When it comes to making a solid first impression, these oversharers completely blew it. There’s nothing quite like learning a person’s deepest, darkest secrets, but when they’re a total stranger, it makes it even weirder. Luckily, these Redditors came away with a good story–even if they weren’t prepared for it in the first place.
1. This Little Piggy Went All The Way Home
Years ago in Nicaragua, I was in a bar sitting next to another expat in his 60s. It was me, him, and the bartender. We sat for a couple of hours just talking and drinking. The expat after a few drinks started telling us this story about having a pig in the 70s. He’d worked in a pharma lab and was in charge of the pigs.
He was responsible for their care and feeding. One day, they told him to put down his favorite pig, a gigantic buck hog, because it was sick. He couldn’t go through with it, so he packed his pig into his truck late at night and took it home. His living room became a pigsty, and he slowly nursed that pig back to health.
He loved this pig so much that he slept next to it to take care of it. He really wanted it to get better and even hand fed it. At this point in the story, the bartender and I were enthralled, and this guy was looking into the distance getting teary-eyed. He continued saying that the pig got aggressive as it got better.
So, it was used to getting “action” on the regular. It got so bad that he even tried using his hand to relieve some of the pig’s tension. It didn’t work. The poor bartender and I stared at him in horror as he began to sob. He cried that he loved the pig so much that he let it penetrate him. There were no words for us to say.
He kept sobbing uncontrollably and kept repeating how it happened. Between his sobs, he told us that in the end, they found out. They sent security to take it away from him because it’d been out of the lab for so long. The pig was euthanized, and he was fired. I didn’t know what to do and put some money on the counter.
I flashed the bartender a terrified look and walked away leaving the poor expat sobbing with his head down. As messed up as that story was, he’d been carrying it around for decades. I hope telling it brought him some peace.
2. Brand New Everything
I was with my dad at a client’s house to make an estimate on some work they needed to be done. All I got out when I met the owners was, “hi, your house is gorgeous!” before the wife went into full detail about why they’d bought it the year before. And boy—the story was quite a doozy: She said that their daughter became pregnant after someone attacked her.
Since they were very religious, they convinced her to keep the baby and miss school for a year while she was pregnant. This new house was in another school district for her to finish high school without needing to face her former classmates. The final kicker? They were planning to raise the baby as her younger brother. I was pretty much speechless. What do you even say to that…?
3. Sea Scaries
My new manager and I were chatting when he decided to mention his time in the navy during the 70s. He and his friends broke some rules, and a narc was on the ship. So, they told him he needed to go to the front of the ship. They ganged up on him, beat him to a pulp, wrapped him in a carpet, and tossed him off the side.
I immediately asked about what happened to the guy. He just said, “I don’t know.” I asked three more questions about the man’s fate, and all my new manager said was, “I don’t know.” When I asked if anyone asked about him, he just said that no one talked about it again. I just said, “well, it was nice meeting you, Abe.” He said, “call me pops.”
4. No Filter
There was a new girl at the pub who was just really messed up. She came out on her very first shift and told everyone that the toilet was clogged and someone needed to fix it. She apparently couldn’t because of her anxiety. Seeing that we weren’t getting it, she went on to laugh and say that she had an eating disorder.
After her giant lunch, she threw it up and didn’t have anything to unclog the toilet. We all just awkwardly moved on and shrugged it off. But that was just the beginning. On her second shift, she forgot her log-in code and had to be reminded three times. And then she started telling the other servers, bartender, and support staff how to do their jobs.
The worst part was that she was wrong most of the time. We stopped trying to correct her after realizing she would just waste more time explaining why she was right. So, we all bit our tongues. When the manager found out that she reorganized the place unasked, she made her put it all back; her response was to complain.
And she was straight up rude with people on the phone, bad tippers, and even the owner. Like she was pretty and seemed normal enough until you spent time with her. She had a nice smile and soft voice but had the balls to tell the woman who’d worked for 20 years that she wasn’t doing something correctly. That’s bravery.
I asked if she wanted to stay for a drink after work, and she accepted. We hadn’t known each other for that long. All I really knew about her was her hometown and where she’d worked before. But then she unloaded way too much information on me. She told me she had to run because she’d signed up for a sugar baby account.
She was meeting with a potential client and hoped it’d work out because she was behind on rent and only wanted to sleep with rich guys. These were too many details that nobody asked to know. I just smiled and nodded while freaking out in my head. She left without leaving any money for our drinks, and I had to cover it.
On our next and ultimately last shift together, I showed up to see her eating two whole plates of food. She had two entrées and may as well have dislocated her jaw like a trap door and dumped the plates. It felt weird because this was after she’d just told everybody about her eating disorder and sugar baby aspirations.
Not wanting to clean up after her again, I straight up asked her why she was eating that much just to throw it up. She laughed and told me that she’d decided she was going back to being a “chubby.” Exhausted, I asked why she couldn’t do it the healthy way instead of the extreme way through binge eating and throwing up.
She laughed again and explained that her new clients wanted to see how fat she got. I then received a lesson on how lucrative it could be for a camgirl. She added in all too graphic detail how much she planned to gain per day and how people were already sending her hundreds of dollars in tips to eat as much as she can. But that wasn’t even the worst part.
She got fired a couple of hours later for using in the bathroom and blowing one of our regulars who’d just gotten married the day before. All of which I found out the next day.
5. Running Into Trouble
When I was a missionary, I was speaking with a Honduran man who was describing his journey getting into Mexico on his way to America. He said he was somewhere in the jungle mountains being ruthlessly pursued by Mexican immigration. He had been running all night and just kept running. He told me he just got in “the zone.”
He told me how he had not slept in days and was “running while asleep.” Then he tripped on something and fell face-first onto something soft. As he landed on it, he said it let out a very strange moan…This freaked him out big time, and he immediately scrambled back away from it before he collided with a tree.
It was 3 AM in the mountains in the middle of the jungle. He sat in mental and physical shock until the rising sun shed light on it. When he finally realized what he wasn’t looking at—he couldn’t believe it…It was two bodies with nothing on. The corpses were bloated from being out there so long. He later ran to a village and found shelter with a charitable family who reported what he’d found.
6. Getting Close
I had to pick up a friend of a friend from her job before a party. I’d never met her before that night. When I got out of my car at her job site, she came out screaming and running towards me and jumped into my arms like we were long-time friends. This was in Canada, so I shrugged it off as a strange Canadian greeting.
We went back to the hotel suite to prep for the party with a few other people. We were drinking heavily and making small talk when I mentioned I needed to jump in the shower before the party started. Suddenly, she stuck her hand down her pants, pulled it out, and sniffed it. After making a face, she said she’d join me.
Before I knew what was happening, she grabbed my arm and was pulling me to the bathroom. Keep in mind, this all happened in front of several people. They knew her, but I didn’t, and they were laughing. She had a reputation of being a sort of crazy free-spirited person. And I was too wasted to realize what was happening.
I was in a bit of shock because I didn’t know if she was weird or coming on to me but knew I needed to take a shower, so I went along with it. Later that night, we ended up running around the city singing and dancing in a mess of a good time. It was possibly the strangest interaction I’ve had with someone I’d just met.
7. It’s That Serious
The host at a work-related event broke us into groups for ice-breakers. None of us had ever met. The first question was a generic, “what’s a challenge you’ve overcome?” There were mentions of being the first in the family to graduate, a minority business owner, a person struggling with their career, that kind of thing.
Then with no emotion at all, the last guy said, “the biggest challenge I’ve faced was probably holding my wife’s hand as she gave birth in the back of a car…to another man’s baby.” What an incredible first-and-only thing to know about a person.
8. Poor Follow-Through
I’d just moved into a new building and was outside when the downstairs neighbor stumbled out absolutely wasted. He told me that, in what I thought was a joking manner, his wife left him and he was planning on ending his life. I sat with him for hours telling him that it’d get better, life goes on, and to keep his head up.
I even invited him up for dinner. He declined the offer but said he appreciated it and talking with me. Then he went back inside to go to bed. I woke up in the morning and went outside to light one up to see an ambulance and officers all over the place. My neighbor did what he said he was going to do. He took his life.
His door was wide open with his phone ringing nonstop. He’d use a song as a ringtone that had the lyrics, “lonely, I am so lonely.” I went upstairs to my wife and burst into tears.
9. Word Vomit
I’m a female and when I was 19, I met a girl who was also a regular at a local coffee joint. We’d sometimes chat casually. Then one day, I was going to drive to see friends 3 hours away for a fun filled weekend. She said it sounded fun, and for some reason, I invited her. She said yes, and I picked her up the next day. And let me tell you, that three-hour journey was the ride of a lifetime…
This girl unloaded all of her life stories and they were downright disturbing. She told me that she was bulimic and hid jars of vomit under her bed from her parents so she wouldn’t get in trouble. She just ran away and left them there. While on the run, she took a train ride that was three days long and then met an older couple.
She spent the three days sleeping with them and using all sorts of substances. I’m sure there was more, but those were the things that stuck with me. But heck, her shenanigans didn’t end there. She ended up getting pregnant by another guy at the coffee joint. She constantly told everyone how big his junk was. I never saw her after that.
10. What Does Your Daddy Do?
I lived beside this strange family when I was around 10. The little girl was 5 and always clung onto me any time we played outside. All she did was talk incessantly and always wanted to hang out and inviting herself over whenever she got the chance. She annoyed me so badly, but she was really sweet and just excited about everything.
Then one day, she asked the most disturbing question: “Do you ever wrestle with your dad with no clothes on?” I told her no and that it was weird because I didn’t really get it. She told me that she, her dad, and brother “wrestled” a lot. I didn’t understand at all being 10, but I still think about that day. I wish I understood and said something.
11. New Moms
I went to my partner’s sister’s wedding two years into our relationship. I was 9 months pregnant and took the wedding as an opportunity to meet more of his family. We sat down at the reception. My partner introduced me to his cousin at our table and then went to get some food for both of us. Then the cousin got chatty.
She told me that she was pregnant before. I asked her where her kid was so I could meet him. That was when she pulled out her phone and showed me the most disturbing thing I’ve ever seen: a picture of her baby’s body. She then explained that her doctor got her due date wrong, and she was 11 months pregnant before she went into labor. The baby couldn’t breathe.
He didn’t make it, and she had to have a funeral for him. I saw pictures of her baby in a tiny casket, which were also her lock screen and phone wallpaper. This all had happened two years before. I was pregnant for my first time and so afraid of labor and delivery. She freaked me out. I ended up going past my due date.
I was terrified and called my doctor every day after my due date passed. It all ended well, my baby came out alive and healthy.
12. Breaking Bad Bones
There was a man who was in the short-term nursing home for a hip replacement when I was working. I was trying to get to know him to figure out what kind of skills he needed to improve for him to return home safely. So, I asked him if he cooked. He said, “yes, but then the sheriff’s department found out and took me in.”
13. Daddy’s Here
When I was an English teacher in Asia, an older gentleman joined one of my classes. He was retired, wealthy, and bored. One day, no one else was in class, and he asked to do a “free talk” session. Since it was just us, I agreed and mostly discussed his business life and his philosophy behind it. I asked why he retired…and was regaled with the wildest story ever.
He was so focused on his business in China that he barely saw his wife and two kids who were being raised in the US. When his son was a teenager, he started to get into a lot of trouble. So, this man’s solution was to bring him back to Shanghai with him then set him up in his own apartment with enough money to survive.
The kid was basically left to his own devices, and one could only imagine what kind of trouble a 16-year-old with money and his own place can get into. A few months in, his son had knocked up an escort. The man was not very pleased. When the girl started asking for money, the father had major connections and used them.
And these people paid her a visit and gave her the “option” of getting a ridiculous amount of money to end the pregnancy. She took the deal, and the son was sent back to the US. His son became depressed and started to use heavily. And it got to the point where he tried overdosing and ended up in the hospital in a coma.
The father rushed back to the US to see his son. Then when he came to, he asked his son why he’d done that. His son looked his father straight in the eye and gave him the most staggering response: he said that he took away his son, so he wanted to do the same. I was absolutely floored that he was telling me any of this. He said he decided to retire after that.
14. Something Stinks
I was at a community clinic once back in college. I was sitting by myself in an empty waiting room when a young man about my age came in wearing baggy grey sweatpants and a stained white t-shirt. He smelled awful and sat right beside me. Within moments, he started telling me the most impressive story he could think of.
Unfortunately, the story was about being on Jerry Springer. He said that Jerry put them up in a nice hotel, and they basically had open bar privileges. He was talking about his trip on stage and how his junk fell out of his pants. He then showed me the gesture he used to grab and fling his stuff on national television.
I sat there holding my breath. In my head, I was begging to hear my name, and a few minutes later, I did. The nurse closed the door behind me and told me that she didn’t actually have anywhere for me to go but could tell I needed an out. Then she let me sit there to keep waiting. I was so, so grateful she’d rescued me.
15. Unpaid Overtime
I had to stay late when I was a manager with one of the female employees because her parents were running late. She broke down and confessed her dark backstory to me. It was about how her best friend’s father had been inappropriate with her and that he’d been doing the same to her friend for years. After she reported what he did to her, he was put away.
The worst part was that her best friend hated her for turning her father in since he’d told her that it was all normal behavior. The employee had only worked there for a few weeks, so we only worked together a couple of times. I didn’t really know her that well and had no words. I think she just needed to tell someone.
16. Once In A Blue Moon
Right before close, a woman came into the small bank where I worked during a snow storm. She was holding really old financial documents that smelled of mildew. She claimed that her husband had accounts with our bank and she needed the money and to close all the accounts. But the paperwork she gave me wasn’t for the bank.
When we tried looking for her husband in our system, we couldn’t find him. She said that her husband was attacked by a werewolf who was actually her husband’s brother. Her husband was now a werewolf, and she needed the money for protection. After muttering a little and walking around the lobby agitated a bit, she left.
Luckily, my manager was really cool and dealt with talking with her. I was a bystander, but it was still a very weird thing to witness, especially under the circumstances.
17. Stranger Comforts
Hitchhiking through New Zealand, a semi driver picked me up. He seemed like an awesome guy, but an hour into the drive, he started unloading every bit of personal information he could. He talked about how he’d cheated on his wife, screwed the company out of money, taken items. It was like I was a priest in a confession booth.
When I asked him why he told me all of that, he said it’d been eating him up inside for years and telling me helped get it off of his chest. He told me that I had no idea who he or anyone he knew was, so it felt like I was the perfect person to unload on.
18. Sharing The Burden
I worked with a fidgety old woman in retail as a teenager. I was always very nice to her, but she was just a co-worker at the end of the day. She told me one day at work about her issues with her grandfather that started when she was very young. Her parents never believed her, so it continued until the end of his life.
She told me that she was glad that he was gone and was really happy during his funeral. I really had no clue what to say since she told me this out of nowhere. I just said I was really sorry that had happened to her. I remember that I felt really bad for her because I could still tell that it still really bothered her.
19. Country Bound
I once asked this lady at work what her plans were for the long weekend. This was a HUGE mistake. She launched into this huge conspiracy theory about how every American is a bond to the government and that social security numbers are actually bond numbers. According to her, wealthy people owned these bonds meaning they owned you. Then she listed off different prices based on race and gender. I just stood there taking it all in…
20. Laugh It Off
Within the new guy’s first hour on the job, not only was he repugnant, but he also told a story that put everyone in the office on edge. At his second job the day before, a co-worker had his hand caught in a machine. He was absolutely delighted talking about how he openly laughed in the guy’s face as he sobbed in pain.
But that wasn’t all—he told the guy that he was going to be in debt for a long time because no one was going to pay for his accident, his wife was going to leave him, he was going to lose his job, and a lot more awful things. He laughed and said whatever he could think of to make the guy’s already terrible day worse.
21. How I Met Your Mother
My mom is a nurse and had a patient who blew most of his face off. He met a woman online later on in his life who he began dating. Despite their large age difference, they got serious and moved in together. He said he was adopted as a kid, and it turned out the woman was his biological mother. The most disturbing part? She knew the entire time.
22. Just A Quickie
Back in the days of AOL Personals, I was on a date with a man I met on there. In the first five minutes, he told me he was working on a book. The subject? Speed seduction. And he was so confident that he could “speed seduce” me, he’d already put on a rubber and was ready for me. I couldn’t get out of there fast enough.
23. Did You Hear That?
When I worked in a catalogue store, I sold a lady a Dictaphone. She had sheepishly asked me if there was something for her to record other people without them knowing. It was weird, but who was I to judge? I just worked the tills and suggested the items. But then she told me she needed it because of harassment at home.
I thought nothing of it, and she left with her purchase. On my next shift, she came back in demanding to speak to me about the device. She demanded to know if there should already be voices on it. Weirded out, I was surprised that she’d already tried to use it. Then she leaned across the counter and started whispering. What she told me was so ridiculous—I’ll never forget it.
She told me about how spirits in her home were attacking her and she needed proof. She played the Dictaphone, and we heard some mundane household sounds. There was nothing ghostly. Well, this lady became quite fond of me and came in to tell me about ghosts. She’d even asked about me after I left that job.
24. Too Close For Comfort
There are four different households on the shared property where we live. My husband and I can be very introverted and have an 8-year-old girl. The other households are not our kind of people. We’re not prudish, but the people who live on the property are older and quite toxic. I found this out when I first met my neighbor.
My kid and I were playing in our fenced off yard, and my neighbor invited herself to join. She opened the gate and staggered in my kid’s direction. I immediately call her back to me while telling my neighbor to back off. The neighbor began to put two and two together. That’s when her face twisted into a weird smile, and she introduced herself.
After telling my kid to go back inside, I asked her what she thought she was doing rudely just opening my gate. She watched my kid run into the house and said she’s a mom too. I didn’t care. I told her to get out because I never invited her in. She just kept saying she wasn’t a bad person until I firmly told her to go.
By that point, my husband recognized something was going on and came outside. The wasted lady started approaching him repeating that she wasn’t a bad person. He gently told her that nobody said she was but she needed to leave. Then she went on about how her children were taken away from her and she wasn’t a bad person.
She asked us not to hide our daughter from her because she wouldn’t hurt her, and I lost it. I shouted that she needed to get out of our yard and never come back. That was when our next-door neighbor noticed our commotion and realized that she was missing a party guest. She came to the fence and saw what was happening.
She immediately started apologizing blaming the drinks for our neighbor’s bizarre behavior. After tempting her with more drinks, she got her out of my yard. And that’s how we met creepy Tanya. She tried another time inviting us over for a barbecue by knocking on our back door. She greeted me with the same creepy smile.
My face showed the repulsion I was feeling right away, and I told her that we were never going to be friends and to never approach us again. I told her she made me uncomfortable and shut the door. Later, my next-door neighbor tried chatting with me about her saying that she was a sweet person, and I was not interested.
25. Concerning Behavior
On a first date after 3 drinks, the young anesthesiologist I met on Tinder revealed that he’d been experimenting with micro-dosing shrooms and LSD for depression. He later admitted “micro” was a stretch and that he often was tripping at work while administering meds. He shoved pills in my pocket at the end of the date.
26. Pretty Smooth Guy
There was an announcement at a work party that we were going to Vancouver for a meeting the next month. The new guy at work got so excited—he basically lost his mind. He started talking about the best “happy ending” massage parlors in Vancouver. He just went on and on about etiquette and what to expect. The cherry on top? This man was married with three kids.
27. Sorry, You’re Breaking Up
I had a colleague who ignored me most of the time. No head nods, eye contact, or any good morning greetings. It was fine by me since I never had to directly work with him. But then one day on my lunch break, I was sitting outside by myself, and he joined me. Out of nowhere, he started chatting as if we’re best friends.
He told me how he was going through a bitter divorce and everything he wanted to do to his ex-wife. It was graphic and drastic, to say the least. Since I was new and a junior, I didn’t dare let him think I was judging him. After a half an hour of me peppering in some “hmm’s,” and “I see’s,” in vain, he finally stopped. On the bright side, he never saw his ex-wife again or did anything he said he would. He might have just needed to vent that day, but it sure did ruin my lunch break.
28. Flatulence On Fifth
I was on a university trip to New York with people from my course year and the year below. I knew most of the younger students by their faces but only spoke to a few. I wasn’t feeling good the morning we were going back from partying the night before. So, I was uncomfortably waiting in line for the toilet at the hotel. While I stood there waiting, a guy from the year below came up behind me.
We’d never spoken, so I smiled at him awkwardly then said “hi.” He said to me with a grim face that he pooped his pants while walking down Fifth Avenue after he passed gas. He said he came back to clean up. I was just bewildered and didn’t respond. On the plane, my best friend messaged me saying that he was sitting next to that guy and could very faintly smell poop.
29. Body Parts
It was my first session with a new massage therapist. While I was enjoying the massage, she asked me if I knew that vaccines have parts of aborted fetuses in them. I, obviously, didn’t know how to respond. She kept going saying that “they” didn’t want people to know about it, but there was an undercover video as proof.
Finally, I asked why would anyone put aborted fetus parts in the vaccine. She just told me that it was a preservative. At a complete loss for words, the first thing that came into my mind after, “what the heck,” were, “that hardly seems cost-effective.” She just said she didn’t know and must have heard the wrong thing.
30. Call Me Away
I worked at a call center and sat next to a woman who told me all about her pregnancy – not just the usual, “the baby’s kicking!” or “here’s my ultrasound!” She told me about her “mucus plug” falling out, her baby daddy posting personal ads online to have affairs, and how much milk she was producing. It was unbearable.
I would literally turn around to look at my monitor, and she would just keep talking to the back of my head. I wanted to get out of there but was stuck with our assigned seats.
31. Starting Off Strong
A girl in my psychology class did a presentation about her genital mutilation. She went into detail about how painful and traumatic it was. She said that she couldn’t feel pleasure and how it hurt her personal life and her own relationship with her body. We were all shocked. The professor didn’t really know what to do.
All of that information was in the first two minutes of her presentation, and we all just sat there silent. Then she started crying and continued for eight more minutes with tears streaming down her face.
32. But Y-Chromosome?
I sat on the train with a very sweet older man who, within twenty minutes, was telling me about the purpose of his trip. He was going to meet his biological father who he had discovered via 23andMe. They had to discuss changing his last name, which was the condition of becoming the sole inheritor of his father’s estate.
He told me how he was feeling a little guilty about it. His three half-sisters were excluded from their father’s will because he “finally had a legacy.” Woof. He disembarked twenty minutes later, and I have thought about it constantly for years.
33. Night Is Young
Another foreigner started chatting with me when I was out one night in Tokyo. A few girls talked to us, but nothing was really happening. He suggested other places to drink, so we took the train. On the way there, he thought I should know that the girl at the last bar was 23 but was probably lying. That freaked me out.
I was glad that we got out of there, but then he continued saying that she was probably 27 or older. This man was in his 30s, balding, and had a gut. He was fluent in Japanese which gave him the confidence to chat up random girls. I asked him why 27 was too old for him. That’s when it got really gross: he told me that he only tried for girls under 20.
He “preferred” teenagers and told me he had “been with” some of his high school students who he taught. I didn’t even answer him. I just got lost in the crowd once we got to the station and never saw him again.
34. Great Escape
One of my co-workers told me about her messed up relationship with a guy who mistreated her. He started her addiction and one time dosed her then impregnated her. She had been actually very happy because she had always wanted to be a mother. Except one night, she came back home late, and he was wasted and mad about it.
So, he pinned her down, dosed her, and beat her bad. She woke up miscarrying and hearing him tell her that was what she deserved. She cried and said that it was all her fault for loving him so much and letting him do that to her. Enraged, I helped her get out of that relationship as soon as possible. It broke my heart.
35. Wrong Ingredients
The new cook we hired was nice enough but a little eccentric. Like we caught him doing karate moves on the railing out back once. And he ran home to get his banking information during his orientation even though the manager told him to just bring it the next day. So, from our perspective, he was strange right from the get-go.
One day during the dinner shift, I was in the server station with a co-worker getting stuff ready for our tables. Then out walked the strange new guy. So, I asked him how he was. He responded by saying that he wasn’t great at all. Without thinking, I asked if he wanted to talk about it; I regretted it almost instantly.
He went on to tell me that he got his friend a kidney off the black market but it was the wrong blood type. I do not remember the rest of that conversation because I think I blocked it out. All I remember was giving my sympathies and wishing him luck. I looked at my co-worker to make sure I heard him right. She nodded.
36. Girl Talk
A girl in high school giggled while telling me that she’d been sleeping with her gym instructor since she was 13. She thought it was romantic. She told me this when she was 17. Her gym instructor was 35 and also engaged. 18-year-old me had no idea how to support her. She began avoiding me after I told her it was wrong.
37. Major Overcorrection
I was talking to a guy at work who was suspiciously being too nice. A few minutes into the conversation to give me some “context,” he told me that he had attempted to end his life several times and that he could be violent sometimes. We moved on as if that was nothing for the rest of our chat. He never stopped smiling.
38. Bonus Prize
I met a guy at a party who, after two hours of meeting most of us, told us a wild story. We’re all already open with each other, so he probably thought that we’d be cool with him being that upfront. Well, he has a thing about his butt. He said that once he put marbles up there keeping count in case one was left behind.
50 marbles went in. When he was done, he counted each as they came out. There were 51. He counted them again and again, and there were for sure 51 marbles. The logical explanation was miscounting them on the way in, but at the party, we all joked about him having some mysterious portal inside where the extra came from.
39. Let You In
My wife and I were walking up to her family member’s house when she decided to tell me, out of nowhere, that her relative found her two kids being inappropriate with each other the summer before. She said not to bring it up. I just stood there with my jaw dropped before the door opened. The whole time I wondered which two.
40. In the Name Of The Father
I used to take the bus all the time when I was in college. One day, a 12-year-old came up to me when I had my guitar and asked what kind it was. I told him it was acoustic and hoped that would be the end of our conversation. Except he kept on talking. So, I asked him if he also played the guitar. He told me he didn’t. But he did tell me the saddest story ever…
He said that his dad bought him a guitar as a present before he lost his battle with cancer. I felt sorry for him. So, I chose to talk with him before taking the bus home. I was glad after learning he fought a kid who he heard talking bad about his dad. He’d gotten expelled. I was glad I could give him a listening ear.
41. Come Hail Or High Water
When I was in my 20s, I worked as a consular officer in Seychelles with people like old rich guys who lose their passports, sick sailors, and US citizen born children. It was never very exciting. Except for one day, this guy came in on a sad little boat. He had ruffled hair, a deep tan, and poorly mended sailor shorts.
I invited him into my office, offered him coffee, and asked what I could do for him. He started by telling me that he’d left LA over a year before—right before sailing across the Pacific. He paused, and I repeated my question. He continued telling me that he needed to introduce himself because somebody was trying to take him out.
He told me that if it happened, I would immediately know who did it and went on to tell me why. When he was in Tahiti, he met an American couple there and got chummy with them. He and the older guy with his younger, cute girlfriend fraternized. He went on to sail to another Polynesian island, but ended up bumping into them again.
At night, he brought over a bottle, and they got hammered talking about life and how they got into sailing. At some point, the husband went below deck. The girlfriend then told him how they really achieved their dream of sailing to Bora Bora. The man had been a businessman in San Francisco and bought it with a partner.
It was more than he could afford, but with a boat partner she said, you get twice the boat. He and his partner knew each other from being friends and running in the same circles. The husband said that he wanted to sail to Alaska once they had the boat. So, they spent a year decking out the boat for blue water cruising.
Finally, it was ready. The husband took his turn on the boat for a week in the Pacific, but out of nowhere, dumped his wife, picked up his girlfriend, loaded a lot of provisions, and set sail to the Galapagos Islands. After hearing how he eliminated his boat partner, he came back enraged that she let the cat out of the bag.
It wasn’t clear to him how mad the older man was until he tried convincing him that his girlfriend was only joking. He felt the mood change as if the guy was about to do something dire. He said the boat partner was rich and wouldn’t miss the money so it was no big deal. He would’ve collected the insurance money anyway.
No one would find the boat since he’d never discussed where he was going. That was what the old man told him. Then the man asked him how long he was going to be at that anchorage and where he was planning to go next. That was when the man in my office realized that he was not in a safe situation. He knew too much.
And he was in the middle of nowhere with people who’d commandeered a half million dollar boat and could very easily make him disappear. He rowed back to his own boat and slept uneasily. In the morning, the friendly vibe had disappeared altogether and was replaced with a terrifying one. The girlfriend appeared to be afraid.
Their invites continued, but they were uncomfortable. He was just pumped for information and plied with drink after drink almost on purpose. They were trying to convince him to sail with them somewhere isolated. That afternoon, the guy sailed right out of there, and for the next six months, he sailed through Polynesia.
He traveled southwest and found out that they’d been following him through the islands. They did that for almost a year all the way to Indonesia through the Indian Ocean to Diego Garcia. So, that was why he was there in Seychelles. He had a simple request. He gave me an envelope with the names the couple had given him.
He told me that they were catching up and heard they’d asked about him in Diego Garcia, a US navy base. He didn’t trust “the authorities” but was willing to take a chance on me. He told me that if I didn’t receive a postcard from Cape Town within sixty days, I was to assume they were successful in making him disappear.
Then he asked me to contact his family and report the name of the boat and his pursuers to the authorities. He left, and about two months later, I got his postcard from South Africa. So, at least I know he survived–at least until Cape Town.
42. Leaking Info
One night when I was very sick, I had to go to the pharmacy to get some cold medicine. I zombie-walked my way to get what I needed. All I had left to do was pay for it, but somehow the cashier started telling me all about her dad’s drinking problem as I stood there trying not to let my entire brain leak out of my nose.
43. Going The Distance
I was showing a vendor where our backroom at my work was. She told me she’d had only been on the job for a month, so I hadn’t met her. She talked about how her roommate’s girlfriend got a restraining order against her and how officers took her in that day because she didn’t know about it and all this other crazy stuff.
44. New Relationships
It was my first time seeing a lady while bartending. One drink in, and she spilled all the tea: she told me that her husband cheated on her so she cheated on him with a young Jehovah Witness who showed up at her front door. She ended up getting knocked up by the Jehovah Witness and now has a child out of wedlock. I didn’t even get her name.
45. Getting To Ya
I started working at a flower shop as a delivery driver. On the first day of training, I was working with a woman who told me about how she was still dealing with losing her parents. She went into great detail about the stresses of funeral arrangements and that she had to be the one to dress her mother for the viewing.
None of her siblings were able to handle doing it. She even told me about a text message she believed she received from her late mother. I did my best to be sympathetic, but we were out on a four-hour delivery drive. She definitely took that opportunity to dump a serious amount of baggage to someone who couldn’t leave.
46. Intimate Conversations
I was walking with a friend of a friend after my friend left. His friend started telling me the benefits of not touching yourself and his gross habits. He told me how he touched himself on a train while with all of his friends in a way that no one noticed. He asked his father for help who suggested drinking buttermilk.
47. Failing The Sniff Test
I was on a first date with a guy I met on a dating app. I don’t go out often being shy, so it was drinks and board games at my place. He came by, and my two dogs barked at him when he came to the door. I apologized. He told me not to worry and then went on to say that he’d be able to take out my dog if it attacked him. And then he said something that made me nope right out of that date.
Then he admitted that he snuffed out his cat “by accident” when he was 12. That was what made me text my friend an SOS when I excused myself to the bathroom. 15 minutes later, my friend just walked through the door and told him that she had a brown belt in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu and could take him down if he didn’t leave.
48. Every Picture Tells A Story
I had to have my picture taken for a visa so went to a local photography shop that took the pictures and printed them out for you on the spot. I had been talking to the guy as he worked on other photos, and when he finally took my picture, he started opening up about losing his son in a car accident three years before.
He told me about how I reminded him of him. His son had been in his senior year and was not able to graduate. He even showed me pictures of him, which were heartbreaking. The worst part was when he told me about his doctors giving him about two to three years before his degenerative muscular disease left him bedridden.
49. Not Just A Pretty Face
It was my first time going out with a few new co-workers. One woman my age in her late 20s told us how she resented her boyfriend for his habit of touching himself as she thought that was cheating. She said that she didn’t even enjoy sleeping with people. She only enjoyed receiving oral but did touch herself sometimes.
But she only did it to spite her boyfriend. Not only was this a very inappropriate topic for coworkers, but it also showed a bleak view of relationships and her jealous and spiteful nature, and I started avoiding her like the plague after that. She’s pretty and quite successful, but her personality does not reflect it.
50. Womb To Rent
I learned from two short conversations with my neighbor that he wanted a surrogate from a poorer country. This was so that his child couldn’t find their biological mother because the women were never listed on any of the paperwork. He then asked me if I was willing to consider surrogacy. I was already visibly pregnant.
51. Longest Time On Hold
On my very first day of working at the supermarket, my co-worker was on hold on the phone in the breakroom. I waved hello to which she responded by telling me that she was trying to deal with her boyfriend who was locked up in Barbados. She said that he was a nice guy and came to Canada to get away from bad influences.
She went on to say that he’d been great and that was how they’d met–he apparently came to the store every day to just watch her. Unfortunately, he went back to visit, and he fell back into his old habits and took out a store clerk during a holdup with his friend. Later, I found out my co-worker was only 17-years-old.
52. Getting The Chills
I was buying an AC during Black Friday sales. There were no more on the shelf, so one of the employees was helping me get the display model. He carried it all the way to the front for me. I thanked him and wished him a happy holiday season. Then suddenly, a shadow crossed his face, and he looked me straight in the eye.
He then told me how he ran over a man the year before during the holidays. It was ruled an accident, but he decided to never celebrate a holiday again because of it.
53. Heavy Load
A co-worker kept falling asleep on me whenever we worked together. On the second day, I asked if he was okay because he constantly fell asleep. He said he had insomnia, which made sense, and I felt bad for him. An hour later, he was nodding off again. This terrified me since he was driving. I shouted at him to wake up.
He jolted awake, apologized, and then started telling me what happened that made him unable to sleep. About ten years before, he was going through a divorce when someone broke in and attacked his daughter within an inch of her life. But that wasn’t all. They then went into his wife’s room and offed her also. The guy was caught weeks later.
Except his body was found in a ditch. The man was taking care of his daughter when officers came to take him away right after they found the body. He was the number one suspect, and they questioned him relentlessly even though he had no idea what had happened. With no evidence and his lawyer, they finally released him.
His voice cracked as he told me that the attacker was a friend of the family and how he still wondered what happened to him. Then he said in a more menacing voice that no one would ever know and they had nothing on him. After a long pause, it was as if he caught himself and switched back to his original, fun guy voice.
“And that’s why I have trouble sleeping every night for the last 10 years.” I just looked away after getting chills and wondered if it was him who did it.
54. Pipe Cleaning
A customer at my skincare counter in the department store where I worked explained at length the benefits of a coffee enema. It could treat everything from acne to cancer. I could not get her to stop because the store was empty with nobody else to help. She didn’t even need my products, so I didn’t know why she stayed.
She went on about how she started her kids on the enemas until they could do them on their own. She grabbed my hands and kept telling me to promise that I’d try it. Only after I promised did she leave. I broke that promise.
55. My Cue To Leave
One time, I got in a cab where the driver told me many messed up stories. They weren’t all about himself but really messed up nonetheless. When I first got in, he point-blank asked me if I was a vegan. I replied no. He was relieved, which already was very strange. He then started a monologue about drinking cow’s blood.
He got it from a neighboring butcher every time there’s a slaughter. He explained that drinking animal blood helped humans stay grounded. Then he started to talk about how some of his customers paid him with their bodies and his best customers were older woman. As a 19-year-old woman, I was already quite uncomfortable.
I was constantly texting a friend and about to jump out of the car. Unfortunately, I stayed long enough for him to start a rant on how he couldn’t stand Pride. While I remained mostly quiet prior to this as I didn’t feel like arguing with him, this is something that always triggers me and I couldn’t keep my mouth shut.
When he mentioned our country using gas chambers against certain people, I knew it was time to go. So, I asked him to pull off on the breakdown lane, got out of the car, and called friends to pick me up. Safe to say, I’ll never call for a cab from that company again.