Dating can be a nerve-wracking thing, but once the preliminaries are over it can be quite fun. That is until it is time to bringing the person around to meet your family. That is always interesting, whether it goes great, horrible, or somewhere in between. Some people take the opportunity of meeting their significant other’s parents as a chance to prove their worth by being bold. As it usually goes, being bold is a risk: sometimes this leap into bold territory sticks a glorious landing, and other times...well, let’s just say it makes things a little awkward. Being bold is a way to display confidence, but that doesn’t mean that it is always warranted. So, sit back and enjoy these stories, as told by Reddit users, about the time their significant others took that step into bold territory around their parents.
1. Getting Frosty
We were going to a suburban big box store. I was driving. The whole family was in the car. My perfectly able mother-in-law wanted me to park in a handicapped spot. I said no, and offered to drop her off in front before I parked. She said no and told me to use a handicapped placard she'd been keeping in the glove box since her own mother died ten years earlier. I declined. A fight ensued. My husband jumped in, backing me up. At some point, it went like this:
Her: "Why do you have to be so difficult?"
Me: "I'm not trying to be difficult. I just don't think it's kind to park in a handicapped spot if you're not handicapped."
Her: "Don't get all holier than thou with me."
Her: "This is my car, and I'm telling you to park there."
Me: [continued to look for a spot]
Her: "Anyway, I AM disabled, so you can just go ahead and park in one of those handicapped spots."
Grandchild, shouting from the back seat: "You are handicapped, grandma? What handicap do you have?"
Me, shouting back to the kid in the back seat: "Selfishness and sloth, honey. Grandma's handicaps are selfishness and sloth."
Things have been pretty frosty between us since then.
2. Giving the Older Model a Look
My girlfriend and I were on a ski trip with my parents, and this was the first time she would be spending an extended amount of time with them. In the morning while getting ready, my dad walks out in his long johns and Underarmor top, an overall tight-fitting outfit.
My girlfriend wasn't really expecting this, and my dad caught her looking his way. And my dad, as always one to put someone on the spot—in a fun way—says "Whatchya looking at?"
Without a moment's hesitation, my girlfriend goes: "Just checking out the older model."
Needless to say, she was instantly accepted into the family.
3. A Quip of Justice
My wife adores my parents so nothing to report from her. I, on the other hand, have a less loving relationship with her mother. She was once questioning my capacity to be a good father and I snapped. "At least I stuck around MY kids and love them, the guys you screwed all ditched your butt."
4. Period Talk at the Table
Was having dinner with my mom and my brand new boyfriend at the time when he started hugging me at the table—the kind of hug a child gives to a pet rabbit where you just feel bad for the creature receiving the love.
I say, "Don't. Stop."
He responds, "Don't stop? Okay."
I grumbled and said, "No, there's a period in there."
Without missing a beat he said, "Girl you know a period never stopped me." In front of my mom.
My mom laughed, it was pretty clever. That happened about three years ago and we are engaged now, my parents adore him.
5. Thanks For Your Daughter, At Least
My fiancé jokingly said to my dad when they first met "God Frank, all you ever did was make a hot daughter." My dad is weirdly obsessed with Talladega Nights so he thought it was hilarious, but my parents are kind of awful, so fiancé meant it as kind of a dig.
6. Telling Off the Alcoholic Father
Ex-girlfriend from high school/college told my dad, once his alcoholism had taken him over, that "Whether it's me or some other girl he has children with one day, you don't deserve to ever even see them." Completely out of her character.
7. Always Coming Prepared
My dad was talking to me and my boyfriend about safe initmacy when my boyfriend whipped out the condoms he had in his bag and said: "Don't worry, I'm already prepared."
8. Telling Momma The Truth
To my mother...
"Your horrible marriages are the reason why your son will never ask me to marry him."
To be fair, she had a plethora of bad marriages.
9. What a Blokey Bloke Thing To Do
My fiancé is a real blokey bloke. He used to wink at my dad all the time in a flirtatious way just to make him uncomfortable for a laugh. My dad was so awkward the first few times and now it's their “thing,” they just wink at each other at random times. Literally a bromance right there.
10. Not Prepared For That Comeback
I had a girlfriend for a very short time, around the age of 18.
She called my dad a drunkard, to his face, within five minutes of meeting him. While it is true he drank a lot, it was really rude and disrespectful.
He responded by saying, "Bill, you can do better than this one, I don't care how nice her [bosoms] are."
11. The Part of Fatherhood No One Tells You About
I'm the S.O. in this one. I was at my girlfriend's house for a few days and her dad was downstairs. We hear footsteps on the staircase so she pulls her pants up and I move my hand away from that area. He says he's leaving and goes to shake my hand. Not thinking AT ALL I shake his hand and thank him for having me over. As soon as he touched my hand he knew. He didn't say anything about it. Girlfriend nearly ended my life.
12. Standing Up For His Wife
My husband told my parents we weren't coming back to the house as long as my sister was living there. It was the bravest thing anyone has ever done for me, and I know what it cost him to hurt them that way, but it benefitted me and so he did it. Side note, my sister is a boozed up, abusive person and my husband is the first person to stand up for me and worry about my mental and emotional health. I love him so deeply.
13. Telling Your Mother-in-Law She Was Correct
I lived with my parents when my husband and I were dating. He would come over, and either he would sit on the bed and me at my PC, or vice versa.
My mom would come into the room and ask what we were doing. We would always say, "making out." To which her reply was always, "I may be old but I remember making out, and this isn't it."
Fast forward to the wedding a year later, and we had to go back to my parents' house the next day. We walk in, and my husband puts his arm around my mom, and says, "You know, there WAS a whole lot more to that making out." I was absolutely mortified.
14. Liquid Courage
In college, I was dating a girl for a while, and over the summer she was briefly living at home in the suburbs outside the city I was interning in.
One night I was hanging out with her and her family at their place and had a few glasses of wine, so we figured I'd spend the night there rather than figure out a way to get me home and then deal with my car.
Her parents said they'd go make sure the guest room was ready. I said, "Nah it's fine I'll just sleep in her room." That left them speechless, but they didn't say no…
15. One Heck of a Grandma
Not me, but my parents.
Apparently, when my dad brought my mom home for the first time to meet my grandmother the exchange went like so:
Grandmother: “What are your intentions with my son?”
Mom: “To take all his money.”
Grandmother: “Honey, he doesn't have any money.”
16. Crossing the Line of the Cross
My S.O. looked at the crucifix, with the crown of thorns and blood, that my parents have hanging on the wall over their bed's headboard, and said, "Doesn't that make you feel inhibited?"
17. No Divorce Necessary
This is something my dad said to his mother-in-law (my grandmother) before my parents got married in 1969.
Grandma: “Just so you know, there has never been any divorce in our family, we don't take marriage lightly.”
Dad: “Don't worry. If I ever get sick of her, I'll just shoot her.”
Typing it out, it looks a little disturbing. Given that my dad was such a non-violent, meek guy all three found it hilarious. Different times?
18. You Are What You Eat
The first time I brought my wife home, it was on a weekend my father was supposed to be away for some camping. Well, he gets home early because of bad weather, so I'm now in the obligation of presenting him this girl that's in my room downstairs. Eventually, we get out of my bedroom as my father is starting to prepare dinner. As he sees her, he asks: "Wow, I wonder what a wonderful woman like you eats to stay this beautiful!"
Her answer? "Well, this morning? Your son."
Yup. What a way to make a good first impression. Good thing is that it's exactly my dad's type of humor, otherwise, it could have gone bad.
19. A Man in Uniform
My dad's a cop. One night my wife looks at him and said: "Can your son borrow your uniform and [sleep with me] in it?"
I was caught really off guard but found it pretty funny. We still laugh about it.
20. Attesting the Truth
Second time my boyfriend was meeting my parents, my dad kept saying he could've sworn when I was a baby I had a birthmark on my butt. I was arguing that I didn't, my boyfriend chimed in to confirm.
21. Taking the Cherry
Conversely later at a large, quiet sit down family dinner someone swiped the cherry off my drink, so I asked: “Who took my cherry?” My dad says “Oh [boyfriend] did, but I took this [holding cherry].”
22. Going in for the Awkwardness
I have a pretty conservative, Baptist family, and I’m gay.
Brought my boyfriend over to meet my dad and he told him, “I know your son inside and out.”
I’ve never been more terrified in my life.
23. Aggressively Telling the Truth
Just after graduating high school, 18 years old, I was dating a girl who was on the autism spectrum, but at the time we didn't know that. Turns out she has Asperger’s syndrome.
Anyway, we're sitting on the couch with Mom and Dad, watching TV. Now, to be fair, they knew we were having hooking up regularly, and told us to do it at home, because they found out we had gone to the creek a few times and almost got caught. They just wanted us to be safe.
So, while we're watching TV, my girlfriend and I are kind of playing with each other, just some touching discreetly, when my girlfriend turns to my mom and says "I'm gonna take your son into the bedroom for a while." Jaw...drop...from...everyone. Including me.
Yes, we went to the bedroom.
24. Carving The Truth
He finally came to meet them around Halloween. We were carving pumpkins. He carved his to say, “Unwelcome Guest.”
25. The Trade-Off
My boyfriend’s dad asked me if he does any housework (when he moved in with me, literally had met him for 10 minutes) and I said: "Yes he does, but I screw him...so that's probably why he does what I ask."
His dad kind of gave this "fair point" nod to me.
26. Medicinal Mary Jane
My uptight mother was criticizing my long time S.O. for smoking too often at a family dinner.
She looked up at her in front of my entire family and said:
“You are the first person I have ever met that I truly believe needs to smoke some weed.”
After several seconds of intense eye contact, me just sitting there mouth-breathing and thinking all is lost, my father lost his mind laughing, and everyone else burst into laughter—including mom.
27. Bad Jokes All-Around
My mom was trying to recover after telling a really long-winded joke that just didn't land, and after a couple excruciatingly cringe-filled seconds of no one laughing, my boyfriend said: “Oh, I didn't get it because it wasn't funny..." With a kind of playful smirk on his face. Maybe the hardest I've ever laughed.
28. Mormon Education
I said this to my S.O.'s parents... We were talking about Mormons and I mentioned I heard something interesting about Mormons the other day. They were curious and asked what I had heard, and that's when I knew I messed up.
I'm sitting there and all I can say is “I can't tell you,” and her super passive dad says now you have to tell us. Her parents are both the nicest people and I'm sitting there like screw me sideways I messed up.
I sit there and I go, "Have you ever heard of soaking?" They all say no, so then I begin to explain what soaking is in explicit detail (look it up).
Everything went silent and her sister's husband begins to die and her parents are just staring at me mouth open then kind of laughed a little to not make it seem awkward.
After I left her dad told my girlfriend that I was bold and he would never have said that to his in-law.
This was the first night I met them.
29. Red, White, and Blue
Many years ago... a girlfriend of mine was lighting my dad's smoke with a match. He accidentally blew it out.
She said, without missing a beat "Suck dammit, blow's only a figure of speech".
My dad turned blue. I turned red. My mom turned white.
30. Maybe Not The Best Choice of Words
His words: “Your daughter is a financial terrorist.”
31. Talking About Death
Not mine, but my brothers S.O. My mom lost her life to C.O.P.D. last January. The Christmas before, we knew she wasn't going to be around much longer and she asked my mom “Are you ready to meet your maker?”
Takes a set a nuts to ask somebody if they're ready to die. Not in a good way.
32. Pregnancy Truths
A couple of Christmases ago, a very pregnant (and very salty) me got right up in my father-in-law's face and told him that his son (my husband) was 10x the man he had ever been, and that all the bluster in the world wouldn't change that. Not my finest hour... but not untrue, either.
33. Show, Don’t Tell
I dated a girl years ago who told my mother, on Christmas Eve, that I thought I was impotent. The truth is, I was wondering if I was infertile, as I had been exposed to a lot of X-rays in my fun zone as a child. She mixed up the words. So, this leads to me going to my mother's bedroom, on Christmas Eve, in my undies, to knock on her door to tell her that I am not impotent.
34. The “C” Word
My father-in-law has cancer and remarked how he has the big "C". I told him in front of my mother-in-law that he had been living with the big "C" for long enough so should he really be surprised?
35. Get Fatty
I'm the S.O. in this case—first time I met my future father-in-law, he took us to an NFL game in New York—could be just outside, I'm Aussie, so don't remember exactly where it was. There was a brawl in the stadium which had people tumbling down the seats and state troopers coming in. Everyone was shouting "get fatty" as the main instigator was a fat, bald guy. I told my father-in-law to hide before the officers grabbed him.
36. WWII Talk
My wife is Polish and I'm British. The first time she met my dad he tried to make conversation by saying that we saved them in World War II.
She responded: "You took your freaking time!"
37. Going Hard on Taco Night
The first time my girlfriend—now wife—met my parents, she came over for taco night. My mom asked her how she liked her tacos.
With a straight face, she very adamantly said, "I like it hard."
38. Living To Tell The Tale
Ex-GF: "Wow, I'm surprised any of your kids are still alive."
39. Don’t Touch What You Can’t Afford
I hugged my then-girlfriend when we were at her parents' home, she responded by saying "Don't touch what you can't afford." My dumb self responded almost instantly with "Well, depends if you charge by the kilo." Her dad found it hilarious, she was not impressed, understandably.
40. Only Two at a Time
I don't remember the exact wording, but my boyfriend was helping my parents bring in their groceries one day and they hand him a bunch of jugs of milk to bring in and say something like, "Here, bring these in if you are able," and my boyfriend says something like, "I don't know, I'm not used to holding this many jugs at a time, Ashley only has two."
41. No Problem on Wedding Night
I was sitting at dinner with my soon to be mother-in-law and soon to be wife. Not sure how it came up, but my mother-in-law says to my wife "But what if you have your period on your wedding night?"
I said, "Oh it's cool. If the river runs red, I'll take the dirt road instead."
42. Missing The Joke
Hilarious story here.
I started dating my S.O. when we were both 20, but she is just shy of 5' tall, under 100 lbs., and looks young. She's heard it all of her life, short jokes and "You look 14."
So I brought her to my family Thanksgiving dinner with a couple of my buddies—large family gatherings, the more the merrier. It was only a couple months after we started dating, so this was the first time my family had met her.
So everyone is chatting having a good time, and my older brother asks her "So how old are you?" And she says in this cute and chipper voice "I am 14!"
The room goes DEAD silent with my nine siblings and parents staring at me in this complete disgust. My friends and her die laughing while my family is deciding how to process this information.
I never get embarrassed, I usually don't care what people think of me, especially my family, but after seeing their faces I realized they did not get the joke, so I shake her a little and say "Tell them the truth!"
She giggles and says "I'm just kidding, I’m 20."
And there is the loudest sigh of relief in the room.
Then I married her.