We all know that dating can be pretty rough, but these Redditors share experiences that lower the bar to stunning depths. From absolutely nonsensical behavior to factors beyond the lovebird’s control, these stories will have us all thanking our lucky stars that none of it happened to us. To anyone still on the dating market, good luck!
1. Everyone Loves A Good Nap
She looked great when I picked her up from her house. First thing she asked was to go to the convenience store, where I bought her a big box of discount tampons and two packs of smokes. She opened the smokes and lit one up and then opened the tampons and installed one right there in the front seat. She crumpled up the paper and tossed it on the ground.
I started to drive to the restaurant. During the drive at some point, she fell asleep. We got to the restaurant and I couldn’t wake her up. The more I tried, the nastier she got. I drove her back home. Then spent about 25 minutes trying to get her up and out of the car. She called me the next day and apologized. She told me she took a Xanax right before I got there.
She also said it was good I brought her back early because she was supposed to be babysitting her sister’s kids. Her sister came home early and I saved her from a bunch of problems. Although we talked on the phone, we never went out after that, and I quickly lost track of her after. And I have absolutely no idea where she is today.
2. If She’s That Great, You Date Her
She was nothing like her profile picture and just a horrible person. But it was after the date that it got truly….”interesting.” She stalked me to my van and took down my phone number. On the way home, she asked if I would come back and see her. I said thanks but no thanks and have a nice life. In the proceeding days, I received numerous texts and phone calls from her and had to have her number blocked by my phone provider. Oh, that was not the end.
On New Year’s Day at 4 am, I receive a call…from her ex-husband, asking why I wouldn’t date her. He tells me that she’s a good person and all that. Turns out they went out on NYE and decided to call me. I hung up only for them to keep calling me back. Ended up turning my phone off. When I turned my phone back on, I had received 20+ voice recordings that were getting more and more threatening.
In the last one, I could hear them in a car saying they were coming over to get me. I spoke to my neighbor who gets up early and had gone for a run and he told me there was a couple being taken into custody around the corner from our place who had hit a light pole.
3. Stay Home Next Time
We went out to a nice cafe and she made the barista remake her triple shot latte multiple times while hovering over the coffee machine and criticizing their milk frothing and bean grinding and shot extraction and milk brands. Then she asked to come behind the counter and do it herself. She was the coffee girl at a gas station so she thought she knew better.
She even complained about all the awful customers she had to deal with…while she was eyeballing the person remaking her coffee for the third time!
4. Talk About An Icy Encounter
In college, I hit it off with a girl and agreed to go on a first date to a school hockey game. When I met her there, I realized I had forgotten my wallet, so I had to borrow $5 from her to pay for my ticket. Not a great start, and I could tell I had dug myself an early hole. Then, once we sat down, we realized that neither of us liked hockey at all.
I have no idea why we agreed to meet there, but we were both totally uninterested in the game. We started talking about other things we were into, and I mentioned that I liked board games. She said, “You sound like my grandma.” At that point, it was clear that neither of us was into this at all, but it was the first period of a hockey game that she had paid 10 whole dollars for.
We sat there and stonily watched the rest of the game. Afterward, we said, “Let’s hang out sometime,” and then never messaged each other again. Here comes the twist. A few semesters later, my friend called me up all excited about a new girl he was dating. He wanted me to come to his apartment and meet her. I walk in, and he’s sitting on the couch with his arm around the very same hockey-hating girl.
I immediately grabbed my wallet, handed her $5, and said, “Thank God! I’ve been looking for you for two years!” She laughed, and things went all right after that.
5. The Architect Should Be Fired
A guy approached me at a coffee shop and we ended up hitting it off and talking all night. A week later, we had our first date at my place so I could cook him dinner. I lived in a small one-bedroom apartment and the bathroom door was right next to the kitchen. He excused himself and proceeded to take the loudest, and what I presumed to be, the most massive BM this universe has ever seen.
The sounds of the toilet carnage still echo in my nightmares. I didn’t mention that I heard the whole event and we went about our evening. After dinner, we got into my bed so we could watch a movie. 30 minutes into it, I needed to use the restroom, so I got out of the bed…to reveal that I had unknowingly started my period and left a noticeable pool of blood where I was sitting.
He helped me change the sheets. Anyway, we’ve been married a year now and he still takes the nastiest dumps known to mankind.
6. Anything But A “Happy” Hour
I met a guy at a concert who asked me out to dinner the next weekend. He gives me the address, but I get there and it’s an apartment building. I call him to say I think he gave me the wrong address and he said, “Nope! You’re driving.” He has me take us to an Applebee’s because they have the cheapest happy hour. This is exactly what he said.
We have one drink and he eats potato wedges by himself. When I drove him back, he asked me where my overnight bag was. I said, “I’m not staying the night, and thanks for the beverage.” He turned savage in an instant. He took my keys out of my ignition and told me to go upstairs. I told him I will start screaming and call the authorities, which was the only thing that made him back down.
He threw the keys in the front seat as he got out, telling me I was missing out on “hot tub time.”
7. You Had One Job
I went to the bathroom and asked my date to watch my coat. I came back and my coat was gone. It had my cellphone, wallet, and keys in it. Turns out, the guy was too busy chatting up the bartender and hadn’t even seen what happened. We had to uber back to his house so he could get his truck and drive me home. I had to wake my roommates up to let me in.
I had no ID, cash, or way of contacting anyone for days. I ended up tracking down the guy who took it but only got back my phone; he threw out my wallet, keys, and coat. Most expensive and worst first date ever!
8. Some People Aren’t Worth The Fuss
I started a new job, and met this super cute guy at work. He had a previous girlfriend who he broke up with about six months before we met. She would sometimes randomly come into the shop, and he would always tell her that she couldn’t be there, that they had been broken up for months, and she needed to leave him alone. Anyway, he and I started talking and flirted for several months.
After about three months, he finally asked me on a date. We go out to dinner, and he’s just so sweet and cute and adorably awkward; I really liked him. After dinner, he invited me back to his place to talk. I agreed, and we just chilled at his apartment talking, and talking. I was sitting on one sofa and he was sitting on the other. Then my nightmare began.
All of a sudden, there was pounding on his door. He calmly gets up and locks it, and I hear a female yell, “Did you just lock the door on me?!” It was the ex. He’s calmly asking her to please leave through the door. Then the front window slides open, and she sticks her head in and starts screaming at him. At this point, he’s still calmly asking her to leave.
She then CLIMBS IN THROUGH THE WINDOW and I see this HUGE woman and I thought I was about to get hit. She went ballistic and started tearing down pictures in the living room. Then she moved to the bedroom and I could hear her screaming, throwing things, breaking stuff, all the while my date was standing in the doorway of his room trying to get her to stop.
He never raised his voice, and it seemed like this wasn’t the first time this happened. The neighbor came over, but she didn’t do anything except stand next to me in the front doorway in shock. Meanwhile, we can hear things escalating with her in the bedroom. He calmly walks in the bedroom, and after a minute or so he walks out of the bedroom with her in a bear hug, guiding her out of his house. It was far from over at this point.
She then went and laid down in the courtyard, rolling around in the grass, crying and screaming, while the three of us (me, date, neighbor) just stood there for a minute. My date then said he was going to call her cousin to come get her, but before he could make the call, the cousin walked up. The cousin brought the girl there and was waiting in the car the whole time!
I sat with my date and we kind of processed what just happened, which is when his neighbor confirmed for me that this is not the first time, and I encouraged him to call the authorities. I eventually left and called him when I got home to see if he called the police. He did, but not to report what happened, but so they would do a welfare check on her to make sure she was okay.
9. Pure Confusion
I took a girl out for the first date for dinner, and she showed up in a dirty T-shirt. She ordered a lot of food and ate open-mouthed. She then starts talking about her fiancé, her child that she did not know who the daddy was, and then, she farted. Like she leaned over and pushed one out. Just as I thought it was bad enough, she then asked me if I had any blow.
When I said no, she asked if I knew where to score some. She then told me she had to be careful because she was out on parole. There. Was. No. Second. Date.
10. A Steep Climb
I matched with a cute girl who likes to go climbing and we have good chat. I suggested we go to a climbing gym rope and hang out. But she doesn’t have a car, so I need to pick her up. I’m not thrilled but whatever. I meet her and, well, it’s not her. Or it is her from the profile, but maybe from 5-8 years and a kid ago? Something like that.
I’m tempted to call it off but I’m too much of a softie, and she says she made cookies. As it happens, I love cookies. We head off to the small local gym. We arrive, walk the 10-minute approach, and the conversation is still fine but I’m really wary now. I resolve to just have a nice time and have some fun, and just learn from the experience.
She’s perfectly nice but I’m seeing red flags. At the crag, she says she borrowed her friend’s shoes and isn’t sure they’ll fit. Same with the harness. Uh oh. Well, they do fit, so I rig the anchor and we start climbing on a nice easy wall for a warm-up. Except that she can’t climb. Fine, okay, whatever. We’re still chatting as she works on the off-ground move, and then just bursts into tears. Then the whole shocking truth comes out.
Turns out that it’s HER SISTER’S DATING PROFILE and that’s who she borrowed the stuff from, and that HER HUSBAND DOESN’T KNOW SHE’S ON DATING APPS. I find all of this out amid tears and so does everyone else there who can overhear it. Some very awkward talk therapy later, I drop her back at her house and she leaves me the cookies as an apology. And they were store-bought.
11. Parents Have Friends Too
I was set up by a friend’s girlfriend. She showed me a picture and said sure. The girl was good-looking and I liked the girl’s other friends that I had met. She couldn’t be too bad, right? I call her and set up the day and time for pickup at her house. I arrive to pick her up and there she is with her parents and brother sitting around the kitchen table just talking.
I get a bad vibe from everyone but her when she introduces me. On the way to dinner, I mention the tension I felt from them all. She says it’s because she just broke up with her boyfriend a few weeks before. Her family loved him and they were all upset with her dating someone else. She said maybe they’ll get over it and like me once they get to know me.
Later on, I ask about her brother. No brothers. OK, cousin? No boy cousins that she is close to. So…what about the guy with her parents when I picked her up? That was her ex. There to have dinner with her parents.
12. In Her Defense, It Was Dark
I had a dinner date with a much younger woman who was extremely aggressive. After our first date, I was dropping her off and had intended only to give her a thank-you peck on the cheek. However, our “goodbye” moment suddenly morphed into a high school-like make-out session during which she started, shockingly, to grope me.
My two-seater car was dark and cramped and I was wearing a suit and winter overcoat, but I nevertheless was extremely surprised to feel her hand navigating south of my belt. Suddenly she squeezed hard and, with sheer delight and fire in her dimly lit eyes, delightedly exclaimed that I had “an enormous friend.” But she didn’t know what she was actually touching.
In reality, she was squeezing a single large roll of my lower belly! For the first and last time in my life, I glanced at my pretend wristwatch and told her that I had to leave due to the late hour and an early morning meeting. I couldn’t imagine her reaction and disappointment had our date developed any further as I am, at best, average.
13. Open And Honest Isn’t Always Best
I met a girl at a friend’s wedding and we went on a date a month later. She started disclosing way too much info for a first date, including some very personal stuff. She said that she wanted the first time we kissed to be on the altar when we would get married. I’m not religious by any stretch of the imagination.
Then we went back to my place and through five walls, I heard her perform what can only be described as a three-ring circus of bowel movements. A month later she invited me to a Halloween party and said she was dressing up as a sexy Bruce Willis. HARD PASS.
14. So Uncomfortable
A person I was dating invited me to his parents’ house for the afternoon. He wanted to introduce me to them and show me the house he grew up in. I thought it was super sweet and had no problems going. He was also in the middle of moving and needed to pick up a few things, so it really didn’t seem that unusual to me. Yeah…we got there and it was awful.
His entire family was there. They traveled from hours away, too. This was not just meeting the parents, it was meeting the ENTIRE family. Even worse? At some point, this lunatic lied and told his parents that he had proposed. We had been dating TWO months. I spent the entire afternoon dumbfounded and just playing along.
We were two hours from home and I had no cell service, and no way to leave at all. We ended up spending the afternoon brainstorming wedding ideas and planning an Alaskan honeymoon that his parents planned to gift us. His brother even called to say congratulations! We drove back to his apartment in silence. When we got there, I got in my car and left.
I didn’t even bother grabbing my stuff. Weirdest experience ever. I have no idea how he broke it to his parents that we weren’t getting married
15. An Odd Thing To Do
I went over to a boy’s apartment who I had hung out with a few times already to watch a movie. In the middle of the movie, he stuck his finger in my belly button. We weren’t even cuddling. Just randomly turns towards me and puts his finger in my belly button. I said to him, “Get your finger out of my belly button?” To which he responded by making a weird noise similar to an adult using baby talk and saying, “Coo, coo,” while wiggling his finger still inside my belly button.
I left immediately, never talked to him again, and my friends still refer to the situation as belly button boy.
16. He Was Not Trying At All
We went to dinner and he started chatting up the waitress. He was interrupting me every time the waitress came over and talking to her for a few minutes instead. After a couple of times, I just pulled my phone out and started scrolling and he complained when he noticed I was on my phone. Cue a lecture about my generation.
He was only six years older than me. Then he got mad when I wouldn’t get intimate in the parking lot. I ended up going back inside the restaurant and calling a friend to pick me up. Dude’s car was still sitting there when I left. Maybe he went back for the waitress.
17. What Friends Are For
I was 21 and met a guy at my summer job who was 20. He was a super sweet guy and we got along great when we worked the same shifts together. Eventually he asked me out on a date Saturday night, and I said sure. He said we would go out to dinner, hang out around town, etc. I was really excited because he seemed like a great guy and I never went on many dates.
I pull up to his house and he comes out with three other guys. They all jump in my car and I’m like, “Oh, hello?” And they said they wanted to have a party that night and started directing me around to all the local liquor stores so I could buy things for them. I was a shy, self-conscious girl with low self-esteem and I was always a people pleaser who didn’t stand up for myself, so I obliged.
I drove these little dinks around town, picking up drinks for them while they sat in the car, feeling like a complete and utter idiot the whole time. But the worst was yet to come. When we got back to my “friend’s” house and I parked and started taking off my seatbelt, they started laughing at me. “Who said you were invited?” I was totally non-confrontational so I just said, okay, see you later.
They hopped out of my car, took the drinks with them, and I drove home, totally burning in embarrassment. Once I got home, I told my roommate what had happened. She was enraged and immediately got them busted for underage drinking.
18. A Series Of Unfortunate Events
I went on a date with this guy who asked me out to get breakfast. He decided that a fast-food place was a suitable place to go. First of all, he was an incredibly irresponsible driver; he was on his phone the whole time and would speed regularly and I think he even drove through a red light. All this to not even go in because he didn’t want to pay for $3 parking.
So, we went back to his house. He was living with three other roommates (all girls) and his room was in the basement. Anyways, he was bragging all morning about how he cleaned his room just for me but when I got there, it was hardly clean and he had set out three adult magazines on his dresser for display. Despite being uncomfortable, I thought, “Well it’s already been this long, better finish the date.”
Bad idea. He puts on a Western-style TV show without checking what I’d like and cuddles up next to me. He didn’t smell the best and he kept rubbing my arm in some kind of affectionate way. He also kept asking me heavy questions and stuff about my ex. We finish an episode and I’m determined to get out of his place as quick as possible.
But before I go, he stops me and asks me out to dinner for another date. I refuse (obviously as I wasn’t having a good time) and his last trying words were, “I would have paid.”
19. A Big “No Thanks”
After a couple of rounds of drinks, my date started crying and it got visibly worse throughout the night. It was clear she was not over her ex and especially not ready to be in the dating scene. She excused herself for 20 minutes to the restroom and came back looking somewhat better, but a couple of moments later it all started again. I was just awkwardly sitting there and was getting stares from people.
I eventually ended the night, told her to go home and rest, and that it was all ok. She apologized and even texted me the next day asking for a redo but I politely refused and wished her well. I thought that was kind, but her reaction stunned me. She then had audacity to be upset about that and texted me a whole rant. I didn’t even bother responding.
20. What A Winner
I showed up to a date with a guy who looked nothing like his pictures. I don’t know if they were really good angles or super old. He was also covered in tattoos that looked like a kid had drawn them on and was very proudly showing them off by wearing a string vest. Whatever, I thought, I’m not superficial, so I decide to give him a chance.
He proceeds to begin the date by telling me he lied. He doesn’t have a job; he collects unemployment and he saved some especially for this date. No judgment on being unemployed, but a pretty big lie. He spent all his money within half an hour and then expected me to buy the rest of his drinks. Trying to make conversation, I asked him what he does with his time.
Turns out he’s “a Mexican wrestler, with masks and stuff.” I kid you not. Eventually, when it had been long enough that it was polite to leave, I made an excuse and he insisted on walking me to my bus. I made it clear I didn’t need him to, and to make sure he gets his own bus. As my bus showed up, he declares he’s missed his and wants to come home with me.
He launches himself at me to kiss me. I dodged and hopped on the bus in a panic and left him behind as he shouted at me, calling me a dirty tease. Worst date ever.
21. At Least There Was A Discount
He’s late, but only about 20 minutes, so I just brush it off. We get in the car and I notice he’s extra animated and talkative, but chalk it up to nerves. I ask him where we’re going and he tells me Chili’s because his friend works there and will give us a discount. I’m a little overdressed for that, but I’ll roll with it. We get there, sit at the bar, and he immediately orders.
He gets a shot and a cocktail, an appetizer, and his meal. Before our meal comes, he’s finished his shot, plus two cocktails. Throughout our meal, he’s talking nonstop to his bartender friend while slamming drinks. His friend tries to include me in the conversation several times but my date would just talk over me or barely let me finish my statement before raucously carrying on.
Finally, it’s time to go so we get the bill and he tells his friend to just split it down the middle, even though all I had was a tea and then a dollar appetizer. I’m pretty annoyed at this point, but just want to get out of there so I pay the 40-dollar tab. I look over and notice that he only left a small tip, even though his friend gave him a serious discount.
As a bartender myself, this was just beyond insulting, so I throw a 20 on top of the 15 I’d already tipped. I offered to drive back because of how much he’d had to drink, but he seemed totally unfazed by the copious number of substances he’d imbibed and opted to drive himself. He talked my ear off the entire drive, while I gripped the door handle the whole way home.
We park in front of my house and he leans in, I thought for a kiss, so I instinctively pulled back. Turns out he was just reaching for the glove compartment for his coke while asking me if I partake. I tell him that’s not my thing and he asks where we’re going after this. I tell him I’m pretty tired and have a ton of homework so I’m calling it a night.
He proceeds to sit in my driveway for 20 minutes doing blow and as soon as he’s gone, I practically ran to my little neighborhood bar that was about a block away.
22. Seems Like The Wrong Approach
One of the worst dates I’ve been on was with this guy from an internet dating site. We hit it off fine online, and decided to meet in a coffee shop in the middle of the city. We figured if we liked each other, we would go to a nice restaurant nearby. Well, he’s super awkward in person. It looked like he didn’t try to look nice at all or even shower.
I try to just talk the normal topics and when I mentioned I was a nurse he’s like, “Oh, aren’t you guys basically custodians?” I wasn’t sure if he was making a bad joke or not. I decided to ignore it and I mentioned how excited I am to finally start my dream job in a new city. He then says, “Wow, I can’t believe your dream was to get coffee for doctors!”
At this point, I get up to leave. He tries to stop me, and then I made the perfect comeback. I told him, “You are not NEARLY hot enough to get away with negging.” I went across the street to the food hall and proceeded to have a grand time by myself.
23. Trivial Concerns
He picked a bar across from his house so he could drink as much as he wanted. He brought a friend. He spoke mostly to his friend about sports. He talked throughout the bar trivia, rudely. He didn’t know any trivia answers (my most petty point of contention). He asked me to drive him home, despite living a three-minute walk away.
THEN after all that, HE TRIED TO KISS ME when I dropped him off. I blocked his number after he got out of the car.
24. Ah, Young Love
I went out with a girl when we were probably young teens. We went to see Inception. She gets up to go to the bathroom, but doesn’t come back for a long time. Eventually, I go look for her, and the guy behind the concession stand looks at me and gives me the most pitying look I’ve ever received, and points around the corner. I can’t unsee what I discovered.
Following his direction, I found her making out with another guy. I should have walked out then, but instead, I went back to my seat to watch the rest of the movie. She returned and asked me to fill her in on the last hour. Also, because that wasn’t enough, after the movie I wasn’t sure what bus to take home, and she pointed me to the wrong bus.
25. Too Much HGTV
She looked nothing like her picture, not ugly, just completely different. She picked the worst restaurant in town, which I looked past because everyone has different tastes. We came back to my house and she complained about me not showing affection or touching her, so I started touching her and then she got mad. The final straw was when she decided she didn’t like my house, which I had just bought and was proud of.
She immediately wanted to go to the hardware store to buy stuff to start remodeling. It was by far my worst and weirdest date and I hope she found a house to remodel.
26. Tolls Must Be Paid
I had been “dating” a girl online for eight months in my early 20s. We live in different countries (America and Canada), so it was difficult to make plans to meet and have a real date. We finally decided to meet up on New Year’s in her area. Now, I had never been outside the country by myself or had any real travel experience outside of family vacations growing up.
I drove up there and made it to the border with relatively no issues other than finding out tolls still were cash only on my way through. This was the start of my troubles. I had to stop at a shady-looking ATM to pay for the tolls, and my bank unbeknownst to me decided to freeze my bank card for possible fraud after I made the withdrawal.
I get into Canada and my phone lost service because even though my company operated in Canada too, the towers just didn’t work with their American counterparts. I was pretty lost driving through the city and around the suburbs looking for the coffee shop we planned to meet at. I arrive over an hour late with no way to contact my date.
I sat for 20 minutes desperately trying to connect to the WIFI to get any sort of message out. Thankfully she was still waiting around the area and still wanted to meet. We spent an hour just talking and making plans for what to do the rest of the day, starting with checking into the hotel. I had reserved a very nice room in a highly rated hotel around the corner.
Hotels need a card on file and do a $100 hold on it in order for you to check into your room. I tried using my bank card at first, declined. Tried using my credit card, declined. I had no other cards and they would not take my date’s card as her name wasn’t on the room. My phone did not work either so I couldn’t call my bank’s support line.
Date’s phone wouldn’t connect to the numbers either. It was now late afternoon on New Year’s Eve. We have no hotel room, no money, and it was freezing outside. We still had the rest of the weekend like we planned. She is an angel though and paid for everything, including food, gas, and a hotel room. Somehow, we’re still together six years later.
27. Words Mean Different Things To Different People
We went to see The Italian Job, and he talked through the entire thing, all ridiculous smug nonsense about how he would have been better at being a criminal than they were, if he really wanted to. Afterward, I wanted to go home but he drove me to his house anyway. I had no idea where I was, so I just sat and waited for him to get bored of me and take me home.
It took hours. He got into his hot tub and talked endlessly about how smart and rich and awesome he was while I just sat there making noncommittal noises, literally trying to be as boring as possible. Finally, he agreed to drive me home. He tried to kiss me in the car and I flinched away. He told me it was a shame I was too immature for him. Yeah, what a shame.
28. Dodged A Bullet
I got set up on a blind date by some friends several years before my wife and I started dating. The date was early September and we met in a restaurant in the city. It was a nice place, the kind where the wait staff wear dress shirts, ties, etc. I was in a nice suit and tie, while she showed up to our date in jeans, flip flops, and a hoodie.
I jokingly said something along the lines of, “I’m assuming they didn’t tell you this place is sort of snooty?” She goes, “They did. I didn’t care. I ain’t shaving my legs and putting on some fancy dress for some guy who I don’t even know if I like, let alone if I’m willing to let him between my legs.” I just stared at her in disbelief. But she was just getting started.
She then said, “I mean, you seem nice and all. But I ain’t in the mood to do all that work when I can just go home and do it myself.” At this point, I asked her to keep her voice down because she was getting quite loud and she goes, “WHY DO YOU WANT ME TO KEEP MY VOICE DOWN?! YOU AFRAID PEOPLE WILL HEAR ME TALKING ABOUT GOING HOME AND PLEASING MYSELF WITH MY VIBRATOR INSTEAD OF LETTING YOU COME BACK AND DO ME?!”
I mean, I get it in some ways. It’s hard being a woman. But lady….we just met. I just stood up, walked over to the waiter, paid for the drink I had while waiting, apologized to them for her outbursts, and said, “Blind date… I’m not sticking around.” I did hear from our mutual friends that she later got married to some guy, attacked him on their anniversary a few years later, and is now behind bars.
29. Broadcasting Her Business
I was on a lunch date with a recently divorced woman, in a low booth at the restaurant, which was closely packed with tables. She was one of those naturally loud people. She went on a long rant about how she was tired of hopping into bed with every guy she dated, she wasn’t doing that anymore, and from now on she wasn’t ever going to sleep with a guy until they were engaged.
30. We Love A Dog Person
My first Tinder date ever, I met this man for a drink and ended up at his place nearby. I asked where the toilet is and he responded with, “Oh you’re not going to use the facilities unless I wash you.” Genuinely thought it was a joke and said I won’t be needing his company or any sort of assistance when it comes to going to the loo.
I came back out and asked for water, and he pointed towards a dog bowl on the floor and told me to use it. “Jesus, what the heck, man?!” must’ve been close to what I was thinking right then. No kink-shaming, here but perhaps try initiating some sort of conversation about your puppy play preferences PRIOR to trying to force your kinks on your date?!
Anyway, he obviously wasn’t getting any less creepy but it was getting very late and I was stupidly young and naive so for some reason I ended up sleeping over and leaving in the morning. He wanted me to put a collar on me for the night although I’d already declined the bowl and whatever other suggestions he was making about that.
31. The Dutch Have The Right Idea
I matched with a girl on Tinder, and she was picky with the restaurants we were going to meet at. I just let her choose. I had to take an hour on transit to get there, and I reached the place 15 minutes late due to my bus stopping too long at stops. She wasn’t in the restaurant, and when I messaged her, she chastised me and started hurling insults, saying I didn’t value her time.
Still thinking it’s my mistake, I apologized to her and told her to come back. She does, and the minute after exchanging pleasantries she instantly ordered $90-100 worth of food even though we were both students at the time. To keep the cost low, I ordered myself a small salad. The rest of the date was bland with her giving one-word replies with a frowny face.
I lost interest and patience. At the end, the bill was $150 and I asked her if she could split, even though mine was only $20. She created a scene and insulted me in front of everyone. The kicker was she ate only 50% of food she ordered and tried to get a takeaway. At that point, I said, “No freaking way,” and took the food home for myself.
32. Gotta Have A Sense Of Humor
I met a girl through a dating site and we agreed to meet up for dinner. I learned very quickly that this girl had absolutely no sense of humor whatsoever. I don’t even think she cracked a smile the entire night. The date just got more and more painful as the night went on. So at one point during it, we were talking about online dating.
She told me about a friend of hers who went out on a first date with a guy online. She said this crazy guy fell absolutely in love with her friend and said he wanted to marry her. So, I said, “Oh, well, I guess I shouldn’t have picked up this engagement ring on the way here, then!” She just stared at me blankly and said “That’s not funny.”
33. Wrong Attitude
When we ordered drinks, she wanted a drink with some brand I’ve never heard of and when they didn’t have it, she gave the server some attitude. When we get the food, she asked for ranch for a pasta dish because obviously, they didn’t bring ranch in the first place because that’s kind of weird. So the waitress is like, “Yes no problem, be right back!”
And this girl replied, “Be fast please so I can eat it hot.” After the waitress left, I asked her if she was doing okay because that was kind of rude and it would be fine if she wanted to go home. She basically told me that she can talk to them however she wants because she was paying them. When the waitress came back, I asked for the check and a box and left.
34. Lock Up Your Valuables
I was on vacation in Miami and met a girl at bar. We went on a date the following day and ended up both in the hotel pool at 2 am, as one does. She told me she needed to pee and grabbed the room key. This was my absolute worst mistake. After waiting 30 minutes, I went to lobby to get a towel and a room key. When I got in, she’d taken everything.
Phone, suitcase, clothes, money, passport…everything. My friend picked me up at the airport in my sorry state, and he couldn’t stop laughing for a year. The thought of me in Miami with nothing…
35. What A Mess
I met this guy online a few years ago and we chatted semi-regularly, mostly about films and other interests we had. We lived in different towns so the idea of a date was never brought up, but I enjoyed talking to him. Then this one time I was going to visit his hometown, so I messaged him. He agreed to meet and even offered a place to stay for the night.
We met at the train station, and I immediately noticed he was wearing dirty clothes and hadn’t washed his hair in probably days. His home also reflected this untidiness. I had nowhere else to go, though, and it was getting late so I decided to just power through it. We mainly just watched old episodes of television shows in growing awkwardness.
He had bought some vino and after having two glasses he became very touchy. He started sitting closer to me and offered the worst shoulder massage of my life (it simply hurt A LOT). I tried my best at maintaining a distance and then straight-up had to tell him I wasn’t ready for anything when he said he was trying to kiss me and “I was making it very difficult for him to do so.”
I said it’s just best if we go to sleep and proceeded to remove my makeup. Then he really embarrassed himself. He said he had never seen a woman do this and he legit said “ew.” After that, I thought it couldn’t get any worse but…he had lied about having a guest bed. I ended up sleeping fully clothed in a dusty floor after rejecting his cuddle attempts and left the next morning as soon as the sun rose.
36. Please Stop Talking
I met this guy on the internet. He seemed like a cool guy and I agreed to meet him for dinner and drinks. Things were going well until we went to a bar. His first comment upon sitting down was, “Sorry I didn’t expect this place to be such white trash,” and kept mean-mugging some ladies sitting at the bar. I asked what he meant by that.
He said the ladies at the bar were too old to be wearing low-cut shirts and bedazzled jeans. Now, these beautiful ladies were not old, and even then, who cares what they were wearing? I was also wearing a low-cut shirt, to which I pointed at puzzlingly, and he replied, “Yeah, but you’re young and cute.” I stayed a little longer and he just kept showing me how much of an angry person he was.
The last straw was that he kept pressuring me to take shots when I didn’t want to, then chastised me when I told him I was feeling tipsy. That’s when I got my purse and told him I was leaving. I guess he didn’t think I had the gall, but it felt nice hearing him yell, “Are you serious?!! You’re leaving?!” I laughed as I got into my car.
37. The Wrong Route
She was working as a DJ. I met up with her after her show and we were heading to a diner to get some food and catch up. We had to cut through a nasty, dangerous part of Philadelphia, and I had a brand-new car with a manual transmission. For some reason, the clutch failed and wouldn’t engage. The car was stalled in Philly’s murder capital.
I’m now trying to find a tow that would even come to this part of the city at 3 am. But her actions were worse. She bails. her parting words being, “you’re hot and all but I’m not dying just because you’re good-looking.”
38. Misplaced Guilt
My date showed up 35 minutes late to the restaurant. We had mediocre conversation. I told her I was legally separated, awaiting the final divorce, but still sharing a house with my ex while the ex was closing on her new property. By the way, our divorce was amicable. She lost it on me, telling me I was a terrible person. Fine. If that’s not your bag, no biggie.
I walked her to her car since this wasn’t going anywhere. When I saw it, my eyes went wide. Her car was filled with trash. Like, filled, except the driver’s seat. She then contacted me a few days later and said she changed her mind and wanted to go on a date. So, we set one up. She no-showed, but called me and said she felt a little guilty because she was STILL MARRIED. She’s a divorce attorney now.
39. Don’t Play Games
He met me at PF Chang’s (which he picked) and complained about the cost of everything. When I offered to go Dutch, he got weirdly offended. He gave me a lengthy analysis of why I was “so hot” but also included my flaws despite my efforts to change the subject. By the time our food came he was sweating so profusely, his shirt was soaked through at the armpits and collar.
It was a gray shirt, which made things exponentially worse. He negged me constantly and I called him out on it and asked if he was trying some pick-up artist moves. He fumbled with an explanation before fessing up that he was trying the techniques on me. He insisted on paying (complaining the whole time) and walked me out to my car.
He was trembling pretty badly all throughout the date, and every time I noticed, it worsened. I politely said thank you and he went in pretty aggressively for a kiss. Like a surprise attack. I dodged and said that I do not kiss on the first date and he said, “Aw, come on!” And tried to kiss me again. I shielded my face and got into my car and drove away.
40. All Business
I’ve known this guy for almost a year now, we’re not really good friends or anything, more of casual acquaintances. A couple of months ago he started messaging me, first on Facebook, then by text (he got my number from a friend, he didn’t ask me for it) and most of the time I responded just to be polite. He’s nice enough, but not really my type.
When he started dropping hints about “meeting up,” I just turned him down and said I’m busy, or we’d just catch up the next time there’s a gathering with our friends, that sort of thing. Fast-forward to last week and he asked me out again, which is the sixth time in the past two months. I finally decided to at least give him a chance, what could go wrong, and who knows what I’m missing and all that. I had no idea what I was in for.
Worst-case scenario it would be awkward, but we’ve talked more than a few times so I was thinking it can’t be that bad and we could actually have a pleasant time. Date night comes and we have dinner. I was certain at this point that it’s really not going to take off. But I was having a pleasant enough time and he was a total gentleman and not bad to talk to.
The bill comes, and I was going to suggest a quick coffee before heading home. However, he said that he’d made an appointment for us and we need to rush off to make it in time. I was a bit intrigued and excited; was it a movie, or a show, a play? So we hurry off…and he took me to a high-end luxury mall with an attached wing for offices…
It was a weight-loss center. He explains that he’s part of this company and he wanted to introduce me to their products which would “revolutionize” my lifestyle and make me healthier I’ve ever been in my entire life. I was totally stunned at this point so I was just nodding like an idiot the whole time we were walking inside. My brain hadn’t caught up.
After I flat-out said that I’m not interested in any of the products and frankly don’t believe that I need health supplements, they started on the seconnd phase: introducing me to the “business” aspect of it. Basically, it was a networking model of business where you not only sell the products, you also recruit people to sell them and they would be under your “team.”
They rhapsodized about the wonders of the product, how easy it is to sell, and how much money I could be making because they could tell I have the right kind of “personality” and “network” for it. Registration was “only” $1,000, and it was consumable in products. So, yes, a pyramid scheme. I wish I could say I flipped the table and screamed at them.
But no…right after the “talk” I just said I should head home since it was getting a bit late. The guy actually messaged me to say that he had a good time and he hopes to see me again. And that I should reconsider their products and the “business opportunity.”
41. An Absolute Spectacle
She took me to a Kumdo lesson, which is a Korean sword fighting sport. I thought that was cool, but it was an advanced class and I made somewhat of a fool of myself, but all in good fun. Only…it turned out that she was bringing me there because she wanted me to be part of a documentary about foreigners in Korea. My looking like a fool was broadcast nationwide.
We then visited the grandmaster’s house for makgeolli and the film crew started interviewing me. They were basically focusing on my relationship with the girl I was going out with. They didn’t seem to understand it was a first date. So here I am trying to answer awkward questions without embarrassing both of us on national television.
42. Not A Relaxing Idea
This guy I worked with kept asking me out, and I continuously said no. After about a year, I started to feel bad for the guy and said yes to a date. He asked me to lunch so I figured it could be a quick easy “date.” He picked me up and took me to Wendy’s…where he made me order off the dollar menu…and I could only get two things.
After this very quiet lunch where he hunkered over his chicken nuggets like I would take them, he said he needed to stop at Walmart. We go in and he heads to the lotion section. Strange, but whatevs. He then grabs two scented lotions and asks which one I like better. Being nice I pick one, and he responds with, “Great! I’ll use this for your massage!”
43. At Least It Was A New Experience
I had a guy take me to a weird religious thing. He was uber-Catholic and thought I could benefit from letting Christ into my cold, cold, cold Jewish heart. So I go. I’m open-minded. I’m only half-Jewish and have always been interested in other religions. It was going “okay” until the priest (the speaker of the night) told us a hypothetical tale of our brother who is paralyzed.
We have the ability to cure him with stem cells, and he will walk as soon as the “transaction” is complete. “How many of you here would purchase these stem cells and allow your brother to walk again?” My hand shoots up. I look around the room… nothing. No hands. I then notice everybody staring at me. Including my date and the priest.
I was blessed out like nobody’s business and was told I was an embarrassment to my date. Good times.
44. There’s An Easier Way To Ask Someone To Leave
The absolute worst date I’ve ever had was the woman who turned up to the pub with literally no money, expecting me to buy her drinks and dinner. I wouldn’t have minded if she’d have told me beforehand, but this was completely out of the blue. So anyway, we sat there making awkward conversation, or at least I tried to start a conversation.
I told her about my life, asked her questions. She was too busy texting and phoning her friends to really take notice. So eventually we did get talking, and then out of nowhere, she told me that she had abandoned her dog. Because she felt like it. That was definitely the final straw for me, and I just upped and left and avoided all contact after.
45. Diversify Your Portfolio
I found out she could not do anything without being stoned. We had met at a shaved ice dessert place to which she arrived late, later confessing she had to rush her bong toke and missed the bus. When she arrived, it felt like every conversation led back to her one and only passion. I’m a partaker myself but jeeze girl, have some oxygen once in a while. Also doesn’t help that she tried to steal my jacket.
46. A Cozy Night In
I showed up at her parents’ house to pick her up, thinking we were going for drinks in the neighborhood. She opens up the door wearing sweatpants, trainers, and a hoodie, as if she just got back from football practice. I was pretty well dressed so she decided to change into something else. She says I can just wait in the living room with her parents.
Not that bad, we have some small talk and I expect to be leaving soon anyways. She then shows up wearing the next less than casual outfit and sits down in the living room as well, saying nothing as she just gets on her phone. She’s doing nothing but texting whilst I’m left talking with her parents. I mean, I didn’t expect a date with them.
At this point, I don’t know what to expect anymore. Luckily, I was able to convince her to go out after a bit and we end up having drinks…turns out, she wasn’t my type.
47. Not Everyone Lies About Their Age
I saw a girl on Tinder, 21, empty bio, couple of nice pics, and I think, why not? I swipe right, it’s a match. We talk for a day and decide to meet. The first question she asks is, “So which grade are you in? I’m in ninth.” My bio said 21 as well, which I was at the time. Because, you know, I didn’t lie about my age. I couldn’t run out of there fast enough.
48. Should Have Rescheduled
A coworker set me up on a blind date with her younger sister, and I reluctantly agreed. The date was a movie and a trip to Wendy’s, nothing special. Turns out she had her wisdom teeth removed that morning, so her face was all swollen and she kept having to remove bloody bandages from her mouth. She didn’t understand why I didn’t want to make out with her after the movie.
49. She’s Twenty-Four
I met a girl online. Everything seemed okay and the conversations were good, so a few days later we decided to meet for coffee and go for dinner later. I show up at the cafe about 45 minutes early and order a coffee, intending to read for a bit. While I’m reading, I notice an older fellow staring and taking far too much interest in me before leaving.
Odd, but okay. I continue to read until I text the girl that I’m already at the cafe. Shortly after, the odd older fellow comes back in one entrance, and this sets off my Spidey sense. I’m making my way to the other entrance when my date catches my arm to say hi. I tell her we should step out for a minute since I’m getting a bad vibe from this guy.
She asks which one, so I describe him. Her answer floored me. It’s her dad, doing advanced recon for her dates…she was 24 years old. I was a bit sketched out at that, but thought maybe she had some bad dating history so that possibly made sense. I meet her dad, and he explains that they wanted to make sure I was who I said I was and to enjoy the date.
He leaves and she says being an only child has its downsides. Makes enough sense. We walk in a nearby park and decide where to go for dinner. We get to my car and she asks if I could take her home to grab a jacket before dinner, no big deal. We arrive at her place (she lives with her parents) and I talk to her mom and dad while the date grabs a jacket.
They seem like nice, but overbearing parents. Date calls me back to her room to meet her cat, and then it started to get very creepy. The entire time I’m meeting her cat, the parents are hawking nearby, obviously eavesdropping, and it’s obvious the date is dragging her feet for some reason. I said something about getting out to dinner before the rush as I hadn’t made reservations.
Her parents, who “happened” to be walking by, ask where we were going before they start a monologue on local restaurants, which then pivots to ordering delivery/carryout and how we should just do dinner together at their place. I told them no offense, but I’d greatly prefer to dine in someplace relaxed and get to know their daughter.
They seem really resistant to this. I’m agitated and ask if this is how her dates normally go. They said, “no, normally we don’t let her go out with men, but you passed the background check and your messages to her made you seem nice and like you’d have dinner with us.” I was flabbergasted. They actually ran a background check on me.
They also read our texts, and expected me to have dinner with two additional people I hardly knew when I was expecting a date. I told them that will absolutely not work for me, and that they are being extremely over-the-top with their expectations and precautions. I left. Later, received a barrage of text messages and calls to the general sentiment of “you were supposed to be better than this.”
50. Interesting Date Activity
This was the third date. I had taken some time off from dating to work on myself, but this lady basically asked me out. That has happened to me before, but it isn’t some kind of super common occurrence. So, I felt flattered and thought I would be a jerk for not accepting. She is also very attractive so…There are no crazy sparks or anything on the first date, but it was nice.
I did get a weird feeling like something was off, but I dismissed it as nerves and being a bit out of practice. I go see her the second time and have an even better time. Still no “head over heels” feelings, but it was a real nice time. She is growing on me and she seems to really dig me. Even after I gently mention some of the reasons I have been working on myself.
She says she has a surprise planned. That’s all the warning I got before the most excruciating hour of my life. We walked into a Scientology building and right into an audit. They ask a bunch of personal questions and try to get their cult hooks into you, but they don’t get as deep as they do for an individual audit. She went first and my social anxiety sort of forced me to stay.
It was surreal and I actually had to seriously consider whether or not I was on some kind of hidden camera prank show. Scientology hates to be filmed by other people though, so I was able to squash that theory. Fortunately, I had spent the last few years working on myself with therapists, processing past trauma, and all that good stuff.
I was also already fairly knowledgeable about Scientology and the “methods” they use to ensnare or “help” people. So, despite her best efforts, I’m not a Scientologist, even though I did actually consider it for a minute…