God bless Uber drivers, they save our tails when we need it. They rescue us from bars, parties, work, dates, and a whole slew of other places, always ready to go when we are. Like the knights of yore, they ride in on their noble steed ready to take us home safely.
Sometimes one wonders what makes them do it. Surely dealing with people must be tiresome, especially when combined with the stresses of traffic and trying to follow directions. Yet they ride on, always ready to conquer what the next fare may bring. Whether it be those late-night rides, the ones that end in vomit and tears, or otherwise. Uber drivers sure have to be ready for anything. Nothing makes this more obvious than the stories these Redditors shared of the weirdest passengers they’ve ever had to deal with.
Some of them even get a little NSFW…
33. She Really Didn’t Like Deer
I had a passenger roll down the window and scream “SUCK IT” at a deer. She said she really didn’t like deer.
32. Not the Best Way to go About Apologizing
I don’t drive for either of those companies but I had a pretty bizarre fare once. I picked up a guy and a girl midday Saturday for a short ride. The girl seemed drugged out of her mind and was wearing somewhat revealing clothing, so it was pretty clear they’d been partying the night before.
While driving I picked up their conversation which they were not even attempting to hide. It was pretty clear that the guy had a girlfriend who was not the girl in the car and that he had just hooked up with this girl. They were currently heading to his girlfriend to explain what had happened. To be clear, he is bringing the girl he was unfaithful with along to explain to his girlfriend that he just hooked up with her. He tipped well though.
31. That’s Rather Tame
I did a little over 500 trips for Uber last year and the only thing remotely NSFW I experienced was this really, really hot girl asked me to zip up the back of her dress when I picked her up. That was cool.
30. Jersey Shore Realness
Only ever Ubered once. picked up a couple that had been making out as I pulled up and the entire time driving she kept saying how they were gonna “smaaaashhh.”
Dude definitely got lucky that night.
29. Recycling is Very Important
Not totally NSFW but just this Friday I picked up four college-age guys from a bar around 1:15 am who were on their way home and teetering on blackout. It was a surge fare of 1.8x and a ride of about 8 miles of mostly highway so I was pretty pumped to make an easy $10-$20 in 15 mins.
We finished the bulk of the ride when the most intoxicated of the group springs to life and says. “Dude, you do want Taco Bell?” I think he mixed a request with a statement that he wanted Taco Bell. I said sure as I wasn’t going to be staying out much later and thought it was sure to yield a tip in cash. So I take them to a little plaza that contains a gas station, a convenience store, and of course Taco Bell.
This is when that same guy sprung to life once again to say. “No drive-thru, let’s go in.” I told him no but he said he’d give me 10 dollars if I waited so I reconsidered. They step out of the car and this guy huddles his friends for a few seconds before they break off into three different directions as the drunkest guy half slumps and leans against my back bumper; one rushes the Taco Bell and returns with four 5 dollar boxes, another hits the gas station and comes back with white owl cigarillos. When the final man returns it’s with a roll of paper towels, some sort of rivet things, and sticky tack. The drunk guy then unravels the entire roll and shoves it into one of the barf bags that I keep in my back seat and they get into the car for the last 3/4 of a mile home.
Drunk guy is fiddling with it in the back as I talk with the guys about sports and other banalities until I pull up to the house they live in about two minutes later. As I pull in the drunk guy says. “Done!” And then slumped onto his buddy’s shoulder. He hands me 10 dollars and grabs the bag containing the paper. He looked me right in the eye and with an incredibly serious tone he broke through his intoxication for one sentence and said “you must always remember to recycle” and then passed out to the point that his friends had to carry him.
I then got to see what this blacked out genius was up to, a device for smoking multiple blunts that was so precisely made (holes were equidistant, lines were clean, etc). They invited me in to test it but I had to be on my way. As I drove off I wondered what this person would be like in the light of day. What does a sober version of this stoner engineer do, what else is he capable of?
TL;DR: I picked up a drunk quartet and was party to a blacked out, stoner engineering master class and received a stern reminder to always recycle. Favorite fare of all time.
28. Hardcore Lady
I picked up an elderly lady in my 3-series BMW in a rather sketchy part of Memphis at about 8 am on a weekday morning. No big deal right? She gets in and says “All right I need you to take me to work, but first we gotta go to the liquor store.” I say ok and start toward the nearest liquor store, thinking she is just picking something up for after work. On the way there she mentions she works for a repossession company and that they work for a car dealership that intentionally sells cars to people that can’t pay for them. She says she wants to swing by an address on the way to work to see if there is a car she needs to repossess located there. She says the cars usually have GPS, but she thinks the car’s owner has disabled the GPS.
We arrive at the liquor store and the lady goes in and comes out. She gets in the car and before I can ask her not to drink in the car she has downed an entire pint of vodka. At this point I can’t even be mad; I’m flabbergasted. Laughing, I ask the old lady if she even had a chaser. She pulls out a Capri Sun, stabs it with the straw, and starts drinking it. She says “you probably think I’m some sort of alcoholic or something” I reply “I don’t know if you are or not, but at least your up and at ‘em this morning headed to work.”
Then she starts directing me back into the sketchy neighborhood to search for a black Chrysler 300. I make it clear to her that I am only a driver and that if we find this car I am not getting out of my car. She agrees and says she’ll just call a tow truck if we see the car. As we’re cruising this really sketchy area looking for the car, she is getting more and more drunk as the alcohol seeps into her. She keeps asking if every black 4-door car is a Chrysler 300. I’m wondering if she even knows what a 300 is.
I notice we are getting strange looks from the people we drive by as we head down a long dead-end street with a shady looking, gated apartment complex at the end that kinda looks like the street from the movie Training Day. We reach the end and go to turn around and I realize again how sketchy we look cruising around here. If the cops saw us they would assume we were looking for drugs or sex or something illegal. I notice again that everyone sitting outside the apartment complex is staring at us like we are an elephant in the room.
I guess she senses my discomfort, or maybe she had to be at work at 9 am, because she says “Ok, now I feel like I’m ready to deal with these mothereffers, let’s head to (such and such sketchy car dealership).” So we get close to the dealership and she says park over there and produces another pint of vodka and Capri Sun from her bag. She downs half a pint, mentions something about saving some for later, punches a straw in her Capri Sun, says “time to go to work, have a nice day” and exits the vehicle. I’m just sitting there like wtf.
This was a seriously hardcore old lady of probably 65 or 70 years. Or maybe she just looked old bc she drank so much, IDK. Was a pretty nice fare though, with all the driving around we did for an hour.
27. Drunk Kids Are Nasty
Picked up a handful of drunk high school kids at 2 am, they just finished their graduation party and they were hammered. One of them threw up in the back, we had to stop on the side of the highway for him to get everything out of his system, he went behind the bush and did a number two, but he didn’t have any tissue… It was super disgusting the whole way, puke & poop is a surprisingly nasty combination.
26. Quite the Taxi Ride
If it counts, 20+ years ago I drove for a sedan service. I picked up one of the Temptations and took him to get drugs and a hooker. It certainly wasn’t safe for my work at the time, but everything worked out okay.
He came out of a luxury resort and gave me a sketchy address. When we arrived, it was an abandoned convenience store, so he told me he was looking for some “company.” Yeah, I knew where to find that, and along the way, he said he was looking for some “medicine,” too, so we stopped in the ghetto and got him something to “smoke.” Could’ve been weed or crack or anything, I don’t know, and I didn’t ask.
After being told “Go away, cop” more than once, we found a pretty young lady of the evening, he asked where she’s been all night, she said she’s been right there waiting for him, she got in the car, they kissed and groped in the back seat on the way back to the resort, and he gave me a decent tip.
(inb4 the inquiry: no, it was not David Ruffin).
25. Of Course it Was Michelangelo
Well, there was the guy who proceeded to get butt naked in my backseat (while piss drunk) and change into a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle costume…
It was Michaelangelo, for the record.
24. Too Much Information
Not an Uber/Lyft driver, but I did drive for a taxi company. I had a fare where two drunk people who were making out in the back of my cab. This isn’t unusual on its own, happens quite often, just gotta stop them before stuff gets out of hand.
Well, one of them decides to stop making out and says to me “Don’t tell anyone, okay?” Curious, I ask why, he responds “we are cousins and we don’t want our family to find out”…then they went back to making out again. I didn’t once think they could have possibly been cousins, never saw either person before or after. Could have just kept his mouth shut and I’d never have known, Why would you disclose that information to a stranger?
23. Little Songbirds
So my dad is an Uber driver and he says that girls my age—I’m in my early 20s—will drunkenly try to make him go home with them all the time. One time there were three girls who drunkenly were singing to Taylor Swift and they made my dad record them singing the song and then they made him sing some of the lyrics. He showed me the clip of them singing and him singing later it was hysterical. Then they invited him to go to the next bar with them but he had to keep working.
Also one time an Uber driver told me a girl tried to drunkenly make him hook up with her at her house, but he said no cause he’s married. And when she got out of the car she gave him the middle finger and turned around and lifted up her miniskirt and flashed him lol. I guess Uber drivers get lots of ladies.
22. Some Inappropriate
My two stories would have to be a lady who was kinda drunk and kept asking me questions and moaning slightly every now and then. When she got out of the car, I checked the back seat and there was a sharpie, a sticky sharpie, that was obviously used for something.
The other was two strippers that had a long ride and kept daring each other to flash me, give me a back rub, suck my earlobe, that progressively got to the point where one dared the other to hook up with me when we got to their house.
Edit: Yes, I hooked up with the stripper, I had recently broken up with my girlfriend and it was a real ego boost to feel wanted like that by someone that hot. I thought it was implied, sorry for leaving people hanging.
21. The Health Care System is So Messed Up
I picked up a client who said he was on his way to the hospital to get “something” removed. It was very clear by his movements that he had something stuck in his butt. I asked if he needed an ambulance instead but he said he didn’t have insurance so he couldn’t afford it. After I dropped him off and helped him in, I got back in the car and looked back to find a blood stain on the seat.
The morals of the story are 1.) If you’re poor, don’t shove things in your butt that can get stuck. 2.) Never get light gray upholstery in your new car.
20. Don’t Try This at Home
My cousin was a Grab Taxi driver, basically an Asian version of Uber. So in Thailand, we have a TV show called Hormones which is like Degrassi or The Secret Life of the American Teenager and they had a scene where kids were having sex in the backseat of a taxi. Apparently, these kids wanted to try it out just like in the show—they were white, BTW, so he found it funny that they would try it—and started making out and taking off items of clothing.
My cousin said he stopped looking once they started takin’ ‘em off, but he overheard the girl getting frustrated that the guy couldn’t get hard so she put on her clothes and left the car furiously.
Then the guy asked him to take him home lol.
19. Mobile Therapist
I work for a company similar to Uber. Oftentimes you have to play therapist for drunk customers, they will lay out very personal details about their lives to you. One customer told me about how her ex-husband has been hospitalized several times due to complications from alcoholism, and that they told him that the next time he comes in, he’ll likely die. She told me that she really hopes that the ex will die before their 17-year-old son turns 18 because she doesn’t want him to have the responsibility of having to decide to pull the plug.
Another ride started with the customer asking if I played Overwatch, and within 5 minutes she was crying and telling me about her friend who committed suicide.
One ride I couldn’t find the window button—we drive the customers home in their own cars—so the customer reached over for it, very clearly moving her hand across my groin on the way. She also refused to sign her check unless she could write her number on my arm, and slapped my butt as I walked away.
Another customer asked me for change, and I handed it to him as his other hand was on his junk, peeing in his front yard.
ANOTHER customer, whose car interior was absolutely covered in cigarette ash and butts, told me about how her daughter recently got hooked on meth by her boyfriend, and how she hates black men because her black father left her as a child when he went to prison.
I could go on.
18. Just a Little Aiding and Abetting
A mate of mine drives Grab, which is basically a Southeast Asian version of Uber. Once picked up a guy and three girls. Turned out the guy was a pimp and the girls were hookers, and the four were being tailed by the cops for illicit prostitution. And my friend was forced to get involved. Long story short, they got stopped by the cops and my friend explained that it was his birthday and they were going to an orgy for his birthday.
And no, no orgy for him. He did get a nice tip though.
Edit: Next time I better make it clear what tip I am talking about.
17. That’s a Lot of Rides
I’ve done about 1,400 rides for Uber and about 500 for Lyft in the last eight months. I’ve had a few good stories. I’ve had two pukers so far. That’s probably been the most unpleasant part of my job so far.
As far as NSFW that would be the two women passengers in the back seat. One was pretty sober and the other was very much not. The drunk girl, who sounded like she eats cigarettes, decided she wanted to demonstrate what her orgasms sounded like, complete with writhing around in the back seat. My car is not very big to begin with. Me and the sober girl thought it was pretty funny and even though it was a pretty short trip we were given a pretty convincing performance.
16. Above and Beyond the Call of Duty
Not exactly NSFW, but definitely my favorite story.
I picked up a couple in their 30s on St. Patrick’s Day this year at 2 am. They wanted to take about a 35-mile drive at 6.3x surge, so I was about to give the third highest paying fare I’d ever given, a great way to end the night!
They had clearly been drinking like they were 20-somethings since early in the day. The wife—in the front seat—was super apologetic for the first five minutes or so, completely embarrassed about their level of intoxication, while the husband—in the back—was trying to be my new best friend. After five minutes or so though, the Sandman paid them a visit, and they both passed out. I drove for the next 20 minutes in relative peace.
When we arrived in their driveway, the husband was sound asleep, and they had a half inch of wet snow in their driveway, so I took the wife inside first. While on the way in, she upended her purse in the snow, but I was more focused on getting her safely inside. Once we got in, I helped her to the bathroom, and then went to the garage to get a snow shovel. I cleared a 4′ wide path from the garage to the car, so I could get the husband inside (he’s a bigger guy, and I wanted to be safe) and finally got him awake. I gave him my shoulder and got him inside. He begged me “please, just get me to the recliner, I can’t make it to bed” so that’s where we headed. All the while the wife is throwing up with the force of a small waterfall in the bathroom.
I ran outside and grabbed the contents of her purse, which included her phone (absolutely soaked at this point) and came back inside. She begged me to rice her phone, so I started to dig through her cupboards for a bag and rice. While digging I came across their meds and pulled some Advil for them. I riced her phone then gave them both Advil and water and told them to take more in the morning, they were gonna need it. Then I locked the door and showed myself out. In the end, I was dropping them off for well over half an hour, but the fare was awesome and the day was my second best day of driving, so it didn’t really bug me.
The kicker? They left me a 5-star review the next day: “Pretty OK guy.”
Best ride ever.
15. Secret You Can’t Unlearn
I picked up a drunk couple from a bar. As soon as they got in the car, the woman was telling me about the cocaine they just did in the bathroom.
She then went on to tell me that she was his maid and they were hooking up and his wife didn’t know. She would wear the wife’s lingerie. Also, she was screwing around with the wife.
I was taking them to the guy’s secret apartment where he did cocaine and screwed his maid.
He felt a little bad for me, so he gave me all the cash that he had as a tip… Seven dollars. I guess he spent it all on coke.
14. That’s a First
Picked up this very tall and somewhat muscular looking black girl carrying what looks like a tackle box. She was dressed somewhat… risque. Gets in the car and I said hello, she responds with a pretty deep voice. We started the trip and she was telling me that she was on her way to do makeup for one of her friends, and her phone rang.
She answered the call, and it started off pretty standard, I wasn’t really paying attention. Suddenly I just hear “Girl, what’re you worried about? You have a great-lookin’ clit.”
Hmmm. Alright then. Where’s this going? “No, Derek is super sweet, it’ll be fun I promise.” “No girl, he’s just gonna come through the doors…” “Yes, I’ll be there. I’ll be outside the doors as one of the topless guards. Anyway, he’s going to pan through doors, focus in on you on the bed. Just start playing with yourself, nothing you haven’t done before.” “Yes, after a few minutes of doing that you call for the guards, and I come in and we do it.” “Yes I brought the strap-on, it’s in the makeup box.”
And that’s the story of the person planning their porno during an Uber ride…
13. Glitter Bomb
This is probably the funniest ride I’ve had. I picked up a group of 3 guys and a girl from a pretty well known gay bar/club. When they walk up to my car, two hop in the back first then the other girl and guy can’t decide where they want to sit front or back. Well, she basically tells the guy to behave and she sits in the back seat.
We get to driving, I notice this guy is covered in glitter and is what I guess they call a “bear.” He’s a bigger guy with a beard makes a comment on how I’m cuter than the first uber the ordered. The girl starts to agree. I guess this reminds him of the guy he left at the club and starts talking about the “most perfect Canadian penis he’s ever seen” back at the club. His friends tell him to call him and he gets upset stating it will never happen. They fight, yelling back and forth. All the while he complains he missed this junk. Switches the junk’s nationality from Canadian to Australian a couple of times too. I guess I never heard a really thirsty gay guy before.
Edit: Also there was glitter in that seat for weeks after.
12. That’s Networking
Got off my shift at work, app designer in his early 40s picks me up to take me home. We’re shooting the breeze on the way and he asks me if I smoke, which I do. I invite him in to smoke a bowl and the next thing I know this dude is grabbing a half ounce from his trunk and sitting in my backyard smoking me out for a couple hours. Now he’s my drug dealer.
11. Nicaraguan Nightmare
Not exactly NSFW, but super weird. Obligatory sorry for bad English.
I was in Miami last year and got into an Uber pool as the broke college student I am. The driver picks up a severely overweight woman in her 40s who was really drunk. She was Latina and didn’t speak the best English.
She asks me where I was going and I tell her Miami Beach. She starts telling me she was set to get married in Miami Beach next month, but her fiance died. She said she moved in with her fiance’s parents because her fiance was taking care of her sick mom, but after he died the parents asked her to move out and don’t give her money for important stuff (like alcohol).
She said her fiance was 23, she said: “I like young guys, how old are you papi?” She moved closer to my side of the backseat, and I answered “22” while looking at my phone. She asked a couple of other things but I kept looking at my phone and answering as shortly as possible. She apparently took the hint, so she started trying to impress me.
She said she was born in Nicaragua and went to a school full of geniuses that prepares them to rule the world. She also said that Trump wants to build a Chinese wall to keep all the Chinese away and that the real reason why the US has nukes is that they have been bombing the Arctic to steal the oil. She told me how this school taught them how to seduce presidents, and how to rule countries. But she couldn’t deal with the pressure her parents put her through on that school, she did not want to be president of Nicaragua, so she decided to escape and ran to the US.
I told the driver I needed to drop me at a CVS because I forgot I needed to buy something, and then walked for 35 minutes to my home because I was so uncomfortable with the situation.
10. Wild Winter Wonder
One time, I was in a Lyft during a blizzard. We arrive at a couple of lanes divided by one of those flat concrete medians. Both lanes are gridlocked. Lyft driver goes “Watch this!” and drives up the median while the cars on both sides honk furiously. I protest, and he brags that he is a “big man in the city” and the cops won’t touch him. Anyway, it’s not an erotic story, but I’d say it was definitely not safe for anyone involved.
9. The Man in Black
This wasn’t me, and it isn’t NSFW but I think it’s worth sharing.
One driver told me that one time this guy got in his Uber without putting in the destination. This guy was in his mid-40s, wearing an all-black suit and wearing sunglasses. Didn’t take them off. He also had a briefcase that he put on his lap.
Anyway, so he sits in the car and points forwards. So the driver takes off. They didn’t speak for the entire journey. It was about 40 minutes. To tell the driver where to go the passenger just pointed left or right.
Anyway, the driver tells me that he was losing it the entire time and genuinely thought he was going to die, but was too scared to stop.
So finally they pull over at this really big old house that he described as “the most Mafia looking house I’ve ever seen”
The guy takes off his glasses, looks at the driver and says “th- th- th- thank y- you v- very m- m- much.”
Turned out he just had a really big stutter and nothing else.
8. Not So Subtle
Former cabbie here. Picked up a couple from a bar/restaurant and they were going to a friend’s party. They didn’t seem that plastered but about halfway into the 20-minute ride, I hear the telltale signs of some hands-in-pants play in the back seat. Ah, whatever, it happens on the sly every so often and I figure people like the idea that they’re being slick in public so I let it go. Well, eventually it sounds like she’s got her hands in his pants and then straight up just starts straddling him. They go at it HARD for about five minutes and then we get to the drop-off.
I say something like “As long as you guys didn’t make a mess back there, we’re all good.” Dude looks horrified like he’s thinking “Omg did he notice my GF just boned my brains out?” Yes, bro, you guys were the opposite of subtle. The girl is blushing and as red as her lipstick. Now I’m just laughing to myself because they actually thought they were being stealthy.
It was a $15 fare and the guy hands me $40 and says “Hey man, thanks for being cool about it.” Easy money and a good story to tell. Worth it IMO.
TL;DR People did the deed in the back of my cab. Guy gave his GF the tip and gave me a different kind of tip.
7. Dave’s a Good Guy
Wasn’t really NSFW but on my second day doing Uber one of the clients was on house arrest, Dave. Dave was a cool guy. He wanted me to buy him some wine and smokes from the gas station, he even trusted me with his card and PIN. When I get back I decide to just have a smoke with him. That turns into us doing tai chi in his backyard at 2 am. Really cool dude Dave was. Hope he turned his life around.
6. They’re the New Flags
Picked up a group of young ladies during a bachelorette party. The bride-to-be sits in the front and while driving to their destination, she rolls down the window and whips out a giant dildo for all of downtown to Chicago to see.
5. Safe Neighborhood I See
I was in Santa Ana, Calif looking for a guy I was supposed to pick up. He lived in a large cul-de-sac with a small park in the center. It happened to be later in the evening when I went to pick him up. I go through the cul-de-sac once pretty slowly as I can’t find his house.
I decided to do a second round of the cul-de-sac and when I get a quarter of the way through two guys emerge from the park and one of them pulls out his pistol and asked, “what the hell you doing in my neighborhood.” I decide to act really calm and just let him know that I’m with Uber and was unable to find a passenger and who I was looking for. He says, “oh you looking for ‘Random Name’ he’s at the top of the cul-de-sac blue house.” I thanked him for his help and canceled on my rider.
4. Well That Was a Close One
This one isn’t really NSFW but it’s the reason why I stopped working for Uber.
It’s about 10:30 pm. I get a request and accept it. It’s a 20-something-year-old girl just getting off work at a retail clothing store. She needs a ride to her home, about 35 minutes outside the city limits. Cool, long ride = more money. Get to her house, she gets out and I drive away. Now, I’m about 25+ miles away from the city so I don’t really expect to get any hits out there. I’m about to head back in when I get another request. This one is another 30 minutes further outside the city limits. Hmm…maybe this person wants to go downtown. That’s an hour long ride = $$$. I’m down. Start heading their way. It’s a beautiful night so I cruise the whole way with my windows down.
Long, winding, narrow roads. No street lights for miles. Finally, I come across the property. It’s a ranch-style place. I turn in. Still no lights. Pitch black. I drive in for about two miles with no signs of a house. I’m doubting my GPS at this point. Oh well, I’m already this far. Keep going.
Oh cool, a house! No lights on. Something doesn’t seem right. I swing my car around to face the exit, leave my car in drive and rest my foot on the brake, just in case, and waited for a while. Nothing. Let me give the guy a call.
He answers. Sounds confused.
“Hey, I’m your Uber driver, I’m outside. Take your time, I’m here whenever you’re ready.”
“Uber? I didn’t request a ride.”
“Hmm? I’m at ###XXXXX, Texas. Your address and information come up on my app.”
“Texas? I’m in Indiana. I’ve never been to Texas. Please don’t charge me.” Hangs up.
At that moment, I felt the already pitch black night get darker. I turn down the radio. My window was still open and so I started listening.
You know that sound of a dirt road when somebody is walking on it? How it crunches and you can hear every step? Imagine that sound, but there are two sets of feet. And they’re running. Getting louder. I look out my rearview mirror and the only light is from the red parking lights of my car.
Two men. All black clothes painted red by my brake lights. Sprinting. Getting closer. Getting louder.
I slammed on the gas, my car threw pebbles and rocks at them as I semi-burned out and I hauled ass as fast as I could out of that property. Got back on that winding road, followed it all the way to a well-lit gas station, shifted to park, and sat there, stunned. What just happened?
I tried following up with Uber. Nothing really came of it. To this day I’ll always have to wonder what happened that night.
3. But…What Happened?
A few months ago this lady came into my car whilst busily talking on her phone: “Yeah you can’t tell anyone on the team yet. No no, I haven’t told anyone at all.”
I was secretly eavesdropping, as I usually do, trying to figure out what kind of job she had.
“The details are kinda gruesome. The poor thing was lying there for a while after it happened because there was no one around. These guys took everything from her and tried to steal her car but they apparently ran over her and they just booked it. Her body was practically split in two under one of the wheels. It was only a couple hours later someone saw it and called us. She was still alive when we got there. Hey, listen I gotta go. We’ll talk more soon.”
We had reached her destination: church. She got out of the car with a quick thank you.
2. What a Terrible Topic to Bring Up
Not exactly NSFW, but still a crazy experience that happened to my brother.
He is a Lyft driver, and one day he was picking up an OR nurse from work and taking her home. She lived kind of far away so they needed to take the freeway to get to it. They start shooting the breeze, and my brother starts talking about how when he was a baby he had open-heart surgery at the same hospital that she works in. Funny enough, this nurse has been in the OR during many open-heart surgeries, so she knows a lot about them. She starts talking about them and eventually goes into pretty graphic detail about how the surgery is done.
Now, my brother has this problem where he passes out very easy while discussing or seeing medical procedures. He’s done it three times before; once where he watched himself get an IV, once from seeing the pin in his toe after he had foot surgery, and once while they were discussing how to put a catheter in during EMT training (he wanted to be a firefighter).
So, after a little bit of hearing about the surgery, the nurse notices the car veering off to the left, crossing over a lane. She looks over at my brother and sees him passed out cold behind the wheel. She starts screaming and the car ends up veering off into a ditch on the side of the freeway. The nurse apparently forgets all her training, and just books it once the car stops. Apparently, the smell coming from the deployed airbags smelled like smoke to her and she thought the car was going to blow up. My brother and the nurse were both physically fine, but his car was completely totaled.
TL;DR: My brother is a Lyft driver and he passed out while driving with a customer on the freeway.
1. Takes a Turn for the Incest
Not a driver but a story told to me by a driver after dropping off his previous passengers. This was when I was at uni. I couldn’t bother waiting for a bus home so I hired an Uber. Luckily there was a guy nearby dropping off a guy and a girl. I knew them, still FB friends with them. They got out and I got in. I said “Hi” to them and chatted for a few seconds. They said they were going to study for a bit then go to the library to meet up with her boyfriend. I was tired so I just told them to have fun and I’d see them in class the next day.
The driver overheard most of this talk and said he was surprised the girl had another boyfriend. I asked why and he said she and the guy who was just with her were being very flirty, touchy and kissing on the way over. I was gobsmacked a little, saying no that’s impossible. I laughed a bit and told him he must have imagined it. He said no he saw them being very affectionate with each other. I’m just sitting back there shocked and not knowing what to say. He said, “I’m sorry to tell this to you but your friend might be kind of a you-know-what if she’s cheating on a boyfriend.”
I’m still trying to process what I’ve been told. A little while later he drops me off at home. Before I get out I tell him, “I’m sorry I seem a bit shocked but my friends, the guy and girl you just dropped off at the uni, they’re brother and sister!”
He was like “Are you serious?” Almost as shocked as I was. I wasn’t completely sure whether what the driver told me that day was the truth or not., For a while I convinced myself he was lying to me and knew they were brother and sister, but I noticed other stuff afterward that kinda confirmed it.