How I Realized They Were Cheating

April 10, 2023 | Violet Newbury

How I Realized They Were Cheating

Sniffing out a cheat isn’t always easy.  Sometimes, however, there are some tell-tale signs that one’s partner is looking for love in all the wrong places. These Redditors share the moments they realized their partners were cheating on them. Some are funny, some are shocking, and, unfortunately, some are all too familiar.

1. A Dream Come True

I talk in my sleep, and one day, three months before we were to get married, I had a nightmare about my ex cheating on me with a guy I worked with.  I actually woke both of us up, mumbling some stuff about it. When I told her what my dream was, she got cagey.

So, I checked our cellphone bill—and my stomach dropped. I found out that she had been texting that very same guy non-stop for weeks. I confronted her, and she admitted to cheating on me with him. A dream set me free.

What's also funny is that I don't recall having any kind of trust issues with the two of them when we hung out, but something inside me apparently did.

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2. You Can Run, But You Can’t Hide

When you're an avid runner and they have zero interest in running, but you wake up one day at 1 AM and they are gone. So, you go outside and find them barefoot in jeans and they tell you they decided to take up running—barefoot—at 1 AM.

Then, when a girl in a green Mitsubishi Eclipse who was parked next to us, fires up the engine and speeds off while making aggressive eye contact with you, that’s when you know.

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3. All Dolled Up

I had suspicions that my ex was cheating on me for months. One night, she half-heartedly invited me out to go drinking with her "girlfriends". I declined as I wanted her to have her own friends outside of our relationship. She was all happy and humming, something she never did before.

She took a shower, and then I saw her getting all dolled up, which I hadn’t seen in years. But that wasn't the most unsettling part. She was also wearing her most seductive lingerie, the stuff she wore to signal she was in the mood.

I simply said, "Why are you wearing that?" And she said, "It's just what I grabbed". So I said, "You know what? Give me a few minutes to get ready. I think I will go out with you tonight". She had a complete meltdown.

She started accusing me of accusing her of cheating, not trusting her, and hurting her feelings. Of course, I was a fool and let her play me. I ended up apologizing, but I knew. Things went down after that, and she eventually left me. Yeah, she was cheating; I've no doubt about it.

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4. A Visit Home But Not Alone

My SO made all these excuses about how I couldn't go with him when he flew to Connecticut to visit his mother. Then, he'd call me at 5 AM Pacific Time and tell me he and his mother were going to spend the day together, so I shouldn't call. This happened more than once.

Then, there was a client emergency, and I tried to call his cell, but there was no answer. So, I had to call his mother's house line, and she said that my SO was "at the gym". I told her, ”No, he went to the gym first thing in the morning and called me from there”. Then it dawned on me.

He went to see "Kay," who had sent me an email years before that said, "Most women would find me a threat". I told "Kay" that if she wasn't doing anything wrong, then she wouldn't be a threat. I told my SO's mom that he was with "Kay" and not answering his phone, and I needed her help.

His mom called him and told him about the client’s emergency. My SO called the client, then called me and said never to call his mother again because she now thought he was having an affair. Two months later, his dad passed.  My SO told his clients but not me until a half hour before his flight.

He had apparently told his family that we were separated. We weren't separated, and I was going through IVF treatment. There were so many red flags along the way. The absolute giveaway was that my gut knew there was something wrong; I should not have ignored it.

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5. Time To Face The Music

I was almost four years into my relationship. I was getting ready to defend my thesis for my master's, and my girlfriend was applying to PhD programs. I was willing to move with her wherever she went and even had my mom help me find a nice white gold ring with a sapphire as an engagement ring. Then, her roommates asked to meet with me privately.

They told me she was having someone over in their room with the music on loud. It was the same thing she would do when we would get busy at her place.

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6. Beggars Can Be Losers

My boyfriend went to a work party once and didn’t text me back after staying out for hours after he was supposed to be back. He called, begging my forgiveness, saying he had just lost his phone, etc. He offered to cook me a late dinner, anything to make me feel better. I was just like, “Dude, I’m glad you had fun, don’t worry about it”.

I honestly felt bad about ruining his fun. The next day I saw a picture of him—and his guilt suddenly made sense. He had his phone in hand and his arm wrapped around his hot coworker at the party. I looked at his phone, and he had texted his mom all night about the special girl he had met.

Sucking up immediately turned into “Why can’t I have privacy?"

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7. It Was Not Just A One-Off

In my case, she had already cheated once before with an ex, so I was super alert to suspicious activity. My alarm bells went off when she told me she was ashamed of all the pre-marital nookie she'd had and wanted to stop doing it until marriage, which was strange because she wasn't religious.

It was extra weird when a few days later, she decided she wanted to make a "one-off exception" and sleep with me. Then a couple of weeks after that, I was supposed to hang out with her, and at the last minute, she made some lame excuse about why we couldn't.  Then, I didn't hear from her all day.

This is what set it firmly in my mind. The next time I saw her, I checked her phone and sure enough, she had ignored me that day to see her ex. I was an idiot in love and I was very, very young at the time, so I ignored the warning signs. Plus she was so, so darn hot.

It has been over a decade since then, and from her own admissions to me from the few times we've spoken, she's still a cheater and is currently separating from the father of her kids.

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8. Google Got Him

I busted someone for cheating once because of a reason I still can't wrap my head around. A few videos he'd taken randomly appeared with my Google storage stuff. The only clue I have as to how it happened is that he'd given me his phone when he got a new one.

Somehow those videos, and only those videos, slipped through the cracks and were backed up to my Google account when I logged in. One day, I discovered three videos he'd taken two years prior while I was on a trip.

It was him, two male friends, and a bunch of chicks partying in our house, and his intentions with two of the girls for the night were quite clear. The words that were coming from his mouth are words I'll never forget; it was absolutely heartbreaking to watch. The worst part?

I considered one of those girls to be my friend.

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9. He Was Cutting Me Out Of The Picture

I'll never have “solid” proof that I was cheated on, but my instincts were screaming it when we were no longer getting busy together. Then, he wanted to sleep on the couch every single night. Then, he started changing his passwords, and my paranoia started creeping in.

Our first fight happened at that point. Next came him purposefully keeping me out of photos that he would share on his social media accounts, just in case people thought we were dating, which we were. That was when I caught him talking to someone through the PS4 and online; she thought he was single.

Fight two happened then, and I was in denial because he was gaslighting me so much. It escalated to him wanting to be gone every weekend “to a buddy's house” and I was never allowed to come along. Eventually, I found makeup in my car after one of those “buddy weekends”.

I usually don't wear makeup unless it's a special occasion and when I do wear it, it's only around my eyes, so I knew this didn't belong to me as it was lip gloss. We had our final argument and didn't stay together after that.

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10. He Freaked Over Some Fries

I finally got off of work early for once after working doubles. Instead of texting my boyfriend that I was on my way home, I stopped to get his favorite McDonald’s meal and iced coffee with my last $10 until payday. It was going to be a sweet “surprise I’m home, I love you” gesture.

Instead, I was greeted in the hallway by him coming towards me with a shocked and angry look on his face. He said, “You were trying to catch me doing something," as I was standing there holding the food and drink in my hands. We had been together for six years before I had the guts to leave.

It was only a couple of weeks after that happened that I finally did.

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11. The Proof Was In The Panty

It was a couple of months after my grandpa had passed, and I hadn't slept with my partner at all in that time. Grief messes up so many things in the body, so in my grief-ridden stupor, I trusted her when she said she was going for a drive with a friend to cut loose a bit.

I was okay with it because I wanted her to have a good time and not be stuck in the house with depressed me. She came home in a good mood, and I didn't think anything of it until she went to wash just her underwear. I checked her phone that night after she fell asleep, and apparently, she had been talking to this guy for about a month.

They had done the deed, and she wanted to make me out to be the bad guy when I confronted her about it with the evidence from her phone. She said that I "pushed her to it by not [sleeping] with her". I booted her out in a hurry, and I don't really remember much, except she was the one yelling and screaming.

I was pretty much numb, and I don't think I really processed it until almost two weeks later.

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12. No Longer In Control

I had filed for divorce from my ex-husband, and I began to date another guy. I was very naïve about dating since I hadn't dated anyone in 20 years. This guy showered me with roses, dinners, and jewelry, and he liked to drink. I didn't understand anything about binge drinking. As time went on, I started to see that it was going to be a problem.

When he drank, he became a different person, and one day he came home with a new cellphone for me, and he helped me set everything up. I didn't know at the time, but he bought it so he could keep tabs on me.

One day, I was in the shower getting ready for work, and he came to my house and stormed into the bathroom. He ripped the shower curtain back while I was bathing and started yelling at me about not answering the cell phone. Then, he started accusing me of cheating with my male coworkers.

He terrorized me one night when he was trashed and out of his mind. That was it. I did a midnight move, and I was gone. I found out that he started cheating on me when he felt he couldn't control me anymore. I should have known better.

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13.  Shattered Dreams

When you're driving by a mutual acquaintance’s house, see her car, go to the front door, and see her and the mutual acquaintance half-clothed, making out on the couch through the front window, you know.

Then, you knock on the door, and without looking to see who it was, the acquaintance flips you off and waves you away. You, out of anger, punch and break the acquaintance's front window. Since the acquaintance doesn't know who it is, he grabs a bat and runs out the door, but you are already in your car driving away.

You drive a very recognizable car, so he knows it’s you and calls the authorities. You get lucky and the female officer feels very bad for you and lets you off with a warning because you offer to pay for the window. It turns out it's a 110-year-old house and the window is $700. So now you’re out $700 and a girlfriend of four years.

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14. We Were All Washed Up

Every girl has that one outfit they wear when they want to be noticed. Well, one day, when I'd been invited to my girlfriend’s flat, she had a little try-on session with me and some of her favorite dresses. There was this one silk, short, black and white striped number that fitted her like a dream.

She was 6'1” and objectively stunning, with the most beautiful dark hair and dark eyes, the cutest button nose, and the most amazing 40" legs. This dress showed off about 38" of them. It had a low and loose cowl neck, and she didn’t have much of a chest, so every time she bent over, it would all be on full display.

It definitely gave off the "look at me, I want some action" vibe. We had our little try-on session with three or four outfits, put the clothes away, and continued about our lawful business. A week or two later, I was back over at her place, and that dress was in the laundry basket.

I asked, "Hey, have you been out in town? I see your dress in the dirty clothes". She replied, "Nah, I just got it out of my drawer. It smells like I've worn it, and there was a stain on it, so I thought I'd give it a wash". I'm not sure what sort of drawers she had, but my clothes don't get smelly and stained just sitting in mine.

The second incident, which actually happened first, was probably the more incriminating of the two. She said she was going out for dinner after work with a female coworker, Sammy. I said, "Fine, have a lovely time sweetness, let me know when you've gotten home safe!"

I was on my way to the gym that night. I'd had a bad day, so I decided to go and clear my head. The drive took me more or less right past her flat. It was around 10:30 PM, and I drove past her on the corner. I turned around and got a nasty surprise. She wasn’t with Sammy, but Ollie, a male, from the jewelry store next to her shop.

They were standing a little too close together, and they hadn't moved. It was dark, so I couldn't see if they were holding hands or anything, but they were in that sort of proximity. I stopped, poked my head out the window, and said, "Hello, I'm Emily's boyfriend". Her eyes went as wide as saucers.

She did that grin you do when you've been busted, said a swift goodbye to him, and hopped in my car. I was in shock. I made her sit in the back "because I had my gym bag on the front seat”. I drove her the 30-second trip back to her flat and was having an anxiety attack.

She was in a flood of tears with the old, "I know how this looks" routine. She proceeded to explain to me that she had her burger with Sammy, who then had a bus to catch. As she was leaving, she saw Ollie, who offered to walk her home. I was shaken, but it was plausible enough.

The thing is, I looked at Sammy's story on Instagram, and wouldn't you know it, she had posted a picture of herself in the bath at around 7:30–8:00 PM, right when they were meant to be eating. I was, of course, the bad guy, for not believing her, and for looking up Sammy's story.

After that, she shared her location with me, without my asking, so I gave her mine too. However, it was weird when she took it away from me a couple of months later, without saying anything, though. Lots of things Emily did never quite make sense.

They were all innocuous enough on their own but added together, they really painted a very dark picture. It all broke down at the end of August. She's the one who left me, out of the blue, citing problems, external to us, that we'd already agreed to work on.

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15. Hey Jealousy

I’d say projection and jealousy are HUGE ones. My first girlfriend was constantly asking or accusing me of talking to other girls, saying, “I bet you cheat”. In public, if there was a girl in my line of view, she would accuse me of checking them out.

Once it was a 50-year-old woman and we were 15–16. She’d randomly get her phone “taken” at night, but her parents were cool and she was a “goody-goody”. One night, after a few weeks of her being distant and cold, I knew it in my gut.

We never went through each other's phones or snooped except for this one first and last time. She shared her streaming service password with me. After a “goodnight” at 7 PM on a Friday, a few hours later, I caved and tried the password on her Snapchat.

Lo and behold, four different dudes were actively texting, flirting, and sending racy photos, and asking, “When can I see you again," etc. I screenshot all of them and sent them to her saying we were done. Then, she instantly started calling me, which I ignored, let her rack up a few, and blocked her. It was three years down the drain.

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16.  Dude Is In My Car?!

When I caught my ex-wife, she had added a passcode to her phone after never having one. I asked her about it and she said it was so the kids wouldn’t go on it. I said, “[That is] understandable, what’s the passcode in case you forget?" and she wouldn’t give it to me. Then, she started sleeping with the phone next to her on the bed.

The random midnight shifts when she never worked overnights were eyebrow-raising. When I caught her with another dude in my car, I figured it was time to roll.

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17. The Hook-Up Queen

I knew because her best friend's boyfriend at the time told me in private about how my girlfriend was bragging about cheating in front of them, and he didn't think I deserved it. I packed my stuff up and waited for her to come home to confront her about it. When I did, she broke down and begged me to stay. I was stupid and did.

About a month after that, her phone kept going off in the middle of the night. It was one of the dudes she had cheated with, trying to hook up with her again. I told him to get off her phone. I should have just left at that point because I was never going to trust her again, but I was too naive, and the booty was still great.

However, sometime after that, she started talking with a co-worker a lot and swore it was nothing. I mostly believed it because this dude didn't seem like her type at all.  But eventually, she started pulling away, and we were no longer getting down and dirty together.

Her phone was dinging in the middle of the night again after she had gone to a concert with this guy and came home late. His messages were to the effect of "I can't get enough of the smell of you on my bed sheets". I woke her up right then and there and confronted her.

This time she just got mad that I was going through her phone, but my instinct was obviously correct. I went and stayed with friends the next day and had my stuff moved out within a month. I had to get a restraining order against her because she was starting to go off the deep end and making up wild accusations that could have ruined my life.

Never again.

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18. Two-Timing On His Tablet

My ex-boyfriend spent hours on Facebook, grinning like an idiot. When I asked him about it because it felt off, he stopped for a few days, got a tablet, and went to bed about two hours earlier than usual. This went on for weeks. He also got mad when I “woke him up” by coming in unannounced.

So, one evening I came in unannounced again while he was also on his way out. When he realized that his tablet was unlocked, face up, he jumped on the bed and on it to cover and lock it.

When I asked him what that was all about, he said, “He didn't want to talk about it," and later told me he was looking for a birthday present for a friend. He was not a good liar and not a good person.

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19. Flight Of Fancy

When he returned from a "business trip," his checked bag was missing. I was picking him up from the airport like usual, and he didn’t want me to go with him to file a baggage claim. Something seemed dicey, so I checked his flight number...I couldn't believe my eyes.

He wasn't coming from Seattle, as he stated but from Massachusetts. I went into his backpack and found a stub for a whale-watching trip that confirmed it. Then, I found a second cell phone. Spider sense is always reliable.

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20.  Freaked Out Over His Phone

I didn’t need to know his phone or password, but I picked up my ex's phone from the bed to move it to the nightstand while we were watching a movie. It ended up falling down the side of the bed, and he absolutely flipped out and snatched it, and demanded to know why I was looking at his phone.

He tried to backtrack very quickly when he realized I hadn't been looking at all, but I knew.


21. MySpace Spilled The Beans

My ex would sleep with her phone underneath her pillow. I had an idea of what was happening and would keep an eye on this guy’s MySpace account. Then, he posted one of those questionnaire things that were popular at the time. One of the questions was, "Who did you last kiss?"

His answer was my ex. MySpace Tom had my back.

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22. Tweet This Sweetheart

My ex and I texted every day for six years, but then everything changed. Eventually, she stopped engaging in the conversations or would take hours to reply. When I'd get home, she would be glued to her phone, jumping at every notification.

When I asked her about it, it was always, "Oh, something funny on Twitter," but she never wanted to show me or tell me because "I wouldn't get it".

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23. A Little Too Much Information

This is what first tipped me off that my ex might be cheating—she made a new "girlfriend" at work. I'm pretty certain it was actually a female, but I never met them, so I really didn’t know.

Every day it was "she said the funniest thing" or "she did this cool thing," and she went on and on and on. However, the part that really made my brain go, "Okay...there's something going on here," was when we were talking about something completely unrelated.

She told me, "Yeah, my friend has herpes". I was like, "Okay…”  I thought, “You've had this new friend for less than two months, and they just offered up that information? What's more, you decided to share it with me because why?"

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24. Something Smelled Off

The weird one for me was when she changed her birth control. I heard that it could change things but when she did after six years, she just changed into a whole other person. She couldn't be around me, hid her phone, went out late, and refused to let me pick her up even though she had been drinking.

Apparently, when she changed birth control, she couldn't even stand the scent of me anymore. It’s weird that a scent can supersede six years of working toward a better life.

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25. Cross-Border Double Crosser

My girlfriend has a US phone and a Canadian phone. I have no reason and have not heard a good reason why she keeps the US phone, as she's lived in Canada for years. She also admitted to dating a married man for eight years.

She claims she didn't know about it until the last month, despite the head games, long-distance nature, and avoidance of ever going to his city, meeting his kids, etc. There are a couple of other red flags, but a cheater is a cheater, regardless of whether they are the one wrecking the home or not. I think I'm being played.

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26. Just Tagging Along

My ex was never big into Instagram and mostly posted photos of his pets, but I posted frequently and tagged him in photos of the two of us. When you visit someone’s profile, you can view the photos other people have tagged them in.

One day, I looked at his tagged photos and my stomach dropped. Every photo with me in it was hidden from his profile. However, all of the photos his friends had tagged him in were visible.

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27. All Fingers Pointed To Her

While we were having a small argument before my ex was my ex, she made a comment and said, "Just wait until I find out you're talking to some other girl". Things had been slowly going downhill for about six months. I'd never given her any reason to think I was talking to another girl.

I had never cheated, never talked to girls, and had told her since day one that she was the most beautiful woman in my eyes, etc. She then made another accusation a month or so later, threatening to go through my phone. I told her no, she was not, and she responded by saying she'll look through my phone any time she wanted to.

I told her, "No, you're not. I have nothing to hide, and if you want to look through my phone, you can ask, and I'll sit down right next to you, and we can go through it together. But you will NOT just grab my stuff and invade my property and privacy without permission. Also, there is no reason for you to be accusing me of this and it really feels like you're projecting things on me right now".

Within a couple of months, she broke up with me and used the line, "We’re taking a break for a few months, and then we'll talk and see where things are, and we can date other people since I'm sure you want to". I told her I knew exactly what she was doing and that I'm not agreeing to be someone's backup plan. She scoffed.

Not even a month later, she told me she was dating someone else. It was no big surprise that she was talking to him since the beginning of her accusations.

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28. Cleaning House

For me, it was when I came home and found that the house was clean and the bed was made. He had never cleaned or made a bed in his life. It was confirmed when my gut said to check his online history and emails. He had paid a woman to come to the house to sleep with him.

We were engaged and his reason was, “I wanted to see if I really loved you”.  I sold the ring and moved out ASAP.

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29. It Was Over In A Snap

My ex who cheated had a super high Snapchat score, and when she opened her Snapchat, it had 20 unopened Snaps every time. She had also started a new job and began talking about her new co-worker non-stop, who she asked to pick her up at 2 AM after a night out drinking.

Then, when I snooped on her phone, she referred to me as a “friend”. When questioned, she tried to gaslight me. Also, if your girl is not posting you publicly on Instagram or socials, chances are they want to look single and are open to other guys sliding into their messages.

When they tell you they need to go back home for the weekend to help their grandma clean her house and they don’t text you for three days, and come back sick, taking a bunch of antibiotics, you know.

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30. Love Lost

The love was gone. To compensate for her guilt, she became accusatory of me and was intolerant of our kids, who were one and three. She thought she "deserved" to cheat and had a right to. When she finally came clean, she told me it was like a weight that had been lifted from her. She could stop lying, but of course, she didn't.

We talked about working it out, but things went from bad to worse quickly. The house sold and we were apart within months. Within a year, the most wonderful man on earth began to physically harm her. I focused on the kids and never looked back.

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31. Treading On Thin Ice

My dad’s second wife—not my mother—was having an affair with my uncle, who was my dad’s sister’s husband and my dad’s brother-in-law. My dad figured it out after coming home early from work one night and noticing a distinctive tire width and tread pattern in his driveway that matched my uncle’s new work truck. He had no reason for being there that night.

He went inside and asked her if my uncle had been there, and she acted surprised and denied it. He then mentioned the tire marks and why he recognized them, and their house of cards promptly crumbled.

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32. His Silence Was Deafening

A sure clue is when your partner suddenly STOPS talking about someone. My ex would go on about his work colleagues, and he would often name them, so I felt as if I knew who they were. But then he stopped mentioning one particular girl. It was because he was seeing her behind my back.

I was suspicious from the get-go, but I couldn't really prove it until I finally found him out.

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33. It Was Curtains For Him

A few years ago, I had three jobs and one day, I ended up getting off early from one of them. I called my now ex to tell him and see if he wanted to go out to the store with me to get new sheets. He became really awkward really quick.

He told me to take my time getting home and that I could go to the store by myself and pick out the new sheets myself. That's when I remembered that he had said he was going to be hanging out with a girl who was his best friend’s little sister, who was 17 and he was 21.

At first, I thought nothing of it because no reasonable individual would mess around with a minor, mess around with someone who's like their younger sibling, or be dumb enough to still try and do the deed after I said I was on the way home, literally five minutes away.

Then, I remembered he was a 21-year-old male with raging hormones, and he's been alone with this girl for hours. Sure enough, I pulled into the driveway and I saw them through the crack in the curtain of my bedroom window. He saw me and they got out of that bed so fast the curtain came down.

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34. Showered With Deception

I walked into the bathroom while she was “taking a shower” to ask her a question about food, but instead, she was posing without clothes on in the mirror and sending pictures to someone on Snapchat. That was the absolute giveaway.

This was after months of late-night “going to the bar with work friends," while I stayed home with the kids.

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35. More Than Just Friends

She kept talking to her most recent ex on a regular basis. He was a long-distance trucker and she had a lot of casual friends, so she had me convinced that he was out of the picture romantically because he was physically very far away, and they were just platonic friends now.

This was the only big warning sign I got, so I gave her the benefit of the doubt. Then, a mutual friend told me that she was going out with him on motorcycle rides, and that was when I ended things. In hindsight, I knew something was off when she was talking to this guy regularly.

I had a gut feeling that they were more than friends and that she was hiding something from me, but she gaslit me pretty hard into trusting her regardless.

Even when we broke up and I confronted her about it, she vehemently denied that they were anything more than friends and claimed they were just catching up in person since they hadn't seen each other in a while.

I’m glad I got out when I did.

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36. Give The Woman Some Space!

The first clue with my ex-wife was that she started mentioning that I needed to spend more time with "my" friends so that she could be with "her" friends. The funny thing was, we were already doing this; she just wanted it more.

One night, I ended up at the tavern with a few friends. She was there with her friends, and she flipped out on me, telling me she needed space, so I just left. I got mad, so I stayed out until the bar closed and got a ride home. The next morning, she told me that she wanted to go to her high school reunion alone.

She wasn't mad that I was out late, nor did she wonder how I got home because I was trashed, but rather, she was concerned that I wasn’t giving her space. I knew she was cheating. Twelve days later, she told me she wanted a divorce.

I learned later she was sleeping with the bartender at the bar and one of her bosses at her job for a few months as well.

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37. He Had A Christy Conscience

I knew when one morning he rolled over and said, "Good morning Christy". My name is not Christy. I called him out on it, and he tried to deny it. He tried to say that maybe I had misheard him, but there was no chance of that. He claimed he didn't know any Christy; however, Christy ended up being the girl he worked with.

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38.  Off Into Another World

When I found out my boyfriend of two years was cheating on me, he started acting weird for about three weeks. Just weird. He wouldn’t really talk with me, he was emotionally distant and just not there with me like he was before. He was always somewhere off.

The icing on the cake was when he wouldn’t let me use his phone to call my parents when my car broke down. He must have thought I was stupid.

How I Realized They Were CheatingPexels

39.  Old Friends, New Enemies

My ex used to let me see his phone screen all the time if we were seated next to each other and didn't mind me knowing his password or using his phone if I needed to. Then one day, the password changed, and he only went on his phone when I left the room. He used to accuse me of cheating on nights out even though he was with me the whole night.

His messages were constantly FULL of random girls, which he was responding to, and I was expected to believe they were just "old friends". Yet, he got mad if I had a guy I didn't know in my list of followers, or God forbid, liking my photos. Also, one day he started talking about this girl at work.

He spoke about her all the time, and every day she'd done something really funny that he came home and told me about. I didn't think anything of it at first and actually joked with him, asking if I should be worried.

Well, the answer was yes because he was also messaging his friend the whole time telling her how much he fancied this girl at work and how he was planning to take her on a date.

How I Realized They Were CheatingShutterstock

40. Who’s Crazy Now?

The level of gaslighting was insane. My intuition told me something was off, but whenever I tried to check in with her about it, I got hit with the old, “We’re fine, stop being crazy” routine. By the end of it, I was really questioning my own sanity.

It turned out she had been sleeping with her boss for about six months. I’m glad to be out of that terrible relationship now.

How Affairs Start factsShutterstock

41. Suspicion Was the Key

For me, it was when I started getting suspicious. She suddenly had a password on her laptop, her phone was pin-locked, she started going out after work almost weekly, always started turning the screen away from my general direction, etc.

Things in her stories started becoming inconsistent as well, not adding up or changing from one day to the other. Basically, she became the opposite of what she usually was.

Dodge bulletShutterstock

42. Call Me By My Name

When she was mad at me, she called me the name of my friend, who she was sleeping with. Then, her brother told me where to look for her when I called their mom’s house across the state, where she had supposedly gone over the weekend. It was a two-hour drive to my friend’s house.

I took photos of her car in front of his house, overnight, and on multiple weekends. I gave those to my attorney, who called the Naval base JAG office, and we got a quickie divorce.

How I Realized They Were CheatingShutterstock

43. Where Was He Putting His Putter?

We had been together for nine years and had a little family with my daughter from a previous relationship and our daughter together. He'd been out all day at golf and only just made it home in time to come to the airport to drop my daughter—his stepdaughter—off when she was going to NZ to see her biological dad for three weeks. I had a seething bad feeling for the rest of the evening.

He thought I had gone to bed, but I was outside in the computer room late at night. I came out and saw him on the phone at about one in the morning. I thought he was complaining about me to one of his friends, so I was prepared to make a snide remark.

The look on his face when he saw me and how he quickly went, "I gotta go," and hung up, seemed odd. He was in the middle of an intimate call with his new lady friend. He also hadn't been playing golf all day; he'd been with her.

Lawyer divorce caseShutterstock

44. Lunch Buddies

I caught my ex-husband in bed with my best friend. We all worked together and he would prefer spending his lunch with her instead of me. He never had lunch with me, not even once. They would always leave the premises for lunch, as well. I should mention that the three of us had lunch at the same time because we worked the same shift.

The Sweetest RevengesPexels

45. The Long Drive Home

When she complains about you not driving three hours to come spend the night with her every week when she won't come to see you even once a month. Then, when you do go see her for Valentine's Day, she's not wearing the ring you gave her and says she gets blackout plastered at house parties every weekend.

Then, she breaks up with you as you're leaving because you have to work the next morning and it's already 2 AM and you still have a three-hour drive back home; that’s when you know.

How I Realized They Were CheatingPexels

46. A New Found “Friend”

He got friendly text messages from a girl I had never heard of before. After that, he started keeping his phone by him at all times, and he put a password on his laptop. He would go out to a "friend's" house "to work" and stay out until all hours of the night, sometimes not even coming home at all.

This said friend was recently married with a new baby, so I couldn't imagine anyone in that situation entertaining someone every night. Basically, he just acted extremely suspiciously.

Cheaters Get CaughtShutterstock

47. The Pick-Up Artist

We were about to go to sleep when he told me he was going to go pick up his plastered friend who was stranded all alone at some really lame party. He went downstairs and I was lying in bed.

About five minutes later, I heard a car and I thought, "that's him leaving," until I heard "Evening. Take me to," and he gave the address of a woman from our mutual friend group.

I was confused and looked out the window in time to see him riding in the backseat of a taxi down the street. I stayed up for two hours and when he got back, he smelled like perfume.

He wouldn't even tell me who he was "picking up," why it took two hours when the bar was 15 minutes away, or even how he picked them up since I saw him come back in a taxi and not in his truck. I ditched him the next day, and not even a week later, his Facebook status said he was in a relationship with that woman.

Heinously Heart-Wrenching BreakupsShutterstock

48. Locked Out Of Love

A few years back, my ex picked up new habits by always locking the doors behind her to take calls, and she was sleeping with me less. The times we did share the bed at night, her phone was always under her pillow and I would sometimes hear her get up and waltz off to another room before coming back about 5–10 minutes later.

There were a few times I walked in while the door was unlocked, and she would scramble to slam the laptop shut. But that wasn't all. There was also that one time she had nothing on from the waist down while being on the phone with someone.

Ultimately, it was very easy spotting the red flags and I wish I had left sooner, as there was also physical and verbal harm present.

How I Realized They Were CheatingShutterstock

49. Nice Try

My boyfriend would always want naughty photos from me all the time when I was traveling for work, and he would send them voraciously as well. Finally, one week when I was on a business trip, I sent him a few and got no response.

At the end of the day, I said, “Hey did you get those?" And his response was, “Yeah, those are nice”. That’s when I knew.

Romantic BetrayalsShutterstock

50. Can’t Beet It

An auntie saw red skidmarks in the toilet bowl, but she hadn't made any beetroot dishes all week. So, she called the most likely friend of hers and asked what was for lunch at her home. She told her that it was beetroot cutlets that she had made the night before.

She outright accused both of them immediately, and they admitted to an affair.

It’s Over For UsPexels


Sources: Reddit,


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