Sometimes the stars align and arrogant people put themselves in situations where they get taken down a peg. There’s nothing better than watching someone with an inflated ego deflate, and these Redditors are happy to share their stories.
1. Don’t Mess With This City Girl
In college, one semester for fun I took “Swine Management”. I’m a total city girl, about 5-foot-nothing, and at the time I was like 105 lbs soaking wet. I did learn how to restrain a hog in that class, and I got to know all the barn men really well.
Next fall semester, I started my Veterinary College courses. In Large Animal Medicine, we had a block of, you guessed it, swine disease prevention. The professor was known to enjoy taking his students down a peg or two. He covered basic swine restraint really fast, so no way you’d be able to do it…unless you already know how.
He looked around. The barn men were watching this show from the back. I didn’t want to disappoint them, so I made eye contact with the prof and of course, he picked me “to demo”. This was my chance to humble him.
I calmly walked up to the show, took the rope, looped it around the belly, twisted, half-hitch into her mouth, and tied her up. The barn men were like proud papas, the prof was like, "What just happened"? He asked me where I grew up and he was clearly thinking Iowa or something.
I answered: the big city to the west.
Best day ever.
2. The Simplest Solution
I used to work at a photography studio. I'm not a photographer but I know some basics.
This photographer guy, probably in his 50s, told me the equipment he rented wasn’t working. He ranted on about how he had wasted 25 minutes of his rental time because his camera wasn't syncing to the lighting equipment. All in front of his poor clients.
The best moment of my life: as he was cursing me out, I walked over and wordlessly plugged the lighting equipment in. Never seen a grown man turn so red.
3. Nobody Liked Him Either
A guy in our union was running for some executive board position and he was telling everyone what an easy win it was gonna be for him because nobody liked the other two people running for the job.
Come election day, he got a very humbling awakening. Out of 1300 people, he got less than 10 votes. He didn’t speak to many people for a while after that. Nobody likes a braggart.
4. Sweet Itch Revenge
Worked with a super confident Jack-the-lad type years ago (the late '80s-'90s). He’d recently split up with a long-term girlfriend (whom he had cheated on multiple times).
The lad had been feeling a bit unwell for a couple of weeks, a generally run-down sort of thing. He bumped into the ex who, when told of his health, shrugged her shoulders with a “what do you want me to do about it” look.
This displeased him and when I saw him the following day he said that he’d concocted an unpleasant plan to tell her that he’d tested HIV+ and that she should be tested.
Now I don’t know about you but I thought that this was a bit disproportionate. So, myself and another lad got to his ex first! She wrote him a letter expressing her regret that she’d not been more sympathetic to his plight and that she’d since noticed that she too had been suffering similar symptoms. Because, as he knew, she had private health care through her employer, they had rushed some tests and had diagnosed her with…
Here we struggled to think of something, then a friend of hers came up with “Sweet Itch”. None of us had ever heard of it. “It’s something horses get, it makes their tails fall out”, she said. Perfect!
The letter got delivered the following day.
Four days later, I saw him in a bar. “Hi XXX, how’re you doing? Feeling any better?”
“I am, a bit”, he says, “But to be honest I’m pooping through the eye of a needle”.
Ah yes, I should have said: his ex’s “Private health company” had prescribed a cure of Cod Liver Oil and Epsom Salts–3 times a day!
I was struggling to hold it together. “Blimey, that sounds rough”, I said, “Do you know what it is yet”?
“It’s called 'sweet itch'”, he said.
I shrugged my shoulders. “Never heard of it”
“Nor had my doctor! He looked it up and said it’s something horses get. I called him an incompetent old jerk and walked out”.
I was gone by this point on the floor, tears were streaming down my face. He was looking at me very confused, still with absolutely no idea. Then I delivered the final blow:
“It’s a wind-up, mate”, I managed. “Me, X, Y, and Z wrote the letter the other night”.
I saw a man crumble before my eyes, every ounce of bravado and confidence drain from his face and his body. He just couldn’t comprehend that he could be caught so thoroughly hook, line, and sinker. He was broken. Within the next week, he was dumped by two different women and smashed up his car (he was OK).
He did build his ego back up enough to find himself a lovely lady a couple of years later and is now a very happy house husband with two beautiful kids. 30+ years on he does see the funny side (just) and does admit that the HIV plan was abhorrent and would like to think he would never have gone through with it.
5. Reaping What You Sow
I don't like seeing my family get hurt, but my mom had something similar happen and she deserved it in my opinion.
For years she would complain about her coworkers and how most of them were incompetent and far less skilled than her and how she was the only person in her office keeping the business afloat. Fast forward to a year or so ago and she was butting heads with some new executive in her office, who filed a complaint against her; he then elevated his complaint and tried to have her fired. The office gave my mom a choice: she could keep her job, but she would have to refrain from interacting with that executive, or she could resign with a severance package of one year's salary and keep her health insurance for one year.
She took the severance package because "they'll be begging me to come back within weeks and offering to pay me more". Yeah, that backfired on her HARD. they never tried to rehire her and despite her claims of everyone else being incompetent and her single-handedly keeping their business afloat, they seemed no worse for wear after she left.
And since she was in her 60s and had been with that company for the last several decades, she had no relevant experience other than the very specific job she did for them all those decades and had an impossible time finding a new job. So she was forced to retire and start drawing on her social security early, which reduced her retirement benefit by hundreds of dollars a month for the rest of her life.
As I said, I derive no joy from my mom's suffering, but she brought all of that on herself.
6. Mom Is Not A Team Player
A high school friend told a group of us he couldn't get together with us over a college break because he started playing "semi-pro" football and scouts were coming to see him. He never played in high school, but was on track and cross-country so while it seemed unlikely we thought we'd surprise him by showing up at his game in support.
We got the game information from his mom…and we were floored. was a bar-league flag football team. He was crushed when we showed up.
7. The Package
One of the jerks in my school constantly made fun of the new kid for having a small package. The new guy's family had come in from Spain or something and the kid was really nice. Since he was so different from all of the other kids at school, the girls were kind of into him. I mean, he probably could have picked any of them.
So the jerk decided he was going to start the rumor that the kid had a tiny package and was gay. The jerk said he saw the new kid’s package in gym class when the guy made a move on him. This went on for a week or so and finally, the jerk decided to knock the new kid over. But he took it too far—he took his shorts off of his body and started to run away.
This kid from Spain stood up, revealing some tight red (I want to say satin but not sure) underwear. Some people snickered, but it was business as usual to this kid. No big deal, kind of like a Speedo. And this kid was packing. I mean it was outlined there for everyone to see in all of its glory.
I swear this guy winked at the hottest girl in school, grabbed his backpack, and headed to class in his underwear. He didn’t even go after his shorts. That dude became a legend. His family moved again a year later.
The jerk? Well, he became known as the guy that couldn't handle Sergio's amazing package.
8. Bumpkin’s Revenge
Some dude came into the pub I work at for the pub quiz. He kept going on about how he was smarter than all these bumpkins (I live in a university city) and that he was gonna get first prize.
He was adamant and he sat at the bar across from me the whole time. I played on my phone and named myself "Bumpkin". When the results came out, I just smirked. He didn't even place in the top 10 and was furious that he got beaten by a bumpkin and a "gang of old retired screwups that have nothing better to do".
9. No Podium For You
I am a pub trivia host and witnessed this happen in real-time during one of my games. This California guy was visiting our touristy little agricultural area and talked about what an amazing person he was, saying he always cleaned up at 'stupid' pub trivia games.
Well, we may be in a rural area, but we're FAR from idiots. One of the regular teams was comprised of a corporate attorney plus a bunch of academics from the local college, and they absolutely humiliated this poor guy. He clung to second place for a while but eventually gave up and didn't even podium. It was so satisfying.
10. Should Be The First Thing You Check
I worked in IT support for my school while I was in college. One of my coworkers was the type who thinks they’re the smartest guy in the room. One day he came in and couldn’t get his monitors to work.
After 10 minutes of watching him struggle, I tried to interject and help but got a long-winded rant about how he’s been working with computers his whole life and doesn’t need any help, if he can’t figure it out I certainly wouldn’t be able to.
My response made his face turn red. “That’s cool man, I just thought monitors had to be plugged in to work, my bad”. He looked like he wanted to die as he realized both monitors were unplugged.
11. Great Girlfriend
I knew a guy that always felt the need to one-up everything I said.
I was on the phone with my girlfriend at the time and he happened to overhear us talking. He came up to me and started to brag about himself, loud enough for my girlfriend to hear, and how he could take my girl just by talking to her on the phone for 10 minutes. He didn't realize I LIVE for moments when people try me.
I offered him my phone and my girlfriend reamed him out for 5 minutes straight before he handed me back the phone and walked off. I was so proud of her, haha.
12. Not So High And Mighty
I had a job inspecting products before they were sent to the customers. Part of that was making sure the product was built to the correct height with a yardstick. The head of the production at this job thought he could do no wrong, constantly liked to brag about how many certifications (Six Sigma, etc.) he had, and had recently decided we no longer needed a process for incorrect products since he decided people were no longer going to be human and make mistakes.
Due to the nature of the products, the company was legally required to have a process for correcting mistakes so we largely just ignored that particular decision.
One afternoon, he came up to me with one of the products I had rejected for measuring 19" when it should have been 17". His reaction threw me off-guard. He shoved it on my table (I had to catch what was already there, and it wasn't very light), grabbed the yardstick, slammed it into place to measure, and started screaming at me about how it clearly measured 17", how I was an idiot for not being able to use a simple yardstick, probably something about how he was certified God-king by the International YardStick Federation of America. I was silent for his 5-10 minute rant, just staring at him. He was loud enough that most of the production had stopped what they were doing and were staring at us.
When he finished, I just took the yardstick, turned it the correct way, and calmly said "19".
The few production workers close enough to hear me started laughing their heads off, which probably contributed to the head of the production turning purple and stomping off. The dude was replaced shortly after, thankfully.
13. Slow And Methodical
There was an arm wrestling trend going on at my high school during my junior year, and there was an all-star athlete on my basketball team called Pat, who was very cocky. He wasn’t the best on the team at basketball, but he started in every single sport and he was absolutely jacked for a 17-year-old.
One day he challenges this semi-mentally handicapped kid at our school to an arm wrestling match over who got to use this particular tool in shop class. This kid was pretty big, but he was a bit slow so he got teased a lot. Still, they should have known better than to underestimate him.
Anyway, they got set up, everyone was watching, and the match started. Fifteen seconds went by and Pat couldn’t move this kid’s arm at all. He just sat there, smiling at Pat, and we all watched the smug and cocky attitude disappear.
Then the slow kid easily pinned Pat’s arm and let Pat use the tool anyways. He walked away humming to himself like usual. What a boss.
14. When Your Own Body Betrays You
There used to be a kid named Nathan in my elementary school. He was one of those kids who matured way before the rest of us and he was, essentially, a full-grown man by the time we were all in the eighth grade. He literally had a beard before we were in high school.
Anyway, he was a total monster. A total jerk. He messed with everyone, girls, and boys. He would shove people to the ground, beat people up, and pull fire alarms during assemblies. You name it. Even the teachers were scared of this kid and he was at his absolute worst during recess and, specifically, gym. Like, seriously, even the TEACHERS were scared of this kid. He once gave a kid a concussion trying to do a WWF 'spine buster' on him on bare concrete and almost got expelled from school for it.
One day we were in gym class and we were playing a game of dodgeball and things were chaotic because we were playing Atomic dodgeball. It was a game where the gym floor was cut in half to be one side of a basketball court. You played a regular game of dodgeball, but if you sunk a 3-point basket, your entire team got to come back onto the court. The trick was navigating people throwing dodgeballs at you to try to make a 3-point shot, it was a lot of fun.
Well, during one game of dodgeball, I noticed that Nathan was walking across the gym floor in a sort of rushed manner at one point. He was doing a very distracted kind of shuffle walk for some reason. I'm not even sure he was even playing the game, but maybe just trying to get across the court in the quickest way possible. But his mind was clearly distracted by…something.
But that's when someone from across the court hurled a ball at him. It was kind of unexpected because if he was ever playing dodgeball, most of the time people were too scared to throw one at him because he was so aggressive, but either way, he was way too distracted to see it coming... And it smacked him directly in the face, directly in the bridge of his nose.
It was thrown so hard that it jerked his face backward and staggered him. His arms went in front of him as he took two steps back, his face was open in a giant 'O' of surprise as he tried to catch his balance...and then he let out a surprise gasping noise.
It was one of those moments when you were a kid when time stood still. He stood, transfixed on the spot and making a strange face. His eyes were bulging out as he looked all around him and he balled up both of his fists, a look of intense concentration on his face.
The next thing that happened involved a girl who I will remember until the day I die simply because of this incident. Her first name was Rachel. She stopped, pointed to the back of Nathan's gym shorts in an exaggerated motion, and screamed, "HE POOPED ON HIMSELLLLLLLLLLFFFFFFF!" at the top of her lungs.
The ENTIRE gym immediately burst into cheers and laughter as Nathan turned on the spot to the nearest exit and RAN out of a fire escape door, setting off an alarm as he took off, trailing liquid diarrhea behind him as people screamed and laughed at him.
He left the entire school and ran home crying and didn't come back for three days, which still didn't let him live the incident down. He was still a problem kid after that, but the humiliation was so great he mostly kept out of people's business for the rest of the year. Once we graduated, I think his family moved away and he basically wasn't heard from again.
The Legend of Nate Dogg still lives on though. Someone just shared this story with a high school reunion site we're all a part of a few months ago.
15. Mother Nature Doesn’t Know Who You Are
I worked for a Mercedes Benz dealer. Lots of jerk customers, but one, in particular, was just a brat. He'd throw a tantrum if he couldn't get in for a service appointment with zero notice and pulled a lot of "do you KNOW who I AM" stuff to try to get his way.
He came in one day and made a huge production of buying a $100,000 car–made sure everyone in the dealership knew he was buying it and exactly how much it cost, drove it into the service bay to smugly show it off to the techs, rolled the top down and blasted his lame 80's music as loud as he could on the way out...super cringey.
About three hours after he left with his new car, he walked back into the service bay, absolutely losing it. He demanded his money back because "the car was ruined". Sure enough, here came the tow truck with his pretty little convertible in tow.
Apparently, the genius had decided to show off his car to his work buddies and parked it on the street with the top down, then popped inside to "conduct some business". Well, a downpour came out of nowhere and drenched the interior of the car. It totally ruined the electronics, soaked into the upholstery, and he couldn't even turn the car on. The thing was essentially totaled and he'd had it for three hours. It was amazing.
16. Road Rage Ain’t Worth It
Once I saw two young kids, probably thirteen years old, trying to cross the street. A guy in a pickup truck yelled at them to get out of the way. The kids had the right of way and said something back to the guy.
The guy totally lost it. He jumped out of the truck acting like a tough guy, and got up in the one kid's face screaming and yelling. When he took his eyes off of the kid he was yelling at to yell at the other kid…bam! A right hook to the face from the first kid. He got dropped with one punch.
The two kids took off like road runners. By the time the guy got up, they were gone. That guy was probably twenty years older than them and got wrecked. I imagine he had to go to work the next day with a big shiner. And had to lie about what happened. It was so awesome. He totally deserved it.
17. Giving 64% Effort
A girl in my English class said that she would score a 100 on our End of Course test. She made everyone feel bad about themselves and thought that she was the best in the class.
Then we found out her grade...She scored 64.
18. The Promotion
I got promoted (at a McDonald's...wow...) over some other girl. I didn't even know I was being considered until a day or two before the managers voted. I was told to come in the next day in my new uniform and the other girl came in, saw my uniform, and quit on the spot. Her claim was outrageous—she accused me of taking "her" promotion.
I found out from an assistant manager that they were openly considering her and tried to push her toward things she would need to know or do and she would never take the initiative to learn more or do more. I actively tried to learn more (mainly to get out of service and into the kitchen…hate the public) and was well-liked by most of the crew/management and someone randomly tossed my name in the conversation.
19. Don’t Stop Her Now
There was this annoying woman in my department at work back in the early 80s. She was one of those who had already seen it/done it better during any topic of conversation. It bugged me because it seemed to me that the bulk of her claims were products of her imagination, but many of our co-workers thought that "Lynn" was so cool, she knew so many famous people and visited all these exotic places!
Well, she crossed the line with me in 1980 when I was fortunate enough to get front-row tickets to a Queen concert in Detroit via a scalper. I paid $45 each, but it was so, so worth it–that was back in the day when the front-row folks were squished against the stage so that we rested our forearms on it. Both Freddie and Brian shook my hand during the show. Of course, since I was willing to spend that kind of cash to see them, it only makes sense that I was a huge fan and knew a LOT about the band and its history.
Come Monday morning I go to work and talk enthusiastically about seeing Queen so closely and Lynn interjects off-handedly, "Oh, I remember partying with them back in the day when they played small clubs. I remember seeing them at [some small downtown Detroit bar] and playing cards with them backstage later".
I looked her in the eye and replied, "The first time Queen ever played in Detroit was at the Ford Auditorium in February 1975. They've never played club dates in Detroit”.
She just gave me a frozen smile, patted my arm, and walked away. After that, she never interacted with me unless absolutely necessary.
20. We Call That A Flounce
I beat out a guy for a promotion. He was super loud about everything and always talked about basically how awesome/smart he is.
After I became his boss, he stopped taking lunch with the other guys and sulked around the shop until he transferred to another shift in a very dramatic way. It was like when people post they are quitting Facebook but in real life.
I found out later that he got his karma BIG time. He got fired for being a giant jerk to his coworkers. I try not to be petty but I admit I got a chuckle out of it.
21. No Magic Left
My ex-girlfriend was a hostess at a swanky restaurant in Seattle. She was looking down at her book when some people approached the dais and a guy said, “I need a table for 8”.
She said without looking up. “It’s probably going to be at least a 90-minute wait”.
The voice said, “But I’m David Copperfield”.
My ex said, “Then maybe you can make a table appear”. She finished what she was doing. Then when she looked up, her face went white. It was actually David Copperfield.
No table appeared.
22. Gymnasts Are Strong
In high school, a martial arts group performed for us during an assembly in the gym. The lead guy with a microphone was arrogant and full of himself. He was demonstrating how you could lock your arms behind your neck in a hold that can't be separated. Here's an important tip for avoiding embarrassment: never say never.
He asked for someone from the audience to try and break his arms apart. Down from the bleachers came our top male gymnast. The student got behind the "expert" and in a matter of seconds, the student not only broke the hold but dislocated the pro's shoulder in the process.
Best assembly ever.
23. Is That A Good Use Of Your Time, Tim?
One of my coworkers, Tim, was featured in a large publication's article on the overscheduled American child. It followed him and his family about their day as they rushed their children from music lessons to sports teams to a whole bunch of other activities. The parents wouldn't even let the kids fool around in the car–they were told, "Is that a good use of your time"?
The parents were proud. They said it would instill a necessary work ethic for their kids to get ahead in the USA.
That same week, we were on a team conference call, voice only. That's when we heard it—snoring sounds started interrupting the meeting. It finally got so bad that the manager did a roll call.
"Tim"? No answer. Snoring continues. "Tim? Tim? TIMMMMM"!
Everyone starts laughing as Tim startles awake. He never lived it down.
24. Dr. No Name, I Presume
When I was a kid, a new guy showed up at church. He was inordinately proud of the fact that he had a Ph.D. in communications and insisted everyone call him "Doctor" (and he was old enough that it's not like he just got his doctorate). He basically treated everyone else like uneducated rubes because he was a Doctor. This did not turn out well for him.
Well, the neurosurgeon, the anesthesiologist, the radiologist (chief of radiology at the biggest regional hospital!), the three dentists, the two orthodontists, and a handful of other people that I have no idea what they did all started calling each other "Doctor" as well.
Weirdly, Mr. Communications stopped insisting everyone call him Doctor.
25. Good Advice
Me. I got into an argument with some guy and tried to talk tough. I thought it would be two guys talking tough and it would be over.
But he wasn’t bluffing. He wanted to fight. I backed down and apologized.
I learned a humbling lesson that day. This is not high school. Don’t write checks you can’t cash.
26. Awarded For Following Instructions
US Army, basic training, 1988.
We had a certified nut in our platoon that was so hyped on weaponry and shooting he was certain he was going to out-aim us all and get the BRM award. (Basic Rifle Marksmanship, one of several awards given out at the end of basic training). He was always trying to correct the trainers and teachers in our classes. Always hyping up how much of a sniper he was going to be, how many weapons he has, etc.
He had to qualify twice and barely made the cutoff the second time. But it gets better.
I, having never fired a weapon before, followed the class and range training: Got the award.
Him: Didn't say a word the rest of basic training.
27. That’ll Teach Ya
It was my first summer back from college and a friend invited a college bud to come stay. I grew up in a medium-sized town, meaning there was stuff to do, just not a lot of it. So, we typically spent our time outside of town on people’s family land and ranches, having bonfires, riding horses or ATVs, or swimming in one of the rivers. Real semi-country-living kinda stuff.
So, this college friend comes to visit and we decide to show him that side of life there as a way to just hang out, talk, and get to know him. On the first day, we decided to go horseback riding. Our college bud was excited and said he missed being able to ride and talked about all of his experience riding horses, which was great. But the red flags came fast.
Now, on my friend’s land where we were riding, we had to arrange for the stable master to set up and saddle the horses for us (liability reasons), and college bud starts making remarks about how the stable master was securing the saddles, that he should do it differently for one reason or another, he’s critiquing how some people with us are holding their reins, etc. This all isn’t so bad in and of itself, mostly just annoying and rude.
We finally get everyone saddled and settled and are on our way toward the trails. After about an hour, the college bud started to get bored at our slow pace and begged to go faster. Well, there were reasons we were going the pace we were. Not everyone with us was super experienced with horses and the terrain. The trails are long and winding and stretched for literally hundreds of acres. It’s really easy to get lost back there and not every trail is well-traveled.
My friend explained this to him but he was having none of it. He “knows what he’s doing”. Within a second he had made up his mind and with a comically robust “GIDDYUP”! he was off like a shot. And I thought, for about all of two seconds, he thinks he’s got this.
But he didn’t...and it was obvious. His feet left the stirrups, legs splayed on either side of the horse like some derpy starfish as he rode into the woods. After making sure none of the other horses were going to bolt, my friend looked at me, sighed, and said, “Go get him and bring him back”.
I’m a fair rider, not a great rider, but I managed to catch up to him. It would have been absolutely hilarious had it not been so dangerous. He had no control over the horse at a cantering pace and was only still in the saddle thanks to a hope and a prayer, bouncing up and down, legs still splayed, the reins a distant memory in his hands.
Unable to grab the reins without potentially hurting one of us or both, I talked the horse down and used my horse as basically a pace guide until we were in a trot and could get a handle on the situation.
As I was trying to take the reins so he can situate himself, he starts in on me: “I DON'T NEED YOUR HELP, I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING, I WAS JUST HAVING SOME FU–”
Completely absorbed in telling me off for ruining his “good time”, this idiot didn’t realize his face was heading straight for a low-lying branch. It wasn’t a big branch but it was enough to knock him back and flatten him out over the back end of the horse.
I didn’t say a word as I led him back to the group. I didn’t have to. The universe had done its job and the visual alone was enough for him to hang his head. Him with a busted lip and me holding the reins of his horse for the rest of the day.
28. Girls Hit Hard Too
The youth group I was part of from grade 9-12 had some absolutely killer female athletes, to the point of you shouldn't be surprised if a girl completely destroys you in an athletic competition. However, the first weekend of the new people to the group is jokingly called the Grade 9 humbling game because of what typically happens.
Most of the Grade 9 guys come in having dominated most church group sports for the last 4 years. They aren't necessarily surprised when a high school senior guy is making big plays, but they don't expect the girls to be the harder hitters playing tackle football. This entire incident changed their minds completely.
One group saw me, a 6'5, 265 lbs guy get wiped out and do a flip because of the hit by a girl, and all I did was take the train number of the person who solo tackled me. I got back to the huddle and they tried to bug me about being tackled by a girl and I just responded, "Yeah she did that to me, imagine what she could do to you".
They then thought I was just trying to play down what she did. Two plays later, the girls showed they weren't to be taken as lightly as the grade 9 boys did. I'll never forget the guy on the ground wheezing for a couple minutes because the one girl caught him clean in the ribs.
29. Tanks For Nothing
A few years ago my dad argued with a guy delivering some tanks. The guy yelled at him and cussed my dad out, getting inches from his face.
What he did not know was that my dad ran the store and this guy’s father called my dad apologizing and thanking him for his patience. Then the son came back later and apologized to my dad in person with his head hanging.
30. Not The Reaction She Expected
A girl in our choir was absent from musical auditions the day before. She was OUTRAGED I got the part she wanted. She was yelling and stomping around the theater demanding an audition. She sang the audition song in front of everyone (instead of one-on-one like the day before). She thought this was a great idea—but she was sooo wrong.
When she was finished, she asked the group at large if she should have the part and the whole group of peers (like 32 kids) said no. She left the theater and didn’t show up for a couple of days.
31. Mr. Ed Gets Mean
A girl that I boarded with years ago. The barn was a co-op, so all the boarders pitched in on chores. The barn owner was really nice and laid back, and would let us ride her horses, really nice well-trained show horses. You kinda had to know how to ride them though because they were trained to very specific cues.
The barn owner would teach anyone that wanted to learn; she was older and had mobility issues so she saw it as a win/win because her horses got exercise and we got to ride fancy expensive horses most of us would never be able to afford. One long-time boarder worked one of the nicest horses in the barn regularly and the horse was a bit difficult to ride so you really had to bring your A-game but if you knew how to ask him to work he was amazing. But he was a complete jerk if you didn't know how to ride him.
This new boarder fancied herself a top-notch horse trainer. Most of what she spouted was just garbage she was regurgitating from blogs and online forums. The long-time boarder was finishing up working the really fancy horse and had been having a little trouble keeping him on the correct lead that day. The new boarder insisted she could "fix" him. They exchanged a few words, then the barn owner stepped in and said to let her try.
She got on the horse and made a clumsy attempt at getting him to move forward. He took a few steps and stopped. She started thumping on his sides, he took a few steps backward and pinned his ears. We saw her raise the crop and we all knew what was coming...
The horse launched her over the arena fence with one massive buck. I looked over at the owner and she was standing there with a little smirk on her face.
The girl picked herself up off the ground and slinked back into the barn. Never offered to "fix" anyone else's horse after that.
32. Children Will Humble You
My son had been born the day before, and my wife was in bed recovering. I was all cocky because I was able to put him to sleep and did a perfect swaddle. I was able to calm him down in seconds and I was just getting more arrogant by the minute.
I volunteered to change his poopy diaper because I’d been a father for an entire day and clearly an expert at this point. Worst idea ever. Apparently, my beautiful newborn wasn’t finished pooping and not only peed all over my face and chest but he pooped all over my hands.
After that happened I was a little more humble.
33. The Last Samurai
Not me, but a friend of a friend of mine is a certified instructor for some form of Japanese swordsmanship. This person is also short. And a woman.
The number of hyperinflated weebs she's seen walk into her dojo is unreal, and she took great pleasure in popping those egos with lightning speed when they got out their mall katanas and whined that Sensei put a little girl up to test them. The most satisfying part?
Not one of them would last more than a month after the initial encounter.
34. Dude, Where’s My Car?
My family has an old story that always gets retold. This was in the early 1980s. One of my grandfather's cousins was the kind of guy who'd always one-up in conversations: "Oh, I know a better place for dinner". "I know the best everything". "I know a guy here and there, I can get us in". He recently got a brand new Cadillac car and loved to say how it was top of the line.
One fine Sunday, the whole clan went into the city for dinner. The cousin arrived in a flourish, got out of the Caddy, handed the man at the entrance the keys, and $10, and told him to take care of his car. After dinner, he got outside and told the maitre'd to bring his car around. This is when things got bad for him.
"What car, sir"?
"The car I had valeted".
"We don't have a valet".
"Then who did I give my car to"?
Yep. He was pretty quiet the ride back.
35. Art Is Subjective Anyway
So, I went to a performing arts high school. Senior year we had to do a performance for a show based on our major. I wrote, directed, and starred in a scene as I was a theater major. My teacher, Mr. Smith, over the years, had grown to dislike me (originally for what I feel were petty reasons, but I admittedly didn't help once I realized he didn't like me).
My scene was pretty unique in the show because I wrote a script the first week...and didn't change it beyond one or two lines. Other students had major changes, and multiple people completely changed their concepts halfway through. So you'd THINK he'd be grateful that I didn't need much help and handled most of it myself.
Nope. One day, with no real warning, he just lost it. He told me nothing about my scene made sense (duh, it was supposed to be absurdist) and I had to make a ton of changes for it to be any good. It was such a bizarre, random, and bitter rant the entire class was stunned into silence.
Afterward, people asked me what was going on, assuming there had been issues before, but no. He just lost it. I don't like to assume the worst, but all I can figure is that he didn't like it because I did it on my own. Other students were relying heavily on him to make their scenes work, but I never once asked for his help (which he seemed to want originally). It seems he really wanted the ego boost of everyone coming to him for help.
So, from his long rant, he made one good point and I made one minor change...But only one. He was very cold to me after that. But the performance came and...my scene was a hit.
EVERYONE was raving about it, some calling it the best in the show. After the first performance, I was standing in the lobby, still dressed like a 50s housewife, and a bunch of people were complimenting me. I was beaming and then suddenly noticed Mr. Smith watching me. I looked over at him and he just had this really grumpy, defeated expression. He then immediately looked away.
It was a fantastic moment after all the trouble I'd had with him. He noticeably didn't say anything to me, good or bad, after that. Despite doing the same for everyone else.
36. Even Grandma?
I knew this girl who was a part of my friend group back in high school. She started being really harsh to one of the girls in our group and wouldn’t own up to it or apologize in any way so we all cut ties with her. Shortly afterward she moved away. Let me tell you, I have never seen such sudden and strong entitlement come from a person.
This girl then reached out to the girl she’d been so mean to almost a year later and told her she was coming back and she was going to “ruin her life”. She said she was going to rejoin the youth group at our church and spread horrible rumors about her so that nobody would like her anymore and she’d be able to take all of her friends back. Also said she was going to play the victim card and tell everyone that she was the one being harassed.
We shared those messages with our minister and she was promptly banned from that group and never got to show her face there again. She also started posting things about all of us on TikTok, which we reported and ended up getting her temporarily banned from the platform. She wasn’t able to get a job in this town because everywhere she applied there was someone there who knew what she did and told their boss not to hire her. And now her grandma is evicting her and sending her back home.
37. Happy She’s An Ex-Friend
An ex-friend of mine always thought of herself as better than me, mainly when we were in university and she had better grades. She was always a bit condescending and told me I was wrong, explaining things slowly and assuming that she knew better than me.
I let it go because I did not really care—but then things got interesting.
Then one day she was speaking about her salary and how she just got a promotion. We were all happy for her but then she started going around the table and asked how much the others were making.
Everybody was making more than her. When my turn came, I saw a bit of hope that at least I should be paid less than her. But that was not the case, by far. I saw her deflate so fast, she became gray and sad. It made me sad for her because she made herself so unhappy and I could not really help her because the reason she was unhappy was that I was not under her.
38. This Wife Is Savage
My BIL is always preening and bragging about how he's the best. At everything.
At a family dinner with people he hadn't met before, someone asked him if his last name was Italian. He said yes.
Another person said, "Ah, I've heard about those hot Italian lovers". Then came an almost automatic reaction.
Before he could get a word out, his wife looked at him and very clearly said, "Yeah, I've HEARD about them too".
39. Ouch, Bob
I was awarded a contract to train every supervisor in a New England state about the intersection between the Americans with Disabilities Act, the Family and Medical Leave Act, and the Workers Compensation Law. (Also known as the "Bermuda Triangle" of employment law).
I was very pleased with myself.
My friend Bob, who was also a client, was duly impressed with the size of the contract. He then asked about the length of my presentation.
He wondered, if was it possible for me to get him a DVD of my presentation.
I was so thrilled he’d asked. A good friend and a good client. Then he dropped the mic.
Bob added, “…because sometimes at night, I have a little trouble falling asleep”.
40. Kids Say The Darndest Things
A neighbor and I rescued a young lady who was being threatened by her ex-boyfriend. I visited the emergency room afterward for a minor injury.
My daughter, about 13, watched the entire event from our front porch.
When I got home I asked her to help me with a few Band-Aids etc. for some scratches from broken glass. I realize now she was the wrong one to ask.
She replied, “Oh I get it, Captain America can save the whole world, but when he gets an owwie he needs his daughter's help”.
She is a sweet girl and meant it as a joke but it definitely took me down a notch.
41. Kick Those Dreams To The Curb
In my early thirties, I took tae-bo from one of the kids in the Billy Banks videos from the 90s, Daniel, who was then 22. My jumps improved dramatically with some good instruction and hard work. I thought I was super-star good...how delusional of me.
Then Daniel came beside me and his jump was completely over my head when I was at the top of my jump-kick.
I gave up any championship dreams.
42. Doesn’t Know (Or Care) Who He Is
As just a decent young boxer, I was honored to be employed for a month as a sparring partner for Michael Spinks, the (at that time) world champion.
Following my victory by second-round knockout, I went back to the dressing room to quickly wish Michael good luck, while trying to hurry back into the arena and get a good spot to view his bout.
As I was leaving the dressing room, Jesse Jackson complimented me by saying, “Just keep doing it for the Lord, preacher, and the Lord will keep doing it for you!” (my name was “The Pugilistic Preacher”).
Anyway, since Spinks started walking towards the ring, I hurriedly looked for a place to sit.
Crouching down low (so NOT in anyone's way) in around the 5th or 6th row, I suppose I somehow offended a guy who had paid for one of those expensive ringside seats.
In an instant, this cranky, old man spouted a mouthful of curses at me, telling me to sit my butt somewhere else! At that moment, I felt like losing my salvation and knocking the attitude out of him! I felt like, "Hey, you jerk, didn't you just see me flatten that guy? Do you want me to do the SAME TO YOU"?
More than likely, that old goat was just cheering me 10 minutes before, yet now, didn't recognize me in my “Michael Spinks, Heavyweight Champion” sweatsuit.
Moving to a different position on the floor, I took time to slowly digest my "humble pie" as my former employer took five rounds to disassemble Gerry Cooney.
43. Maybe She Should Refer Herself For More Studying
Back in first-year university, we had to write a paper to test how well we’d learned to reference sources for an academic paper. We were scored on referencing, not the content of the paper.
The professor showed the anonymous results to the class and told everyone if they scored below 80%, they needed to get better and referencing because this kind of thing was NOT optional in an academic environment. He also praised the top score in the class (98%).
After class, this stuck-up girl in my class was complaining about her score of 60, saying it should pass, and she should have done better because “she’s a native speaker, so how can I fail”. But that's not even the worst part. She said she was glad she beat all the Asian international students.
I’m an Asian international student.
I was the 98%.
Her face when I told her and showed her my quiz is the best memory I have from uni.
44. She’ll Bench-Press You Too
When I was in middle school, I was very short and generally just looked like a stereotypical 14-year-old girl. One day in gym class we went to the weight room, so I was doing weighted squats (don't remember the exact weight, but probably between 60 pounds and 80 pounds), and this kid started getting all cocky and teasing me for "trying too hard" and basically challenged me to a bench pressing competition.
What he didn't know was that I spent 2 hours in the weight room every morning.
I kicked his butt, it was very satisfying.
45. Probably Good She’s An Ex
My good friend was just leaving the parking lot of my apartment building when his ex showed up with her new boyfriend.
He proceeded to try to show off in his car...and it ended poorly for him. He immediately smashed it into a pole.
It was hilarious.
46. Learned His Lesson
I had a friend in high school who had a bit of an elitist attitude. We were at his place and we were playing board games with our friend group. The conversation wound up on chess and he started talking about how he would have an advantage because chess is a game for the higher classes, him living a middle-class life while I was firmly in the poor section.
As somebody who enjoyed the game, naturally, I had to challenge him to a game—and I'm so glad I did.
It wasn't even a close match and he lost pretty solidly. The look on his face as my lower-class self thumped him in a game meant for his people is rooted firmly in my mind.
The bright side is that he has grown since and has become one of my closest friends. He has yet to play chess against me again though.
47. True Family Love
When I was around 12, I got into a car crash with my mom, sister, and cousin (Jake). Jake was always into roughhousing and was a typical 12-year old-boy who thought that he was the best at everything. We didn't get along when I was younger because I would fight with him while my little sister would usually take his side. Our parents used to say we were like 'oil and water'.
I was sitting in the passenger seat of the car, and my little sister was in the back with Jake. The car in front of us had almost completely wrecked the passenger side of the car, and the doors would not open to let us out. Mom was screaming and the kids in the back were freaking out, but I stayed calm. I knew I had to be the hero. So I laid myself sideways with my head almost in my mom’s lap and kicked the door open (because I had read somewhere that leg strength was stronger than upper body strength). Don't get me wrong, I was terrified, but I was thinking more for myself than my family (as bad as that sounds).
We got onto the side of the road and waited for EMS to come. Luckily no one was hurt, but my sister was sobbing her eyes out while I comforted her. I looked over at Jake, who was standing by himself with his arms wrapped around him and all I remember was opening one arm to him and watching him break down as he walked over and let me hug him. I've never seen him cry like that, and he was totally scared and just wanted to be held.
I held both of them until the ambulance came and I had to be taken to get my ribs checked for bruising. We still make fun of each other and tease to this day, but this is one thing I'll never make fun of him for because he trusted me enough to hold him and calm him down. He's a jerk to me, but I love him.
48. Reaping Your Father’s Sins
A dude in high school had lots of money growing up. He liked to splash it around and bragged about fancy clothes and cars and throwing parties where he would supply the drinks for everyone. I wasn't so much of a friend but we just ran in different circles.
A few years later, a BIG discovery was made—they were so rich because his dad, who was a wealth manager, embezzled money for years from his clients. This was a sort of small community so his clients were all friends and family. It was all over the press that his dad went to jail.
This hit him hard. I ran into him a few years later and he had changed his name, his personality was different, and he even walked with a different posture. I couldn't imagine how much this would have rocked his world. It definitely took his ego down a few notches. I sort of felt bad for him as he was just a product of his environment. He didn't know that it was at the cost of practically everyone around him.
49. Don’t Mess With Little Gray-Haired Women
I live in the DC area. The number of times I have seen men patronize a little gray-haired woman and then learn she is a power player...it's glorious.
My favorite was a backyard barbecue with some friends who sail. You've got everyone from the guy who scrapes barnacles off the bottom of the boats to old Navy dudes to the people who own racing yachts. And you CANNOT tell by looking. These yacht racers dress like they went shopping at the Salvation Army in 1989.
So there we were, watching the kids spray each other with the hose and waiting for burgers, and my friend's new brother-in-law was a lawyer. He wanted everyone to know he was a lawyer. He was swaggering around like, "Well, as an ATTORNEY..."
He was SUPER patronizing to a nice, older lady and a teen girl, then headed over for yet another drink. He was pulling his "I'm A LaWYeR , routine on a guy, and the guy said, "Oh, hey, I have a great person for you to meet"!
He dragged the jerk back over to the older lady and the teen girl and introduced the jerk to the two. That's when the jerk realized he just made a HUGE mistake. He bragged about being a lawyer to the dean of a major law school and Justice Scalia's granddaughter.
I thought the jerk was going to puke.
50. I’m Picturing Judge Judy
The day I got my restraining order against my then-spouse. Everyone says that abusers rarely show up to court, and he had no reason to show up at our hearing.
He did and he was belligerent and volatile.
The judge let him ramble and make an absolute fool out of himself for about ten minutes before she asked him when he had had his last beverage since she could smell him from the bench. He started in on her and she...just ripped him apart.
For the first time in his life, he was forced to silently listen to a woman call him out, and tell him he is an abuser, a user, an addict, and a terrible person in general. In front of his teenage kids, he brought along.
She counted down each previous RO and eviction from all his previous women, and (correctly) said he is the kind of man who chooses vulnerable women to live off of and she sees this as his "job" and that he wasn't going to be getting a "paycheck" from me anymore.
It's been years and he still hates me with a passion for that experience.