King James V: A Royal Mess
King James V of Scotland was the nephew of King Henry VIII…and it showed. As a baby, James could never escape drama. As a young man, he began causing scandals all on his own. From being kidnapped by his evil stepfather to enacting a chilling revenge on an entire family, James’s life was a wild ride, right up until his mortifying end.
1. He Was Henry VIII’s Nephew
James V was born to rule. Coming into the world in April 1512 at Linlithgow Palace, he was the only surviving legitimate child of King James IV of Scotland. Not only that, but his mother was Margaret Tudor, daughter of King Henry VII of England and sister to the infamous King Henry VIII.
Indeed, James seemed to inherit the Tudor flair for tragedy.
After Hans Holbein the Younger, Wikimedia Commons
2. He Was An Infant King
When James was just 17 months old, his world turned upside down. His father was slain in the Battle of Flodden in September 1513, turning the infant boy into the King of Scotland. In order to keep the court from devolving into chaos, his mother Margaret took over as regent, albeit on the stipulation that she not remarry.
Except, well, she was a Tudor too, and couldn’t resist disaster.
Unknown authorUnknown author, Wikimedia Commons
3. His Mother Made A Bad Decision
In August of 1514, less than a year after James’s father passed, his mother did remarry…and she made a bad choice. Margaret fell in love with the almost sociopathically magnetic Archibald Douglas, the 6th Earl of Angus, whose own uncle called him “young witless fool”. All the same, Margaret installed him as James’s new stepfather, much to the horror of the court. It had far-reaching consequences.
Daniel Mijtens, Wikimedia Commons
4. He Was Torn From His Family
Margaret’s rash decision threw baby James’s nascent rule into utter turmoil. Fearing the rising power of the Earl of Angus’s family, the court used the “Do Not Marry” rule to kick Margaret out as regent and replace her with John, Duke of Albany. It was a hostile takeover. With Margaret not budging, the Duke besieged Stirling Castle, forcing her to hand over the toddler to him and separating mother and child for two years.
It was a rough start for James, but it somehow got worse.
5. He Was A Captive King
James V spent the next years of his life in a gilded cage. Although he was surrounded by footmen dressed in his colors of red and yellow, poets who wrote him nursery rhymes, and tutors who taught him languages and royal comportment, all this was done under the watchful eye of the Duke of Albany and his men. The Duke, after all, knew his power lay in holding and controlling the boy king.
But beyond the palace walls, upheaval was coming.
6. They Fought Over Him
Throughout James’s “tutelage” with the Duke of Albany, his mother Margaret kept trying to elbow her way back into the regency and back to her son. Making matters more tense, she and James’s stepfather the Earl of Angus quickly fell out (mostly due to him living with another woman while spending his wife’s money) and were soon headed for an annulment.
So while James sat in his pretty little rooms with his pretty little poems, the three most powerful adults in his life—his mother Margaret, his regent Albany, and his stepfather Angus—were about to take all this peace away from him.
Unidentified painter, Wikimedia Commons
7. His Mother Staged A Coup
In 1524, the year James V turned 12, head-spinning changes came for the boy king. His mother finally deposed the Duke of Albany as regent, raised her son prematurely to his “full” powers, and then took over as chief councillor to the King. It was a change in name, but the tween James was still far from a real monarch. In fact, his mother now had possibly even more influence than when she was regent.
She was also willing to defend this influence to the death.
probably Gerard Horenbout, Wikimedia Commons
8. His Mother Attacked His Stepfather
Everyone knew that James V was still too young to properly make royal decisions, and everyone was still salivating to take advantage of this weakness. Soon after Margaret Tudor’s coup of her son, James’s stepfather Angus showed up to Edinburgh Castle with armed men—whereupon Margaret fired cannons on her estranged husband.
But this was one family feud that wouldn’t die out.
The water of the Ruili River, Wikimedia Commons
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9. He Was In A Royal Custody Battle
With Scotland falling to bits over their child monarch, the government eventually decided on a “shared custody” model for James to soothe the feuding. James was to spend a portion of each year with each of the various factions, making sure that no one felt left out from reaching their full manipulation potential.
It wasn’t a very good idea to begin with, but no one predicted the catastrophe to come.
10. He Had An Evil Stepfather
James’s stepfather Angus was, as you might be sensing, not a very honorable man. So when he got his turn at custody of James, he put a vicious plan into action. At the end of the period he was supposed to be hosting James, Angus simply refused to give up the King. Suddenly, James was a virtual prisoner again.
This time, though, James wasn’t exactly a child anymore. This presented new problems.
11. He Was A Spoiled Brat
The Earl of Angus wanted to keep James V under his thrall and distracted from truly claiming his throne, but this was easier said than done with a teenager. First, Angus plied James with all manner of gifts, staged yet another ceremony where James got his “full” kingly powers, and in general tried to keep the young boy occupied. But James was finally getting wise.
12. He Loathed His Captor
Although James V certainly didn’t mind some aspects of his pampered life with Angus, he still understood it was captivity. Accordingly, he developed a deep and abiding hatred for the Earl, who soon had to work twice as hard to keep the King happy. Casting about for new pleasures for the boy who had it all, Angus landed on a desperate idea.
Richard Burchett, Wikimedia Commons
13. He Was Introduced To The Underworld
James was a bored adolescent trapped in a tower by his evil stepfather, but the next development was the opposite of a fairy tale. In another attempt to distract the monarch, Angus introduced the boy to paid women, a pleasure that the teenager was very eager to partake in. As it turned out, a little too eager.
Malcolm Manners from Lakeland FL, USA, Wikimedia Commons
14. He Was A Notorious Lover
Over the next few years, James developed a more-than-healthy appetite for women in general, and he would become infamous for his string of mistresses—as well as his illegitimate children. We have no way of knowing exactly how many love children he had, but history has confirmed nearly 10, with the first being born around 1529, when James was just 17.
Still, even dangling women at James wouldn’t work for long.
Internet Archive Book Images, Wikimedia Commons
15. He Made A Great Escape
There were numerous outside attempts to break James V free from the Earl of Angus, but in 1528, the teenager took matters into his own hands. In May of that year, James took on a disguise and managed to slip away from Angus and rush toward where his mother was, at Stirling Castle.
From then on, James didn’t look back—unless it was to get revenge.
16. He Went Scorched Earth
James utterly loathed the Earl of Angus, and he made sure to get payback. One of the first things he did as the true King of Scotland was to forbid the Earl or any of his family to come within seven miles of his royal person. He then set about purging his court of Angus’s followers, charging the Earl with treason and eventually chasing him out of Scotland. Yet even this wasn’t enough.
The water of the Ruili River, Wikimedia Commons
17. He Never Forgot A Slight
James’s hatred for the Earl of Angus burned brightly for decades, and extended even to Angus’s sister, Lady Janet Douglas. The year he escaped, James had Lady Douglas charged with abetting her brother in holding him captive, and although this charge was dropped, James didn’t forgive, and he didn’t forget.
A decade later in 1537, after learning of some new trumped-up conspiracy allegations against her, James didn’t hesitate to burn her at the stake for treason. But for all this payback, the years of captivity marked James.
Hurohukidaikon, Wikimedia Commons
18. He Was Messed Up
Being someone’s plaything will leave scars on anyone, and James didn’t escape his royal puppetry unscathed. Reportedly, James was intelligent but also highly anxious, and could swing back and forth between deep depression and abundant energy in the blink of an eye—tendencies that his years with Angus certainly didn’t help.
All the same, he was also King of Scotland, and now that he was free, he had had to swallow all his trauma…and find a bride. Unsurprisingly, it was a disaster.
19. He Was Supposed To Have A French Bride
Since James was a child, treaty agreements meant he was supposed to marry one of King Francis I of France’s daughters. There were just two problems. Francis’s youngest daughter, Margaret, was still much too young to marry off. Meanwhile the eldest daughter, Madeleine of Valois, had a poor constitution, spent much of her time in the more temperate Loire Valley, and Francis was terrified the Scottish weather would kill her.
So James began looking elsewhere, for now.
Jean Clouet, Wikimedia Commons
20. He Almost Married His Mistress
For a time, James and his advisors pursued a multitude of other options that included many of the most eligible noblewomen in Europe, from Catherine de Medici to James’s cousin, Henry VIII’s daughter Mary Tudor. James, for his part, spent most of these years begetting more illegitimate children with his mistresses, and even briefly considered marrying one of these mistresses, Margaret Erskine, instead.
By 1536, James had something like nine children to his name—but he still needed one wife.
Attributed to Germain Le Mannier, Wikimedia Commons
21. He Got A New Bride
In March of 1536, a final contract was drawn up for James’s marriage—this time to Mary of Bourbon, the daughter of a French duke and King Francis’s current best bridal candidate. Francis still wasn’t budging on his eldest daughter Madeleine of Valois, but had sweetened the deal by setting Mary up with a dowry fit for a princess.
Except she wasn’t a princess, and this made all the difference to James.
Unknown authorUnknown author, Wikimedia Commons
22. He Tested His Future Wife
In September of 1536, James went to France to meet his supposed bride in person, but he didn’t go with an open heart. Instead, he played a trick on the poor girl. Dressed up in disguise, he met with Mary to get her measure before she knew he was a king, and came away predictably unimpressed. Then he found a way to get what he wanted all along.
Jean Clouet, Wikimedia Commons
23. He Nagged The King Of France
After meeting with and dismissing Mary of Bourbon, James traveled south to where Madeleine of Valois was staying—and found the delicate woman to be everything he was dreaming of in a bride. As it happened, Madeleine also fell for him, and they began all but begging her father to let them marry.
Francis, still extremely reluctant, eventually gave into his daughter’s desires. He would regret it.
Jean Clouet, Wikimedia Commons
24. His Wife Fell Ill
In January of 1537, James and Madeleine married at Notre-Dame de Paris, followed by months of celebrations and travels to various French cities. Even then, the writing was on the wall: Before Madeleine even left her home country, she had fallen ill, and then in May she braved the harsh journey over to Scotland.
She wrote to her father that June from Scotland that she was feeling better, but fate had other plans.
Ali Sabbagh, Wikimedia Commons
25. He Had A “Summer Queen”
A month after her reassuring letter, Madeleine was dead before she turned 17. The teenage “Summer Queen” passed in James’s arms at Holyrood Palace of tuberculosis, and James informed King Francis of the (foreseeable) tragedy by writing of “votre fille, ma tres chere compaigne” (“your daughter, my very dear companion”).
After getting everything he wanted, James now had nothing again. But he didn’t appear to have learned his lesson.
Corneille de Lyon, Wikimedia Commons
26. He Was Owed A New Bride
After Madeleine’s passing, James had the audacity to dip back into the same well and ask King Francis if he could now marry his youngest (and only surviving daughter) Margaret. This time, Francis didn’t crack. Instead, he offered Mary of Guise, a recent widow of a French Duke.
It was essentially the same deal as with Mary of Bourbon, but this time James knew not to push his luck—besides, Mary had several things going for her.
Joos van Cleve, Wikimedia Commons
27. His Prospect Was Strong
One of Mary of Guises’s biggest draws was that, according to one of James’s men who saw her, she was “stark [strong], well complexioned, and fit to travel”—not qualities that Madeleine of Valois had exhibited during her short life. More than that, rumor had it that James had met the strapping Mary of Guise on his previous trip to France and she had been a runner-up to Madeleine in his affections.
But James soon found out that there was tight competition for Mary.
Attributed to Corneille de Lyon, Wikimedia Commons
28. He Had A Family Rivalry
Although King Henry VIII over in England was James’s maternal uncle, the King of England and his nephew shared an extremely tense relationship, partly because Henry supported James’s despised ex-stepfather the Earl of Angus, and partly because while Henry was notoriously bringing about the Reformation and closing down monasteries in England, Scotland was still firmly Catholic.
So when Henry heard that his nephew was seeking the hand of Mary of Guise, he decided to stir the pot.
Royal Collection, Wikimedia Commons
29. Henry VIII Tried To Steal His Wife
Men in the 16th century could be deliciously petty, and Henry VIII was the paragon of petty. Since his third wife Jane Seymour had just passed, Henry VIII cut in front of James and asked for Mary’s hand, more in an attempt to frustrate his nephew than to make himself happy, though Henry also reportedly told an ambassador that he was a big man who needed a big wife.
Mary, however, was quick to snap back. Referring to the execution of Henry’s second wife Anne Boleyn, she said, “I may be a big woman, but I have a very little neck”. Not that any of this made it easier for James’s pursuit of Mary.
Art Gallery of South Australia, Wikimedia Commons
30. His Bride Didn’t Want Him
Even though Mary had already turned down one king, James likely thought his suit was the ultimate compliment to the widow. Nothing could be further from the truth. Though King Francis wrote to Mary and all but insisted she marry James, Mary was aghast and alarmed at the thought of leaving her country and her young son from her first marriage.
Once more, though, James got what he wanted.
After Joos van Cleve, Wikimedia Commons
31. He Had A Second Royal Wedding
Although it may have taken a carefully worded and encouraging letter from James, Mary of Guise finally did agree to marry the King of Scotland, and they tied the knot in person in June of 1538. James was 26 years old, his new bride was 23, and it seemed they had all the time in the world to make heirs. At first, it couldn’t have gone better.
Unknown authorUnknown author, Wikimedia Commons
32. He Had An Heir And A Spare
Within just a few years of the marriage, Mary of Guise had already given James two sons: James, Duke of Rothesay, who was born in May of 1540, and Robert, Duke of Albany, who was born the following April. The birth of the little heir the Duke of Rothesay was particularly celebrated, with an opulent baptism taking place at St Andrews.
But nine days after Mary gave birth to her younger son, disaster struck.
Unknown authorUnknown author, Wikimedia Commons
33. He Lost Two Children In One Day
Within a bare 14 hours, James lost everything again. On April 20, 1541, his youngest son, infant Robert, perished. Then, in a cruel twist of fate, the baby’s older brother also perished the very next day, on April 21. James and his wife were thrown into sorrow over their boys—but as king, James couldn’t take a single day off.
34. He Thought He Had Time
Both James’s mother Margaret Tudor and Mary’s mother Antoinette de Bourbon comforted their children, but they were also sharply aware that Scotland now needed new heirs as soon as possible. Indeed, one of Antoinette’s “comforts” to her daughter was that the couple was still young, and had time to produce more children.
Little did they know, they were running out of time.
Leonard Limousin, Wikimedia Commons
35. He Planned An Important Meeting
The same year the royal heirs perished, the strained relations between James’s Scotland and Henry VIII’s England got a glimmer of hope. Since 1536, both monarchs had been talking about a great diplomatic meeting to heal their wounds, and in 1541 Henry let it be known that he was going to travel to the north of England with his new (fifth) wife Catherine Howard. Since he was going to be near the Scottish border, he invited James to meet him there.
Instead of a peace meeting, Henry VIII got the Tudor period’s biggest snub.
Hans Holbein the Younger, Wikimedia Commons
36. He Stood Up The King Of England
Henry, his wife, and his men waited for a full 10 days for James, but he simply never showed. Although James, having just lost his legitimate heirs, was likely fearful of kidnapping by the hostile English forces, Henry didn’t see it the same way, and was outraged at being stood up. More than that, he felt it meant only one, dangerous thing.
Hans Holbein the Younger, Wikimedia Commons
37. He Was Catholic To A Fault
Over the years, James had turned increasingly away from the Reformation that Henry VIII was building in England. During his reign, James even persecuted a number of Protestants for heresy, and refused again and again to close the Scottish monasteries as Henry had done in England. So when the Scot skipped the 1541 meeting, Henry could only conclude that James was announcing his firm alliance to Catholicism, not to mention England’s Catholic enemy France.
Their relationship deteriorated at the exact wrong moment.
Unknown authorUnknown author, Wikimedia Commons
38. His Mother Met A Sudden End
Just after the meeting-that-never-was, James’s mother Margaret passed, likely from complications of a stroke, at the age of 51. It was a mess in more ways than one: Her health took a sudden downturn, and James didn’t even make it to her bedside before she died. More than that, as Margaret thought she would recover, she hadn’t bothered to make a will.
James, for his part, took this opportunity to betray her.
39. He Refused Her Last Wishes
In her final moments, Margaret had made her last wishes clear: She wanted James to reconcile with his ex-stepfather the Earl of Angus and to give her possessions to her daughter by the Earl, James’s half sister Margaret Douglas. James, forever hateful of Angus, didn’t listen in the slightest, and instead took his mother’s assets for his own use.
But karma was coming for him.
40. His Family Feud Turned Violent
With the passing of James’s mother, Scotland’s last true diplomatic tie to England and King Henry VIII was gone, and in its place was only the animosity of uncle and nephew. It triggered a calamity. Before long, a full-fledged conflict broke out between the two countries, with James’s forces winning a decisive victory at the Battle of Haddon Rig in August 1542.
But James had more to think about now than war.
Follower of Hans Holbein the Younger, Wikimedia Commons
41. He Was Expecting Another Heir
During this time, James’s wife Mary of Guise had fallen pregnant again, and the thought of an heir coming made the King of Scotland particularly bullish. The Scots insisted on delaying a peace meeting with Henry until Mary delivered the baby, a stipulation that only angered the red-blooded Henry VIII further.
That autumn, Henry had his army marching toward Scotland, and James was busy dreaming up his own invasion of England. It would all come to a head at the Battle of Solway Moss.
42. He Suffered A Historical Embarrassment
On November 24, 1542, James’s men—James himself was not there—suffered a humiliating defeat at Solway Moss. Although the Scots had numbers on their side, the command and communication structure broke down, and the Scottish began to flee as the English army captured their artillery and royal standard in a routing loss.
James’s pride took a hit, but he was about to lose so much more.
Andrew Smith, Wikimedia Commons
43. He Fell Sick
On December 6, in the wake of the defeat at Solway Moss, James V traveled to Falkland Palace to regroup and plan his next steps. But a darker fate awaited him there. For weeks, James had been complaining of illness in his letters to his heavily pregnant wife, and he now took ill again. In fact, his immune system was a complete mess.
Stephencdickson, Wikimedia Commons
44. His Immune System Was Compromised
Although only 30 years old, James V had been suffering from ill health on and off for nearly a decade. In 1533, he suffered from a “sore fois [face]” and then the next year of “pox” and a fever. Most recently, in 1540, he had written to Mary to say he had been as sick as he had ever been. So when he fell ill that fall, he didn’t stand a chance.
Corneille de Lyon, Wikimedia Commons
45. He Got News Of His New Baby
Within days, James V of Scotland was on his deathbed in Falkland Palace. It was there he heard the last good news of his life. His wife Mary had given birth to another child, a little girl who would grow up to become Mary, Queen of Scots. But by the time James learned of his heir’s birth, he also knew it was too late.
Stephencdickson, Wikimedia Commons
46. He Made A Prophecy
Upon hearing of little Mary, James V reportedly said “It cam wi' a lass, and it will gang wi' a lass," or “It began with a girl and it will end with a girl,” apparently in reference to the way the Stewart dynasty in Scotland started with Marjorie Bruce, daughter of Robert the Bruce, coming to the throne, with a prediction that his daughter would be the last Stewart ruler.
She wasn’t—but things did come full circle for James.
47. History Repeated Itself
On December 14, 1542, James V of Scotland died, and history repeated. Just as he had only been 17 months old when his own father died and made him king, his infant girl Mary was now Queen of Scotland at just six days old—the youngest monarch ever in Great Britain—starting a new cycle of regencies and court infighting.
But there’s one thing people get wrong about James’s end.
Francois Clouet, Wikimedia Commons
48. He Made One Mistake With Huge Consequences
Popular myth says that James V suffered a nervous breakdown after his men’s defeat at the Battle of Solway Moss, and that this is what ended up cutting him down in his prime. The truth is much more disgusting. It’s likely James drank contaminated water on campaign, and that he perished from dysentery or perhaps cholera.
Yet his legacy wasn’t quite finished.
49. His Daughter Continued The Fight
Just as James’s daughter Mary followed in his baby footsteps to the throne, so too did she follow in his drama. For the rest of her similarly short life, Mary was a thorn in the side of the Tudor dynasty. First Henry VIII, attempting to yoke Scotland to his house, tried and failed to get the infant to marry his son Edward in the “Rough Wooing,” attacking Scotland for years as a way to forcibly broker the union.
Henry’s successor, Mary’s cousin Queen Elizabeth I, would then chafe at Mary’s claim to the English crown, and eventually had James’s daughter beheaded in 1587 when she was 44.
Unidentified painter, Wikimedia Commons
50. His Life Was Short, Brutal, And Dramatic
King James V of Scotland lived countless lifetimes in his three short decades on Earth, going from boy king, to captive ruler, to vindictive monarch. His personal and political lives, both equally unruly and violent, were constantly intertwined as he juggled illegitimate children and lost heirs, family feuds and international conflicts. Then again, you’d expect nothing less from an honorary Tudor.
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