At its best, a wedding is a beautiful celebration of love full of touching moments and fun. At its worst, a wedding is more torturous than simultaneously getting a root canal, paying parking tickets, and running into your nastiest ex. These horrible nuptials belong squarely in the second category.
1. The Symbolism Wasn’t Lost On Me
It was in a courthouse, in a small town, between a young couple, with the girl pregnant. The groom shows up late, half in the bag. He is barely able to get through the vows. He left his dog in the truck, and the dog howled through the whole ceremony.
The groom leaves with his buddies to go out drinking. Without the wife. Then, while driving out to go home, we see the marriage certificate fly out the window. He did stop to pick it up…but not before someone ran it over. Tire track and all.
2. Tying The Not
I was invited to the wedding of a former co-worker.
The invitation said “casual BBQ in our back yard” so I wore jeans, boots, and a black blazer over a tank top and I was very conspicuously overdressed, what with having worn shoes and a shirt and all. There was no pool, just way too many guys in cutoff jeans, flip-flops, and trucker hats.
The person performing the ceremony was introduced to me about 15 minutes before it started and he stumbled over his words as he helpfully offered to impregnate me if I ever needed it. When the ceremony started someone tried to hand him a microphone so after a very difficult mental wrestling match with himself, he put down the bible and notes and kept the drink in his other hand.
The best man was a fat old bulldog that smelled like he was rotting from the inside and growled at everyone. Sadly, he ended up having to be put down about a week later.
I was served extremely undercooked chicken wings.
There was a porta-potty provided for everyone's (100+ people) convenience and comfort. And that’s just the stuff that I witnessed.
I left as soon as I could without being rude so I missed the fistfights that broke out later in the evening, but local law enforcement didn't. One person was thrown behind bars and the new couple was issued breach of sound ordinance ticket. One of the fights was over a difference of opinion regarding cornhole scores.
3. Two Houses, Alike In Indignity
My step-aunt's wedding was a serious disaster. I was 19 at the time.
The bride's family hated the groom and the groom's family hated the bride. The bride was only getting married because her younger sister recently got engaged after already being married once with two kids. The bride was really in a rush to the altar situation.
The groom's best man pulled out 2 days before the wedding because he "didn't know, man". The groom, therefore, had no one on his side, so the bride's bridesmaid stood on his side to even out the ceremony for the photos.
While we were waiting for the bride to show up for the ceremony, one of the groom's sisters, who had shown up in this hideous peacock tutu dress thing that put Bjork's swan dress to shame, alternated between wailing at her brother not to go ahead, to throwing herself over him and wishing him all the happiness she never got. It turns out the groom's sis only finalized her divorce 2 weeks prior after a whooping 1.5 years of marriage.
When the bride does show up, the guests stand up as is customary. All except the groom's mother and two sisters, who remained firmly sitting down with grouchy looks on their faces (add in the sister’s constant bawling). And no, none of them had any disabilities which required them to remain seated.
When we get the reception, the groom's other sister, who had shown up in a pair of basic brown pants and a knitted jumper, was the MC. As we were waiting for the couple to arrive, she "lovingly" refers to the couple as Shrek and the Narwhal, and then pulls out a full-on craps-style betting mat and begins "jokingly" going around to all the tables taking bets from all the guests on how long it would take the couple to be divorced. Did I mention how much the groom's family hated the bride? So much so that most of them weren't there, so the groom's sister angered a room filled with 90% bride's family and friends.
The reception was held in a function room upstairs of a nice restaurant. But because the couple had cheaped out on the food, we had to go downstairs to the main dining area's buffet to get our dinner. Standing in line wearing fancy clothes with regular diners waiting for our dinner, navigating it back upstairs in high heels, and then eating cold chicken was not a pleasant experience.
The bride's father was a grumpy old git who refused to dance, so the poor bride missed her father-daughter dance while the groom got his mother-son dance.
The DJ was a cheapie hire the bride found online. He was a very early 20s guy who specialized mainly in nightclub DJing and had just started advertising himself for weddings as a cash side gig. The dude was clearly out of his depth and kept alternating between the very popular at the time dubstep, and old-timey big band. So whenever "BANGARANG" was blasting, it was only myself and three other university student-aged guests dancing, and when "My Way" came on next we would sit down, and then only the bride and bride's mother would dance.
You probably already guessed from reading the above, but in case you didn't, the groom was also a miserable old git who refused to dance, so the bride also didn't have a first dance.
I was seated at a table with fellow three university students and this one random 30-something co-worker of the bride. It was clear because she was single and possibly had no one else, she dumped at our table as an afterthought. I tried my best at my wise old age of 19 to give her adult conversation but you could tell she looked uncomfortable, bored, and miserable.
The groom kept taking the mic from the DJ on and off throughout the night and "jokingly" reminding us that they (the couple), had paid for a drinks bar, so please can we drink from it?
I really should have taken the MC up on her bet, because they separated after 2 years, got back together, had a baby, then divorced 2 years after that.
4. As Exciting As Watching Paint Dry
My cheap cousin. The ceremony and reception were an hour apart driving and that was the time they allotted for cocktail hour, so no one got a cocktail. They took three hours to show up to the reception and we’re super annoyed the children were upset. They topped the cake by doing some stupid painting thing we all got to watch, where they each dumped a color of paint on a canvas to “celebrate their love” and then basically finger-painted with it for 10 minutes.
5. Rules For Thee And Not For Me
I went to an evangelical wedding. No drinking, no soda, only gospel songs. During the ceremony, the priest made an utterly disturbing speech. He talked about adultery where the gist was basically: If the woman cheats, it's the woman's fault. If the man cheats, it's also the woman's fault.
6. No Escape
I went to a Southern Baptist wedding when I was in college. It was some family friend who I never really met. Figured, you know, it's a summer wedding at the lake...it'll be fun, yeah?
No drinks. Food was catered by....the church. No music or dancing. The ceremony was over an hour long and included a vaguely prejudiced prayer about how "Pure and Beautiful" the bride was in all white. We couldn't go out on the dock or enjoy the lake itself. We weren't allowed to get up to get food until the bride and groom had stopped by the table. The bride's dad gave a 20-minute speech about the groom, only mentioning the bride (his daughter) when he talked about all the grandkids he wanted. The cake was the size of a refrigerator, but the guests were only allowed to eat a separate sheet cake that was made of those desiccant packets. And to top it off, it was easily pushing 90 degrees in the Virginian summer...and we were outside in a tent with no airflow.
When we tried to leave, a bridesmaid tried to stop us because they hadn't done photos yet. We managed to fabricate some excuse and made a beeline for the closest air-conditioned bar/restaurant....where we found probably a dozen other people from the same wedding. We found out the wedding continued well into the evening...doing what? I have no idea.
Fortunately, from that event, I learned that if you want a wedding that people remember fondly...don't do ANYTHING that that couple did.
They did get divorced a few years later. It turns out that t groom had (several) side chicks.
6. Now You See It, Now You Don’t
The worst wedding I went to was my aunt's very expensive wedding…that I guess technically wasn't a wedding—and the reason why is truly deranged. She got cold feet so she stopped at a Spencer's on the way to the church and bought a pen with disappearing ink to sign the marriage certificate with in case she wasn't brave enough to call it off.
When she got to the church she locked the certificate in her car so no one could get it and then proceeded to have a breakdown in the dressing room. About 30 minutes after the ceremony was supposed to start she finally called it off, and when the groom told his mom she collapsed with a heart attack and mild stroke and was rushed to the hospital. They still had the reception though.
7. You Might Be A Redneck If…
The bride and groom drove around on a riding lawnmower to the tune of “She Thinks My Tractor's Sexy” by Kenney Chesney on repeat for 30 minutes after the “I do”, then they spent another 40 minutes getting pictures of themselves in raunchy positions on the lawnmower and pictures with the wedding party in front of it before anyone could go to the tent to get refreshments. We all just sat in the sun waiting for them to be done.
It was an outdoor wedding, over 95° out, no shade, and I was seven months pregnant. It was not a fun time. He is not even a farmer, he lives in an apartment and it was his mom's riding lawnmower.
8. The Seatfillers
This guy I knew at work invited a few of us to his wedding when he married his husband. It was a completely over-the-top expensive wedding. Sure, we were invited—but we were treated like scum. It was awkward, weird, and kind of offensive. Also, we all had to travel to get there and book accommodations, just to be treated like garbage.
The coworkers—8 of us in total, who worked closely together for over 10 years—were seated at a single distant table, when we were introduced to his partner it was made clear it was reluctantly. His partner stood back and gave us a wave—he did not speak or shake hands with anyone and made it clear we weren’t welcome. The vibe and awkwardness just snowballed from there. We felt like rent-a-crowd, and it had cost us all a lot of money to be there. Everyone ditched him after that point—and he left work about 6 months later.
9. Bon Appetit!
I was asked to cater a cater. I was told the budget was $10k and they wanted a sit-down (servers, not buffet), tri-tip dinner for 100ish people. I came back with an itemized menu about $1K under budget. The reaction was chilling. The groom flipped out and told me it was ridiculous. He also said that he could get tri-tip at a local chain for a fraction of what I was quoting. Mind you, he would get offcuts, and lesser quality, and would have to drive around to a bunch of locations and buy small quantities to get the sale price. And the budget for the whole wedding was $10k, they were trying to do food for $1-2k.
The whole thing was off the rails by the time they got to the actual wedding.
The cake was outside in the sunlight on a 100° day, despite specific instructions that it must be kept cool. Read gloopy mess. With leaves and outdoor bits on it.
The bride’s elderly father was leaf-blowing the picnic area of the community park party area that became the venue just before guests arrived…and after the cake was delivered.
The bride made the bridesmaids make origami flowers for bouquets…except none of them knew how it had any interest in origami. Floppy misshapen flowers on wooden skewers were what I was told happened.
To make up for the lack of tri-tip, the groomsmen were supposed to grill hot dogs. It ended up being the bride’s father on one of those 18” picnic area BBQs trying to grill for 100+ people.
10. Runaway Bride
This one is a doozy, mainly because this isn’t even the first attempt at a wedding this trainwreck couple had, though it’s the more bombastic of the two.
The venue was beautiful but in the middle of nowhere. I walk into the chapel and the baffling decision was made to have the seats for the ceremony also be the tables for the reception. And also for some reason have dinner first, which was just soup. No one wanted to be there, and apparently, their families were smart enough to get out of dodge and not attend to this impending chaos.
The bride walks in looking stunning in this lovely ballgown, but also nervous as heck. The groom is wearing what could only be described as a very garish suit. Like one a hustler, or procurer of ladies might wear—hat included.
The vows are going normally until it’s time for the ring, at which point I couldn’t hear exactly what started the fight but the bride‘s mood takes a huge turn and there’s this incredibly awkward moment where she pushes it back into his hand and we all swore it was going to start a freaking tug of war and wondered if the wedding would even continue.
The ceremony ground to a halt and people (myself included) took the opportunity to leave while they sorted their stuff out.
The whole thing must’ve fallen apart because I’d heard the bride got into a screaming match with the groom and another guy in the parking lot before driving off in what was supposed to be the honeymoon “getaway car” by herself.
11. A Contagious Itch
My cousin lives about 5 hours away. We get together a few times a year. He had a long-term girlfriend named Jane, but they didn’t live together. I never actually saw the wedding invitation. Mine went to my parent’s house. We get to the church and we realize we’ve never met the bride!
My other cousin and I had been to visit just six months before. My mom quietly asked my aunt about Jane. That’s when we found out what was happening.
They had broken up. But there was no cheating. The new girl wasn’t pregnant. My cousin met a new girl after the break-up and now four months later they were getting married. It was an alright ceremony. The church was a small one. Our out-of-town contingent of family made up the majority of the guests. After my cousin married this mystery woman the preacher asked if anyone else was feeling the itch to get hitched.
Anyway, this other couple got up and renewed their vows! It was a spur-of-the-moment thing for them. My aunt wasn’t expecting it. The renewal couple were not at the reception. To this day we joke about the random couple that crashed the wedding ceremony.
12. Doomed From The Start
The worst wedding I’ve ever attended was the one where pretty much everyone knew it was a mistake, and the couple was not aligned on anything at all. Both sides sat isolated from the other side, neither side met the other. The groom was making "jokes" about marriage/”women, am I right” throughout the engagement, the bride seemed annoyed at everything he did and said. The speeches didn't mention them as a couple at all and were more like "If you're happy, then alright then”. To no one's surprise, they divorced 2 short years later.
I was raised Catholic and worked in a tuxedo shop throughout high school and college. I've been to dozens upon dozens of weddings. Tacky, lavish, in a park, in a church, WoW-themed, super religious...None of it matters as much as the clear depiction of the couple having the support of their people. When that is not there, the wedding is the worst to attend.
13. You Wouldn’t Like Me When I’m Hangry
My fiancé stood in line during cocktail hour while I got a table. He came back with a single cracker, two slices of cheese, and four grapes. I asked him why the heck he didn't get anything else and he was like "This was all that was left”...
The ceremony was super long so we were starving. We ordered two different entrees—we usually share so we can try multiple things. I got a tablespoon of mashed potatoes and a tiny piece of chicken. I was so hungry. His was barely any bigger, and we wound up going to McDonald's on the way home. Food is the most important thing at a wedding!
I worked at a wedding where the groom’s father made a speech. I will never forget it until the day I croak. It began with: “When we first met the bride, we thought she wasn't much to look at…but then we got to know her”.
I don't know if it was meant to be a joke or what, but holy moly, you could hear everyone’s jaws hit the floor at the same time.
15. Thanks For Nothing
I went to a $100,000 wedding where we, the bride’s family, were an afterthought. For context, my father is the brother of the bride’s mother, who is notoriously a social climber and wanted to impress her upscale friends. I think they had around 500 people.
The invitations were hand-calligraphed, except ours, which was a photocopy of a real invitation in an Office Depot business envelope that was addressed to my parents and included a note that said +3, meaning them plus my sibling and his spouse and me. My girlfriend was not included because she doesn’t “count”. Our envelope wasn’t even mailed, just shoved in their mailbox. I was, I think, around 38 at the time and had never been “group” invited.
None of us were included in the wedding except for 1/10 cousins who was a reader, and when we arrived at the church, we (including the grandmother of the bride) were seated around six rows back, behind friends of the mother of the bride and the best friend of her sister.
The reception was nice but we didn’t get assigned seats, just general seating at counter high tables on stools.
We believe they invited so many of their friends they wanted to impress and spent so much on the reception at a whole private country club that they went over budget and had to scale back on the family. Oh well, the cake we heard about being designer, very expensive, etc, tasted terrible.
The icing on the terrible cake was I stood my ground and refused to send a separate gift, but chipped into the “group gift”. My father’s other female siblings said it was rude, and I maintained “Group invite = group gift”.
They just bought the couple a $2mm house in the “best area”; they didn’t need a Cuisinart from me.
16. Better Late Than Never
I made the 2.5-hour drive to the Cape to find out that bride and groom never even applied to get a permit to do a wedding on the beach so another wedding was already planned and happening that day. They came up with a plan on the fly—and it was utterly ridiculous.
For some reason, they decide to do a quickie ceremony before any guests arrived. I arrived early to find out that I missed the “wedding” and now my good friend the bride is upstairs getting changed.
She was up there for an absurd amount of time while I hung out with her family. The vibes were so weird as it seemed everyone was a little put out by the situation. They had a really good raw oyster bar that was nice, though.
17. Please Release Me
I went to a church wedding for a bridezilla. It was poorly organized. The bride decided that the entire reception could be set up (tables and all) by a couple of elderly ladies. The groom happened to show up at the church and see the old ladies trying to drag tables around he pitched in and called some of the groomsmen and they got it set up. The whole time, the bride was nowhere to be found. It turns out she was napping.
At the ceremony, the bride insisted on playing at least 5-6 songs, all of which were 5-6 minutes long. So the entire congregation is just sitting there listening to a 6-minute rendition of "The Rose" or whatever, followed by another 5-minute rendition of something else.
Finally, we get to the reception where the bride insists on opening every single gift despite her groom telling her this is gonna take too long but it's "her day". She gets offended that people are leaving in the middle of "her day" and she has to open every single gift and then publicly thank the person and everyone at the reception just wants to go home. I get that you're happy. I'm happy for you. Can I go home now?
18. Making Hard Lemonade Out Of Lemons
I flew to Florida for my cousin's wedding. I landed, and when I turned on my cell phone, I had an avalanche of messages. As I read them, my blood ran cold. The wedding was off, as the bride bailed out the morning of the ceremony.
Everyone was either already in town, or on their way. My uncle had a very serious heart condition, so my mom (his sister) assigned me the task of removing him from the stress so he doesn't have a heart attack and die. I take him to the reception site which they haven't taken down yet, and the bar is already paid for. I sat at the reception and get loaded with my uncle on the (sort of) free drinks for the rest of the day while the family sorted out the mess elsewhere, and dealt with all the guests coming from all over the country.
In retrospect, it was probably the most quality time I ever spent hanging out with my uncle. Unfortunately, it had to be under those circumstances.
19. Rated R For Language
A friend from high school got married when we were in our early 20s. The reception was a huge pool party at her very wealthy college bestie’s house.
During speeches, the bride’s wealthy college bestie gives a rambling speech about “flow state” and “energy frequencies” where she refers to the bride no less than five times as a B-word. A bad one, the baddest one, etc, etc. Yes, many, many grandparents were sitting several feet from her. At the very end, she tosses in a “shoutout to the groom, too. He’s cool”.
As an aside, the bride’s college bestie has since been implicated in recruiting young women into her boyfriend’s new-age tech-bro cult.
Then, the bride’s dad gives a speech. He cries and primarily talks about how he was a jerk and a bad husband to her mom—who is standing 10 feet away from her new husband, fuming—and he hopes that the bride/groom will be better at marriage than they were.
The bride and groom have been happily married ever since, have a cute family and honestly seem to be living the dream. Glad their bizarre wedding reception didn’t portend bad things for them as a couple.
20. Royal Rumble
Several years ago, I was at the wedding of my family friend’s—my dad's friend since childhood—stepson. I met the groom several times before at summer barbecues and he always seemed like the type of person that would be quick to yell at someone in public but never witnessed any issues in my dealings with him in previous interactions.
Fast forward to their wedding; the actual ceremony was nice, and the first half of the reception was fine, but at some point, the groom accused his best man of pawing at his wife during a dance and then straight up punched his best man.
This escalated into a brawl between the groom and most of the groomsmen fighting each other, with the bride’s father somehow getting involved.
The authorities came and detained the groom, the best man, another groomsman, and the bride’s father, and almost took away the wife. It was by far the most white trash experience of my life.
Since the wedding, my dad's friend has been over maybe twice. I imagine due to embarrassment. I don't know if the bride and groom are still together.
21. Dinner & A Show
Both the bride and the groom got caught hooking up their side pieces at the reception.
There was a loud (and detailed) fight about how their side pieces did things for (and vividly, to) them that their new spouse could/would never do. I distinctly remember a parent putting their hands over their kid’s ears and walking them out of the room.
The ceremony was pretty good though, 20ish minutes with a nice message about your partner supporting you through tough times and working together as a team. The reception food was really tasty, I found out later it was Boston Market.
Unfortunately, neither I nor the couple made it to the cake-cutting.
22. Fire In The Hole
I went to a wedding where the ceremony was outside. The guests were standing in the grass which was still damp from the rain the night before. Heels were sinking into the ground, feet in the heels were hurting with no sign of stopping, and fire ants were lurking in the grass because the rain washed away the ant poison. One guest had to leave before the ceremony even started because she was unknowingly standing on an ant hill and she’s allergic to fire ants. The ceremony also ran long.
Besides that, it was a beautiful wedding though.
23. Two For One
This happened at my cousin’s wedding when he got married to his long-time girlfriend. After the vows were completed, the bride's mom and her boyfriend stepped up. What they said made my jaw drop. They told everyone there that they had just got married too and were going to have a joint reception. They had invited additional guests as well—but that’s not the craziest part.
The wedding was paid for by my cousin, the groom’s family, who was blindsided by it all. Maybe not the worst…but after, there was drama for years from that branch of the family.
24. Lessons Were Learned
My uncle's second marriage was a doozy. I'm all for budget, backyard weddings but this one was not it.
Instead of using the gorgeous house and garden as the backdrop for the ceremony arch, they chose the corner intersection of the small town. A man walked past during the ceremony and walked back 10 minutes later with a case of beer and rubber-necked the whole time.
The bridal party just wore whatever they wanted. Not even a common color scheme. The bride and groom wore homemade Renaissance-fair-style outfits. The bride was an hour late and another hour getting ready. She is a natural blonde and had dyed her hair black with obvious box dye which did not match her face foundation to her neck.
The groom had a similar black box dye job but had been done a couple of weeks prior and was growing out. During their ceremony, they did a honey mead pour. The officiant said verbatim, "And as our childhoods are like sweet honey but ferment into adulthood, so this fermented honey meade represents your shared lives together". And then they both drank honey mead out of a tacky goblet.
After the ceremony was over my grandpa, the father of the groom, who was like 80 at the time, turns to me and my fiancé and loudly says, "Well, did you take notes on what not to do at your wedding”?
25. Wet N Wild
It was in the ballroom of a Ramada hotel, which was normal. But you had to walk through the pool to get to the ballroom, which was less normal. A small child ran straight into a wedding guest and both of them hit the floor, which was of course covered with puddles of pool water. The ballroom itself was full of empty tables, so naturally the buffet of sandwich bread and deli meat was set up in the hallway, blocking guests’ access to and from their rooms.
26. You Had One Job
I knew almost no one at this wedding. It was the wedding of a work friend of my wife's, and I had never met any of these people except one couple.
The groom tells the bride to NOT smash the cake in his face. They seem to be joking about it, but it's escalating to being serious. She had a large piece of cake in her hand and desperately tried to smash it in his face, he was without a doubt angry and yelling don't do it! They're grabbing at each other and she gets him in the face.
But then he went way too far.
He grabs her by the back of the head and slams her face into the cake on the table, knocking the cake and the bride to the floor.
Her brother runs up, punches the groom square in the face. Drops him.
The groom’s family rushes in and attacks the brother. The father of the bride and his brothers jump in.
Complete and total chaos breaks loose.
I grab my wife and go to the back of the room, where the bar is, and watch.
The authorities are called and several members of both families are put in cuffs and everyone is kicked out.
27. A Look Is Worth 1,000 Words
I had known the groom since high school and while he'd had a crush on me in like 10th grade or something, nothing ever came of it and we were just friends. Seven years after high school he was marrying his college sweetheart. I knew that his wife had a weird thing about the fact that he had once liked me but for real, he always described her as his literal dream girl and they'd been dating for several years. I never had designs on him, he'd never even acted on the crush, it was really and truly a big ol nothing.
But I found out at the wedding that she'd organized several surprise events for him in the week leading up and I'd been purposefully excluded. And at the wedding, I went up to congratulate her but she just glared at me and refused to speak. I have one picture of her from the wedding and it's my friend giving a giant cheesy "Hey, I just got married” smile and her giving me the nastiest glare as I snapped it.
I spent the whole reception just hanging with our friend group and trying to avoid any interaction with her.
28. All Talk, No Show
A friend of mine and his now-ex decided to go as cheap as possible for the wedding. I am fine with cheap, but she took pipe cleaners and construction paper and made flowers with them. They also rented a big hall and used an $80 CD player boombox and let her brother be the "DJ" for the night and because the CD player was so small you could hardly hear it.
Also, two weeks before the wedding she sent out an email that she changed her mind and wanted everyone to dress formally instead of casually.
I was going to be the best man, but she insisted she write my wedding speech and when I told her I am a big boy and can make my own, I was downgraded to guest.
She angered so many people that at least 70% of the people didn't show up. She had tables set up with people’s names on them, and they were mostly empty.
She cried all night because she could not understand why so many people didn't show up.
It was the most depressing wedding and reception I have ever experienced in my life. She was the worst kind of bridezilla.
29. Riders On The Storm
I’m new here, but when I was young, I nearly lost my life attending a wedding.
This was in East Asia and I was 13. My mother took me to her friend’s wedding. Unfortunately, on the day of the wedding, a typhoon struck my hometown. Typhoons are normal during the summer back home, so we attended anyway. The venue was a seafood restaurant in a fishing village near the coast. My mum parked on the street in front of the restaurant amid the rain. The wedding went ahead, and everything seemed normal.
Then, the host grabbed the mic and announced “If your car is parked outside, please leave ASAP since it is flooding”. We went outside and the water level is halfway up the tire. We grabbed a wooden board and used that to get into the car. Both of us had to enter from the passenger side of the curb to avoid getting wet. But then the bridge connecting the village to the city was closed for safety reasons. So we were stuck.
We decided to head north to get on the highway back to the city. The visibility in the rain was around 15 meters, however, we couldn’t drive slowly since the water lever is rising each minute, and if you let go of the accelerator, your engine might stall if the water enter the pipes. We sped through the country roads with the water levels going crazy. That’s when disaster struck. Suddenly, I heard a boom, and my side (passenger) sank. We drove into a ditch because my mother couldn’t distinguish between road and farmlands with everything underwater. We were stuck. My mum then told me to get off and locate another friend’s car, since everyone we knew left the venue as a group in a motorcade. She was willing to go down in the car. I hugged her and exited the car.
It was utterly terrifying. The rain smashed onto my head. For those of you who never experienced typhoons, it’s like someone pouring a bucket of water on your head every second. I walked with nearly no visibility until I saw a vehicle. I opened the door, a stranger looked at me confused. She told me to get in anyway.
Then our friend arrived and transferred me to his car. We drove to a gas station (which was elevated) and asked for help. The owner took us in and gave us towels and hot food. A few minutes later I saw my mum’s car arriving at the station. It turned out that some farmers went to check on their crops, realized that it was hopeless, and helped elevate our car so that my mother could reverse out of the ditch.
We stayed in the gas station for the night. The next morning, we left once the floods went away and returned to the city via the highway.
Later, we heard that many other guests experienced similar stuff. Parts of the city also flooded, and many who carpooled to the wedding lost their cars in the flood since they were parked in the basement. We were the lucky ones.
I am still grateful to all the people who helped us, the gas station owners, the farmers, and the strangers who saved our lives. We visited the station the following week with gifts and talked to the owners and expressed our appreciation.
The bride and groom stayed their wedding night in the restaurant and divorced several years later. I guess that marriage didn’t have the perfect start.
30. One-Stop Shopping
I drove limousines for a friend for several years and drove for lots of wedding parties. I picked up a young bride-to-be, maid of honor, and bridesmaids at the local Mormon church and drove them to a parking lot at a local grocery store where the wedding took place, in the parking lot.
Grocery store customers were coming and going, which was also located along a busy section of road in town. Just a really weird vibe all around, but hey, it was their wedding, do what you do…
31. Get Out And Stay Out
My roommate got married in my living room to her long-distance boyfriend of 6 months.
They didn't have catering, she didn't have any kind of wedding dress, there was no rehearsal or anything. It was just "Hey, do you want to get married right now”? And then they got married.
But I should be honest: I wasn't there. Because my jerk roommate called me at 4 pm and said "Hey don't come home today. We're getting married in an hour and don't want you there”.
So it's less "worst wedding I've ever been to," And more "worst wedding that I was very specifically not invited to”.
I found out what happened at it later from our other roommate who was invited.
32. From Comedy To Tragedy
In college, a guy on my dorm floor was engaged to a 32-year-old woman with 3 kids and was 6 months pregnant with his kid. After the wedding ceremony, The groom’s dad said “Where are the rocks”? as others were throwing rice.
The reception was at an Elks club in small-town Iowa. The food consisted of ham sandwiches and chips from the Hy Vee grocery store—but then things took a dark turn.
The bride ended up getting in an argument with her uncle and she ended up falling down a flight of stairs. She was curled up crying “My baby, my baby”! We had seen enough and went on our way. She ended up being okay. Word was he was divorced within a year.
33. One Man’s Trash Is Another’s Treasure
Years ago, my best friend at that time got married to her boyfriend of 5 years. In Germany, you get officially married at the civil status office, while the church is obligatory and only for church members. That caused a fight since she is atheistic and he is Catholic, so he had to get permission from the priest to marry her. They compromised on no church wedding but she (reluctantly) had to swear a holy oath that the future kids would be baptized and raised Catholic.
Fast forward to the ceremony. I attended with my now ex-partner. It was a lonely rural area, so the marriage hall at the civil status office was very small, with room for maybe 20 people. They somehow managed to fit in 35 people, but the rest had to wait outside—altogether there were about 100 guests.
It was July and very hot, the hall was jammed with sweating groaning adults and screaming kids. We were standing at the door and could barely hear the wedding vows. After that, the crowd swarmed off to the reception that would take place in a clubhouse the groom was a member of.
The house was in the middle of nowhere, deep in the woods on a hill, and not easy to find so we tried to follow the others. During the drive, the weather changed rapidly, it got cold and a heavy rainstorm arose. Upon arriving we realized the clubhouse had no heating and only 5 toilets. The whole area was muddy and the nearby stream was overflowing, so everyone got wet shoes and many women had the border of their dresses ruined.
But where were the bride and groom? They had left to get their official marriage photos taken and were absent for the next 3 hours. The wedding party was getting hungry, thirsty, half-frozen and slowly getting grumpy. The only drinks were wine, beer, and water. After maybe one and a half hours all drinks were gone and some guys hastily had to purchase new drinks from the local gas station, since regular stores are closed on Sundays in Germany. The kids were bored, and cold and voiced their discontent loud and clear. The guys got inebriated and went to the range.
Finally, the bride and groom reappeared and the crowd was hoping to be catered to, with high hopes for the secret surprise menu. I was the only friend from our former high school class that wasn't seated at the same table but instead with some elderly neighbors of the groom, I'd never met.
After being seated, there were speeches. A lot of them, are long and many offensive jokes. Finally, the food arrived. I thought it would be roast goose with some trimmings. No, it was a swan. No other options. It just tasted weird...I like geese, ducks, and all sorts of birds, but I couldn't take more than 2 or 3 bites. Many others, especially vegetarians also had a hard time. The bride's sister and her boyfriend among others weren't pleased, and just stuck to the potatoes and carrots.
Fast forward to the wedding dance: No DJ, just a cheap tiny stereo with awful sound quality. The opening dance was "Nothing Else Matters" by Metallica, while the rest was party schlager music—a special form of German pop, low-level and often with explicit references. You need a lot of drinks to survive it. Everyone got a little silly and enjoyed the wedding games.
At midnight the cake was served. The only problem was that someone had forgotten to put it in the fridge so it fell apart when the bride and groom tried to cut it. They still served the mashed cake though. Then we finally decided to leave. I couldn't reach the bride so I told her mum to say greetings and left. The first thing I did at home was go to a fast food restaurant that served full-sized grilled chicken with lots of fries. Fast food has never tasted better.
They are still married and still rave over their perfect wonderful and romantic wedding.
34. All Work And No Play
It was my cousin’s wedding. I had to be a bodyguard for this one girl at the reception because a couple of the guys there kept hitting on her, and she wanted nothing to do with them. I ended up dancing quite a few times with her.
My uncle, the father of the groom, has severe social anxiety when he has to do speeches, so he could potentially blow a gasket if too many people bother him. My mom and I had to write out his entire speech, including some comedy, so he wouldn't seem so stiff.
The DJ thought he was hot stuff and did stuff the bride and groom asked not to be done, including playing this song that is used for stripping the groom out of his clothes. A couple of my older cousins dragged him outside and had a really tense conversation after that.
Then, later at night, one of the guys who I was protecting the girl from claimed I had been hogging her the whole night and proceeded to try and start a fight with me. Before it could even escalate to punches, she cut him down so hard with a few words, that he just went back to his table and sulked until he left.
35. Down And Dirty
It was a relative of mine. They lived on the grounds of a beautiful venue and had the wedding and reception there. It should’ve been a fairy tale wedding—instead, it was a horror story.
The house they lived in was filthy and they didn’t bother to clean at all before the wedding, despite allowing multiple guests to go inside. I am talking dirty diapers on top of pizza boxes on top of dirty dishes on the living room couch. Said couch was once white but was covered in disgusting mystery stains.
There were piles of dirty dishes in the kitchen, unmade mattresses on the floor serving as beds, black fingerprints about 4 feet up the walls, and overflowing trash cans in the bathroom and kitchen. The floors were dirty and the bride walked around the house barefoot and the bottom 2 or 3 inches of her wedding dress turned black from the dirt. This was before the service.
The ceremony was about 5 minutes long and reception started immediately. there were no chairs. They only had a few hors d'oeuvres and a small cake for about 50 guests, and sodas and water. Nothing else to drink. No band, no DJ, no music at all.
The bride was rude to her new husband, her mother, and her sister. Everyone stood around awkwardly. We left after about 30 minutes. They lasted 2 years.
36. Best Before
I went to a church during college where couples often got married before they really could afford to. One couple, in particular, had their reception in the gym of a church. The food was all store-bought, not catered, and other people from the church, myself included, helped serve the food. Well, unfortunately, the food had sat out for so long that several people, myself included, got food poisoning.
37. An Expensive Mistake
My brother's wedding. My dad had said he wouldn't go, so my aunt was originally going to be seated at the family table. Last minute, my dad and brother talked it out and dad was now going.
My aunt upset that she had to be moved to the dreaded "extended family" table, paid the best man to have him shout her out during his toast. She also insisted that when she entered the reception area she is announced by name—like how you say "and now presenting Mr. And Mrs. Name—and told the announcer to not announce my parents.
The wedding was, God, 11 years ago and my brother and his now ex have been divorced for 8 years. They still haven't paid off the credit cards they racked up to host that party.
38. Me First
Almost four years ago I was at my stepdad’s and mother’s wedding. I was 19 at the time and I caught the bouquet. I just joined for the fun—but the reaction was disturbing. The woman next to me hip-checked me into the ground ripping it out of my hand and said she needed it more than me. My mom was horrified, especially about the bruise on my hip I got from it. I’m never participating in a bouquet toss again, especially since my aunt is getting married in 3 days and that same woman who hip-checked me is coming to the wedding.
39. And For My Next Trick…
Two years ago one of my cousins got married and had the reception outside at my grandparent's house. They live on two acres of land, so there was plenty of room. There were about 15 tables and a bunch of tiki torches put up since it was nighttime.
My cousin Drew decided to take one of the ice buckets from the bar area, dump the ice out, and pour a little of everyone's drink into the bucket while everyone is busy dancing. He then attempted to drink the mix inside the bucket.
Of course, since there were all kinds of beer and champagne and wine in it, about halfway through he doubled over and began to spew EVERYWHERE. To right himself, he tried to grab a nearby tiki torch—which was already kinda leaning towards him—thus pulling it the rest of the way over and setting himself aflame.
He then stood there like a burning geyser of vomit for a second before everyone flipped out and mobbed him to try and extinguish him.
40. Unhappy Ending
I went to a wedding of a family acquaintance recently and during the reception, I was fortunate enough to experience an extremely emotional scene.
After the first part of the ceremony, the bride’s family gathered around to take pictures with the groom's family. This was an outdoor ceremony and the sun was shining brightly on the garden where the pictures were taken. One of the bride’s uncles comes out of a small building with a paraplegic elderly man in a wheelchair.
It turns out to be the father of the bride and he is unable to move a muscle due to some spinal injury he suffered years ago. I was told they told him numerous times that his daughter was getting married and he did not respond at all, he couldn't. They decided to bring him out for one picture with the family before bringing him back inside because he could not stand the bright sun for too long.
The father was placed in front of the bride and she gave him a hug on his wheelchair. They then began to take pictures. That’s when I witnessed a devastating scene. During this, the old man began to cry. He could not move and he didn't make a sound but tears were rolling down his face.
This had been one of the few times he had shown any physical response and everyone began to cry. At the dinner later, the bride was late. When I found out why, I almost burst out crying.
It turns out the father could not take the physical toll the wedding brought to him and he ended up in the hospital.
41. Break Glass In Case Of Emergency
I work as a caterer, so I've seen more weddings than I ever thought I would. All of these weddings are your storybook, picturesque, 20-40 thousand dollar deals. Each one is carefully, and artfully prepared, the only thing we can't hand-pick are the people.
I've seen EVERYTHING, from people stripping down and peeing in bushes, to skinny-dippers in retention ponds. Though out of all of my stories, this one is the best.
Two 20-somethings were getting married, I'd say around 29 or so. They have their reception in a chapel that's all glass. We have to wipe down this thing before every wedding, so you can imagine...it's spotless.
In all of our venues, there's always at least one bar and plenty of booze. This wedding party however was excessive in their drinking. More so than usual. While the party is still going strong, and about halfway through the wedding the groom walks away from the bride and steps outside to smoke. The bride is pretty inebriated, so she doesn't notice at first. When she sees her man is gone, she looks around and spots him (outside the glass) trying to be cute she runs towards him and there's a deafening sound.
The bride ran headfirst into the glass and splits her nose in half. There is blood everywhere, she's in pain, and an ambulance is rushed to the scene.
I went to a cousin's wedding when I was really little. She had spent a fortune on decorations and dresses and had this extravagant wedding dress tailored for her. And we all arrived and waited for the wedding to start. An hour passed, then another, and all the adults started grumbling. Finally, a group of guys drove over to find out what was keeping up the groom—this was before mobile phones were ubiquitous.
That’s when we found out the bizarre truth. It turned out that the bride hadn't informed him of their wedding. Or their engagement. Or that they were dating. So we all went to a very awkward wedding reception. I was just happy to be able to take off that stupid gaudy dress that was forced on me.
The groom was never heard from again. I think he survived. The bride's family wasn't especially forthcoming with information after that. As for her parents? I think she must have told different lies to everyone in attendance. Pretty bad deal for all the people who flew in for the wedding and had to pay for tuxedos and ugly dresses, but at least they got a great story out of it.
I remember we had to un-decorate the car they rented for the wedding before we could go to the reception party. It was a sweet car, one of those 1950s Buick convertibles.
43. First And Last Impressions
My ex invited me to his mother's second wedding in Idaho. I had never met any of his family and was very out of place amongst all of the conservative religious people in that small town.
We arrived just hours before the wedding and I met the most insane woman ever. His aunt.
Her toddler (she was in her late 50s) had fallen asleep before the ceremony started, and the family encouraged me to take his seat so I could sit next to my boyfriend. She complained loudly until the bride started walking down the aisle
I discovered that I was allergic to sagebrush and was having the first and only allergic reaction of my life, therefore tearing up and sniffling quite a bit. As we went to file out she walked behind me and loudly commented about how I was faking "being emotional" because I didn't even belong there.
At the reception she showed up late, she went from table to table complaining about the bride's choices of decor, the married couple's relationship, etc.
She also complained about the quality of the FREE champagne that was being served nonstop. She proceeded to get half in the bag and started dancing inappropriately during the first song while the bride and groom tried to have their first dance.
People started trying to get her to leave, and she was becoming angrier and angrier, her toddler was begging her for food and getting sleepy, and she ignored him and everyone else.
She ended up hitting on the groom, and he called her out, in a last-ditch effort she lunged at him, clamped her hand on his groin, and tried to kiss him, leading with her tongue.
The bride had finally had enough, stopped the band, and politely and loudly told her to leave NOW.
She lurked outside for over two hours, crying, yelling, ignoring her son, and shoving away people that were trying to get her to just leave.
My boyfriend and I were supposed to stay on an air mattress in his mother's living room that night, when we got back from the reception the awful aunt had DRIVEN herself and her son back to the house—she was supposed to stay in a hotel—and crashed in our spot.
We ended up having to sleep in the yard in a tent. The next day my boyfriend and I tried to take a nap on the air mattress and his aunt ripped off the blanket screaming that she knew we were doing the deed and that we were disgusting. We were both fully clothed and fully asleep, it was 2 pm and many people were in an out of the room.
Eventually, my boyfriend's mom kicked her out of the house and ended her relationship with her then and there. As far as I know, they still have not spoken.
44. Moms Gone Wild
My best friend’s sister got married and had a photo booth for the guests to take pictures. It took a set of 4 pictures and they were for their photo album of the wedding. Guests kept thinking the photos would be given to them after, which they weren't. They were digitally saved and not even printed until after the wedding.
As a result, the guests were kind of doing some off-the-wall stuff. The groom’s mom got very inebriated and started arguments with her ex-husband and his wife, and even grabbed my best friend’s mom in the photo booth and attempted to make out with her. She was just acting insane.
The best part is when we looked through the photo strips after her sister developed them and made a shocking discovery. There were multiple sets of photos of the groom's mom flashing the camera.
45. Revenge Is Sweet
My cousin got married and they were taking forever at the reception to cut the cake. My aunt, more than a little hungry, got tired of waiting. So, when my cousin went to do the whole smush cake in the groom’s face and vice versa, there was a piece missing from the cake.
My cousin was not thrilled but didn't make a huge stink out of it. Instead, she waited to get revenge.
When my aunt's birthday rolled around she got a cake…with one piece missing.
46. Mother Knows Best
During my brother and sister-in-law's wedding, my mom wasn't pleased with how my brother's hair looked, he was styled and spiked up when she thought it should be combed down. She ran up in the middle of their vows and tried physically combing my brother's hair down to what she thinks will look ideal.
My brother was completely embarrassed and tried to block and restrain my mom. When he did, my mom purposely lunged back gently and did a gentle tumbled and rolled about 10 feet back and "fell" onto the ground like a soccer player would do.
She broke down and cried about how my brother would push her mother down and guilt-tripping him. She then screamed about how my sister-in-law has corrupted and poisoned my brother's mind.
My dad then stormed up swiftly and physically dragged my mom out of the reception room. Everyone was shocked and attributed to her having had a few too many. However, she hadn't had a single drop. My sister and I looked at each other and honestly, both of us weren't too surprised.
So here we are. My brother and sister-in-law haven't seen or visited most of our family for almost 3 years now.
47. Operation Save The Cake
We were chilling at home one Saturday afternoon when our pastor called, asking us to come down to the church—we were to quietly come in the kitchen entrance, get the wedding cake from the walk-in cooler and take it home with us. Ummm, okay...
When we got there the groom's grandmother met us to hand over the cake, and we got the story. The bride and groom were just now getting married after having a kid together who was by then 2 or 3 years old. The bride was pregnant again. One of the families had insisted they get married for the sake of the children, and the wedding was all a big show and everyone knew it.
One of the mothers just had to say something, right before their turn to be escorted down the aisle by groomsmen. Screaming and fisticuffs ensued, ripped dresses, the wedding ruined, authorities were called, and the cake needed to be spirited away before someone decided to sabotage it in a fit of prenuptial rage.
Later that night the erstwhile bride and groom picked it up and took it home. Small-town drama is over.
48. Smile, You’re On Candid Camera
Two of my brothers-in-law hate each other and for some reason, we invited both of them to our wedding. They tried to fist-fight each other and my sisters got in the middle of it and it became a shameful redneck reception.
The meltdown was mine though. I began flipping out on everyone: sisters, brothers-in-law, mother, anyone I thought was allowing people to ruin my wife's special day. Sadly, the videographer was doing those friend/family interview things not far from me and you can hear me cursing my family out in the background. It was the biggest loudest hissy fit I've ever been through and it's preserved forever on our wedding video.
49. Bad Blood
A friend’s cousin got married a few years ago, the bride's brother was a nutcase and got himself banned from the wedding by causing all sorts of drama at the engagement party.
The wedding day rolls around and the brother shows up at the reception in a white suit, happy and dancing. Everyone thought he was trying to make amends until the speeches happened—but we were in for an unpleasant surprise. Je grabbed the mic to rant about what a horrible person his sister was and how much he hates the groom and his family. He was promptly kicked out.
No more than 5 minutes later, a bomb threat is called in at the reception venue. The authorities have to lock down the venue and search 500 guests and all of their personal belongings. It put a total dampener on things.
50. Play Stupid Games, Win Stupid Prizes
I used to be a tour guide at a historic site that people frequently rented out for weddings during the summer. One of the buildings on site was a 150-year-old windmill that had been recently rescued from demolition and moved to our site, and we hadn't had time to restore or repair it yet.
One summer, a couple booked the site for a lavish 400-person wedding ceremony, the absolute maximum that we could allow. The decorations were incredible, they had the entire site overflowing with flowers and handmade signs, and wooden arches.
On the day of the ceremony, the bride and groom's families got to the site at 6 am to get everything set up and ready. Hours go by, and no wedding party. The family starts giving each other these looks, like "uh-oh".
Twenty minutes before the ceremony is supposed to start, the wedding party rocks up in a party bus and they are gone. Positively pickled. Everyone's stumbling and falling all over the place, the groom is trying to grope the bride, and the bride keeps trying to walk through the mud with her long dress. Disaster.
The family is livid, everyone gets into a screaming and shouting match, and the best man decides he doesn't want to be lectured anymore. So he takes off for the windmill and proceeds to climb right to the top of it, apparently oblivious to the fact that it's rickety and shaking under his weight. When he gets to the top, some of the rungs snap under his feet, and he gets stuck up there. The whole wedding ground to a screeching halt, and we called the maintenance/restoration guy on his day off to come get this idiot down.
While we're waiting for the maintenance guy to show up, my co-worker and I (both tiny women under 5'3” tall) remind the wedding party that there are site rules and they have to behave. A massive groomsman gets angry and starts screaming in our faces that he doesn't have to listen to "useless arts students", he can do what he wants, he makes more money than we ever will, we paid for the site, etc.
He ends up shoving my co-worker to the ground. The site manager saw it happen and pitched a fit, and kicked the entire group—wedding party, 400 guests, priest, and all—off the site.
The parents came back the next day to collect the decorations and apologized profusely for their kids' actions. I have no idea how two polite families raised such idiots.
Sources: Reddit, , ,