Nothing beats wedding season. Vows are taken, vows are broken, brides are boozing, and grooms are snoozing. Who doesn’t want a first-row seat to that? Here Redditors share some of their wild wedding stories from the bizarre to the sublime that will make anyone reading laugh, cry, and everything in between.
1. Son Of A Preacher Man
My husband’s cousin had the weirdest wedding ever. Before the wedding even started, we noticed the man who was climbing the steps in front of us had already drunkenly peed himself, and it was only noon. The hillbilly preacher refused to let the couple's mothers walk down the aisle to light the unity candle holding hands because he said, "There will be no lesbianism in my church". And somehow, that wasn't the worst part.
The wedding march was played on a cassette boom box operated by the preacher. After the couple took their vows, the preacher pulled them to the side of the altar and started talking about being an obedient wife. He made the bride GET ON THE FLOOR AND BOW ON HER HANDS AND KNEES to her "king". Then came photo time, which was also handled by the preacher on a very old film camera. You could hear the clicking of the noisy wheel as it advanced the film. It was quite the scene.
2. Together Forever
In high school, my best male friend and I had a mutual close female friend. We used to hang out at her house and even spend the night from time to time. Years later, she was getting married and invited both of us. Neither one of us had a date, so we agreed to go together. At the reception, her dad came up to us with a smile beaming across his face.
He shouted our names and said, "Holy cow, I can't believe you guys are still together! That's amazing. So proud of you guys for sticking it out. You were always my favorite couple". We were left completely stunned and confused. When our friend made her way to us, we asked what on earth her dad was talking about. She broke down almost into tears because she was laughing so hard.
That is when she finally told us that she had told her parents we were gay and a couple in high school, which is why we were allowed to stay at her house. All these years, her dad was convinced we were together, and after seeing us at her wedding, nothing will ever change his mind.
3. Where Did They Go?
When my sister got married, her husband’s nephew, who was about three at the time, was the ring bearer. He came down the aisle with the flower girl, walking ever so slowly with his little pillow with the rings secured with ribbons. Once they got up to the altar and the ceremony started, he got bored and put on his own little clown show.
He was holding the pillow but paying more attention to his own performance. He didn’t notice when they had untied and removed the rings. A few minutes later, when he realized they were missing, he went over to my brother-in-law, jerked on his pants leg, and asked VERY LOUDLY, "Joey, did you take my rings"? Everyone there cracked up. For years, "Joey, did you take my rings"? was an ongoing joke.
4. Just In Time!
I was at a wedding where I barely knew the bride. She was my babysitter’s daughter. I didn't know anyone from the groom's side, but I noticed they were pacing and they looked like the world was ending. I went and asked them what the problem was. The groom had left the wedding ring in his apartment, which was 25 miles away.
They were ultra-religious and planned to have the rings blessed during the ceremony. They didn't want the bride to know, so none of them could leave without anyone noticing they were missing from the ceremony. I knew just what I had to do. I volunteered to make the drive through Chicago traffic and told the groom that he had to give me his keys and exact instructions to find the ring.
I disregarded a few driving laws, but I was trained to drive fire trucks and had also been a professional driver for many years, so he trusted me. I made it back just as the bride's father was about to enter the sanctuary with her. I snuck the ring into his hand and whispered instructions to sneak the ring to the groom. It all worked out. The groom told the story to the bride hours later after the reception.
5. Granny Getcha Garter
I was at my dad's wedding to my now ex-stepmom. It came time for the bouquet and garter toss. When my stepmom threw the bouquet, my grandmother caught it. We were all pretty stunned since the woman was the frailest little old lady you'd ever meet. When it was time for my dad to throw the garter, every single man on the floor ran away. But then the wildest thing happened...
The DJ ran up, grabbed the garter, ran back to his setup, played the song "Pony" by Ginuwine, then proceeded to perform a full and fully clothed strip dance over to my grandmother and put the garter on her leg. I've never seen her turn so red before or since.
6. The Flower Girl Cleaned Up Her Act
I was at a wedding where the flower girl was probably too young. She came down the aisle without any issue dropping flower petals correctly. However, once the ceremony started, she got a little bored. After a little fidgeting up there with everyone else, she calmly and politely turned, went a few steps to the aisle she had come in on, and started picking up the flower petals she had dropped on the way in.
Then, she carefully put them back into her flower petal basket. She went all the way back to her entry point. She hung out in the back until the service was over.
7. Problem Solved
Halfway through my wedding reception, my mother-in-law—who was just over 4 feet tall and weighed in at a whopping 75 pounds—walked up to me in a bright red dress and three-inch heels. She was higher than a kite and had a drink in one hand and a ciggie in the other. This little woman looked me directly in the eye, smiled the biggest smile, and said, "He's your problem now, honey", in the sweetest South Texas accent.
She then wobbled away to chat with people with a big grin on her face.
8. Naptime
The bride’s dress had an extra-long train. While she was waiting just inside the front doors of the church for the organ processional to begin, most of her train was outside. The front doors to the church had been fastened back in the "open" position on hooks. While she was waiting, a little neighborhood dog made a bed for himself and went soundly to sleep on her train.
No one noticed the dog sleeping on it until she was most of the way down the aisle approaching the altar. Everyone thought it was cute, including the minister. So they let it stay, undisturbed. The little dog slept on the bride's train until the end when the loud recessional on the church's pipe organ awakened it.
9. He Shouldn’t Have Stuck His Nose In It
My dad and uncles did some heavy drinking on the night before a family wedding, and they let my aunt's new boyfriend tag along. My aunt's boyfriend said something that offended them, so my dad and three uncles hung him over a hotel balcony for a few seconds. When they pulled him up, he twisted loose and bit the groom on the nose.
They had to go to the hospital and get him treated. My uncle has a bandaged nose in all his wedding photos.
10. Did Everyone See That?
I was the photographer at a wedding. The bride's dad got up for his speech. It was 30 minutes long, and he was recounting embarrassing memories of the bride being generally unathletic, taking soccer balls to the face, etc. It was truly cringe-inducing, and the bride was very uncomfortable. He then told the audience a story of how he used to travel for work, and at the time, the bride was obsessed with Disney’s Pirates of the Caribbean.
He went on to say how she would often make up her own Disney characters, one being a French-speaking bird. She would make personalized cards with poorly drawn Jack Sparrow and French bird characters and send them to various locations when he was away traveling for work. It was a cute story but entirely inappropriate and far too long for a wedding speech.
Finally, he raised his glass for the conclusion of his speech when, suddenly, two D-list local actors from the local theater troupe came out from the venue's back door. They were dressed as Jack Sparrow and a woman in a french hat with wings to mimic the French bird character. They had "come to the wedding to deliver a card". The bride was mortified, and the groom was mouthing to the bride's mom to get the dad off the stage.
This back and forth between Jack Sparrow and the French bird went on for about 10 minutes, with dad as the jovial in-between mediator. Finally, Jack Sparrow unfurled the "card" for the bride and groom, which was a giant poster with a picture of the happy couple. Everyone was stunned, and the bride and groom were beside themselves. The father/daughter dance after was VERY uncomfortable.
11. A Smashing Ceremony
I attended a wedding ceremony that was comprised of the immediate family. It was followed by a reception with all guests in a relatively nice hotel banquet hall. An hour in, the open bar was completely closed down because MULTIPLE guests were throwing up in the bathroom sinks, causing flooding. The groom was looped even before the ceremony and had blacked out by the time of reception.
During the first dance, he kept his hands in his cargo pant khakis the entire time and ate dinner sitting on the floor in the corner of the hall while the bride sat at the head table alone. About two hours in, the groom randomly left and slept at his house while the bride stayed in the newlywed suite by herself. They later separated, as one may have assumed by this point.
12. Proud As Peacocks
I used to work at a place that had a very large tent-like building that was often used for weddings, receptions, celebration of life events, etc. It was on a local lake in a beautiful area and was very expensive to rent out. One family rented it out for the trashiest wedding I had ever encountered there. The wedding was "peacock themed".
The decorations consisted of black and teal paper plates, random peacock feathers, and teal paper cups. They wanted to put all this stuff out the night before the event. The owner warned them that this was basically a tent on the lake, and things left out would get dirty and spider-webbed overnight. They ignored this advice and then pitched a fit when they returned the next morning.
The bride had neglected to try her dress on since she purchased it and had gained weight. She couldn't zip it up. She ended up buying a white tank top to wear under it and left it unzipped. Then after the ceremony, everyone was very inebriated, and the bride's mother set up a chair in the middle of the dance floor. She had the groom sit there and cheered her daughter on as the bride gave the groom a very, very vigorous lap dance.
13. Buckle Up!
When my best friend got married, I was one of the groomsmen. It was my first time in a tuxedo, looking sharp. The tux I had had these buckles at the waistline. They were not like belt buckles, and I had no idea what they were there for. I was hanging out with other members of the wedding party when one of them pointed to the buckles and asked, "Hey, what are those buckles for"?
Being a smart alec, I said, "Oh, they’re to hook your thumbs in so you can look cool. Like this". I hooked my thumbs into the buckles, which caused them to open, loosening the waist, and my pants slid to the ground in full view of everyone.
14. They Didn’t Have A Fighting Chance
My wife was singing at her sister's friend's wedding. I had known who they were since we were all in college together but didn’t know the bride or groom well. Since my wife was doing a gig, I sat chilling at home. After the wedding service, my wife called me and said I should come to the reception to keep her company because it was going to be full of her sister's friends and people she didn’t know.
I was up for a free meal and entertainment, so I threw on a nice shirt and headed over to the ballroom where it was being held. I had no clue what I was in for. I met my wife there, got myself a drink, and hung out with the few people we knew. The bride and groom came in, and we were then able to eat. I grabbed a plate but couldn't sit with my wife because her seat was arranged for.
I ended up sitting at a table with six strangers and a girl I knew. The people at the table included the bride's biological mom, her biological dad, and his girlfriend. The conversations were extremely awkward, but it didn't stop there. The best came next. There were speeches from the best man and maid of honor, who was my sister-in-law.
She was blasted and began her speech by saying, "Dan and Kelly are a great couple. Sometimes they fight a lot. They don't always get along, but who does? Their love is so strong that when they fight, they always make up with each other. So let's all try to have a love like theirs". That was the speech. It was painful. Later, I went to the bathroom, and when I came out, I saw the bride and groom fighting in the hallway.
I asked my sister-in-law about it, and she said the bride was three months pregnant and didn't want her groom to be drinking. Of course, he was trashed, having pre-gamed with his friends before the reception. When the couple's first dance came, they got into a fight on the dance floor, and the groom stormed off. She was left there, so she just sat down. It was one of the most awkward experiences at a wedding reception I had ever seen.
15. Shut Your Gob!
I was a tween when my much older cousin got married. When the priest asked if anyone had an objection, my sloshed Scottish uncle stood right up and told everyone quite loudly and clearly what a bad idea it was for them to get married. The priest said it was more about if anyone knew if they were close relations, but it turned out my booze-brimming uncle was right.
16. Down For The Count
I was standing up for a college friend at his wedding. It was held at a big old Methodist church with no air conditioning, and it was HOT. The groom was one of my college friends. He was a paramedic at the time and one of the most rock-solid people I had ever met. His bride was a local girl. The best man was the groom’s younger brother, who was a linebacker-sized linebacker on his college football team.
The groomsmen were three fellow paramedics and me. We had bottles of water lining the communion rail and were going through them like the open bar was about to close, and they wanted to empty the last keg. Early in the ceremony, at the end of one of the prayers, the minister noted that the groom "looked as white as his shirt".
My wife was most of the way to the back of the sanctuary, and she could tell from there that he didn’t look good. Suddenly, down goes the groom! The best man caught him on the way down and held him upright. The minister decided to skip the homily and go straight to the vows. The vows finished, and the groom went down again.
Then, so did the bride! We got them into the front pew for a presentation of the happy couple, dismissed the guests, and helped the bride and groom into a nearby chapel, which was air-conditioned. As they recovered, they started laughing about it, which was good. At the reception, which was held elsewhere, it was noted they never lit their unity candle, so they did, but it wouldn’t light. Despite it all, the marriage lasted.
Shutterstock
17. Who Let The Whiney Kids In?
When I was seven, I was a flower girl at a wedding. The wedding was held at a vineyard, and the only drinks they had at the reception were wine. I picked up what I thought was a glass of juice, took a huge swig, discovered it tasted horrible, and spit it out all over the floor, my white dress, and the cup. My mom was pretty mad about my dress, but she was even angrier that my dad left me unsupervised enough to grab a glass of vino.
My baby cousin also bit the bride on the leg an hour later. I bet they wished they didn't allow kids to the wedding.
PxHere
18. ‘Snot What I Expected
At my reception, I had all five of my nieces be flower girls. My sister was the photographer. I was expecting her oldest daughter, who was eight and usually a bold boisterous girl who lived for this sort of stuff, to lead the pack. However, on my wedding day, she woke up with a cold and was pretty down the whole time. So, after the flower girls had finished dumping their petals, I made it up the aisle to meet my husband.
Right as my sister walked front and center of everyone to take a picture, my oldest niece walked forward, grabbed my sister’s skirt, and blew her nose straight into it.
1. Shingle No More
I went to a Scientology wedding and thought I was on a candid camera show. It took place in the backyard of a suburban neighborhood home. When we got there, the groom was in shorts and a t-shirt up on the roof, replacing shingles. He was just hammering away. Everyone was all dressed up and wondering what the heck was going on. It only got more bizarre from there.
Regardless, we all sat down in the folding chairs in the yard. The chairs were arranged looking at a tree with a dusty ball of dried chili peppers hanging on it for decoration. It was terribly hot outside, and we waited and waited, but the groom kept shingling the roof. It started getting late. It was at least an hour after the wedding was supposed to start, and everyone was being eaten alive by the mosquitoes in the grass.
Finally, the guy came down from the roof, the bride came outside, the officiant finally showed up, and then the speaking started. It was less of a wedding ceremony and more of an attempted conversion of the wedding guests. Eventually, when it was over, the officiant left awkwardly, ran over the basketball hoop in the driveway, and drove squealing away.
Everyone milled around and ate food, but it felt wrong and awkward and too quiet for a wedding. I remember seeing a cicada shedding its exoskeleton nearby on a tree in the yard and thinking, "Yeah, buddy, I feel like crawling out of my skin too". It was a very weird experience.
20. Freedom Of Speech
At my brother’s wedding, my niece was four years old. After seeing my brother, and my other brother—her dad and the best man—do speeches, she decided that she should too. She proceeded to tell everyone that when her mom and dad got married, she was in her mom’s tummy, and sometimes she wished she could crawl back up into it to take a nap.
21. Into The Woods
My buddy’s second wedding had blueberry mojitos as the cocktail hour drink "special". Servers were going around with trays of them. It was 90 degrees that day, and they were GOOD, so we put down far too many both for taste and temperature—we all know that tale. My only memory from later that evening was a moment of clarity at the reception, where our other friend looked mortified.
We found out he had just gotten caught doing the nasty in the woods behind the venue. We didn’t think the bride and groom even knew about it until weeks later. We were all hanging out, and suddenly they burst out laughing, talking about how eventful their wedding was.
22. Something New, Something Borrowed
I was going to use my sister's wedding dress for my wedding because it was a really expensive gown. We lived in Florida, and she was in Texas, so she brought the dress to Florida for the wedding. As a result, I didn't get to try it on until the wedding day. So, of course, disaster struck. It didn't fit, so my pregnant sister, my mom, and I drove like crazy to a store. I bought a dress off the mannequin.
Then we got a flat tire on a bridge going to my parent’s house where the wedding was happening. We barely made it, and I had to borrow my new mother-in-law’s shoes.
23. It Was A Barrel Of Laughs
I went to my cousin's wedding in Maryland. The bride was Catholic, and her uncle was a priest, so the wedding was held in the church that her uncle led. During the wedding service, there was a reception for another wedding going on in the basement of the same church, complete with DJ music that was leaking upstairs.
At the exact moment the uncle priest said, "You may kiss the bride", the DJ downstairs started playing "Roll Out the Barrel". Everybody thought it was hilarious except for the bride's mom, who quit her membership in that congregation the following day.
24. Making Moments Matter
I'm a former wedding planner, and my own wedding was an elegant supper club-style event. Everything was ready. The ballroom was decorated, and the catering, dessert bar, flowers, and music were all perfectly planned. Since I was in the industry, I was getting married on a Sunday because I know it's much less expensive. The rehearsal dinner was fun, and we retired to our hotel on Saturday night for final checks.
The next morning, after breakfast, we had a couple of hours to waste, so we took our kids swimming in the hotel pool. There we were on Sunday morning, with the pool to ourselves, having a blast—then our stomachs dropped. We realized that we didn't even have wedding rings! We didn't have a formal proposal, so there were no rings. We called my parents down to the pool to watch the kids.
Then, we got dressed, jumped into the car with wet pool hair, and drove to all the jewelry stores in the city to pick up some wedding bands. However, since it was Sunday morning, every place was closed. We realized the only store open was Sears. We hit up the jewelry counter and spent $200 on some wedding rings, hustled back downtown to the hotel, and showered up in time for the hair/makeup people to arrive. Luckily, the rest of the day went off without a hitch.
Unsplash
25. Bouquet Bash
I was 15 and I went to the wedding of a friend-of-a-friend. I didn't feel that comfortable going as I barely knew a soul there and so for most of the ceremony, I stood towards the back. However, when it was time for the bride to throw the bouquet, I went in and ended up actually catching it! I never got so many harsh stares in my LIFE.
The glares were followed by many within earshot comments like, "Who invited HER to the wedding? It was my turn to get married. What does a kid like her even need a bouquet for? Someone should ask the bride to just throw the bouquet again. It doesn't count if it wasn't caught by one of her friends"!
26. They Were Two Of A Kind
I attended a wedding for my ex's childhood friend. I knew they had a limited budget, so when it was mentioned that it was a potluck wedding, I didn't mind a bit. We were asked to bring a veggie platter and some drinks, and I was happy to oblige. The couple was in their mid-20s, and both were getting married for the second time. The groom had three kids with his previous wife and one kid on the way with his soon-to-be bride.
Meanwhile, the bride had two kids with her previous husband and was pregnant at the time of the wedding. In total, there were five kids and one on the way. I had never met them, so I had no idea what to expect. When we arrived at the wedding location, I was dressed in a spring-casual dress, and my ex was in slacks and a button-down shirt. I wasn't prepared for what we found when we arrived.
Everyone else was in jeans, and some men didn't even wear a shirt. To say that my ex and I were overdressed was an understatement. Everyone had a brew in one hand and a smoke in the other. I assumed it was people partying before the event, but it wasn't. Everyone sat down with their brews and smokes. But wait, it gets worse. The location was at a wastewater reclamation site.
The ground was soggy and sticky. I put out our veggie platter and drinks on a folding table under a torn canopy tent. Then it was ceremony time. The bride pulled up in her car with her bridesmaids. She was in a wedding dress and visibly very pregnant. She hopped out of the car, and as she walked up to the aisle, she stopped and lit a smoke.
The groom lit up as well, they smiled at each other, and she walked up the aisle in utter silence. They said their vows while puffing away. Afterward, the reception was held at a local bar. The visibly pregnant bride was drinking and puffing away with her now-husband and was trashed. About an hour in, the groom's ex-wife came in and PUNCHED the pregnant bride.
An entire brawl ensued, and the authorities had to be called. We could not get out of there soon enough. It was the most trash thing I had ever seen in my entire life. Lucky, I never saw them again after that.
27. I Was Amazed We Made It Out
Right after my cousin's wedding, everyone was together, eating, drinking, and having fun. I decided it would be a brilliant idea to take a group of young kids I had just met, along with my other cousin—who was heavily pregnant—to explore a maze that was at the venue. I was pretty young at the time and hence a little stupid. Together we all went into the maze. It didn't take long before regret set in.
It was overgrown, and we got lost after about ten minutes. Not only that but several of the kids sprouted rashes from touching the plants. The kids were crying, and I was panicking because I was worried that my cousin’s water was going to break. After all, it was nearing her due date. Fortunately, we made our way out, and the kids had their rashes attended to. Thank goodness my cousin gave birth to a healthy baby a few weeks later.
28. It Was Out Of Sight
I was staying at a really massive hotel, and a group of what I can only describe as "rough-looking hippies" were having a wedding reception in the ballroom. I was sitting at the bar, ready to order, when one of the groomsmen invited me to eat and drink. They apparently had too much food and booze, so, of course, I obliged. When I walked into the ballroom, all I could smell was body odor mixed with a hint of food.
It was so hot in that room that some of them weren't wearing shirts—male and female alike—and almost none of them had on shoes. Only a handful of people were dressed somewhat casually. Instead of a DJ, they had a dude on the stage with drums, bongos, a guitar, a rain stick, and I'm pretty sure a digeridoo. I didn't want to be rude, so all I grabbed was grilled asparagus, and then I left as soon as the guy walked out of sight. It was bad.
29. Breakaway Reception
The country club that hosted my cousin's wedding reception thought it would be a great idea to roll out a TV with the Stanley Cup finals on. Neither she nor the groom were hockey fans, so no one was really sure why they did it. However, half of the people in attendance ended up being on the dance floor, and the other half gathered around the TV set and were watching hockey.
30. It Was A Far-Flung Catch
At my cousin's disgustingly huge reception, the DJ gathered all the single ladies to catch the bouquet. I was a very reluctant participant and stood as far at the back as I could. A large shrubbery prevented me from any further retreat. She flung that thing in a massive arc, and it sailed over everybody's head, landing on me. When she turned around and saw me clutching it, she said, "Oh, you caught it? I'll have to throw it again".
31. He Thought He Was The Cat’s Meow
My aunt’s eventual ex-husband showed up to a family wedding wearing overalls with kittens—live kittens—stuffed down the bib of the overalls. He kept requesting strictly ZZ Top songs and would stand in the middle of the dance floor holding the felines up, nodding, and smiling at people while wearing sunglasses indoors the whole night. What a weirdo.
32. Dragged Through The Mud
I was at a wedding in Mexico. It was on a rural site, quite far from civilization, where people had their own traditions, including throwing the groom into the local river. That day my uncle’s "vocho"—Volkswagen Beetle—got stuck in the mud on the way to the wedding. My dad and I had to get out, go the back, and push it out. We ended up covered in mud from head to toe.
33. "Just Married"
I got married in mid-west suburbia in the 90s. While inside partying at the reception, our friends were out decorating the rental car we had with "Just Married" signs, hearts on the windows—the works. They didn't know we had a limo coming, and the rental we used to get there was for my brother and the groom-of-honor to use when they left.
My brother was a slightly graying skinny white guy, and the groom-of-honor was a very tall and built African-American guy. When the limo pulled up and my wife and I left, all our friends were laughing at the mistake, even more so as my brother and the groom-of-honor got into the rental and had to drive 30 minutes to the hotel they were both staying at. People on the highway were honking up a storm until they could see it was two interracial men. They said the look of shock on everyone's face was priceless.
34. I Was Masking For It
It was amid the pandemic, and my brother-in-law was getting married. I hadn’t realized that you were supposed to pull your mask down to drink. For a year and a half, I had been drinking through my mask in public. I was just using it as a strainer, basically. No one ever said a word to me. The bride’s sister was seated at my table and saw me dump a cup of ice on myself while trying to down a Shirley Temple.
She asked me what on earth I was doing. When I explained it to her, she had to send her nephew to go get her purse. She was laughing so hard that she needed her inhaler!
35. Dad Jokes Gone Wrong
At my cousin's reception, the father of the groom got up and started to make inappropriate jokes. He was absolutely ripping the room to shreds and popping everyone. Then, the father of the bride—who was completely trashed—got up and started talking about changing diapers and the cringiest stuff imaginable. The bride was absolutely mortified.
36. Everything’s Gonna Be Alright
At my wedding, my sister brought her own bottle of Moscato, drank it before dinner, and got plastered. She wasn’t supposed to give a speech, but my other sister was too shy to do it alone. When my sloshed sister got her turn, she told everyone how much fun we had going out to bars and how I helped her meet her husband.
She told everyone they were getting divorced but that she was "Going to be ok". That became the running joke with our friends for years later. She then spilled her vino down my back while giving me a hug and aggressively asked every man if they were married the rest of the night.
37. Divine Intervention
When I was younger, I was an altar boy at church. The priest was asked to perform a wedding ceremony, and I, along with another altar boy, came to help him out. We got there about an hour before the wedding started, and this woman came in off the street, into the ceremony, and started with her anti-lesbian propaganda. The other altar boy and I were trying to get out of her way when the priest came out of nowhere and shut her down.
She started going off on the priest about how he should be ashamed to be hosting "this kind of wedding" and how we were all going to a fiery afterlife. Everyone was freaking out, thinking the wedding was ruined. But she messed with the wrong priest. He straight-up picked the woman up, threw her out the doors, slammed them right in her face, and walked off.
Everyone watched as this 75-year-old man threw this lady like it was nothing! Then, he turned to the two of us and said, "We better hurry. The wedding is about to start".
38. Break A Leg
I was having some difficulty standing and walking on my foot leading up to the Friday rehearsal for my wedding. My fiance came over after, and I told her I was having a lot of trouble walking, so we went to the ER. We mentioned to the nurse that we were getting married the following day. As it turned out, this nurse had her wedding reception at the same country club we were holding ours at.
She gave rave reviews, wished us well, and put me in a wheelchair for the rest of the visit. The doctor came over, asked what was going on, and proceeded to manhandle my foot. The pain was excruciating. He took one look at my face and sent me for an X-ray. We were waiting forever, so my fiance went and conked out on a gurney not too far away. While we were waiting, several nurses came by to check on us.
As it so happened, EVERY nurse or orderly that we met or dealt with that night was at the check-in nurse’s wedding. After a rather painful X-ray, they discharged me with a velcro boot with some crutches and told me to stay off my feet for a week or two. My foot was broken, and my wedding was the next day! I had to hobble down the aisle in pain on a bandaged foot. Every wedding photo had me leaning to one side to keep pressure off it. On the upside, we used my crutches for the limbo.
39. My Wedding Was A Cakewalk
At our wedding, as the bridal party was getting ready to enter the reception, the table holding our cake fell over. It seems one of the legs wasn't secured correctly. My wife was obviously panicked. As I—and everyone else—were trying to comfort her, we didn't notice that my aunt, who had made the cake for us, and a few of my cousins had picked it up.
Things went on as planned, thinking that everything is ok if that's the worst thing that happens. As we were eating our dinner, my mom came up and told me that my aunt and cousins were fixing the cake. We went to the back room, and there were ten people, including all of my cousins, working on decorating the cake again. Luckily, the cake didn't actually fall on the floor, just the table cloth.
They couldn't get it back to its original design, and the topper was missing a leg, but less than an hour after it fell, they wheeled it out, and everyone got to enjoy it just as planned. It went from a moment of panic to a fun story to tell.
40. Mamma Went Commando
When I was driving to meet up with my mom to get into my wedding dress, I realized that I never changed out of the granny panties I had on when I went to get my hair done and into my cute lacy panties for the wedding. When I met up with my mom, I told her how stupid I felt because it was such a small detail, and it was bumming me out.
So, my mom took off her very cute, lacy white underwear and gave them to me while she went pantiless at my wedding! We vowed we would never tell anyone.
41. There Was No Cause For Alarm
My mom was 20 minutes late for her wedding. She was riding to the church with her sister, who was both the maid of honor and an ER nurse working the night shift. My aunt didn't wake up to her alarm, so they ran a little late. My dad got really nervous waiting for my mom and wanted to bolt. His best man got between him and the door and told him he wasn't going anywhere.
My dad was a big dude, so standing up to him took nerve. The best man was a brave soul who saved a good marriage.
42. We Were Left In A Pickle
My husband was in a wedding party. We went to the groom's family's house before the ceremony, and they had snack food. They asked if we wanted some, but it was so close to the wedding we didn't want to fill up on anything. My husband made a point of asking the groom if there was a meal at the reception, and he said, "Yes, of course".
At the reception hall, there was a full dining table set out for the wedding party, complete with table settings. We were all waiting around for the food to be served. It was getting very late, and we were STARVING. No one seemed to know what the deal was with the head table or where any of the food was. We finally had to sneak out and go to a drive-through to grab something to eat.
After, we went back to the reception. By the time we got back, they had set out a little table with crackers and pickles. That was the meal. It was by far the worst wedding we've ever been a part of. The bride and groom divorced a couple of years later.
43. They Went Hog Wild
My mom and dad were invited to a very pretentious wedding. The food was so sophisticated that people didn't understand it and mistook it for small bits on the plate. At the end of the rehearsal lunch, everyone was still hungry and unsatisfied. My dad's hillbilly relatives had homemade pork loin, salami, and bread in their cars.
So, they took matters into their own hands and organized a second rehearsal in the parking lot, cutting bread and loin on the trunks of their cars. Guests joined the after-party in the parking lot. The bride was so embarrassed that she cried, and the groom ate the best meal of the day when his uncles gave him a big sandwich.
44. The Groom Caught A Lot Of Flak
I was at a wedding where the groom was a decorated service member who had saved his entire squad from a burning munitions bunker in Afghanistan. He had already done three voluntary tours and was about to go on tour for the fourth time. His soon-to-be wife was not in favor of him going, but unbeknownst to her, the groom had already signed up.
The next thing we knew, she was yelling at the groom, calling him all sorts of names. Then, she kicked it up a notch. She then took the whole six-layer cake, smashed and smothered it all over him. After about 15 minutes of arguing, the bride started to drink heavily. By the end, she was so looped that she was making out with her bridesmaid, who she later ended up marrying.
45. Flashdance
When my husband and I had been dating for a few months, I was invited to his brother’s wedding. He was in the wedding party and was already there, but I was running late. I wore a knee-length skirt and couldn't find undies that didn't show a panty line, so I skipped them altogether, figuring I would be safe given the length of my skirt.
What I didn't plan on were the five drinks I would have or the bumping music that would be playing. Everyone was getting down a little dirty on the dance floor, and my husband hiked my leg up around him. My entire skirt scrunched up over my behind. Very few women can actually say that the first time they met their inlaws, they were flashing them bare-bottomed.
46. The Groom Was Out Cold
Back in the day, I went to a small-town church wedding. The bride had just graduated from high school and was eight months pregnant, and the groom was a deadbeat from another state who'd just been passing through. Her family kept watch and made sure he at least made it to the ceremony, but he was nearly passing out completely sloshed as it all kicked off.
I saw him outside in the parking lot puffing away and downing Jim Beam, looking like a real mess. Meanwhile, the maid of honor hadn't shown up yet, so the nervous minister called for a 30-minute delay. An hour later, they gave up and started the music. Within a minute, the church doors banged open as the maid of honor yelled out, "Wait! Wait! I'm here"!
As she dashed up the aisle—clomping in some strange boots—she revealed that she was wearing blue jeans under her gown. The crowd broke into uncontrollable laughter. Meanwhile, the bride started screaming at her saying how selfish she was and how she had ruined her wedding day. Meanwhile, the groom had to have a stool brought over so he could sit down because he was no longer able to support himself.
The minister called for a ten-minute time-out, and finally, the ceremony got underway. The bride appeared solo at the reception banquet because her husband had passed out. The following day, the groom woke up early, jumped in his truck, and drove off. The marriage was annulled, and she raised the child on her own until she got married for real a few years later.
47. Dude, Where’s My Car?
I forgot the ring at my wedding, so my brother jumped in my dad's nearly new Buick and rushed back to the house to get the ring. Then, something went terribly wrong. He came back to the church driving his cargo van. I asked him where the car was, and he said, "Don't worry about it". After some prodding, he told me it wasn’t drivable because the front tires were looking at each other. Not good.
We went through the ceremony, and I was scared that my dad was going to destroy us both when he found out his car was wrecked. After the ceremony, we went out and my brother told my mom and her answer was, "Don't tell your dad yet". My brother’s answer was, "Ya know mom, as the days go by, I'm pretty sure dad's going to notice he doesn't have a car".
When we were getting the photos taken, my brother was on the phone with the authorities reporting the accident. Somewhere I'm sure there is a picture of my brother in his tux at the park talking to officers explaining why he did a hit and run on some farmer’s fence, went into the field, then back onto the road, and kept going. I wish I could have been there to see it.
Then, there was my daughter who was three at the time and the flower girl. She practiced and was really excited, but no one told her the church would be full of people. She had her basket, walked into the aisle, and stopped suddenly. All you heard was her little voice say, "All the people". I crouched down, called her, and she came up the aisle to see me, spreading her flowers.
When she grew up and was getting married herself, as we came around the corner to walk her down the aisle, I looked over at her and said, "We told you there would be people here this time, right"? She was laughing as we went down the aisle. It made for great pictures as she had a huge smile as we walked.
48. Bathroom Break
At my uncle’s wedding reception, there was a fancy port-a-potty that looked like a real bathroom, and the outside looked like a trailer. Everyone was under this huge tent. When I was out on the dance floor, I had to use the bathroom. I went into one of the stalls, but when I tried to leave it, the door handle came off. I was then trapped and screaming for help.
Ten minutes later, my aunt—the bride—came in with her friends and heard me. Five minutes later, there were ten people in this small bathroom standing around while someone got a crowbar. My aunt’s friends were claustrophobic and screaming, trying to reassure me while I was standing in the stall completely calm. It was as if they thought they were the ones stuck. Then, my trashed uncle—the groom—finally made it in with the crowbar and pried me out.
49. The Big Slip
I was a bridesmaid for a friend. Her four or five-year-old niece was the flower girl. The whole affair was pretty big with loads of people. Everyone stood in their places as the wedding was in progress. For some reason, they had the flower girl stand at the front of the church with the wedding party after doing her flower thing. That turned out to be a huge mistae.
There was a slide show with some cheesy country song playing as the bride and groom stood there staring into each other’s eyes. It went on forever. There were five of us bridesmaids. We stood at the front, but the maid of honor and best man stood up on a stage-like platform during the ceremony, and so did the flower girl.
The flower girl was getting antsy during the slideshow, but a glare from the bride’s mom brought her back to focus. The vows started. The kid got bored again and started taking tiny steps backward while swinging her little basket that still had flower petals in it. She kept backing up until her heels reached the edge of the platform and she began WILDLY rotating her arms to maintain her balance, all the while scattering petals and remaining silent.
We were instructed to maintain a solemn face because the whole thing was being taped, but I started to crack up. It was the most ridiculous thing I've ever seen! This little girl was flailing, and no one was going to her aid. The step was only about 6 inches, so she wasn’t in danger of getting hurt. I held my breath, trying hard not to laugh. My shoulders were shaking. No one else in my view seemed to even notice what was happening!
Despite my best efforts, I couldn’t contain it. I made an awfully loud noise and tried to cover it with a cough. A bridesmaid turned and glared at me, which made things so much worse. The flower girl was still flailing her arms, but she had abandoned the flower basket, and her back started arching when she suddenly got her footing. Then came the grand finale.
She bent down to pick up her basket...then passed gas with the capacity of a man the size of Jason Momoa. The acoustics of the auditorium were exquisite! I don’t know how no one else was cracking up over this. It was absolutely hilarious.
50. On Thin Ice
My son was just starting to be potty trained. We started teaching him how to pee in the backyard. We went to a super posh wedding in the heart of the city and took him. The reception was in a garden courtyard that was fenced in. We weren't too worried about where he was until my wife asked, "Have you seen our son"? I hadn’t. By then, it was too late.
Then I heard my wife yell, "Oh my God! He's peeing on that ice sculpture"! That's right. My 4-year-old son had his pants and undies all the way down to his ankles, spraying a golden stream onto a very elaborate ice sculpture of the goddess Venus. The wedding photographer caught it all.
Sources:
