an old good friend of mine, but an awful house guest.
34. Now That’s An Entrance!
I was babysitting my neighbor’s daughter. My neighbor was supposed to pick up the girl hours ago, and didn’t answer any of my messages. I got the living room ready just in case she was gonna have to stay the night. It was close to midnight when he finally came to pick her up. The dad rang the bell and, when I answered the door, he was soooooo wasted.
He barged in and walked past me to go to the kitchen. Everything that was within his grasp and reach, he literally destroyed. He went to the fridge and drank juice straight from the carton. He then walked back to the living room where his daughter was and started spewing random stuff at her. But he didn’t stop there. Then, in mid-sentence, he vomited all over my couch and immediately passed out after.
35. Hitting The Books
When I was in university, one of my roommates asked if a high school friend of his from back home could come visit and stay in our apartment for a night or two. I agreed, but I was writing midterms and was stressed beyond belief, so I firmly requested that they not party at our place so that I could study and get to sleep uninterrupted.
I came home from the library at 11:00 in the evening, and they were both totally intoxicated. My roommate was passed out in his bedroom. There was rank-smelling puke all over the toilet seat, and his friend had brought a girl home from the campus bar and was currently hooking up with her in my bed. What the heck!
I kicked them both out of the apartment, and then ended up doing laundry at 11:30 PM because my sheets were sweaty and covered in their bodily fluids. I no longer speak with this roommate.
36. All Aboard
Not my house, but my car. I don't have many rules for passengers when I'm driving, but there are two I will never budge on. The first is to wear your seatbelt. The second is do not smoke in my car. I had just bought a car. It wasn't brand new, but I knew the previous (and only) owner and I knew he was a car guy who took meticulous care of his vehicles both inside and out.
He wouldn't even sell me the car before he had given the engine a proper service. Within a week of getting the car, a friend asked for a lift to the train station. I knew he smoked, so as we walked to the car I told him specifically to wait until we get to the station before he lights up. This would only be a 10-minute ride at most. But apparently, that was too much to ask.
I back out of the parking space, drive to the exit of the parking lot, and as I check my left-hand side for oncoming cars, I hear from my right the distinctive sound of a lighter sparking up. The dude could not even freaking wait until we were out of the freaking car park before he just had to have his darn smoke. I ask him what the heck he thinks he's doing and he just looks at me and says: "Relax, it's not like it's a new car". The jerk ended up walking to the train station.
37. Rudeness Is A Universal Language
A friend of a relative stayed with my parents for a week. The guy was Argentinian and in his late 50s. He was very old-fashioned, religious, etc. For example, he even told my parents that it was wrong that I was living with my boyfriend without being married. One day, he asked my mum if he could use her computer "to check his email".
He spent quite a bit of time on it. You guessed it, he was watching inappropriate adult content. But I guess he didn't remember the website he wanted, because he first Googled in Spanish "young ladies with dark hair going at it" and a few variations of that. My mum found all that in her internet history and called him out. He tried to blame my then-16-year-old brother, who had his own laptop, speaks mostly English (so would never have Googled in Spanish), and was away on a camping trip.
He was not welcomed back.
38. A Case That’s Black And White
My really close friend brought his now-ex-girlfriend over while me and a few other friends were hanging out. She was a super controlling person. About 30 minutes in, she decided that she is going to go into my super white bathroom and dye her hair black. Not only this, but if you’ve never dyed your hair before, you must rinse your hair to get excess dye out.
She ended up staining my white counters, bathtub, shower, floor, two decorative towels, my carpet outside the bathroom, and my toilet. I was so irate and I don’t think she understood that you do not do this in someone else’s house without asking them. Literally everyone that was over, including me, told her to get her now just-showered naked butt out of my house.
I was so done because she just stained soooooo many things, and it would not come out easy. It makes my blood boil thinking about it now.
39. Buttering Up
Six years ago, my wife invited a friend of hers to stay with us for a week because she was going through a rough time. We didn’t know what we were getting into. Turns out she stayed with us for three months until we finally managed to kick her out. She would eat all our food and never shop. Never paid rent. She lost her job and my wife helped her get a really well-paying government job, but she still wouldn't help pay for anything.
We were watching TV and a car commercial came on, and she said "Wow, I could buy that outright with my savings now". And my wife and I couldn't believe it. She would leave everything in a mess, leave butter on the bench, and stuff. And her boyfriend was even worse. He was an irreverent jerk-canoe. She was, by far, the worst house guest we've ever had.
40. Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?
Once upon a time, before my heart had completely blackened, I let a friend stay at my apartment because he had no place to go. As in, he would have otherwise been sleeping on the streets. You would think this jerk would be the most grateful person on the planet, and you'd be completely wrong. He hung around day and night, never went anywhere. He drank all my drinks and ate my food while I was at work.
Did I mention I'm married with a kid?! I was the one working, so he basically pestered my wife all day. Always had to be giving his input, always had something to say to her. Three full months go by, and this idiot has given me a grand total of $200 for my troubles. 90 days. Did I mention my rent is over $1,100 and one salary paid all the bills? Yeah.
So next in his bag of tricks, he starts arguing with my wife while I'm at work. Starts telling her what to do. Has the audacity to yell at her when we run out of stuff like shampoo, our own shampoo. I had enough. I told him to call his brother out of state and have him buy a plane ticket, because he doesn't have a place to stay. Get the heck out, jerk.
No good deed goes unpunished.
41. Having A Swimming Time
I had two people—who had just met each other for the first time—sleep together in my pool, and then get mad when we asked them to leave. I also had a girl trying to pick up people to pay her to sleep with them, and got mad when we made her leave. Oh, and one of my female former friends got really angry when we told her to stop physically grabbing the other female guests.
Something about my house brings out the worst in people.
42. So Much To Break, So Little Time
This is the most middle-school story I have. There was this girl who was trying to be my best friend's best friend, but Best Friend didn't realize what a jerk she was. So, when I invited Best Friend over, she asked if she could bring Usurper along, and I couldn't think of a polite way to say no. Usurper proceeds to trash my room, break an heirloom china dish, pull the head off my oldest stuffed animal "by accident", and talk smack about my glasses.
Somehow, Best Friend still didn't get what a malicious devil this girl was, though.
43. Room For One More?
One time, this eight-year-old girl just kind of walked into our house while we were eating. The door was unlocked because we were barbecuing and I guess she thought the food looked good? We all just stopped eating and stared at her for a moment. My dad asked what she was doing and she said something along the lines of "I dunno", then turned around and left. Who just walks into someone else's house?
44. Battle Of The Bands
A few friends and I were having some drinks last summer when a guy we know showed up at my house uninvited with a friend of his who was so intoxicated that he immediately passed out on my couch. This now-sleeping dude had driven them both to my house. The guy continues to get plastered, complain about the music we were listening to, and try to put his own terrible punk band’s music on. But then he got so much more annoying.
He cornered my wife and demanded she change her shirt because he has beef with the singer in the band on her shirt. He refused to sit on anything other than a broken chair that we had to put in another room when he went to the bathroom, then complained when it was 6:00 AM and we said were going to bed. He woke his passed-out friend up and said, "I guess we're getting kicked out". Then, they both left in the intoxicated dude’s car.
45. Fun And Games
My boyfriend invited a couple of dudes over while I was at work because we only have a one-bedroom apartment and I don't always enjoy sitting there watching them play games. It was considerate. Anyways, he was asleep and they were gone when I got home since I work third shift. I noticed my new bathroom mat was discolored and assumed it was from shoes and didn't closely observe.
Anyways, I made him look at it with me when he got up because I was a bit mad since it was brand new. Upon further observation, we came to the conclusion that, before leaving, his friend wiped poop all over my new bathroom mat. It turned out to be brown finger streaks across the whole thing! Threw that out immediately. The toilet paper was readily available, by the way.
They are not allowed in the apartment anymore, and it was weird because they weren't on bad terms after that. They actually wanted to hang out again.
46. Special Menu
One guest of mine Insisted on making dinner. Promptly burned the steaks. Then insisted on making hamburgers. I told him I didn't like onions. Made the hamburgers with chunks of onions. I tried to eat one, but chunks of raw onions is not something I want to eat. He then made beans in a crockpot, but didn't refrigerate them overnight. Just left them out in the crockpot.
He plugged it in the next morning and let them cook all day the second day. Claimed if there was any bacteria in there, cooking it got rid of it all. Repeated for a week. Spouse and I ate the beans the first night and refused any leftovers. We had record heat for days on end, so we ran the air conditioning. He would not quite ever shut the door to outside, leaving a small crack letting the cool air out and his smoking in.
Every time I passed by, I'd shut the door till it latched. Worse, we had indoor-only cats and they would occasionally escape because he could not understand that the door needed to be fully shut. He left open potato chip bags in the pantry. It wasn't any one thing that made him the worst guest, although food poisoning and endangering the cats were pretty close. It was the conglomeration of a lot of little things that gave him that title for me.
47. You Had One Job!
This person was house-sitting for me and my family while we were out of town. We let them stay at our house and sleep in my parents' room. When we returned home, our house was a disaster. The kitchen was filthy, and their daughter's toys were scattered all over the house. One of the few tasks we assigned them was to water our plants.
None of the plants were alive when we came home. Worst of all, they were told not to come into my room, where I have a valuable collection of old toys. Of course, they let their daughter into my room and play with them. Some very rare and expensive stuff was damaged. That was the last time we let them watch the house. The next time we went out of town, a good friend of mine was given the job instead. She did a much better job.
48. In This Corner
My mother-in-law likes to volunteer to show new guests around the house during big events like birthday parties or Christmas. And, without fail, she will always find the worst part of my home to show to strangers, usually whatever room has a closed door that’s out of the way, or whatever spot I least want them to see. She will then make them stand in there and have a conversation.
You know, the bedroom that’s a mess because you threw everything in it to prevent the guests from seeing it all. The back room of the basement past the laundry room used solely for disorganized storage. It only took eight years for my husband to catch on to the fact that, yeah, it happens every single time. It’s not even the worst thing that she’s done to us, but it is definitely the most head-scratchingly petty.
49. Gift Wrapped
A friend came to visit for a few days with her newborn infant—but she brought a gruesome surprise along with her. She inexplicably brought her placenta along with her. The placenta was wrapped in butcher paper, but nothing waterproof and was half thawed from the long car drive. She put it in my freezer, where it oozed all over my food throughout the time that she was over.
50. Potty Training
I once had a guest pee in my cat's litter box at a party we had. He turned the whole box into one big solid chunk. It was a friend of mine actually. He was really intoxicated, but I'm sure he did it on purpose. I didn't notice either until our cats started to poop and pee elsewhere in the house. Needless to say, this fellow and I are not friends anymore.
Sources: Reddit, ,