We've all done embarrassing things. When it happens, we desperately hope that as few people as possible witness it. Thankfully, when someone else trips, pees, or walks into a wall, most people try to mitigate the awkwardness but at least pretending they didn’t see. But sometimes the embarrassing situation can be so bad, it's impossible to look away. From the classic trip and fall to messy accidents and worse, these people share their stories of the most embarrassing moments they have ever seen.
1. Just Work Prep
My team consists of all remote employees. A female co-worker of mine joined the conference call, but she did not realize that she was also broadcasting her webcam. We all saw that she was only wearing her towel. The call got very quiet until someone privately messaged her to let her know, and she shut it off.
2. A Real Looker
In high school, I was walking in the hallway, and a girl with a crush on me got a glimpse of me and was staring until her friends pulled her away. She turned so fast that she tripped over her own feet. She didn't straight up fall, but it was adorable watching her get flustered and stumble around for a second.
3. Weighing Heavily
One of my best friends was big, easily in the 400s. We went to a baseball game, and the national anthem started. He stood up and broke the chair into what seemed like 1,000 pieces. He was devastated, but apparently, we sat in the wrong row. It was funny to see the person arrive to see their broken seat though.
4. A Hard Time
One time in middle school, we were having class outside for some reason. Everybody was with their friends and stuff, and the awkward kid in our class was on the grass when we all saw this HUGE stiff one. He had no idea, and everybody was pointing it out and making fun of him. I felt bad, he never bothered anyone.
5. Going The Extra Mile
This dumb girl from the gym always brags about something fitness related. Once she said she could eat anything right before exercising. She ate a whole tray of nachos with extra guacamole. How do I know? She puked all over the bench press, cried, ran out of the gym, and then posted it on Facebook that afternoon.
6. Juice Identity
I work at a coffee shop with a drive-thru. I was on shift with a co-worker who was stocking the fridge. As he was putting the apple juice away, he proceeded to introduce himself over the drive-thru mic, "Welcome to [coffee shop]. Apple juice speaking, may I take your order please?
7. I Vati-Can Do It
A friend was in Rome, and on her last night, everyone got well and truly wrecked. The next day, the others chose to nurse their hangovers, but she wanted culture. She wandered Rome and visited the Vatican. She pooped herself in the Vatican and then had to take public transport back. She’s now known as Shatican.
8. Quite A Suggestion
I was with a colleague. He opened a new tab in his browser and after clearing his browser's cache. The autocomplete prefilled the username field with "funswingercouple". He just deleted it and typed the right one. The site was being slow that day, so we sat in devastating awkward silence for about 30 seconds.
9. Too Early For Surprises
I was on a bus at 5:40 AM. It stopped, and a passenger who was asleep jumped up and shouted, "WHAT’S HAPPENING? WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE? GET OUT OF MY ROOM BEFORE I CALL SOMEONE!" It then dawned on him where he was, and he rang the button to stop the bus. What I didn’t get was when he got off the bus, he ran away.
10. Wrong Tube
I saw a group of people not holding on and surfing the more open part of the carriage on the Underground. When the train whipped around a corner, the force hurled one guy face first into some stranger’s crotch. We’re all laughing, and he just flopped like a fish trying to get out from between this guy’s legs.
11. Didn’t See You There
In a bathroom at a bar, I walked in on a guy who had unbuttoned his shirt and was flexing in the mirror. He did the full cliché flex pose and then went bright red. He played it off like a drink spilled, but he was still admiring himself hard. I felt embarrassed catching him, so I can only imagine how he felt.
12. Speak Of The Regional
My supervisor walked into our break room to announce that the regional manager would be making a visit to our branch that day and we needed to humor his requests for technical information and provide it as if he understood it at all. But the manager had already arrived and was actually sitting there among us.
13. Knickers In A Twist
A girl tried to jump off the swings when we were in 5th grade. She managed to snag her undies on the swing chain. She was just dangling bottom up completely upside-down hanging from the world's worst wedgie. It took almost 10 minutes to get her down. She didn't talk for a week after. She was that embarrassed.
14. Kame-Hame-Ha, Ha, Ha
My buddy asked me and his friends to go see Dragon Ball Z in theaters. It started with a video of one of the English dub voice actors thanking the audience for our support. Right when the theater got quiet, my friend yelled, "YOU'RE WELCOME!" fully expecting everyone to laugh at his "comedic genius". Crickets.
15. Who Was That?
My girlfriend was sitting in the back of history class in high school. She accidentally tooted while the room was silent. Everyone turned to look at her, and she tried to play it off by turning around to look at the person behind her...only to find that she was sitting at the back and saw that only a wall was there.
16. Your Beaker Is Showing
A teacher of mine in high school plugged her laptop into the projector, and when opened it, there was a slide show of herself in lingerie. Needless to say, the chemistry lesson that followed was awkward.
17. Photo Summer Essay
My roommate had to upload pictures for an extra credit project. But then he accidentally uploaded his file from his phone because he thought it would be easier. The pictures he then uploaded contained pictures of his girlfriend and a few of him partying all in front of the whole class of 400 students to look.
18. Getting Too Familiar
In senior year, a local official came and went on about a kid that brought a banned item to school, which was big news locally at the time. He disclosed that after investigations, he had a bad home life. Little did he know that the older brother was sitting right in front of him. The class just sat awkwardly.
19. Looking For Directions
Early in my senior year, I was crowded around my friend’s computer as he was about to show a video to my friends and me. He went to type the video into the search bar, and the first thing to come up in his older searches was, "How to shave crotch". I think everybody in the group saw it but acted like we didn’t.
20. What Comes After Ding
A boy from junior choir grasped the shank of his handbell in church choir and asked the girl playing next to him if she'd "like to see his johnson". The minister was there as well as a few adults too. We all just looked at each other not sure what to say.
21. If At First You Don’t Succeed…
I was at the San Francisco airport, and I saw a man was running down the escalator. At the very end, he tripped and face planted with so much force that he slid a little. He got up and kept running, but he tripped and fell on his face again. So, he got up and just started walking.
22. Man Left Behind
I watched a guy walk into a pole in front of the escalator that was meant to stop people from pushing trolleys up. He screamed and dropped his phone which went up the escalator by itself. For some reason, nobody else noticed.
23. Pretty Straightforward
I work near a college campus. The day Pokémon Go came out; I saw a guy playing walk right into a pole because he was not looking up from his phone. He smashed his nuts. I camped out by that pole every day at lunch to watch people walk into it. I even saw the guy from day one who went right into the same pole.
24. Sitting Aghast
My best friend in high school tooted in class. It was loud because the popular girls looked up in disgust. In a panic, she grabbed her seat and with forced bewilderment said, "Oh my! My chair is so squeaky!" She started to shift positions frantically, but it was silent. My friend was burning in self-loathing.
25. A Sight For Sore Ears
I was with my old aunt on the bus. She's a bit deaf, so she tends to speak louder than necessary. She leaned over and in a hushed but VERY audible voice yelled to me, "Look at that woman's ugly baby. No, look, oh my god," then nudged me hard. The woman with the baby was right across the aisle within earshot.
26. The Most Magical Load On Earth
I was in a Disneyland bathroom. The man in the next stall was in the midst of a serious poo struggle. The busyness may have drowned out the plop, but it didn’t mute his exclamation, "Jesus Christ, that thing is huge". This was loud enough to be uncomfortable for everyone. Then a second voice said, "Wow, Dad".
27. You Dropped Something
I was at a water park in the wave pool, and a girl’s bikini top wasn’t on properly, but she didn't notice. A lifeguard blew his whistle, pointed, and said, "Your chest," so I of course looked and saw it. She simply said thank you and covered it, but I'll never forget that big one just hanging and feeling bad.
28. I Came. I Saw. I Attempted.
My best friend growing up asked this girl who’d he liked for years to homecoming. She asked him if he knew any cool dance moves, and he said, "Ya, I know how to breakdance," to which she replied, "Show me!" He didn't know how to breakdance, but he tried. She and her friend laughed. Then we left. It was bad.
29. Bro, Not Cool
Mid-shower, I had to get out and go back to my room to get something. When I walked into my room, I saw that my brother was on my bed watching dirty movies on my PS3.
30. Using Flash
In my senior year of high school, a very beautiful girl was about to give a presentation in front of the class. Right before she started, she took off her hoodie, and her shirt was pulled up with it. That day she chose not to wear a bra. A joker in the back of the classroom instantly exclaimed, "DEM TITTAYS!"
31. Sit Down For This
In high school, a girl had a crush on me. I wasn't into her and had a girlfriend from a different school, but I was always nice to her. One day as she was taking her seat directly in front of mine, she ripped an embarrassingly loud toot. People laughed, but I acted like I didn't hear it. Her face went so red.
32. From Sea To See
This girl in my design class stood up to give her presentation. Her computer was hooked to the projector, and it was on. She opened her email to find the presentation that she sent herself, and as soon as the email was open, someone in class asked her, "Why do you have an email titled Turtle Pleasure Noises?"
Her head whipped around to the screen, and she shouted, "OH MY GOD!" and then she JUMPED to hide the screen clearly forgetting how projectors work. So, Turtle Pleasure Noises was now projected onto her chest, and she stammered quickly to say her boyfriend sent it to her, and the video was adorable, and so on.
She went on to do the presentation, but the class wouldn’t shut up about the turtles, so she played the video and hid her face as this turtle makes adorable squeaky sounds as it made love to a shoe, and the class just lost it.
33. Getting A Head Up
It was my freshman year, and 5 weeks in, I had a group project. My group decided to write a script and read it to the class. We were up there reading and semi-acting out this 10-page script, and everybody in class started giggling. In between lines, I made eye contact with a girl who kept laughing towards me.
I thought maybe a booger was hanging from my nose or zipper was down but nope. The kid beside me had a stiff one and did the tuck in waistband trick. The head was sticking up, and he wore a small shirt, so any time he lifted his arms or moved, everyone saw the tip. Everyone joked about it when he wasn’t in class.
34. A Step In The Wrong Direction
I was in 8th grade with a girl who had a huge crush on me. She was really trying to impress me, swishing her hips, cracking awful jokes, trying to be smart. When we walked by an entrance with a raised slab in front of the door, she did not notice it and, with her hands in her pockets, tripped and faceplanted.
God, she was so embarrassed her whole face was red. To my credit, I didn't laugh and helped her up, but inside, I was crying with laughter.
35. Urine The Splash Zone
I was in 11th grade, and my buddy was in 9th. I brought him to a party with me. He started obnoxiously drinking. There were these two 12th grade girls that I really wanted to talk up, and he came with me. We were standing in front of them, and they were sitting in chairs, so they were eye level with our crotches.
Our game was surprisingly working for us, and he seemed to be holding himself together very well—or so I thought. One of them all of a sudden exclaimed, "Oh my god, he is peeing!" I looked over, and, to my horror, he was peeing his pants as we talked up these senior girls who were at eye-level with our junk.
36. How’s Your Friend Doing?
My friend who was around his early 20s at the time was dating his sister’s best friend. She broke up with him. My friends brought him over to my parent’s place to cheer him up. My friend, who isn't very emotional at all, got plastered. He began to cry, bawl, and chug drinks. He then vomited in every single room.
My family watched him and thought he was losing it. To this day, they still bring it up to me asking if he is ok even though it was over 10 years ago.
37. Doing His Park
We all went out on the town with our boss after some convention. Walking back to the parking lot, a car picked up a pay ticket at the entrance and pulled in. We followed the car on foot. Our boss walked past the ticket machine right as the barricade arm swung down, smashing his face and destroying his glasses.
We got in the car. As he drove, everyone was trying hard to not laugh. He pathetically yelled, "Stop laughing at me!" Later, he used the toll booth wrong, and a gate arm came down. It wrecked the left fender, mirror, and pillar of his truck, and snapped off the arm. My co-worker grabbed the arm as a souvenir.
38. Some Serious Moves
My two friends and I were in our college dorm getting ready for that night. We were doing our makeup kneeling on the floor in front of a full-length mirror. A song started playing, and one friend began to dance. Really getting into it, she ran to my other friend by the mirror and humped the back of her head.
But when she did that, she smashed my friend’s face right into the mirror, which knocked out her two front teeth. We never talk about that night due to the extreme emotional damage it caused for both of them. I think it was absolutely hilarious, but I won’t ever tell them that.
39. Must Doo-Doo This
In the navy, it is mandatory to run a PRT every 6 months, and you get kicked out if you fail or miss too many. I knew this guy in my command who was looking at getting kicked out for PRT failure. He absolutely had to pass his PRT or else he would lose his job, livelihood, and realistically, his wife and kids.
Part of the PRT is a mile and a half run, and he had to run it in under 11 minutes. Everyone runs together and starts at the same time. They said go, and everyone went, and the running clock started. About 5 minutes in, I saw this guy was speed walking very awkwardly. It was very obvious and very distracting—but I still never expected what happened next.
I was coming up behind him, and he relaxed and pooped himself. He filled his navy issue PT shorts and kept running. He was running with a full load in his pants swinging behind him and running down his leg making a trail on the track behind him. He cannot fail. If he quit, it counted as a fail, so he kept on.
I couldn’t help but laugh as I ran my PRT. He looked miserable, but he was still going as fast as he could with poop pouring out his shorts. I was embarrassed just watching this happen, but his very existence on earth was to be determined by this run, and nothing short of the apocalypse was going to stop him.
He ended up coming in 10 seconds under his time, so he got to stay in, but the fact that half the command had watched this guy poop his pants then run spewing poop behind him for 6 minutes was brutal. People talked for years about that incident.
40. Hug It Out Of Here
A guy who lived in the university dorms was standing in our doorway talking to my roommate. A very pretty girl that lived in the building tapped him on the shoulder because she wanted to get by and come into our room. When the dude turned around, I think he thought that she was raising her arms up to hug him.
Because he then wrapped his arms around her immediately and very enthusiastically hugged her while saying, "Oh, hey," and held on past the normal amount of time to hug somebody. He continued clutching her and started making a sort of groaning or humming sound like he was really enjoying it. Ugh, the horror.
She had this fixed wide-eyed gaze while this was going on, and wow, the shocked "Are you seeing this?" look on her face while this man hunched over to grab her is something I will never forget. Finally, he let go, and she practically ran into our room. He slowly put it together that he had made a huge mistake.
41. Long-Distance Relationship
I have a friend named Jeremy who I’ve known since pre-school. You can say that we’ve both done some pretty cringy things. The one that stands out the most, however, is Sue. Sue was his imaginary girlfriend. He has a bunch of family in Florida, and they go down there a lot over breaks and the summer and stuff.
One time, I guess he thought it would impress us if he told us about his escapades in the sixth grade. He told stories about his first kiss on a night with a full moon hanging their feet off the edge of a dock. He’d set a timer on his phone when we hung out, and when it went off, he’d pretend that it was Sue.
He kept up this charade for YEARS. And he's lucky we don't give him trouble about it too. We found out she was fake when he eventually told all of us at different times for some reason, but it didn't take that long for us to realize it anyways. She wasn't all fake actually; his cousin in Florida is named Sue.
42. A Segway To Fall
I was at a stoplight downtown, and a Segway tour group was crossing in front of me. A guy at the end of the line tried to spin around and chat with someone behind him and just went down like a sack of bricks. I’m not very sure how those things work, but I still assume it was a mechanical failure or something.
This guy was now flat on his bum in the middle of downtown Seattle just fumbling with this Segway. He's all tangled up, cursing, and flopping around, and everyone's standing there completely clueless on how to begin to unlatch this red-faced dude from his Segway. It went on like this for almost a full minute.
The light was green, but I couldn't go because he was right in front of me. Finally, he got up and hopped back on and rode away. I nearly had to pull over I was laughing so hard on my way home.
43. Ruffling A Few Feathers
A few years ago, I was at the San Diego Zoo with my family. We were walking near the reptile area when we saw a big group gathered around something. It was a single peacock that was not a part of the zoo but had wandered in. Everyone took pictures of the thing like it was the most precious thing in the world.
Well, one kid kept screwing with the thing, grabbing its feathers and whatnot. His mom was on her phone playing it off doing nothing. The peacock finally decided to retaliate and NAILED that kid right in the forehead. The kid started bleeding everywhere, and mom was playing it off like it was a minor scratch.
44. Flapper Girl
In middle school, I had a friend who was a walking disaster. She wore a knee-length skirt to school one day—one of those skirts with a little slit on each side. The slits were not very long. Throughout the day, this girl somehow managed to slowly rip both sides all the way up the entire length of the skirt.
She was essentially just wearing a flap of fabric over her front and back by the end of the day. It just so happened to be very windy while we waited for the bus outside. I'll never forget her face as she stood there clutching both flaps of fabric to her body as best she could.
45. Down To The Corps
In the Marine Corps, my buddy went to a beach party and got stupid wasted—like, incapable of defending himself wasted. At some point, he was accosted by this group of surfer punk kids. They were like 12 years old. Again, he's a Marine. They had circled him and would dart in close and smack his head then run away.
He finally realized he was too inebriated to defend himself and too slow to catch them, so he ran in a porta-potty and locked the door behind him. He then pulled out his cell phone to call for help, but he fumbled and dropped it down the toilet. He had to wait an hour for the punk kids to get bored and leave.
By the following morning, EVERYBODY had heard the story of how a couple of kids beat him up.
46. The Big Finish
In seventh grade P.E period, we had a combined class with eighth-graders. Before class, we’d sit in rows across the basketball court. The week when we were learning about our bodies, we were in our rows writing a pretest over anatomy and body health. Then an eighth-grade kid finished and got up to turn it in.
However, the test was too much for his hormone-addled brain, and he had been nursing a full erection in his gym shorts the entire time. As he stood up, pencil and paper in hand, he came.
47. Cucumbersome Customer
When I worked at a grocery store, my co-worker and I were working in the produce section joking around and being immature. We made a joke about how if you see someone buying 2 cucumbers, you know one is for eating, and one is for a different purpose. When we said that, we saw a guy look up from the cucumbers.
He took one of the cucumbers in his cart and put it back and then hurried away. On the way to take my break, I saw him paying. In his items, I saw the one cucumber sticking out of his bag, and the cashier ringing in condoms. Our eyes met for a moment, and we both knew. I robbed a man of his dinner that night.
48. Using Liquid Courage
A customer was attempting to smuggle bottles out of the store, but not in a bag because that’d be too obvious, right? Our genius middle-aged hero decided that she was going to smuggle two of the bottles out the store by putting both of them under her dress. She went in the bathroom, and she was in there a while.
We started to think maybe we had it all wrong and maybe she's just drinking the whole two bottles in the bathroom of a slightly ghetto corner drug store. Then the hero of the story reappeared once more from the depths of the drug store bathroom. But why was she walking funny? Oh, no. No way. It can't be that.
My co-worker and I were losing it laughing so hard we couldn't talk. The woman then waddled towards the front doors. She almost made it to freedom! She stopped to buy a bar of candy. She was aiming for freedom when disaster struck. A crash echoed with the sound of breaking glass and the smell of cheap grapes.
The genius customer had just given birth to a bottle right in front of the doors. There was a moment of stunned silence from people who witnessed it and uncontrollable laughter from my friend and I since it confirmed what we had assumed. The woman soon exited the doors. But what happened to the second bottle?
They sent me to check the bathrooms since I was the only female on staff that day. Apparently, the second bottle was too large of an undertaking for her, and she abandoned it. She also left her underwear behind. I salute her as the most dedicated thief I have ever seen in my career as a minimum wage employee.
49. Uneven Waters
My granny is one of those nice southern people who talks to strangers and tries to joke around with people. She and some of my family members went on a cruise, and they got in an elevator with three other people. They were going through a rougher part of the ocean and felt the elevator swaying with the waves.
My granny put her hand on my grandpa's shoulder for support and said, "Whoa, we're going to hobble out of this thing walking like one leg's shorter than the other". She turned to the people behind her while she said it to try and make fun conversation, but they look stony-faced and avoided making eye contact.
When the door opened, the three people leave, but as they do my family noticed one of them, a man, limping in a way that shows he actually had one leg shorter than the other. The elevator was totally silent until the doors closed, and my grandpa then asked my granny, "Why can't you keep your darn mouth shut?"
She responded with, "Well, how the heck was I supposed to know someone on this elevator had one leg shorter than the other?"
50. It’s Poor Problem Solving
I was in 7th grade, and we had classes between lunch. A student asked the teacher if he could use the restroom, but the teacher said, "We go to lunch in 15 minutes. You can wait," and went on with the class. Not even 5 minutes later, we heard the sound of water flowing on the carpet. Then there was the smell.
We turned, and he was crying. The teacher took him out and yelled at him, probably making it worse. After lunch, he came back to class with a big hoodie covering all the way down to his knees. I'll never forget leaky Ricky. I saw the teacher years later, and I mentioned it. He agreed that he handled it poorly.
51. Teacher’s Regret
There was a science teacher in my secondary school in the UK who had a real dislike for a girl in my class. She wasn't a troublemaker, but he took an intense dislike to her. One day, she asked to use the toilet. He refused. She protested saying she'd just started her period, and she would bleed onto her seat.
He said she was lying and had to wait until the end of class. She was not. At the end of class, she stood up, and her seat was covered in blood as was the back of her trousers. She looked at him and told him she was going to report him and that he could clean it up himself since it was his fault it was there.
The next class, under duress from higher-ups, he apologized to her. In response, she handed him a bill from her mother for having her expensive school trousers professionally cleaned. It was awesome. He never bothered her again.
52. You Won’t Believe This!
I work at an elementary school. One day in class, while kids were working on projects together, this quirky kid jumped up on a table with her hands on her hips, bent over slightly, and yelled, "How would YOU like to be raised by liars?" She was giving the whole room looks and pointing. Then she kept on going".
Last night, I walked into the living room, and my mom was doing S-E-X! And when I asked what they were doing, they told me YOGA! But c'mon!! Who does yoga wearing NOTHING?!?" She managed to get all of this out before a co-worker could make her stop. It was hilarious, but I was so embarrassed for the parents.
53. Flatulence Full
It happened when I was 12 and sitting for an exam. A girl sitting a few rows in front of me let out a really loud and stinky toot and made the whole room smell like poop. An hour after the exam, the girl who tooted refused to leave her chair. Finally, our teacher was able to persuade her to get off her chair.
And what we saw could not be unseen. There was diarrhea everywhere. Her dress had a huge stain, and the cleaners had to jet spray the chair. I noped out of the room in a flash, or I would have puked as well.
54. Spilling Secrets
I was traveling back to my friend’s apartment from a convention and was lining up to get on the bus back downtown, and a dude in the front had a large suitcase. As he got to the top step, his suitcase fell open and out of it tumbled many different adult playthings. Most of them were beige and kind of stained.
I’m not sure whether it was because they were old or just "very well-loved". And as each one bounced down the steps, he was repeating, "Oh no, oh no, oh no". My friend and I were shocked, and then we just lost it and were silently laugh-crying all the way back home. That poor guy must have been so embarrassed.
55. The Great Urinate
I was in a debate round with my partner, and she had been needing to pee; our last two rounds were back to back, and she didn't have time to go. In the middle of the round when the other team was doing their speech, she started peeing all over the floor. Everyone just stopped and stared for about ten seconds.
They had to stop the round and get a janitor in there to clean it up. She started laughing with everyone else and just blew it off. Overall, we won 4 out of 5 rounds, and everyone started calling her Puddles. It stuck with her throughout her junior year.
56. Size Uncertain
My friend and I were just walking to the bus stop after school and just casually messing around. Then he decided to make a dirty joke, so he was like, "Oh yeah, I have a pretty big johnson, you know!" I just stared at him with a "why would you say that?" expression. He didn’t notice that his crush was walking by.
And as he tried to recover from his joke, he said, "Nah, I’m just kidding. It’s actually…Er, pretty small," and stared at me unsure. She and I just burst out laughing while he was like, "…I mean medium! It’s, um, ugh."..
57. Expecting Public Privacy
In high school, my best friend and I went to a fast food place, and he went to use the bathroom. After a minute, I had to go as well, so I walked to the door and opened it. I had been expecting a public washroom with multiple stalls and urinals. Nope, it was one small bathroom with a single toilet and a sink.
I walked in just as my friend was aggressively squatting and wiping himself. We made eye contact, he stopped, and I just silently turned around and walked out. That was over 20 years ago and, to this day, we haven't mentioned it once.
58. Sniffed Out
My friend and I were in his car about to go somewhere, and I realized I didn't have my wallet. Thinking it was in his living room, I went back into his house and saw his wife sitting on the couch smelling her foot. She put her foot down quickly and stared at the TV. I said, "I think I left my wallet in here".
She just went, "Oh". The worst part was I had to look for it, and the most likely place it would be was somewhere on the couch. She just stared at the TV while I was looking for it, and it actually was wedged in between the couch pillows.
59. Beware Of Wildlife
I was going for a hike in the woods in a popular and somewhat public wooded area by the Mississippi River in Minneapolis. I was out a bit farther than normal when I passed a clearing. I took a look, and found some kind of furry convention happening with about 15 rather overweight people dressed up as animals.
I slowed down and stared a little bit and said, "Hey". A very fat man with a tail and raccoon ears said, "Hey" back. Silence. I kept going and didn't look back.
60. Wet Dreams
My roommate and his girlfriend went out drinking one night and had quite a bit because they came back and went straight to his room and to go to bed. I was staying up playing games. A couple hours later, his girlfriend came into living room wearing nothing. I just diverted my gaze and stared at the TV screen.
I wasn’t looking, but I could kind of see that she was sitting down on the chair in the corner. And then I heard water dribbling. I looked over, she was obviously still mostly asleep, sitting wearing nothing, and happily peeing on the chair. She even lifted the cushion back like you would a toilet seat cover.
Suddenly, I saw the happy oblivious look slowly changed to confusion and then to pure horror as she scanned the room. It all clicked when she saw the TV, which would obviously not be in the bathroom. She got up and sprinted away. Later, I heard her trying not to laugh. I waited six months to tell my roommate!
61. Absorbing Energy
There was a dude in my sociology class in college who always wore this thick jacket. He would always bring a thermos of coffee. This day was his Waterloo, however. He held his thermos and leaned back and then stretched. But then the coffee started to POUR out because he had the thermos completely upside down.
His jacket absorbed coffee for at least 3 seconds. Once the coffee-soaked through the jacket, he freaked out a little bit and then pretended that nothing happened. I don't know if anyone saw it but me, but I was just trying not to laugh.
62. Follow These Steps
I had this teacher who hated teaching our morning class. She was crabby every single day and, to top it all off, was terribly intimidating. She needed to walk down 3-4 steps with a long run and short rise to get to the teaching area at the front of the class since it was amphitheater style but not very steep.
She made it down like two and completely faceplanted with her arms full of books and papers off the last two. No one in the whole class moved. No one said anything but sat there looking terrified and trying hard not to start laughing. Then the kid at the front who hated her with a fiery passion did something.
He had the decency to help her pick up her stuff and ask if she's okay. But she snapped at him and snatched all of her papers back from him. She limped around angrily for the rest of class and then generally just radiated full fury for the rest of the semester. I have never needed to laugh so hard in my life.
63. Only Trains Toot
I got on the bus to go home, and the driver was inside on a 5-minute break. This man got on the bus, went towards the end of the bus, and was just standing there. I was paying him no attention, and out of nowhere, I heard this "Pffftt-FWOOOOMMPPPP". The guy decided that he could sneakily toot a little pooter.
He thought that nobody would hear it. But this toot was LOUD. The dude just looked around and noticed that everyone was staring at him and then said, "Aw, man," and got off the bus. I'm pretty sure he walked the walk of shame back home.
64. Preparing For The Future
My best friend in high school who never had much luck with the ladies finally got a date with a girl he had liked. We gave them several opportunities to be alone, and he didn’t make made a move until the end of the night. They were alone and, according to their version of the story, he asked, "Are you ready?"
The answer was yes because they did kiss, but that was in sophomore year, and we teased him for it for the rest of high school. We're graduating this year, and my senior quote is, "Are you ready?" because him doing that perfectly summarizes his social ability in high school, and it’s something I won’t forget.
65. Love A Class Act
Everyone in my 5th-grade class was giving out Valentine's cards during our party. When I finished, I went to my desk and found a huge Hallmark-style envelope too big to fit in the box I decorated. Confused, I opened it and found a real Valentine's card with a declaration of love from a classmate named Vinnie.
My teacher saw me reading it, grabbed it, and cheekily read it out loud to the class. I was mortified—but then it got worse. I did not think for a moment she would be cruel enough, but then she read aloud who wrote it, and my heart sank. Vinnie hid his head in his arms at his desk, began to cry and shake, then ran to the bathroom.
I have never seen a more embarrassing moment, and I hated my teacher for the rest of the year. I still do, in fact. I'm so sorry, Vinnie.
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