No one can choose their family, and sometimes that results in some nightmare parents and siblings. From selfish mothers and fathers to straight-up idiot brothers and sisters, these Redditors took to the internet to vent about their horrible, ridiculous, and sometimes unbelievable family situations. Get ready to feel good about your problems.
1. It’s Not About You
This has been the worst week of my life and it isn’t over yet. My son perished in a motorcycle accident on Saturday. I’m obviously devastated. With that said, let me get straight to the point. When my “mom” found out, she called me and bemoaned the fact that she had four kids and now has only one grandchild left, my younger son.
Yes, she literally made it about her on the day my baby passed. Let’s call this the appetizer portion of her behavior. Because she was about to escalate it. At that point, I was still in such shock that this didn’t totally make my radar. Now for the soup/salad course of her being a horrible human. She called my partner of three years (late in life lesbian here).
As my incredible partner is trying to comfort my mother, my mom takes it upon herself to let my partner know that she is not allowed to go to the funeral because it’s “not about lesbian lovers”. My partner was, of course, deeply hurt by this as she loved my son fiercely. This broke through the fog of my grief and made me incandescently angry.
Then this witch shows up to my home the next day to tell me that she was only thinking of me. I told her to get the heck out of my house. Now we come to the entree portion of her behavior. My amazing sister knew what was going on with our lovely mother and was handling her for me because I just can’t be bothered to deal with her right now.
My son is being cremated and we arranged a private viewing for family before the cremation. My sister informed her, VERY clearly, that the viewing would begin at noon and that mom could come to the funeral home at 12:30 so that my other son and I could have our time with him first. That horrible woman showed up before we even got there.
My sister had to force her out of the room so that my son and I could have our time to say goodbye. But I had no idea what was in store for me. She then proceeds to wail like something out of a movie…in the lobby of the funeral home. She never said one word to my son or myself, then just left. I’m so hurt and angry that I can’t begin to explain it.
I don’t doubt that her pain is real but this is more than I can bear. My son’s memorial service was yesterday. It was beautiful. I heard his friends tell such amazing stories about him, things I never knew, and it filled me with pride. He was a better man than even I knew. It was a packed house to the point that the chapel was completely full and people were standing in the lobby.
There aren’t words for what it meant to me. So, on to the dessert course with my mom. She showed up to the visitation prior to the service and apparently got so messed up on something (don’t know what it was or who gave it to her) that she couldn’t stay awake and left before the service. Mildly embarrassing but probably the best possible outcome.
In my grief, I am still angry that she couldn’t muster up the decency to be a mom to me but she didn’t mess up my son’s send off so I guess I am grateful. I don’t know what happens from here with our relationship but it will either be very low contact or no contact. Nonetheless, I have my partner, my other sweet boy, and lots of other friends and family to lean on.
2. Netflix And No Chill
My friend got tired of her Golden Child Stepsister mooching off her Netflix account after they had a petty argument over the phone. The sister called my friend screaming at her about what a witch she is. Talking about how she'll never amount to anything, and how she's just a waste of space—meanwhile, the sister is $60k in debt in student loans.
Oh, and she dropped out in her final year. My friend decided she'd had enough. She then also changed the password to her Hulu and Amazon Prime accounts too, cutting her spoiled sister off further. After her sister exploded, my friend simply texted her saying, "You could always pay for your own accounts". The sister’s response was so priceless".
I don't have any more money you witch! Sephora was having a sale so I'm tapped out! Screw you!” My friend and I are still laughing about this as we binge-watch shows on her accounts.
3. We All Go Down Together
Back when my awful sister was planning her wedding, her even worse mother-in-law wanted to be a part of it. Unfortunately for everyone involved, this woman wanted her family traditions involved. The food...okay, the giant line dance...okay, but then she sprang the big one on my poor mother. It was apparently a tradition in her family that unmarried older daughters had to do a dance in a pig trough at the reception.
Well, my sister and brother-in-law thought that would be hilarious. Being that I was the only unmarried older daughter...So funny. My poor mom was getting torn down by this mother-in-law—because it was just a JOKE. That was repeated and insisted on in every single phone call. Meanwhile, my mom is just trying to protect me from that spectacle and wasn’t telling me.
But finally, I saw her crying and she told me what was going on. But there was one thing they weren’t counting on. At that point, I was only a short time out of a very horrible relationship. I didn't remember how to say "no" yet, but I did remember how to say "I'm taking you all down with me". And oh boy, did I ever come up with a genius plan.
I told the mother-in-law that I'd be happy to do that dance in front of her entire family…undressed. And only undressed. Suddenly, it wasn't so funny anymore. Eventually, they all shut up about it, but that was the last time that woman ever spoke to me. It's been 12 years, by the way.
4. Grandfathered In
So my fiancée and I have been together for about three years total and engaged for almost a year. We are planning to get married after the baby arrives. She's seven months pregnant and we are having a boy. Here's where the drama starts. My grandfather passed in a heroic but devastating way when I was young. Since then, I have always wanted to name my first son after him.
He was my mom's dad, and she wanted this even more than me. She has always, always stressed to me how important and meaningful this would be, but I've always wanted to do this as well. My grandfather didn't have the stereotypical old-man name but actually had a name that is still common today. His name is also actually my fiancée’s dad's name.
My fiancée never spoke about her dad other than telling me when we first started dating that she does not have a relationship with him and wants to leave it at that. She also told me a shortened name of his name which sounds similar but is different to my grandfather's. But anyway, I never pressed her about it. I didn't connect this at the time, but she never addressed my grandfather by name.
She just called him my grandfather. However, I thought this was normal because she's never met him and that's what I call him. I can't forget her reply when I told her what I wanted to name our son. She said no. I couldn't believe she said no so flat-out like that. I kept trying to convince her, letting her know how important and meaningful this was to me and the name is still common today.
It's not like I wanted to name him an ugly or outdated name. I found her crying a couple times though and she eventually broke down and told me that that was her father's name too and her father seriously mistreated her from the ages of 12-18, when she left for college. I felt horrible and of course, told her we won't call our son that. I love the name and I love my grandfather.
I miss him terribly and would love to honor him in this way, but I love my fiancée more than anything and I don't want her to spend the rest of her life having that name in regular use. I also don't want it to feel like to her or anyone else that we named our son after her father. Selfishly, it really sucks that we won't be naming our son this name.
But I am trying to come to terms with that. But that's not the problem really—my family’s reaction was 100 times worse. My parents and especially my mom and extended family on mom's side as well as my siblings have been doing everything imaginable to try to convince us to call our son this name. My fiancée ended up actually telling my mom what happened and why we won't use this name.
This was hard for her to do because other than her own mom and therapist, she had never told anyone else about what happened. My mom acted sympathetic and understanding but ended up telling everyone else in our family what happened. Now everyone is contacting us to offer "support" and console my fiancée but also to tell her about how wonderful my grandfather was.
They keep saying how the name would be after him and not her father and what a great name it is. I put my foot down (or so I thought) and told everyone that enough was enough and they had to stop contacting us. We blocked a lot of people on Facebook and a lot of phone numbers. This was a few months ago though, and now that the baby will be here in just two months, it’s gotten so much worse.
People have actually started referring to our son with the name. My mom made a post with a lot of photos of baby gifts and equipment and talked about how she was soooo excited to meet her grandson "______" who will be named after her father. My dad shared the post as well as most of her family. My siblings made their own posts about how they’re excited to meet their nephew, calling him by that name.
100% they are trying to name him that so that when he's born, everyone will already think that's his name and we'll think we might as well just name him that officially. I have spoken to my parents and my mom privately so many times. I also gave her an earful when she blabbed my fiancée’s secret. But it doesn't seem like anything is working.
My fiancée is distressed and cries almost every day, and every time she goes on social media. We did change her phone number though so that my family would no longer be able to text her. I'm just not sure what to do from here.
5. Meet Your New Mom
My mom has 75% and primary physical custody of us kids but my parents share legal custody. However, my dad is an awful jerk so I refused to see him after I was 13. Later, for various reasons, my mom and I moved to another state. My mom never remarried but my dad had a series of girlfriends throughout my childhood. This never really bothered me.
After all, he left when I was six weeks old and I never actually knew what it was like when my parents were romantically involved. Anyways, one day when I was something like 13 years old, I come back from school to find an odd car parked on the street and my dad basically said “okay, you’re gonna meet my new girlfriend now". I went along with him and just kind of ignored him with a very bored look on my face.
That annoyed him, but whatever. I walk into the basement and there’s a random woman there. She’s significantly younger than my dad, who is in his 50s. She looks me up and down. I couldn’t believe her next words. With the most saccharine sweet tone she says, “Hi! I’m your new mom” and smiles at me. At this moment I was like “Oh, heck no”.
For what it’s worth, my mom raised me completely on her own and financed everything. My father did not pay child support. My mom took care of me in every way and she is the only one of the two who I consider an actual parent. So this witch was in no way my mom. I told her “screw off,” turned around, and went back up the stairs.
I couldn’t drive at the time but I was not having it. But they weren’t even finished. They followed me up to the driveway and kept bothering me and asking why that offended me. Then this girl tries to come up and hug me and I shoved her off me. I still had my backpack and jacket with me, so I decided to just leave. They followed me for a while and tried to chase me down.
However, a 13-year-old who is very angry is a lot faster than a 50-year-old man and his very annoying girlfriend who should have not worn heels that day. Once I got far enough away and closer to my mom’s, I texted her to come pick me up and that was that. This was one of the last interactions I had with my father before cutting him off completely.
I find this story hilarious, though then again I use humor to cope.
6. Bigger And Better
This post is about my cousin's ex-girlfriend. Back in 2003 (if my memory serves me right), my cousin began dating a woman who was smarter, nicer, and way more successful than he was. As the outsider looking in, I never quite understood why she chose to be with him. More than that, my aunt and uncle (my cousin's parents) never treated her with the respect that she deserved.
In fact, they despised her for being able to outshine their precious prince in every way possible. My cousin's chauvinism too would rear its ugly head and he would pick fights with her over the dumbest things. One such fight that my dad and I witnessed was him telling her not to accept a job offer that would pay her double what he was making at the time.
About a month after that, my dad received a call from her tearfully telling him that my cousin had left her for another girl. And what’s more, he did it over the phone. She said she knew who the other girl was and that she was probably with my cousin when he broke up with her, as she could hear her voice. They had been together for two years at this point.
This sad excuse for a human being didn't even have the decency to break up with her in person. My family’s reaction was despicable. As expected, my aunt and uncle defended their son. According to them, it was obviously his girlfriend's fault for "not knowing her place". My cousin's new girlfriend couldn't hold a candle to his ex in terms of talent and accomplishments.
But she did stroke his ego and didn't threaten his super-fragile masculinity, so he ended up marrying and having a kid with her. Fast forward to now, my cousin was laid off from his last job. The circumstances of his dismissal are not known to me. But there is one juicy truth. What I have found out is that, at his new job, his boss's boss...is the woman he had betrayed and humiliated years ago.
I can only imagine what this is doing to the jerk within my cousin and I cannot help but smile when I think about it. I learned all this from my dad. My dad is still in touch with one of the former girlfriend’s uncles and we decided to get her number and get in touch with her. Yesterday, my dad and I face-timed with her for nearly an hour.
She asked me about my life and I told her all about my job, my boyfriend, etc. She said she was happy for me. She told us she had been happily married for eight years now and had two daughters. She looked confident and radiant. I jokingly asked her how she planned to punish my cousin. She laughed and said she would probably thank him for breaking up with her and making her realize that he just wasn't right for her.
Her smile was that of someone who has completely healed. Someone who can say "thank you for doing what you did to me, my life is better because of it". The sense of pride and vindication I felt was almost overwhelming. She had won and she bloody well knew it!
7. To The Left To The Left
I'm super pregnant. I'm in my last trimester now and we waited until I was 22 weeks to tell my family due to complications. We're fine, but we've been spending all this time building our nursery and being excited to be parents. My husband worked on the nursery himself, without my overbearing family or his knowing about it. He is a very proud dad and it's helped him bond immensely with our baby, who isn't even here yet.
My family, full of awful people, is split in two. My dad's family isn't involved in this story—I'm fighting them on another front, but they took the news of the completed nursery very well. My mother's family, specifically my aunt and cousin, didn't take it well, but they were relieved I only wanted books from them for the baby's library. My cousin has been in competition with me since she was a child.
I don't know why, she’s the golden child and got everything she always wanted. I ignored her my whole life and never competed, which I think made it worse. She has repeatedly told our grandparents and her mom that I'm a thief. She claims I've always taken her things, called her rude names, and she always manages to get everyone worked up about it.
It's always been disproven, her things are always found, but the family always buys it. It hurt so much the last time that I refused to be around my cousin without a second witness to our interactions. Thanks to that, there was no drama for three years because my husband was always with me. After hearing I'd gotten married (we eloped in a ceremony abroad), had a destination honeymoon, and was now having a baby, she wasn’t happy. I think that’s when she snapped. I'm now having the first great-grandchild for both families, which is a big deal for my cultural background. She tried after our announcement to "take over" my baby shower.
However, I told the family I wasn't having one because we already got everything we needed. I have tons of clothes, furniture, etc. So I asked for books instead. Dinner went great with the whole side of the family being excited. However, I knew something was coming my way from my cousin because I'd refused her "generous offer" about the baby shower, thus not giving her any attention.
She texts me several days later (she shouldn't have had my number in hindsight) and told me she'd be coming by my house to drop off "gifts" for my baby. I told her no thanks, we weren't taking gifts. She tells me she's coming by at this time and I told her I'd be out. I also said that even if I was home I'm not taking them, and I'm not having any discussions with her about my pregnancy or baby. You can guess what happened next.
She showed up anyway. She was apparently banging and screaming at my door (I have video footage from my Waze camera) so much that my neighbor called the authorities. They showed up and surprise! She has a warrant for unpaid traffic citations and was driving under a suspended license. So she gets locked up. Between my appointment and an emergency visit to the hospital (bloodwork issues, we wanted to confirm baby was okay), she'd managed to tell my family a different story.
I'd apparently opened the door, called her horrible names and called her gifts cheap, kicked her when she tried to take them back, and then slammed the door in her face with the gifts. I then apparently called the authorities, told them she had a warrant, and lied telling them she'd physically gone for me. She then went to lockup and was treated horribly.
I thought for sure my family had to know she was full of it—I was in the hospital for my baby. I was shocked at their reaction. They believed her. They came at me with texts, calls, voicemails, and all of it nasty. They didn't believe me at all. My mother and bio-grandmother did, however, and tried to set the family straight. I decided I was done.
I'm not defending myself, why should I? I sent out a message to everyone that if they were going to believe my cousin, they were no longer allowed near my family. I would disown them all. I had proof she was lying. They didn’t believe me and kept up the nastiness. I blocked them all. Three weeks later, the church ladies at my work told me that the whole family was talking ugly about me to the whole (small) town.
I then showed them the texts and video since they were so shocked about what my family was saying. Once they saw the video and my pictures from the hospital (I made a video for myself of me watching my baby’s heart rate and the clock, so it kind of proves where I was) they were horrified. They stopped bothering me about it then and it got quiet.
A week ago, my cousin’s story truly fell apart when my grandfather and uncle ran into the officer who detained her. The church ladies and the officer backed my story up, and my cousin crumbled when she was confronted. The family is horrified, and my aunt and cousin are on the outs. They found out she also had substances in her car, so she's lost her golden child status.
My whole family has been trying to come by my house, only to discover my neighborhood has a new key-code gate. My mother called me today to ask what she should do, as my grandfather came by her house sobbing about the whole thing. I told her it wasn't my issue and I was sorry for her being caught up in it, but I'm not budging. I disowned them. And I went one step further.
I removed my family name from my hyphenated last name and just took my husband's. I deleted my Facebook. I changed my number. We are listed privately. I won, as sad as it is, because they're now facing the consequences of their actions. And I'm sad. I want my family, but they need to stay away. I can never give them another chance. What if they hurt me or, Gods forbid, my child next time with their behavior?
I'm at a loss. My mother says they want to send a letter. But do I even read it? My mother has effectively told the entire family I want to be left alone, she will not be passing any messages on to me from this point further, and that any more contact would involve our attorney. It got very quiet today and I'm quite relieved about it. I had my husband block everyone's number.
I also sent my lovely church ladies (who bring me food and visit sometimes) a message detailing that I was too stressed to hear about my ex-family anymore. I asked that we drop that uncomfortable subject when they visit and they were happy to oblige. We had a small visit today and all we talked about was my nursery for the baby. Going forward I've decided to stick by my no-contact rule.
I am not giving these people any more real estate in my mind.
8. What Goes Around Comes Around
I'm Indian and in my country, until a few years ago, you could get steel utensils from door-to-door vendors in exchange for clothes. This barter system still exists in villages and some small towns. My grandmother, being the insane hoarder that she was, loved getting utensils in this manner. Utensils that no one else was allowed to touch, that she would never use and would only gather dust in her room.
Any time my stepmom or my dad tried to donate our old clothes to charity, she would throw a hissy fit. She'd collect all the clothes we weren't going to wear anymore so she could exchange them for pots and pans. At times she would take it a step further and demand clothes that we were still going to wear. She would insist that they don't fit us anymore, or some other argument to get us to hand them over.
Seriously, we had to sometimes fight her to keep our clothes. Oh but she never, I mean NEVER, gave away her own clothes. She only took garments from others, namely me, my dad, my stepmom, and my stepbrother. When I was around 21, I had just lost a lot of weight and needed new clothes. Yes, I lived with my parents. In India, you can't afford to live independently unless you have a well-paying job and I was in college at that time.
So one day I went to a local store's clearance sale and bought a bunch of new threads. I left them on my bed and went off to a friend's place. When I returned a few hours later, my new clothes were gone! My dad, stepmom, and brother weren't home, so I figured out instantly who must've taken them. I confronted the Grandmonster and asked what she'd done with my clothes.
She was sitting on her bed admiring her latest haul of pots and pans. Without even looking up, she told me my clothes were ugly and "too westernized". And that she did the right thing by exchanging them for "something useful". At that point, I lost it. I yelled, cursed at her, called her every name in the book. And she had the audacity to actually defend her actions.
That evening, there was a major showdown in our home. I was still livid and asked my dad exactly how long we were going to put up with her. My stepmother and I don't get along, but when one of us was up against Grandmonster, the other always lent her support. This was no different, and my stepmother agreed with me wholeheartedly.
My dad told Grandmonster that she was now forbidden from entering my room without my prior permission. She started to fake cry and said we were all being so cruel to her. My dad later came to my room and said he would make it up to me and buy me new clothes. I, of course, was still livid. And I wasn't about to let that witch have this victory. So I got my revenge.
My grandmother needed sleeping pills to fall asleep. She took them even during the day. So a few days later, I snuck into her room during her afternoon nap. I opened her "utensils trunk" (yes, she had a whole trunk full of them) and took out a whole bunch of her beloved pots, glasses, plates etc. I shut the lid quietly and exited. I went straight to an old-age shelter that was nearby.
I donated the utensils and earned the joy of giving and the taste of sweet, sweet revenge. I didn't tell anyone what I had done and just waited for Grandmonster to discover her loss. Which she did, just a few days later. It happened in the evening. I was in the kitchen cooking dinner when I heard her ear-piercing wailings about how someone had pilfered from her utensils chest.
A satisfied smile spread across my face. My dad called me into Grandmonster's room and asked if I knew anything about the missing utensils. I admitted that I had taken and donated them. Grandmonster looked like her head would explode. I calmly told her I had done the right thing because those utensils were "ugly" and that the shelter needed them more.
And clearly, if she could come into my room and take my things without asking, I could jolly well do the same! I think my dad was upset with me but really had nothing to say to me. He spent the next hour or so trying to calm his mother down. I slept so well that night. When Grandmonster passed a few years later, the first of her belongings that we got rid of were those utensils.
9. Using It As A Crutch
I have misaligned hips, causing a lot of pain whenever I walk for a distance without the assistance of a wheelchair or cane. I usually only use the cane when I’m going to the mall with my friends since it is annoying to maneuver in the wheelchair, but I much prefer the chair since it allows for a pillow on my bad hip. This brings me to the disaster that was yesterday.
I’m going to my mom’s house this weekend. She called me to explain that my stepsister, who is about my age at 18, has torn her ACL and needs to use my wheelchair after her surgery. I don’t have any malice toward my step-siblings, but I’ve only met them a handful of times. The issue I have is that this weekend is the same day that a group of friends and I are going on a colonial tour around the city for my birthday.
When I asked if she could just ask the doctor for one or crutches for that matter, mom said it would come out of pocket since her insurance won’t cover it. I told her that my stepsister can have my cane, but I’m going to need my wheelchair since the tour was a whole day of walking. Mom got annoyed and started to sigh. I still can’t believe the “ultimatum” she gave me.
She said that I can use the cane, but the wheelchair was going to my stepsister. Or I could reschedule for another weekend—which would most likely mean never going as there aren’t any refunds nor enough money to pay for another ticket that I had to pay with my own money. I said the last part was fine (seeing as it was on my birthday weekend and not on the day) but she would have to pay for our tickets for us to go again.
She scoffed and said that it would cost more than buying a pair of crutches. I tried to explain that it would still be cheaper than buying a new wheelchair like mine. But she just kept shutting me down, saying that my stepsister will be getting the wheelchair for the weekend and for me to make do with the cane. The argument ended with “I’m not asking, I’m telling” and her hanging up on me without saying another word.
I admit that I was feeling a little bit spiteful after this. So I came up with a way to get her back. The other day I asked my friend if I could store my wheelchair in the back of her trunk for the trip. After all, I was planning on just going to her house after the trip even before she called. Me playing dumb is the best plan, I’m going to say I just forgot or something.
It didn’t help my mood that when I was looking up prices for crutches, the prices that she was looking at were for brand new ones rather than going on second-hand sites for ones a quarter of the price. When I tried to screenshot some of them and send them to her, she simply replayed the “we already have the wheelchair so it’s fine”. Yeah, MY wheelchair. And no, you don’t.
I feel like a jerk for planning on hiding my chair but this will be the first time in a few years that I’m actually celebrating my birthday and I don’t want to spend the whole time either in pain or resenting my stepsister for making me lose a lump sum of money I had to work overtime for. Either way, I’m going to be agitated because my mom won’t listen to any of my suggestions or see things from my point of view.
10. Animal Instincts
I had a pet kitten when I was roughly nine years old that we only had for a month. My parents got her from a pet store with bowls, food, etc. And one day I come home from school and she was gone. They said they got tired of buying stuff for her, and that she was smelly and so they gave it away. But here’s the worst part. I remember them buying her because I was lonely and wanted a friend.
Then it happened AGAIN. The second time, I was a bit older, I'll say 12-13ish. Well, they had a bunch of turtles and they gave those away after a year or so. They didn't even do much so I’ll never understand why my parents felt they were a burden. I was the one in charge of cleaning their water and feeding them. I’d let them roam the house and put them back afterward.
They were happy. And I liked decorating their containers to make them look "tropical". Again, one day I come home and they’re gone. The third time, we had a hamster. I was about 17? It was a gift given to my brother. But he didn’t really like it and as such ignored and neglected the poor thing. He didn’t even bother to name it so I did. I named it and went out and bought it food and a rolly ball thing he can get inside of to roam the house.
A week goes by and my parents notice me taking care of it. My mom tells me, "you know why he doesn’t want that thing right?" I say I don’t know and she goes "his ex-girlfriend gave him that thing. He probably gets sad every time he sees it too, because it reminds him of his ex-girlfriend". I tell her, "he saw me playing with it and said it's cool that I want it. He seems fine to me".
She just gave me this mad look and goes "we're getting rid of it because we don’t want him to be reminded of his ex for no reason". A few days later, the hamster was gone. It was a very affectionate little thing too and used to come to me when I called for it. My dad used to make fun when I called for it and to this day when he feels like being a total jerk he will mimic my voice and try "calling for the hamster".
The worst part of it all was that the only pets that lasted long (more than a few months) were my mom’s pets. She had this parrot for years and she made it loud and clear that the obnoxious loud bird was HER pet. She would buy it toys and perches on the walls for it. But she would also tell me I needed to clean the cage for her. So one day, it was summer and I opened her cage.
That idiot bird flew right out one of the open windows (my mom was cleaning the floors and airing things out). My mom ran outside then came back in and screamed her head off at me and demanded I buy her a new parrot immediately even though those things are $500+ and I was a broke college student taking out loans to make ends meet. But I had the perfect response.
I told her "I’ll buy you a parrot when you give me back my kitten, my turtles, and my hamster". She said I was crazy, whined some more, but she never brought up her parrot again after that.
11. Pony It Up
My dad finally got what he deserved in court today. I'm an adult now but he “kept his child support payments hostage” so to speak since I cut ties with him at 15 for his awful behavior. He now owes a grand total of $20,736. The court found him to be so untrustworthy that they have ordered that the amount come directly out of his paycheck each month until the debt is paid.
My next two years of college will be free thanks to him. See you never, Tom! I also just found out through some less awful family members that my dad's pregnant wife is NOT happy with the fact that he is now 20k in the hole with a baby on the way and she is seriously considering divorce. If she goes through with it, he will have to pay child support all over again for another 18 years. I am guffawing.
12. What’s In A Name?
My wife is seven months pregnant, and my brother's girlfriend is four months. The other day I made a joke about "claiming" a baby name. It was just a reference to a game my brother and I played as kids, where we pointed at random stuff and said "I claim it" and the objective was to build the coolest inventory. The girlfriend knew about the game and got upset because my joke had accidentally "claimed" her father's name.
We assured her it was a joke and we wouldn't be using the name, but she was really upset. This wasn't the hill to go out on so I went and apologized to the girlfriend's standards—a full-on apology where I said that I messed up, promised not to make the joke again, and said I wouldn't make references she didn't get after this. But then it got completely deranged.
She then said, for her own peace of mind, that she needed to see our list of baby name ideas to prove that we weren't choosing her father's name. I thought that was already a bit much, but my wife pretty much said "look, the worst is over, at this stage what's the harm of just showing her the list?" I agreed so we texted my brother the list of potential baby names.
We had two options for first names, and our chosen middle name, which was a family name from my wife's family that both her brother and grandfather have. He then calls me and says that "she thinks the middle name is too close to her father's. She says is there anything else you can use?" I explain the significance of the name to both of them over the phone and it's what we're using.
They say that it's too close and we need to pick another name. I then, sarcastically, say "and do we have your approval for our first names?" to which the girlfriend responds "well, actually..". and goes on to tell me that they really like one of our two choices (the one we were leaning more towards) and ask if we can use our other option so they can have the one they like.
It's a gender-neutral name and not only do they not know the gender of the child she's currently carrying but they plan to have more children. I love my brother, I really do, but this is ridiculous. I have to put my foot down, I know, but we're really close and I don't want to completely screw up our relationship by ticking off his pregnant girlfriend. But, man.
13. Boy, Bye
My husband is a misogynist and I am done shoving his behavior under the rug. A few weeks ago, he kept making comments about my weight. Well last night, I snapped. He wanted to talk politics. He only ever wants to talk about politics when he wants to fight with me. He out of NOWHERE looks at me and says, “Women aren’t elected into positions of power because they can’t make the tough decisions. Pre-menopausal women are too moody. And women all together as a whole just aren’t as intelligent as men".
I scoffed and said, “That’s such a cop-out to stop women from being in positions of power. Men are just as hormonal and moody as women. You DO know that women mature faster mentally than men do, right? And that women have an easier time identifying and correcting their negative emotions?” Him: “Well, I’m a numbers guy. I like to look at the facts. Unlike you who just spouts off garbage she knows absolutely nothing about and demands that she is right. I’m going to look up some FACTS for you right now”.
Me: “Great. I want to hear articles written by actual doctors". Him: “Don’t talk to me like I’m stupid. I actually get my news from reputable sources". He then spent TEN MINUTES trying to find a scientific article that supported his opinion. When he found one that he thought supported his opinion he very loudly started quoting it. Then came the best part.
He then immediately started trailing off when it started disproving his thoughts. Me: “So, what you’re really trying to say is that the ‘garbage’ I was spouting was actually fact. I know it was fact because I studied psychology in college. So, AGAIN. Saying women are too hormonal to be in positions of power is an excuse that men made in order to keep us oppressed".
Him: “You’re literally so stupid". Me: “Keep deflecting because you know you’re losing the argument". I got up and grabbed my college textbooks and notes that I have stored on a bookshelf. I set them next to him. Me: “Two things. Don’t spout off garbage that you know nothing about and demand that you are right without looking at the facts. AND don’t be a hypocrite. It’s unbecoming and makes you look stupid when you are trying to prove a point".
Him: “What’s all of this?” Me: “My textbooks and notes from college. Read them thoroughly, particularly the notes so that the next time you want to come after me about a topic that I am clearly more educated about, you’ll know how to properly base your argument. So much for men being more intelligent than women. This is why I’m a feminist. This is why I’m leaving you".
I walked out of the room and went to bed. I had never slept so well in my life. I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
14. It’s My Party, I’ll Be A Jerk If I Want To
My dad and I are currently on our way to a big Mexican birthday party and he likes to talk about ol' back-in-the-day stories. Now I've heard each of these a few times over but got a new one I never heard about. I wasn't born yet in this story and my older brother was only a few years old. My dad was freshly dating my mom. My mom and brother were living at my grandma's house, my dad’s mother-in-law.
My mom called my dad crying because the mother-in-law was taking over my brother’s milestone birthday party. Nothing was how my mom wanted it: Decorations, food, and worst, who was invited. Specifically, awful family members planned to show up who hadn't spoken a kind word to my mom since she became a "sinful" single mother with no husband.
My mom tried pleading to her mother not to let these horrible people crash her party and was given the title line. The answer was vicious. "You can't tell me who I can't invite to my own house. These are my family members. They are always welcome in my house". So my mom called my dad crying, dreading this party and knowing she's going to be insulted in front of her own son.
My mom kept trying to think of ways to stop these people from showing up but my dad shut that down. His words mirrored his mother-in-law—that's her house and you have to follow her rules. But then my dad followed this with, "Do you want me to fix this?" And my mom agreed. So my dad made a bunch of calls and organized a pizza party in less than 12 hours.
All of his cousins brought their kids, many my brother's age. It was a big, fun thing. My parents never told my grandma about the change of plans. She threw her party her way with her guest list and no birthday boy. My mom and brother came home late in the evening and the decorations were still up. My grandma was so angry and demanded to know where she had been.
My mom said her new boyfriend stressed the importance of respecting her mother's rules so they simply took the party elsewhere. To this day my dad still stresses the importance of respect and rules. He never argues or tells someone they are doing things wrong. But if he sees something he doesn't like he either never shows up, or leaves early and distances himself from the nonsense.
15. Mommie Dearest
I think I am at a breaking point with my mother. 10 weeks ago, my husband and I had a baby. She is the first grandchild on both sides of the family. My in-laws live down the street and are so helpful and wonderful. They see our daughter a lot but also respect boundaries. They are wonderful and I would be lost without them. My mother is single and lives alone in another state three hours away.
She came up when my daughter was born and stayed for a week at our house while the baby was in the NICU. Aside from being unhelpful and leaving our house a mess, during this time she made several comments about my postpartum physical appearance, including that my long hair "made her nauseous". I wanted to scream. I said she had no right to comment on my physical appearance, especially after just delivering a baby, and left the room.
She also was fixated on me sending proper thank you notes for all of the baby gifts we had received and dragged me to a stationary store the day after I came home from the hospital to pick out proper stationery. Mind you, I was still in a lot of pain and it hurt to walk, but...heaven forbid her friends would think I was rude if I didn't send the notes out ASAP.
On her second trip back, our daughter was three weeks old. Again, she made a comment about my hair, stating that it reminded her of the movie Gray Gardens (but they wear kerchiefs? I digress). Again I reminded her that she has no right to comment on my physical appearance. I even reminded her that her mother did this to her when she was growing up, and she hated it, and now she is doing the same to me.
I never quite got an "I'm sorry" from my mother but she acknowledged it hurt me. While she's been home, she repeatedly demands multiple videos and pictures of my daughter, several times a day, so she can send mass texts to our entire family. When I don't send them quickly enough, or when she doesn't like the ones I send (spoiler alert: all the time), she guilt trips me.
She starts saying things like "how dare you do this to your grandmother, the baby is all she is living for!" and "[The in-laws] are so close, and I feel like I'm so far away! I miss her soooo much!" A few weeks ago my mother booked her third trip to visit. A few days ago, I get a text saying, "While I am here, I will be happy to watch the baby while you get your hair/nails done and clean yourself up".
I responded, "I know you mean well and have good intentions, but do you realize this is the third time you've made a comment on my physical appearance?" Reader, she LOST HER MIND. I reminded her of the past two incidents, and she said I'm being "too sensitive" and "that was a long time ago,” and she feels like she's "walking on eggshells around me".
I said that I knew she meant well but it hurt my feelings and to please refrain from commenting on my physical appearance. Her response? OK, I'M NOT COMING. Yesterday she officially canceled her flight. Honestly, mom? GOOD. We don't want you to come. But at the same time, she can't 1) not come to see her granddaughter, and then 2) complain how she's so left out and misses her. YOU CAN'T HAVE IT BOTH WAYS.
Meanwhile, my in-laws are so wonderful and helpful, I am just embarrassed that my husband has to put up with my mom's behavior. I'm dealing with a new baby and I'm exhausted, and on top of this, I have to deal with my mother acting like a child? I just can't. She won't go to therapy and I think I'm just grieving at the fact that this relationship won't get any better, especially as my daughter gets older.
16. A Nice Day For A White Wedding
My fiancée and I decided on a casual wedding, not extremely fancy but also not sweatpants and sweatshirts, you know what I mean? My mother-in-law decided to go dress shopping the other day and she chose a literal bridal dress…which is...not so great. We’d be fine if it was maybe a short dress or a cream or off-white color, but this was a full-on wedding dress, train, and everything.
My fiancée asked her if she could get a dress that wasn’t a bridal gown and just choose one of her own? Or something that doesn’t make it look like she’s getting married? Which is funny considering she just went in what she slept in for her own wedding. She threw a hissy fit, calling my fiancé an entitled witch, saying that she could wear whatever she wanted and that my fiancée shouldn’t stop her.
She said that she’s the adult and my fiancée is the child (you’re both grown women, sit down). My fiancée told her to screw off and that she doesn’t need to worry about the dress because she’s no longer invited! She just responded with another insult and blocked my fiancée before running off to my father-in-law and telling him what happened.
My fiancée asked him if he’d still come to the wedding if his wife wasn’t there and he said “that’s fine, there’ll be less complaining anyways”.
17. It’s Like You Lost A Whole Family
So long story short, after I graduated college I moved back home with my parents and in less than a year I gained like 50+ lbs and spiraled into a terrible depression. I basically lay in bed and ate and slept all day and all night. My parents would make fun of me for "getting fat" and call me lazy and made it nearly impossible for me to muster the motivation to get up and take care of myself.
Luckily, I eventually found a job and started getting out of the house, but I still couldn't lose the weight I gained no matter how hard I tried to diet and exercise because I couldn't stop eating my feelings. Well, I moved out and lost a ton of weight without even trying, my old clothes are starting to fit again and I feel fantastic. I had to stop by my parents’ house to give my little sister something and my mom saw me. I’m still stunned at how she reacted.
She became enraged that I lost weight. She said it wasn't fair (she has been on "diets" for as long as I can remember and never really loses any weight) and that I'm trying to make her look bad because "everyone knows if you lose weight after leaving someone it means they were the problem". I was like yeah, I'm much happier now, go figure.
I'm just frustrated that my own mother can't be happy that I'm happy. Just ugh. I'm mad that I can't see my family without being made to feel guilty. It’s just not fair.
18. Let Go Of My Lego
This happened four years ago, and my blood still boils at the thought of it. My mother-in-law believes I took her little boy away from her. I just can't win with her. Nothing is good enough. I've come to terms with that. Even moving in next door didn't solve the “taking her son” issue, but that's another story. My husband does shift work, 14-hour days.
During our wedding planning, he was doing this seven days in a row, two days off, then another seven days. He asked me to plan everything. We wanted to elope, but family insisted we have a real wedding. So, I planned everything. Literally everything. Because my future husband asked me to. We wanted super non-traditional, and I nailed it.
I did it on budget. On point. It was the best we could do with being forced to have a big wedding. No church. So I found a great local lady to marry us. General ceremony type. We put in as many hidden inside jokes into the ceremony as we could, related to our history and interests. Geeky jokes that would fly just under the radar unless you knew us.
But, the most meaningful part was our sand ceremony. My husband and I still have Lego from our childhood. So we went and dug out pieces and colors to use instead of a sand ceremony. It was my favorite part. Literally mixing the Legos to never be separated. One bucket, one life. This went on without a hitch. I poured. He poured. It was adorable.
I laughed at the pieces he picked. He asked me: Did you put a shark in there too?! Of course I did. We came back from photos a few hours later. That’s when I noticed something that made my blood boil. I noticed kids playing with a pile of Legos at a table. Our Legos. From our sand ceremony. I go looking for the box of ceremony items and it is gone.
Everything is gone. I asked the kids where they got it (They were young) and they said a nice lady was giving away free Lego! My blood was so hot. I asked my Maid of Honor for help and she lost her mind too. We tried to find all the pieces, but you know how kids are. The important, meaningful pieces were gone. The figurines, the shark, the cool special pieces.
When we finally confronted my mother-in-law, she told me how selfish it was to have Lego at the wedding and not let kids play with it. That I'm too old for Lego. That it wasn't a real sand ceremony and I ruined the wedding once again. She was convinced she did nothing wrong. We made an announcement eventually and traded the kids money for any Legos they found.
We got back even more, only missing a few. It was enough to fill back the special boxes I had made for it. Except... no childhood shark (my special piece). No childhood figurine (his special piece). Ever since then, my mother-in-law and I are barely on speaking terms. It took a good year, I think, to use more than a few words with her at any given time.
She did finally realize what she did, however, after a later fight. She had again insisted I had ruined HER son's wedding by getting upset about “silly items with no meaning”. I knew just what to do. I took her wedding album and told her I threw it out. It's just a silly book with pictures, after all. Eventually...and I mean EVENTUALLY...she did apologize for everything she did at our wedding.
This included other things like telling everyone I'm just a good-for-nothing gold digger. I did eventually give back her wedding album. We are still on very thin ice. However, boundaries are much more respected after a few other item-taking situations. You do what you have to do when negotiating with crazy people, I suppose. You DO have to get on their level sometimes.
19. The Black Sheep Of The Family
I'm a 39-year-old woman who is successful and quite well-off. My siblings, sadly, are not. My brother, who is 42, has three children. My sister, who is 35, also has three with another one on the way. My youngest sister, who 28, is married and pregnant, but she had nothing to do with the events of this story. In fact, she's the one member of my family I'm actually close with.
We were all raised to believe that money doesn't matter and that all you need is a happy marriage and lots of kids to live a happy life. Being poor and having lots of kids was somehow glorified. Maybe because that's the way our parents lived and wanted to convince themselves that they didn't mess it up. Fortunately for me, I didn't buy into that nonsense.
I always knew I never wanted children. I focused on my career and on achieving success. Today I have my own house, wonderful pets, and a loving boyfriend. My family, however, seems to think that there's something wrong with my lifestyle. My parents have often commented that my five-bedroom house is empty without any kids running around.
My siblings often tell me I'm selfish for not having kids and actually enjoying my life. However, their disdain for my "selfish" lifestyle doesn't stop them from begging for money. My brother and sister have called me and asked me to help pay their bills. Now, if it's something serious like clothes or school supplies for their kids, I'm willing to pitch in. But they have more ridiculous demands.
They’ve asked me to pay for trips to amusement parks etc. I always refuse. I also pay for my parents to stay in a high-end assisted living facility. They're my parents, I owe them this much. However, I can't help but feel insulted when they sing praises for my siblings for breeding and following in their footsteps and how my parents wish I had done the same.
As if, among all their kids, I'm the biggest disappointment. For this reason, I've distanced myself from them. I only call or visit to check up on them and don't let them be a part of my life. The other day, I got a call from my sister asking if she, her husband, my brother, and his wife could come over. I said OK. I cannot believe this new demand that they made.
They asked me to leave my fortune to their kids, in equal portions. They said if I did, they would stop asking me for financial help. They said this as if they were doing me a favor. "You don't have kids, so who're you gonna leave it to?" asked my brother. I told them I was going to leave my money to charity and that I don't owe them anything at all.
When they went on the "you're selfish" rant, I told them to get lost. The next morning, I got a call from my dad telling me they were disappointed in me. I simply hung up. These people decided to have kids they can't afford and actually have to ask me for handouts every other month. But somehow they think they're so much better than me. The delusion is really something to see.
I should add that my middle sister had her first kid at 22. My brother became a dad at 26. My sister decided not to get her college degree and became a stay-at-home mom. My brother's wife is also a housewife. They are raising soon-to-be four and three kids respectively in single-income households. It's like hitting yourself in the foot and then wondering why there's blood on the floor.
But I'm proud of my youngest sister. She finished her education, married a great guy, has a promising career and she says she'll have another child only if it's feasible. Unsurprisingly, she too has been subjected to snide remarks for "placing money over children".
20. Spoiled Brat Doesn’t Cut It
My 38-year-old sister has just demanded that my parents force me to sell them my house for her to live in without me. I wish I were making this up. My sister has always been extremely selfish and entitled and probably has narcissistic personality disorder, since she appears to legitimately believe no one loves her unless they're doing outrageous things for her.
She did live in my house for about a year before I kicked her out for many reasons. She's literally convinced herself that she will die in any other home. My parents did say no to her demands on my home, thank heavens. I mean, the house is mine. They can't force me to sell it since I'm independent and they have no claim to my home, but I'm glad they're not throwing our relationship under the bus according to her whims, as they've done in the past.
My sister is now furious with all of us and asked us not to contact her until she's "treated like family again". Easy enough. I had zero plans of interacting with her again in any capacity. I can't even with her expectations. It's just too absurd, and I'm slightly terrified my parents will eventually cave and start harassing me to sell them my home for her sake.
I have a really good relationship with them where she's not concerned, but it's a nightmare when she gets involved. Anyway, just venting and getting it off my chest.
21. Survive, Then Thrive, Then Suffer
A bit of background, I am married with two biological daughters and just adopted my son. He is nine months old and has been in my care since he was six months old. His birth mother is my cousin, and we had talked about adopting him when she was pregnant, but she was shamed into keeping him by her mother. There was never a father in the picture.
My cousin also has a daughter (three years old) from another man. The baby is born and it was a hot hot hot mess. My cousin never held him, underfed him, left him in the car seat all the time (which ended up giving him a flat head), and moved in with a horrible man. My cousin's mother didn't do diddly! Which I know it is not her responsibility, but she pressured her daughter into keeping him so badly, but she isn't even going to make sure he is eating right?!
Some serious stuff ended up happening between them. The baby ended up getting passed around, her mother didn't want to take care of him, some other family members didn't want to take care of him, and finally my cousin asked me if I still wanted to adopt him. I did, and I love him very much. This was a closed adoption, as in the birth mother doesn't want pictures, updates or to see him at all.
This is easy to do, as we weren't that close to begin with. I got him caught up on his medical checkups, he has a helmet to reshape his head, he is gaining weight, and emotionally he is doing so very well! He is smiling, laughing, saying mama, and just loves cuddles and kisses—I am sure because he never got them. Until it all came crashing down around me.
See, apparently, APPARENTLY, per the former grandmother and a few other family members, I am depriving him by giving him a stable and loving home instead of letting him float around to awful family members. They also hate that I’m enforcing new family title roles, such as his former grandmother is now aunt, not grandma. Yes, I am the one depriving him....give me a break! He is thriving in my care!
22. A Pregnant Pause
My cousin has always been the spoiled one of the family. She is the kind of person who always gets what she wants no matter who she hurts in the process. We were close growing up, but we drifted apart in the last decade. She met her fiancé about 1.5 years ago, got engaged last May, and set the date for the wedding for this coming August.
Last I heard, back in October, they had already spent $40,000 on it and counting, but alas, there was no way they could invite my partner. Shocker. I moved abroad five years ago and met my partner two years ago. For the last year and a half, we've been trying for a baby. In February the impossible happened. I finally got pregnant!
My little one is due to arrive in October and everyone is over the moon...except for my cousin. She won't understand how there is no way in heaven or heck that I will get on a plane for a two-hour flight and another two-hour train when I'll be seven months pregnant, all without my partner. She threw a fit at me, my aunt, my parents, and anyone willing to listen.
Apparently I am so selfish because of all the time in the world I chose now to get pregnant, probably to take her thunder or something like that. My mostly awful aunt also won't tell her to shut up because her baby can do no wrong in life. Still, at least she doesn't try to convince me and actually admits I'm right when we’re speaking as just the two of us.
23. A Skeleton In The Closet
Long story as short as possible, when my mom and her siblings were between six and 14, their father just up and left one day—on my grandmother’s birthday of all things. No notice. But he revealed to my grandmother he’d been having an affair with a co-worker, and since the house was in his name, he wanted her and the kids to be out within a week.
She never had the resources for a court case and never went after him for child support. So she gathered up the kids and their things and they left. He never gave them a penny and would rarely come pick up one kid at a time for his visitation days, plus he and his new wife were mentally awful when he had them. My poor grandmother worked three jobs just to make ends meet.
Once the kids were old enough to work, they had to help with bills. My mom always used to say if she wanted anything besides basic necessities, they had to work to get it themselves. He married his wife without telling anyone. Well, he just passed last week and my mom and I are the executors of his estate. It’s been a lot of emotions—but one detail is particularly brutal.
We’ve been seeing just how much money they saved over the years. More money than we’ve ever seen, which all has to go to the care of his wife as she’s sole beneficiary and needs to be in a nursing home. But when I was calling the life insurance policy to notify them so she can get her payout, there was a big twist. The woman on the phone said “wait, who is [grandmother’s name]?”
Turns out he had taken out a separate life insurance policy after he abandoned them and made my grandmother the beneficiary. It’s worth five times as much as the one for his wife. Since my grandma passed in 2016 and he kept paying the premiums, it’ll be evenly split between my mom and her siblings. Her siblings, who all went no contact with him as adults, are convinced he must have forgotten about it. I think the truth is much different.
I know him and how careful he was with his money. I remember one day last year when I went to drop off groceries for them and he was in a fuss because he couldn’t account for $1.75 in one of his bank accounts. We can say what we want about him, but he was a highly intelligent person. He knew what he was doing when it came to his finances.
There’s no way he was paying four figures a year on an insurance policy and didn’t know what it was for. I don’t know how I feel about it. Maybe it shows some remorse or humanity, but all the same, I don’t care. They needed money then. An insurance payout after a lifetime of pain doesn’t absolve him of his guilt and selfishness. How he could pass with a fortune and my grandmother passed with just enough to cover her cremation.
I kept him in my life for some reason but dealing with all of his post-passing things is making me hate him.
24. Pulling The Purse Strings
So, I recently got married. When I first got engaged, my parents were super excited and offered to pay for the wedding and reception. We graciously accepted because that would take a lot of financial stress off us and we could focus on buying a house. My parents decided since they offered financial help, they could dictate everything from the guest list to the food to the venue.
They wanted to invite everyone in their neighborhood subdivision, people I have never met. They wanted to serve meat while my husband and I are both vegetarians, and all sorts of things we explicitly were against. After months of fighting, them threatening to take away financial help, and then threatening to not come if we did it on our own, we finally said screw it and we got married in a courthouse.
My mother told me I was the worst daughter in the world and now refuses to talk to me. My father did the same. I’m just exhausted.
25. Fake It Until You Don’t Make It
My parents are super controlling. I confronted them like a week or so ago and told them I was getting married this year, that I am an adult and I get to make adult decisions and I hope they will come to the wedding but if not, that's on them. My dad broke down and said he wanted a better relationship with me and my fiancé. My mom was just mad that I had the "audacity" to speak to my parents that way.
Mind you, I was super calm and diplomatic. My mother then accused me of spreading lies about them and trying to blame all my problems on them. My dad told me he was going to work on her. This past weekend, my dad bought a bunch of pumpkins and invited me and my fiancé to come carve them with my family. We had a great time and even decided to stay for dinner.
At the end of the dinner, my parents told us they wanted to work on our relationship and had scheduled a family counseling meeting after work on Monday. We reluctantly agreed to go because it seemed like they were genuinely trying and it would be nice to have a moderator. I soon found out what a horrific mistake this was.
We went, and it turns out the "counselor" was fake and my parents basically paid this lady to agree with them and gaslight me. They tried to convince me I was "unstable," possibly severely mentally ill, and I needed to call off the wedding and move back in with them immediately. The fake counselor lady just kept saying how perfect and caring my parents are.
She said that they have the financial means to take care of me. I ended up freaking out at them and telling them that they were not perfect parents and they were super dysfunctional and that what they just did was not okay. My fiancé (who was there) started yelling and defending me. When he did so, my parents started insulting him and told him he doesn't know me and he doesn't have the ability to take care of me.
The circus ended when my mom told everyone in the room that I was delusional and said that last year I fantasized that my dad was cheating and told all my siblings. Only, that’s not what happened at all. This was a real event, except it was my mother who thought my dad was cheating and told everyone. When she confronted my dad about it and he got furious, apparently she told him I made it up and convinced her he was cheating.
I ended up pulling up screenshots of messages that she sent that showed she was clearly the one who thought he was cheating and was trying to convince everyone else he was the bad guy. My fiancé was able to back me up and told everyone about the times my mom went off to him about how she thought my dad was getting it on in the back of his office.
My mom ended up admitting that she contributed to the cheating drama but she said she thought I made it worse. In fact, all I did was listen to her nonsense like I have my entire life. We all ended up storming out after that. I'm super devastated right now, I truly thought my parents changed and wanted to fix our relationship and then they did this to me.
I also can't believe my mother tried to use me as a scapegoat when she believed my father was cheating and instead of being honest she threw me straight under the bus. To be fair, I'm not 100% sure the counselor is "fake" but I am 99% sure she isn't licensed or broke all code of ethics because I have seen therapists in the past and this lady was nothing like them.
She didn't ask us our names and there was no paperwork—every therapist and counselor I have ever seen had me sign several pages to tell me my rights and that I consent to treatment as well as disclosing medical history and all that other stuff. She didn't have us take turns talking, she didn't even try to hear my side of things, and she let my parents interrupt me constantly.
26. No Means No
I was never very close to my parents and two brothers. My dad is pretty horrible and clearly preferred his sons over me. He would take them camping, rock climbing, etc. However, I wasn't allowed to do any of that because according to my parents "that's not for girls". My mom often berated me for not being girly enough because I watched action movies, read superhero comics, and wanted a career instead of becoming a stay-at-home mom like her.
She said I disappointed her by not following in her footsteps. To top it off, my older brother could always get away with picking on me because "boys will be boys". He would take away my comics and would be allowed to keep them until I found a safe place to hide them. Growing up, these comic book characters (Batman, Catwoman, and Wonder Woman) were my safe place.
The one relative who I felt understood me and actually gave a darn about me was my mom's cousin, Fred. Fred was also my dad's business partner, and we'd see him quite often. He agreed to take me climbing with his kids, would buy me comic books and didn't ridicule me when I got zits. I'm closer to his kids than I ever was to my brothers.
I was able to move out of my hometown at 27 and haven't gone back since. Nor have I seen or had any kind of contact with my family. I even got Fred and his family to promise not to reveal my whereabouts to my parents. Fast forward to a few weeks ago. Fred has passed due to a massive heart attack. I came to his house to pay my respects and to help out with the funeral.
As expected, I ran into my family. When my mom saw me, she started crying. She tried to hug me but I pushed her away (not hard). My dad demanded to know why I hadn't come home to visit them for all these years. My oldest brother was accompanied by his wife and two kids and the younger one by his fiancé. They tried to introduce me to them.
I just said a polite hello but I honestly felt nothing. I just don't care about them anymore. My mom tried to guilt trip me by crying again, but I told her to show some respect for Fred and to not make a scene. After the funeral, Fred's daughter took me aside and told me that my mom had been pestering her mom to divulge my contact information.
She asked if they could give it to her just to get her (my mom) off their backs. I didn't want this family to be troubled, so I said yes. Sure enough, the next day, my mom called me and again began to berate me for missing my brother's wedding and the births of his kids. I tore her a new one. I told her she had done nothing but make me feel like a subhuman.
I said that they were misogynistic, hypocritical narcissists and had no business raising kids. I reminded her of every humiliation I endured while growing up in her home. I was never treated as a part of her family when I was a child, so why was she bothering now? She kept bawling and telling me I was being cruel to her. Before I hung up, I told her if she ever harassed me again, I would get a restraining order.
27. Let It Go, Let It Go
My sister, Charlotte, passed 14 years ago at the age of 22. It was very sudden, she went in her sleep next to her fiancé, Hassan, while abroad visiting Hassan's family for the first time. It was very horrible for the whole family, not least Hassan who woke to find her and had to travel a long way home alone without his fiancée while completely distraught that he couldn't save her.
We were all absolutely destroyed for years. My mom, somewhat understandably, went completely insane in her grief, and there were many arguments between her and everyone else in the family, including Hassan, about funeral arrangements etc. This is probably quite normal in the circumstances, I only mention it here to illustrate that my mom and Hassan have a somewhat strained relationship as a result of this.
In fact, her relationships with me and my brothers do too for the same reasons. She was very unreasonable at the time, but my brothers, Hassan, and I were always in agreement about the things my mom wanted to fight with us about. Hassan, as Charlotte's fiancé, was considered part of the family, so my mom’s next actions really cut him to the bone.
I found it unsettling that in the early days after her passing mom was saying things like "Hassan may want to go his own way after this, he has no obligation to stay in touch with us if he doesn't want to". It's not really untrue, but it seemed a bit quick to be reacting like that. It took Hassan years to get back on his feet after Charlotte's sudden passing, but he has kept close contact with us.
He also eventually met somebody, Tanya, and they started a relationship. Tanya is a lot like Charlotte, but also very different in a lot of ways, but my family loves her as much as we love Hassan. We have maintained close relationships with both Hassan and Tanya while respecting that both of them, especially Tanya, might find it weird that Charlotte's family is still "hanging around".
We're careful to let them take the lead and not be too imposing, give them space to move on with their lives if they wish to. Everybody had grief counseling in the first few years, except my mom who simply refused. She said there was nothing wrong with how she felt and it was all natural. She wanted to feel her grief, but I think she developed some unhealthy coping mechanisms, and she continues to grieve for Charlotte.
She now finds connections to her in the most random things. Dragonflies have some significance because they're prevalent in a place Charlotte went on holiday this one time, so she wears dragonfly jewelry a lot. When she found a stray dog and failed to locate its owner, she took it as a sign Charlotte wanted her to have this dog and adopted it. But that’s not all.
Every year on the anniversary of Charlotte's passing she goes on holiday to the same place with the dragonflies, like some kind of pilgrimage. Stuff like this. Pretty understandable but probably not the best coping mechanisms. Anyway, five days ago, Tanya and Hassan had a baby, George. My mom text me on the day to let me know, but I didn't get in touch with Hassan or Tanya.
I figured it's their news and they'll tell me when they're ready. I'm super happy for them and can't wait to meet George, but I'm respecting their space. Things are crazy enough when a new baby arrives without your deceased fiancée's family adding to the chaos. Last night my mom texted me again to say Tanya and George were out of the hospital and she was on her way to pay them a visit at home.
I said I hadn't let on that I knew yet, as I was waiting for them to make the first move. Hassan texted me after my mom left, so I "officially" know now and will call later today. But after all this, I was left with a weird feeling that my mom might be getting a bit imposing here. Tanya just got out of the hospital and she has to deal with the awkwardness of introducing her new baby to her partner's past-fiancée's mother.
I mean, technically George doesn't have anything to do with my mom, but she seems to have invited herself around as though she's Grandma #3. This is the same woman who just days after Charlotte passed was prepared to let Hassan cut himself off from us if he wanted, but now he's had a baby she's immediately wanting to be involved in his new family.
Is it just me, or is this all pretty weird? I've yet to speak to Hassan and Tanya, but I suspect they weren't too comfortable with a visit from my mom so soon, and just felt like they couldn't turn her away. I'm worried this might the beginning of a whole new unhealthy behavior for her.
28. Watch Your Back
My mother-in-law is a monster. My husband is currently acting like a jerk, but...we’re dealing. I’ll be darned if I let that woman take anything more from my kids. At the beginning of this year, I was contacted regarding my younger sister’s four-year-old daughter and one-year-old son after she passed. She had issues, and the kids came with their own issues.
My husband and I had four kids of our own. At the time, I was pregnant with our fifth—we had a 10-year-old boy, four-year-old triplet girls, and this new baby boy. It was manageable for us to take them in, so we did. So far, my niece gets along AMAZING with the triplets. My nephew is catching up to where he needs to be, and my niece started school in February with the girls, where she is excelling (ahead of her class in math, and reading).
Niece had also been mistreated at some point when living with her mother. Keeping it vague, she has to travel back to her state to go through medical examinations (made processing evidence easier) and they have since caught the guy, he will be going on trial this year. We still haven’t officially adopted my niece and nephew. We’re currently still only fostering them.
However, we are making progress towards official adoption. Part of this process is making sure there aren’t any other relatives that would be a more suitable fit for them. Their case worker says that we do seem like the absolute best fit for these kids, and not to worry. Before we were contacted regarding them, they contacted my sister’s husband’s family.
No one would take in the kids. My older sister didn’t want to spend the money or time on them, believing they’d grow up to be just like our younger sister, and she said as much to their caseworker. A few weeks ago, that sister contacted me. She was wondering how the kids were doing, if they were adjusting, just generally asking questions about them.
She and I have been no contact for the better part of the last 10 years, as I’ve been with all my family, but I decided for the sake of the kids I’d go from no contact to low contact. It casually comes up that I’m receiving benefits for the kids (a whopping $334 for two kids, a month) which gets split in two and goes into two separate accounts set up for my niece and nephew.
This can be college funds, a down payment on a house, whatever they want to use it on in the future. It’s there for them. My niece is also receiving therapy for free, and my nephew’s physiotherapy is at a discounted rate due to the fact that he’s behind because of neglect. Yesterday, I made a brutal discovery. I find out from the kids’ caseworker that my older sister has petitioned to adopt the kids. She’s claiming that she’s gotten her finances in order to care for them. She’s saying that because I have five of my own kids, and she only has one daughter who’s nearly 16, that it would also be beneficial to me for her to take the kids.
I’m heartbroken, and officially going back to no contact. Now, the adoption won’t be as open and shut as it could have been because we’re going to have to prove that we are a better option for the kids than she is, and that the fact we have five kids isn’t detrimental to them. Thankfully, their caseworker is completely on our side, and agrees that we are the BEST fit for these kids.
She told us that it would be really unlikely for a judge to give my older sister full custody, but did warn that he may award mandatory visitation for a short period of time to see where the kids do best. I know she’d just use them for the money, and not actually care about them, as that’s pretty much what she did with her own daughter for the last 14 years, ever since her ex-husband has had to pay child support.
I’m just so frustrated. And I don’t want to lose these kids. Yes, seven kids under one roof is nerve-wracking on the best days, but when they’re all getting ready for bed, and they’re sleepy and cuddled up against me, listening to me read them a story or watching a movie with them, or just the way their faces light up when my husband or I pick them up from school, or daycare...I wouldn’t trade it for the world.
29. Ticky Tacky Goes To Town
Yesterday was my mom's funeral. She passed a week before her 50th birthday after a very long battle with different illnesses over the last 15 years. It was incredibly hard, especially for me, my little sister, and my grandma (her mom). I come from a very large extended family on both my mom's dad and mom's side. She also had a million and one friends and neighbors.
They all told us they were coming to her funeral, so we expected a large crowd. My grandma has two brothers. One of them I adore (nice uncle, also my mom's godfather), the other can sit on a cactus (smells musty and is generally rude with a witch of a wife). The one I adore stayed with us, the other one stayed in a hotel. The awful one is married to the great aunt, who is the star of this story.
I will refer to her as "Tacky” because after yesterday that’s the impression she left. I dreaded seeing this woman at the funeral, so much so it was taking away from my ability to comfortably visit with everyone else because I was so anxious for her arrival. I have always hated Tacky due to the fact she's always been tacky, in ways that have sometimes made my jaw drop.
She brags about living off the government, has to tell you how much money her jewelry costs (it's Pandora, nothing fancy), asked nice uncle's gay son if he has AIDS and that's why he's thin, put a label on my great-grandma's jewelry so we'll know what she wants to get when my great-grandma passes (she is still alive and well!), tries to hug everything with a pulse, smells like flowery old person, and is generally a huge witch.
My mother also hated this woman so I felt no regrets about being a witch to her right back yesterday.
Yesterday morning, my grandma, nice uncle and his family, another aunt who stayed with my grandma during the last week, my little sister, my boyfriend, and myself all arrive at the church an hour before visitation to finish setting up. We have a huge flood of guests during the hour-long visitation, and thankfully Tacky and crew don't arrive until about 10 minutes before the ceremony starts.
So, Tacky waltzes in. When I look at her, I can’t help but get furious. She’s wearing a purple t-shirt, white cargo shorts, and a sparkly belt. TO A FUNERAL. Strike 1. Then she came over to my sister, my best friend, my boyfriend, and me, and tries to hug me. I say "No thank you, I'm feeling overwhelmed". She tried anyway. I again said, "Why don't you go find my grandma or something?"
And she goes "NO HUNNY GIVE ME A HUG". So I start walking away with my pals, she follows, and eventually we lose her in this massive crowd. Strike 2. THEN we need to go inside the worship center where the ceremony is being held. As per funeral etiquette, the immediate family is to be seated in the front-most row. My grandma reserved the pew for herself, my sister, my boyfriend, and myself.
Tacky comes up and tries sitting down in that row. I said, "Oh no sorry you need to find another pew, this is ours”. Once more, her behavior stunned me. She says, "SHUT UP THIS IS FOR IMMEDIATE FAMILY". Yeah witch, not you! I tell her, "You aren't immediate family, move". After staring at me and realizing I'm not kidding, she sits behind me and tries to play with my hair.
I smacked her hand and said stop touching me and inched to the front of the pew. I didn't even care how rude it may have come off to people who don't know the dynamic. She has always been a Tacky jerk with no social awareness, so she can screw right off with her jerk of a husband. Strike 3. It annoyed us so badly that on the drive to bring my sister back to our dad's house later that day it was all we could talk about.
30. Double Trouble
The story goes like this: I got a message on Facebook from this teenage boy from up in Scotland. Its contents sent a chill right down my spine. It said "Hello, my name is Jordan and I think we may share the same dad. I know this sounds extremely weird and if you don't want to talk I understand but I'd appreciate it if you could". I wasn't sure what to think at first.
I'd have thought my dad would have told us about a baby brother when we were younger or something, after all he and my mom have been separated for the past 20 years since I was three. I messaged back, he said he "thinks" we have the same dad so he could be wrong. I said hello and told him my name and asked him why he thought he was my brother.
He then proceeds to tell me that his whole life he thought his dad's name was “David Smith,” but just found out it was “John Doe”, AKA my dad’s name. He then sent me photos of him as a baby and child…with a man who was in fact my dad. My world at this moment was starting to spiral. Turns out, when my dad was travelling for work he started sleeping with this woman in Scotland.
He had given her a fake name so she couldn't try and find him as he was seeing my now-stepmother for about a couple weeks at a time. After a couple weeks going back and forth from London to Scotland, he had gotten this woman pregnant. And from then on, he took business trips there regularly for a few weeks for the next 15 years until one day he dropped contact with Jordan.
It wasn't until Jordan got his own phone and got my dad's number from his mom that he saw my dad's Facebook profile under "people you may know" once his phone synced his contacts to his apps. He saw our dad with a name he didn't recognize and looked through his profile to see the family he missed out on his whole life. He saw me tagged in a photo with my dad and brothers.
The caption said "me and my boys". He saw me and saw that I was the youngest and figured I'd be easier to talk to. I was dumbfounded, absolutely dumbfounded. He asked if it could be possible to meet and that he would be visiting London within the next few weeks. I said sure and we met up. I got to know him a little and sort some things out.
I saw him in person. I honestly couldn’t believe my eyes. He looked like a mix between my brother, dad, and cousin. He was for sure my brother. We got talking about the family: the one he grew up with, and the one that he missed out on. I felt horrible for him that he missed out on everything from the birthday parties to the nieces and nephews he hasn't met that are a huge part of my life.
He met my partner and they got along very well. We met up several more times that week that he was in London. I showed him pictures of the family and showed him texts from the family group chat. But then came the moment I was dreading. Now was the time to confront our dad. I let my dad know that I was coming to see him. My stepmother was in France at the time with her own daughter.
I knew I wasn't going to upset her by showing up with my secret half-brother. My dad opens the door to see me standing there with Jordan and his face just dropped instantly. I ripped into him about how he could keep Jordan a secret and Jordan tore into him about how he could just grow up not knowing his real name, and that he was excluded from a family he had no idea existed.
This wasn't the first time my dad disappointed me but it was the worst time he had. And for Jordan, he did worse. Jordan is now back in Scotland and I’ve gone to see him a few times. He’s going to come back soon I can reveal everything to the family and have him meet them all in person—all his aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, niece, nephews, and finally my brothers, his brothers.
Sure, I'll warn them first to get over the initial shock of it all and come around, but Jordan deserves to know his family. To know where he comes from. He is the little brother I've always wanted and he said he was so glad to have met me. I’m proud to say I have a little brother who I'm definitely going to make sure is in my life and a part of the family. But there was one more secret that had to come out.
Turns out the reason my dad cut contact with Jordan was that a couple years ago my stepmother got pregnant (nobody in the family knew this). She actually knew of Jordan’s existence and told my dad to abandon him or else he wouldn't see his new baby. So he did just that and stayed with my stepmother. However, she ended up having a stillbirth that to this day nobody in the family knew about.
My dad decided to just not get back in contact with Jordan, as he figured it would be easier financially for him to not look after his son whom no one knew about. Jordan won't forgive him and I don't blame him. When my nan and grandad found out about Jordan’s existence and how he was excluded they were absolutely furious at my dad.
They would have loved and spoiled him growing up like they do with all their grandchildren and now great-grandchildren (my brother’s kids). They want to take him shopping for 17 years’ worth of birthday presents when he begins to visit much more regularly. I myself do want to take him to get things. He’s a comic book nerd like me so I got him a few comics when I last saw him. I'm happy he’s my brother.
31. You’re Not Irreplaceable
My dad cheated on my mom, and they got divorced 11/12 years ago after 21 years of marriage. My mom understandably hated the woman my dad married just five months after their divorce was final (the woman he cheated with). But over the years, my mom has gotten over it, and she tries to be cordial with them. She even gets along with and is fond of my stepsisters.
But my dad just always brushes her off and gives her the cold shoulder every time. If anyone should have this attitude, it should be coming from my mom, but it isn't. Cut to a few weeks ago, I was talking to my dad about what song we should play for our father-daughter dance. He said "Whatever you want, just pick whatever song you like, and that's what we'll dance to. But I do have one request though".
Thinking it was going to be music-related, I was ready to accept his request. But he looks at me and says something that broke my heart. "I don't want to take any pictures with your mother". At the time, my wedding was four weeks away. I was upset, started to cry, and told him that he is my father and she is my mother. I want pictures of me and my parents on my wedding day, even just one.
I said that I would be more than happy to also take pictures with him and my stepmom. He tried to calm me down and said that everything was going to be okay. Today, he texted me and said "call me when you have time to talk, I need to talk to you". So I called him. He apologized for upsetting me a few weeks back, but that he stands firm in his decision to not take any pictures with my mom.
He said that he wanted to tell me ahead of time, so that it won't even be brought up at the wedding. I am so upset and angry that he can't be cordial with my mom for five minutes to take a picture. So I decided to call my brother and I asked him to walk me down the aisle. Because at this point, I'm over my dad and how he's acting about everything.
I feel like he's lost his right to walk me down the aisle.
32. Naughty Little Girl
My husband and I are on vacation with his family. I currently have a broken foot and have had to stay behind during some activities. Today everyone went into town and I stayed back to ice my foot. My 10-year-old niece (my husband's sister's daughter) didn't want to go so she stayed also. Shortly after everyone left, my niece starts messing around with my crutches.
Long story short, she decided to take them and hide them in the other room across the house and refused to give them back. I knew it would be hours before anyone came back, so I got up and hobbled around the house trying to find them. Each step was excruciating. My husband's family comes back and I'm in tears because I'm in a lot of pain.
I tell them what happened and my husband agrees she needs to apologize. She knew better and that was malicious and unacceptable. Then my sister-in-law and brother-in-law defend her, saying she didn't mean any harm. They didn't make her apologize or even talk to her about it. What the heck. My mother-in-law agrees with them that I blew the whole thing out of proportion and I don't have a reason to be upset.
Ummm, for one, my foot is more swollen and painful than it was this morning. I'm so tired of my husband's family and the fact that they defend my sister-in-law’s kids no matter what. My niece 100% knew better and it was a safety hazard, but apparently it doesn't matter and she can't do any wrong. Only three more days of being stuck with them...
33. Crashing The Party
My niece’s birth was a special event, seeing as she was the first grandchild born on both sides of the family. We had a baby shower before she was born, and it was all nice and dandy except for my step-mother-in-law’s various tantrums. Starting off with #1: She got upset that my mother-in-law was there and said that was still trying to take my father-in-law away from her.
Um, she’s been remarried for years now. Plus, it’s...my mother-in-law’s first grandchild??? She’s allowed to be there??? My mother-in-law didn’t even interact with my father-in-law the entire time (she rarely does at all, in fact) so why would she care about getting with him? Oh, but she was just getting started. She then got upset that the baby wouldn’t be named after her.
She oh so wanted the baby to be named after her because “It’s a perfect name! Everyone wants to have it!” Another story for another day, but she’s...oddly obsessed with how “perfect” her name is. So the baby wasn’t named after her, and she got angry and went off on how important she is and how she’s contributed so much to the family.
Talking about how she’s always been a mother to my partner and her siblings (She’s been married to my father-in-law for like three years. When they got together, all of them had already graduated). Then the big whammy. She wouldn’t be called Grandma. She spent almost that entire time asking my sister-in-law for “grandma names”.
My sister-in-law told her that she’d just be called by her name and nothing else because she’s not the “stepmom,” she’s just my father-in-law’ wife and that’s all she’d ever be. She got upset, started throwing stuff around, cursing...and then said something that I feel is truly unforgivable. “I HOPE YOU HAVE A MISCARRIAGE”. I swear to you the minute she said that we all snapped our heads towards her and she just stood there thinking she did no wrong
My sister-in-law kicked her out and we enjoyed the rest of the evening without her. Thankfully, she didn’t have a miscarriage and my niece is happy and healthy. She’s two years old now, and instead of calling this woman grandma like she so politely asked...she runs around calling her “Lady” and it’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever heard.
Her face when she first started calling her Lady was the funniest thing, I swear to God.
34. That’s Just Nutty
My family just cooked everything for Christmas dinner with peanut oil and I'm allergic. I think they're trying to kick me out of the family. I don’t know if they forgot and I'm just overreacting to a mistake, or if this is an overt way of actively trying to kick me out of the family. I'm 24, and this is the first year this has happened. I'm over at my aunt's house right now, as she’s hosting dinner.
She’s my dad’s sister. After thanksgiving, my uncle suggested they fry the turkey this Christmas, and my aunt agreed to try it out. I didn’t think much of it at the time. They're frying the turkey right now, in peanut oil, and nearly every dish has a nut component planned. I've always been allergic to both peanuts and tree nuts, and eating ANY causes me to break out in hives and go into anaphylactic shock.
This is the same person who gave three-year-old me Reese’s Pieces as a snack, and Honey Nut Cheerios for breakfast because they didn’t believe my allergies were that serious, sending me to the hospital both times. Nothing has happened since...so I'm wondering...did they just forget this year? I feel a little disregarded. It's not the first time I've felt this way.
I was left out of my grandmother’s obituary, and haven’t really gotten presents for my birthday or Christmas since I was 11. They judge me for not being like them in a lot of subtle ways. My mother is also allergic, though less severe. She’s been giving me “what the heck” looks all morning. Eventually, my mom and I went to my grandfather's house with other family members from her side.
They weren't doing anything major, but it's a heck of a lot better than being poisoned. I know that a big conversation with my dad has to happen soon, but it's a holiday and I don’t want to start drama today.
35. The Cat’s Out Of The Bag
This happened three years ago, but recent events have brought it back to light. After a year of dating, my sister finally introduced us to her boyfriend. It didn’t take long for me to feel disturbed. Major red flags all through dinner. The dude turns out to be my sister's commanding officer in the National Guard. He keeps talking about his kids, and how my sister hasn’t met them yet.
He also talks about how he lives with his folks about an hour away so he can only see my sister on weekends. Anyway, about a week goes by and things still feel wrong. I decide to google the guy after our mom brings up how she thinks he’s married. Sure as heck. Dude has a wife, three kids under 10, and a picture-perfect Facebook life all the while.
I bring it up to my sister. I was absolutely floored at her reply. She tells me she knows about it, gets all angry for me being in her business, and tells me to drop it after saying they’re really separated but staying married for benefits. Another week goes by and I feel awful. So, I call the wife, as her phone number is listed on Facebook.
We talked for a few minutes and I ask a few questions about her husband. She confirms they’re married, confirms he lives there, and basically she’s a happy housewife whose husband travels for guard work every weekend. I told her I’d met her husband through my sister (no names or identifying information) who introduced him as her boyfriend.
I told her they’d been seeing each other for over a year. I also sent a photo I’d taken during dinner and apologized for being the one to drop that in her lap. I told her as a wife, I really hope someone would do the same for me if the roles were reversed and I truly mean it. She was sobbing, heartbroken and furious. Well, the dude called my sister, super angry that one of her siblings had told.
She immediately sent me a text stating we are no longer family, that I’m an awful person and I ruined both their lives by telling his wife. My mom and other sister joined in on the disowning saying I’m a homewrecker and need to mind my own business, my sister is an adult and able to make her own decisions. No one is willing to listen when I say I didn’t do it to get my sister in “trouble”.
I purposely left her information out of it. I just don’t understand the point of cheating, especially with young kids at home. In all, my whole family stopped talking to me. My mom and sisters were texting my husband about how awful I am, and how he needs to send me to a mental health hospital, but he put a stop to that right away. My friends have been super supportive, but my family blocked me from everything.
My mom won’t even talk to my kids (her only grandkids) because they’re going to be like me.
36. Cash In Hand
I’ve gotten a babysitting job to do on top of school to earn some extra money. School is about to end so I took another babysitting job to put some money away for a car. The day I took my second job, my mom told me I really should split my check evenly between me, my sisters, and my cousin who’s visiting from Chicago. I said heck no and my mom hasn’t spoken to me since.
37. Child’s Play
A few weeks ago, my brother wrote in the family group chat that he and his wife decided that there would be no exchanging of gifts between the adults this year for Christmas, just for the kids. But here’s why this drove me nuts. Since they’re the only ones with kids participating in this family holiday season, essentially they were telling us that they weren’t getting us gifts.
Instead, they only wanted us to give gifts to their kids and not them. That’s fine. Whatever. Well, yesterday I was casually talking to my sister-in-law and mentioned the gift I got for my partner. She got quiet and hurried off the phone. Later my brother texted me that he was very upset that I would disrespect them and their request since they’d decided it would be an “only kids” Christmas.
I clarified that I wouldn’t even be exchanging the gift in front of the kids and that I’d only got something for my partner and for my nephews, literally no one else. My brother still insisted I was being disrespectful and could have spent the “extra” money on his kids. Literally what the heck?
38. Hello Goodbye
I got a call from my dad’s work phone today. Only, it wasn't my dad. My horrible mother took his phone and called me since I'd blocked her regular number. I was stunned but spoke to her like nothing had happened. Like she hadn't told me how I was an awful person and married a dimwit less than a week ago. Like she hadn't told me I was a bad mother with a dirty baby.
I asked how my dad was and told her I was starting school. Then she asked when she could see my son. I told her flat out "I don't feel comfortable having you around my family at this time. You're too unstable and I can't have you coming around". I didn't listen to her crocodile tears, or her whining or threats. I said "My husband is home and I have to make dinner. Have a good night".
I blocked my dad's work number for 48 hours so I don't have to even get any texts from her. I'm shaking with joy at my progress.
39. A Bad Kind Of Surprise
My daughter had her first birthday party on Sunday, and I spent hours decorating. When I was away briefly and talking to the grandparents, my sister took my daughter and showed her everything. It was supposed to be a surprise, and I wanted to see her reaction. Now I just have tons of pictures from my sister with my daughter all smiling and I want to cry.
When I told her about her mistake and my feelings, she got angry and downplayed it. Even my mother told her that she messed up and she then accused my mother of favoritism. I don’t even want her in my life anymore. It wasn’t the first time she ruined something for me.
40. That’s Just The Way The Cookie Crumbles
I’m visiting home for Christmas. It’s my first Christmas home since moving away three years ago, and I usually get to visit once a year for 5-7 days. It’s not a lot but I try to make the most of it. As soon as my plane landed last week I was conscripted into the cookie baking army. You see, my mom needed to give 10 gifts away and I wanted to do Christmas cookie platters (of about 25 cookies each).
She doesn’t have the skill to do it so she delegated to my sister and I because we clearly have no plans. Besides, we have so much experience from the years of youth group cookie bakes she signed us up to “volunteer” for. Please do note all the sarcasm here. So my sister and I spent an entire day (9 am-midnight) making 250 cookies from scratch, only for my mom to give them away to her friends and coworkers (not even family members).
While we’re baking my lazy brother grabs some cookies off the cooling tray and eats them. I say “please stop eating those. They’re Christmas gifts”. He agrees and I drop it. But then a few hours later he’s leaving for work and grabs another handful. I remind him that they’re Christmas gifts and every time he eats some I have to make more. He again says those are the last ones. But you know how this goes.
It wasn’t. He had more after work and some for breakfast this morning. He was alone in the house all day so chances are he ate more. In the middle of dinner today (which he decided not to eat because he doesn’t like stew) he comes in and takes more cookies. I inevitably lost my mind. I never insulted him, but I gave him a piece of my mind for eating all the cookies before we could plate them.
Suddenly he’s storming out and I’m the bad guy. My parents say I shouldn’t have jumped down his throat because “it’s Christmas” and “he’s sensitive”. He’s locked himself in his room now and it’s all my fault because “if you asked him nicely he would have stopped”. The best part? When I argued back “Well now we don’t have enough cookies!” my parents said “Well we have plenty of stuff. You can make more”.
Emphasis on “you”. I’d be making more at midnight on Christmas morning. Screw me, right? I do all this work that I didn’t even want to do with no thanks or appreciation while on vacation when I want to be visiting my friends and spending time with my sister. Then my brother gets to eat all the cookies I made and I get written off as the “jerk that ruined Christmas”.
41. No Fake Family
Today my future husband got a call from his grandma and she said to him, “When I went to breakfast with your aunt and uncle they wondered when their save the date was coming?” My fiancé, who has come so far in the last three years, dropped a truth on them that showed just how much progress he has made: “They’re not getting one because they’re not invited”.
“Why not?” She asked. “Because when I faced the biggest challenge of my life [his battle with his mother] they were some of the ones who said ‘that’s just how she is’ and some of the ones who left me to fend for myself”. “Oh, well I just don’t want you to not have anyone on your side,” she said. But he had the best response to this attack, too.
“I will have plenty of people on my side and they have earned their place in my life. Those whom I’ve chosen to be a part of my family are going to stand beside me, you’re going to walk me down the aisle, and those who haven’t abandoned me and those who’ve apologized for their behavior will be there. Besides, if aunt and uncle were that worried about getting an invite they could have easily asked me that question themselves, they have my phone number”.
Ya’ll, I was so gosh darn proud of him that I beamed as he told me this story. Then I made sure to tell him just how proud I was.
42. Checking Out
So, despite going no contact with my mom over mistreating my oldest daughter when she was a year old, my mother had somehow gotten hold of her social security number. She then filed her taxes with my daughter (who 18 and in college) and myself on her taxes this year, stealing both of our $1,200 stimulus checks on April 1st, despite the fact that my daughter and I had both already filed our own taxes this year.
This has not only gotten our stimulus checks taken, but also got us both under investigation with the IRS. Since we are both in college—my daughter is going to college to become a nurse, and I am going back to learn to learn how to be a computer programmer—we were counting on that money to help with our student loans. Additionally, the IRS is trying to refuse our refunds.
I've had to deal with the IRS several times due to issues with filing in the past, enough that I have a case worker with them. This is thanks to a few relatives using my identity to dodge Child Support in the past. Yes, they are rotting behind bars over it. This case worker was the one who emailed me about the issue. On Monday, I will be making contact with the case worker to get audits started on myself and my daughter.
43. People In Glass Houses…
My stepbrother, who is about to have a second child, felt he had the right to comment on how "wasteful" it is for me to have pets. I did not want to run into him. I had managed to avoid my stepbrother and his wife for about a year, but I did yesterday afternoon. I was at my dad's place to drop off a few things he had needed. That's when my stepbrother and his wife walked in.
They had recently announced that they're having another baby. I had sent them a text congratulating them. But apparently, that wasn't enough and they had whined to my dad about how I wasn't enthusiastic enough. When I saw them yesterday, our interaction began cordially enough. I asked how my sister-in-law was doing, etc.
Then my dad asked me to stay for dinner. I declined as I had to take my dog to the vet. He has a temperature. I mentioned that I had taken the day off from work to deliver my dad's things and to take care of my dog. My stepbrother scoffed at this and commented that it's dumb to spend money on an animal, that they can "self-heal" and in this day and age it's just wasteful to keep pets because "there's such scarcity in this world".
Now, I know that he and my sister-in-law are planning to have four kids, because they've mentioned it many times, but I've never commented on it. So I fail to understand why he had the right to comment negatively on me having and caring for pets, something that doesn't have nearly as much environmental impact as having multiple biological children.
So I snapped back: "Well, if you're so worried about scarcity of resources, why the heck are you creating another human being? Why would you add to the world's overpopulation? Take a long hard look at your own actions before commenting on what I'm doing with my life". Then I stormed out. Apparently, I'm the villain of this story because my sister-in-law "cried her eyes out" after I left.
My phone has been bombarded with messages from my dad, my stepbrother and even my sister-in-law’s sister, whom I simply told to go screw herself, in so many words. I’ve decided to ignore the messages from my dad and stepbrother. I don't think I'll be speaking to my stepbrother and his wife for a very long time. Possibly for years. I'll stay in touch with my dad, but only to make sure he's ok.
44. A Rollercoaster Of Emotions
So I and my brother have always known since we were kids that I was going to carry his children when it came time. It started as joke when we were teens when our friends talked about kids and what we were going to be when we grew up. My brother always said that he wanted to have a lot of kids and since he is gay, it was known to us that it wouldn't be through traditional methods.
So when we talked about it, even if it wasn't serious, he would always say I would bear his bio kids for him and I would always answer that I would without a doubt. Now let me clarify that our bond is extremely strong, and we are each other's safe place. Our father passed when we were five and six, and we were left poor to the point of not knowing when we were going to have our next meal.
Our mother went into year-long phases of depression and got sick, so we only had each other to lean on. His coming out to her was a total disaster that fortunately the three of us managed to recover from, with me picking up the pieces of what was left to patch up and glue back together, along with other family issues, but we survived and we are stronger.
Time passed, he and I fought and studied hard to get good college scholarships, work and get through university, and that was what separated us physically. We went to study in different states across the country but that never really made us grow apart. We've talked literally every day and still do to this day. Through all of that, we started building his kid plan.
He intended to adopt a couple of kids and have two of his own. Together we decided both our timing to do it, financial matters, medical matters, everything. I was a fence sitter about children of my own until I traveled to do business for the company I worked at in my first job. I was only an assistant then but I decided then and there that children were not for me.
I wanted to focus on my career and build a life for myself childfree. In college I met my ex, when I was still a fence sitter. My ex knew about my thoughts on my career and he truly seemed to admire it given my background. He and his family were well off, not crazy rich, upper-middle class I'd say. His family had problems with his younger brother, a teen at the time.
His grades were very low, and his parents even paid some teachers to pass him. My ex would get calls at random hours to pick him up at various places, bars, clubs, even in different states. My ex would always go and I totally backed him up because I would do the same for my family. When I realized we were for real, about one year into the relationship, I told my ex about the fact that I was going to be a surrogate for my brother in 10 years or so.
He seemed fine and told me it was fine, he had met my brother by then, and by the time I decided to be childfree I also told him and he agreed and even said he was proud of me and my dedication to my career. Five years went on, we grew strong. He moved into my rented apartment after I graduated, got a better job in another company, got a masters, then got a doctorate.
He worked on his career as well, got his own degrees, we both traveled, for fun and for business. It was a dream, and he was a dream. His brother, however, became an entitled person. He was always pulling his strings to make everyone do as he wished. They had several family trips in which the whole trip plan had to be changed to accommodate his requests.
I was even cut out of some of these trips so this or that friend of his could go instead. I kept my thoughts to myself, I wasn't offended or anything. It didn't really matter; we could travel together later. In the meantime, my brother became a lawyer, got a serious boyfriend who's also a lawyer, and later on they got engaged. I was 27 when it all started to fall apart.
My ex invited me to dinner with his parents and his brother, and that night he proposed. I was wonderstruck and said yes. My ex-in-laws were happy as well but at some point into the dinner they started on about grandchildren. They knew about my choice and I reinforced that. They, even my ex, brushed it off lightly, saying I'd change my mind and I'd have to settle down in life and eventually switch the suit for a dress.
I was offended but way too happy with the engagement to be firm enough. This led to fights, this led to me getting baby clothes as gifts from the in-laws, etc. I stood up for myself every time, which made his family call me names, stopped us from setting a date for the wedding, and inspired his mother to embarrass me at family events. Then my ex finally dropped the card I was dreading.
He said I would carry a child for my brother but not for him. I told him many times about how the process would go and that once the child was out in the world, he wouldn't have contact with us in that way. I was going be an aunt, not a mother and that was that. He said he wouldn't be taking care of a pregnant woman that wasn't pregnant with his child.
I said I understood and didn't expect him to. I said he wouldn't have to stay with me or pay for anything during the pregnancy, that was all taken care of and he was aware. He dropped the subject. Months later, the company he worked for offered him an 18-month job in another state. I had been confiding all this to my brother, so once we got the news about my ex’s job we hurried to see if I could go through the pregnancy during this time.
My brother and his husband had three adopted kids already at that point and were eager to complete the family. It was almost close to the time we had previously settled on anyways, if a little too early but we could work it out. I told my ex, and he got mad at me. In fact, he threw me out, saying I had betrayed him. He went away a week later, never once contacting me.
I was in a really bad place at that point. I blacked out of social media and cut contact with his family, but everything for the medical procedure was ready by then. My brother said it was okay if I didn't want to do it, but I did and I got pregnant really fast. My mom came to live with me and help. She was overjoyed—I had never seen her so happy. And then the next tragedy hit.
She had been very sick and passed when I was 28 weeks along. That hit me like a sledgehammer. The rest of the pregnancy was hard and I delivered my niece a month later. Although she had to be in NICU for a while, she was very healthy. My brother and his husband were with me the entire delivery. They were the first people to spend time with her and feed her.
As per the plan, I didn’t have a lot of contact with her or breastfeed, but we three agreed she would be named after my mom which was just so important to me. For the first year, we agreed I wouldn't see my niece often to let her bond with her dads and I decided to donate my breastmilk. I focused on my job, body, and mind for that time.
Three months later I was in better shape than I had ever been in life and I was feeling myself all over again. So I got back to social media. My ex had got back and contacted me, saying he wanted to talk and apologize. I agreed, I still loved him and he was so sweet to me and we ended up in my apartment. That’s when he saw the bottles of labeled breastmilk. The bottom then dropped out.
He thought it was impossible for me to have been pregnant with the body I was showing in that short period of time. He thought I hadn't gone through with it. Now he called me every name under the sun again and for the second time he left. I was angry, I had had enough. I applied for a lesser position in my job just so I could get away, because I knew I was weak for that man and I needed to get out.
So I traveled the world working for the company and was climbing up positions again. By the end of last year, the company offered me an executive director's position for an entire division in my home country, in the state I lived for so long and so I knew a bunch of people. I took it and in February I got a call. It was that call, from that man, so many years later.
I, like the most stupid person I know, answered the call and agreed to meet him. We met and he was different, sad. He told me how he got married but never forgot me and how his ex-wife got pregnant with a child that wasn't his and how he'd been divorced for two years and never dated anyone. He kept thinking of me and loved me even when I was away.
He said how he wanted to be with me, no conditions, no kids, on the terms we had always agreed on before. I said I needed to think about and he said he would respect my space and my time and I appreciated it. A week later I was like screw it, he is the love of my life and I will be with him. I was at work and waited until lunch break to text him to meet me that night.
When I was taking my cellphone out to text him, I saw another text. I recognized his brother's name. This was the beginning of my nightmare. The text went like this. “Hey, how are you doing? We heard that you guys are back together and the family is so happy. Me and my wife are so very happy for you guys too. We have been trying to have a child for over a year and just discovered that neither of us can have children so when we heard you guys were back together we thought you both could be our surrogates, together.
Isn't that awesome? We have already discussed everything with him and he agreed”. My entire world shattered. I didn't answer, I blocked him, my ex, and every possible member of their family that could still reach me. I didn't know what to think. I wanted to cry so badly but couldn't in the office, so I went on with my day and cried myself to sleep like a weak idiot.
I didn't tell my brother, he and his husband don't deserve this, they don't need to feel guilty about something they're not, but I just don't have anyone else. I've been stuck in my new apartment, and I've been getting message requests from accounts I don't know about the matter. I know it's them. They've switched from anger, to begging, to guilt-tripping so many times by now that I'm not sure what to do.
I don't think my ex is a part of these messages but I didn't know what to do anymore, and the messages stopped a couple days ago strangely. That brings us to today. My apartment bell rang but I wasn't expecting anyone, and the building doesn't have a doorman because it's all digitally secured. The elevator also only opens into the apartments (there's only one per floor) with authorization.
You have to have fingerprint recognition to enter or to authorize anyone in. I looked through my windows and sure enough there are the five of them down on the street by the building gate. It's been hours and they keep buzzing me as I write this. How did they know my address? I don't know. How did they get here? I don't know. I don't care, they are not getting in.
I'm crying but they won't get to see it, at some point they will give up. I just wished for a second that I could have had that love, you know?
45. Keeping It In The Family
My dad has six other siblings, and he is the third oldest. My aunt is one year younger than him. For years, my dad took care of his family because my grandfather passed when he was 12. They still see my dad as the father figure even though (except my aunt) they all have jobs. My younger aunt is the only one who helps my dad. Last week, my dad and mom were talking about something.
I didn't know what it was about but both of them looked really angry. When I asked what was happening, they said it’s not important, don't worry about it. But when I insisted because my mom looked like she was about to cry, they told me that last year my aunt and my grandmother called my dad and wanted to meet because there was “something very important”.
When he went to my aunt's house, my grandmother said that she thought about it for a long time and decided that me and my aunt's son should marry. But it was just that. Her reason was outrageous. It was so the money my dad earned wouldn't go to a stranger.
They also said my brother and my younger aunt's daughter should marry when they get older. When he got shocked and said this is ridiculous they got mad and started saying bad things about me. Like nobody would want to marry me, if someone ever wants to marry me it would be because my dad is rich and they are after his money.
My dad told them to never open this conversation again and forget about it. Apparently last week my aunt called my dad and told him that since this is my last year at college, he should reconsider what they told him because it’s the best thing to do for me. My dad got angry and yelled at her and ended the call before she could say anything else.
I really don't know how to react and what to do. We are very close as a family, and we see each other like every week. Thinking about how I talked to them without knowing all these things they thought about me makes me feel sick. I don't know what to do when I see them again. Part of me wants to confront them and never see them again. I also want to act like nothing happened but I'm not sure if I can be like I used to before.
46. Wash Out Your Mouth
I recently got engaged and took some time off to visit our parents and start planning. First stop was mine and then his. I suffer from chronic pain and take a variety of medications, which cause a decrease in appetite and nausea. I haven’t disclosed my illness to my in-laws, but a few nights ago I could hear her complaining about how apparently I’m too good to eat what they cook.
I let it go. Yesterday, my fiancé took me around his hometown. On the way back, he remembered to get drinks, but we were already pulling into the driveway at the time. I was tired, so he dropped me off. His parents were waiting for me in the living room, angry. Mother-in-law: You really think you can pull the wool over our eyes, don’t you? You think you can bring substances into our house?
Me: motioning to a seat because my legs hurt Her: No no! You stand! How dare you bring this disgusting stuff into our house! I reach for my cellphone and she yells at me to keep my hands at my side. Her: I don’t care how legal this stuff is. We don’t allow this garbage in our house! She pulls out a plastic-wrapped package and I immediately know what it is. My husband took a bite out of it and got sick!
I’m so angry right now because this was at the bottom of my luggage! And then she starts going off about how many pills I take (again, you wouldn’t know if you hadn’t gone through my stuff) and how her son doesn’t deserve a druggie. She takes my package and shows me where my father-in-law took a few bites and threw up soon after.
It’s been 10 minutes and my fiancé is back. His mom asks him if he knows all the medication I’m on and what I brought into their house. He can’t get a straight answer about how they know about my medicine, but then he glances at the package and just sighs. This is when it got downright hilarious. Fiancé: Mom, it’s soap. It even says African Black Soap.
He broke off a piece, headed to the kitchen, and washed his hands with it, showing them the lather. My mother-in-law fired back, saying that she’s never seen soap like that and that this doesn’t explain the amount of medications I take. They say they’re justified in what they did.
It’s all because they want the best for their son and since it’s their house they can go through personal belongings at will. I start screaming because I’m exhausted. I can’t remember everything I said, but my throat has been a mess from all of the screaming. My father-in-law tried to give me back the soap, but I kind of threw it at him saying I didn’t want his gum disease.
Terrible, I know. We’re staying at a hotel and not talking to his parents. I feel I could have gone about it better. I wanted a good relationship with my in-laws and we’ve always kind of gotten along...now I feel like I messed up badly. But then again, I think THEY messed up badly too.
47. Nothing Like The Real Thing
My mother-in-law is someone I love like my own mom. My ACTUAL mother is a narcissistic nightmare. I have been with my husband for almost 15 years, and during that time my mother and mother-in-law have butted heads many times, usually over how my mother treats me. But ever since I’ve had children, the tension has been dialed up to 11.
My mother is a jealous woman, and that’s putting it lightly. If my children show any affection towards anyone but her, she flips. My entire life, she has had to be the focus of any interaction or occasion. She’s also quite spiteful (which I’m sure you had already surmised) and she has, on more than one occasion, been nasty towards my girls.
They are three years old. Now, I left my mother-in-law and mom in charge of watching the girls while I went to the dentist one day. I came home two hours later to find my mother and all of her belongings on our front steps. My face is half numb, I’m exhausted, and it’s just her screaming and crying “YOUR HORRIBLE MOTHER-IN-LAW THREW ME OUT. I WOULD NEVER TREAT FAAAAAAMILY LIKE THIS. YOU LOVE HER SO MUCH AND SHE THREW ME OUT IN THE STREET”.
She immediately gets in her car and zooms off. I walk in the house, and my mother-in-law apologizes for stooping to her level. She explained everything and I almost lost it. Apparently, my mother didn’t lock the door, so one of my three-year-old old twins got OUT. My mother-in-law then caught my mom screaming at my child on the steps like it was HER fault.
She also tells me that she caught my mother being nasty to my other daughter. She said, “I saw this, and just snapped. Be mean to me, but how dare you act like that to my grandbabies”. All I could do was well up with tears and hug her. Even though the woman who birthed me will always be a narcissist, I have a real mother in my mother-in-law. Man, it feels good to be part of a real family.
48. Stealing Her Thunder
I recently found out that I am pregnant. I am overjoyed as I have always wanted a child of my own. I focused on my career in my life and since I am single, I wasn’t sure if having a baby would ever happen. I was excited to tell my family the big news. My older sister has one child, my nephew who is seven. My brother is married but he and his wife have made it very clear they will always be child-free.
Last night we had a family dinner and I thought this would be the perfect opportunity to share the news. Since this will be my only child I wanted to make it special and I also wanted to involve my nephew. I got a shirt that read “this is what an awesome big cousin looks like”. I slipped away with my nephew before dinner and had a special moment with him while I told him he was going to have a cousin.
My nephew was very excited and put on the shirt. He put his sweater on over it and I told him he could take the sweater off whenever he wanted at dinner. In the middle of dinner, he took off the sweater and waited for someone to notice. Soon my sister jumped up and excitedly screamed when she saw the shirt. But here’s where it all started to go wrong.
They all then immediately assumed it was my sister-in-law. I wasn’t hurt by them assuming this and I kind of expected it because she is married. I was hurt because my sister-in-law didn’t try to correct them. She just went along with it and began to rub her flat belly while laughing. I must have looked completely hurt because my mother yelled at me to stop being rude and to congratulate them.
I tried to explain that I was the one who gave my nephew the shirt. They all didn’t even hear me and just continued to fawn over my sister-in-law. My brother stood frozen in shock just asking his wife if she was serious. I got up and went home. I received multiple texts at this point from them telling me what a jerk I am for making this all about me.
They said things like it wasn’t my sister-in-law’s fault that I was jealous. I didn’t reply to anything and just cried myself to sleep. This morning my sister-in-law must have finally let it slip that she is not pregnant. They have now all called me to apologize saying that they just got caught up in the moment. But they had to add in a cruel little twist.
They said I shouldn’t have left the dinner and that it’s my fault I wasn’t clear enough that I was the one who is pregnant. My mom said I could have a redo dinner so I can get it right and they will all act surprised. My sister-in-law sent me a message that said that the way I chose to announce was how she wanted to do it if she ever got pregnant.
She said that since she is not ever having a child, she just wanted to experience what the moment would be like. She also said I can have my chance at the redo dinner. I told them no and that I will not be doing a redo. Every single person has now told me I am being selfish and a jerk because I won’t let them make it right. To me, there’s no fixing this.
I will eventually forgive them but I don’t want to do a second announcement so they feel better.
49. Sometimes You CAN Choose Your Family
I'm 26 now, and have known I was adopted since I was three years old. I don't know what kind of adoption I was (open or closed) but I know that my biological parents signed their rights for me away shortly after my birth. I was in the foster system from five days old until three. This is because I was hard to place, as I was born with an atrial septal defect (ASD).
I developed complications due to the condition, which needed surgical intervention. I eventually was adopted by a NICU/pediatric nurse, my mom, and was raised in a loving and caring home. When I was 18, I was contacted via letter by some woman named "Claire" saying that she wished to speak to me. I didn’t respond, because I didn't want to, and because I was having another heart surgery at the time. I had loving grandparents, who were older and passed when I was 20 years old, but then suddenly life threw me another tragedy.
My mom passed when I was 22 after an intense fight with cancer (she had been in remission). I was heartbroken, but I went to therapy from 22 until now to handle my grief. I didn't even think of "Claire" again until I received another letter. The letter basically detailed that "Claire" was my older sister via my biological father and she had spent some decent money to track me down.
The letter detailed that she had done some serious work to discover what happened to me. The story chilled me to the bone. Basically, my biological father and biological mother were both married and had an affair together. I was the by-product of it and when the other spouses found out, there was a serious conflict. My biological parents signed away their rights after I was born to save their marriages
I was my biological mother's first child and my biological father's fourth. Basically, Claire discovered this secret when she went through her father's records and found a single photo of me plus my birth certificate. He denied my existence and Claire spent a good chunk of a few years looking into it. My biological mother's family was surprised at finding out I existed. They shamed their mother, who gave up my information almost immediately.
So basically I had seven siblings reaching out to find out more about me. I didn't really respond to her letter and instead talked to my aunt, my adoptive mom's sister, who told me that I should proceed with caution. She works in social services, so I valued her opinion. I opted to tell Claire I had no reason to want to speak to her or the other siblings, but would appreciate a medical history.
She's since reached out on Facebook and has tried friending me. She's sent me messages and letters including family photos unsolicited to my house. I finally had enough and reached out six months ago to tell her I had no interest. And I really don't. I feel kind of grossed out. I was placed for adoption simply for my existence and don't feel good communicating with her. Her reply infuriated me.
Claire blew up and is sending me messages saying that the family wants to know about me. They've moved on from the infidelity and the affair. She said "the entire family wants to embrace you—your mother is ill and wants to make up for lost time". I told her I didn't want any communication, especially since she called her "your mother" when I very plainly explained I already had a family, and I don't feel like I should be anyone's source of closure.
I don't know how to navigate this, but I know after thinking about it that I don't want any communication or to meet these people. For what it’s worth, Claire is the only one mentioning that my biological mother is sick. Everyone else is sending me messages berating me for not responding to Claire and telling me that they want me to talk to them.
Some are also admonishing me for being rude to Claire. There's no sign of my bio mom being ill on any social media and my request for more information on her illness, which I sent a week ago, hasn't been answered. My aunt has also put me into contact with a lawyer that she knows through the system.
He's begun looking into my adoption—which was closed according to my father—and to see about creating a paper trail for harassment. The messages keep coming and I even opened my PO box today to discover a package plus a few letters, all from Claire. I promptly wrote return to sender on everything and dropped it off at the post office.
Luckily I'm in a different country and the only mailing address they have is my post office box. Hopefully it comes back that my adoption was closed and I can send them some form of cease and desist through the adoption agency.
50. Not The Daddy
Let me preface this by saying that my relationship with my parents is terrible. However, due to....current global events...I have been forced to return to my parents’ house. I thought I had finally gotten free, and was prepping myself to finally cut them off for good...but no. In one phone call, they informed me that if I went anywhere else but their house, I would be cut off for good.
There were threats of pulling me off of their insurance, and as I have to take daily prescribed medication covered by that insurance, I cannot afford to be off of it until I have a job that also offers insurance. My father has always had severe anger issues, but being trapped in the house with him has been a true nightmare. He will not leave me alone. He is constantly insulting me and staring at me.
All the time. Today, things hit a new low. He was stressed about work and started yelling my name (loudly) while I tried to read a book. He then came and found me and was standing in the doorway. Finally, I put my book down and asked him what he wanted. He flew into a rage and started repeating that he was my "daddy" and needed to be called such.
Yelling in my face that he was my "daddy" and that I, a 22-year-old woman who NEVER called him daddy, even as a child, had to call him that from now on. He wouldn't leave, not when I asked him why he was doing this, or what he wanted. He just kept yelling, "CALL ME DADDY!" and to my everlasting shame I did. I called him daddy, and he left me alone.