Everyone has skeletons in their closet. Some are minor tidbits about one’s past; others are deep, dark, looming secrets that can become burdensome on one’s soul. Put a kettle on, because Redditors spill the tea and share some of the darkest secrets they have carried over the years. Their stories will put any confessional to shame.
1. Secret Bedfellows
I didn't mean for it to happen, but I hooked up with my best friend's younger sister. My buddy and I shared an apartment, and he was away for the weekend. I got a knock on the door, and there she was. I was so confused as she knew her brother was away. She came in and started crying. She told me about how her boyfriend cheated on her, and they broke up. I just let her vent and gave her a hug. Then I got the shock of a lifetime.
She tried to kiss me, but I pulled away. I was like, “No way”. She said she had come there to hook up with me and that no one would ever know. In a moment of weakness and immaturity, I caved in. When I tell you it was good, it is still—to this day—the best I ever had.
We are still best friends, and he has no idea. It was a one-time thing; she used me. She ended up getting married to that same guy, and they have three kids. I am married with two college-aged kids. I saw her at her grandfather's funeral, and she gave me a wry little smile. No one will ever know, but we'll never forget.
2. Hard Act To Follow
My friend goes on and on about how many Twitch followers he has and how he’s getting so big as a streamer, etc. But there's something he doesn't know.
All those followers and viewers are me. He was so depressed that nobody was tuning in that I used a Google Workspace account and a ton of aliases to spawn Twitch accounts to follow and watch him.
It backfired completely. He keeps trying to brag about how many viewers and subscribers he has. I’m not sure how to proceed because he was pretty depressed before I created all the followers, and I am worried he’ll get depressed again if I slowly stop doing it.
3. I Wasn’t Playing It Safe
As a kid, I took an interest in learning how to pick locks. One time around age 10 or 11, I opened my father's safe in the bedroom and found a disassembled 9mm, and a box of ammo. I decided that I should try and assemble it for some idiotic reason. I got it together, and suddenly, a friend stopped by to play. We went out in the woods intending to hunt birds and such. It was a recipe for disaster.
The thing didn't fire. We thought it was out of ammo. My friend was looking at it, with the barrel pointed at him and me at various times. He said we must have used up all the rounds and gave it back to me. During the exchange, a loud bang shattered the silence.
I closed my eyes for a second, terrified of what I might see when I opened them. Luckily, it discharged into the ground. One of us could have lost our lives or been hurt miles from anywhere. I have been terrified of arms ever since. I got caught using the piece because I scratched it, trying to get leverage to assemble it. I took the punishment with no issue and considered myself and my friend lucky.
My father was a good man; he did what was right with it. Once he knew I could gain access, he got rid of it, saving me a few years later. I went to get it to take my life, and it was nowhere to be found. I have been that thankful for that ever since.
4. More Than Meets The Eye
When I was about six or seven years old, I stole a Transformer toy from a mom-and-pop store. This was back in the 80s in France. My mom would just drop me off at the store while she ran some errands. It was not considered bad parenting back then—everyone would leave kids unattended in cars or stores.
I had noticed this Transformer for a while and had really wanted it because they were all the rage back then. Now, my family wasn't exactly poor, but they definitely weren't in the habit of buying me new toys whenever I asked. It was only for Christmas, birthdays, or if my school report card was good. So I knew my mom wouldn’t buy it even if I begged; I had tried before.
I noticed that there was almost nobody in the store and that the owner was behind the register. There was no one near me, and since I was only four-feet tall, no one had a direct line of sight over the aisles. That's when the devil on my shoulder won.
I wanted to steal it. I had never taken anything before—maybe a crayon from school, but that was it. This was something around $8 or $10, which was a lot back then, especially for a seven-year-old. It was winter, and I was wearing a big puffy coat. However, the toy was in a box, not just a blistered cardboard back like most action figures.
I couldn’t just shove it inside my jacket; it was too big. Plus, it was a small store, they only had one or two units of each toy, so if one went missing, they would notice immediately, or at least that was what my young mind thought. Very quietly and very slyly, I got the box open with my tiny kid fingers and got the Transformer out. I was constantly checking if anyone was coming over.
My heart was beating as if I was committing the biggest heist. I slowly put it inside my jacket pocket. The toy was actually pretty big; I had to make sure nothing was poking out. I put the box back on the racks, hiding it behind other toys. The whole thing probably lasted 30 seconds, but it felt like an hour. Then I couldn’t just walk out.
I had to wait for my mom to pick me up, and I had no idea how long she would be. I had to stay at the scene. I randomly walked around the store, avoiding eye contact with anyone, staying away from the boys’ section, and suddenly pretending I was interested in Barbies. I was sweating.
I knew it was there in my pocket, but I couldn’t reach for it because I didn’t want to bring any attention to it. I didn’t even want to look down. Then, I saw some other kid going towards the Transformers. I thought he was going to find the empty box, but luckily he looked at other stuff. My mom finally walked in the door. I wanted to rush outside, but I had to act cool.
She started asking me questions, “I wasn’t too long? Did you see anything you like?" While I would normally drag her to show the stuff I wanted, this time, I was like, “Nah, we can go”. I was finally outside, and no one was running after me—victory! I put my hands in my pockets, and I could feel it, but it wasn’t over yet.
I had to wait until we got home. Once we got home, she put my coat on the hanger, so I had to go retrieve it later when she was busy and not paying attention. I locked myself in my room and played with it all day. I would then hide it at the bottom of my toy crate when I was done. I did that for a few days then I became less cautious.
My dad once saw me playing with it and asked where it came from because he didn’t remember buying it. I made up some story about trading it with a friend from school, and he was like, “Oh, OK”. He didn’t really care. I avoided going back to the store for almost a year after that. I told my mom I’d rather stay with her when she went to the farmers market, which made her happy.
My big childhood secret haunted me for months.
5. Sorry, Not For Me
I told my fiancée on our first date that I didn’t want or like children. I kept saying it for five years, then the worst happened.
She missed her period one month and took a pregnancy test and it was positive. I thought we'd talk about it, but she decided to keep it. Now she doesn't clean, cook, or play with the kid because she is tired, and I'm stuck with all of it. She won't even teach him to sleep without diapers because she doesn't want to wake up in the middle of the night, so I have to deal with that as well.
I love my son and would give my life for him, but my dark secret is that this life is not for me. Every day I wish for the end so I can rest and have peace.
6. The Cat Got My Tongue
When I was eight, I made the most disturbing discovery. I walked in on my 13-year-old cousin choking a small kitten with both hands. It was a horrible sight...and it was made worse when i looked up at his face. He just stood there with an unmoving expression. When he noticed me, he threatened to do the same to my mother if I didn't find him more animals to "play with". So, out of fear, I complied.
For two months, I would get him frogs, hamsters, and even my grandmother's pet bunny at one point.
Basically, any small animal just to get him to leave me alone. The ordeal stopped when he was sent to the hospital for an anaphylactic reaction to peanuts and was gone for two weeks. I never told anyone. He's 22 now and seemingly normal. He's engaged to a pleasant woman who owns three cats, though I fear for their safety.
7. No More Chances
A few people are aware that someone I was very close to took their own life. He was the kindest man who would travel two hours by train just to meet me for a cup of tea and a slice of cake. He was someone so consistently there for me. I never considered the possibility of him one day being gone because he seemed really happy. But there's something I've never told anybody.
Just before he died, in the days beforehand, he called me multiple times. I watched one of the calls ring without answering it and received a message from him, pleading that I call him when I had the chance. I had many chances, but I didn't pick up the phone. I woke up later that week to a message that, once pasted onto a Word document, took me two days to read.
He wrote to me about his life, how insignificant he felt, and how wonderful I was, and ended it with an apology. I then received an email from his mother, informing me he had jumped in front of a moving train. I've always been a caring person, and I try to do the right thing. However, for the last eight years, I've stopped keeping kind thoughts to myself.
The sole reason I check in on everyone and answer my phone is so I can keep a piece of him alive.
8. Granny’s Final Days
My grandmother was in the hospital and as visiting hours came to a close one day, I told her I'd come back to see her in the morning. Sadly, I slept through my alarm and had just minutes to make it to work. By the time I was done work, I had passed out in my car in the driveway of her house. I'll regret this forever.
The next morning she had no more brain function. I beat myself up every day, thinking I didn't get to spend those last few days with her, even though I knew nothing I could have done would have stopped her from going.
Unsplash, National Cancer Institute
9. Karma Is A Coming
I've never told anyone and I'll probably never go through with it, but I've created an elaborate plan to get rid of my horrible mother and stepfather. I’d never actually go through with it, but I would be lying if I said it didn’t play through in my head daily. They hurt me in multiple ways since I was in pre-school, and my stepdad accosted me from 14–17. They both have bad karma coming their way if it hasn’t already.
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10. A Friendly Goodbye
I have a bunch of friends...but the truth is, I hate them and i think I've hated them for some times. I've tried so hard to change my views and my ways because they don't deserve that, but I can't stand people. Their quirks and their laughs grate on my ears, and their needs are too heavy for me to want to be burdened. I find no interest in the things they like or the foods they enjoy.
The jokes they find funny seem stupid to me, and I'm exhausted from pretending to enjoy my time with them. I'm going to be moving out after being very close with all of them for the past two years, and I couldn't be happier. I'm better off keeping this weight away from people who don't deserve it.
11. College Dreams
There was this college guy from a rich family who rented a room at my family’s house...and I always fantasized about hooking up with him. He was a varsity player on my grandpa’s football college team, and his mom had moved to Australia, so he needed a place to stay. About a year or two ago, I found out the dark truth about him. My uncle told me that he moved to Australia as well, shortly after he was caught using steroids by one of my uncles.
12. A Last Wish
My girlfriend had cancer and she'd been fighting it for a long time. Things were getting worse and she was in the hospital. I had been sleeping anywhere I could for a week, and in my haze, I never noticed just how close she was to the end. That's when I made a horrifying mistake.
I thought I could go home, recharge, and come back. I woke up to her family in tears, telling me she had gone during the night. The only thing she wanted when she passed was to have me there. Instead, I wanted to sleep. It is easily my biggest regret.
13. Hidden Pain
When I was a young child, I hid in a hideaway sofa and watched—scared and crying—shaking with fear—as my young friend was hurt within an inch of her life by her parent. They didn't know I was there, since she wasn't supposed to have friends over. She told me to hide and stay quiet. If they found out, they would end her.
As soon as her dad stopped and went out of the room, and I knew he wasn't coming back, I got out. I ran up to her—and couldn't believe my eyes.
She wasn't really breathing and was very bloody. To this day, the image of her brings me to tears and has me trembling in fear and trauma. I called for help and ran to a nearby neighbor’s house. I'm sure I scared them, as I was covered with her blood and stammered to get any words out. They called the authorities and made me wait there.
They brought her out in a black bag on a bed. I didn't know what that meant as a child. I found out when the officer told me.
14. Living A Lie
I grew up in a cult. My grandmother took and alienated children from their parents, making them completely dependent on her. She’s been doing this for 45 years, and despite her advanced age, she’s still doing it. The way she does it is insidious. She'll find a young woman with personal problems and lend a helping hand. She'll even allow the girl, and kids, if she has any, and let them live with her.
They give 90% of the money they make to her to “pay the bills”, and eventually, they get sick of it and go to a woman’s shelter or stay with a friend, taking their child. Then, my grandmother calls them, begging them to think about how that lifestyle will impact their child.
They usually end up letting the kid stay with her, and they typically go back to the harmful lifestyle they were living before they met her. CPS is always involved, and they’ll usually open a case on the mother. The consequences are heartbreaking. This frequently ends up with my grandmother getting full custody of the child.
When I was three, my parents had just moved out of her house in Texas and left for Ohio. We were staying in a motel, and my father had a job as a maintenance guy at the motel to pay the fees. One day, he had a friend over and needed to use the pay phone outside to order a pizza. He left me with this friend while he went to do that.
This friend wanted my father’s job and decided to call the authorities for child abandonment to get him arrested. My father was at the pay phone about a minute’s walk away, with a direct line of sight to the motel room door. Officers took me from my loving parents, and because my grandmother was my closest blood relative, I was placed with her.
I was raised until the age of fifteen to believe that my parents never loved me and that I was incurably mentally ill to the point where I had to take medication far above the safe doses for a child my age. At age 10, I was taught to cook and clean; at age 11, there were two new kids I was responsible for looking after.
In the end, I found an old letter that accidentally fell behind the filing cabinet. It had a woman’s name on it, one I didn’t know. Something inside me told me to read that letter, so I did. It was from a woman whose child my grandmother had custody of. I continued to read.
The woman was begging my grandmother to let her see her child, even just once. It had been a year. I continued reading, and it hit me like a punch. I saw my own name right there. I had never known my parents’ names, and I finally had a clue. After figuring out that my mother not loving me was a lie, I began wondering what else was a lie.
I messaged my mom on Facebook, and now, five years and six days after that fateful day, I’m living with her and my father. My entire life up until five years ago was a lie, and I still can’t wrap my head around it.
15. An Emotional Wreck
Growing up, my single mother would physically take out her frustrations on her children. So, I spent time with four weekend foster families, two full-time foster families, two years at a boarding school, a couple of weeks at my dad's place, and a couple of years at something called an "efterskole", a type of boarding school specifically for finishing up what is essentially high school.
While all of that was bad enough, I moved to the neighboring country for a few years following my coming of age to live with my then-girlfriend. When she broke up with me, I broke.
We split up 14 years ago but since then, I haven't been able to have any kind of a relationship with a woman...friendship or romantic. Whenever a bond is being formed, it simply snaps as I subconsciously retreat out of self-preservation.
After seeing a therapist, it turns out I have rejection PTSD from not only my mother but from most of the female authority figures I've had throughout my life. I don't hate women. I just can't trust them because I'm emotionally scarred.
16. He Finally Got Exed Out
I'm happy my mom’s ex is no longer alive. The dude was a menace. He frequently had outbursts where he would destroy our apartment and threaten my siblings or my mom. Even worse, he had family and friends who totally enabled his behavior. They knew he was bad but they didn't want to have to step in and do anything about it. One day, he was having another meltdown, and my mom and siblings were hiding in my room.
I was holding the door shut while he was trying to get in, so I called the authorities. The guy blamed me for years after that and targeted me often. One day, some neighborhood boys tried to hurt me, and when I mentioned it, he convinced himself that I must've led those boys on and kept inviting them over. But that wasn't all.
I also had to take care of him when he shattered the bones in his arm and hand, and traveling nurses refused to come to our house to flush his IV. I imagine he was terrible to them too.
17. The STD And Me
I got a positive syphilis test and it landed me in the ER. I went to a clinic to get treated and was told to go to the ER because I saw flashers in my vision, which could be a sign of neurosyphilis. I have been telling friends and colleagues that I have a bad staph infection. My whole family works in the medical field, and I have been too ashamed to tell them.
There's no way that I could make up a story about a random infection and have them believe it. So, I told them I had Covid and that they probably wouldn’t see me for about a week. My whole family had Covid recently, except for me, so it was a good excuse. This was the first time I’d ever been admitted to the hospital, and I didn’t know they would admit me when I went in.
I thought it would be a quick outpatient thing with some more penicillin—but I was SO wrong. The neurology team got involved. I was so scared, and all I could think about was that I wished I could talk to my sister, who is a doctor. But with syphilis being an STD, my family doesn’t talk about stuff like that.
My symptoms were a minor annoyance at worst, but since it affected my vision, it was being taken very seriously.
18. Too Little Too Late
My grandmother passed of dementia, but that took five years of progression. I was 16 when it all started, and I had never lost anyone before. Everything about it was so scary and I reacted terrible. I avoided her at all costs. This was a woman who lived 10 minutes from us growing up, who babysat me constantly, and was over every Sunday for dinner. I moved away to college and didn’t think about her much until her last month.
I visited twice ever, and that was in hospice. At that point, I was 21 years old. The first time I saw her, she was slowly deteriorating—not eating or drinking, and just a shell of a person. I walked in, sat on her bed, and took her hand. The only semblance of human interaction I saw from her was that her face got flushed when she saw me, and she gripped my hand.
The second time I saw her, I was only in her room for a few minutes. My mother looked at me, and it clicked. My grandmother was going to pass that day. I panicked and said, “I don’t know if I can be here for this”, and my mother understood. I nearly ran out of the building.
Fifteen minutes down the road, I got a call from my mom saying my grandmother was gone. I am so guilty I ignored that saint of a woman for five years and only showed up the week she passed. I will always carry it with me.
Unsplash, Ekaterina Shakharova
19. Something’s Buggy
My friends, roommates, and family know that I’m scared of bugs, but they don’t know that I’m downright horrified by them, to the point where it’s probably an actual phobia. A few weeks ago, a mosquito was trapped in my room for a few days. I saw it multiple times, and it would bite me in my sleep. Even though the rational part of my brain tells me otherwise, I started to believe that I had bedbugs, which I know that I don't. I haven't been able to sleep.
Even so, my reaction was over the top. I’ve been vacuuming my mattress, constantly washing my sheets, doing exhaustingly thorough inspections nonstop, and worst of all, when I’m tired, I can feel bugs crawling on me that I know aren’t there. It’s honestly been tormenting, and it’s negatively impacting my ability to function in daily life.
I’m rational enough to see the evidence for myself and finally convinced myself there are no bedbugs around. I’m ashamed to share it with anyone, worrying they’d think I’m crazy when I’m definitely not. I sometimes have anxiety, and I think bugs just trigger the worst of it in me.
20. Cult Off From Mom And Dad
I grew up in a charismatic evangelical cult. I was physically hurt by the pastor and several churchgoers in an "exorcism" to cure my depression and suicidal thoughts. It didn't work. When I was 16 or 17, I was spiraling and made a horrible decision.
I tried to take my life. Luckily, I ended up fine, but I was still broken. I called helplines at night for weeks afterward and cried on the phone to them. I often begged them not to call the authorities and just to let me cry to them, as it would just make things worse for me if they did.
My sister, who was 14-15 at the time, found me one night because I cried so hard that I puked. She asked if I was OK and comforted me. I remember her kindness, and she has always been my biggest support. Six years later, we both escaped our parents and the cult. I went no contact with them while my sister still talked to them, maintaining firm boundaries.
I'm 22 now and had my first birthday without them. My sister made me a cake, got me a present, and we had a get-together, but I didn't tell her I was pretty sad the whole day. I didn’t get a single birthday wish from any of my family, and while I wanted it that way and there's really no way for any of them to get in touch with me, I miss my parents.
I'm still just a scared kid who wants his mommy and daddy. I want my dad to tell me he's proud of me, and I want my mom to tell me I'm perfect the way I am and that she will love me no matter what. I was a heavy user but have been clean and sober for months, but when I remember everything, I start craving again. I am thankful I don’t know any dealers.
21. Missing Mom
I miss my mom—a lot. She is still alive but is barely in my life because she was extremely terrible for my entire childhood. She kicked me out of her house and I ended up not having any contact with her for about a year. I lived with my dad during that time. I’m talking to her again because it’s easier now that she has moved to another state, but it’s not enough.
I just want her to hug me, even knowing there will be a metaphorical knife in my back if I do. I have many memories about her as a kid that were mostly bad, but there were a few that weren’t, and I miss that.
22. The Never-Ending Cycle
I reject invitations to go places and see people, then hate myself for always feeling alone. I’m normally OK once I’m out and about, but the thought of going to see people—or the build-up to it—messes with my head, and I don’t know why.
For example, I love to climb and go climbing at the gym regularly. There's just one problem. I get terrible anxiety as I get ready to go. It just takes over me. I make myself go, then after 10 minutes, I love it and can’t wait to go back. Then, the cycle repeats itself time and time again.
23. Caught Between A Rock And A Hard Place
I have had the same best friend since I was 16; we met in high school. When we turned 19, she met her husband. I didn't expect it, but we became really good friends really quickly. Even better friends than me and her. We developed a deep brother-sister-type bond. My best friend had cognitive disabilities and anxiety, so I would vent to him because he was just easier to talk to. Then her husband lost his life to leukemia.
I stepped up and helped my best friend through the transition. I planned a memorial service, paid for the cremation, and was basically a rock, but I was completely gutted internally. I do not trust easily, and her husband was one of the few people I felt I could say anything to.
The loss was hard for me, and I had nowhere to go with the pain because the one person I would talk to about it was him, and he was gone. It was a complicated mix to deal with.
24. My Plan Backfired
During a manic episode, I did the unthinkable. I was filled with so much rage and sorrow that I let a homeless man take me into a ditch behind a church in hopes that he would take my life. But he didn't. He just had a drink, showed me some pictures of his girlfriends, and actually started a nice chat with me. I think he was just lonely.
25. Forget About It!
I have terrible memory issues, and no matter what I do to keep things on track—meds, planners, reminders, alarms—things still slip through the cracks. It makes me feel terrible because I hate the disappointed or even frustrated look I get when I ask a question and should know the answer. Things get even worse when other people are involved because they tend to think my absentminded means that I don't care.
I often hear, “If you cared, then you’d remember," when in reality, I care so much. I never want to ask again what we planned for tomorrow or when your birthday is. It is really hard to juggle everything all the time.
26. Glad He’s Gone
I hate to admit it, but I felt relieved when my dad took his life. While he had a lot of mental health issues, he was also not a very nice person and put my family and me through a lot of pain for many years. I feel a horrible inner conflict about it and it haunts me every minute of the day.
I am sad that someone suffered and inflicted so much pain on others, but I am also relieved that it is over, and I honestly don’t miss him at all.
27. Not Much Time With Nan
My nana was 101. Everything about her was great. She was funny, still physically and mentally able to take care of herself and of her family, was super supportive, and basically was everything you could ever wish for in a grandparent.
With her age, I knew time was short, but I didn’t prioritize her as much as I should have. I saw her the night before she passed and told her I was sorry. She accepted it and forgave me, but you could tell she was sad I hadn’t spent more time with her.
The next time I saw her, she was gone. I regret it every day of my life.
28. A Bad Mix
I had two different friends groups that I generally hung out with separately, but it led to a lot of conflicts, so I decided to make an effort to get them to mix together more. Now we're all one big group. It was one of the worst things I have ever done.
There was so much drama that happened as a result, and now I feel like I don't belong in either crowd. I can’t plan things with one group without people from the other feeling like I’m purposefully excluding them, nor can I talk about things that happen to me because they're all basically one big weird bunch now. It’s really suffocating, and I feel lost.
29. It Was All In My Head
I suffered from HORRIFIC intrusive thoughts due to OCD, and for 28 years, I thought something was wrong with me. I had such terrible intrusive thoughts that I believed I might be a sociopath or that I might start to hurt people, even though whenever I had thoughts of harming others it made me feel physically ill.
I was genuinely scared to babysit my two-year-old nephew alone because “What if I accidentally threw him down the stairs?" I finally opened up to my therapist, and she helped me work through it all. I'm no longer triggered and can finally live peacefully.
30. It Was All Smoke And Mirrors
I’ve smoked for almost 40 years—and it's my greatest secret. I rarely indulge in public and never at work, so only my husband knows I've used a pack a day for almost my entire life. I just quit, and the cravings are brutal at times, but I feel so much better. The thought of someone finding out or noticing the smell of smoke on me and judging me was so humiliating. I thought it was stupid and unnecessary, yet I kept on doing it for way too many years.
31. Material Motivation
I don't feel the want to do anything. Even when I have plans for dates or events with other people, stuff that I should look forward to, I don't get excited. I don’t look forward to anything except greedy stuff like obtaining money or objects. I'm not even materialistic; it's just like my brain is looking for shortcuts to make me feel some sort of excitement, so it looks for objects that I want. This makes me feel horrible.
My girlfriend asks me to play video games or hang out with her, and I always do, but I never look forward to it until we actually do it. I always enjoy my time with her, but I can't get hyped up to do anything. I've heard of this happening with older people, but I'm only 18, and I'm horrified. I need motivation.
32. Who Let The Cat Out?
We lost our family cat when I was a kid. She was an indoor cat and couldn’t be let out. Even though she was microchipped, we didn’t find her until months later. When we found her, she was super underweight and looked horrible. She lost her life shortly after that while at the vet. But here's my secret.
Unfortunately, I was the one who let her out.
33. The Favorite Daughter
I have a sister who was adopted. From the very start, my parents clearly loved her more than they loved me. She was adopted before I was born, and while I was growing up, they would constantly ask me why I couldn't be more like her. All my life, she has always been the favored one.
34. Into The Woods
There are some times when everything in my life leaves me so frustrated that I just want to disappear and go into the woods and live alone in a cabin. Nobody ragging on me for my looks, nobody complaining that the job they're underpaying me for isn't done as fast as they want, no more tormenting myself with impossible dreams of a better life, a wife and kids, and a dog and two cars in the garage. Just me, in the woods, alone.
And no more people saying, "It's God's will" whenever something bad happens. It's all so exhausting.
35. Guilt Trip
Everyone I know is so close to their parents, but I don't feel the same way about mine. In fact, i don't feel attached to them at all. They allowed me to live with my maternal grandmother for most of my formative years, through high school and college. I miss my grandma terribly, as she was more of a parent to me than my actual parents. Any time I currently spend visiting my folks and helping them around the farm is generally out of guilt.
36. I Burned Him Bad
When I was 15 or 16 years old, I almost took someone's life. I lit my friend on fire. He ended up with third-degree burns and had to be hospitalized for awhile. He was a homie and never told anyone it was me who burned him. He just told people he was goofing around with fire and that it was an accident, but I did it to him.
37. Spoiled Rotten
Because of my autism, I was sheltered and spoiled my whole life by my mom. The consequences have been brutal. Now that I’m an adult, I struggle to perform normal everyday tasks and feel no motivation to do them. I know it’s not too late to change, but it’s really difficult. I love my mom dearly, but I can’t help but feel that she let me down in the long run.
Perhaps when I move out and I’m forced to do those things, I’ll feel a bit better about it.
38. Daddy’s Little Girl
When my dad passed, I felt nothing. I felt the same way I do when I hear about a stranger dying. I went to his funeral, which was out of state, to be with my mom, who I am very close with. My dad was occasionally physically and mentally harmful to me—a female—but not to my brothers. I always considered myself the daughter he never wanted.
Not long after he was gone, my mom told me how excited he was when I was born because he had a daughter. He had a terrible way of showing it.
39. I Need A Diagnosis Now!
I think I have undiagnosed ADHD, and it’s ruining my life. I feel like I have Swiss cheese for brains and have to set alarms throughout the day to avoid forgetting anything. I have to write down every single thing I have to do, from doing the dishes to making my bed to bringing a reusable bag when I go shopping. My to-do list for work is over ten pages long because if I don’t write down every action, I’ll forget.
Many times, I’ve left the house with my makeup unfinished because I was distracted and didn’t get a visual clue to finish. If something doesn’t interest me, I can’t do it. It’s not that I don’t want to; it’s that I physically cannot make myself break away from the things that do give me dopamine to do important stuff.
40. Knives Out
A guy broke into my house while I was cutting some meat. I acted on instinct. The first thing I did was throw a knife at his leg. I'm a great blade thrower; now he can't walk because I hit a nerve. He didn't even have a weapon; it was purely my gut reaction.
I feel so bad that I ruined his life that I can't even make dinner anymore because it reminds me of that one night. I know what he did was wrong, but I can't help but feel that I went too far.
41. Time For A Change?
I don’t know if I really want to be with my partner for the rest of my life, and since I don’t know, it scares me to no end. It's been over ten years that we've been together and through so many life events, he's been there and supported me. He helped me through college, and he assisted me whenever I needed it. We went through a rough patch when we moved in together because we were very young and moved to a city we had never been to before.
I was extremely depressed, and our relationship cooled off for a while. That was years ago, and now, we have both let ourselves go a bit. My taste in men has changed considerably, and his sitting at his computer for hours irritates me. To be fair, I doubt he’s attracted to me anymore either, and I get why he wouldn’t be. We don’t do anything.
We don’t go on dates anymore; I can’t even tell you the last time we went to a movie or dinner. I haven’t had an orgasm in months, he doesn’t kiss me when we do get busy, and his life goals are non-existent. Our love languages are completely incompatible as well. I don’t really know how he even shows love, to be honest. I need physical and verbal affection, and I don’t receive those anymore.
I think we are both guilty of staying with each other out of convenience, but it’s tough to see my life without him. Even so, it’s hard to say I can commit myself to feeling like this permanently. There are times when I love him completely and never want to be away from him, and there are times when I think I want to love him for what I want him to be and not who he is, which is confusing.
42. Still In The Closet
I haven’t told my mother that I am gay, and when I do, I know that it’s going to be a nightmare. My dad is extremely loving and supportive of my boyfriend and me; however, my mom is not. I've seen and heard the way she reacts to gay issues in the news or characters on TV. She is openly disapproving and uses derogatory names. It's awful.
43. Career Coaching
I’m part of management for a company. I encourage and coach any employee who gets a better job offer first to use it to get a raise if they’re semi-interested in staying. I tell them what I make so they have an idea of what a reasonable raise would be. If they’re not, and their other job offer has better pay and benefits, I encourage them to leave.
Our company has little room for upward movement because our employee base is in the hundreds, and our management is only about 20 people, most of who are content like me. I’m sure my employer would be mad because three of the people I’ve cheered on were incredible members of the management team.
44. Leave Well Enough Alone
I'm 25 years old and never had a really good friend. I spent most of my life at home alone, playing video games or watching Anime. Last year, I finally found someone and knew she was my soul mate. I began to live my life for the first time. She lived six hours away, but we made sure to see each other often and made plans for the future.
Then, she told me she wanted to have a child. But I wasn't happy. Instead of being excited, it broke my heart because if she gets pregnant, we won’t be able to do everything we planned. I'm angry with myself for being so selfish.
45. I Finally Let It Out
When I was 22, I got my girlfriend—who was 19 at the time—pregnant—twice. We both made a choice that it wasn’t a good time to have children at the time, so I helped her carry out both abortions. It is the thing that I most regret in my entire life, and it haunts me every day. Thirteen years later, I ran into her at a local marketplace in another city.
She introduced me to her husband and her children. The next day, we agreed to meet and catch up over coffee. We talked for hours, went over our mistakes, cried, hugged, and parted ways. I had never told anyone about it and kept it inside for 13 years. It was a relief to let it out, and it was the closure I needed.
46. Oh Brother, What Art Thou?
I don’t know where to begin, but I think my older brother—who I love and was our caregiver while we were growing up in a neglectful home—might be a predator. I never want to tell anyone because I don't want it to be true. However, at the same time, I'm totally weirded out to be around him alone or to let him be near my kids.
47. He Fell For It
When I was six or seven, a neighborhood boy about my age came to my house. I didn’t care much for him. He was sitting on the railing of our porch about eight feet off the ground. I went up to him to play the “don’t fall” trick, where you pretend to push someone but grab them instead. However, I didn’t grab him. Instead, a nightmare ensued.
I straight up shoved him off the railing and said, “Don’t fall”, as he plummeted to the ground below and hit his head on a big rock. He bled everywhere and was crying. I don’t know why I did it; it was intentional and malicious. Forty years later, I still feel bad.
48. Let’s Get Physical
When I was eight years old, I was at a friend’s sleepover. I've never told anyone what happened that horrifying night.
My friend was the same age as me, and an older boy was also there who asked me to take off my clothes and lay on my friend. After saying no multiple times, I was persuaded to do it. I don't recall much more of that night; I guess my brain said, “Let’s forget that”.
I still know how the room looked, what games we played, and how the bed and the carpet looked. I’m 20 now, and I think because of that night, I had a lot of trouble accepting physical touch and intimacy.
Unsplash, Jonathan Cosens Photography
49. The Burning Bed
When I was seven, I was home alone. I called emergency services because a house fire consumed half of the house, and they found me outside. My mother, who was at work, was told by the fire department that it was an electrical fire. But that's not actually what happened.
In truth, I had a lighter and was fascinated by fire. I was burning the little tassels at the end of my blanket and putting them out before the whole blanket caught fire. That is until I wasn't able to, and the whole bed caught fire.
An electrical outlet shorted out from the heat, which made the firefighters think that was the cause. I'm 40 now, and my mother still doesn't know the truth. To this day, I vividly remember it, complete with the heat on my face as I tried in vain to put out the flames on the bed.
50. The Maple Syrup Solution
My new neighbors behind my house played their music so loud that an entire block could hear it from their houses. In other words, a stereo being blasted inside a detached single-family home could be heard at the other houses on the entire block.
I worked during the day, so I didn’t know what my next-door neighbors were talking about when they mentioned it to me. Then I stepped into my backyard one afternoon. Yes, the sound crossed their backyard and could be heard in mine, loud enough to identify the artist and song. However, I very much believe in mind your own business and live and let live, and I could only hear the sound inside my house if I stopped and listened for it.
Until their first Sunday in their new address. My neighbors moved their stereo system to the backyard and fired up the grill and cranked it while they settled in for the long haul, lounging at their picnic table…at 7 AM
After it woke me up, I discovered the noise was loud enough to rattle knick-knacks in my living room on the front of the house, and to drown out my bedroom television. I stepped to the fence in my nightgown and yelled, but they could not hear me over the music. Only after waving my arms to get their attention did they turn down the volume, listen to my request to turn it down, and then predictably tell me to screw off before they cranked it back up.
I phoned the noise complaint in. And again. And again. By three o’clock, the officer told my neighbors during his seventh visit to their address that if I phoned to complain again, he would throw them behind bars. They finally turned the music to a reasonable level after blasting it all day.
Three Saturdays later I had to work my second job. I finished my shift late, arriving at home after 3am. I collected my supplies and walked the alley to the next street behind my house.
I found their front porch and climbed the steps. And I made lovely swoops and swirly patterns all over my neighbor’s wooden front porch and porch stairs, upending an entire 1L bottle of fake maple syrup. I finished my art with several 1-ounce tubes of craft glitter. They can consider themselves fortunate that they didn’t own a car, or it would have received the same attention.
It was beautiful.
Then I went home to bed. Never got caught, never told a soul, not even my husband.
51. Here Today, Gone Tomorrow
I’ve lost $10,000 in gambling in a single night. I’m not a gambler myself so I’m not sure what got into me that night. We had a good number of drinks and I just gambled everything that was in my bank account that night. To date, I still haven’t told anybody—and it’s had a ripple effect.
As they say, the worst things happen when you’re most vulnerable. Because of what I lost, I ended up missing my car monthly payments. I procrastinated for a month, 2 months, 4 months, 6 months. One day, I was at a friend’s place. It was the first day of the New Year. January 1st.
I stayed over at their place the previous night. My car was parked outside on the street safe. I thought. I woke up the next morning only to find my car was gone. I knew the bank came after me and repossessed my car. My friends were there asking me questions about what happened. I couldn’t tell them.
I pretended to make some calls and got back to them saying my car was towed thanks to improper parking and that I will get it on the way home. I got home. I called up my girlfriend and lied to her saying I had an accident and that my car got totaled. I have no car now.
52. Ruminate On It
I have rumination syndrome. Rumination syndrome is a disorder where someone repeatedly brings up food into their mouths from their stomachs after they have already eaten. Then, the person chews the stomach contents and swallows it back down.
Some people only do it for thirty minutes; some do it up to 2 hours after eating. It’s most common in infants, mentally disabled people, and those who have a history of eating disorders. Some people develop it after developing PTSD. It’s mainly a stress mechanism mixed with a tic.
I try to stop, but it feels like suppressing a sneeze or trying not to cough. I feel very ashamed of it. I’m paranoid about my teeth. I brush once a day instead of twice in order to protect the enamel, leave a layer of fluoridated toothpaste on my teeth, and use mouthwash with fluoride at least 10 times a day.
I feel like a disgusting person, and I often hide after I eat. I avoid situations where I am expected to eat in public. It’s a very isolating disorder, and I hate myself for it. I couldn’t imagine having a boyfriend, because I am afraid of what he might think.
I really desperately want to have close relationships. I want to feel loved and connected with people, but I am terrified of being rejected and hurt. I know that people will be as disgusted and repulsed by me as I am of myself if they knew. I am alone, and it’s all my fault. I hate myself.
53. Behind Closed Doors
Here's my story. I'm an almost 30-year-old woman. I hold down a regular 9-5 job and typically dress like any other person whether I'm at work or hanging out somewhere. I have wonderful friends and family, and a cute cat. I fill my spare time with activities like road trips, reading, drawing, movie-going, and cooking. Nothing remotely out of the ordinary. I am fully independent; living alone, paying my own bills, keeping up with a gym routine, pretty much what you'd expect.
Yet, the moment I cross the threshold of my home, it's like stepping into another world entirely. Despite all outward appearances, my apartment is anything but ordinary. It's a spacious second-floor unit in a two-apartment building; my only neighbor is the person beneath me. Boasting 13-foot high cathedral ceilings with rustic wooden beams and immense, medieval-style furniture, my place resembles a relic of an ancient era.
My home decor is heavily inspired by Skyrim: horns, candles, banners, furs, skulls, and more. I live up north near the mountains, so I get to experience a good amount of snowfall. My at-home mode is all about immersing in fantasy. This includes listening exclusively to mythical music, reading adventure books, and cooking traditional homemade meals.
My attire consists of faux fur-accented outfits. To complete the look, I put on "warrior" makeup, indulge in epic fantasy like Skyrim, Lord of the Rings, The Witcher, and Game of Thrones. I've even taken to wearing long, hooded robes. I'm starting to learn archery and picking up languages like Dovahzul and Tolkien Elven.
My nighttime routine involves writing and sketching in leather-bound journals, complete with feather quill and ink, as well as eating from wooden dishes and lighting up my apartment with candles instead of electricity. I love nothing more than snuggling up near the fireplace in my fur blanket, watching the snow fall, and letting my mind wander off to far-off mythical land.
I'll admit it may sound strange to some, but this is how I destress from the pressures of everyday life. Every time I close my front door behind me, it's like stepping into my own little fantasy world. Although it's my secret life, I occasionally let friends and family get a glimpse of it but I save the full 'warrior' makeup and fur capes for when they leave.
Albeit, the idea of people I know finding out about this side of me is a bit embarrassing. I'm nervous about their judgment so this confession is a pretty big step for me. But sometimes, it's important to get things off your chest.
54. The Cosmos Crushed My Dreams
My partner was sick and developed brain damage after a sudden illness. It was random and out of the blue. Most days, he is his old self, but some days he is a stranger to me. He's angry, confused, and doesn't know me. He gets into a rage, and I have to calm him. I have to remind him of the 13 years we've shared together and break his heart, reminding him that his dad is gone.
He seems totally fine to people on the outside, just a bit quieter than usual. They don't see him when he's confused or wondering who I am. It's hard. I'm burning out between work, studying, caring for him, volunteering, and moving because of his mobility issues. I adore him and won’t leave him, but it's made me realize that the life we had planned is not going to happen. But the devastation doesn't end there.
We were planning to have a baby, but I've had to accept that it likely won't happen. I also can’t bring myself to tell him that I don't think it'll happen. I'm angry, heartbroken, and sad. I've never felt such hatred for whatever cosmic force there may be out there that did this, but I wake up from what little sleep I get, begging whatever is out there to leave us alone.
I want my old life back, my old partner, and our future back. I get so mad because people keep telling me I should be grateful he isn't worse, but I should be allowed my feelings.
